Author's Note

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oud-UWry1Cs

Camping Sucks

"I'm so cold..." Zephyr whined as he hugged himself with as many limbs as could be applied to the action, his shivering only interrupted by his periodic sneezing. He couldn't figure out why he was still alive. The pegasus dimly remembered attacking a unicorn stallion and having his flank handed to him on a platter made of broken glass. Then he remembered finding entirely new plateaus of "cold" and "wet" as states of being. He remembered a rock, then falling, then he was here on this shore. He was sure that the unicorn was here too. Operative word being "was". His ears pricked up and his pupils dilated to pinpricks at the howls of a pack of Timberwolves. They were close and approaching.

The lanky pegasus flailed about, making noises that were totally undignified for a grown stallion and unintentionally working warmth back into his system. His limbs were filled with an agonizing sensation of reluctantly returning circulation, which was almost enough to make him forget the terror that had inspired the activity in the first place. Almost. Once he realized that his flailing had by some miracle rendered him airborne, he decided that the best solution was to land on the other shore. He almost didn't make the trip, but he noticed that the Timberwolves went silent by the time he landed.

* * *

"I'm so tired..." Torque muttered as he trudged through the forest, trying to find enough dry wood to make a campfire out of. He shivered, but wasn't sure if it was from the cold or the adrenaline rush leading up to and surrounding it. It was taking much longer than it should because most of what was dead was crawling with insects and similarly-sized living things. His ears perked up and his eyes narrowed at the sound of Timberwolves' howls piercing the night. They had surrounded him and were closing in. The unicorn wondered if the occasion would ever arise where he fought because he wanted to. "Not this... not now..."

There were about half a dozen of them, and they all burst into the clearing surrounding him, somehow almost simultaneously. He closed his eyes and lowered his head slightly as their howls were replaced with growls. They slowly stalked toward him.

"You poor animals..." Torque continued muttering as he raised a pebble in front of each of them using his telekinesis, then began spinning them until they started buzzing like angry hornets. "You have no idea how hopelessly outclassed you are."

Three of the Timberwolves leaped toward him as one while the other three held back to minimize his chance of escape. A clever tactic, as far as dumb animals went, but they were up against a sapient with the firepower to fight back. All six of Torque's pebbles were launched into their targets with so much force they simply punched through them, while at the same time the pony dove straight forward and rolled under the Timberwolf going for his face. The former Guard smiled with grim satisfaction at the sounds of whimpering and scattering wood.

"Ha!" Rolling back up to his hooves, Torque looked back at the product of his labors with a grin that first blossomed then quickly faded. The destroyed Timberwolves were very quickly re-assembling into a giant one right before his eyes. Oh right. They did that.

"No. No! NO!" The thing was bigger than the other six combined and made a very dramatic entrance. It launched itself onto its hind legs and pawed the air as it let loose a howl that Torque was sure they heard in Ponyville. Then it slammed its front paws down uncomfortably close to the stallion with enough force to nearly knock him down. It was at that moment that discretion seized the better part of valor. "NOPE!"

Torque turned and bolted at the nearest to a full gallop as he could manage on his chilled and tiring limbs. He had an advantage over the monstrosity from his smaller size giving him more room to maneuver, one which was quickly negated by his unfamiliarity with the environment and the fact that the mega-Timberwolf was simply plowing through obstacles he had to avoid. The only thing that kept it behind him rather than on top of him was that it kept slowing to try to bite him, each time revealing that its muzzle was at least as big as he was. He was agile enough to avoid these attacks, but only just, and he didn't know how much longer he could keep it up.

"Crap. Crap! Crap! Crap! CRAP!" The pursuit exploded out onto the lagoon's shore, where Torque tried to look for the pegasus he'd left here and flee for his life at the same time. It turned out he couldn't do that, so he teleported a short distance forward and turned to face his gigantic foe alone. He levitated a rock about the size of his head and begun to spin it like he did the pebbles, though with considerably more effort. The Timberwolf Alpha bore down on him but stopped when it found itself confronted again, snarling and growling as it tried to menace him into fleeing again. But faced with what looked like an inevitable death, Torque felt that distantly familiar darkness settling over him again.

