“Your cock~” Starlight said in a husky voice as she went to work on Spike’s pants.

“H-Hold on, Starlight! Are you sure you want to do...this?” Spike asked nervously as she pressed her curvaceous body into his.

“Oh yes, Spike, I really do. I should think you would know this by now. After all the flirting and innuendoes, I think it’s finally time we stopped talking the talk and started walking the walk,” she replied. And with that, Starlight began taking off her shirt in a sort of striptease, fully revealing her bra-clad chest to the stunned young man. Her perky, double-D cupped breasts bounced as the shirt came off.

Spike was at a loss of words. It was embarrassing for him to admit, but he was still a virgin. Everything he knew about sex had come from his experiences in the Dream Realm during his training period as a monster hunter. (Meeting in the Dream Realm was the only way Princess Luna could properly train him without alerting Princess Celestia or Twilight.) Though Princess Luna would often allow him to accompany her during her dream-walking duties back then, she would not permit him to observe her subjects’ more perverted fantasies. So Spike had to patiently wait for opportunities to watch when she wasn’t looking, which admittedly were too few and far between for his liking. But this was no dream. This was all too real, and it was happening to him.

It’s not that he didn’t want to do it, but it was just so sudden, and he would have preferred to have some time to prepare himself, mentally or otherwise. Still, it seemed he no longer had a choice in the matter, not if he wanted to keep his night activities a secret. He was about to reside himself to his sexy fate, when he and Starlight heard an abrupt ringing sound.

“What is that sound?” Starlight asked.

Shocked (and slightly frustrated) by the sudden interruption, Starlight looked around Spike’s room until she located the source of the noise. Hanging on a nearby wall was a clock that she was sure hadn’t been there before. The clock appeared to be signaling a countdown of ten minutes. Starlight, having no idea what the countdown meant, looked curiously at the clock and pondered it’s significance. Spike, on the other hand, knew exactly what it meant and was promptly snapped out of the daze brought about by Starlight’s advances.

“Oh man, it’s almost time for work!” Spike yelled as he slipped away from underneath the seductive woman. As he stepped away from the bed, a mixed wave of relief and disappointment washed over him.

“What?! You have to go now? Dammit, and I was so close,” Starlight said in disappointment. However, despite the sudden interruption, she held a determined look in her eyes. She wasn’t going to let Spike off that easy.

“Yeah, sorry about that Stary, but it looks like this will have to wait until another time. I got monsters to kill,” Spike chuckled sheepishly. The young monster hunter was quickly sorting through his personal armory, putting away any unnecessary gear while throwing what he would need for the night into a small pile on the ground.

“Oh, it’s not over yet. What time are you gonna be back?” Starlight asked.

“Uh, well, it depends on how much work I’ve got to do and how fast my bike gets here. But I should be back around 5 AM,” Spike answered.

“Good. That should be enough time.”

“Time for what?”

“Don’t play dumb, Spike,” Starlight said with narrowed eyes. “I still want something in return for not telling anyone about your little night job. So tomorrow, after you get back from a hard night of work, we’ll pick up right where we left off,” she said as she draped her arms around his neck.

“Oh....uh, yeah. Sounds like a good idea. I’ll be there,” Spike said, sporting a genuinely excited smile on his face. Having an entire night to mentally prepare himself and not seem like some scared virgin made him feel a lot better.

“Great. I’ll be waiting lover.” Starlight leaned in to give her soon-to-be-lover a kiss, one which Spike was more than willing to receive. Unfortunately, they were interrupted once again, this time by an abruptly opening door.

“Spike, are you in here?” a familiar, yet nervous voice called out as the door opened. Stepping through the doorway was Twilight in a purple bathrobe and matching slippers with a magazine clutched in her hand. “I wanted to have a private...moment....with.....you?” she said bewilderedly as she came upon the sight of a topless Starlight draping her arms around Spike’s neck while their faces were inches apart.

“Um...hey, Twi. What’s up?” Spike asked nervously as a cold sweat ran down his face.

“What’s up? I find you and Starlight in each other’s arms, and you have the gall to ask me what’s up?! How about you tell me what’s up!” Twilight said, crossing her arms over her chest as she glared at her number one assistant. The serious tone in her voice that brooked no argument made Spike tremble in fear.

“Well, you see...I, uh...”

“I believe Spike asked you first, Twilight. And I believe he deserves an answer considering you’re in nothing but a bathrobe right now. Not to mention you’re holding that women’s magazine I saw you reading pretty tightly. Did you come here with some naughty ideas in mind, Twilight?” Starlight asked, arching an eyebrow at her teacher’s appearance and demeanor.

“Oh! Uh, well...I...I was...getting a bar of soap from Spike’s bathroom! Yeah, that’s it! The shower near my room is all out of soap, so I came her to get some!” Twilight replied quickly.

“Oh? Well then, I’m sure you wouldn’t mind if I read that page of the magazine you bookmarked, would you?” Starlight asked as she walked towards Twilight with an extended hand.

“Um...I’d love to, but you see...I’m already heading back.” Twilight said anxiously, stepping backwards towards the door. “I really need that shower, so...I got to go.” Twilight swiftly ran out the door and out of sight.

