The next morning was interesting as hell, I’ll tell you. The night nurses may not have said anything to me, or to Derpy, but someone said something to somepony. There was simply no way all those offers of “something extra to drink” were due to a need to quench my thirst. Derpy tried to talk to me over breakfast, but I was just too damn embarrassed to talk to her. I kept my replies to noncommittal grunts and refused to meet her gaze. What was I gonna say, “Oh, sorry that I’ve been friends with you? Turns out I got whammied by a spell to like you, and oh by the way, a princess rubbed me off last night, but you shouldn’t feel inadequate or anything.”

The capper was when the mare who got me into a wheelchair for my morning therapy visit asked me if I had anywhere to stay once I got out of hospital.

“Not really, no,” I had told her, as we rolled through the halls. “I figure Discord has something set up. Some sort of bunkhouse at the least.”

“Well, if he doesn’t let me know,” she’d replied, as we turned into the physio room. “I’d love to play host to a stallion with your... capabilities.” I just sat there in shock as she passed me over to the mare in charge of helping me get my unruly body back in control, not saying anything until the orderly had left.

“Um, hi,” I said, to the physiotherapy mare. Once again, I felt the impossible surge of lust wash over me and try to settle into my hips. Only this time thanks to Luna, I was armed with the knowledge that the desire wasn’t real and I mercilessly clubbed the emotion down before it could get too large a hold on me. It wasn’t an easy fight. The therapist was a gorgeous brown unicorn with a yellow mane, done up in a tight spiraling braid. She was lithe and lean, and I could see strong muscles beneath her coat that could pull a stallion close while...

Let’s just say that I might not have won the fight without the weapon of knowledge Luna had given me.

“Good morning,” the unicorn pony said in a cheery voice, as she bent toward me, a tangle of broad straps held in her magic. “I’m Long Strides, and we’re going to be getting some work done today.”

“Hi,” I said right back, noticing that her ears were both locked forward on me like radar dishes tracking an incoming missile. “I’m James, and I’m guessing you’re gonna help me start moving as something other than a twitchy mess of limbs.”

“You’ve never had physiotherapy before, have you?” Strides said as she lifted me up bodily in her aura like a sack of flour, floating me up onto a padded table.

“Nope,” I said back in reply, letting myself go limp so Long Strides could do whatever it was she needed to do to me. “Never needed it before, at least not in my other body.”

“I can tell,” Strides said, with a chuckle. “You can always tell when you get a patient you’re going to enjoy working with.” My emotions sort of did a little flip and the lust tried to stage a comeback, as Strides started wrapping the wide straps of the harness around my body, stimulating various nerves.

“Um,” I said, trying to not have it come out as a squeak. “What makes you say that?”

“You’re trying to keep yourself limp, to help me,” she said, her muzzle very close to mine, as she finished securing the harness around me. “It’s very nice of you, it’s kind and it tells me you’re willing to work with me, instead of against me. You need to stop doing that.” Then, to punctuate her words, she swatted me on the ass, hard enough to sting and causing me to jerk a bit in reflex.

“Hey!” I protested, in surprise more than anything else. “What the hell was that for?”

“I need you to move as often and as much as possible,” Long Strides said, humour in her voice. “I need honest, physical reactions from you. Even if they aren’t what you want them to be, and you need to use that body of yours as much as you can, as often as you can. Keeping yourself from moving defeats the entire purpose of you being here.”

“Did you need to whack me on the butt to make your point?” I asked, waving a forehoof in a wobbling arc toward my still stinging ass.

“Oh, I didn’t need to,” Strides said, chuckling as she clipped my harness to a winch of some sort. “I wanted to. First, because I thought it would drive the point home, and second because it let me check the reflexes of your lower spine.” Then the winch began to whirl, lifting me into the air as I thought about what Long Strides had just said.

“So, you’re kind of saying practice makes perfect?” I asked, as I was carried through the air toward a shallow pool at one end of the room.

