Author's Note

A forward this time!

The following is a crossover with Damaged's tale "Sexy Brain Parasite Story". It's been done with Damaged's permission and occasional snicker of amusement and, while I have tried to make it canon compatible, should not necessarily be considered canon for his story.

Although it is canon for this story here.

Anyway, Happy April Fools, and I hope you enjoy the chapter.

April First

“That was completely awesome,” I burst out as I set hoof back in the depot, and was instantly hugged by Derpy who came through the portal about two seconds behind me.

“You did great, James,” Derpy said, bouncing up and down as she hugged me, then letting go as she saw our boss approaching. “Oh, hello Discord.”

“I take it things went well?” Discord asked, stepping close and carrying another pair of saddle bags over his shoulders.

“A few bumps,” I said, resolving to be honest. “Nothing I wasn’t able to handle.”

“Good, because I need you to go back out again,” Discord said, and my saddlebags unstrapped themselves and floated over to him. The pair he already had with him floated over to me and wrapped themselves around my barrel.

“Not that I really mind heading out again boss,” I said, pausing to breathe as the straps were cinched down. “But why so quickly? I thought you would want me to do some paperwork, talk about what I did, how to improve, that sort of thing.”

“Normally yes,” Discord said, and his usual smile became wider and wider. “But things change when you get a Royal Commission.” Discord moved aside to reveal the dark blue of Princess Luna, to whom I owed some very special debts.

“Princess,” I said, dropping to my fore knees in a bow. Most of the time my mouth tends to have a full clip of snark with a side load of wise-ass, but I’d seen the Princess of the Night in her element with her power wrapped around her like a cloak. She could be one scary mare when she wanted to be, and I’d made myself a promise from that point on to do my level best to stay on her good side.

“Rise, my young stallion,” Luna said, looking down imperiously at me before her muzzle split into a grin and moving her cold expression to one both warm and welcoming. “It is good to see thee coming into thine own.”

“Um, Thanks… Princess? Matriarch? Mistress? Mother?” I asked. I still really wasn’t certain what the relationship between me and the Mare of the Moon was. Sometimes she was wise and motherly, other times she seemed really flirty, and a few times she’d made me want to curl into a ball and cower at her hooves.

“Oh James,” Luna laughed, cupping a hoof under my chin and raising my eyes to meet hers. “I can see the questions you have. Thou art many things, my young stallion, but guarded in your feelings is not one of them. To you, I am all these things you have said, and none of them. As ever changing as the Moon I am, for it is my element. Use whichever term comes most easily to thy lips and as long as thou art sincere, I shall take no offense.”

“Okay, thank you… Princess, “ I said, standing before Luna. “So, my question still stands. Why do I need to head back out so soon?”

“As Discord has said, there are certain balances in the universe that must be maintained,” Luna said, still smiling although her eyes had become serious now. “I have foreseen that one of those balances is one that must come here, to Equestria. As opposed to the ones you will take to other worlds.”

“Following you so far,” I said, opening the new saddlebags to have a look inside. There were two parcels. One was a short cylinder of a box marked “Sugar Cube Corner," and the other was a round bundle that was unmarked except for the name of the intended receiver. One “Sonata Dusk,” to be precise.

“The packages you have are only the pretense for your travels, although they will be important to the recipients,” Luna said, her face being wholly serious now. “You are to accept any return messages you are offered however, for there shall be one of critical import.”

“Understood, Princess,” I said, sketching a salute. “I won’t let you down.”

“We know that thou will seek to do thine utmost to fulfill our command,” Luna said, giving me a nuzzle that caused me to quiver all the way down to the tip of my tail. “Now, stretch out thy right fore-hoof to Us, that We may grant thee a boon.”

That got my attention right quick. Luna doesn’t always use the old timey talk, but it leaks in enough to notice. The only time she goes full old-school is when she is getting all formal about something. So, I ducked my head, stepped back a pace and held out my hoof like I’d been told to. She clopped her hoof to mine, there was a flash of sparks as our shoes made contact, and my whole leg tingled.

“What just happened?” I asked, lowering my still tingling leg.

“We have granted thee, our stallion, with the boon of direction,” Luna said, still using her formal voice. “In lay terms we have ensorcelled the shoe upon thy hoof, so that it now bears a spell which will unerringly direct thee to your destination. Merely concentrate on to whom you need to reach and the spell will guide thee.”