“Wow. That could have ended horribly,” Spike commented.

“I know, right? Thankfully, I’ve been in similar situations before. It’s all about going on the offensive,” Starlight said as she put her shirt back on. “Well, I suppose I should go before Twilight realizes she’s been bamboozled. See you soon, Spike.” Starlight said as she took her leave. However, Spike stopped her before she got too far, grasping her shoulder with a firm, yet gentle, grip.

“Hang on, Starlight. Before you go, I gotta ask. How did you find my armory? It’s equipped with a pin lock to avoid accidental exposure...not that it did any good, apparently.”

“Oh. Well, I actually got lost looking for the bathroom and ended up in here. We really need to consider labelling the rooms around here. Anyways, when I realized I was in your room, I thought I could just use your private bathroom and just leave. And I did, or at least tried to do. After I finished using your bathroom, I was on my way out when I slipped and dropped my cellphone underneath your closet. I tried to use magic to lift up your closet and get my phone, but it wouldn’t budge. So I just used more and more magic power until I heard something snap. It turned out to be the wires connecting your armory to the wall. Once it was disconnected from the power, the doors just opened up on their own. I noticed all the weapons held within, and well...the rest is history,” Starlight finished.

“Hmmm, I see. Well, I’ll have Princess Luna send someone to repair it while everyone’s asleep.”

“Cool. By the way, what are you gonna tell Twilight to explain where you’ve gone? It’s far too early to go to sleep, even for you. And she’ll grow suspicious if she suddenly finds you missing.”

“I’ll tell her that I’m going to hang out with Big Mac and Discord. Every now and again, the three of us have this guy’s night out thing that we do. I just don’t do it as often because of the night job.”

“Awwwww! A guy’s night out. Isn’t that adorable,” Starlight said, holding back a giggle.

“Yeah, yeah. Look, I got to get ready, so could you go, please?” Spike asked as the timer continued to count down.

“Alright then, Spike. See you later~” Starlight winked as she took her leave, distinctly swaying her hips as she left the room.

“Right then. Now it’s time to get ready to teach those goblins why Equestria is off limits.”

Canterlot

About an hour has passed since Spike’s discussion with Starlight. Since then, he had left the castle and Ponyville, making his way up to Canterlot on bike. He currently stood before Princess Luna, awaiting details on tonight’s assignment.

“Well Spike, I hope you’re fully prepared because you have to move quickly tonight. Our intel shows that the goblins have plans to rob an armored truck on its way to Fillydelphia, as well as a warehouse full of recently mined gold and silver, Princess Luna stated.”

“Damn, these guys make Dragonbloods look generous with the amounts of money they steal. Do you know if they have guns or not?” Spike inquired.

“They do not possess guns right now, but they will very soon. Apparently, they’ll be receiving another shipment of guns and ammunition tonight.”

“Will the pirates be there?” Spike asked excitedly.

“No, they won’t. This is merely a delivery as the guns have already been paid for. I also have reason to believe that some of the more high ranking goblins of the Rough Clan will be there to oversee the delivery.”

“Ah, so this is the perfect time to target and cut off the head of the snake.”

“Precisely. But make sure you leave at least one of them alive. I’ll need to interrogate them to find out where the hobgoblin is so we can put an end to this once and for all.”

“Right, good call. But just so you know, I’ll be using that weapon you called me out for on the ship coming into port,” Spike said.

“Well, as much as I would like to dissuade you from using it due to the amount of damage it can deal, I believe in this case, your decision is the correct one. We must ensure that the firearms are reduced to rubble, so you have my authorization to use it.”

“Good. So, where do I start?”

“The armored truck carrying the hundreds of thousands of bits is first on their hit list, so you’ll be going there to start.”

“Alright, cool,” Spike said, mounting his bike and getting ready to be teleported to the location.

“Spike, it goes without saying, but try to keep the drivers alive and the truck as intact as possible.”

“You got it.”

“And please, be careful....”

Miles away from Fillydelphia

An arguably great distance away from Fillydelphia, a lone armored vehicle made its way along the lonely path of the highway leading to its destination. Inside, two men wearing grey security guard uniforms stood watch over hundreds of thousands of bits. They were responsible for ensuring the safe delivery of the money to their destination, the Bank of Fillydelphia. The one in the passenger seat was a young man with an enchanted club strapped to his belt. It wasn’t a lethal weapon, but more of a suppression weapon. The worst it could do is temporarily stun an assailant should the need ever arise.

The one in the driver’s seat–a considerably older man than his fellow guard–looked over to his partner. After a long boring drive, he was barely awake and decided that there was no point in keeping silent. Thankfully, he wouldn’t have to be the one to start a conversation as his partner decided to try and break the silence himself.

“Man, this is boring. How do deal with this boredom for so long, Grey Beard?” the young newbie asked the much older, seasoned security guard.

“Well Green Horn, I suppose I never really felt bored on these long trips. Personally, I always enjoyed the peace and quiet of these long treks. Sure I missed spending time with my family, but when you got three rambunctious kids to care for, you learn to treasure these moments of tranquility. That, and I always had a good friend me...” Grey Beard replied, his tone growing more wistful towards the end. He tried to quickly shake it off before his partner noticed, but Green Horn caught the pained look in his elder’s eyes, and a knowing grimace donned his face.

