Discord's Chaos

Toby’s POV

//////////////////////////////

Ssssswwwwwwwwwwooshhhhhhhh

Ssssswwwwwwwwwwooshhhhhhhh

“Argg, what the- Holy hell that was awesome, the room spinning, the sandman walking in, ebony becoming white, aww that was great. Oww, head hurts, argg body hurts too.”

Kaw, KAW.

“What the, why is there a bird inside Jack's room. And, is that the ocean? Dude, I must still be out to it.”

I stretched my legs and arms out in front of me.

“Hmmmm, nothing like a good stretch over the sand to wake up aft- … sand?”

I creaked open my eyes and sure enough I was lying on a long stretch of yellow sand, running along towards and over the horizon. A perfectly green hillside stretched in front of the sand with trees and birds chirping around a light blue sky. I turned and looked behind me, a green-blue ocean swirled and waved in the mid-morning sun

“…. Okay I think I’m still high. I must admit though, this pretty cool, in a girly-weird sort a way.”

I rubbed my eyes, trying to clear the sand and sleep from my face but found it strangely harder than usual.

“Argg, geez why is it so hard to get the sand out with my hand, it’s just a simpl-…hand?”

I lowered my “hand” to find a jet black hoof with a grey outline instead.

Raising my eyebrow I moved it left, then right, then left again. I twirled it around and found like a hand it only went a quarter turn in either direction. He looked at his other hand and it too was a hoof.

“… Oookay, this is trippy.”

"HAY, YOU THERE, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"

I looked up as a guys voice reached me.

“Huh?”

Then another voice sang out, this one deeper.

"OVER HERE BUDDY!"

Two horses were walking up towards me, saddled up with fishing gear and supplies for what looked like camping. But there was no one riding them. Where were the riders? Maybe they were walking behind them.

“Okay I hear ya, but I don’t see you, where are you?”

The horse on the left raised it eyebrow.

How does a horse raise its eyebrow, it’s not like it can understa-

“We are right in front of you, what are you blind?”

Aand, my sense of reality has just been destroyed. I better still be high or I’m going to flip the fuck out.

“Hellooo, Equestria to black pony.”

Equestri-what now? Black pony? What the fuck are these horses talking about?

“Huh, you’re talking to me? How are you talking?”

The horse on the right chuckled

“So you can talk, that’s great. And I talk with my mouth, same as anypony.”

Haha, I have no idea what to say.

“Anyway, I’m Hook, this is my twin brother, Line. Sooo, what’s your name? I don’t think I’ve seen you around before.”

SHITSHITSHITSHIT OH FUCK ME, QUICK COME UP WITH SOMETHING…

“I’m, uh, Toby, yeah that’s me, good old Toby.”

O God Why Did I Give Him My REAL NAME! please buy it.

“Cool name, a little weird but not the weirdest; so what you doing here? Taking a swim or something? Cause usually nopony comes this way.”

“…yes, that’s exactly what I was doing; now I’m sunbaking, haha.”

Dear God, I need to get sober FAST!! I’m actually talking to them now!!

“Well okay, you might want to finish up though because a storm has being scheduled for this afternoon, so I’d hurry back to Ponyville if I was you.”

Ponyville, gag. What kind of name is Ponyville? Wait, where the fuck is it?

“Okay, will do. Which way was it from here again?”

Please don’t be far, please don’t be far.

“It’s just over those hills, about a forty minute trot. Did yah hit your head buddy? It’s pretty hard to forget where it is.”

“Ha-ha no, I just, uh, have no sense of direction. Ha-ha I get lost really easily.”

That should be a legitimate excuse. Now start a forty FUCKING minute walk, high as a kite. This should be fun. NOT!!

“Well, okay. You have a good day now. Come on Line, we need to get-on home before that storm hits.”

Line nods in my direction having not said a word this whole time and then starts to follow his brother. As they fade away I try to stand get to my feet. A couple seconds later I realize I no longer had two feet but four hooves and that it was harder to stand up then it looks, plus my back legs were bending in the opposite direction than normal. It felt FUCKING weird!!

