"Come on, Twilight. You have to." Pinkie Pie was relaxed beside her fillyfriend, both of them sitting on a checkered blanket on a hill just outside of Ponyville. Before the mares was a basket that was unpacked, its contents scattered around. The food was a testament to how great a cook Pinkie was, with a complete three course meal laid out.

"I'm not going. Look, I don't care if they think I am a stallion, a mare, or a… a…"—Twilight fished for a word—"a dragon. All I need is a shower to clean off. A good scrub will have my armor clean too." She nibbled on the biscuits that were apparently an entree, and nearly melted when the delicious shortbread broke apart in her mouth.

"But the Grand Galloping Gala is on in three days. You have to look your absolutely, tip-toppiest, best for it." Her eyes glued to Twilight—only figuratively, this time—Pinkie watched as every indication of gastronomical delight was present. "It's only for one afternoon. What could possibly go wro—"

A purple hoof shoved three shortbreads into Pinkie's mouth at once. "Never, ever, say that phrase. It is the undoing of everypony who ever uttered it, and the ponies around them. Castles have collapsed. Crops have wilted in the field. And souffles have failed to rise. All because of those words." Of course, she made sure to include a cooking related disaster; Twilight knew Pinkie Pie quite well by now.

"Souffles not rising is the worst!" Pinkie's whole demeanor wilted: her mane lost its frizz, her tail folded in on itself, and the world seemed a little darker around the mare. With a suddenness that should have had a POP-like sound effect—but didn't—her mane and tail frizzed back up, and Pinkie grinned. "But then it means I get to make more, and eat the ones that didn't rise!"

Irrepressible. Unwavering. Twilight loved how dedicated Pinkie Pie was to keeping her spirits high. "I am still not going." She popped another of the amazing shortbreads into her mouth and chewed with an air of finality.

"Why did I let you talk me into this?" Twilight was out of her armor and walking beside Pinkie. Before them was the day spa. It might look like just another (large) building in Ponyville, but Twilight had heard horror stories. Mares coming out with the girliest of mane cuts was just the start of it.

Pinkie bounced along beside Twilight. All four of her hooves would strike the ground at the same time before she was launched up and forward again. She let out a silly giggle. "It's because you like me, duh."

"I do, don't I?" Twilight leaned in and managed to catch her bouncing fillyfriend on the cheek with a kiss. "But was that enough? Maybe you used some crazy mind powers to force me to come!" She waved a hoof beside her head and made her eyes rattle in their sockets.

"That would be the best name for that ice cream we had: Crazy Mind Powers!" Giggling, Pinkie was in high spirits as they reached the main door of the spa. Pinkie waited for Twilight to open it, but when she didn't, Pinkie reached out to do it herself. "Really got you down, huh?"

"Sorry. It's not just this." Twilight waved a hoof at the building, walking in behind Pinkie. "It is the whole Gala. Everypony who is anypony is going to be there. I mean, we even got our friends tickets. Just who is going to be at this thing?"

"Like you said, Twilight. Everypony." Bouncing right up to the desk, Pinkie held up her hoof. "Two please. And we need your super-duper, Grand Galloping Gala special!"

With each word, Lotus grew more excited. She knew two of Equestria's heroes when she saw them. And Twilight Sparkle was more than just a hero, "he" was the most handsome "stallion" in town, smart, brave, and fearless. Not even trying to hide her thick accent, Lotus gestured to the doors that led deeper into the spa. "Of course, right this way."

Twilight tucked her ears back. "Your ice cream is really good…" Reluctant tone and all, Twilight put one hoof before the other, and followed along with Pinkie. "But I want to make sure it is noted in the official report that I am doing this under protest."

From her mane, Pinkie plucked a scroll and unrolled it. A quill—already charged with ink—was applied, and she carefully wrote, "Twilight protests" in bold lettering. "Okay, all done!" Rolling the scroll back up, she tucked it and the quill back in her mane.

A small hallway separated the waiting room from the main rooms of the spa. Lotus led Twilight and Pinkie down and to one of the smaller steam rooms. "Here we are. A private room for just the two of you." A tingle ran down Lotus' back at the thought of letting the most popular young couple in Ponyville have a room together in the spa. "I will be sure to knock before entering."

"Okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie Pie giggled at Lotus' bobbing eyebrows.

Lotus splashed two measures of spiced water onto the hot coals in the room before leaving. The moment she was outside, she let out a sigh. "Such love…"

"This isn't so bad." Twilight shook herself and let the steam work into her fur and muscles. Stretching out, she slumped down to the platform they were sitting on, and grinned when Pinkie did the same. The wet heat seemed to dive into her muscles, relaxing her in a way she hadn't felt before.

"I told you. Silly billy!" With a giggle, Pinkie touched noses with Twilight and for the first time in their relationship, actually sat still. Time passed, and despite her nature, even Pinkie was getting a little too over steamed.

Twilight was laying on her back, stretched out as far as she could go. Everything from her neck back felt like jelly, and with a gentle wave she shook a hoof in the air. "Pinkie? I think I am about done."

"What? You're not done yet!" Pinkie giggled and, before Twilight's carefully trained—and blunted by relaxation—reflexes could react, she pounced onto Twilight's belly and started tickling her. "You have to promise to go through with the rest of it!"

Squealing in surprise, Twilight tried to push Pinkie off, but her hooves couldn't connect with her slick and energetic fillyfriend. "Pinkie! Get off!" Laughter colored her words, laughter inspired mostly by the sneaky hooves that somehow found all the most ticklish places.

"Agree!" Pinkie laughed as she tickled Twilight with all fours hooves. It didn't matter that Twilight had magic, mass, or size; not when Pinkie used all her tickle powers.

The sound of the door opening startled both Twilight and Pinkie, and each turned to look.

"Um… I still think we should knock first." Fluttershy's soft voice came from just outside the doorway.

Pushing the door open with her magic, Rarity was looking at her overly timid friend. "Nonsense, Fluttershy. What could they possibly be doing that—" Words died in Rarity's mouth when she looked into the room. Shrouded by steam, Twilight was laying on "his" back, sweating, struggling. Atop the supposed stallion, Pinkie Pie had her back arched, her belly pressed firmly to Twilight's. Their two looked locked in the middle of a great struggle, one that was as old as life itself.

"Hi Twilight. Hi Pinkie!" Rainbow Dash waved at her two friends, her face looking like it was about to split with the huge grin on it. "Rarity was just saying how relaxing and calming a good steam bath was." She turned her head to address Applejack. "They don't look very relaxed, do they?"

True to her farming roots, Applejack was more amused at Rarity's scandalized expression than whatever two adult ponies might be getting up to in a private room. "Ah think you might be right there, Rainbow Dash. They look quite… worked up."

"Ahhhhh!" Rarity slammed the door closed on the scene, leaving Pinkie and Twilight inside.

Twilight looked up at Pinkie, watched her fillyfriend's features pull into a definite pre-laugh configuration, and she didn't hold back. Cracking up, Twilight could remember Rarity's look, and appreciated the joke that Rainbow and Applejack had made.

A timid knock came at the door, and both mares shushed. "Do you think they heard us laughing?" Twilight gazed into Pinkie's eyes, thinking how light and free the world felt when she was with Pinkie.

"We have to mess with them all. It just isn't fair to Rarity that she is the only one scandalized." Violet eyes looked up at Pinkie, and just seeing how happy Twilight was made her practically glow. Every day truly was a party, when you were in love.

Twilight gave a little nod. "Applejack and Rainbow Dash are fair game, but not Fluttershy." Turning her head to the side, Twilight cleared her throat. "No! Not again Pinkie! What will our friends think?!"

Rolling sideways, both of the mares slipped off the platform and to their hooves. Each was careful of the noise their hooves made as they neared the door. "But… But Twilight! I need more!" Pinkie hoped her voice could be heard outside.

Just as they neared the door, Twilight used her magic to turn the handle and pull it open with a sharp tug. Three ponies tumbled inside, each having had their ear pressed to the door. Fluttershy was the only one of their friends who wasn't tumbled in at their hooves.