“Exactly,” Long Strides said, her voice warm and pleased. “Right now for example, don’t just hang there like a lump. Try to curl your legs up against your body.” She stopped the winch with me hanging just above the water, giving me an expectant look while my hooves just barely touched the surface. I tried to do as she asked, and my forelegs did curl loosely up against my body, my rear legs though, twitched and spasmed, futilely kicking the air when they should have been neat packages.

“Oh, well done,” she praised, and I lifted an eyebrow while opening up a fresh can of snark.

“Oh yeah, just glorious,” I said, and I sounded bitter even to me. “I can’t sit properly, holding a drink needs the help of a foal, half my body won’t listen to me, and the other half barely does anything.”

“Had your moment?” Long Strides asked, wading into the shallow pool and triggering the winch to lower me so that my barrel was just touching the surface of the warm water.

“Yeah,” I said, feeling more than a little embarrassed at snarking at someone who was just trying to help. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay,” Long Strides said, and I could feel her lightly squeezing my leg muscles one at a time as she spoke. “Every patient has at least one moment like that, and most have several. As long as you’re in this room with me you’re allowed to swear, curse me out, cry on my shoulder, or anything else you feel the need for. Do you feel up to hearing my assessment of you based on your file and what I’ve seen just now?”

“Sure,” I said, still feeling a little down. “This whole gig has been a lot harder than I thought it would be, and I haven’t even really started yet, so what’s one more obstacle?”

“Are all former humans so whiney?” she said, and as I shot a glance at her I could see her smile telling me she was kidding. “Hey, I said you could vent on me, I didn’t say I wouldn’t throw some back. Here’s the bare bones of it. You’re going to be fine.”

“What?” I asked, not really believing her, but wanting to at the same time. “How the hell can you say that?”

“While your muscles aren’t responding in a coordinated manner,” she said, and her face became a mask that said “doctor,” no matter the species, “they are responding. What’s more, from what your file says, your mind is beginning to coordinate with your body. The muscles are learning to fire in the proper order and in the proper groups, it's simply a matter of practice.”

“Seriously?” I asked. I really wanted to believe her now, but this almost sounded too good to be true.

“Seriously,” she said, putting a wet hoof on my shoulder and looking me right in the eye. “Keep working with me and you’ll be standing on your own in a couple of days, walking by the end of the week and running by the week after that. You’re a fit, healthy stallion and I’m going to help you learn to move with the speed and strength of your breed. As Celestia is my witness, I'll see to it that you learn how to enjoy the power inherent in an Earth Pony body.”

I knew she was using a ploy to lift my spirits, saying what she thought I wanted to hear to pump up my morale after my earlier whining. Right then though, I didn’t really care. I’d taken some heavy hits to my self-esteem lately, and it did me more good than I thought it would, for someone to confidently tell me I was going to be alright.

“Okay then,” I said, deciding to just go with feeling good for right now. “What say we get to work then?” I could go into the whole training montage thing, but suffice it to say that I worked my furry butt off for the next two hours. Afterwards I got wheeled to a cafeteria, where little Dinky joined me. Sadly, despite the morning’s progress I still needed her help with some things, especially things that weren’t right at the table. We sat together in companionable silence, eating our meals as the hospital bustled around us.

“James, are you mad at my momma?” Dinky said, out of the blue. I looked at the adorable little filly who had been my helper, and the sadness I saw on her face could have gotten a statue to hug her.

“Um, what makes you say that?” I asked her, hoping I hadn’t insulted her mother too massively with my... emission. Those damn nurses must have said something to Derpy, or hinted at something. Derpy was a smart mare, she probably figured it—

“Momma says you won’t talk to her,” Dinky said, neatly amputating my thoughts. “You wouldn’t even look at her this morning. Why don’t you like my Momma anymore?” Dinky’s lower lip trembled and my mind started scrambling to find a way, any way, to keep her from crying.