“Wow, thanks!” I exclaimed, twisting my hoof so I could look at the shoe that was fused to it. “This is going to make things way easier.”

“Hey!” Discord protested, curling around Luna’s torso to look over her shoulder at my hoof as well. “I was going to do that for him a couple of trips from now.”

“I am sure you would have, Discord,” Luna said, and I could tell she was a little annoyed with being used as a ladder. “But I have chosen to give that tool to my stallion now. I’m sure he will use it… wisely.” Luna looked right at me as she said that, lifting one delicate ebon eyebrow, and I swore she was looking at me with a Natalie Dormer level smirk.

“Excuse me, Princess Luna,” Derpy said, stepping in between me and Luna. “We need to talk, you and I.”

“Uh oh,” Discord said, rapidly unwinding himself from Luna and pulling me aside. “Come along, James. We really need to get you going.”

“What is it that you feel the need to discuss, my little pony?” Luna asked, tilting her head as her ears swiveled forwards toward the grey furred pegasus.

“Something mare to mare,” Derpy said, with a hint of the steel in her voice I hadn’t heard since the day back in the alley, “and not pony to princess.”

“This really seems like something I should be here for,” I said, as Discord bodily lifted me up and carried me towards the exit portal. This time it was shaped like one of those things they put statues on top of.

“No, you shouldn’t, James,” Discord said, quickly double checking my bags for me. “Even I’m not crazy enough to get between two mares who are arguing.”

“What are your intentions toward my coltfriend?” Derpy demanded, and Discord threw me at, and through the portal.

“What in the holy hell was that all about?” I asked myself out loud, a moment later between dimensions as I brought myself under control. Discord’s head, just his head, popped into existence beside me a moment later.

“Take your time on this one, James,” Discord’s head said. “I’ll try to keep things—”

“How dare you attempt to infringe upon Our rights!” Luna exclaimed in the background, cutting off Discord, who cringed visibly.

“I’ve got dibs!” I heard Derpy yell right back. “I’ve shed blood for him!”

“I’ll try to keep things from getting explosive,” Discord said, his head fading away. “Make sure you pick up any return letters…”

I lost orientation for a bit as I tried to wrap my head around what had just happened. Were Luna and Derpy fighting over me? There was just no way that could be it. I mean Derpy was awesome and a great friend, but that’s all we were, friends. As for Luna, she was a freaking princess, and not just a different species but a different pony species to boot. There was no way, no way at all, that either of them could be interested in me in that way. Then, I thought back to all those quiet intimate moments me and Derpy had spent together, the hours lying in adjoining hospital beds talking about whatever came into our heads. We knew each other better than some husbands and wives did.

I thought about Luna, and her soft touches, the gentle nuzzles that sent chills down my spine. Her adoption of me into her herd, the continual referring to me as “her stallion,” how she had marked me as one of her own to protect me, and most of all I remembered the time she had brought me to a peak of pleasure so hard it had been agony. I felt something inside of me thrum with a need to feel that painful pleasure again.

“Crap,” I said out loud again, realizing that Luna, Derpy and I were going to need to have a long talk when I got back. However, floating through inter-dimensional space was neither the time or the place to dwell on things. Personal stuff was for personal time and it was time for work. So, once again, I mentally pictured myself as the Flash running through space toward the mounting block of a statue, and in what seemed no time at all I was bursting through the portal to another rough and bouncing landing in bright sunshine.

“Whoa nelly!” I heard a voice nearby exclaim. I blinked a few times, adjusting to the light again and looked up at an athletic long haired blond woman looking down at me.

“Oh, is he alright?” said a gentle voice to one side, and another young woman, looking a bit younger than me, gazed down with long pink hair framing her face making me realize I was lying on my back and looking up at the sky.

I groaned in pain as various body aches reminded me that rocks weren’t soft, and I'd rolled ass over teakettle along the ground after my emergence from the portal. The girls leaning over me didn’t seem hostile and I closed my eyes recognizing the soft touches the pink haired girl was using, as the same Nurse Redheart had used when she had checked me for injuries. My eyes shot back open however, when I felt something looped around my collar and snugged tight.

“No need to fright now, critter,” the blond haired one said, stroking my mane with one hand while holding the leash she had attached to me with the other. “Sometimes hurt critters will run ‘cause they’re scared. You check him out, Fluttershy, I’ll make sure he doesn’t go nowhere.”

