Delivery

The muted sound of the television and the hum of the Xbox 360 were the only sounds that penetrated the loneliness of the apartment. It was dark and the television screen provided the sole light source. Bright colours emanated from it and slightly splashed objects nearby with constantly changing colour.

It was night but it was hardly a peaceful one. Outside, tall skyscrapers reached for the sky whilst cars roared as they drove along the busy roads. It was a city that never slept. Much like the tiny gamer who sat in the black leather office chair.

“dun wurry guyz its gon b k. the Mast3r Cheef is h33r.” Said the figure. His voice was monotonous and strangely synthetic. The white Xbox controlled completely dwarfed him. This was no ordinary gamer: this gamer was a toy.

His online avatar jumped about wildly, complying with its controller’s instructions. The armoured soldier was in a strange place indeed. Ice had frozen many parts of the interior, some icicles even making their way to the floor. A criss-cross network of bridges stood above him. The walls and structures were dark grey and very futuristic looking. Gunfire and explosions were the norm in this arena.

A skirmish had erupted between two blue soldiers and two red ones. All their armour looked different and unique but seemed to serve no practical purpose. The reds were backed against the wall and all options for escape looked bleak.

The toy’s soldier rushed into the fray to assist his blue allies. Pressing a shoulder button on the controller, his avatar immediately tossed a light blue grenade into the fight. It stuck onto one of the other blue team mates and a high-pitched hum emitted from the device.

Followed shortly by a neon explosion.

The lifeless body of the soldier was flung into the air and landed harshly on the steel floor, like a mere rag doll being tossed about by a child. The reds took this mistake as a moment to seize the day. They pressed forward, firing their weapons. One red had a plasma projectile gun, known as a plasma rifle whilst the other had a powerful pistol known as a magnum. They worked in unison, the plasma wielding red taking down the other blue’s shields whilst the pistol holding one finished off their opponent with a headshot.

The toy meanwhile, did his best to help by firing his assault rifle madly. Unfortunately, the bullets sprayed horrifically, only a few reaching their intended targets. Although it probably didn’t help that half the time, he wasn’t even aiming at his enemies. He paused to reload but in all the chaos, had failed to notice that the pistol red had gone around the back of his soldier.

Before he could save himself, the sneaky red delivered a fatal blow to the soldier’s back, instantly killing him.

“What the fuck was that?!” Yelled a voice from the Xbox headset, which encircled the toy known as the Master Chief.

“yea u guyz r sh1t” Responded Chief.

“Such a fucking idiot...” uttered another player, who had sounded like he wanted to end this whole disaster of a game.

“no u we wud hav 1 if u guyz wernt so horseshit”

“God, you’re such a massive dick.” Said the first player.

“that swat ur mom sed 2 me last nite lolololol”

Before he could continue dishing out insults, the screen suddenly changed and all the chaos disappeared. The words on the screen told him all he needed to know.

He had been kicked from the game.

“WAT TEH FUCK?!?!!1”

Chief flipped the controlled over the edge of the chair in rage. It landed harshly on the floor, causing a loud thud. The headset made its descent afterward, pulled down by the weight of the controller.

“fucking assholes”

He sat in the chair for a while, spouting out horrendous swears.

“Chief?”

The new voice sounded similar to Chief’s, but was slightly higher in tone. The SPARTAN figure peeked up over the chair’s arm rests to check the source of the voice.

“Why you still up? It’s almost 4:00am.” Said the newcomer. He too was a toy but looked very different to the Chief.

The Chief was covered in green armour and had a gold visor on his helmet. However, years of existence had not treated him kindly. The visor was now scratched and grey duct tape was strapped around his torso, upper arms and lower legs. In addition, the visor had a tendency to fall out.

“shut teh fuck up bitch”

“You’ve been playing on the Xbox all day and now you just woke me up with your raging.”

