Author's Note
Drugs are not kewl.
1. Milk Money
The Hustle and bustle of Baltimare was almost intoxicating, the thousands of Ponies on the move made it perfect for an outing. A brown stallion was leaning on the wall of a run down apartment building, his denim jacket keeping his appearance modest at best. Underneath his jacket was a stained T-shirt and his pants were just torn jeans. He thanked Celestia that he was hiding himself in an alleyway. His fiancee would kill him if she knew he was wearing his current ensemble in public. He coughed nervously as he peered out the right end of the alleyway. His order was supposed to come at this location, but so far he hadn’t seen any delivery.
“You’re the client, right?” The stallion turned around as fast as a bullet, sweat immediately pouring down his muzzle. The figure behind him was a light green stallion with a dark green mane. He wore a brown trench coat that covered his navy blue collared shirt. Overall, his appearance was clean, his brown khaki’s had no wrinkles and his dress shoes were shined. The mystery stallion stared down the brown stallion with his ivory eyes. The figure was imposing as he was professional, his expression conveying that he intended to kill if anything went wrong. “Well?” He inquired, the brown stallion shaping up.
“U-Um, y-yes, are you Herb Shop?” The brown pony questioned, but quickly shut his mouth as the stallion got closer.
“Anypony ever tell you to keep quiet!” Herb Shop hissed as his eyes looked into the brown stallion’s blue ones. Herb eased up and leaned on the wall opposite of his client, fiddling his pockets for an item. “Are you Steel Grip?”’
“Uh huh.” Steel Grip squeaked.
“Calm down kid, I ain’t no undercover guard, just a colt who wants to ease someponies up.” Herb spoke with a somber tone, his voice was gravelly and sounded sour. He took out a glass box filled with a light purple substance. Steel Grip’s eyes practically bulged out of his sockets when he spotted the box.
“Is that it... Is that ‘Purple Dream’?” He asked softly.
“Yup, the good stuff, you need a way to relieve stress, smoke some Purple Dream.” Herb held up the glass box, half admiring his creation, half observing what Steel Grip would do. The brown stallion slowly moved towards the box, but Herb Shop lifted up the box and held out his other hand. “Hold on slick, first, the milk money.” He smirked, gesturing with his hand. Steel Grip only had a confused look as he eyed the green stallion, causing Herb to groan. “Just give me the bits, Bud.” Steel understood then and pulled out a pouch of bits.
The trade was then made, Herb Shop had a bag of bits to spend and Steel Grip had some Purple dream. Steel observed the box and made sure to find the lid so he could open it later. Herb Shop looked at the stallion while he started counting the bits in the bag. “What did you want the stuff for anyway?” he asked.
Steel glanced back and cleared his throat, “I’m just dealing with some stress right now, need something to cope, so I got in touch with a friend and he pointed me to you.”
“Friend?”
“Yeah, a friend, you probably don’t remember him, he got some Dream from the mail when you still did that, at least, from what I heard.”
“Ah, the glory days, alright, what’s the stress though? Don’t take it personally, but you don’t seem to be the stallion to get easily stressed.”
“T-Thanks, I’m getting married soon, my fiancee’s been giving me a tough time.” Herb chuckled at that, “What?”
“Nothing, just finding it funny how most of my clients have problems with their spouses.” Herb glanced back at Steel, who had his down,”Ey, calm down, I don’t mean anything by it, in fact, I don’t really care that much.” He explained crassly as he looked up to the sky. Celestia once again made a perfect sunny day, much to the drug dealer's dismay, a clear day made it more likely to get caught by the guards.
"Listen, I know you need to go, but I gotta thank you for this, really." Steel Grip said out of the blue, catching Herb Shop off guard, snapping him out of his cloud watching.
"Why's that?" He asked, his curiosity getting the best of him again.
"My friend says you sell the cleanest stuff around, gives you a kick yet doesn't harm you, right?" Steel looked hopefully out Herb Shop, his friend had spoken highly of the drug's effects. Herb Shop gave a grim smile and chuckled at the question.
"No, it can still fuck with you. Too many blunts can cause serious migraines and muscle spasms, but you'll be lucky to even get that." Steel Grip looked worried as he wiped some sweat from his brow.
"W-What do you mean?"
"You see, if you're a nut and smoked more than at least two blunts within an hour, you'll be so dazed that you might make decisions you wouldn't normally make. Thankfully for you, the amount you have won't cause any of those problems... Unless you ration that shit out." With that said, Herb Shop stopped leaning on a wall and began to walk away from the scene. As entertaining as it was to watch Steel Grip squirm, Herb had one last pony to to see before the day ended.
"Thank you!" Steel Grip shouted out to the departing stallion. Herb Shop groaned and continued his brisk pace. He had a friend to meet, to meet and to say goodbye.
The BHC
It took a long carriage ride, but Herb Shop finally arrived at the apartment complex in the more run down part of the city. Herb went up the stairs to the second floor and went to the third door on his left. He pressed his ear to the door, sometimes there would be some commotions that would go on in his friend's apartment. There was no sound, however, so he opened the door and entered the room. To his left was an elderly stallion in his mid seventy's, practically sleeping in a chair propped up near the rundown walls.
"Ok Mr. Clam." A voice came from the right of the room. Out of a door came a beige Unicorn with a short brown mane, holding a small bottle of pills and a note. His red eyes focused on Herb through his circular glasses, allowing him to clearly see the green stallion near the door. "Ah, Herb, I didn't expect you to visit today." The Unicorn walked over to a table and placed the bottle and note on it. He was well dressed, wearing a dark gray buttoned shirt with some suspenders. The beige stallion also wore some black pants and dress shoes.
"What, I can't visit the great Dr. Sawbones, proud founder of the Baltimare Health Club?" Herb questioned in a joking tone, grinning at Sawbones's clear discomfort about the topic. Sawbones walked over to the old stallion and tapped him on the shoulder. The stallion awoke with a loud snort and looked around the room, a glazed look adorned his eyes. He looked at Herb for a second, but shaped up and completely set his attention on Sawbones.
"Do you have my pills, Doc?" The stallion asked, almost as if he was pleading for Sawbones to give them to him.
"Yes indeed," Sawbones grabbed the bottle and the note, "Now remember, the medicine is from Zebrica, so I wrote this note in our traditional language so you know how to take them. Basically, just take two once every 24 hours, the effects should kick in throughout the day." The old pony nodded his head and walked out of the room. As he passed Herb Shop, the drug dealer caught a whiff of the old stallion, cheap whiskey and the smell of tobacco. Once he left, Herb Shop pinched his snout.
"Celestia's sake, is the colt homeless or something?" He asked, waving his hand in the air to get rid of the scent.
Sawbones chuckled "Some days he's a little more clean, today was one of his bad days."
"Doesn't answer my question, Doctor." Once again, Sawbones chuckled, "So, what problems does he have?"
"Nothing, he's just a pill pusher, he comes in with 50 different symptoms each time."
"Damn, you'd think you wouldn't give him any pills."
"He pays the monthly payment, I have to deliver. But enough about him, what's the big event that warrants a visit from Herb Shop." Herb took off his trench coat and hung it up on a rack in the corner of the room. Once he was sitting down, Herb reached into his right pocket and pulled a blunt filled with his Purple Dream. What he was about to say was going to be tough for him, plus, he knew Sawbones would start throwing a conniption when he hears. Taking his lighter out of his left pocket, he lit the cigar and took a long drag. Within a couple seconds, his muscles relaxed and his entire state of mind was calm, Herb chuckled as colors started to slowly drift into the room.
"Al... Alright, let's get down to buissss, business." Herb focused on Sawbones, who suddenly had a neon purple mane.
"Hmm, let's see, this obviously isn't a matter of business." Sawbones stated.
"R-R-Right, so," Herb took another moment to smoke, "We've known each otherrrrr for awhile, since you used to do my check ups-check ups when I was a colt. However, I've decided that, even though I-I-I-I've enjoyed my 27 years here, I am goinggg to mooove."