“Thank you for your concern,” I said, taking a bit of pleasure in their shocked expressions, “but I’m fine. Just had the breath knocked out of me for a bit there.”

“You talk?” the pink haired one said, whose name I gathered was Fluttershy, just like Discord’s wife. “Like Princess Twilight’s dog Spike?”

“I don’t know any Spike,” I said, rolling to my stomach. “But I have met Princess Twilight. Do you mind taking off the leash, Ma’am?”

“Oh,” said the blond woman, looking a little embarrassed, and her fingers worked at my neck as she loosened and removed the improvised leash she’d put on me. “Sorry about that.”

“No harm done,” I said, getting to my hooves and brushing off my uniform. “You meant well and if I was hurt you and your friend could have made the difference for me.” Both the young women smiled at that, the pink haired one actually blushing at the compliment.

“So, what can we do you for? Name’s Applejack, by the way,” Applejack said, holding out a hand.

“I’m making a couple of deliveries for the Equestrian Postal Service,” I said, putting my hoof in Applejack’s hand and giving a shake. “Can either of you direct me to the home of a Pinkamena Diane Pie?”

“Pinkie?” Applejack said, tipping her hat back. “Ya, her place is down that ways about ten blocks, take a right, go about three blocks and look for the house with the big rock garden out front.”

“Okay, thanks,” I said, nodding in gratitude. I did have the direction spell on my shoe but I didn’t want to start relying on it until I had to, as Luna hadn’t mentioned if it had a duration or not, plus asking directions seemed like the sort of thing I should do.

“You want a lift?” Applejack asked, hooking a thumb over to a beat up looking pickup truck nearby. “It’s no trouble.”

“Nah, I’m good,” I said, smiling my thanks for the offer. “I’d better get going though.”

“You sure you wouldn’t like a drink at least?” Fluttershy asked, peeking out from her hair. “I’ve got some compressed alfalfa pellets too, if you’re hungry.”

“A drink would be nice, thank you,” I said, unable to resist giving her something to do for me.

Fluttershy smiled beatifically, and pulled a water bottle out of a well stuffed backpack, which she proceeded to open and hold up to my mouth. I sucked back about half the bottle and nodded my thanks.

“Appreciated, ladies,” I said, letting both of them run their hands over my mane for a bit. They were both cute, kind and who was I to tell pretty girls they couldn’t run their hands over me while commenting on how soft my fur was? “If I’m back this way, I’ll take you up on that snack.”

“Take care, pardner,” Applejack said. “You ever need a place to bed down you just come my way. Any friend of Princess Twilight’s is a friend of ours.”

“Thanks,” I said, heading off at a walk, before switching to my trot. It wasn’t a bad idea, having a place to rest out in the field. The actual Pony Express had way stations along the routes, places where riders and horses could eat, drink and rest up a bit. Maybe Discord would be open to similar for our version.

I moved along down the streets at a good clip. Long Strides had certainly been right about how well a trot ate up terrain and I was closing in on my destination within minutes. To my surprise I hadn’t really gained much attention as I headed toward my first drop off. Certainly the people, and the beings here did look like people, were of a huge variety of colours and shapes. It might explain why a brown furred pony wearing a uniform and carrying saddlebags while trotting through town wasn’t causing more of a furor.

I mentally shrugged off trying to figure out why people here weren’t freaking out about me. Princess Twilight had obviously been here, so maybe people were just used to seeing ponies. My thoughts cut off as I turned the corner and saw one of the most incredible rock gardens I’d ever seen.

When people think of rock gardens they think of round gray shapes in pleasing patterns. Maybe some moss here and there, perhaps a burbling little stream. At least, that's how I thought of what a rock garden looked like. This rock garden covered the entire front yard of the house, and was set up with patterns of colour and crystal. Sunlight gleamed as it was coloured and reflected toward a large, oval shaped boulder in the center that seemed to hold the whole thing together.

I wasn’t sure what the composition of that massive stone was, but I could see that small openings had been opened up for reflected light to enter and newly coloured light leave to spray patterns against the house and back out into the rock garden itself. The whole thing was a web of coloured sunlight that must have taken a genius level geologist or rockhound to create. Keeping my mind focused though, I walked up to a side door of the house and rang the doorbell.