“Dinky, it’s not like that,” I said desperately, and I could see the beginnings of tears in her eyes. “I did something really embarrassing in my sleep last night, and well, I don’t know how or if I want to talk to her about it.”

“Did you fart in your sleep?” Dinky said, cocking her head quizzically at me. “Momma said you smelled funny this morning.”

My mind’s eye flashed to Derpy’s face, particularly her nose, and I realized that the nose of a pony must be far more sensitive than that of a human. Derpy didn’t have to see what had happened. No one had to tell her about it because she had smelled it off of me. Combine that with my not talking to her while I tried to sort out my feelings and Derpy was getting so many mixed signals from me she was likely getting whiplash.

“Well,” I said, to Dinky after a long pause, “it’s partly that and partly some other stuff. But I’m not mad at your mom, not even a little bit. Okay?”

“You should talk to her,” Dinky said, in that serious voice kids get, when they slide past all the defences us adults have to nail us dead center with universal truths.

“I... will. I promise,” I said, holding up a remarkably steady hoof. “I’ll talk to her this afternoon when I get back from my afternoon physio.”

“Pinkie Promise?” Dinky asked, still in that super serious voice.

“I can’t make a pinkie promise,” I said, and you would have thought I’d kicked Derpy from the way Dinky’s face fell. “I don’t have pinkie fingers anymore.”

“Fingers?” I heard a voice behind me ask, in a tone of voice that set off every prey instinct I had. “Did you say ‘fingers’?” A mint green unicorn I hadn’t seen before came into my line of sight, and for the first time I didn’t feel a surge of lust when meeting a new mare. I felt like a rabbit in front of a fox.

“Hello, Miss uh—” I began, not trying to extend a hoof.

“Lyra,” the newcomer said, “Lyra Heartstrings, you said something about fingers?”

“Yes,” I said, not sure why this mare was setting off my alarm bells. But honesty is always the best policy, because if nothing else, it means fewer things to keep track of. “I was telling little Dinky here that I no longer have my pinkie fingers.”

“WAIT,” Lyra declared in a loud voice, rearing upwards. “You had fingers? How? When? You have to tell me!”

“If you will calm down a bit,” I said, in a level voice. “I’ll be more than happy to tell you. But if you can’t get a grip, I’ll have to ask you to leave. You’re scaring Dinky.” Lyra looked to my lap, where sure enough, little Dinky was doing her best to hide from the scary mare.

“Oh, oh, I’m sorry,” Lyra said, grimacing a bit in embarrassment. “It’s just that I’ve always wanted to actually see hands, or a human, for so long. Everypony used to tell me they were imaginary, but then we found out about the mirror in Twilight’s castle and the humans there, and—”

“Whoa girl,” I said, cutting Lyra off before she got too wound up again. “I’m just a transformed human, learning how to use a pony body.” A strange light came into Lyra’s eyes, and I got that twitchy feeling again.

“Please,” Lyra said, quietly begging me. “I’ve waited so long to hear about humans. Talk to me about humans and I’ll do anything you ask.”

“Dinky,” I said, to my little helper, “I think it’s time you headed back to your mother. Let her know that I promise to have a chat with her as soon as possible.” Dinky didn’t want to get out of my lap, but she was smart enough to know that there was adult talk going on. So, she gave me a quick hug and headed for the door. Lyra waited until Dinky had gone before she spoke again.

“I’m sorry,” Lyra apologized again, and I could see both desperation and sadness in her eyes. “But I’ve been laughed at and mocked for years for believing humans even existed, and to have one sitting right here in front of me. I wasn’t kidding when I said I’d do anything for you, if you will just tell me about humans.”

“Okay, I will,” I said, and Lyra seemed to relax and began to offer me her hoof to seal our deal. “But not right now.”

“What do you mean?” Lyra asked, stopping herself as she stood beside me. “Please don’t tease me.”

