Madness, and How to Live With it

Three years ago

Twilight and the bearers were in Canterlot, there for the annual raising of the sun. It had been nice, and now they were back in their room, where Twilight was keeping a secret. They were eager to find out what she was hiding from them, and eagerly chatted with one another, guessing as to what it could be.

“Some kind of gift?” Rarity asked

“No.”

“Something awesome?” Rainbow suggested.

“It is, but not the way you’re thinking Rainbow.”

“Cake!”

“No.”

“Well what is it Twi? Yer driving us nuts.”

“I have figured out a way to save us all endless trouble. A way to prevent catastrophes, and a way to save things despite seeing them destroyed.”

Twilight was exultant as they stared. “A spell that I have been working on, a way in which I can go back just a few seconds in time, and with the knowledge, prevent something from happening!”

“Stop something valuable from falling, preventing a mistake from happening, having a few moments more to react when something comes to Equestria. I fully expect that this spell will be the solution to a great many problems.”

As the others stared, Rarity asked, “Is it simple darling? It does sound very useful.”

“It should be! I’m going to test it right now, and if it works, I’ll tell you.”

Then she closed her eyes and focused, her horn lighting. All of her work in the dream had not yielded an answer, but Twilight had come up with a solution. If she were to just ignore the last problem, the last point where one thing had to be something and nothing at the same time, then it was perfect.

It should be accurate, quick, and easy. She had included a tiny hop in space as well, to ease the transition from time to time, the spells meshing well and eliminating most of the larger problems.

It was just one point left. One tiny point, and Twilight was fairly sure she could ignore it. What could one tiny imperfection cause?

She cast, and felt it go wrong. Felt reality try to catch it, to deny it, but it was too small, and too fast. Time and space together, and a massive power on a tiny point. She tore through the veil, and was suddenly outside of the comfort of reality.

She might have died instantly, but it saw her. And she saw it. The vastness of it, the insanity of it, the un-knowableness of it, the overwhelming power that it held. It caught her at the exact instant of her arrival, as though it knew that she was coming, and embraced her, keeping her safe. She felt it offer her a piece of itself, pushed into her, and a part of herself taken in return.

It was agony. Like it had torn a leg from her, and a blade shoved into her chest. She was terrified, and she flailed, unable to even scream, desperate to make it stop with any means possible.

And then she found the thread, and grabbed it, and was back in front of her friends, the tiniest amount of time having passed despite far too long having been spent there.

And she felt it follow. Squeeze itself through her hole, and knew that it was going to arrive in just a few seconds, only delayed because of how big it was.

Before it could though, she pushed herself to her absolute limit. Her friends, teleported outside the city, teleportation to Celestia and Luna, and moving them the same, knowing that with every instant that it was coming that it was nearly there, and with every spell seemed even closer.

Her family, thrown outside in a heap, but she couldn’t find her brother. She had just gotten Cadance out when the cage had fallen. She saw the changes fall on the city like the executioner’s stoke, saw her friends locked outside, trying to enter an unbreakable barrier.

Then she screamed as the numb part of her grew. She tried to cast it from her, but with every touch of magic, it grew bigger, already seemingly bursting from inside her. She felt like her blood was burning, and heard the city all around her groaning. She sensed every change, and felt every anomaly form. Knew every time a pony died to them.

And she knew that she had done it. Ponies were already dying, and it was her fault. Her magic had brought it, and her magic was feeding it. Three seconds to save the most important parts, and now all the time in the world to hear her world dying around her.

She turned, and saw it. A pony like it was a hole in space, and saw the eyes. The eyes that looked elsewhere, where she had been, the place outside reality, and she had simply fainted. Unable to stand against those eyes, unable to fight the agony coursing through her. Her mind gently shut down, protecting her from the worst of the changes.

If she had not shut down, if it had not arrived right then, if it hadn’t hurt so badly, she might have been broken. But because she was subjected to so much in so short a time, her mind huddled in on itself, and protected itself and denied the change even as it came on her. Kept her sane even as her body snapped and changed and shifted from the shard it had pushed into her.

That was three years ago. The start of its reign over the changed Canterlot. When they had first met, and the last things she heard were two words. Two simple words, so full of affection.

“My daughter.”

Present, Canterlot Castle

Shining Armor was confused and slightly upset. He had found Twilight again after… about four days ago by his measure. It had started with absolute joy, having found his sister again, no matter how different she looked, but the swift realization that she seemed to have gone deaf had upset him.

After realizing that she simply could only barely hear anything, and her own words, unless barely sounded, were outright painful, he had calmed.