“Hello?” the young woman who opened the door said. She looked back and forth above my head before looking down and seeing me.

“Hello there,” I said, smiling a professional smile. “Equestrian Postal Service—”

“Oh god,” the woman said, hiding her yellow and red haired face in her hands. “This is it, isn’t it? My official notice of exile from Equestria.”

“What?” I asked, surprised at the woman’s response. “Um, is your name Pinkamena Diane Pie?”

“Wait,” the woman said, looking back up. “You don’t have anything for me? Sunset Shimmer?”

“No Ma’am,” I said, opening my saddlebags to pull out what I was pretty sure was a cake. “This is addressed to a ‘Pinkamena Diane Pie,’ is she at this address?”

“Sugarcube Corner,” Sunset said, reading the top of the box in a hushed tone before giving herself a shake. “Yes, Pinkie lives here. I can sign for the package.”

“Excellent,” I said, as I hoofed over the box, and I noted that this Sunset person was taking pains to make sure she never actually touched me. She signed my clipboard and put the cake down before turning back to me.

“Do you have any spare time?” Sunset asked, twirling some of her hair in her fingers. “I’d like to send a letter back to Equestria, if that’s okay?

“Actually, Ma’am,” I said, as I tucked my clipboard back into my saddlebags, “you’re in luck. I’m actually under orders to pick up any return mail that anyone might have. I can afford to wait for a bit.”

“Oh, good,” Shimmer said, and I could see she was a little nervous. “I’ll try to make this quick. You want to come in for a minute while I write?”

“Sure,” I said, stepping into what was clearly a bottom floor apartment that was very sparsely furnished.

“I’d offer you a place to sit, but I really don’t have much in the way of furniture yet,” Sunset said, putting my delivery onto a kitchen island and grabbing paper and pen from a nearby backpack. “Anything I can get you while you wait?”

“I’m good, Ma’am,” I said, keeping up my professional demeanor. “I can just sit on the floor. One of the benefits of being a pony as opposed to a human.”

“You’re not a pony?” Sunset asked, and I could hear the scratching sounds of pen on paper as she started to write.

“I’m a pony now,” I said, tucking my hooves underneath me in a comfortable resting position. “I was a human, until I answered an ad that’s taking me a little further afield than I ever expected.”

“That sort of thing will happen when you mess with magic,” Sunset said, writing quickly enough that she was already reaching toward a second sheet of paper. “I know I had a bit of a transition problem when I came here from Equestria. You have any family here you would like me to let know how you’re doing?”

“Thanks for the offer,” I said, smiling at the kind gesture, “but this is actually not my home dimension. It’s a nice one, but my home is a lot plainer and rougher than this place.”

“You have anyone back home missing you?” Sunset asked, after a few minutes had gone by. She’d lit a candle at some point and was using the melted wax as an old fashioned seal on three rolled up cylinders of paper she had made. Her letters, I assumed.

“Just my parents,” I said, getting up and walking over to her. “But I don’t live at home and they won’t start worrying about me for a bit. I should be back for a visit before that happens.”

“Okay,” Sunset said, holding out her three letters. “One is for Princess Celestia, the other is for Princess Twilight and the third is for Starlight Glimmer.” I held open the bag her package had come in and she obligingly dropped the letters in.

“Thank you very much, Ma’am,” I said, buckling the flap closed on the bag. “I’m heading back to Equestria after I make my next delivery.”

“When do you think you will be back this way?” she asked, walking me to the door.

“To be honest, I have no idea,” I said, and I saw her face fall a bit at that. “I’m sorry. We just started doing this and I have no idea if we’ll be doing regular runs or what.”

“Okay,” Sunset said, nodding as she held the door open for me. “Well, I’m glad I had at least this opportunity to write home. If you do wind up coming back, swing by and I’ll probably have something else to write.”

“No problem,” I said, stepping back out into what felt like early afternoon sunshine. “Have a good day.”

“You too,” Sunset said, and closed the door behind me.

I walked out past that incredible rock garden again and headed out into the street before stopping cold. Where the hell was I going? Circumstance had led me to my first delivery but how was I going to find my second? I was in a strange world, knowing no one and nobody. Well, that wasn’t quite true. Applejack had offered me a place to stay, but like a typical male I hadn’t asked where her place was. I kicked at a stray rock in frustration and the clang of my shoe against stone triggered something I should have remembered.

