The Nightmare and Me

I jogged around a crooked stop sign, heart pumping. I breathed in quick bursts; I haven't been running this long in a while. I nervously glanced at a crumbling building. It was a bad part of town, but then again, it's Detroit. It's all a bad part of town. A cold gust of autumn wind swirled dead leaves near my feet. I heard a low sound, almost like a baby crying. I stopped dead in my tracks.

"You can have my purse, there's nothing in it. Not even a dollar." I said loudly, as if to ward off gangsters.

The crying continued, and curiousity took root. It seemed to be coming from a filthy alley between an abandoned factory and a house in shambles. I cautiously made my way across the street, but stopped at the entrance. A few rusty cans littered the alley, and now that I was closer, the sound seemed almost etheral. Looking back, that should have narrowed it down.

"I'll probably get tetanus for this." I muttered, carefully stepping around the cans.

I shivered and hugged my tracksuit closer. It was getting dark out and I did NOT want to be in this neighborhood at night. I peered into the dim alley and saw a paper Walmart bag. It shivered and whined. I walked over and ripped the bag open, expecting a puppy or something. Instead, a little black horse tumbled out. I mean little. The size of a volleyball. What horse is as big as a volleyball? Whatever. My maternal instincts kicked in when I saw the helpless little black thing. I scooped it up in my arms, nearly dropping it when I saw the miniscule horn peeking out of a starry mane. A horn? A starry mane? No, it couldn't be...

It's cat-like eyes pleaded with me, seeming so innocent. It's little wings fluttered at it's sides.

"No... impossible..." I whispered.

The filly wriggled in my arms. I put her in my purse and began the journey home.

* * *

When I got home, after and only after I deadbolt the door, I opened my purse. A very disgruntled pony stared up at me. I lifted her out of the purse  and onto the decent carpet. Her little helmet-like blue patch on her head was just so cute! It made her look like a little general. Or tyrant. A little voice nagged.

The litttle breastplate with the crescent moon on it was adorable! Like an exiled queen. The same voice said.

"It's impossible. You cannot be Nightmare Moon. Equestria doesn't exist. It's made up by Lauren Faust. Tabitha St. Germain does your voice. You..." I put my head on my knees. "Is it sad that I know this?"

The filly Nightmare Moon nodded.

"Shut up, smartass."

Nightmare Moon smirked. Then a worried look came across her face.

"What are you- OH GOD! NIGHTMARE!" I screamed when she peed on my shoe.

With a satisfied air, Nightmare Moon laid down and fell asleep.

I took my shoe off and threw it in the sink. That asshole pissed on a two hundred dollar brand new tennis shoe. My heart melted when I glared angrily at her. I took my other shoe off and got a big, fluffy pillow from the couch. I gently lifted Nightmare Moon onto the pillow. She didn't even stir. But she snored. Oh god, how she snored. Imagine turning the bass up all the way on your car, then blasting some low music. You could feel the floor vibrate from the kitchen.

I changed into my Rainbow Dash fleece pajamas. Yes, my life was sad. I laid down on the couch with my blanket and pillow from my bedroom. I just sat there and watched her sleep for a while. Eventually, I decided that it was a dream and a mobster hit me from behind and I was knocked out. I slowly drifted off to sleep.

In the morning, I was awoken by a small voice demanding food.

"I'm hungry! I want food!" Nightmare Moon nosed me.

"What the f-"

"Food!" Nightmare's belly grumbled.

"You're still here?" I sat up, causing her to tumble down to my crossed legs.

"Food!"

"Okay, I'll make food." I got up.

"I'm hungry!"

"Working on it!" I called.

Nightmare hopped down from the couch. "We want food, now!"

"We?" I asked quizzically while I gathered ingredients for muffins.

"We speak in the Royal Canterlot voice! We are hungry!" The filly shouted as best she could.

"Yeah, around here, people talk in the modern way. Blueberries?"

"We would like blueberries!"

"I would like blueberries." I corrected her as I slid the muffin sheet into the oven.

"No, we would like blueberries! You don't get blueberries!"

"No, you see-"

"We get all the blueberries!" Nightmare announced.

"I was correcting you. You say I would like blueberries. Not we. I." I said, exasperated.

"We... I would like blueberries?" she said tentatively. "...I would like blueberries. I would like blueberries. I would like blueberries!" she did a little dance around the room. "I would like blueberries! I would like blueberries!" she sang.

"You just have to wait."

"Nightmare Moon waits for no one!" she yelled fiercely.

"Easy there, killer. Quiet down and use your manners. You obviously remember your life in Equestria, so you probably remember how to say please and thank you," I reprimanded her. "Also, stop talking in third person. It's weird. And you don't get a muffin if you don't use your manners."

"We- I would like a muffin. Please?" she looking up at me with Bambi eyes.

"They'll be done in a few minutes, Nightmare." I told her, eyeing the timer.

"But w- I am hungry!" she complained.

"We'll work on contractions tomarrow." I muttered.

"What?" Nightmare asked.

"Nothing," The oven dinged. "Muffins are ready, they just have to cool down."

"Don't wanna wait! Muffins now!" Nightmare shouted.

"Just a few minutes! Patience, my young Jedi." I told her, sounding like a huge geek. "Look, they're already cooled down!"

"Muffins!" Nightmare cheered.

"Sit at the table." I said.

She clambered up the chair, grunting with the effort.

I gave her a boost and in exchange, she gave me a dirty look.

"I could have done it by myself." she scowled.

"Sure, speedy." I gave her a plate with two muffins on it.

I turned around to get my own plate of three muffins. When I turned to face her, she was demolishing her second muffin.

"More!" she commanded.

"More what?"

"More muffins," she corrected.

"More please." I said.

"Please."

I gave her two more muffins, munching on my first.

I finished my first muffin and her fourth one was in her mouth. Whole.

"Moe muffath peeth." she said around the bite.

I gave her the last three muffins.

I started my second muffin as I got my coffee ready. I was just over half done with the muffin in my hand, so I turned around to get the last muffin. Except it wasn't there. Nightmare's cheeks bulged.

"Nightmare, did you eat my muffin?" I asked calmly.

She shook her head vigorously, crumbs flying everywhere.

"Then where is it?"

She shrugged.

"You're a bad liar."

Her eyes widened. She swallowed and one large lump went missing. She jumped off the chair and scampered out of the kitchen.

"I knew it," I muttered and shook my head at the empty muffin tin.