Serious Sam - My Little Encounter

The ponies waved at Sam and Twilight, as the two were leaving Ponyville. They followed the train tracks, because that was a sure way to reach Canterlot. They waved back and embarked on their journey. Sam looked at the waving ponies, now wielding shotguns, tommyguns and rocket launchers, feeling a bit of pride in his heart. Both for his own work and for the ponies, for being able to stand their ground against Mental’s army.

“I’m starting to like this place.” He remarked.

“It’s really not like this most of the time.” Twilight explained. “We’re normally very peaceful and friendly.” Sam rolled his eyes as Twilight talked. “We really don’t like conflict. We prefer diplomacy, we haven't had a war in ages.” She proclaimed proudly.

„And you can kick serious ass too, when you want to.” Sam replied.

Twilight paused for a moment, then asked, “What’s your problem with donkeys anyway?”

“What?” Sam was caught off guard by that remark.

“You’ve been talking about kicking donkeys so much. You even corrected Starlight when she said kicking butts.”

“Oh, you mean ass, as in donkey!”

“You know that’s a pretty bad slur, right?”

“No, I mean ass as in butts.”

“So you call donkeys butts? I fail to see how that’s any better!”

“No, look…” Sam tried to explain himself, “ass might mean donkey, but it also means butt. But butts aren’t donkeys.”

“What?” Sam’s obtuse explanation confused Twilight even more.

“Alright, jeez! I never had to think so much about the word ass before.”

An awkward silence lingered above them, as they looked at the barren landscape. Dark brown clouds were crawling across the sky.

“Haven’t seen the Sun or the Moon in quite a while now.” Twilight remarked. “That would be a good way to see if the princesses are okay.”

“You probably shouldn’t go up there.” Sam advised. “Mental’s spaceships might be lurking behind them. Or another meteor shower.”

“A meteor shower?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if the Moon peaked through those clouds.”

“The Moon?”

“There’s a reason we call him Mental, you know.”

“He tried to crash the Moon into the ground?”

“Yeah, good old times.”

“I don’t think Princess Luna would let him do that.”

“Let’s hope you’re right.”

“We got to hurry, who knows what he’ll be capable of doing with the princesses out of the way.”

“They’re fine.” Sam tried to reassure Twilight.

“How can you be so sure?”

“The computer inside my brain told me. Trust me, it’s never wrong.”

That didn’t calm Twilight down. She wasn’t sure whether to believe this mysterious cranial computer or not.

They’ve been following the train tracks for a while, which paid off. There was the train, sitting still on the tracks, right in front of them.

“Look,” Twilight exclaimed, “there’s the train! We can still catch it.”

“Huh, how convenient.” Sam commented.

Twilight ran towards the train, then stopped running, when she heard noises coming from inside it. Sam caught up with her from behind. He was counting down audibly. And just when he reached zero, the train’s door burst open and mutated ponies erupted out of it. They were blue, they were vicious and they breathed fire. Some of them had wings and swooped down, some of them had horns and fired lasers from a distance.

They took Twilight by surprise, but Sam was prepared. He grabbed his golden sceptre and smashed the mutant horses that got close. Twilight realized what was happening and she beamed down the horses in the sky and in the distance.

Once they all died, Twilight took a close look at one of them.

“Are these ponies?” She asked.

“Yeah,” Sam answered, “I should have known Mental was going to have fun with that Reptiloid DNA again.”

“He turned ponies to his side?”

“Yeah, he tends to do that to worlds he conquered.”

“We must hurry then.”

They boarded the train, killed a couple mutant horses that remained on board and headed to the driver’s cabin. Twilight tried to figure out the controls, while Sam noticed something. It made his eye beam up.

“How convenient!” He shouted enthusiastically and picked up a minigun. Then he shot down all remaining mutant horses that were still after them.

“How do I drive this?” Twilight asked, while looking at the many levers.

Sam looked at the controls, pushed and pulled a few levers and the train began moving.

“How’d you do that?” Twilight asked.

“Cranial computer remember?” Sam answered.

The train was speeding up nicely. The tracks were a bit rough, but it was going well. Canterlot was getting closer and closer. Of course, the trip wasn’t undisturbed. Some clatter could be heard from the top of the train, as skeletons and mutant horses jumped on top of it.

“I’ll deal with them!” Said Sam and he climbed outside. He grabbed his trusty minigun and took down anyone who dared to board the train without his permission. Some monsters even jumped in through the windows, which Twilight swiftly took care of.

Soon bulls approached the train and crashed into it sideways, trying to derail it. Even flying robots flew in, trying to push Sam off.