“James, you can be such an idiot sometimes,” I said under my breath as I dug out my clipboard to read the name of the second delivery on my list.

“Sonata Dusk,” I read out loud, concentrating on the name like Luna had said to. “Sonata Dusk. C’mon magic, help me find Sonata Dusk.”

I must have been doing it right, because a moment later I felt a tugging on my right fore-hoof. Holding my leg out I waved the hoof around like an idiot with a toy radar dish. I must have looked stupid as hell but the tugging sensation got stronger when my hoof was aimed in a certain direction, so I guess stupid is as stupid does. Direction obtained, I headed off at a brisk trot.

This time I was on the trot for quite awhile and every few blocks I stopped again to get a bearing on my destination, slowing me down even more. Thankfully, my hoof led me in a consistent path into a commercial area of town and I started getting a lot more looks and stares. At one point I even had a cop jump in front of me and go, “Stop” in a loud voice.

“Hello,” I said, thinking fast and speaking in a neutral voice as I came to a stop. “I am an autonomous drone on a field test in self-navigation. Please do not interfere in the test unless it is an emergency.” I then stepped around the cop and continued down the street.

“Those kids over at Canterlot University sure take that horse mascot thing of theirs seriously,” I heard the cop say behind me. “All units, be advised. Calls regarding an unattended pony heading into the TimTam district of town should be directed to Canterlot U. Seems the kids are testing some kinda…” Whatever else the officer had to say faded out into the bustle of street sounds as I continued on my way, being careful to keep my movements as even as possible.

At long last I found myself in a commercial area of town that wasn’t quite upscale, and wasn’t quite run down either. Sort of an in-between, although the numerous gun and pawn shops gave me that wary feeling I’d felt before back home, when visiting East Side Pawn’s neighborhood. No one seemed to be looking right at me but I could feel more than a couple of appraising looks sizing me up. So, it was with some relief when the guide spell Luna had put on my hoof zeroed me in on a particular storefront.

“Canterlot Crops” read the sign over the door, and I made my way inside. As soon as I walked in the door I started getting nervous all over again. It was a sex shop, complete with racks and stacks of magazines, and a huge variety of things I’d only heard of, existing proudly displayed on the walls. This was truly a wretched hive of scum and villainy, I must be cautious.

“Can I help you?” said a pleasant female voice from over behind the counter. I peered around a stack of papers with mainly naked people on lurid, over top titles to see a slim, very pale woman looking down at me.

“Hi there,” I said, waving a hoof. “I know this might be a bit of a shock, but—”

“But you’re from Equestria, and you’ve come to find me,” the woman interrupted, the hair of her blue on blue ponytail bobbing up and down. She was super pretty, with a slim, well-shaped body with none of the attitude I would have expected from someone who worked in a shop like this.

“Yeah, how did you know?” I asked, approaching the counter. “That is, if your name is Sonata Dusk. If so, I’ve got a package for you.”

“A package, for me, from Equestria?” the woman asked. “Yah, my name is Sonata Dusk. You know, this is pretty lucky, I’ve written a letter I’ve been wanting to send back for awhile now. Can you take letters back?”

“Sure can,” I said, digging out my clipboard and the package for her. “Sign here please.”

“Okay,” Sonata said, taking the oblong package from me and signing my clipboard. “How long can you wait.”

“I’m pretty much open ended for time,” I told Sonata. “They told me to take as much time as I needed. I can likely stick around for an hour.”

The woman nodded as she began to rip open the package with a distinct lack of the style Captain Picard had shown when he’d opened the package I’d delivered to him. Wrapping was removed to reveal a bundle rolled up in what looked like black silk with a folded sheet of paper on it. Sonata paused in her cellulose slaughter and picked up the sheet of heavy, cream coloured paper. As she unfolded the parchment I caught a glimpse of elegant calligraphy written on it.

“To Sonata Dusk,” Sonata read aloud. “I am given to understand from a pony I trust, that you have taken up with my counterpart in your world, and that she has forgiven your past history. In that spirit, this package contains a gift for you which my counterpart should appreciate in the event we happen to share the same proclivities. Wear it in good health. Signed, Rarity of Ponyville, Canterlot and Manehatten. Postscript, if I learn that you have gone back to your evil ways and caused harm to my counterpart, Tartarus will not be deep enough to hide you from my wrath.”

