Court Jester

Act 1 Part 3: The Surprise.

I yawned, waking up with the sound of "COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!" in the background. I remembered yesterdays' events, and I frowned as I recalled the second encounter with the blue pegasus. She would certainly be a problem, as well as the prince or princess that ruled over this town. I had heard rumors, or truths, that the pony who ruled over this land was purple and had all aspects of the other races. I also heard rumors about my predicament, many coming to the conclusion that the explosion in the forest was caused by me. That day, they had given me a wider berth.

Indeed, it had been two days since my last entry in this journal. In that time, I had elected to use some caffeinated soda in order to be able to stay up at night and map out the entire town, and all possible escape routes. I also purchased a tent and a few other necessities for camping in the wilderness, as I expected tomorrow to be my last day in this town. It was nice, the work was nice, but I didn't feel safe here, right under the noses of this land's rulers. I had no idea what their plans could be regarding me, as I had read that the black horse was actually a villain named Nightmare Moon, who had been redeemed. Her true name was Luna, whom raised the moon. Celestia was the name of the white horse whom raised the sun.

The raising the sun and moon part I was slightly skeptical about, but it seemed to check out from my observations. I had chosen to not worry too much about it, and just go with the flow. The madness ran free in this land, but I was too preoccupied in surviving and trying to maybe get home to notice the finer details of the insanity of talking ponies.

However, there was some good news to this madness. According to a tome I'd 'borrowed' from a bookstore, there were types of magic that even the most mundane of creatures could use. Runic magic was banned, however, due to the limitless power it could hold. The book cited that, ideally, one could create an indestructible fortress or weapon using rune magic, however there was no real way for anyone to get it and use it due to it being sealed under the watchful eye of the rulers of this land, the Princesses. They had it in a place called the Archives, in its restricted section. I could see the wisdom in that, but if I were to survive, it would be ideal to find some.

The good news to the rune magic, is that there might be books in a place called 'The Castle of the Two Sisters,' which was located in a place called the Everfree forest. The place was nigh impassable, but if you could get through, by wing or magic, you'd find yourself in a place called Appaloosa. Going further, you'd manage to escape into the Badlands, a place where outlaws and Changelings roamed.

The forest itself was no problem, but the creatures within were. It was reported there were many mythical creatures inside, such as Manticores and Tatzlwurms, as well as many other deadly creatures. Were I to charge in defenseless, I would surely die. That was why I had saved up a side fund in order to purchase a sword and scabbard, as well as chainmail armor. While not the best, it was less expensive and less cumbersome than plate armor, and still allowed me to freely move, whereas most armor restricted certain movements.

While not the best with a sword, I had taken HEMA as a small side hobby, as well as a little forging. I didn't know how to make a sword, but I could probably fix up a few small throwing daggers or a few pans and pots. My father had been an enthusiast of living off the land, while my mother was a fencing champion. My brother had taken interest in politics, but I was more reserved and bookish. I had learned hundreds of survival skills from my father, who had also been a prepper. He taught me how to make gas-masks from refuse and how to pick locks, among other skills.

My mother, on the other hand, taught me how to forge weaponry and how to hold my own against an opponent. However, she never got to teach me how to make swords, as she was killed in an accident during a tournament. She was tired, and had not properly secured her gear, which made it all to easy for that blade to slip up and stab her in the throat.

I still, however, didn't believe that it was an accident.

Anyway, I got up and began preparing my bags. I packed away my gear, grabbed the lockbox and key, and stored them into my bags. I picked up the generator, seeing it once again shrink. It went into my duffel bag, as well as my hotplate and canned foods. The smokes went into my left satchel, the tools around my belt and the few I couldn't put on my belt inside my bag. I stuffed my bits into my bag as well, the tools in my belt quickly being accompanied by a small plastic dagger I had created, for a quick stab and run. The dagger was tucked behind my left satchel, as I had loosed a few strings in my belt in order to fit it there.

Wordlessly, I gathered the rest of my items and slung my bag over my shoulder, where it accompanied my crystal rifle.

Today would be the day I would buy my items, and begin my trek out of town. I would rest at the edge of the forest for a while, before continuing on the next day. That would begin after I made my purchases and made my peace with this town. This, of course, would probably entail dodging the pink, blue, and purple threats. One was a party animal, who I was sure had some kind of cult of partying. The blue one was obviously some kind of military type. The purple one was a ruler of the land, and had a penchant for understanding the unexplained.

If the three were to team up... I'd shudder in fear. The amount of pain that they could cause me would be unbearable, and I can't allow them to find me. Which is why I was waiting around until the night came. At night, I could easily sneak out undetected. I had purchased my items already, along with a dark blue cloak.