“Okay, so to sum up in a nutshell; I am now a pony in an almost cartoon looking world, I have no idea where anything is except this “Ponyville” that is forty-minutes away, I don’t know how to do anything basic like standing, let alone walking, a pair of horses that could talk have warned me that a storm is coming and I’m probably going to get stuck in it. HAVE I LEFT ANYTHING OUT GOD!?! HUH?!”

WOOOOOSHHHHH

As i yelled the last sentence a huge wave had formed behind me and smashed over me, drenching me with salt-water.

“Aaaand now I’m soaking wet. Thanks, I knew I was forgetting something. Thanks for reminding me god.”

I try again at standing up, remembering what I’ve seen on the discovery channel on farm animals.

After a few face plants, much swearing and annoyance, I had managed to stand up and walk a couple of steps. During my faces multiple relationship’s with the ground I had noticed that I also had a pair of wings. They were dripping wet and immobile, but I had WINGS!!

“…Okay, I will admit that’s pretty awesome.”

Then an idea struck me like lightning.

“Wait, I don’t need to walk, I can FLY!! Ha-ha, take that god!! A forty minute walk my ass, I’ll be there in ten with no problems.”

//////////////////////////////

“FUCK FLYING, FUCK WINGS, FUCK THIS STUPID PLACE, FUCK YOU GOD CAUSE I KNOW YOU HAD A HAND IN THIS AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, FUCK YOU JACK FOR GIVING ME THAT FUCKING WEIRD SHIT!!”

Three hours after realizing I had wings, I was nowhere nearer to flying then an elephant was and I could see the storm coming over the hills.

I was now walking shakily towards where the horses had told me to go. Every five minutes or so, I would trip on something like root, my feet, a rock, a ditch, my feet, a stick and again my feet.

By the time I had reached the hill that overlooked a small, town looking place, that I had assumed was this fabled “Ponyville”; I was not the blue-bird of happiness. On the upside I was dry now.

BOOM

Thunder started to rumble followed by a flash of lightning, striking right next to me.

I’ll say it, I shat a brick. Not proud of it but I’d like to see anyone be there and NOT shit a brick.

As a stumble/run down the side of the hillside the rain started to fall. HARD.

Within thirty seconds I was drenched again and blind due to the force of the rain.

I stumbled/run over a bridge into the town, trying to find a bit of shelter. I found a gazebo in the middle of what looked like a park. I dragged myself out of the rain and stood there shivering for a second before shacking myself like a dog, which I admit was fun, although I was still wet. But I was out of the rain, so I was thank full of that. But the real bitch now was the wind; it hit me like waves of freaking ice over and over. I now had a moment to look around a fifty-meter radius of visibility. Mainly houses where around the park and gazebo but there was a big building that looked like two house in one. While I looked at the building I notice a white pony run across the street and towards it. It knocked rapidly and the door opened to let it in.

“Hmm, maybe I can get in there too. It’s better than freezing my balls off out here.”

I make a bee-line for the building. The rain stings my eyes so I close them, trying to keep my direction towards the general area of the building.

“Man, I hope I get to it and don’t miss it, which would suck ba-“

WHAM

Yep, found it, thanks face. You’re the best finder of hard objects I will ever know.

Rubbing my face to get some feeling back, I then knocked on the door rapidly.

A couple seconds later the door opened to reveal a portly white horse with a black mustache and cigar in his mouth. His grey hair cut so that it is spiky at the front.

“Geeze mate, get inside, it’s raining cats and dogs out there.”

No Shit, Really? I thought it was quite sunny.

“Thanks, Christ it’s terrible out ther- SHIT!”

As I walked inside I slipped on the puddle of water, and thanks to my awesome balancing skills I had another relationship with the floor.  I was getting to know her very well.

The white horse chuckles, taking a puff of the cigar and making a smoke ring.

“Alright down there, mate? Sorry about that, my daughters left a bit of a mess when they got back. I was going to get them to clean it up, but then you knocked.”

“Lucky me. I’m Toby by the way.”