The other toy, called Arbiter, was an alien. He was covered in armour but unlike the Chief’s, it looked grand and elegant. Arbiter’s mouth was also unique, consisting of four lip like appendages, each with razor sharp teeth. He didn’t really have feet that looked human either, no, they looked more like hooves.

The two were vastly different in looks and personality yet Arbiter was also breaking down. His helmet (that mainly covered the top of his head) had fallen off in the past and had to be glued back on. And more recently, his right hand had broken off and had to be secured to its rightful place with duct tape.

“u cant tell me wat 2 do faget” The Chief pointed accusingly at Arbiter.

“No. But I can make you.” Arbiter slowly stepped forward, closing the gap between him and Chief.

“yeh rite u cant beat me check out these gunz” Chief flexed his arms but considering he was made out of plastic, this was entirely pointless.

“Wow. I didn’t realise that playing Reach all day made you that strong.”

“Yea i r assum im built liek a beast”

“You certainly have the brain of one.”

“shut teh fuck up @ least im not a drunk”

Despite the rude way in which Chief said his insult, it was a true statement nonetheless. Arbiter’s deteriorating state had made him question life and whether or not he really mattered. Having Chief around only added to the problem. Therefore, he saw the booze as the only way to get by and would spend many a night with a bottle of alcohol.

“hows teh hedaches arbiter? how r they?” Chief mocked.

Arbiter thought about punching the Chief right there and then but sense told him that wouldn’t do anyone any good. He merely turned around and walked away. “Just get some rest.” He wasn’t in the mood for arguing; far too tired.

He made the trek back to the bed.  The apartment was owned by a man named Jon but he was hardly around anymore. Although strangely, he would still get the occasional package for him delivered here.

The toy’s living quarters had once seemed so big but they both soon became tired with the same surroundings. Arbiter in particular felt increasingly trapped inside an asylum.

He eventually made it to the bed and used the hanging bed sheets to climb up onto the mattress. One positive about getting used to the living space was that menial tasks for a human no longer felt like immense feats of strength to the toys.

The double bed was simple but felt extremely comfy to the Arbiter. He always slept here and would sometimes sleep to the sound of peaceful music from headphones. The alien toy pulled the covers over him and rested his head on the white pillow. He thought he had a chance of living a happy life once and that was when he was in love. Her name was Claire and she was a perfectly normal human being. They met up by chance in a game on Halo 3 and quickly became friends. Slowly but surely, Arbiter realised that he loved this woman.

But complications arose, as they always do in the game of love. She was planned to marry Trent Donnovich, CEO of the company Bad Games. The relationship seemed loving enough and Arbiter let nature take its course. However, he discovered that Trent was having an affair and as a result, Arbiter and Chief sabotaged their wedding. Of course, they didn’t do so in person; the ceremony was hosted in Halo: Reach.

Claire broke up with Trent and Arbiter saw this as an opportunity to move in. Unfortunately, she was targeted by hackers who prevented her from using any form of internet access.

Yet, perhaps by fate’s will, she reappeared on the game. During her offline time though, she had met someone else, which meant that so could no longer go online as much as she used to. After a final farewell, she went offline. Arbiter hadn't talked to her since. Ever since she left his life, he felt horribly empty. But why didn’t he decide to end his life? Was a part of him still fighting? Or perhaps it was what Claire said...