The daytime had passed quickly, as I snuck through alleys and purchased my items. I had a few close encounters with the enemy, but my luck held. I would not be so easily caught by these technicolor horses, who presumed to extinguish and study the only fire of mankind in this land.

Once the day came to an end, the window was opened. I stepped out through it, shutting it behind me. I had left no trace of myself, cleaned every corner and every inch, even taken my blankets and pillows. I had set the room alight as I left, only leaving a note on the front door of my abode, which read, "Sorry to burn and run, but I've gotta go."

Obviously, if I wasn't a fugitive already, they had a count of arson on me. However, the survival instincts drilled into me said that it was a necessary evil, and that the fire would only consume my room, as the other creatures had a keen sense of smell. However, a small part of my mind felt guilt, as I had taken advantage of this place's hospitality. I quickly quashed that small part.

Leaving in the same way I came, by walking from fire and ash, I quickly disappeared into the night, dashing away from the scene, leaving nothing except a note and a cigarette butt on the ground.

The morning light wakened me, as the last embers of my fire had been quashed by dirt and leaves. I slept in a clearing, only a few miles away from the castle that I intended to raid. I had left no evidence, except for a faulty trail of cigarette butts that led to a train station. I had saved them up for this particular part. They would think I had escaped by train, and catch up to the train, only to find that there was no strange creature stowed away. My devilish cunning had allowed me some time before I would have to actually fight anyone.

My plan to not fight had failed this morning, as I left at first light and found the Castle of the Two Sisters to be guarded. Another round of waiting would be required, and this was testing my patience. By now, they had probably realized their mistake and were rerouting their forces. On the other hand, I could easily pose as a minotaur, and attack them after pacifying them. Of course, I could wait until they fell asleep.

Or I could just distract them.

I picked up a rock, then tossed it near the guard. As he turned and looked at the stone, I rushed across the bridge and sailed on top of the other, slitting his throat. I quickly met resistance, as the other stabbed at me, but I parried with my blade and embedded my plastic shiv in his carotid, quickly slitting his throat.

I grimaced. Now I would be charged with murder, but not only that, I also am now a murderer. I felt tears coming to my eyes, but I steeled myself and peeked inside the castle's front room.

Inside, there were no guards. Up a few stairs, I could faintly see some guards, but that was about it. According to the map I had taken off one of the guards, downstairs was where I could find the library. There was only two guards posted there. Easy enough, I suppose, but I felt like something was up. Something here wasn't right.

I ignored the feeling, pushing it to the middle of my mind. Not quite forgotten, but keeping me a little on edge.

I snaked my way downstairs, carefully watching the two guards who were drinking (while on duty, I might add) and having a merry good time. The two were passing some kind of blunt, getting higher each time. I shook my head. Idiotic. Placing troublemakers on possibly one of the most dangerous libraries on this planet? This was more than wrong, this was absolutely alarming. They were lulling me into a false sense of security, then they could catch me.

Oh how stupid they were.

You see, there's a few things you can find in certain curio shops that make the impossible possible for others. The item I had on my possession was very rare, but I managed to 'borrow' it due to my former years of shoplifting candy. Eventually, I moved onto headphones and mini-iPods. This item would allow me to change places with anyone of my choosing. Of course, this gem worked in a way that was very vague, so I figured out that it could possibly work with corpses. So I had killed a squirrel and put it on a high up, large tree-branch. I tucked the crystal in its body, and kept the other on me. These crystals were worth quite a fortune, but thankfully it was too easy to just replace them with flawed gems that looked nearly exact to them.

The planning I had made for this moment was utterly unpredictable. To make a note, leave a trail, make a monthly costs chart and leave it in the fireproof desk? This was supposed to be some kind of super-surprise, but it appeared the goddess was one step ahead of me. Maybe it wasn't the goddess.

Either way, I knocked the two out easily, then snapped their necks. I pushed my way into the library, grabbed the books I needed, and tried to get out of there.

Imagine my surprise when the door opens and the room is swarmed by guards.

I hold my hands up, clutched in one is the crystal. I drop it, with a knowing smirk.

The world swirls and flashes, just as the spells fire and hit empty air.

I wake up.

I'm in a cage.

There's a face, telling me to find something.

I wake up.

I realize where I am. I'm safe. I'm miles down the trail. I've got the books. The crystal is crumbled on the ground. I bury it, then hurry off the road and away from that place, quickly as I could.

"They're looking for me," I tell myself. I increase my pace.

I feel a sensation, like I'm falling.

I am. I see a river.

I grab at the cliffside.

I let go.

I fall....