I hold up a hoof as if to hand shake out of reflex but he somehow grabs and shakes.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Walter Scratch, owner of this club.”

“Club?”

I look around and finally noticing my surroundings, it was in fact, as he said, what looked like a dance club; complete with a bar, stage, dance floor, booths and a DJ table.

The lighting was a simple pre-club theme, not blinding but not a raving darkness. The stage has speakers and spotlights of different colours and has a chair in the middle with a microphone, plus a cello resting against the chair. The DJ station was black and electric-blue with a screen on the front of it. DJ-PON3 was on the side in big silver letters. The booths were dark red couches with brown wooden tables, big enough for four people. The Bar was along the other side of the room and was a sleek grey with a crystal bench. Behind the bench was a staircase leading somewhere upstairs, probably bedrooms. What could my attention was the library of alcohol behind the bar.

Walter noticed where I was looking and smiled at me.

“You want a drink mate?

“…yes, yes I would. I need one after the shit I’ve been through today.”

Walter then looks at me with a serious expression as he slowly puffed his cigar.

“Are you the legal age?”

Oh crap, um what’s the age limit again?

“Ahh, I’m eighteen. Soo…”

Walter smiles and pulls the cigar from his mouth blowing the smoke in my face but I was used to that so I didn’t cough.

“Close enough. Just don’t go spreading the word.”

THANK YOU JESUS, YOU LIVE THROUGH THIS MAN, HORSE, WHATEVER HE IS.

Walter walked around the bar to the Holy Grail and pulled out a bottle, and sets it down on the bench.

“Here, we’ll start you off with a personal favorite of mine.”

He grabbed two glasses and set them down and filled it with an amber-liquid.

“Good old ‘Buck Daniel’s’, she’s my lady, smooth and creamy. So bad I shouldn’t, but I will.”

He takes out his cigar and puts in the ash tray, then downs his whole drink in one without any trouble.

Buck Daniel’s? Hmm seems something’s are just universal, even a drug induced world has good taste.

After a few glasses of Buck a door shutting was heard upstairs followed by footsteps on the stairs. Another white horse entered the room, although this one was a lot smaller then Walter and her hair was a messed up mix of Electric-blue and dark blue. The coolest thing though, was the pair of shades that she wore, a black pair with amethyst purple lenses that hid its eyes.

“Dad, Octy used all of the shampoo and hot water again. She is always doing it. Wait, what are you doing? Who’s your friend?”

Now, my alcohol tolerance when I’m sober was pretty good, but either because I’m still high or this was stronger than normal, cause all I got out was:

“am tooobiee, nnisse to meeat ya”

Then I toppled over backwards and felt a little pain, then blackness.

//////////////////////////

Huh, aww thank god. It was all a dream. I mean it was a weird and realistic dream but I’m glad that I’m back in reality. Mmmmh, I need a stretch. I reach out in front of me and then down towards the bed, pausing when it felt softer then I remembered. Running my hand down it when from soft to silky and then smooth.

What the-

I give it a squeeze and hear a gasp.

Huh, who’s in bed with me?

I open my eyes and see my HOOF…

Great, it wasn’t a dream. Wait, what am I touching?

I followed my hoof to what looked like a white horses ass.

Okay that’s a new thing to wake up to.

“Ahem, you find what you’re looking for?”

I turn my head slowly to find a pair of ruby eyes with raised eyebrows glaring at me.

OH Shit… well if I’m going to hell, might as well ensure its first class.

“…Yeah, actually I have. And might I say it was worth the effort to find, it’s rather smooth and silky.

As I say this I give it another squeeze. This earns a small blush and gasp.

Oh yeeeah, ladies’ man in any uni- what is she doing?

She had raised her hoof to eye level.

FFFFFUUUUUUU-

WHAM

“OUCH, that Fucking hurt!!”

I grab my nose with my Han-HOOFS and noticed blood coming out.

“You punched me in the face!”

She shrugged and coolly looked back.

“You grabbed my ass,”

I twitched my eye.

“…you punched me in the face!”

“You touched my ass.”

She said it a bit louder.