“Two reasons, why not right now,” I said, as calmly as I could. “First, I have a therapy appointment to go to shortly, and secondly, I promised another mare I would have a chat with her. That said, would you be willing to make a deal with me?”

“I agree,” Lyra said, instantly. “Tell me everything, and I’ll give you...everything.”

“Rein it in a bit, girl. I don’t need your body, I need your mind,” I said, leaning forward a bit, as Lyra looked back at me quizzically. “I need someone to act as my agent here in Equestria. Somepony to buy me the things a pony needs to have, somepony to help me house hunt when the time comes. Somepony to help me with all the little things a newcomer needs.”

“And in return for this?” Lyra asked, beginning to smile, and I heard a couple of conversations fire up in the background.

“In return, you will meet me for lunch every day,” I said to her with a smile. “You will ask me a question about humans, and I will do my level best to answer it to the best of my ability. Fair enough?” Lyra’s eyes glittered again.

“Five questions,” she said, obviously recovering her pride and not wanting to sell her services cheaply.

“One question,” I shot back instantly. I’d seen that stupid pawn shop show enough times to pick up a few things.

“Three questions,” Lyra said, compromising.

“Two questions,” I said, giving a bit of ground myself.

“Done,” she said, extending her hoof. It took me a bit of doing, but I managed to bump hooves with her.

“My name is James, by the way,” I told her, noticing her curves for the first time.

“James,” Lyra said, savouring my name, as she got up. “Tomorrow then, my human stallion.” I hadn’t thought she’d noticed me noticing her, but the extra bounce in her hips and sway of her tail told me she had. Stupid libido on stupid overdrive.

Dinky never came back for the rest of lunch, but that was okay. I wasn’t all that hungry anymore anyway, and she’d left my drink glass with a straw in it so tanking up on liquid wasn’t a problem. An orderly came and got me about ten minutes later to take me back to my afternoon session with Long Strides. We had a really productive afternoon together, I even managed to stand up. Okay, let’s be honest here, by stand I mean have my hooves touching the bottom of the pool in a semi-controlled manner while I was supported by the harness and buoyed up by the water.

“For a first day, that’s some real progress,” Long Strides said. “We’ll pick up tomorrow, same time. Let’s get you rinsed off and I can take you back to your room for dinner.” Getting cleaned off reminded me of the previous night’s mis-adventures in dreamland.

“Sounds good, but hey, you’ve read my file, right?” I asked, as Long Strides winched me out of the pool.

“You’re a person from another world, transformed by Discord into a pony,” Long Strides said, confirming my suspicions. “Your nerve connections got scrambled in the change, but otherwise your muscles and nerves are all intact.”

“Okay, so anyway, last night I had a bit of an accident...” I trailed off, not really sure how to keep going, but so far Long Strides had been nothing but encouraging and professional with me, so I felt safe opening up a bit to her.

“Ya, I heard about that,” Long Strides said, noticing my embarrassment. “The princess told everypony to keep it private, and while they didn’t tell anyone outside the hospital or any of the patients, you certainly were the talk of the staff room.”

“Uh yeah, so you know I don’t really know much about being a pony, yet,” I said, trying to work around the subject. “I kinda wanted to know how... noticeable that was to others. Am I, kinda sorta, giving off some kind of signal that I want to be with a girl, I mean mare?”

“OH...” Long Strides said, in realization, “and you don’t want to...” It was her turn to trail off her sentence.

“Nope, not yet anyway,” I said. “I mean sure, maybe down the road once I’ve gotten this body of mine to listen to me, but not now.”

“Ya, you were smelling like you wanted sex when you came in here,” Long Strides said, grinning a bit. “Don’t think I didn’t appreciate the reaction, but I’m a professional. So, for both our sakes, I got you into the pool as quick as I could.”

“Thanks,” I said, meaning it. “I don’t think Luna’s going to do what she did to me again, but just in case, is there anything I can do to stop the uh, after effects?”