“Well, that seemed a little direct,” I said, torn between seeing what was in the package and stepping back from someone who had “evil ways.”

“I wonder what she… oh,” Sonata said, unraveling the sheet of black silk to reveal a mass of slithering straps highlighted by the gleaming chrome of buckles and other hardware.

“What the heck is it?” I asked, drawing close in spite of myself. The whatever it was smelled of fresh new leather and there was a small box with it as well.

“It’s a bridle,” Sonata said, and I could hear the wonder in her voice. “It’s a bridle, but one made for a human.”

She held up the thing for me to look at, pale rose red, leather straps were joined together in a web that I could tell was meant to wrap around Sonata’s head. Each place where the straps joined there was a small silver seashell highlighting the spot, and along one of the broad straps there was a name embroidered in light blue thread.

“Twilight Serenade,” I read. I didn’t know jack about fetish gear, but even I could tell that the quality and manufacture of the bridle was the work of a master craftspony.

“I need to put this on,” Sonata said, coming around the counter. “I really need to know how this feels on me.” She strode over to the door and locked it, putting a sign on the door that said, “Back in 30 Minutes.” Sonata drew the front window blinds before heading back to me and the counter.

“What about your letter?” I asked, curiosity and other interests overriding what little good sense I had.

“Oh, I’ve had that ready to go for awhile now,” Sonata said, sitting down cross-legged beside me on the floor. “Put this on me, okay?”

“Uh,” I said, as my IQ began to drop for some reason. “You sure?”

“I can’t do this myself,” Sonata said, turning so her back was to me. “You’re a pony, you’re here and I need your help on this. Please?” Well, that pretty much was the end of my arguing, as I really never could say “No” anytime a woman asked for help. I’m kind of hardwired that way, so against my better judgement I grabbed the bridle and started doing my best to buckle it around Sonata’s head.

Sonata helped me as best she could, but I quickly saw what she meant by needing someone to put the bridle on her. It took us awhile to do it, but between hooves and hands we slowly got the thing in place, and her hair out of the way, except for the broad strap that went around her forehead that kept coming loose.

“You need to really cinch that one tight,” Sonata said, shaking her head, which was now elegantly framed by the mass of straps. “Reach up and have at it, I’ll tell you if it’s too much.”

“If you’re sure,” I said, and I reached up, leaning my torso against her back so I could stretch out my length and grab the end of the problem strap.

“Uhn,” Sonata moaned, while I pulled the bridle as tight as I dared. As I slipped the tongue of the buckle into a waiting grommet to secure it, Sonata suddenly bent forward and went on all fours. I tried to let go, but a lower strap on the bridle caught the underside of one of my horseshoes and made me part of the whole thing. Unable to get free, I was pulled forward as well, and was suddenly very conscious of the woman’s shapely rear pressing directly into my crotch. My body, thanks to Discord’s collar on me and absolutely no other reason, began to react appropriately, much to my embarrassment.

“Oh ya,” Sonata said, her voice going husky as her head was pulled back by my weight drawing back on the bridle strap. “That’s it. Breed—”

“Just what exactly is going on here?” asked a male voice from the entranceway that was filled with equal parts amusement and concern.

There was a man, standing in the doorway. Not a Redman, like you would read of as an old way to describe Native Americans, but a literal red man. His skin was a pale red, which contrasted well with the black slacks and tight white shirt he wore, but clashed terribly with his blue hair that was a match for Sonata’s. Sonata, who was still rocking back and forth with me dangling from her in more ways than one.

“Um, little help please?” I asked, and I could feel the heat coming from my cheeks.

“Sonata, you need to stop,” the man said, in a gentle voice as he walked up and I could see his eyes focus on my trapped hoof. “Sonata, your partner didn’t consent to this. You need to stop.”

“Don’t wanna,” Sonata said, her voice sounding like she wasn’t in the room with me and the other guy anymore. “Feels too good, he feels good.” My stupid body reacted a bit more to that. I tried to control it, but stuck as I was, I was along for Sonata’s ride, whether I wanted to be or not.

“Sorry,” I whimpered, my embarrassment growing and I turned my head away.

“Sonata, stop,” the man said, and his voice became firm. “You’re raping him.”