“Yeah, I heard about that. Sorry about what happened to your old partner. You and him were pretty close, huh?”

“That’s right, we were the best of friends. We both joined the Royal Guard together, and we even fought in a few battles against the changelings. Hell, we even spent time together after getting injured in one of those battles.”

“You two got hurt?”

“Yes sir, we sure did,” Grey Beard replied, staring at the road ahead with a look of nostalgia. “We spent weeks in the medical tent, nursing our wounds. When we finally got out, our wives convinced us to leave the guard because of how worried they were for our safety. We were honorably discharged and took jobs as armored car drivers. We spent years driving all over Equestria, from Las Pegasus to Manehatten. Now that I think about it, you remind me of him when we first started: arrogant, brash, and full of energy.”

“Huh....well, I guess I can understand why these long drives wouldn’t bother you. Still, I wish something exciting would happen.”

“He spent 50 years saying that, and I’ll tell you the same thing I spent 50 years telling him...be careful what you wish for...”

“...or I just might get it. Yeah, yeah, I’ve spent the better half of my high school years hearing that phrase from my parents and teachers,” Green Horn replied with a roll of his eyes. “And you know what? I still haven’t gotten what I asked for yet.”

“......Looks like that’s about to change. Look ahead,” the older man said as he pointed a wrinkled finger toward a dark figure laying on the ground on the road ahead.

“What is that? A deer?” the younger man asked.

“I doubt it. It looks human.”

“Well whatever it is, it’s in our way. Let’s get it off the road. We don’t want to arrive late,” Green Horn said as the truck came to a complete stop. As he left the vehicle, he unstrapped his club and placed in in his seat, not wanting it to burden him if he had to move the object. He slowly walked towards the mysterious object, keeping his eyes peeled for any sudden movements. As he neared it, he saw that whatever it was, it was breathing ever so lightly. So it was still alive at least.

“Hey. You okay, pal?” he asked moving forward.

“Hey! Is it an animal, or what?!” Gray Beard asked from the truck.

“Nah!” Green Horn called back. “I think our friend here just had a little too much to drink!”

“Well, get him out of the way or we’ll be late! Trust me, after all these years, I’d rather not experience that again! Not at my age!”

“Alright then, buddy. Let’s go. Move it along. I don’t want to hurt you,” Green said, pushing the seemingly limp body to the side. However, his movements froze when he rolled the prone body onto its back and got a look at its face...its green face. The young man stumbled backwards in shock, but then yelled in horror as its eyes suddenly opened and it displayed its needle like teeth in a grin.

“That’s my line,” it said in an icy tone.

“Grey Beard, get the club! This thing is-what the hell?!” Green screamed as five goblins came sprinting out of the trees on the left side of the highway. He turned around to run for the truck, but was stopped dead in his tracks when he felt something grab him from behind. He turned his head over his shoulder, only to find he was being held in place by a goblin twice his size. He was going to warn Gray Beard to take the truck and drive off, but to his great surprise, the old man had already exited the truck with the club in hand. Before Green’s very eyes, the spry old man smacked the goblin behemoth on the back of his head, knocking him out cold.

“Damn, old man. Not bad,” Green said impressed.

“I still got it-ahhhhhh!” Gray screamed as a goblin drove a blade into his back, cutting short his moment of glory.

“Grey Beard! NO!” Green screamed. He attempted to move toward his wounded partner, but was caught and held in place by the other goblins before he could even move a single step.

“Your friend there is pretty tough for an old geezer. Too bad. Even the toughest guys can’t survive a stab in the back,” the goblin who stabbed Gray Beard icily sneered.

“You bastards, you’re gonna get what’s coming to you!” he yelled, struggling to break free of the goblins’ grasp, though ultimately failing.

“Yeah? Well, not before we get all the gold in that truck, dead man,” the goblin replied, putting the knife to Green’s neck and preparing to slit his throat.

Suddenly, the loud roar of a combustion engine resounded across the night sky, staying the goblin’s hand and freezing everyone in their tracks. All the goblins looked around, searching for the cause of the sound. Without warning, the knife-wielding goblin was struck in the back of the head by something small moving at an incredible speed. The goblin fell lifelessly to the ground, his bloody weapon clattering as it dropped onto the road.

The other goblins reacted by releasing Green Horn and backing off, looking frantically around for any signs of their attacker. One by one, all the goblins got shot dead, unable to locate their attacker even until their dying breath. Only the young security guard remained standing, but he was gripped with fear as he expected the next bullet to hit him. He looked around fearfully, that is until he remembered that his partner was still down. Then he rushed over to help him without any thoughts to his own safety.

“Grey Beard, are you alright?” he asked, but got no response other than a groan of pain. Green Horn sighed in relief. He was thankfully still alive. Injured and bleeding heavily, but still very much alive.

“He’s gonna die, and so are you!” shouted an angry voice. The giant goblin that Gray Beard had knocked out earlier had suddenly woke up from his unconscious state. The sight of his comrades lying on the ground dead had thoroughly enraged the green behemoth. He picked up the enchanted club and glared hatefully at Green Horn. As the only person left within the goblin’s view, the young security guard was the only outlet left for the monster to unleash his fury upon.