He had little time to think about this, as slumber soon swept over him, lulling him to sleep.

~~~

The toast popped out of the toaster, ready to be spread. Chief climbed the toaster and threw the two slices of toast onto a plain, white plate nearby. Oddly enough, the toys could eat. Arbiter often questioned how they could eat or even exist like this but Chief was happy to wallow in his own world of ignorance.

Hopping down from the toaster, Chief made his way to an open jar of chocolate spread. “chocolate spred on toast om nom nom”

He grabbed a knife and climbed to the top of the jar. Balancing carefully, he stuck the knife inside, coating it with the sweet substance. He pulled it back out and covered the toast with chocolate.

Once his meal was ready, he began to tuck in. Each slice was bigger than him but sometimes, Chief’s hunger knew no bounds. He was alone in his thoughts, which were mostly devices used to inflate his ego.

“Morning.” Said Arbiter, who had just finished eating some oatmeal cereal at the other end of the kitchen counter.

“hey” Chief replied. “arbiter y u always eat boring crap?”

“Oatmeal isn’t boring.”

“yes it is it tastes liek cardpoard”

“It just tastes plainer than chocolate.”

“yeh so its crap but i think only some faget liek u wud eat it”

“It helps me awaken.” Arbiter responded, walking away and making his way down to the kitchen floor. Mornings usually started like this. They would eat and then Chief would insult Arbiter somehow.

There was one extra resident in the apartment. He wasn’t a toy but he was arguably as special as Arbiter and Chief were. He was the only one in the building that Arbiter got along with, though Chief couldn’t say the same.

Arbiter hurried to the Xbox. If he was quick, he could secure it before Chief dominated it for the day. However, he bumped into something as he turned the corner around the wall that separated the hall from the ‘gaming room’.

“Aah!” Arbiter quickly stepped back but calmed down once he say who he had stumbled into. “Hey Greg.”

Greg was a spider and although his appearance repulsed both Arbiter and Chief, he was very friendly. He couldn’t talk though, so he always carried post-it notes and a pen around with him.

“How are you?” Arbiter asked.

Greg grabbed his pen and a piece of paper and began to scribble down his words. Im good :) How are you?

“I’m alright.” Arbiter answered. “Was just going to play on the Xbox actually.”

“2 slow loser” Said a sprinting Chief, bread crumbs were all over him. He raced past the two and made his way to the chair.

Sorry, I slowed you down. :( Greg wrote.

“It’s fine. He would’ve bitched at me until I got off anyway. How about we play Scrabble?”

Sure thing :3

The pair began to make their way to the ‘Scrabble Corner’. The board was exactly how it was last time they played; scattered letters all around thanks to Chief. They both began to pick up the letters and put them back in their rightful place.

Greg’s intellect rivalled Arbiter’s, hence why they played Scrabble a lot. The Chief never gave Greg much attention but when he did, he would always call him ugly. Arbiter thought he was repulsive to look at too but he blamed this judgement due to his arachnophobia. Greg was slowly helping him get over it though.

Once the game was set up, they began.  It was always a silent affair, but the silence was a comfortable one. The win/lose ratio of the two was pretty much equal with each other. Arbiter tried to get Chief to play Scrabble once. It ended in disaster and a host of curse words on the board.

Meanwhile, Chief was playing his second favourite game: Halo Reach. His favourite was Halo 4 which hadn’t even been released yet.

Arbiter was a skilled gamer (and so was Greg). Chief was not. Still, Arbiter had helped him to improve once and it affected Chief’s skill for the better. Yet it couldn’t disguise the fact that all of his kill/death ratios were below 0.

Time passed and the Scrabble board filled up with letters. Greg was just finishing his move, combing new letters with old to create a new word.

“Twilight. Not bad.” Arbiter commented.

Thanks

“You don’t mind Chief’s insults, right?” Arbiter looked at Greg.

Greg’s pen danced across the paper.

I just learn to block him out.

“Yeah. I try doing that. Emphasis on the word ‘try’.”

At least you’re not like him.

“I suppose. Oh, my move. Sorry.”

Np ;)

Arbiter began to place more pieces on the board. Greg appeared to have the upper hand this time. Not that Arbiter minded; Chief was the sore loser in this group.