“What?” Sonata exclaimed, and froze as the man’s words finally penetrated Sonata’s lust hazed mind like a thunderbolt. “Oh no, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to.” Sonata started to get up, dragging me with her, but the man firmly put his hand on her shoulder and held her in place.

“Just stay there, Sonata,” the man said, nodding in understanding. “Your partner is caught up in that nice bridle you’ve got on, and he can’t get loose.”

“Nice save,” I said, feeling myself begin to calm down and more worried about Sonata than myself.

“Glad I was here to make it,” the man said, as he got my shoe disconnected from the bridle. “Name’s Spicy Hot, and you are?”

“James Allens,” I said, working my stretched shoulder a bit. “Equestrian Postal Ser—” The rest of my sentence was cut off as Sonata lunged over and hugged me to her.

“I’m sorry,” she cried, sniffling into my shoulder. “I’m really, really sorry. I didn’t mean to! I’m just a terrible person and I keep trying to be good and I just keep messing it up.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” I said, hugging her back. “Nothing major happened and it was an accident. I forgive you, okay?” “

“You sure?” Sonata said, still holding me to her. “I mean, really?”

“I’m sure,” I said, reassuring her. “It was an accident and to be honest, I should have known better.”

“You shouldn’t have had to know better,” Spicy said, and I could tell he was both relieved and a little angry. “Sonata, you’ve made a mistake today. A pretty big one.”

“I know,” Sonata said, her eyes downcast as she released me to sit kneeling on the floor.

“Where did you get that bridle from anyway?” Spicy asked, and I could see his own anger giving way to curiosity.

“It was a delivery for her,” I said, piping up. “That’s why I’m here. Delivery run.”

“So, this is what happens to people when they finish turning into ponies, eh?” Spicy said, looking at me speculatively.

“Pretty much,” I replied, and I put a hoof on Sonata’s shoulder. “Don’t be too hard on her, okay. It was a straight up mistake.”

“Maybe,” Spicy said, standing up to look down at me and Sonata. “But there do need to be some consequences. Oh, this has possibilities.” He reached over top of me and Sonata to grab a couple of things that had been left on the counter.

“What are you going to do?” Sonata asked, looking up at Spicy. “Whatever it is, I’ll take it. I messed up and I deserve it.”

“I’m not your master, Sonata,” Spicy said, his mouth quirking into a smile that looked good on him. “Your actual punishment will be at the hands of Rarity, but I think I can do something in the meantime. Close your eyes.”

Sonata did as she was told, kneeling at Spicy’s feet and I saw in his hand the small box that had come with the bridle. As he opened it I saw the gleam of metal as he reached in and began attaching silvery items to the piece of gear with several small clicks, which made Sonata gasp. After a minute he stepped back from her and I could see that the metal items were in fact several shell shaped locks which were now fastened in place, locking the bridle onto Sonata. She reached up and touched the locks for a moment, before a shy smile came to her face.

“This is more of a reward than a punishment,” Sonata said, smiling happily.

“I know that,” Spicy said, his own smile becoming wide now. “The keys stay with me until Rarity gets here and I have no doubt she actually will have a punishment for you. Now, as for you, my finely built pony. Are you okay?’

“I think so,” I said, flexing my hips to make sure everything was back where it was supposed to be. “Sonata here says she has a letter for me to take back.”

“She does, does she?” Spicy asked rhetorically, and he grabbed another item off the counter. With a couple of quick motions he clipped a set of reins to the bridle, dropping them so they lay against Sonata’s back. “Go get your letter, Sonata. We don’t want to keep this young man any longer than we have to.”

“Yes sir,” Sonata said, and in spite of myself my gaze locked itself to the butt that had been up against me a couple of minutes ago. “I’ll be right back.” As Sonata headed behind the counter and away to whatever was in the back areas of the store, Spicy turned and looked at me, quirking his eyebrow and smiling as he noticed I’d begun to “show’ a bit again.

“Young man, eh?” Spicy asked, to which I nodded. “Never been in a store like this?”

“No sir,” I said, shaking my head and taking a deep breath to bring myself back into control. “It’s a little intimidating to be honest.”

“Nothing to be scared of,” Spicy said, looking around. “Everything here is for the purpose of making people feel good. Either by themselves or with a willing partner.”

“Even stuff like that?” I asked, pointing to a wall nearly covered in various bits of bondage gear.