“…YOU PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE BITCH!”

In retrospect all this earned me was another punch.

WHAM

“GHAAA, YOU PUNCHED ME AGAIN!!”

“YOU CALLED ME A BITCH!!”

“I’LL CALL YOU A LOT WORSE IN A SECOND, YOU WHORE!!”

Her eyes narrowed and were like hot-iron.

“I’LL PUNCH SOMEWHERE A LOT MORE PAINFUL IF YOU KEEP THIS UP!”

My eyes widen, and instinctively cover my manhood.

Hey, is it just me or is it bigger? ...Questions for later.

She nods sharply and gets out of the bed, giving a small hmph.

“Now get up and out of my room. The bathroom is down the hall to the left.”

Her Room?

I looked around noticed the room finally.

It looked like a bomb had hit the place; empty cans of drink littered the ground like mines, a desk in the corner was cover by spare blankets and CD’s, a signed poster of a winged-horse with a green and yellow mane ,with what looked like a toaster burning as a tattoo on his ass. The curtains were closed thankfully, and were a sliver that seemed to make the dark blue walls look pretty cool. A stereo was in the corner of the room and surprisingly it was clean as a whistle. A closet stood next to the stereo, open with clothes spilling out.

“Hay, I mean now, not tomorrow.”

Groaning I roll out of the bed and end up on the floor again. Holding my face with one hoof, I shakily get back up and make to towards the door, avoiding any cans or chip packets.

“Hold up a sec.”

I turn to see her move over to me. She had pissed me off with her punching, so she wasn’t my favorite horse at the moment.

“What do you want?”

She stopped in front of me and looked at me coolly.

WHAM

“ARRGGG, WOULD YOU STOP DOING THAT!! WHAT WAS THAT ONE FOR?!”

She walked over desk and looked at the pair of amethyst shades, a glow appeared surrounding the shades in different colors, like a rave lighting set-up, and they lifted by themselves and landed on her face, covering her eyes.

“You called me a whore; count yourself lucky that’s all I did.”

Grumbling and hurt I make my way to the bathroom to clean myself up. i notice myself in the mirror. my body was jet black, same color as my hair that was longer the front and even still had the dark blue stripe i had. The coolest thing thou was my eyes, they were a light green, kinda like the color of luminous paint.

Two tissues in my nose and a clean face later, I head downstairs to find Walter eating some toast with another horse, a light grey one with a purple bow-tie.

They all look up when I entered, the light-grey one cheered while Walter groaned.

“PAY UP, I WON!!”

A slight British caught my attention.

Geez, there’s poms here too.

Walter tossed a bunch of coins across the table towards the grey horse.  The grey one swept the coins into a pile and then counted them.

“Hay, I’m missing four bits. Stop being stingy.”

Walter averted his eyes to me when this was said.

“So, light-weight, are you feeling better?  You took a nasty fall there yesterday.”

The grey one laughed and pointed at me.

“Looks like he already has had a nasty morning. What did you do to piss off Vinyl? Couldn’t you “rise” to her expectations or was it over too fast?”

She emphasized on the “rise” giving me a smug look. Walter grinned at me as well, while the brown one looked away embarrassed at the topic.

Well two can play at that game.

“Actually, we are still going at it, she just sent me down to grab some whip-cream and honey, cause we’ve covered bondage, M&S, your room, and costumes, so now we are moving on to kinky food.”

I say this with the world’s best poker face, the others on the other hand weren’t as composed; the brown one went bright red and coughed uncomfortably, Walter cracked up laughing and fell of his stool and the grey ones grin vanished faster than blinking and her eyes widened at the mention of her room being used.

“I’ll be right back.”

The grey one slipped off her stool and hurried upstairs, probably to see if I was bluffing or not.

Chuckling I walked over to the table and noticed the stack of coins still sitting there. I picked up a few coins and turn to the chuckling horse again.

“Hay Walter, here’s the rent for taking care of me last night and the room.”

I toss them over towards him. He gives me a nod and pockets them. Somehow.

Where did he stick them? Up his ass or something?