Silence encompassed the room after Herb managed to croak out his speech, no matter how short an impromptu it was. Sawbones looked a little shocked, but his face mostly conveyed sadness. He had known "Herb Shop" when he was a little colt, before he even made the identity. It was comforting to know that he had somewhat guided the colt in life, but now he was going away.
"Oh... Well, this is startling, when did you decide this?" Herb had coughed a few times, but this was a good sign to Sawbones, this meant he would be able to speak coherently.
"I've decided to put my degree to use and got a job at a school in a small town. It's pretty far from here though, so I'm gonna have to stay there if I want to work there." Herb said, now staring at the floor as he held his blunt in his mouth.
"Do you even have a place to live?" Sawbones asked worryingly.
"Ugh, relax mom, I have some pen pals in the town who are willing to let me stay rent free, as long as I work for them on the weekends."
"Work for them?"
"They own a flower shop or something. Look, I'll still be dealing there anyway, so I'll probably have a house within a few months." He looked at Sawbones, who was genuinely humbled to see the young colt he mentored become so independent. He walked to Herb, memories of their time flashing before him as he held out his hand.
"Well, Shrub Pot," Sawbones referred to Herb by his real name, "It's been a pleasure to see you grow up to the fine stallion you are now. A shake to the new future you make for yourself." Herb-no, Shrub Pot grasped his friend's hand and shook it firmly. Their hands parted, allowing for Shrub to stand up to stretch his body. "So where exactly are you heading off to anyway?"
"Ponyville-" Shrub couldn't say anymore as he was pinned to the wall by the other lanky stallion in the room. Sawbones had a firm grip on the collar of Shrub Pot's shirt, his eyes in the shape in pinpricks and a noticeable vein popping out of his forehead. Shrub had anticipated this reaction, the doctor was very high-strung, but did not expect it to be so forceful.
"Shrub Pot, are you INSANE!" Sawbones shouted, "What in the name of Luna's plothole are you even thinking‽ You clearly must of had too many of your purple whatever to have come up with this death wish!"
"Relax Doc," Shrub removed his hand off of him and wiped his shirt with his hands, "I know what I'm-"
"RELAX!" The doctor began anew, "I've just been informed that my godson, the pony behind the persona of a well known drug dealer, is planning to move, and continue to deal, in fu-'effin Ponyville! Need I remind you that where you're thinking of moving his the home and heart of the Anti-Drug laws that are rocking this nation to the core. You'll be watched by Twilight Sparkle, 'effin Twilight Sparkle, the Alicorn in charge of enforcing the very laws that target US!" Sawbones took deep breaths once finished with his tirade. Shrub rubbed his face and groaned, his ears ringing at the volume.
"Listen, I got everything under control." Shrub reassured.
"You clearly don't if you're thinking of dealing in Ponyville, that's one of the most anti-drug places in Equestria. What makes you think anypony there even wants Purple Dream?"
"Trust me, there's always a few rule breakers within the most secure of palaces."
"Shrub Pot, please, you shouldn't even be dealing-"
"Oh, THAT'S rich!" Shrub Pot snapped and paced himself towards a cabinet in the kitchen, Sawbones following close behind. He stopped at one that was underneath a counter and pulled it, revealing an assortment of bottles. "Gee, look here, Doc, illegal medication from an assortment of countries. In fact, all the pills you got in here are illegal!"
"Yeah, but it's differet." Sawbones stated as he took a seat near the kitchen table, his hands holding his head.
"How, Sawbones? You deal just like I do, except you charge a monthly fee so whatever pill pusher you find can take however many fucking Zebrican MEDs they damn well please!" Shrub looked at his friend with a look of disbelief. In reality, they were both on the side that pushed the very problems that created the Anti-Drug laws. Shrub knew full well, he was the bad guy, but damn him if he let Sawbones get away saying he wasn't.
"But I have to do this!" Sawbones tone was one of grief, "You don't get it Shrub, I must do this, I have a cutie mark to help people with this kind of stuff. When the EAD laws were put in place, they banned thousands of medications from other countries, MEDs that could save ponies right now. I know I'm not the good guy in the bigger picture, Shrub, I just gave some pills to a homeless druggie!"
"And the reason you charge?" Shrub's voice was filled to the brim with venom. Sawbones sighed and looked at Shrub.
"I guess I couldn't keep this secret forever..." Sawbones stood up and went to a drawer.
"Is this about you not working at the hospital anymore?" Shrub asked, trying to calm himself down. One thing he could never get past was his temper, something that could snap at the slightest bit of questioning. Sawbones took out a stack of papers and handed them to Shrub, shame adorning his face. Shrub Pot began to read the papers as soon as he saw the official governmental seal on the top right. As he flipped through, he began to show anger and shock once he finished reading. "Why the hell did they revoke your medical liscene‽"
"Because of the company I keep." That's all he would say, leaving Shrub Pot to wonder what he meant. After a quiet moment of thought, Shrub Pot came to his conclusion and was rather pissed.
"How would they know?" he asked.
"Some higher up that I managed to piss off started digging into my personal life, before this, found some photos of me and my 'dates'." Sawbones used his magic to lift up a cup a water from the fridge and took small sips. "I had to charge a profit that was fair, at least to me. I couldn't just risk my life meeting up with these shady folk to collect illegal contraband without at least getting something back. Without those monthly payments, Shrub, I would be broke and the Baltimare Health Club would be in the trash." He downed the last of the water and gazed back at his godson. The green stallion couldn't believe what he had heard, but this was Equestria, a glorious utopia on the outside, a rough and unforgiving monarchy on the inside.
Sawbones went over to Shrub and gave him a hug. Shrub responded in kind and hugged back twice as hard. A few minuted later, the two separated and Shrub Pot grabbed his trench coat. "I'll be fine, Doc, you know I will."
"I know," Sawbones replied with a smile, "Just be careful, your mom and dad wouldn't want on the papers." Shrub Pot now had all his clothes back on and was about to leave, before he smirked back at his godfather.
"Hey, Ma always wanted me to be famous," He loosened his grip on the doorknob as the door opened, "Now if you excuse me, I have a date with Destiny."
Baltimare Temptress
"AHHH~" Destiny squealed as Shrub Pot fucked her harder than the last time. Shrub Pot usually kept himself professional when it came to the strip clubs, but tonight he decided to spoil himself. With some saved up drug money, he bought himself a night with his favorite stripper, who only went by one name, Destiny. Her aqua marine coat shined as Shrub continued to thrust his hips, strands of her lime and white mane covered her face. They were sweaty and tired, but both were really into the night that they were having, so they decided one more round couldn't hurt anypony. "Fuck me, harder, more~" She moaned as loud as she could, her voice strained from some pretty intense oral activity.
"AH, get ready, Doll!" Shrub croaked out as he came into the condom he was currently wearing. At the same time, Destiny also came and both were now a wheezing pile of sweat and fur. After a few minutes, Shrub lifted himself off of the stripper and removed his condom, chucking it into a waste bin. With barely any energy left, he plopped himself opposite of Destiny on the bed in their private room. The mare recovered from her stupor and leaned towards him to cuddle.
"Amazing job, Cowcolt," She purred seductively as her breasts pressed against his arm, "So, you think you can give me a bit more sugar~"
Shrub sighed as he leaned over to his coat, conveniently located on a dresser next to him, and took out a single blunt. With a grunt, he passed off the blunt to the mare, who giggled and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Be back soon, Lovie, I'm going to find me a light, and then maybe we can tell stories by the fire." She joked and got up to find a source to light her Purple Dream.
Shrub Pot could have told her that he had a lighter in his coat, but hours of fucking left him too exhausted to say anything. Besides, she was a stripper and they really had no relationship outside of the club. Now, Shrub Pot laid on the bed, wondering to himself what would or could happen at Ponyville. He read the papers, so he knew all the crazy shit always happened there. Yet, while knowing that, he smirked, hoping that he could add to the craziness, just a bit.