“Especially stuff like that,” Spicy said. “I noticed your reactions to Sonata, and I should let you know that she’s just gotten into a relationship. You know, considering you’re wearing a collar yourself I’m surprised you don’t know more about bondage gear.”

“It’s not for bondage,” I said, feeling my cheeks heat a bit again. “It’s a magic item, that’s all. But it’s got the side effect of making it hard for me to not react to female company when they're around.”

“You with anyone right now?” Spicy asked, his voice becoming concerned for me.

“I’m not sure,” I said, thinking back to the mayhem I had left behind at the depot. “There are a couple of mares I know. I owe both of them a lot, and they’re both good friends to me, but I think they might want something more.”

“Are you able to give them more?” he asked, and I got the feeling I wasn’t the first person or pony he’d talked about sex with.

“To be honest,” I said, clearing my head. “I don’t know. Maybe? I’m just starting to wrap my head around the idea that not one, but two mares might actually want me.”

“A good answer,” Spicy said, nodding his head to me. “And an honest one. It sounds to me that one way or the other you might be in a physical relationship soon. You ever had one before?”

“Yes!” I exclaimed, sputtering. “I’ve been with girls before. Lots of times.”

“Be honest with me, son,” Spicy said, his smile an understanding one. “How many have you been with, and do you know if you’re gay, straight, or whatever it is you prefer?”

“Two,” I said, in a small voice, “and I’m straight, but I’m trying to not be narrow about it.”

“Even better,” Spicy Hot said, clasping me on the shoulder. “Tell you what. In thanks for being so understanding about what happened with Sonata, go ahead and pick yourself something from the store. On the house, just tell your mares where you got it from. That’s all I’ll ask in payment.” I looked around at the bewildering variety of items on display.

“I wouldn’t even know where to start,” I said, trying to puzzle out what some of the things I could see were for.

“Tell you what, my young pony friend,” Spicy Hot said, and his smile became something wide and pleased. “Would you be willing to trust me to put together something of a surprise goodie bag for you?”

“You know,” I said, standing up and smiling back. “You got me out of what could have been a bad situation, go for it.”

“You won’t regret it,” Spicy said, and grabbed up an opaque plastic shopping bag. “Now don’t look, or there won’t be much of a surprise.” I turned my back, listening to Spicy Hot hum to himself as he went along his shelves. As I waited, I could hear him say things like “Oh, this is nice” and “He will definitely need some of this,” and once he gave a throaty chuckle that almost made me turn around. He was still at it when Sonata came back out, the locks on her bridle making chiming sounds as they swung back and forth.

“Here you are,” she said, handing me a very thick envelope that was labelled “My Confession and Apology to Equestria.”

“Sonata,” Spicy Hot called from where he was. “Can you grab me one of the ‘Treasure Chests’ from the rack.”

“Sure thing, boss,” Sonata said, stepping past me. “Who is it for?”

“Our young courier here,” Spicy said, from behind me. “Turns out he could use a few things.” I heard Sonata gasp as something rattled off the shelves.

“Are you sure he could handle one of those?” she asked Spicy. “I mean it’s nice, but wow.”

“That will be up to either of his mares,” Spicy Hot said, and I heard something close with a distinct snap.

“Either?’ Sonata asked, a bit of a giggle in her voice. “Oh that poor lucky stallion.”

“You can turn around now,” Spicy Hot said to me. “Your package is ready.” I turned to see him holding a small wooden chest that was about eight to ten inches a side and about six deep. As he handed the box to me I could see it had a small lock on it.

“This is too much,” I said, protesting as I heard several items in the box slide round. “I mean a couple of things would be nice, but this is over the top.”

“Ah ah,” Spicy Hot said, waving a finger at me. “Your understanding and forgiveness to Sonata earned you that and more. Plus, there are a ton of business cards for the shop in there as well. Your ‘Equestria’ could be an entirely new untapped market for me, so I can write it all off as advertising expenses.”

“Wow, thanks,” I said, knowing there was no way I could give the chest back as I stowed it in my saddlebag. “Well, guess I better get going.”

“Safe travels pony,” Spicy said, shaking my hoof.

“Tell the Princesses that at least one of the Sirens is sorry for her past,” Sonata said, kissing me on the forehead. “May your hooves always find the way home.”

“Until we meet again,” I said in farewell, and touching the medallion on my collar, I thought of Equestria and summoned the portal home.