“Sam, could you take care of those bulls?!” Twilight shouted, as she tried to deal with the flying robots of her own.

“I’m kind of busy right now!” Sam shouted back, as the flying robots were now grabbing and pulling him.

Twilight thought for a bit. She concentrated on the train very hard, then with a bit of effort, she lifted the train up in the air. The bulls bunched up below the flying train, which Twilight crashed back down with immense force. The bulls were grinded up by the train’s wheels crashing against the railing. Their bones shattered, as their bodies were pulverized into tiny pieces. Sam held on. Then, once all bulls were reduced to ground meat, he could take down all the annoying floaters around him.

But as it turns out, that was merely a distraction. They heard a deep monstrous moan. Sam was too busy dealing with the floaters, to take a look, but Twilight managed to catch a glimpse of where they were headed and saw the railroad running straight into an enormous mass of lava which had two gigantic arms growing out of it.

“Sam!” Twilight leaned out the window and shouted. “Jump!”

Sam turned around and saw the huge lava golem in front of the train. He didn’t hesitate to jump right off the train. Twilight flew out the window and caught Sam in the air. The train rode towards the lava monster, which slammed on it with its massive arm, completely obliterating it. The shockwave pushed them further, but they managed to land safely, save for a few cuts and bruises. The debris was still flying as they got up. Twilight took a good look at the lava monster, but Sam’s attention was pulled somewhere else.

“Is it Christmas already?” He exclaimed and picked up a cannon. “Or is it my birthday?”

“Sam,” Twilight shouted, “look out!”

Sam looked and there was a big ball of lava heading towards his way. He didn’t realize, but Twilight was already fighting the lava golem, while he was talking to his cannon. He aimed it at the ball of lava and launched a cannonball at it, which plowed right through it, straight into to the lava golem’s side. A small bit of lava broke off and formed into a smaller lava golem. Twilight blasted it with laser, but it only broke into three smaller golems. That process repeated itself a few more times, as Sam shot more cannonballs at the lava monster. Twilight tried to destroy all smaller lava golems, but she couldn’t keep up. There was just more and more of them.

“It just keeps breaking into more of them!” She complained.

“Yeah, I hate fighting this guy.” Sam replied.

Twilight thought for a bit, then got an idea. She flew up to the small golems and blasted them with freezing air. They all solidified into rock, which Twilight blasted apart with her magic. She then flew up to the big one and froze a small chunk of it. Sam saw that and shot a cannonball right where the lava was solidified. The big golem shrunk slightly, as it couldn’t use that part of itself anymore. Soon Twilight solidified more of it and Sam kept breaking it apart with his cannonballs. The monster was quickly reduced to rubble.

“Good thinking!” Sam complimented Twilight and raised his hand for a high-five. Then he realized his mistake and settled on a fist-hoof bump instead.

But as the searing rubble cooled down, it began to shake. The rocks flew towards each other and formed into yet more golems.

“Nevermind.” Said Sam and he continued fighting.

Thankfully, blowing these rock golems to pieces was much more effective. Still, there were many of them and while Twilight had an easier time blasting rock apart, the fight still took a lot of time. The golems were breaking, the rubble was flying, and eventually, they succeeded. They took a few breaths as the dust settled and looked at each other.

“Let’s just get to Canterlot already!” Said Twilight tiredly.

“Yeah…” Sam mustered up a response and they began walking towards Canterlot.

It was close now, the mountain the city was built into was already casting its shadow. But it was still far away. For a brief moment the sky cleared. The Moon and the Sun could be seen.

“Oh no!” Said Twilight as she saw that. “Both the Moon and the Sun are up.”

“Uh… is that bad?” Sam asked.

“That means Celestia and Luna are in trouble!”

“Then we better get to them!” Sam shouted and they started running.

Canterlot wasn’t too far away now. But unfortunately, the two of them had one more obstacle in their way. Suddenly the noise of an army teleporting in could be heard. Sam and Twilight kept running. Twilight rose up in the air, taking Sam with her. But she crashed into an invisible energy shield. The army has now completely surrounded them. Every single monster, tanks, gnaars, kleers, zum’buls, walkers, devil horses, beheaded soldiers, everything they’ve encountered before and some more, was there. And they wanted only one thing. Their blood.

Sam and Twilight stood back-to-back, staring down the army of monsters charging at them. Sam took out his minigun, Twilight charged up her horn and they looked at each other.

“Ready to get serious?” Sam asked.

"Absolutely." Twilight grinned.

"Well then..." Sam replied.

They faced the approaching alien horde and in unison, they said; “Let’s get serious!”