Author's Note
Enjoy the chapter!
2. Change of Business
TOOT, TOOT
Shrub Pot snapped himself awake, the loud ring of the train waking him, and from what it looked like, the other passengers from their stupor. He looked out the window and, to his dismay, the train wasn't even at the destination. Shrub grumbled and got comfortable in his seat, hoping it wouldn't be long until he arrived. Trains in Equestria were fast, but Shrub felt like he was on this ride for a day already, despite him entering the train early in the morning. He looked around to survey the passengers around him. Ponies were reading newspapers, talking to each other, or just looking out the window.
"Attention passengers," A feminine voice rang from the intercom in the cart, "We will arrive in Ponyville in 20 minutes. Repeat, we will arrive in Ponyville in 20 minutes."
Shrub Pot sighed and decided to read a book he brought with him, titled "A Guide to Magical Herb Components". As he read up, his mind wondered about the town he was moving to. Ponyville was known as a simple rural town in the outskirts of Canterlot. However, a lot of major events in recent times has made Ponyville a bright tourist attraction. Ponyville was also the home of Equestria's heroes, the bearers of the Elements of Harmony. This group included the newest princess of the nation, Twilight Sparkle.
Shrub sighed and put his book down, far too distracted about his new life. Despite his confidence, trying to deal his drugs in Ponyville would be a challenge. He would need to get the word spread, which would no doubt cause the guards there to be alert. Not only that, he would need to find out where he could go to make his Purple Dream.
Purple Dream was Shrub's own creation, taking an already existing drug and using some magic to make it different. The popular gateway drug was called "Thorns", a plant that's been grounded up and smoked. Shrub used to be addicted to this drug, thus leading to his gravelly voice. One day he snapped, realized the stuff he was using and dealing was killing him and possibly his customers. Being a Magi-Herbalist, an Herbalist that deals specifically with magical plants and their benefits, Shrub devised that he could make Thorns... Better. Using some homemade machinery and some food coloring, Shrub created a type of Thorns that had less of the addictive and negative elements and more of the "positive" effect.
Shrub had a bag of all of his belongings, but he also smuggled a bag filled with Purple Dream, enough to last for a month at the most. He knew that eventually he would need to ask Sawbones to deliver his machines. He couldn't do that now, he had to worry about finding a place to make his drug. On the other hand was the plant in question, Equis Eanibis, and how he could make more. Along with his drug, he also smuggled a packet of seeds, but again, he needed to find an area to plant and take care of them.
With every thought of confidence, there were two thoughts of doubt. However, Shrub couldn't afford to think badly. He had to push forward and make due. Despite the fact that he was really dealing drugs to get paid, he did have a cause, a cause that he barely had out of the woodwork.
Shrub Pot grunted, he decided he wasn't going to stress too much on this and pulled out a note. It was the last note he got from his pen pal in Ponyville, congratulating him on moving.
Dear Shrub Pot,
Words do not describe the excitement I feel knowing that you're coming over to Ponyville next week. Let me be the first one to say how great it's going to be to have you working in our shop. Even though you don't know them, Roseluck and Daisy (My roommates, remember?) are also pretty excited to have a new friend. Especially since you're a stallion (wink wink).
I must say, it was pretty noble of you to offer your services to us for free. I mean, I understand that you're crashing in our house, but we're not total prudes! Just kidding, we're all glad that you're going to work here. But it's not just us, when we told the principal (he buys our flower) that he may have a new teacher, he was thrilled! I'd say you got a real shot at that teaching position, though really, they're just about looking for anypony at this point.
Anyway, I can't make this letter long, this time of year is pretty busy for us. I'll meet up with you at the station, so just send me a letter of when you're arriving and I'll be there to escort you.
From, Lily Valley.
Shrub smiled as he read and reread the letter over and over, getting himself more thrilled to meet his pen-pal. A year ago, Shrub Pot wrote a letter introducing himself to whoever and sent it out by carrier pigeon. Granted, Shrub felt the idea was stupid, but Sawbones insisted that Shrub communicate with somepony that wasn't related to the drug trade. Fortunately, the letter arrived to Lily, another pony who signed up with the same program. Shrub also got her introduction letter and was fascinated by what seemed to be a plucky mare with simple interests. Quickly, the two began writing each other frequently, becoming what some would say good friends, even if it was on paper.
The train finally came to a stop and the voice came back. "Attention, we have arrived at Ponyville."
Everypony got up and picked up their luggage. Shrub stood up as well and reached to lift up the compartments that held his two bags. He struggled to keep a hold of the bag filled with his belongings, not working out much does that to a pony. He was, however, able to lift the messenger bag filled with his illegal contraband. A packet of seeds and months worth of Purple Dream didn't weigh as much as clothes and personal items.
Before leaving, Shrub looked into his luggage bag to grab one of his patches. He sighed in relief as he found his stash of magic patches. Due to his voice, Shrub could easily be suspected as a user, so he regularly buys patches that are instilled with magic. Applying a patch anywhere near his neck change his voice to one that was akin to what he use to sound like. They were pretty small, so Shrub Pot usually applied a patch to the back of his lower neck.
Once applying his patch, Shrub Pot was ready to venture out. Throwing the messenger bag over his shoulder and lifting the handle out of his luggage bag, Shrub proceeded to exit the train. He shuffled his way through the crowd, getting from cart to cart without a worry. Finally, he managed to make it to the exit and nodded his head to the employee heading it.
Once he got out, he took a deep breath and appreciated the fresh air that Ponyville had. Baltimare was an industrial town, smoke polluting the air there a long time ago. Within a second, Shrub could tell Ponyville was a truly wonderful town, and there he was, ready to corrupt such a place. He frowned at that thought, but he knew it was the truth. He might have the view that the government was the bad guy for the restrictions, but he could see the bigger picture. The bigger picture was that he was the bad guy, a virus about to enter an innocent town to corrupt it with drugs.
"Hey!" Shrub pondered no further as he heard a call from his right. He looked around and saw a pony approach him. The pony was a mare, a very pretty Earth Pony with a pinkish coat and an amber mane. She wore a blue short sleeved V-neck with gray pants and had some sandals on. Her golden eyes looked at the green stallion and surveyed him. She smiled after a while and held out her hand. "Are you, perhaps, the infamous Shrub Pot?" She asked with a refined tone, her smile turning into a smirk.
Shrub Pot recognized the features the mare had and smiled warmly, taking her hand and shaking it firmly. "Why, yes, I am the infamous Shrub Pot, and you must be the beautiful Lily Valley." He smirked back as the mare blushed slightly. She lightly slapped his shoulder and stuck her tongue at him. Shrub chuckled at the cute display. Lily calmed herself and looked over Shrub one more time.
"Jeez, you really dressed up, huh?" Lily said impressed, though Shrub didn't really think it was much. He wore a brown suit with pants to match. Underneath, he had a white collared shirt and a blue tie that was hidden under a gray vest. "You even got glasses!" Lily gasped and stared at the square frames that were held by his muzzle.
"What's so great about glasses?" Shrub wondered while adjusting his frames.
"Well, I thought you were just making up having glasses, since stallions with glasses are hot," She looked at Shrub and gulped, "Not saying you wouldn't be hot without the glasses, and not saying you're hot, b-but I'm not saying you're not!" Lily then continued to stammer over herself for quite sometime. Shrub contemplated letting her go on, but he really wanted to get out of the station. He placed his hand on her shoulder and shook her, getting her attention.
"I understand what you mean, Lily. Thank you... And, not thank you, I guess." He laughed a bit, Lily joined as well.
"Heh heh, okay, I guess we should bring you back to the shop." Lily said as she slowly began to walk out.
"That would be nice, I'd rather not sleep on the floor here." Shrub Pot joked and followed Lily and soon they were out of the station and wandering the streets. Ponyville was much smaller than Baltimare, but there were still roads for motorized carriages. Though as they continued to walk through the town, it seemed that a lot of families didn't really own any motorized carriages.