“That’s alright, besides, Vinyl was the one that took care of ya.”

I raised my eyebrows at that comment.

“Why, she seemed pretty bitchy towards me five minutes ago.”

Walter raised his own eyebrow.

“Uh, no disrespect intended.”

Walter chuckled and shook his head.

“Did you do something to annoy or offend her?”

“No,well…no, maybe.”

Walter gave me a knowing look.

“Coming from the colt with a beat up face, I’d say yes you did. From one stallion to another I say you probably should go and apologies, an angry mare can keep a grudge for longer than you can believe. And she did look after you when you passed out.”

I sighed and rubbed my face, wincing a little bit at the small throbbing of pain.

“Alright, but as a favor too you Walter, I haven’t met many horses since I got here, but I like you. You seem cool.”

Walter grunted and looked a little hurt which was confusing me.

“What, what did I say?”

“I’m a pony not a horse, geez I’m not that old yet.”

Aww crap, a horse must be an old person here, good going Toby, offend the only hor-PONY here that seems to be nice to you.

“Sorry Walter, uh, where I come from “horse” is, uh, a sign of, um, respect, yeah, we only say it to peo-PONYS that, uh, we hold in high regard.”

Walter leaned back and looked like he was pondering this.

“Hmmm, I guess it’s alright then. Just don’t make a habit of saying it when anypony is around.”

Pheew, that was a close one.

“Okay Walter, will do.”

I hurry up the stairs, hoping to avoid any more embarrassment, fate thou seemed to have other ideas because I charged right into the grey pony coming down the stairs.

“WHAAAAA”

We tumbled back down the stairs, ending up in a heap at the bottom. Walter started laughing again.

Try this weed, Jack said. Nothing would happen, he said. I swear the first thing I’m going to when I see you next is sack-wack you so hard, your grandchildren will buckle in pain.

The grey one got off me and straightened her bow-tie which had become lopsided.

“Look where you’re going, you buffoon.”

Even though I was in even more pain, I let out a snigger.

“Buffoon, really? That’s what you come out with? Geez you need to get some better material.”

She stuck her tongue out at me and walked back over to the table sitting back on her seat, ignoring the laughter.

I chuckled again as i went back the stairs; it was getting easier to walk now, so that was a plus.

I stopped outside Vinyl’s room and took a breath, then grimacing knocked twice on the door.

“Who is it?” her voice was empty of anger or dislike.

That’s probably going to change in a couple of seconds.

I hesitate then answer with “It’s me, Toby.”

The was the sound of foot-steps and the door opened revealing Vinyl head, a frown on her face and her eyes still covered by the purple shades.

“What do you want?” her voice was now gruff and hostile.

Called it. Okay, now to clean the slate.

“I, uh, I’m here to apologize.”

She raised her eyebrows at me, clearly surprised, so I continued.

“I’m sorry for calling you a bitch and a whore, it was uncalled for and you didn’t deserve it, even if you did paunch me in the face,  I also wanted to thank you because Walter said you looked after me when I was out to it, so thanks. I was hoping we could maybe, start over.”

I raised my hoof like I would with a hand-shake.

Geez, I’ve already got sorta use to whole weird place, world, realm or whatever the fuck it is.

Vinyl opened her door fully and she stood there few a couple of seconds, then raised her own hoof and bumped it against mine, kinda like a bro-fist or bro-hoof in this case.

“Forget about it, I’m a big girl. So to clarify, you apologize for calling me names, but not for feeling me up?”

I try to shrug but fail so I settle on nodding.

She sighs, and rubs her temple. She then looks back up to me.

“By the way, what was Octavia talking about us being in her room?”

I burst out laughing at this point. She frowned again and looked confused

“What? What’s so funny?”

I raise a hoof weakly, trying to get my breath back.

“Sorry, gasp, she was making a crack at me not “rising” to standards and that’s why you were pissed, so to get back at her, I told her that we had done it in her room.”

I laugh again, and surprisingly, Vinyl joined in.

She moved her shades and wiped a tear away then returned them.

