“So, thou are telling me, that you simply walked through the doorway, and found thyself in my throne room? “

“Well, yeah. I mean, it's sure as hell not like I tried to find this place. I was just going on a smoke break when next thing you know a large alabaster Alicorn is crying in what was SUPPOSED to be my break room.”

Walking back to the door, I proceeded to try and open the door and close it multiple times, hoping that one time I wouldn't be faced with a small closet full of cleaning supplies. As much as they brought me familiarity , they didn't bring me comfort, and they sure as hell didn't bring me home.

“So… Any idea how to send me home? It's not like I have much back there, but I sure as hell don't really have anything holding me here either.”

“NO! Er… I mean, I know no such way to send you to wherever your home is. Maybe, you could stay here? Atleast until I find a way to send you back?”

“Sure I suppose,” I can't help but pull out another smoke, light it, and sit back onto the ground with my hands in my work belt. “Any idea how long this'll take? I've kinda got a job to do.”

The large Alicorn sat down next to me, trying to cover me with one of her wings before the smoke forces her to back off. “Surely you don't need to use those blasted sticks all the time, do you?”

“Ehhh not really. But it helps me feel significantly less stressed. I'm in a different world apparently, and I've no idea how to get back.” I leaned back and stared up at the still dark ceiling. Wafts of smoke trailing upward, making obscure shapes in the darkness above me.

“So, since I'm pretty much boned, what can I do around here? I mean, I was a simple janitor and maintenance man back where I came from, what the hell am I supposed to do now?”

“Well, who is to say that you should stop? Surely you would wish to work here the same? Of course, being a foreign creature, you don't truly have to work, I could give you a monthly stipend to pay for whatever needs that thou-”

“Stop that.”

“Stop what?”

“Saying ‘thou’ and stuff like that. Why do you even do that anyway? The rest of your words are fine.”

A faint pink hue colored the Alicorn's face, “Well, the reason is because of my sister. When she was still here, we spoke in an older dialect, but we as a race have moved onto a much simpler way of speaking.”

Snuffing out the used cigarette on my toolbelt, I started to take off my tools and then the belt. A cacophony of clinking and jostling filled the already deadly quiet room as I struggled to undo the damn belt. For years, I’ve been using this tool belt; it was passed down from my grandfather who was a repairman.

The sound of windchimes met my ears as a glow surrounded the buckle of the belt and easily undid it.

“The hell's goin on here?”

“What do you mean? You appeared to be struggling, so I wished to help you.”

“Don’t. Don’t touch my belt.” I harshly reprimanded her. To which her ears fell back and she shied away.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend thee.”

“You didn’t, but this belt means a lot to me. I’ve had this baby for years, and I haven’t let anyone touch it. If they do, I break their hand.”

It was clear that she didn’t know what a hand was, but she wasn’t going to gain my ire over something that small.

“If it means that much to you, maybe I can do something to help you. With my magic I can make it unbreakable.”

I stopped fiddling with my belt and tools. I didn’t want anyone to mess with my belt, but the opportunity to make it unbreakable? That was an offer I couldn’t pass up.

“Y-you would do that? For me?” It was strange, I barely knew this Alicorn for an hour, but I was already going to trust her with something this special.

“For you my dear friend, I would do anything…” She said, enveloping my belt with her magical aura. I tried to ignore the clear euphemism, but was entranced by the glow enveloping my belt, causing it to float in the air. After a light flash, she set it back down on the ground. “There, now your belt should be fine, nothing light of a deadly spell will destroy it. I swear on my magic, it will be safe.”

I held up the belt, inspecting it with a critical eye. I couldn’t help but cry, it meant so much to me. This belt was all I had left of my grandfather, I’ve kept it safe and used it for years, and now it would probably outlast me. I wrapped my arms around the Alicorn, shocking her with my quick embrace. I cried, harder than I thought I would. This simple mare, had done something for me that no one else could.

I swore I would repay her, no matter the cost.

Rounding the corner of the hall, I was met with one helluva sight. The entire floor was trashed, like a group of bulls wrecked the place. At the end of the hall was the same mare from before. She was knocking stuff over, scuffing up the floor, and just making a complete mess of the place.