"As you can see, there isn't much industrial buildings here." Lily commented as they walked.
"Thank Celestia, I don't know if I could handle another industrial town." Shrub Pot spoke as his eyes wandered every direction, taking in every detail the town has to offer.
"You say you were born a rural colt?" Lily joked and nudged Shrub's side.
"I might be, haven't had the test though," He smiled at the mare. "For a rural town, the folks here are very presentable." He noted as he looked at some of the townsfolk. They did appear to be more prim and proper than what word of mouth led the stallion to believe. He even saw one Unicorn mare out and about with what appeared to be a designer dress.
"Yeah, well, when your town is home to a Princess of Equestria, you tend to keep up appearances," Lily chuckled, "Especially when it's Princess Twilight."
Shrub kept his grimace hidden from Lily, hearing the name of the figurehead behind the EAD laws sent a shiver down his spine. Being a drug dealer certainly puts him in against the law, but in these times, being a drug dealer made him the same as a terrorist, hell, maybe even Tirek. "Princess Sparkle has gotten a lot of attention recently, hasn't she?" He prodded, hoping to gain any inside info as he possibly could, even if it was just from a citizen.
"Yeah, I mean, she use to just be a Unicorn managing a library, but now she's a Princess fighting off illegal drugs!" Lily exclaimed, waving her hands in exaggeration.
"That does seem to be the only thing the press associated her with, even though she has saved the world countless times.”
"Mmhmm, especially nowadays, I just don't understand what ponies get out of using that stuff!"
"Well, the evidence shows that there are some addictive qualities to most illegal drugs, prompting the ponies that abuse them to seek ways to obtain them."
"Glad to know the technical jargon from your letters translate to real life as well."
"Jargon? That was a pretty simple explanation thou-"
"I'm only kidding!" Lily elbowed Shrub's side one again, a bit harder this time.
Shrub held his side and laughed, "Your playfulness certainly wasn't a word only trait!"
"That's right!" She smiled brightly, showing off her glistening teeth. "Now that I think about it though," Lily pondered suddenly, "Did you ever have to go through any inspections?"
"What," Shrub coughed, "No, I don't think so, I probably needed to be, but Baltimare is pretty loose on this stuff."
"Hmm, lucky you, the flower shop gets inspections twice a month." Lily looked to the sky with a frown. "I agree that the Equestrian Anti-Drug Laws are helping combat drugs, especially when they're so prominent now. On the other hand, the restrictions we face are so demanding, but Twilight keeps saying 'we must sacrifice to keep Equestria healthy'." She sighed. Shrub smiled in remorse, knowing a few more ponies that suffer way worse for "keeping Equestria healthy".
"Don't worry too much about it Lily, hopefully we'll get to the point where these laws won't be needed." He beamed at her, trying to entice a smile from her muzzle. She looked back at him and gave him what he wanted, a nice, clean smile. She looked ahead and gasped as she spotted the flower shop. She went into a sprint and yelled out to a pony in front of the store. Shrub contemplated running to them, but he'd rather not go to this interview smelling of sweat.
The pony that Lily ran to was another Earth Pony mare. She had a pale yellow coat and a red mane with light streaks. The mare wore a strapless green shirt with white pants and red flats. It appeared that the mare was watering some plants for display outside the shop. She turned around as Lily got her attention and the two mares began to converse. Shrub Pot neared the two, firmly gripping his bags for dear life.
The new mare looked towards Shrub and smirked with half-lidded green eyes. "Jeez, Lily, you didn't say your coltfriend was so handsome!" She marveled, giggling at the now embarrassed Lily Valley. Shrub smiled at the scene and let go of his luggage bag once near.
"Hello, my name's Shrub Pot, it's very nice to meet you." He held out his hand.
"Ooh, and polite, he's a keeper, girl! My name's Roseluck, I work and live here." Roseluck shook Shrub's hand, all while Lily's face became more and more flushed. Lily, deciding to help her new roommate in, went to grab his bag. With a swift hand, Shrub grabbed the bag and pulled closer to him, maintaining the same polite smile.
"Please, no need to strain yourself." He said, paying no mind to the two confused mares. Despite the confidence he holds on to, Shrub understood that he was in the heart of the EAD laws. A pony like him had a pretty deep hand in the drug business, though he didn't truly know what his reputation was.
"Hmm, pretty sketchy, you aren't hiding anything perverted in there, are you?" Roseluck tried to bring back the mood, earning a giggle from Lily and a gulp from Shrub. Lily got behind Shrub and proceeded to move him into the house. Shrub didn't hesitate and moved to where Lily wanted him to go. Roseluck merely smirked at the two and went back to her activity.
As the two entered the house, Shrub immediately noted the pristine look of the place. Everything was shiny, from the green walls, the wooden floor tiles, and even the furniture. Looking to his left, he saw another mare lying down under blankets on a chocolate brown couch. He only saw her head, as the rest of her body was covered in a lime green blanket. The mare had a pink coat and a curly green mane and was currently sleeping.
"That's Daisy," Lily explained in a hushed tone, "She's been working hard in the garden all week, so we're letting her rest up."
"That's good." Shrub whispered back. Lily tapped his shoulder and went up the stairs, the green stallion following close behind. It was a bit of a struggle lifting his heavy luggage bag so the mare on the couch wasn't awoken by the noise of the wheels against the stairs. Lily ran up ahead and went all they way to Shrub's room, waiting at the door for the stallion. After managing through the hurdle of walking up the stairs, Shrub sighed and went over to Lily.
With a turn and a smile, Lily opened the door to reveal a room of a considerable small area. The walls and floor were both gray, and the only furniture available was a desk with a chair and a bed. "This is all we could do before you got here, sorry if you don't like it." Lily said, her expression remorseful.
"No, it's perfectly fine, I'm only staying here for the time being until I can get the bits for a house." Shrub stated as he entered the room. He plopped his bags down and surveyed the space he was in. There was no way he could make Purple Dream with this kind of area, but where could he? He saw in the corner of his eye that Lily was looking worried, so he quickly stopped and smiled. "It's great, really."
Lily smiled and stepped away from the door, her nervous expression leaving. "Okay, I'm gonna head downstairs and tend to the flowers." She started walking away, but popped her head in the door to say one more thing. "Oh, and Shrub, it's great that you're here, really!" With that, she went along her way, leaving Shrub to tend to his bags with a smile.
'Those mares might be the death of me...' Shrub sighed internally. He was currently looking down at a map that Lily gave him so he could find his way to the school building. The three mares, known around town as the "Flower Trio", were certainly unique. Daisy, who had woken up to introduce herself, was very friendly, though had that sort of "valley mare" personality to her. He didn't like to label ponies, but Daisy certainly had all the traits that Sawbones described. She was nice, but had a very limited vocabulary and seemed, well, airheaded.
Roseluck was the mischievous one, constantly poking fun at her friends whenever she could, including Lily's demeanor towards their new roommate. She always had this permanent smirk whenever Shrub was in a room. His arrival had clearly brought out something that lay dormant in Roseluck for quite sometime. All that could be inferred was that life with Roseluck would be the most difficult.
Lily seemed to be the only normal mare amongst the trio, despite her very active personality. The mare was very friendly and hyper from what Shrub Pot could tell. He also noticed how Lily acted towards him whenever they were near. The two had written for many months to each other and had grown, what Shrub felt, was a standing friendship. Although, Lily seemed pretty flustered whenever she was near him, especially when Roseluck would make a joke about them. She practically pushed him out of the door when Roseluck's jokes got a bit frisky.
It was the afternoon and Shrub was finding his way to the local school. The trio had made it apparent that they, being the principal and staff, were looking for just about anypony. Shrub was confident, as he usually was, since he might have been the only MagiHerbalist in the town. On top of that, his current residence had all the lesson plan materials he ever needed, provided he worked of course. His only real concern was the kids he would be teaching, but even then, there was no way they could pose a problem.