“You know, you might not be half-bad. Defiantly a perv and an asshole, but a cool guy.”

I pulled a mock hurt face and pointed at myself. “Moi?”

She laughed again; then she stepped through the door.

“I’m going into town, you wanna come with or stay and annoy my sister some more?”

“Urrr that’s a tough one, hmmm I properly should come and get you to show me around since I’m, uh, new in town.”

Vinyl raised her eyebrow at me as see turned back to me.

“Who said I would show you around? I’ve got stuff to do. i plan to leave you lost and alone in town, a little pay back for grabbing my ass.”

Geez, you’re still going on about that?

I walk up next to her and pull puppy dog eyes.

“Awww pwease Vinyl, don’t thrwoow mwee to the sharks.”

Vinyl stuffed a hoof in her mouth to stop laughing. After she calmed herself some, she removed her hoof and lightly smacked me upside the head.

“Alright I’ll show around, but only if you promise never to do that again.”

I mock a sad look, and do it again. She smacks me again over the head causing me and her to laugh. Then she starts walking towards the stars with me tagging along.

“You’re such an idiot.”

“Hey, hey, hey; Jack is an idiot, I’m a dick. There is a tremendous difference.”

She lifts her shades and gives me a quizzical look and stops at the top of the stairs.

“Who’s Jack?”

I smile gravely and rub my eye with a hoof.

“He’s, uh, the one that…brought me here.”

She looks at me a little frown as I said this.

“Come on, let’s get going Vinyl, we are burning daylight.”

I walk past her and down the stairs and through the now empty room to the door and wait for her.

She walks up to you, her shades covering her eyes again, and opens the door in a glow of multi-coloured lights and walks outside, with me following closely behind.

Now that I could actually see around the place without the rain and wind attacking me, this “Ponyville” looked like you’re average country town, except for the fact that it was populated with pony’s and not people and the colors were all brighter than usual. A few ponies walk past and some others wave at vinyl and you.  Vinyl waved back and you just gave a nod, then she bumps into you, smiling.

“Okay bucking new colt, Ponyville 101…”

/////////////////////////

“… and this is the Everfree forest, home to the most dangerous and evil creatures, the weirdest and darkest plants and pretty much somewhere you wanna avoid at all costs.”

For the last hour and half, Vinyl has showed you all of Ponyville, pointing out certain ponies and places to go if I was hungry, bored, looking to party and places to avoid. We had talked along the way and I had earned a few more taps on the head. This forest was the last stop.

The forest didn’t look that scary, she probably just busting my bal…

CRACK

HOLY CRAP, IT’S A MONSTER AND IT HERE TO KILL ME!! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!

The branches a little to the left of us started to move, I moved behind Vinyl, I wasn’t scared or anything, I just figured that it would eat Vinyl first.

A shadowy figure emerges and steps out into the light to REVEAL…..

A pony.

Ahem, I knew it was just going to be something like that. Was just getting the feel of this place, yeah that’s it.

The pony was a dark yellow mare, with moss green hair that was styled with sticks and leaves from the forest. The pony looked at us with pale pink eyes and gasped.

“Finally, thank fucking god, other peo- I mean other ponies”

Wait, this pony just said, god, fuck and I’m guessing people in the same sentence.

Vinyl frowned and walked up to the stranger.

“uhhh, are you okay, what were you doing in the forest?”

The stranger gulped and laughed nervously

“I’m fine, I, uh, was looking for my friends and got lost. I’m, uh, Pineapple Snap, nice to meet you.”

She is acting how I did when I met that ponies on the beach, this can mean only one thing.

THIS IS DOC

Because she is too timid to be Ebony, and Jacks a guy soo, that leaves Doc.

“Nice to meet you Pineapple Snap, I’m Vinyl Scratch and this is Toby.”

The mare’s eyes widen and she turns to me.

“Toby, as in Toby Stinson? DUUUUDE!!”

The mare runs up and paunches me in the shoulder.

What is it with ponies and hitting me today?

“Ouch, what the fuck?

“TOBY, its me Jack!!”

…. What. The. Fuck.