"On second thoughts, Pinkie, I think we have gotten plenty steamed up. Time to relax." Stepping past her collapsed friends, Twilight directed a grin and a knowing wink to Fluttershy, and mouthed, "Nothing happened," to her.

"Maybe I could jump in a mud bath. I bet we could get really… dirty… in there." Pinkie's grin was as wide as her face, and she made sure to wiggle her plot a little as she walked away with Twilight.

"It serves you all right." Fluttershy's voice was barely the demanding side of timid. "I told you we should have knocked."

The spa hadn't been so bad for Twilight after all. She had played a bit of a joke on her friends, and relaxed a lot more than she thought she would. Slumped back on a relaxing lounge-chair, she was wrapped in warm towels while getting her mane trimmed.

"The look on your faces. What did you think Twilight and I were doing?" Pinkie gestured to Twilight. "What would we possibly do, in private, that would make you all try to listen in?"

Applejack still wasn't completely sure the two had been innocent of any naughtiness in the steam room, but she was entirely too honest to lie or keep quiet. "We thought you were having s—" A perfect slice of apple cake found its way to Applejack's mouth—carried by blue magic—just as she was trying to finish.

Dousing her magic, Rarity shook her head at Applejack. "Darling, you simply can't say such a thing in public. Now it may have been wrong of me to open the door without knocking, you really shouldn't be—"

"Banging?" Twilight teased more blush into Rarity's cheeks with her choice of words. "On the floor, that is."

"Ye… Yes! Banging… on the…" Just as Rarity thought she had been passed a life preserver, she realized the phrase had been carefully crafted to be, in some ways, worse than what she knew Applejack had been about to say. "Alright. I admit it. I should have knocked."

"I was just trying to tickle Twilight into agreeing to the rest of the spa treatment." At last, Pinkie had decided the joke had run its course. "There was nothing naughty going on." The words seemed to pacify Rarity's blush for the moment.

Rainbow Dash, trying to feign dislike of what she had said was "fru fru" (a wonderful phrase she had learned from Spike) treatment her delicate hooves were getting. "Nothing naughty…"—her voice trailed off—"in that room."

Rarity's indignant cry of, "Rainbow Dash!" had all of her friends laughing, and eventually she joined them in mirth.

Twilight had barely noticed the stylist work, that he had done a wonderful and modern stallion cut on her mane and tail. But what she completely missed was that he had just finished trimming one of her fetlocks. She stared at her exposed, violet hoof.

"That looks very fetching, dear." Rarity's comment did nothing to pull Twilight out of her daze.

Leaning up to her fillyfriend, Pinkie pressed her snout to Twilight's ear and kept her voice down. "They will grow back. It looks totally—"

At just that moment, somepony from the pool had tossed a large round object at the group. "Ball in-coming!" Rainbow Dash threw herself up to deflect the sphere away.

"That. What she said." Pinkie kissed the purple ear, and made sure to leave it with a little giggle.

Author's Note

Twilight: How hard would it be to get a copy of your birth certificate proving you're a mare?

"I have this theory." Twilight kept glancing down at her polished and shining hooves. "In it I work on the premise that at least half of all ponies will completely ignore everything about you except what they hear when they first meet you. Half of the remainder will need at least one corroborating fact. Half of the rest need two, and so on."

Flashing her horn, Twilight summoned a binder of pages that was nearly three times the thickness of any other book in her library. "Now, I did some maths,"—her tone implied that it was more than just some—"and I worked out that the amount of 'facts' everypony in Ponyville has seen leaves just two ponies who should still, despite everything, question that I am a stallion."

Turning her head, Twilight nodded towards Pinkie Pie. "That is one." Her eyelids half closed, and Twilight let out a deep, suffering sigh. "And of course I am the other."

So I do this "Ask x" thing, x can be any pony within the story. You can ask them anything and ~~I~~ they will definitely hopefully reply. Keep the questions appropriate to the age-rating of the stories and of course, ~~I~~ they will answer the best question(s) in the author notes of the next chapter. The more votes a comment has the more likely I will get it to the right pony to answer, try and keep it to one answer per post! ~~I~~ They will pick one question per chapter.

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