A red and white building came into view once Shrub found his path. It was large and flat, covering many acres from as far as the eye could see. From the right side of the building was a plethora of equipment for a playground. Shrub stopped walking to observe, his neutral expression growing into a frown. The equipment was worn out from age and practically covered in mold. Shrub sighed, knowing that even a town with such a prestigious reputation like Ponyville had its blemishes.
Shrub Pot jogged up the front entrance and pushed a bright green button near the left door. In a few minutes, he heard a click and pushed the doors open. He entered into a long hallway and began his walk to the principal's office. Thankfully, every wall had a map of the schools interior, so Shrub found his way easily. Eventually, he stood in front a brown door with a plaque on the middle that read "Headmaster".
With a knock, the door illuminated with a brown glow and opened. Sitting behind a large mahogany desk was a pudgy Unicorn Stallion. Shrub thought he was sickly at first, but it hit him quickly that it was his olive colored coat that made it look that way. He had only a few strands of maroon mane on his head, which was clearly balding. The Unicorn looked up from his paperwork and smiled warmly. "Hello, come in, I've been expecting you!" He cheered and pulled out a chair with his magic.
Shrub closed the door behind and slowly sat down, adjusting himself accordingly. "Thank you very much, Mr.-"
"Please," The Unicorn interjected, "Just call me 'Principal', my real name is, well, embarrassing." He chuckled. Principal took out a handkerchief from his shirt pocket and wiped his forehead, which had noticeable sweat pouring down.
"Would you like me to crack open a window, Mr... Principal?" Shrub asked, slightly worried for the Unicorn's health.
"Oh, no, I just start to sweat when I'm doing paperwork." Principal chuckled again. Shrub followed along and chuckled as well, noticing Principal's smile beam. So far, this interview was weird, but Shrub could handle that, his usual line of work was always weird. "Anywho," Principal went on, grabbing a file from one of the desk's shelves, "You must be Shrub Pot, I presume?"
"Yes, that is correct." Shrub responded firmly, his posture still and his eyes firmly locked on Principal and the folder he held.
"Ah, that's good, for a second I was wondering if you wouldn't show up. Now, I did get your files via mail, and I must say, you might just be overqualified for this job." Principal looked over to Shrub, who was staying silent, so he carried on. "I expected a pony with at least some knowledge of magical plants, but not a full on scholar of MagiHerbology!"
"Thank you, sir, though I am far from a scholar." Shrub admitted as he ran his hand through his mane.
"Oh, nonsense," Principal made a motion with his hand, "In Ponyville, you might as well be, since nopony really has any knowledge of magiflora. Well, I suppose that trio who manage the local flower shop do, but only a small bit. Speaking of them, I believe a little bird told me you were living under their roof?"
"Yes, but only temporary, I plan to buy a house closer to the school sooner or later." Shrub spoke, adjusting himself in his seat for what felt like the millionth time.
"Hmm, that's good, very good indeed. Well, you'll have your own dedicated classroom, come back tomorrow and I'll have-"
"Wait!" Shrub interrupted with a perplexed expression. "Do-do I have the job?"
"Of course, we've got nopony else, my staff will help you out tomorrow, come by after school and we can get started." Principal smiled at the young stallion across from him, who was shocked at how easy he had gotten the job. A small part of him thought to question this decision, but another part, his brain to be precise, told him to shut up and nut up.
"T-Thank you Principal, I'll come back tomo-"
"Up Up Up," Principal held up his hand, "Not so fast young colt, there is one important matter we must discuss." The Unicorn suddenly had the serious tone that Shrub expected in the first place. Shrub calmed himself and adjusted himself one more time as Principal began.
"I'm sure you know this, but others may not due to poor explanation, Equestria is in a time of confusion. Without rhyme nor reason, drug abuse within this country has gone rampant in the last couple of years. Frankly, I've never been one to understand the need for drugs such as thorns, yet it clearly has affected a large majority of the populace. This problem would have probably grown out of hand, if not for the efforts of our very own Princess Twilight Sparkle. Thanks to her and the combine efforts of the Canterlot Day Court, the EAD laws were formed to stunt the drug culture growth.
"The EAD laws, in case you need a reminder, are a collection of bills made by the day court and her majesty that are fully legal and offendable. Some of these include the ban on contraband, the ban of outside prescription medication, the ban on several medications in use here, etc. These laws were formed and made legal so that the continuation of drug culture within Equestria would cease the damage it does to our country.
"Now, I'm sure you must be wondering why I am telling you all of this. You see, your position as a MagiHerbalist is complicated because, while you have the most authority on magiflora, the country would like control over the source of the drugs. As such, a MagiHerbalist such as yourself may come under... 'Scrutiny' by the law for possessing a magiflora that might be-"
"You want me to keep drug related plants out of the classroom." Shrub deadpanned as he looked over the Principal, who nodded in confirmation.
"If you could, I would be very appreciative. Ponyville is the center of anti-drug customs, so I want to make sure this school follows suit. I will allow you to teach the students about any of the many magiflora that exist, I will condemn any and all attempts by the staff, not just you, for any nods towards recent events." Principal stood up and held his hand out to Shrub. "Do we have a deal, Shrub Pot?"
Shrub considered his options carefully. On one hand, it wasn't right to keep kids in the dark when it came to current events. Even if the topic was as heavy as drugs, Shrub felt that his position could help educate colts and fillies alike on the dangers of drug abuse. While this thought was nice and all, cold reality made Shrub look on the other side of the problem. He was a drug dealer, he had no reason to want to educate kids on not doing drugs. Did he think doing them was wrong, of course (to some extent), but facts were facts. Besides, if he did go and tell his class about this, not only would he lose his job, but he would gather more suspicion once some unprecedented activities on Ponyville soil.
With a clear mind, Shrub Pot stood up and shook Principal's hand firmly. "Of course, sir, you can count on me."
"And that's pretty much what happened." Shrub said as he took another bite of his salad. It was now noon and he and the flower trio were at the kitchen table, enjoying a salad prepared by Roseluck.
"Wow, I can't believe the principal would be that frank." Lily mused, her hand holding up her head as she poked her fork through her salad.
"It's not that surprising, where we live, in these times, I would probably want to uphold some reputation too." Roseluck said as dipped a crouton in a bowl of ranch dressing.
"But our kids should know what's going on out there, even if they're protected here!"
"It's not that simple, Lily, any form of hypocrisy that the press can find would shatter Twilight and the EAD laws credibility."
"Ugh, what do you think Daisy?" Lily turned her head towards Daisy, who was innocently eating her salad. She looked up and surveyed the table, noticing the three pairs of eyes looking at her. She gulped her mouthful of salad and placed her fork on a napkin.
"...Wha?" She asked with the voice of a scholar. The two mares sighed at the question while Shrub chortled.
"Ooookay... What about you, Shrub? You must have some opinion on this matter." Lily asked as she gazed at Shrub Pot.
"Hmm, well," Shrub began, "I do agree that children should be fully aware and informed about the current events of this nation. But, as Roseluck pointed out, considering we're in Ponyville, there is a standard that is expected."
"Exactly." Roseluck smirked in triumph at Lily.
Lily sighed in an exasperated manner. "Is this really how we have to look at things, Pot?" She asked.
"I would say so," He took another bite of his salad, "Not everything about this is black and white Lily, though it's not entirely gray either. I stand by the idea that life has black and white sides with gray blots in each." Shrub stood up and began to clean his bowl. After his bowl was squeaky clean, Shrub Pot zipped up the gray hoodie he was wearing and went to the front door.
"Moonlight stroll?" Roseluck said as she ate more salad. "Why not take Lily with you, get some alone time~." She laughed, Lily practically hiding her head in the salad she was eating. Daisy also laughed, though Shrub was convinced she didn't know why she was.
"I'm just going to roam around for a bit, get a sense of the town, you know?" Shrub went on as he slipped on some sandals.