However, the green goliath hadn’t managed to take two steps before he suddenly froze in place. A twisted expression of pain took over his face before he eventually untwisted as he fell down dead. There, standing behind the dead goblin, was its killer, a young man with spiky green hair holding a pistol equipped with a suppressor.

“Hey, are you alright?” Spike asked Green Horn.

“Yeah, I am! But it’s my friend that needs help! He’s been stabbed!”

“Dammit! I didn’t get here fast enough, dammit!” Spike cursed himself for his failure. “Okay, stay calm and listen. Take your shirt off and tie it around his waste so he doesn’t bleed out,” he ordered. Green Horn complied with his order and had his shirt wrapped around Gray Beard within seconds. After confirming that the shirt was tied tight, Spike and Green Horn gently lifted Gray Beard off the ground, carried him towards the armored truck, and carefully placed him in the passenger’s seat.

“Good. Now drive as fast as you can to the nearest hospital,” Spike instructed.

“Thank you so much, man! You’re a real hero. Who are you, anyway?” Green Horn asked as he got in the driver’s seat.

“I’m just a guy trying to do his job. Now go before it’s too late!” Spike ordered as the young man drove off to the nearest hospital he could find.

Suddenly, Spike’s cellphone began ringing off the hook, alarming the young monster hunter for a moment. He pulled it out of his pocket and found it was Luna calling him.

“Luna, I was just about to call you to open the portal to the warehouse. Has something happened?”

“Spike, I’m afraid there has been a severe change of plans. The robbery at the warehouse has already taken place! The Rough Clan are currently driving the stolen goods in an 18-wheeler truck down a highway not too far from your current position. You have to move now if you want to catch up to them, but be careful. It’s being guarded by other vehicles,” Luna informed.

“Bloody Hell! I’ve got to move,” Spike said, running to his bike parked on the side of the road. He took off like a shot, barreling down the road towards the next highway. He was driving with one hand as the other one still held his cellphone while he continued his conversation with Princess Luna.

“One more thing, Spike,” Luna continued. “It’s possible that these goblins have firearms.”

“Machine guns?”

“Doubtful. It is more likely that they only have a few handguns, but be ready for anything,” she warned him.

“You got it,” Spike replied, speeding off and putting his phone away. About ten minutes later, Spike saw the tail lights of an 18-wheeler truck dead ahead of him. It was surrounded on both sides by four smaller, sleek, black cars, two on each side.

“Alright, that’s probably it,” Spike muttered as he attempted to stealthily approach the truck, hoping to avoid alerting the drivers of his presence. As he neared the back of the 18-wheeler, he noticed the iron doors of the truck’s trailer was visibly locked up tight with a padlock, no doubt a precautionary measure to protect the stolen loot held within.

“Hmmm. Looks like I first have to break that padlock. Fortunately, I got just the thing to do it,” Spike said, pulling out his pistol with the attached suppressor. Spike slowly and carefully took aim. He needed to make sure that he hit the lock with the first shot, or else the goblins would be alerted by the sound of the bullet hitting the back of the truck. This was considerably hard due to the size of the lock, not to mention that the lock would shake and bounce slightly every time the truck hit a bump or pothole on the road. And to make matters worse, it was the middle of the night, so Spike had trouble seeing it as well.

“I have to make this shot count,” Spike said as he steadied his aim before finally pulling the trigger. Thankfully, he hit the lock with pinpoint accuracy, successfully breaking it and causing it to fall to the road in pieces. With the lock no longer present, the iron doors flew wide open, causing Spike to inwardly break into a victory dance. However, is sudden jubilation was instantly shattered once he got a good look inside the truck. Instead of the crate full of precious metals that he was expecting, Spike saw something that made him break out into a cold sweat. Standing in the now open doorway was a goblin bearing the toothiest grin he had ever seen in his life. The reason for his wide smile–and Spike freezing up in fear–was because there was a .50 caliber heavy machine gun mounted at the back end of the trailer, aimed directly at Spike’s panicked face, and ready to fire.

“There’s nothing like the look on someone’s face right before they die!” the goblin crowed, delighted at the sight of Spike’s shocked face. Spike managed to regain control of himself just as the goblin was about to fire. With a storm of bullets about to be unleashed upon him, the young monster hunter only had one thing to say...

“OH, FUCK ME!!!”

“Huh?” Starlight said, turning around to look out the window for a second. She didn’t know why, but she had suddenly gotten a strange feeling to say something lewd. After a few seconds, she simply shrugged it off and put it out of her mind. She went back to cleaning up her womb, preparing for her early morning rendezvous with Spike. She hoped the young monster hunter would hurry and come home soon.

“Hope you like hot lead, boy!” the goblin yelled as he opened fire on Spike.

Spike veered his motorbike to the left, simultaneously dodging the shots aimed at his head and moving out of the machine gun’s line of fire. However, that only kept him safe for a second before the goblins in the escort cars on the left noticed him, popped open their trunks, and let loose a hail of small knives and blades that made a beeline for Spike’s face. Spike swerved his head, barely avoiding the numerous blades from carving up his face. Unfortunately, he wasn’t quick enough to avoid one knife from grazing his face, leaving a small scar while warm, liquid crimson ran down his cheek.

