(A)Nonsense

"So then I said, 'Oatmeal? Are you fucking retarded?'"

"Hey, that's my joke! And you didn't even tell it right!"

Anon ignored the pouting pink poofball and continued telling recycled jokes to the group of foals before him. He and Twilight had been filling in for Cheerilee over the past week while she was sick. Today was Anon's day, and Pinkie tagged along like she always does. He was supposed to be giving a lesson on how human culture was different from pony culture, but that shit's boring. Instead, he decided to practice his stand-up routine on the impressionable young minds. Judging by the blank stares and occasional yawn, he's improved greatly since last time.

A brief glance at the clock on the wall told Anon he still had an hour and forty minutes left before he could abandon the little shits and get back to awkwardly stalking wooing the local cellist. Apparently, Octavia wasn't into dudes, but if his dick could turn his ex-girlfriend gay, then the opposite would surely be true for ponies.

Speaking of faggots, Anon hasn't heard very many ponies curse. Actually, he's never heard one.

"Hey Ponka, do ponies have slurs?" he asked the ADHD mare sitting at Cheerilee's desk.

"Huh?" Pinkie's tilted her head to the side. "What's a slurs?"

"A slur. You know, like a word you would call someone if you want to insult them, usually based on their race—or species I guess. Something you wouldn't normally say around kids."

"Wha- Why would there be words like that? That just sounds mean."

Fucking ponies, man.

"That's because they're supposed to be mean. Fuck it, I'll just make up my own." He muttered the last sentence under his breath.

"What was that?" Pinkie's ears tripled in size and angled toward the human. He was used to her black magic by now, so he ignored her.

"Never mind." He turned to address the future dead-weights of society. "Alright, nerds. Recess," Pinkie was the first one out the door. It was the third recess of the day, but he was the teacher, so they could play outside as much as they wanted as long as nobody died.

Now that he was alone and could concentrate, it was brainstorming time. Zebras were way too easy. Griffons, diamond dogs, and minotaurs could easily kill him and would have no qualms about doing so. It's only fun to pick on things that don't fight back, so that just left the ponies.

Earth ponies were simple: urf. It sounded close enough to 'earth.' Plus, it just sounded like a slur. Fucking urfs, always walking around and not doing magic. Disgusting.

Unicorns were a bit more difficult. 'Bonehead' was too childish. 'Horny' would get confusing. He needed to come up with something involving magic. Magic. Jick sounded offensive. Damn jicks think they're better than everyone just because they are.

Lastly, pegasi. That one was a head-scratcher. Again, the first things to come to mind—'featherbrain' and 'airhead'—were way too childish. Maybe something to do with clouds or the weather. Sky? Skyg? Skig. Perfect.

Urfs, jicks, and skigs. They each had a nice ring to them. Hopefully, they'd catch on quickly with a little bit of help from the small army of uneducated midget horses.

Anon called the wasted DNA back into the classroom. He called the foals in shortly after.

"Listen up, boys and bitches. It's time to learn some fancy words."