"Nice, rocking the socks and sandals look! Oh, by the way, you should probably expect a pink visitor sometime tomorrow." Roseluck smiled as she went to clean her bowl. Shrub shrugged in confusion and opened the front door, a chorus of goodbye's following behind.
The cold wind of the night soared through Shrub Pot. He was shivering, almost to the point of freezing, if not for the clothes he was wearing. Shrub could not go back though, it was important for him to map out all of Ponyville. If he was going to sell Purple Dream, he felt, with good reason, that he needs to know everything. He needs to know ponies, locations, customs, anything he could find to wrap Ponyville around his finger.
Baltimare was much simpler than it is now. Shrub grew up there, knowing every street corner and shop. He also didn't have to worry about any inspections in his old apartment. Therefore, he had the perfect area to cook his drug, provided nopony entered unannounced. Finally, Shrub had one thing he didn't have here, connections. He had ties with the Baltimare Mexicolt Cartel, Dr. Pills (who was his godfather, Sawbones), and even the New Lunar Church.
Things were new here, Shrub didn't like it one bit. 'No way I'll find any help in this place' He thought to himself as he observed a couple buildings. As if fate had heard his thoughts, Shrub Pot saw a figure near a house. The figure looked at Shrub with amber eyes and beckoned him to follow. Every fiber in Shrub's being told him not to go, but his body had other plans. He walked towards the shadow, which started walking to the edge of town. As the two were walking, Shrub realized he was now walking outside the perimeters of the town.
The plains outside were bland, a few peaks, but otherwise there wasn't anything remarkable. Shrub Pot was about to shout out to the figure, or even run away, but he saw something that shocked him. The figure kept walking, only to disappear, a ripple in the air being where it was. Shrub's eyes widen and he ran to where the figure was, looking frantically. Had he just imagined this figure? Was it a sign to start planting around here? Shrub didn't think so, the area was too open, anypony could wander and find the drug plants.
"Come." A soft, elderly voice spoke. Ears perking up, Shrub stumbled and fell down on the grass. He hadn't taken any intense drugs before or now, so where he was hearing this voice was a mystery. "Ugh, don't waste time, much to talk." A dark maroon hand popped out of thin air, another ripple appearing at the end of the hand. With great hesitation, Shrub grasped the hand and was pulled up and into the ripple.
His eyes were firmly shut, convinced that he was either dead or going to be dead. A tap on his shoulder made him have a knee-jerk reaction and his eyes opened fast. All around him were ponies who looked poverty-stricken. They were all colors of different shades, but one pony stood out amongst the rest. He was a dark maroon color, just like the hand, and had several other characteristics. Besides his coat color, his mane and beard were gray. They were both long, too, almost reaching down to the old pony's belly button. Finally, they were both styled in a ponytail, kept that way by some red bands.
"H-How... W-What is this place?" Shrub stuttered, focusing his attention on the maroon stallion. The old pony took off his turban, revealing a horn.
"This is... 'Outer Ponyville'. We are the section of the populace that were banned from the main town." The Unicorn spoke, his voice conveying wisdom and delicacy.
"Okay." Shrub breathed, clearly uncomfortable about his current situation.
"I am Clear Fortune," The old pony continued, unfazed by Shrub's unease, "I use to be the fortune teller back in Ponyville, but when the drug laws came about, I was one of the first removed."
"Wait, wait," Shrub interjected, "What do you mean 'removed', 'banned', what are you talking about?"
"Isn't that obvious?" Clear Fortune said with a look of annoyance. "Once the EAD laws were put in place, the local guards went around and kicked out any undesirables that were under notice for drug possession before. So, me and a couple of other Unicorns made a barrier to hide the huts we were building near the town."
Shrub scanned the "houses" around him to see their condition. Calling them huts was an overstatement, shack was the more proper term. The poor excuse for houses were made crudely, with bits of sticks and some bricks making the exterior for most of them. "I had a vision," Shrub turned to Clear Fortune, who had put his turban back on his head, "That a pony of looks just like your own would come to us. It told me that you would make a difference, not just for us, but for all of Equestria as well."
"I don't-"
"Shhhh!" Clear Fortune held a finger to Shrub Pot's mouth. "Please, we are your friends here, no need for the deception." The Unicorn, with the speed of a cheetah, reached back and peeled off the patch on Shrub's neck. He winced and grasped where the pain was, glaring at the old Unicorn whilst doing so. Despite his initial anger, Shrub cleared his throat and returned to his sentence.
"I don't think I'm the stallion for the job." He resumed, his natural voice coming back to him.
"On the contrary, you have a plan to stir trouble, hmm?" Clear Fortune raised an eyebrow.
"To sell my product, sure, probably gonna cause a bit of a commotion, so I guess you're right." Shrub shrugged, getting creeped out by the homely ponies that were staring at him.
"Well, what if we were to help you?" The old Unicorn smiled.
"Hmph," Shrub rolled his eyes, "That's a likely story, what's the catch and how exactly can you help me."
"Follow." Clear Fortune made his way through the shacks, his entourage plus Shrub following behind. It was only a short distance, but Shrub could only imagine what these ponies had to "help". When the group came to a stop, Shrub moved his way through to see a greenhouse. Unlike the excuses for houses behind them, the greenhouse was in perfect condition. "When I saw your arrival in the cosmos, The ponies and I made this to assist. Your product is a plant, correct?" Clear Fortune looked at Shrub, who was marveling at this perfect opportunity.
He snapped out of his daze and got back to what was important. "Yes, but what are you ponies gonna what in return?"
"Is there not such a thing as a charitable act?" Clear Fortune asked gently.
"Not in Baltimare, pal. What's the sob story?" Shrub asserted as he folded his arms. Clear Fortune sighed and took a pipe out of his pants pocket.
"We would like a potion of your product, we all share a pipe, so we don't need much." Shrub's eyes stared at the pipe. It looked to be used, worn out from excessive smoking. He looked around at all the ponies, who viewed him with pleading eyes. Shrub sighed, if he was going to make a profit, he need that greenhouse. With a grunt, he took Clear Fortune's open hand and shook it firmly.
"Alright, I've got some preserved and plenty of seeds. I'll come back tomorrow to work to plant them, but I'm gonna need your help on this. I won't be here everyday, next week I'll have a job that'll take up most of my time. I can write down instructions on how to take care of them, but you're gonna need to give me time to get the stuff to perfect my recipe, capiche." Shrub studied the reactions of the homely ponies, who were all nodding their heads.
"We will work under your terms, we have to, if we want our homes back." Clear Fortune admitted, wiping the pipe with his torn sleeve. "Don't worry, we can handle it, trust me."
"... Alright, I'll be off, expect me here tomorrow." Shrub grunted and went off back to Ponyville.
Shrub's mind was in a frenzy. Had he really gained some allies already? It was too good to be true, though, perhaps the famous Ponyville hospitality was in effect. Yet, there were still the many possibilities of how this could all go wrong. It didn't matter to Shrub now, however. Time was the greatest ally, it would reveal anypony's intentions no matter how long the wait would be. With a sigh, Shrub continued his way back to the flower shop. If today was eventful, tomorrow would certainly be a mark on history.
3. Teacher's Talking Tentavily
Author's Note
Next chapter won't come for awhile, planning on focusing on some other projects. Do not fret, I will be back to this soon.
3. Teacher's Talking Tentavily
Greenhouses were Shrub's favorite structure. While studying for his degree, Shrub worked in greenhouses at least once a week. To him, they were the most relaxing building you can be in. Even now, the green stallion's mind was tranquil as he dug out the dirt inside to plant his seeds. There was still a feeling of dread, however. The seeds he was planting were the most illegal item to possess right now. Shrub could only hope the plants reproduced to make more seeds, or else he would be stumped.