’That’s gonna leave a mark,’ Spike thought, quickly wiping away the blood while ignoring the stinging sensation from the cut. Spike wracked his brain, trying to quickly come up with a plan before the cars ahead launched another barrage of blades. He pulled out his pistol once more and targeted the wheels of the cars. He pulled the trigger, hoping to puncture the tires and send the cars careening off the road, but....

*Click* *Click* *Click*

“Dammit! Of all the times I had to run out of ammo!” Spike cursed as he put away the empty gun and pulled out his spare. But by then the cars began to let loose another barrage of blades. These blades, however, had a noticeable red glow about them. “Oh boy, here we go again!” Spike yelled as he maneuvered away from the storm of knives to avoid another unsavory cut to the face. However, as soon as he had avoided them, Spike briefly looked over his shoulder and noticed that the cluster of blades had turned around in midair and were returning to strike at him a second time.

“Holy guacamole! Those things are enchanted!” Spike realized as he observed the red glow. As they came back even faster than before, Spike knew there was no way he could avoid them all. He only had one option. Spike jumped off his bike a split second before the blades embedded themselves into his motorcycle. He landed on the top of the truck’s trailer and watched as his beloved bike fell apart onto the side of the road. “OH. COME. ON!!! How many times is my bike gonna get destroyed this month!” Spike yelled in rage as he directed his attention to the escort cars.

Spike got up and walked forward being careful not to get blown off the truck by the wind. He reached into his trench coat pockets, searching for something that could help him take out the vehicles. After a few seconds, his search ended as he pulled out two sunlight grenades. Spike usually reserved these for monsters that were weak to the light of Celestia’s sun, but the young monster hunter knew that, in this case, they could double as a makeshift flash grenade. He steadily made his way towards the left side edge of the trailer and threw a grenade into the lead car via the open rooftop window.

Spike paused in his movements, waiting with anticipation for the show to begin. He didn’t have to wait long. First, he heard the panicked shouts of the goblins in the car as they freaked out from the sudden appearance of the explosive device. The shouts didn’t last long before the bomb went off, blinding everyone in the vehicle, including the driver. Spike chuckled as he watched the blind driver lose control of the car, fall back, and ram into the car behind him, causing them both to crash.

With the left side taken care of, Spike moved to right side of the trailer, resolving himself to dispense with the remaining two escort cars in similar fashion. After successfully neutralizing the last two cars with his second grenade, the only task he had left was to somehow take control of the truck itself. He walked towards the front of the trailer until he could see the truck itself. Spike could hear the voices of the truck’s passengers, and judging from their frantic speech patterns, they had noticed that their escort had been taken out and were panicking as a result. The spiky-haired youth leapt from the trailer and landed on the driver’s side of the truck. He bent down and looked into the side window of the vehicle, startling its three occupants.

“Oh shit! There he is!” the driving goblin cursed upon the sight of the monster hunter.

“Oh shit! There he is? Interesting choice of last words, though, admittedly, not the worst I’ve heard,” Spike said, staring the driver dead in the eye before reaching in and pulling him through the window by his shirt collar. Spike effortlessly tossed the goblin into the nearby woods, then slipped in through the window and took the goblin’s place at the wheel. He took control of the wheel with one hand while his other hand aimed his pistol at the two remaining goblins. “Hey guys, how’s it going?” he asked casually.

“....”
“....”

“Yeah, my night hasn’t been going so well either. You see, I thought you guys had all those stolen goods you lifted from the warehouse. But apparently, all you had waiting for me was a guy with a .50 caliber machine gun ready to turn me into a grass stain,” Spike said, glancing at them. “Speaking of whom, could you call him up here?” Spike gestured to the sliding view window placed at the back of the truck.

“Uh...Crunch?! Get over hear! We, uh...we’ve got to talk to you!” the goblin yelled into the foot wide window, calling his goblin collaborator.

“Where did the Master Drake go?” Crunch asked, looking through the small window at his apparently scared comrades.

“Hope you like hot lead, boy,” Spike said, doing his best impression of Crunch.

“Huh?”

*Bang!*

With that, the goblin formerly known as "Crunch" dropped dead in the back of the truck. The other two trembled as they now learned what the inside of a goblin’s head looked like.

“Alright. So, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way...I think it’s time the three of us had a chat. Now boys, I’m gonna need to know where the stolen goods are, and don’t lie to me, or you’ll put me in an even worse mood than I am now,” Spike said.

“What’s the point? You’ll just kill us, anyway,” the goblin closest to the window said, hiding behind his buddy.

“Alright, I’ll tell you what; I give you my word I won’t kill you if you tell me, drake’s honor. But if you don’t, I still won’t kill you.”

“Really?” the other goblin asked.

“Yeah. Instead, I’ll make you wish I’d kill you,” Spike said in a sinister tone.

“Alright, alright, we’ll tell you! Just keep you word,” the goblin by the window said hurriedly.

“Don’t worry, I will.”

“Alright, listen. The metals have already been transported to the lair of our boss.”

“The hobgoblin?”

“Yeah, the boss. Also, we knew that you’d come for us, so the boss set up this trap to try and end you. But....”

