"Princess, I have assembled every senior royal guard with experience dealing with monsters that have wandered out of the Everfree Forest, as per your orders." Captain of the Royal Guard Stone Wall said. "With the exception of Lt. Shining Armor, who is currently escorting your niece on a good will tour of neighboring countries."

"Very good Captain." Celestia said as she overlooked the assembled men and women in their dented and scratched up combat armor and wielding an impressive arsenal of weapons, only to stop at a squad of guards in the gold ceremonial armor and holding musical instruments. "Captain, I specifically said combat ready as if they were about to face the monsters of the Everfree Forest."

"Yes your Majesty, this is Parasprite Squad, they are one of our most highly decorated squads with over 1,000 successful missions leading the little buggers back into the forest. Their currently down two squad members due to a sprained ankle and maternity leave." He explained.

"Yes, very good, but how do you explain the lack of combat armor?" She asked.

"That is their combat armor your Majesty." He explained. "It has been made to look like their ceremonial armor because parasprites are also attracted to bright colors and a visual aid helps get their attention before they even start playing. The palace guards new armor is based off of it, minus the notice-me-not charm and the homing beacon charm so they can evade the other monsters of the Everfree Forest or be teleported out of danger if there's a feeding frenzy because they accidentally lead the parasprites too close to a large number of the other monsters that feed on them."

"Very well." Celestia said before clearing her throat and addressing the assembled guards. "I have had you gathered here in the garden as a safety precaution due to the fact that I have need of a man who has been petrified in stone, on and off, for the last thousand years. Waking him has always been a bit unpredictable. Before any of you dismiss this as me being overly precautions please note this man's first five minutes of being awake caused the riot of 227, the great Canterlot fire of 563, and the destruction of the Parliament building in 792. This man was and still is one of the greatest thieves and warriors to ever live. He was the personal bodyguard of Starswirl the Bearded for the last 15 years of his life and literally wrote the book on improvised combat that is required reading for the Royal Guards." She paused to allow it to sink in before continuing. "With any luck waking him once again will not result in another catastrophe, but if he wakes in a sudden and confused state your job will be to contain Shovel the Mad as best you can for the few minutes it will take for him to fully wake up."

A few minutes later all 115 guards had taken up positions around a statue of a man in a tattered cloak leaning on a shovel that had the words 'Little Friend' carved into the handle. He had his eyes closed, as if he was a gardener just resting his eyes. With a nod from the Captain of the Royal Guards Celestia's horn lit up and with a flash the statue was suddenly a man who was snoring. Celestia had been about to say something to wake him when one guard said, "Funny, he doesn't look dange..." He never finished whatever he was going to say as the clump of dirt smacked him in the face even before Shovel opened his eyes. Using the momentum from flicking the dirt he brought the shovel back over his shoulder and onto the head of one guard standing behind him before he could try to grab him from behind. With the bounce off the guards head he brought it forward again and blocked the flat of a sword from another guard before smacking a forth guard in the face with the handle. With a quick flick the guard with the sword's helmet was knocked sideways with the shovel head before he was kicked into the guards behind him while the shovel handle went back and down before jerking up into the guard behind him crotch.

Celestia watched as he put on a clinic on how even a garden tool can be a dangerous weapon in the hands of skilled fighter. She noted that letting him keep the shovel Starswirl had entrusted him with was a bad ideal as he parried a stun spell from a mage into an archer who had been about to fire an enchanted confusion arrow at him and sending the arrow into another mage before she could complete her ice spell. The results was her and four other guards having their feet frozen to the ground. He used their numbers against them without a single move wasted and she noted that using guards use to dealing with dangerous wild animals might not been the best ideal, but they were the closest thing she had to anyone with real combat experience and 792 had proved that using city guards use to dealing with drunks didn't work either. She didn't even want to think about using Griffonstone furies after what happened in 563.

It finally ended when Captain Stone Wall landed at her feet and Shovel gave Parasprite Squad an odd look before asking, "Do you know Mud Pie's Parasprite Polka?" With a shrug to each other they started Playing.

Despite it's long history dating back to the Terran Republic before the unification of the three main tribes, the gun has never truly taken off due to the fact that the lead used in the bullets is an extremely poor conductor of magic. This does Not mean it has ever truly died out because of how easy it is to enchant the wood and steel used in arrows and arrow heads. Over it's long history it has been a much beloved hobby of many famous inventors, hunters, and sharpshooters.

The Canterlot Historical Archives

Author's Note

If your trying to understand how Shovel beat up the guards so easily just think of any Disc world novel with Cohen the Barbarian in it. Shovel is in his forties and from a time when there were only three types of warriors: the young and stupid, the old and experienced, and the dead. Since he's not young or dead you can guess which type he is. As for his weapon of choice, let's just say Little Friend has secrets all of it's own.