"How goes the planting?" Clear Fortune asked as he entered the greenhouse. He was wearing the same clothes from yesterday, which were exuding a very rank smell. Shrub smelled worse back in Baltimare, though, so he wasn't really bothered by it. The two had started talking to each other when Shrub Pot arrived early in the morning. All of Shrub's initial worries were quelled by the old stallion. He explained it that all he really wanted was change to come to Ponyville and ultimately Equestria as well.
Shrub Pot had always suppressed his emotions when he started dealing drugs. However, he couldn't help but feel remorse for Clear Fortune and his plight. He was a grandfather who made a living telling ponies their fortune. It was a surprisingly good gig, especially since the recent events with the Elements. Unfortunately, it was widely known around the town that Clear Fortune smoked a drug to "clear his mind". When the EAD laws took effect, he was one if not the first pony banned from Ponyville.
"Just finishing the last seed, you find any mulch?" Shrub asked as he covered the seed with the dirt he had dug up beforehand.
"Neither I nor the others could find any." Clear Fortune admitted, his head bent down in shame.
"Don't worry about it too much," Shrub consoled, "Equis Eanibis can grow in some of the most harsh conditions. All we really have to do is water them every couple of days and they'll be fully grown in... Three weeks time." Shrub went over to one of the tables in the greenhouse that had his messenger bag. He lifted up the flap and pulled out a glass box filled with Purple Dream. "Here's your cut, should last you a good while." Shrub said as he handed the box to Fortune.
"Thank you very much," Clear Fortune said while inspecting the box, "Now, am I overstepping my boundaries when I ask how you make this stuff?"
"Trade secret," Shrub smirked at the old pony, "Only I know how to do it."
"Ah, understood." Clear Fortune tucked the glass box in his pocket. Shrub Pot had broken a barrier to allow himself to trust the "Outer Ponyvillians". Despite this, Shrub Pot would never let anypony, not even those closest to him, know how to make Purple Dream. The green stallion groaned and rubbed his eyes, realizing how early in the morning it was. He had woken up to get an early start, something he really hated to do. Despite its benefits, waking up early was like Tartarus to Shrub Pot, or anypony for that matter. Even more of a pain, he had to explain to Roseluck what he was doing. Thankfully, she took the "I'm gonna jog" story for what it was worth.
Shrub looked at his watch and decided it was time to write his letter. He turned to Clear Fortune as he took out a piece of paper he smuggled from the flower shop. "Do you have any birds trained in delivering letters?"
"Yes," Fortune confirmed, "But she's pretty old."
"That's fine." Shrub said as he took a pen and began to write to his trusted confidant.
Sawbones,
It's Shrub, first off, everything is ok so far. I'm in luck, I've got a "team" to help me, so don't be too alarmed. Now pay attention, because I can't be writing a bunch of letters. I need you to send me my equipment to make Purple Dream.
I've got a place to plant and care for the Thorns, if you send me my stuff, I can make my shit. Don't worry about the ponies helping me, they seem reliable, for the most part.
Shrub Pot.
He folded the paper and slipped in an envelope, also "borrowed" from the shop. Shrub walked out of the greenhouse and went to Clear Fortune's shack, which was the biggest out of all of them. Clear Fortune came out with a brown owl, who was the ugliest looking creature he'd ever seen. It had patches of skin revealed from a lack of feathers and only had one eye.
"Oh," Shrub revolted and stepped back, "What a... Lovely owl."
Clear Fortune laughed and held his hand out. "No need for deceit, friend, she is as ugly as a manticore's anus." He laughed as he received the letter from Shrub. The owl grabbed it with its talon and flew off. Shrub almost had a heart attack until Clear Fortune brought the bird down with his magic. "Stubborn girl, here, whisper the address in her ear." The old stallion suggested as he held her out to Shrub Pot. He pinched his nose, in case the owl smelled, and whispered Sawbones’ location. The owl screeched and flew off for a second time, the letter in her talon.
"You sure she'll make it?" Shrub wondered as he watched the owl wobble in the air. Fortune gave a hearty laugh and turned to Shrub.
"No."
Shrub sighed as he sat on a chair in the school's waiting room. Clear Fortune's "encouraging" words left him on edge, but now he had to put on his facade. He got to the school building early, having nothing to do besides wait at the flower shop. Plus, even though he was dedicated to selling drugs, his real passion was teaching. He loved MagiHerbology and wanted others to learn about its wonders. Unfortunately, things can change and instead of pursuing an honest teaching career, he was using his old passion to cover himself.
For whatever reason, being in Ponyville made Shrub question his morality more and more. He always knew that he was the bad guy, the pony that's contributing to the big problem. The Equestrian Drug Administration, despite seemingly ignoring the bad things they were creating, were ultimately doing good for the country. He believed that if some changes were made, the EAD laws could be the perfect fix for the drug problems. As for his dealing, Shrub Pot didn't know if he would stop or not. There use to be this small part of him that loved the thrill of being a dealer. Now, that small part of him became a core aspect of his desires.
Shrub was snapped out of his thoughts when the door to the room creaked open. A mare with a cerise coat entered the room, wearing a simple work shirt and skirt. "Hello, you must be Shrub Pot, correct?" she asked, approaching the stallion. Shrub Pot stood up and straightened his posture.
"Yes, it's going to be a pleasure to work with you." Shrub said. The mare smiled and looked at a clipboard she was holding.
"Okay, my name is Cheerilee, I've been working here for a considerable amount of time. Principal informed me you would be joining us next week to teach a MagiHerbology class. Is this true?" She asked.
"That is correct," Shrub Pot confirmed, "I believe that the study of magical flora is very important. A lot of ponies don't appreciate the benefits that they provide for us. Ponyville, to me, is the perfect place to start and show that MagiHerbology is an important subject."
"That's very admirable, Mr. Pot." Cheerilee beamed at the green stallion. "Part of the reason why I love education so much is meeting these ponies that have such passions. A lot of ponies who work here have the same feeling you do Shrub. Well, while all of this is certainly pleasing, let me escort you to the teachers' lounge." Cheerilee opened the waiting room door and gestured for Shrub Pot to follow. He complied and walked behind Cheerilee to the lounge.
When they entered, Shrub marveled at how... Plain it was. The interior was white, white paint, white desks, and even some white furniture. "Wow, it's very, um, white." Shrub commented as he stared at a white couch. Cheerilee chuckled softly and went over to an empty desk. It was almost identical to the others, the only difference being that the other desks had items on them.
"This is your desk," Cheerilee said as she hovered over an empty desk, "This is where we all grade our papers and formulate our lesson plans. You're allowed to personalize it however you'd like, as long as it's appropriate, of course."
Shrub gave a small smirk and set his gaze on his desk. The closer he was, the more detail he started to pick up on. The desks were actually made of wood, with shelves and rubber stoppers on the bottom. "Who made the desks?" Shrub questioned while following the patterns in the wood.
"That would be Lumber Plank, he's a Craftspony who does many charitable works for the town. A lot of our desks came from him and his shop." The mare explained. She went over to her own desk and pulled out a clipboard with a pile of papers attached. Flipping through a few, she pulled out one from the stack and placed it on top. "We have the list of your class, if you would like to hear it." Cheerilee stated, knowing he would want to know.
"Class?" Shrub said, confused.
"Yes, class, you only have one class throughout the school year. We only had a select few of fillies and colts that wanted to take the class." Shrub sat down at his desk, their desks, located next to each other.
"How many?" He asked with interest.
"One." Cheerilee said as a matter of fact. Shrub's coat nearly turned white from the info. "Now don't freak out, Principal recognized that we needed a class like yours. It was originally intended to have only children who signed up for the course participate. As you can tell, not that many signed up."
"Wait," Shrub interrupted, "Not to be rude, miss, but wasn't, ah, Principal only informed recently about application to teach a MAG course?"
"Actually he was informed a couple months ago, before the school year started. Principal was actually informed about you by his connection before, during casual conversation apparently. He had started working on this, as if he knew that you would come to work here. He's a bit freaky that way." Cheerilee stated with a smile. Shrub, meanwhile, was slightly disturbed.