“Yeah, I got it. So where is your boss hiding?”

“In a cave less than a mile away from some hick town called Ponyville.”

*SCREEEEEEEEECH!!!!!!!*

The sound of the truck coming to a complete and sudden stop rang out for miles, scaring birds out of their nests in the trees. An eerie silenced soon followed that seemed to stretch on forever. Then, Spike spoke again.

“Could you repeat that?” Spike asked quietly, staring straight ahead.

“L-Less than a mile away f-f-from a town called P-Ponyville,” the goblin repeated nervously, sensing that Spike’s mood could go from calm to hostile in a second.

“I see......well, I think it’s time we ended this little joyride of ours, don’t you?” Spike asked as he opened the door and hopped out of the truck. He walked a few yards away before he took out his trusty gun–lovingly named "Barb"–and aimed it at the window of the truck.

“Hey! You said you wouldn’t kill us, remember!” one of the goblins yelled, fearful at the sight of the revolver that seemed to be on steroids.

*Bang!* *Bang!* *Bang!*

The sound of the shots going off broke the silence that was once present. Then, yet again, all that remained was the silence of the night around them. The two goblins looked up from their ducking position to see the windshield had been completely shattered. Seconds later, they noticed there was something off about the balance of the truck. They both got out and immediately noticed that the front tires had been completely flattened.

“I wouldn’t get out of the truck if I were you,” Spike said, putting Barb away.

“Huh?” the two monsters said in unison as they saw Spike walking off into the night.

“Sorry, I had to make sure that you two couldn’t get to your buddies, so I figured I’d just wreck your truck and strand you here.”

“You...You’re really not gonna kill us?” they asked, speaking in unison once more. Spike stopped and turned around to face them.

“Of course not. I am a man of my word, so I won’t kill you. The timberwolves, on the other hand, probably won’t be in the mood to cut a deal with you, so....like I said, stay in the truck,” Spike warned as a portal bearing Luna’s magic signature opened behind him. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a boat to catch. To catch on fire, that is,” Spike said, walking through the portal to his next destination.

Even after his departure, the two goblins continued to stare in awe at the spot where the young monster hunter disappeared. A cocktail of emotions ran through them: grief over their fallen comrades, confusion at their current predicament, relief that they had somehow survived the entire ordeal, and surprise that the spiky-haired monster hunter kept his word. However, their silent rumination was broken once they remembered his parting words.

“Did he say something about timberwolves?” one goblin asked before a timely howl sent them scurrying back into the safety of the broken down truck.

Somewhere Amongst the Docks of the North Celestial Sea

A state of tranquility was in the air....but not the kind of tranquility that one would welcome. The wind was silent and the sea was still, almost as if the ocean and winds themselves knew what was happening and refused to play witness to the transpiring events. Just then, a large, grayish vessel eased its way into the docks, causing the waters to ripple as it settled into the station. Its occupants emerged from the bowels of the ship to meet a small greeting party awaiting on the docks.

The greeting party consisted of a group of about seven goblins. These goblins, however, were different from their rag wearing subordinates. As they walked out of a nearby two-story building, you’d notice that they all wore suits and ties, like business executives going to a board meeting. One of them was also a great deal fatter than his fellows. As the crew of the aptly named "S.S. Scumbag" made its way off the craft and onto the docks, the well dressed goblins approached them with a serious look before speaking to them.

“Did you get the goods?” one of the well dressed goblins asked.

“Of course we did. We picked up every last gun they had waiting for us,” one of the ship’s crew responded.

“They didn’t give you much trouble, did they? Our suppliers are the shifty type after all.”

“Well, they did rock the boat a bit during the delivery, but not really anything worth mentioning.”

“Then let’s see what you got for us!” the fat goblin demanded.

“Alright, come aboard then,” replied one of the ship’s goblin crewmembers, motioning for them to get on the boat.

Both groups of goblins climbed aboard the ship, the ship’s crew leading the well dressed goblins towards the poop deck, where all the crates of firearms and ammunition were waiting. The goblin captain popped the first crate open with a crowbar, revealing a stash of submachine guns and ammo. There was enough in this one box alone to make some want to cry tears of joy.

“Excellent! With these, we’ll make Equestria our playground and finally be rid of that nuisance, Master Drake,” one of the suit-clad goblins declared, prematurely claiming victory at the sight of the guns. Most of his cohorts nodded and laughed, agreeing with his sentiment. Only the fat goblin failed to produce a smile on his face. In fact, his countenance seemed even more troubled than before he got on the ship.

“Something wrong, Biggs?” one of the goblins asked the fat goblin, noticing that his chubby commanding officer wasn’t really paying attention to their big haul.

“Something ain’t right,” he replied, looking off the side of the boat toward a nearby cliff.

“Wadda ya mean?” another goblin asked.

“My instincts are telling me we should be runni-” the fat goblin known as "Biggs" stopped dead in his tracks, looking down at his extended stomach only to see a red dot had made its way onto it. He looked up to try and locate the source of it and saw none other than the Master Drake himself, aiming a loaded bazooka at him. Master Drake apparently realized he had been discovered and threw Biggs a friendly wave.

“OH HELL NO!” Biggs yelled before running off the boat at a speed that would have impress Rainbow Dash.

