A Royal Conquest

The gates of the castle slammed open. Trumpets blew. A crowd gathered around said castle. You and Celestia started crossing the courtyard.

“Princess Celestia and… her adviser.” a guard heralded.

If there was anything the Equestrian military was good at, it was showing off. It helped to keep inconvenient questions at bay, such us why a place that had never been to war had a standing army.

You ignored the commotion in order to quickly consider your next step while walking. First of all, you could stop pursuing your goal of trying to tie up and fuck a Princess and take your newfound position as more than a convenient stepping stone to that goal. Be altruistic for once. Then you could for example judge cases in Celestia’s place,… and deal with all the Tree Huggers that inhabited Equestria. Or you could attend ceremonial banquets with the nobility with her and jump though all the hoops nobles call etiquette. Nope, the very idea of doing those things for any period of time already filled you with suicidal thoughts.

Next, you could try to woo her with Canterlot’s luxury. Stallions brought mares here just to do that. But wooing a mare that had lived for generations in a palace with luxury was like trying to impress a fish with water.

So, just do the exact opposite. Find the seediest part of Canterlot and take the Princess there. If anything, at least she’d have something to remember you by.

While you were thinking, you had crossed said courtyard.

“Where now, adviser?”

Seediest part of Canterlot. Right. If there was such a thing, it’d be on the edge of the city as far away from the castle as possible. You trusted your genetic boorishness to help find it and started walking. Celestia followed.

For the first time, you took in the scenery. The bombastic architecture formed a sharp contrast to Manehattan’s austere practicality, but for now it had its charm on you. You were sure you’d tire of it if you lived here though. The building were dotted with staring and whispering unicorns. They were mostly curios why a simple businessstallion was walking besides Celestia. You were way underdressed for your new office, but you weren't traveling home to fix that. You had a goal to get.

“There’s been something I’ve been wondering, Princess.”

“What is it?”

“Everywhere I look here, I see luxury. How is this possible? Where does this city get the money?”

“Do you know the history of Canterlot?”

“No, my school focused on earthpony history.”

“I love teaching ponies.”

“So I’ve heard. I’m sure you’d make a great teacher if you didn’t have this little gig of moving the sun and ruling Equestria to keep you busy.”

She laughed.

“Well, I do prefer teaching ponies through experience rather than telling them the lesson outright.”

“That’s kind of hard to do with history.”

“There are ways.”

“Yes, let’s mess up the history of Equestria to teach the history of Equestria. Good job, Princess” you sneered.

“Okay, I’ll tell you. Canterlot is build on a system of caves filled with gems.”

“So the ponies here are miners?”

You weren’t feigning your interest. Random useless trivia was a hobby of yours.

“Once. Long ago, ponies used to have a next to impossible time mining and prospecting. The unicorns of Canterlot had an inherent advantage due to the caves here. They almost held a monopoly on the production of gemstones and thus Canterlot grew big and wealthy.”

She paused. She then continued with a grim tone.

“Then came my falling out with my sister. After we fought I couldn’t bear to look at the castle we once shared. Then came along grand consul, well then still mayor Goldbanner.”

Her tone changed. She evidently was quite fond of this Goldbanner.

“He was a slender elegant stallion with a golden mane and coat and blue eyes. He was the ideal Canterlot noble before there even were Canterlot nobles. You remind me of him.”

You and this Goldbanner couldn’t look less alike. He embodied nobility, you looked just like the farmpony you were blood wise, swarthy, tall and wide. Yet you took this comparison as another good omen.

“Canterlot by then had build up quite the treasury. Once Goldbanner had heard of my plight, he approached me and offered to build a new palace for me in his city.”

“How noble of him.”

“He did ask a few favors in return though.”

“Favors like what?”

For a second Celestia was stumped.

“…Well, first of all, I gave him the title of grand consul instead of mayor. Second, I created the Canterlot nobility by giving titles to a few prominent miner families. I also promised to participate in any ceremony the city hosted with these nobles. This made Canterlot the envy of Equestria and Goldbanner the envy of all Equestrian mayors.”

Yet again, she went silent for a moment. You suspected this Goldbanner got other favors from her as well. Even though she wasn’t yours yet, you felt a hint of jealousy.

“Ponies from all of Equestria gathered to help build it. Unbeknownst to me Goldbanner had even allowed quite a few fillies and colts to works on the construction of my future seat. It was a more primitive time back then. But that last act would almost spell the end of Canterlot.”

You sharpened your ears.

“When my palace was finished, the workers had learned quite a bit from its construction. By either luck or Goldbanner’s competence, all the foals had survived this experience unscratched and most had grown up and gotten cutie marks in some form of construction. Once the castle was done they returned to their place of origin. The knowledge they brought was just what the rest of Equestria needed to break Canterlot’s mining monopoly. Soon other mines were begun to crop up that produced gems in both higher quality and quantity than the Canterlot mines.”

Her voice yet again got somber timbre

“The mountainous terrain of Canterlot isn’t good for anything else. The city soon started to descend into squalor. The young started to scatter in search of greener pasture. I could only watch as the city became ever more grim. Meanwhile Goldbanner did everything he could to keep his city from fading away, but it only served to delay its decline. He for example revoked titles of nobility from anypony that moved out of Canterlot. He invested what remained of the treasury in academia in a last gamble, but the graduates still scattered once they got their diploma.”

Almost as if influenced by Celestia’s sad recollections, your surroundings had changed. The buildings around you had clearly seen better days. They were still fancy compared to the rest of Equestria, but they paled compared to the rest of Canterlot. You were on the right track.

“One day everything turned around. One of these scattered youths had made a fortune and had returned to his place of birth to restore his family home to its former state. Goldbanner hosted a parade through the city in his honor and declared him Seneschal. Of course I had to attend. Soon others returned and got similar treatment. Here lies the secret of Canterlot’s wealth. Goldbanner made it a great honor for unicorns to live here. Every one of them that has the money and cares such things tries to buy his or her ancestral home and restore it or even further beautify it in the hopes that they too might one day be declared part of the nobility and even become grand consul. Every generation raised here scatters, but part of them always returns with pride in their heart and the funds needed to keep this city running.”

“So you could have explained this by just saying that Canterlot is Equestria’s resort for rich and proud unicorns.”

She chuckled at your bluntness.

“Yes, but then I wouldn’t have the chance to teach you about this place’s history.”

Just then, luck struck again. A bar with “OVEČ” written above it. You were in for a treat and Celestia was in for a wild ride.