Not because of Lily talking about him, he painted a perfectly plain caricature of himself. What got him was the principal, this pony who seemed to know more than he let on. If he knew that Shrub would come here, would he know something else. He put it past him and went to a more healthier question to think about. "Who was the student who signed up?" Cheerilee's face brightened from the question.
"Her name is Apple Bloom, a fine student, if I say. She has zeal for potion making, and since MagiFlora are heavily involved in that, she felt it was only logical to sign up. I went to her house to talk about the class and she was absolutely thrilled. Of course, it took me awhile to explain to her guardians that she would be able to achieve in a MAG course."
"Did they understand what the course was?" Shrub wondered, tapping his finger on his desk.
"They did once I explained it to them, it was just confusing since they had the popular belief that MAG courses are usually taken in magic-oriented schools." Cheerilee clarified. "I know a lot of the kids you'll be teaching in your class, I taught them once myself."
"Really?"
"Oh yes, would you like me to go through your class for you, give you some info?" She looked towards Shrub Pot, who nodded his head. "Alright, so to start you off, I'll start with the kids that shouldn't be a problem. You have Sweetie Belle, she's a nice filly, generally gets good grades in her classes. Pip is a colt from Trottingham, excellent student, though a bit shy, so make it a point to engage him. Oh, you also have Twist, she's a character, one of my favorites to be honest."
Once she finished her sentence, the two ponies stared at each other, Shrub wondering if she would go on. "Umm... Is that it, as far as well-meaning students go?" His odds didn't look good.
"I'll be blunt, yes. Scootaloo is well behaved, but that's if she doesn't have any problems with her peers, which she usually has. Rumble, another colt, is more of a sports pony than an academic, the amount of times I've had to wake him... Nevermind that though. Button Mash is also well mannered, yet easily distracted with games. Same with Featherweight, though his distraction is his camera. Snips and Snails, oh those two, they seem hopeless, but give them a chance, they'll pull through.
"Ah, and now I get to your most hazardous obstacle." Cheerilee grimaced, leaving Shrub slightly worried, but what could be so bad about a kid? "Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon," The mare began, now relaxing in her seat as if she was a godfather ordering her soldiers, "There the two biggest troublemakers in this school. Mind you, they use to be MUCH worse, but thankfully some events happened and they've sort of mellowed. However, even then, those two manage to get on the nerves of both their teachers and their peers."
"How bad we talking about?" Shrub asked, turning his body to listen fully.
"Well, Diamond is the main pony to worry about. She's very 'catty' and has this insulting tone to her voice. Silver Spoon just tags along with Diamond, but she has a cruel streak also." Cheerilee said, pinching the bridge of her muzzle.
"Has there never been any form of recourse for their actions?" Shrub Pot asked.
"We've tried, but the two are very protected. Diamond's mother, sometimes her father, believe that her actions are either justified or turn the other cheek. Silver's are the same, but again, the only thing she gets in trouble for is being involved with Diamond's antics." Cheerilee stretched her arms out and yawned, Shrub turned away as to not stare at her "benefits". "I'll apologize on behalf of all of us for any future annoyance those two cause in your class. Please be patient with them, though."
"Of course, kids like them just need to be reminded that they aren't above the rest of the world." Shrub spoke calmly. Cheerilee looked down at the ground and sighed.
"If it only it were that simple."
It was late in the afternoon, but Shrub Pot was still out and about. After his tour of the school and being informed of his class roster, he went and explored the town. The stallion saw many important places, such as the local market. A building that could only be described as "pure diabetes" caught Shrub's attention the most. A lot of ponies came in and out with happy faces, their expressions never changing. He decided to call it a night and return home to the flower shop.
He had gotten some detail on the kids in his class, but he felt it wouldn't do any good. It wasn't like any of the kids would be extremely knowledgeable about where Shrub could go to sell his drug. Besides, growing up in this environment, none of them would even know about illegal drugs to begin with. Although, maybe one of them does know about drugs and would want a fix? 'Unlikely, 'sides, I don't sell to kids.' Shrub thought to himself, his face grimacing at the idea of selling drugs to children. Despite having to give up a considerable amount of ethics when he started dealing drugs, selling to fillies and colts was one thing Shrub would not do.
Shrub Pot approached the front door of the shop and pulled out his keys. He had gotten them yesterday when he was heading out to his interview. Inserting the key and turning it clockwise, Shrub pushed the door open and wiped his brow. "Hello?" he called out as he turned to close the door. His ears picked up quick yet loud taps coming towards him. Once he turned around and blinked, a pink Earth Pony mare stood awfully close. She stared up at him with her large blue eyes, never once blinking. Shrub wanted to say something to her, but with her body pressing all over him, he felt like she was gonna cut him for any little thing he did. Thankfully, Roseluck came from the side, her usual smirk on her muzzle and a bottle in her hand.
"Hey, Pinkie, mind getting off of our new friend here, Lily's losing it in there." She snickered while taking a swig from her bottle, a droplet of amber liquid pouring down her chin.
"NO!" A voice that sounded a lot like Lily's (but clearly wasn't I swear) shouted from the kitchen.
"Okie Dokie!" Pinkie giggled and jumped away, making her dark pink mane bounce, amongst other parts. Shrub got a good look at the mare who had near assaulted him when he entered his new home. As noted before, she was an Earth Pony with a pink coat and a darker pink mane. The mane was very curly and reached down to the mare's upper part of her back. She wore a blue shirt with a balloon design on the front and back. She also wore some beige shorts and had black socks that just came up to her shins. The mare was very appealing to the eye, having quite the curve in her body yet maintaining some plumpness.
Shrub Pot cleared his throat and adjusted his collar, not trying to be bewildered. "Um, hello, my name is-"
"Shrub Pot?" Pinkie questioned. Shrub had his mouth open and just blinked a couple of times.
"H-How did you-"
"I talked to the flower trio, had some time off from Sugarcube Corner. I know your name, height, weight, age, date of birth, home territory, occupation, favorite flower-" The mare went on and on about things she suddenly knew about the green stallion. Shrub tried paying attention to every detail, but could hardly follow as the mare went on faster and faster. Roseluck the whole time was snorting with laughter at Shrub's predicament, his muddled face being the highlight of her night.
"OH!" Pinkie stopped, her mane standing up on edge. "How could I forget!" She cried as she pulled out a card from... Her mane. Shrub Pot caught the card as Pinkie tossed it at him. With hesitation, he opened the card and shut his eyes as a small bundle of confetti launched as his face. After wiping his eyes clear from the confetti, Shrub looked at the card as it read:
You are hereby invited to your own Welcome Party!
"So you'll come, right‽" Pinkie squealed as she eyeballed the stallion. Shrub looked to the small mare and nodded slowly out of fear. The pink mare jumped for joy and hugged Shrub Pot quickly. "Okay, now I have to go, bye bye!" Pinkie exclaimed loudly and slipped out the door. Shrub stood still, pondering his very existence. Alongside that, he was also slightly worried about that mare's knowledge. She had rattled off facts about him like she had knew him for years. Could she have possibly known about his drug life as well?
The other two members of the flower trio showed up and Lily put a hand on Shrub's shoulder. "W-Who was that pony?" Shrub asked, his body as stiff as a board.
"That was Pinkie Pie," Roseluck spoke, "our town's party planning pony. She's also an element of harmony and a hero of Equestria. That mare always has parties for new residents of the town."
"She's the best!" Daisy cheered while flopping herself on the couch. "She threw us the greatest party, I had a tummy ache for three days!"
"That's not a good thing." Lily told Daisy, her hand still on Shrub's shoulder.
"Hey," Roseluck approached Shrub Pot, "You need to take the stress off?" She waved her bottle in front of his face.
"Is that... Is that liquor?" Shrub asked as he directed his attention to the bottle.
"Yeah, what, you some kind of a prude, Romeo?"
"... No, I need a shot!"