Back on the cliff, Spike observed as the goblin frantically pushed away all his subordinates, who were ignorant to the threat just outside their field of vision.

“Wow. He sure can move when he really wants to,” Spike muttered to himself before firing off the missile directly at the boat. The goblins wondered what had their commanding officer running off like a bat out of hell. By the time they realized what was happening, it was too late to stop it. The missile hit the deck of the ship, absolutely annihilating it.

*BOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!*

Biggs had just made it off the boat right before it exploded, but not without getting slightly caught up in the blast from being thrown forward from the force of the explosion. He fell flat on his bloated stomach; pain gripped all over his body as he tried to get up. He looked behind him to see that the boat’s cargo and passengers had been completely destroyed. Then, as the sounds of ammunition and petroleum exploding died down, he heard something else...the sound of footsteps approaching him. He looked up to see his worst nightmare moving towards him. Master Drake was coming for him, and with his subordinates now reduced to a pile of ash and charcoal, he was all on his own. The fires that burned behind the trembling goblin were nothing compared to the fire in the approaching Dragonblood’s eyes. The emerald orbs seemed to reveal a desperate desire to bring about the destruction of the green-skinned monster’s entire kind.

“S-Stay back! I’m warning you!” Biggs shouted, dragging himself backwards until he was on the edge of the dock.

“Warning me? Ha! I’m the one with the unburnt guns, fatty,” Spike said, slowly approaching the goblin. “So you’re the fat cat of this goblin trade. You must be ranked pretty high up to be put in charge of exchange like this, huh?” he asked.

“Yeah! I’m second-in-command, so you better watch who your messing with you stupid bag of-”

“Ah, ah, ah~” Spike cooed, shaking a finger at the pudgy monster. “Manners, fatty. I don’t care who you are. To me, you’re just another goblin to roll over. But, as the second-in-command, you must know quite a bit about your boss’ hideout,” Spike guessed.

“I won’t tell you anything! So you’re just wasting your time with me, you dumb fuck!”

“Oh, I already know the whereabouts of your boss’ hideout. I was actually planning to take my friend "Barb" here and splatter the inside of your head against these boards. But, here’s the thing. Turns out that there are some crucial details that I need before I pay your boss a visit, and they just so happen to be in that noggin of yours. So, I’m gonna do the smart thing and get you to talk before I bring an end to this goblin saga.”

“You’re never gonna get me to talk.”

“You know something? For once, you’re right. I’m not the one who’s gonna get you to talk, but I promise that you’re gonna wish it was when she starts,” Spike chuckled.

“Hmph. We’ll see about that.”

“Aw, just go to sleep, fatty,” Spike said, raising his gun before pistol-whipping him directly against his temple, instantly knocking him out cold. “*Sigh* Now I got to drag your sorry but back with me to Canterlot. Fantastic,” Spike grumbled as he waited for Luna to open a portal back to Canterlot. The sooner he took his new chubby friend to Luna, the sooner she could start interrogating him and the sooner he could get some rest. By the look of it, he still had about another two hours before sunrise. Although for some reason, he couldn’t help but feel like he was forgetting something.......

Thirty Minutes Later...

“Now I remember!” Spike exclaimed, making his way through the halls of the Castle of Friendship. He couldn’t believe it. He had forgotten that when he got home, there would be a lovely woman waiting for him in bed. “Alright Spike, it’s nothing to be nervous about. If you can face monsters that could scare even the bravest of men out of their wits, then you can deal with a woman, too,” Spike muttered to himself, psyching himself up as he made his way towards Starlight’s room.

At first, Spike thought that maybe she had forgotten about their salacious rendezvous, and fallen asleep. Considering the current time, he honestly wouldn’t have blamed her. However, those thoughts died as he reached the door to Starlight’s room. It was slightly ajar, and a flickering orange light spilled out from the slim opening, almost like an invitation.

An invitation Spike readily accepted as he walked through the door to a sight that made his jaw drop. Now over the years, it was safe to say that Spike had built up quite the dislike for the beasts he hunted. Their sharp fangs, furry bodies, predatory eyes, and usually grotesque bodies were all features that Spike absolutely abhorred of the monsters he hunted. Now however......

“Starlight?!” Spike near screamed as he beheld the beauty on the bed. She was looking very sensual, alright. And the weird part is she was dressed like a monster, a catwoman to be precise. Her fangs seemed so alluring, poking out from her lush lips curved in a lascivious grin. Her furry bra and panties, partnered with those adorable fake ears and tail, made Spike want to pet her. Her eyes were lit with hunger, but a hunger that Spike would be more than happy to satisfy. And her body...good lord her body was like something out of an adult magazine.

“Welcome back, Spikey~ I hope you’re not too tired from work. You have one more monster that needs to be dealt with,” she said in a tone that made Spike shiver.

“Oh, I’m always ready to put a monster in her place, though I can’t say I’ve ever met a monster as lovely as you,” Spike said as his eyes eagerly traced the curves of her hourglass figure. Starlight was currently laying with her belly faced down on the bed, and curiously, the cat tail was wagging.

“Well I hope you don’t think flattery will get you out of a struggle. This cat has got claws,” she quipped, getting into a pouncing position as she raised her hips in the air.