The rock was launched right through the Alpha with enough force to set the wood surrounding the hole it made to smoldering. But the beast was only briefly delayed by the injury, and Torque knew he didn't have anything left. His vision was blurring and doubling, and the strength was leaving all four of his legs. It reminded him of when Tirek had drained all of his magic, making it pretty clear what his status was at the moment. He staggered back and fell onto his haunches, but continued trying to stand because he was unwilling to resign himself to falling to a dumb animal.

"Up here, you termite buffet!" came a voice whose tone did not match its brazen words. It still worked, though, and both wolf and pony found their eyes directed up at the off-green blotch in the night sky. Zephyr launched his attack in the form of a stiff breeze generated by his wings. At first, this only annoyed the Alpha, which directed its growling at the airborne pony instead of Torque. But then it coughed and smoke erupted from its mouth as confusion took hold of its face. Moments later, it erupted into a bonfire. "Yeah! I totally meant to do that!"

His bravado had an audience of none, however. The black-and-tan unicorn had collapsed and the Alpha had scared off all wildlife for miles, especially when it burst into flame. Still, the rush of victory in battle was a new sensation that Zephyr was eager to embrace, and the heat was vigorously banishing the debilitating effects of his recent high-intensity bath. He laughed and cheered for himself as he pranced around like he was in the midst of the best birthday party ever. He just hoped that his new partner in crime didn't need any more help, because he didn't know the first thing about first aid for any situation.

Joy was banished from the scene, however, by a seeming lightning bolt announcing the arrival of a new pony to the scene. A pegasus, specifically. More specifically, it was Spitfire. And the look on her face was one Zephyr would imagine of a mare who was just told that the only way to save her foal was by ripping her own teeth out. It was the kind of expression that quickly and reliably banished any fantasies of joining the military from Zephyr's mind.

"Nice work, Civilian." she said, filling the stallion's mind with pride and terror at the same time. Praise from the Wonderbolt Commander could not be valued, but what was she doing way out here in the middle of the night? And why did she look like she was about to tell somepony they had cancer?

"Th-thanks, Ms.-"

"Commander."

"Yes ma'am! C-Commander S-Spitfire! Uh... wh-what brings you out to this neck of the woods?" Zephyr asked, feeling really proud of himself for not following up with a demand as to why she wasn't here sometime sooner. Like when they were fighting the Alpha, that would've been great.

"There's been a General Recall of all former Guards, and the Bolts are the ones tasked with seeing it enforced." Spitfire replied, her voice wavering. The mare was visibly displeased with the situation. She jabbed a foot at the unconscious unicorn. "He's the last one. Up until your bonfire, we almost gave up finding him."

"O-oh. Wait, what? Why?" Zephyr was immediately cured of the illusion that he could not possibly be more scared than he was just a few minutes ago. A General Recall of Guard veterans was the kind of thing that while unprecedented, strongly indicated something terrible happening to all of Equestria.

"I am not at liberty to discuss that with you, Civilian." Spitfire spat, making her unwillingness to continue the topic abundantly clear. "Now wake him up. He is to report to Canterlot ASAP."

"What? No!" Zephyr protest, but flinched away from the Wonderbolt's scintillating glare. "He uh, look. We both had a very long day. Can this wait until tomorrow?"

"ASAP means 'as soon as possible', Civilian." Spitfire replied curtly, cringing internally at what she was sure was unnecessary hostility. But she carried a burden of bad news that she wanted to be relieved of as soon as she could conceivably manage. She hid her emotional turmoil behind a fierce glower as she marched smartly over to Torque and poked him with a hoof. He didn't respond, which alerted her, so she poked harder and held it. She could barely feel his heartbeat. Sliding her goggles up, she regarded Zephyr with a penetratingly inquisitive gaze.

"Just what the hay have you two been up to?"