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING TO MY FLOOR!?” I screamed, running up to the mare as she tried to backpedal away from my advancing form.

“GUARDS! GUARDS HELP ME! I’M BEING ATTACKED!”

As she yelled, two royal guards rounded the corner, brandishing their weapons. They took one look at the situation. The trashed hall, the terrified mare, and the eternal fury radiating from my eyes. The glare I gave them told them to fuck off, and fuck off they did.

“Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope.” They both said backing up around the hall. If there's one thing they learned, it's to never disturb Mister Clean when he was cleaning, and ESPECIALLY don’t dirty my floors.

“Guards! Where are you going?! Don’t leave me, help!”

“And why should they help you, Missss?” I said, grabbing her by her horn and drawing out the ‘s’.

She was terrified, she knew she had fucked up. “W-what are you going to do to me?”

“Oh, trust me… I’ve got MAJOR plans for you, little pony.”

After about an hour of work both her and I were standing at the end of the hall. The pots were replaced, the floor was swept and cleaned, and I had her scrub out the scuffs she made on the floor.

“There you go, pony; now you know how much hard work it is to keep this place clean.”

The mare was exhausted, apparently she had never done work this hard in her life. Either she was one of the most sheltered ponies in this land, or ponies have just gotten lazier since I arrived.

“How… in… Tartarus… do you… do… this… every day?” She asked between pants.

Patting her on the head I said, “Well, ponies usually don’t come in and trash the place. So tell me, what's your name, miss?

“Its Spoiled Milk, and I wish to apologize. I did all of this without thinking, I was just so angry after you insulted me. I didn’t know what to do, so I just got angry and lashed out.”

Petting the mare on her head, rubbing my fingers through her purple hair, I offered her to come join me on my break. “What say you and I go down to the kitchen and get a drink? I don’t know about you, but I’m beat now. And maybe after, I can help you with your problem as well.”

“You would do that? After all the trouble I caused you?”

“Well, you made up for it by helping me clean, even if it wasn’t technically voluntary. Now c’mon, let's go down to the kitchen and talk about it.”

We walked to the kitchen in silence. Spoiled had her head down the entire time, just staring at the floor.

“So, Spoiled, tell me about your bunny problem. If it sounds easy enough, I'll go and help make your fence myself.

“That’s… That’s too much. I could never ask you to do that, not after what I did.”

You could see the guilt in her eyes, but under that guilt was a cold calculating stare. “Don't worry about it, I've pretty much got nothing to do here anyway. It'll give me a chance to take a break and visit family.”

“You have family? But, I've never seen another creature like you before.” Her guilty look was replaced with one of curiosity.

“Yeah, turns out I can't have kids, or foals in your case, but there's too many kids out there without families.”

“I'm not sure I understand, what do you mean?”

“Are you really that dense? I adopted a filly, plain and simple. I’ve adopted a couple actually. Got enough bits to keep them supported to their great grandfoals.”

“Wow, that’s… That's nice of you.” Her guilty look returns.

“Ehh, it's nothing special. Little filly needed a father figure, I just happened to be able to step in. Now back to our problem, your bunny infestation?”

“Oh, right, right… “

I could tell she wanted to ask more questions, but I wasn't really in the mood to tell this mare my life story.

“It's actually simple, a group of bunnies keep coming into my garden and destroying everything.”

“That’s it? Well, then we don't have much to worry about.”

“And why is that?”

“‘Cus all I have to do is build a fence around your garden. That'll take me MAYBE an hour. If that.”

“Alright; well, thank you, Mister Clean. And when can we do this?”

“All I hafta do is talk to the Princess. After that I can take a couple days off. So with this-” I held up my drink, a glass of Scotch that I kept hidden in each kitchen in the castle, and downed the glass. “Now, time to request a week off.”

With that I left the mare behind. She was a grown pony, she could make her way out of the castle.

I stopped in my tracks.

“Shit, I never asked where she lived.”

Author's Note

Shit, I fully planed on making this a oneshot, but so many people seem to like it, it seems I have to continue writing this.

Thanks for all the likes and favs I suppose. I dont know how writers make chapters 5000 words or more.