“Well, how about we stop talking and start acting, huh?” Spike replied, removing his trench coat and tossing it to the floor as he casually strolled toward the bed. Starlight was taken by surprise by Spike’s ability to play along so well. She expected him to be a bit more intimidated like most virgins during their first times. But Spike was a monster hunter, and monster hunters are as brave as they come.

“That sounds purrrrfect~” With a snap of her fingers, Spike was teleported onto her bed in a kneeling position. She rose up to meet him face-to-face before planting a hot kiss on his lips. Momentarily caught off guard by the abrupt teleport, Spike’s eyes widened at the sudden kiss. However, he almost instantaneously melted at Starlight’s touch, enjoying the genuine softness of her lips. He then felt something wet poking between her lips at his, seemingly begging for entry, which he readily obliged. He sent his own tongue into Starlight’s mouth and two pink muscles soon went to work exploring their new environments, leaving their masters a passionately moaning mess from how close they were getting. Not too long into the make out session, Starlight decided it was time to move things along, so she made all of Spike’s remaining clothes disappear in a flash of light.

The young man immediately took notice of this, and parted from her with a cocky look in his eyes.

“Isn’t that just like a monster, so eager to get to the heat of the fight with no patience for a little fun first. Alright, I got no problem with that,” Spike said, pushing Starlight backwards so she fell flat on her back. She looked into his eyes, made a cute "meow" sound and seductively motioned with her finger for the monster hunter to join her. With that, Spike took his place on top of her, the only thing separating their naked forms being Starlight’s outfit, which the young mage readily ripped apart in order to get to the good part. However, Spike intended to have a little more fun first.

“OOOhhhhhh woooow~” Starlight moaned as Spike went to work on her bountiful bust, licking and sucking around the areolas and nipples with his draconic tongue. Like a fleshy, pink snake, Spike’s tongue dragged its way all over Starlight’s sensitive chest, tugging ever so lightly on her hardened nipple with great dexterity. What happened next made Starlight gasp in surprise and ecstasy. Spike had slid a finger down to her sacred garden, caressing its way up and down the second pair of lips until it was nice and wet for his cock.

“Oh Spike, please let me have it” the naughty "catwoman" begged, her faux claws gripping her lover’s bare back.

“Alright then. You want it? You got it,” Spike said before plunging his hardened cock into her drenched cunt. This sent a wave of pleasure shooting up their spines as they joined for the first time. After giving Starlight a moment to adjust to his above average size–granted to him by his Dragonblood heritage–Spike slowly began to move his hips back and forth, gently caressing her insides with his long, thick shaft.

“Ohhh Spike~, your soooo big,” Starlight moaned breathily, grabbing his shoulders as she wrapped her legs around his waist. It was then that Spike began to pick up the pace. He seemed more bestial with clenched teeth and raspy breath. The quicker, rougher movements made Starlight squeal in delight. Then, the mischievous mage got a devious idea and used her magic to push Spike backwards, placing him flat on his back. This gave her a chance to straddle his dick and take control, riding the spiky-haired teen for all he was worth.

“Awww man, Starlight, that’s good,” Spike moaned in delight. Starlight’s velvety walls took his shaft to the base and snugly caressed it, as if trying to milk all that he had. Starlight could feel herself getting closer as her hands pawed at her lover’s toned chest. The wet slaps of their colliding hips and their aroused moans made a sweet cacophony of pleasure within her room. Her normally coiffed hair was disheveled and stuck to her sweaty brow in places as she let her tongue hang loose out of her mouth. She stared down at Spike and noticed that he was getting close too.

“AH! Spike...I’m close.”

“Yeah...me too.”

“C-Cum inside me!”

“I was planning to,” Spike replied with a smirk as he grabbed her hips and began adding his own thrusts into the mix. Not long after, the two finally reached their peaks.

“Starlight!”

“Spike!”

“Ahhhhhhhhh-ha-haaaaa!” they sighed in unison, coming down from their orgasmic highs. Starlight fell to Spike’s side and cuddled close to him, enjoying his naturally warmer body temperature.

“Wow Spike, you performed a lot more than I expected you to,” she complimented.

“Yeah? That’s probably because of some 'training' I did.’”

“Where do you train for sex?” Starlight giggled.

“Oh, wouldn’t you like to know?” Spike replied with a chuckle.

“So how was work? Exciting?”

“Oh yeah. Exciting, and very informative.”

“Really? What did you learn? Oh, and what did you fight? And can you tell me about....*yawn*” Starlight yawned adorably.

“Heh....I think you should get some sleep. Maybe I’ll tell you in the morning.”

“*Yawn* You mean 45 minutes from now?”

“Yeah, well, I’d still try to get some sleep, and I will. Good night, Starry, get your-” Spike stopped when he noticed she was already asleep and snoring like an angel.

Spike smiled as she gently snored, but then a grim look of determination donned his face as he remembered where the goblin hideout was located. It raised so many questions....questions Spike might not get the answers to if he didn’t control himself. He knew now that he had more to fight for. He wouldn’t let anything stop him from finally ending this cat-and-mouse game with the goblins.

No matter what.

Author's Note

Hey guys, shout out to Starblade again for editing again!