The sounds of gunfire and death screams from the television clashed with the peaceful atmosphere of the Scrabble match, to the point where it became unbearable.

Arbiter got up and walked over to the chair. “Turn it down a bit Chief.”

“cant u see im busy here dumbass”

“Fine I’ll do it then.”

“don’t u dare”

“Why not?”

“i need it 2 be loud so it is moar epic”

“Oh sorry, I forgot that in your old age, you’re getting deaf.”

“how can i be old when im this good at halo? only old peeple suck at games”

Arbiter looked at the screen. The Chief had just got headshotted by a player wielding a rifle. “Yeah, you took that bullet pretty well.”

“stfu he was using haxxorz liek a cowerd” Chief leaned closer to the microphone on the headset. “nice haxx asshole.”

“I’m not using hacks. You’re just shit.” Responded the player.

“lol no ur mom’s full of it”

“How original. Another ‘mom’ joke.” Arbiter uttered. He picked up the TV remote from the floor and began to turn the volume down.

“oh now ur gonna get it arbiter. after this game ill kik ur ass”

“I’d like to see you try.” Arbiter said, before returning back to the Scrabble board.

That’s better, thanks. :)

“No problem.” Replied Arbiter, who finished his move.

The sounds from the TV soon became a lot quieter but this went unnoticed by the toy and the spider.

“Looks like you wi-“ he was interrupted by a swift punch to the face that sent him reeling to the floor. “Aaah! Fuck!”

Chief stood triumphantly above Arbiter. “told u id kick ur ass”

“What the fuck?!” Arbiter rubbed the impact area, attempting to soothe the pain.

Yeah, what the hell Chief? >:|

Chief turned to face Greg. “stfu no 1 cares wat u think u ugly piece of crap”

"That’s it, I’ve had enough!”

“too late slowpoke imma go in ma roflcopter SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI” Chief flailed his arms in the air and ran off.

Arbiter slowly got up and was prepared to pursue his attacker but he found himself blocked by Greg.

It’s not worth it.

“You’re right.” He looked to the game board. “Congratulations on winning.”

Thanks :D

“Let’s clear up this time.”

And with that, the pair got to work. The letter pieces were put back in the black pouch that came with the game and the board was folded up and placed in the box. Just as they finished, they heard a knocking on the door.

Instinctively, Arbiter peered at the gateway to the outside world. “Who could that be?”

“Delivery!” came a muffled voice from the door.

Arbiter motioned for Greg to follow him to the door. Once they arrived, Greg knew what to do. He climbed up to the letterbox and began to write:

Leave it outside please.

With his note completed, he sent it through the opening. The toy’s strange voices attracted enough attention on Xbox live so they didn’t need anyone outside their door hearing them. Their lives were a secret to everyone bar a few: Claire was one of them.

“Uh...okay then. I’ll need you to sign this then sir.” The deliverer definitely sounded male. He slipped in a sheet of paper with a few details about the package and a place to write a signature. Greg didn’t bother to read it all and wrote Jon’s signature down; he had learnt to copy it a while ago. Once completed, he sent it back through the letterbox.

“Cheers. Have a good day.”

The two waited for the courier to leave. When they couldn’t hear any more footsteps, Greg shot a strand of web at the door knob and used it as a bridge to get across. Greg was slightly bigger than the toys, so he could turn the knob with relative ease.

Once the door gracefully swung open, Arbiter began to step outside. In front of him was a small cardboard box with no unique labels on it.

He shivered. It was always scary venturing outside the confines of the apartment. Someone could spot him and...It didn’t bear thinking about.

With Greg’s help, Arbiter hurriedly pushed the box inside the apartment and closed the door shut.

“Phew.” He stared at the package. “Best not open it.”

Tell that to Chief. : /

“Point taken. We better hide it then.”

Chief thought he owned the whole apartment and everything in it, going as far to steal Jon’s credit card and use to purchase items off the internet.

Using all of their strength, the two pushed the box to a closet and hid it inside. They were other, opened boxes, full of various items and junk, but they figured Chief wouldn’t be able to tell something new was inside. With their job done, the two could relax.

“How about a game of cards?”