“I’ll swing by your room and drop off a spritzer of perfume later,” Long Strides said, putting a hoof on my shoulder. “It will be a little frou-frou, but it will cover up any future... emissions.”

“It can smell as girly as anything,” I said, as Long Strides finished rinsing and toweling me off. “Just as long as it keeps everypony from wanting to jump my bones.” Long Strides laughed and began to settle me into my wheelchair. My body felt tired and loose, but it also felt like it was mine for the first time since I had been in this body. It felt good, and it kept feeling good right up to the point where Long Strides got me back to my room. Derpy wasn’t there anymore.

“Hey, where’s Derpy?” I asked Long Strides, as she settled me back into my bed.

“I have no idea,” Long Strides said, making sure I had a couple of drinks available. “I’m done for the day, so before I get you that perfume sprayer, I’ll ask around, okay?”

I nodded my thanks and sunk into my thoughts as Long Strides left. I still wasn’t entirely sure what I felt for Derpy. Was it friendship, was it love, was it lust, was it even real, or was it something that had been pushed on me? I had to find out one way or the other which it was, because if nothing else the lunch time conversation with Dinky had proven that doing nothing wasn’t an option.

I mulled that over all through dinner and into the evening. The hospital book cart came by offering me some books, but another problem became rapidly apparent. Equestrian wasn’t English. Something in my transformation had obviously gave me the ability to understand the spoken language of ponies, but their writing was a whole different story. The best way to describe it was as a mix between Cyrillic and Viking runes. The old green mare pushing the book cart took pity on me.

“It’s all right, young feller,” she said to me. “Not every earth pony learns how to read either, and it can get mighty dull if yer laid up. Here yeh go, sonny.” She put a stack of picture books on the little end table by the bed, put an apple on top of the stack and waved goodnight to me. Long Strides came by a little after that, perfume sprayer in hand, I mean hoof.

“So, I found out about Derpy,” Long Strides said, and I perked up from the book I was looking at. A book, I might add, I was holding in my hooves, which my physical therapist smiled at. “They moved her to the outpatient ward, seeing as her infection is getting knocked down in a hurry. If all goes well, she’ll be discharged tomorrow.”

“Any chance you could get me over to see her?” I asked. “I think I might have hurt her feelings and I want to clear things up between us.”

“Damn,” Long said, rubbing her chin with a hoof. “Everypony knows Derpy and no one wants to see her hurt, but things are shutting down for the night. It’s going to have to wait until the morning.”

“Crap, thanks for letting me know at least,” I said, sniffing the perfume. It was just as girly as she had warned me it would be.

“Glad to help, I’ll see you tomorrow as well,” Long Strides said, turning to leave. “Oh, and it’s good to see you with books. That’s good exercise for working on your stability and dexterity. Keep it up.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” I said, shooting off a sketchy salute. It wobbled a bit, but by all the gods, it did what I told it to do. Long Strides just grinned back and headed out the door. I read, well picture scanned, for the next hour or so. After that I was tired, in body, mind and heart, so sleep came quickly. So quickly in fact, that I never really noticed the transition from barely awake to dreaming asleep.

“There he is girls, get him!” a female voice shouted, startling me. I was on a little street, quaint houses on either side of me, the sky clear and sunny. Oh yes, and there was also a mob of mares closing in on me from the far end of the road I was on. They were all running in my direction carrying an array of ropes, bridles and saddles. A few were even waving signs that read “Equestria needs Stallions!” I did what any red-blooded, testosterone fueled male would do when confronted with something like this.

I ran like hell.

Author's Note

I'm still pretty under the weather here, and doing my final edit pass to get this out pushed me back toward some hot fluids. So, a very short afterword here.

Once again, my humble thanks to my editors who had to put up with more than the usual amount of missed and misused words from me.

Thanks guys, you're the best.