Having somepony’s ear pressed against his mouth was an odd way to have to talk, but it worked. He was even learning about things, and now knew that Twilight was not seeing reality anymore. She kept calling some thing Bendy, and seemed overjoyed whenever it shifted into a new form.

He followed after Twilight through the castle, and so long as he was near Twilight, no anomaly or thing could harm him. She kept him fed at least, and much safer than he had been the past few years. It was much better a life than he had been living.

Though she had lost her memory, and was insistent that she was Great Change, and that a pony called Hope was her father. She got upset when he called her Twilight now. And strict whenever he tried to remind her that they were family, believing Hope over all else.

It was disconcerting, how fully she had forgotten. Not one iota of her old life was left, and Shining Armor was trying to puzzle out why it was so.

And when he followed after her, he happened to spot the pedestal where Hope had left behind Twilight’s memories. To Shining Armor, it was a perfect statue of Twilight, in her original form, so perfect he thought it was alive.

He stopped, and after a moment Twilight turned to look back, and then looked at the statue and made a face. She shook her head, but he walked toward it, wondering.

He reached out and touched it, and for just an instant he relived a memory. He saw himself smiling, and reading a book to himself, to… Twilight. The vision was gone in an instant, and he stared at the statue so lifelike. He didn’t know why, but the statue seemed to hold her memories.

He needed to tell somepony, but there was nopony to tell.

“Don’t touch that.” Twilight whispered. “It’s pain.”

Shining armor went to her, and she cocked her head to allow him to speak into her ear. He thought before asking, “Who’s pain?”

“Mine. Father removed it, and now it can’t hurt me anymore. Don’t touch it.”

Shining stared at her, and she seemed firm. Then he somehow saw her chaotic eyes refocus, and look behind him and she beamed. But as he turned, she grabbed him, and prevented him from doing so. She had been strong as an alicorn, but now her strength was unassailable. Impossible to resist.

She looked at him in concern, and then whispered, “Hi father.”

A moment. Then, “Gerot, jk ksitadje” came from behind him, and he winced from the pain of hearing those sounds. They were like daggers, slicing at his head.

Twilight seemed very concerned for him and then whispered back, “Whisper father. His ears are cracked already.”

He didn’t hear the responses anymore, and was thankful for that, just staring into Twilight’s eyes and trying to see if he could spot a pupil. Distracting himself from the feeling of his ears bleeding.

“He did.”

“No, nothing.”

“He likes eating rocks. Should I stop him from doing so?”

“I will father. I love you too.”

Twilight kept him still for a few moments longer, and then let go of him. Shining was upset. Who was this Hope, why did he speak in agonizing nonsense, and why was his baby sister calling him father!? But he knew that he was not going to convince Twilight of anything he could say.

He could only hope that somepony would happen past, and he could tell them of what he had learned.

The bearers were outside of Canterlot, and though they might have once looked at the city with dread, now they were determined and brave. They were not entering to kill Twilight Sparkle. They were entering to save her. To bring her back, after three years, and rescue her from whatever monster had caused this.

“Ready?” Rainbow asked.

“I’ve never been so ready ta enter this place.” Applejack said.

Fluttershy nodded, and Pinkie did the same.

“Three years of fear and worry…” Rarity murmured. “And now, never again! Let’s go, and save her!”

They passed into the castle. All of them at least somewhat used to Canterlot, and all of them well seasoned with its dangers. No thing was going to stop them, and past fights had hardened them, made them more able to react and adapt to unexpected situations.

They moved as swiftly as they could, and by chance, by the purest random chance, they entered the room where Twilight and Shining Armor were, just a few moments after Hope had left.

“Twilight!” Rainbow yelled, the happiest of them to see her again. She was the only one who had seen her, and was feeling guilty over having speared her.

Twilight turned, and though she was so different, they stood firm, and looked into the eyes. Then she seemed to back up slightly, and they could almost see the fear despite the changes.

She was slightly worse than when Rainbow had seen her. The pupils were gone from her eyes, and her mane and tail was now very disconcerting, lashing the floor and waving in the air as though they were alive. Her hooves seemed to glint, and clicked on the floor when she shifted, as if they were made of diamond.

Her wings had changed even more, and were now bigger, and bled more. Her horn seemed to loop back on itself, forming a paradox of pattern and shape. Even her fur seemed stiff, and hard, like armor.

Shining Armor looked over in shock, but swiftly recovered. “She can’t hear you!” he called to them, and then looked at her. She moved behind him, and peered from there, and he smiled a little bit.