~~~

Another night, another round of losses for Chief. He had played several big team battle matches and not even the assistance of his team mates could spare him from failure.

“fuck this shit” he said, quitting his current game. “i need sum beer: teh stuff of gods”

He jumped off the chair, landing firmly on his two feet. The light from the TV screen allowed him to see his close surroundings but the rest of the apartment remained shrouded in darkness. The menu screen of the game didn’t provide much sound so the whole place became deathly quiet.

Once again, Chief was the only one awake. Arbiter was in bed and Greg was in a maze of webs in an unknown section of the apartment.

Chief headed to the kitchen, not caring about the noise he made (which wasn’t much). He slowed down as he entered darker territory, although he did have most of the apartment mapped out in his head.

He was crossing the hallway when he froze. Something somewhere had made a sound.

“arbiter?” Chief looked around. No response.

“greg if this is u i swear 2 god ill stuff ur webs up ur ass” Again, no response.

He was about to resume walking but he heard the noise again. Someone was definitely up and about.

He began rushing in a panic to the kitchen. He climbed the cabinets and grabbed his trusty weapon; a large kitchen knife. With the knife firmly in his grip, he returned to the hall.

“come out fucker” he taunted, constantly looking about.

He paused again. He could’ve sworn he saw that closet door open...

Reluctantly he crept towards it, his knife at the ready. He peered through the gap. The closet was the darkest part of the apartment. It was where many of Jon’s possessions were abandoned. It was alright to venture in during the day but now it was completely terrifying.

He slunk closer inside. The darkness was almost unnatural. He started to tremble slightly.

“Um, hell-“

“aah fuck!!1!” Chief instantly dropped his knife and ran out of the closet. In the lack of light and his terror, he couldn’t see the source of the noise in front of him and bumped into it.

“ow!” He landed straight onto his ass and looked up at the figure in front of him. He couldn’t make it out completely but it had four limbs, which all lacked feet at the ends. It also had a horn protruding from its head.

“fuck fuck fuck demon fuuuuuuuck!” Chief ran for his life.

“Wait I’m not-“

Chief couldn’t hear the rest of the newcomer’s sentence; he was going at such a speed that he had already vanished from its sight. He hid himself from sight, giving him time to regain his composure.

That’s when he realized that he had left the knife to the mercy of the demon. He couldn’t let the demon wield a weapon!

Drawing from his over inflated ego, he built up courage for himself. This was his chance to shine and prove to Arbiter that it wasn't a lazy idiot. “this world n33ds a her0. this world n33ds a Mast3r Cheef.”

He heroically sprinted back to the closet. Upon arriving, the demon had gone but the knife was still there. He quickly picked it up and left the closet once more, closing it behind him.

“Oh you’re ba-“

Chief swung towards the direction of the sound but all the blade met was soft carpet.

“Aah! What are you, crazy?!”

“no”

He paused for dramatic effect.

“i r teh Mast3r Cheef.”  

“The what?! Aah!” The figure jumped out of the way as Chief swung his knife once more.

“fucks sake st0p moving!!1!” He swung again and again, each time missing.

“Just stop it and hear me out!”

“ill hear u in hell”

“That doesn’t even make any sense!”

“What the fuck is going on?!”

Greg switched on the hallway light and crawled down the floor. Arbiter raced to the scene, peering at the demon.

It wasn’t a demon at all. Stood before Chief, Arbiter and Greg was a creature unlike any they had seen before. It had long, very dark violet hair with strips of pink and lighter purple descending from its head. It also had a tail, with the same colour. Its skin was purple in colour and near its bottom end it had a picture of what could only be described as a sparkle. Its eyes were big and friendly looking, with long eyelashes. It basically looked like a cartoon pony.

“Um...hi there!” Her voice definitely sounded feminine.

Arbiter stood there, speechless at the site whilst Greg couldn’t find the strength to write anything.

“WTF”