“She’s afraid!” he called. “Don’t move too much, and try not to scare her anymore! But come here, I have something important to tell you!”

They did so, trying to walk normally. Twilight seemed terrified of them for some reason. Then they spotted the statue so lifelike, but it was always different for each of them. Each one saw it in a different pose, a different position, relating to how they perceived Twilight Sparkle.

“It’s her memories.” Shining armor explained. “I don’t know how that happened, but she has forgotten everything, and that statue has everything she is.”

“It is so… lifelike.” Rarity remarked.

Fluttershy looked at Shining again. “Can she come with us?”

Shining hesitated, and then turned back to Twilight, and had their simple, albeit odd, conversation.

Then he looked concerned, and turned back. “She says she can’t.”

“Why not?” Applejack asked, as Rainbow and Rarity stared at the statue, one wondering how heavy it was, and the other thinking it the perfect dress dummy.

“She says that something prevents her from leaving… and… that her father told her that she had to stay.” He finished, sighing.

“Well that’s, what!?” Applejack yelled.

Shining Armor sighed. “She thinks that somepony named Hope is her father, and she isn’t listening to me. Look, get her memories out of here, and find out how to get them back to her. I don’t know who Hope is, but Twilight has been trying to protect me from him. Get the memories, and get out, before something finds you.”

They stared at him and then nodded. Applejack went to the pedestal, and eyed the statue before positioning herself.

“Ready!” she said.

Rainbow nodded, and then grabbed the statue, and gently shifted it atop Applejack’s back. The others stared, noticing how Rainbow seemed to be holding nothing, and Applejack shifting as if the statue was a different shape than it was.

Shining Armor opened his mouth to speak, but stopped when Twilight started.

Then she moved, and just before her misshapen wings flared out, they saw Hope. At least, they saw his body, and the strangeness of it.

Shining Armor barked, “Go now!” and then turned to his little sister. The others began retreating, and Shining moved in front of Twilight, determined to protect her from whatever seemed to have scared her.

It was only Twilight knocking him out that prevented his death. He had just seen the eyes when Twilight had beaten him senseless with a misshapen wing.

A hideous sound came from behind the bearers, and they hurried forward. The statue was heavy, but it was also ungainly, difficult to balance. Applejack did her best, and Rainbow and Rarity both tried to help, but all three ponies each saw the statue differently. It was often that their efforts interfered with each other.

“Stop helpin me and jus move!” Applejack yelled.

They entered the hall again, and all of them felt something. Something was behind them, following them, and all of them recalled Glitter’s words. It was right behind them. Waiting for them to turn around.

Not one of them had ever moved that fast, and despite that speed, it was always right behind them. Always waiting, and all of them knew that it was playing with them. That it could have them in an instant if it wanted to.

It reached the point that when a thing got in their way, it was dealt with uniquely. Stampeded flat.

Great was still staring at Shining, the statue, wondering why he was so interested in the shifting light of her pain. He had been odd as of late, always so insistent on things that weren’t true.

But then she looked up, and spotted Hope. Shining tried to look behind him, but she grabbed his head, to prevent him. She did it on instinct, knowing that if he looked, he would shatter, but not knowing why.

“Hi father.” she whispered, trying to figure out if she could just toss Shining without breaking him.

“Hello my daughter.” he said, and Great winced as Shining’s ears cracked badly.

“Whisper father. His ears are cracked already.”

Hope hesitated, and then complied, frowning. “Did he touch your pain?”

“He did.”

“Did anything happen because of it?”

“No, nothing.”

He seemed relived for a moment, but then seemed concerned again. “Why are some of the rocks in the castle missing?”

“He likes eating rocks. Should I stop him from doing so?”

“No. It does not matter, but if it or another thing touches your pain, tell me. I will hear you always, my daughter. I… love you.”

“I will father. I love you too.” She said, smiling as he left the room.

Then she let go of Shining’s head, and regarded him quizzically. She opened her mouth to say something when five more stone things entered. They were as different as Shining, but she could also see the weapons they had on them.

She stared in fear, and then decided to try her hardest to make friends, but safety first. She moved behind Shining, and waited.

She watched them move about, the new ones also interest in her pain for some reason. It was rather strange.

Then Shining turned toward her, and gently whispered into her ear, “Can you leave here?”

“No.” she said sadly. “There is a barrier that stops me, and father says I shouldn’t.”

He turned back, and for a moment she watched them all again. Then one somehow flew into the air, and hovered over her pain, and another readied itself to catch it. Then the light somehow moved without being touched, and stuck to the other statue’s back.

Great only took a second to wonder, and then called, “Father!” as softly as she could. Hope appeared in an instant, and she spread her wings out in happiness.

“Father, they are touching it.”

“They want it. But why?” he asked. “I will stop them my daughter, do not fear.”

He moved to follow them, and Shining moved to see Hope. Just like before she knew that would be a bad idea, and gently knocked him over with her wing. It had only taken a touch, and the thin crack on his head was only barely visible.

Then she turned, and ran after Hope, who was running after the statues, who were running away.

It was almost comical. The statues kept wobbling from place to place and sometimes rammed into things. Hope kept following, and Great did as well, only stopping when the statues simply ran over poor Bendy.

Great stopped to make sure she was alright. She was still moving and smiling. Perfectly fine.

Then she thought of something, and she called out, “Father!”

Hope stopped instantly, and looked back at her.

“Father, let them have it. I don’t like it anyway, and wherever they will put it, it won’t hurt me.”

Hope seemed unconvinced. “I do not know my daughter. But if you wish. They are already gone now.”

“Come on father.” she said, walking to him, smiling. “They were nice, and didn’t hurt anypony but Bendy, and I think that was an accident. You just need some hope.” She giggled.

Hope only seemed lost and confused. Then he shook his head and smiled. “Very well my daughter. Your wish is my own.”

She beamed. “Thanks father.”

Ponyville

The bearers had thankfully lost the feeling of being followed, though that didn’t stop them from running as if something was following them.

They had eventually arrived back at Memory Castle, and now the twin princesses were regarding the statue. Celestia saw Twilight the filly, and Luna, Twilight the pony who had stopped Nightmare Moon. But despite the differences, they both saw the memories kept in it. Every single thought that made up Twilight Sparkle.

“You say Shining Armor told you about this?” Celestia asked.

Fluttershy nodded. “He said that it was her memories.”

Luna nodded. “Sister, might we be able to…”

“Perhaps Luna. I am not sure though…”

They both regarded the other, whispering now, and the bearers watched in slight confusion.

“Princesses?” asked Applejack.

Celestia nodded. Then she focused, and a dark bolt leapt from her horn to form a dark blob on the ground, about the size of a pony. And then it quivered, and from it stepped a perfectly black pony, with dark purple eyes.

The bearers stared, not having seen Noctem ever since Canterlot had fallen.

He smiled at them. “It is good to be back. I have spent far too long apart from you all.”

“Noctem!?” Rainbow managed.

“Where have ya’ll been?” Applejack asked him.

“Looking for an answer. And I think I might have one.” He looked at the statue, and regarded it. “And now I know I have one. Memories in a pure form, fascinating…”

“It is time.” Luna told him, and he nodded.

“Very well. Listen my friends.” He said, turning to look at the bearers again. “Three years ago, Canterlot fell, and Twilight with it, but we must be careful. If we are not, the madness will lose its collar, and break free.”

They stared in confusion, and Noctem sighed.

“Three years ago, Twilight wanted to show you a special spell.” It took a moment, but they nodded in recollection.

“That spell cast her from reality. Threw her into something called the Madness, and its ruler caught her. Sent her back, and used her as the thread with which it came here. It might have been much worse, but Twilight is too strong. She is changing it as fast as it changes her.”

“Should we sever the bond they share, it will be free, and those changes will be lost in an instant. This needs to happen fast, and slowly.”

They listened to him closely, knowing that Noctem would have the best plan for this. He had lived for longer than anypony here after all.

“I will gather everypony together, and together we will move. You will need to confront Twilight while I untangle her memories, but I am afraid it will be difficult and dangerous.”

“Even caught as it is, it is still deadly. You will need to go in blind and deaf, and work on trust alone, in the face of it.” He looked at Celestia and Luna, “You will need to be there as well. It will push you back, and you all need to work together. If Twilight receives her memories too fast, the bond breaks. Too slow, and she will deny them and never return.”

“As I send them, call to her, make her know that they happened, reinforce the memories with sound. Your voices and words should be enough for her, but you must shout as loud as you can. Her mind muffles your voices now, and if she doesn’t hear you, all will be lost. If you hear it, and follow it, you will be lost, and there is nothing even I can do to save you.”

They all nodded. Noctem smiled. “It will be hard, and dangerous, and we only have one chance. It will be gone, but your actions will decide if Twilight stays or goes with it.”

“We’re not goin ta lose her again Noctem.”

“Blind or not, I’m still the best there is!”

“We will save her.”

“Friends forever!”

“Into the very face of fear, like the heroes we are! I just hope that it goes well darlings.”