The Equinox Battle Royal

The highly anticipated gladiator match between the monarchs Celestia and Luna and the highly efficient noble Chris Licht will consist of two defining rounds, and contain as followed

Round 1: One-Vs-All

In this lineup, any and all personal can choose the enter the arena against Chris, either solo or in a team, they will be given a full hour to attempt to take down Chris, using any methods they see fit. However, loss of limbs, skeletal structure, organs, soul, or all of the above is expected, so enter at your own risk

Round 2: Royal Clash

After round 1, the final round will be a tag-team against Chris, where Celestia and Luna may use whatever methods they see fit to eliminate Chris from the arena, however, the same can be said for Chris. The round will only end once one side has been defeated, or the arena falls off the mountain, order doesn't matter

"Well, they certain know how to care less about loss of lives in this place. I approve." I spoke to no one in particular, as my eyes moved from the sheet in front of me, and onto the massive arena ahead of me, to which I whistled at this world's attempts to make their architectural designs near perfect. "'Upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of Hades will not overpower it'....well I guess i'll be making a gate to hell, but that's alot of damage control."

*Here's an image since I'm bored*

Ok, I know seeing a battle between rulers is fan-fucking-tastic but this is rather much....I say this, and from the looks of both the stands and walls, everyone from across the world is here, hell, they even had some levitating in the air to grab the best view of the slaughter. But my view was on the many 'champions' that wanted a piece of me, quite literally since I saw diamond dogs too.

"-Are you even listening?" What-No-oh yeah, Swift's ranting again, judging by both her frustrated look, and the fact that her eyes were glowing like the Taken slightly was a dead give away

"Sorry, you lost me at...well you never had me in the first place. Repeat?" I answered, as Spike rolled his eyes in the background, groaning at my negligence, mostly likely due to the fact he has to listen to her again. I feel your pain, even if I can't physically do that

"Ok, because I know you won't listen again, just try not to kill anyone, its a fight, not a war." What's the difference? "Don't question me, I know you're thinking it." Shit. "Just...try."

"Meh, they're all monkeys and typewriters. But fine, last thing I need is another race being up my ass about 'global annihilation'." Lets be honest, I could honestly care less with what happens to anyone, they signed their fates when they jumped into the ring

"Right-o! Swifty, Spike, grab a seat and sit near the front, for this will be a splash zone!" With that said, I made my way towards the light and the roaring for the sound of beautiful violence

*Introduction Theme*

Standing among a crowd of people who actually 'liked' me, or just want to see someone thrown around like a ragdoll. But judging by the massive amount of head trauma i'm receiving is certainly noticeable. Then, the sound of...wood and bone conjoining in a failed relationship, where sex was the only thing that mattered came through the microphone system.

"Sup, bitches!" Oh for fuck's sake. "Sadly, your last commentator was....indisposed, so I will be taking the metaphorical reins for this autistic match-up, that I totally didn't set up for my own curiosity and boredom!"

"Now! Allow me to explain the regulations of the first match, that, and I know no-one here read the rules." Loki muttered, before clearing his throat. "First of, once you enter into the ring, even during the match, the only way out is either by painful torture to the point that you'll be begging to die, or you win . . . HAHAHAHAHAHA....oh yeah, you're all fucked...."

"The second, and only other rule, any infighting and I'll be sending you to hell." For some reason, everything went dead silent, even crickets were playing in the distance....it was getting rather awkward. "I-i'm being serious, one SINGLE misstep, and I'll send every gnat in this fuck-pit to the depths of brimstone and pride, since my brother is down there."

After the ringing in my bleeding ears died down, I saw Loki rubbing the sides of his temples, before he clicked his fingers once, before the roar of a war-horn tore through the mumbles in the crowd, then, he tapped the mic again. "Begin."

*Stop Music Bitches*

Cries of warfare rang a chorus once more, funnily enough, it was fun, the fact that most expect me to be some low-life snobbish playboy, yet, I'm a highly mutated....thing, with the powers to rival the moon, a whole range on mountains, a civilization and end some. Welp, guess I should make this atleast a bit more pleasurable. So, I fumbled through my interdimensional pockets, as many warriors leapt into the ring, all itching to make the first move.

"Ah, there it is." I said to no one in particular, as I found a small device that literally read the word 'Play', yet somehow I could tell what it was willing to play for me, and for once, a smile crept onto my twisted face as I pressed the button down, placing the device back in my pocket

"Stand back, comrades! For I shall slay this monster!" Oh first blood, when I turned around with a smile and gleam in my eyes, my hands moving to the beat of the song that played for the world before me. The man was clad in silver armour, a zweihander between his fingers, then he charged. "Have at thee!"

The first step he made was ultimately his last, as my dancing hands pointed up with two index fingers, before a massive pillar of rock flew from under the man, launching his body far from the arena, and off into the distance, allowing everyone to watch the silver star fly past them with an audible gasp. Then I saw Swift face-palm in irritation, whist Spike cheered on, whist the main 6 looked really, 'really' stunned.

"Don't stop me now!" I sung with a grin, as multiple raid parties came at me, as my right leg stayed in place, twisting my body round to kick to across the neck, knocking them into the sandy dunes, before my knee shattered, allowing me to bend down completely, my right foot planted firmly in place, before I shot up, shattering the mace above my body, and puncturing the helmet of the man with the shards

I then turned around to face the three that remained, all shaking in fear, before my entire body coursed with arc light, before I conjured an arc staff, the electrical staff touching one of their shoulders lightly, before the three convulsed with spacial lightning, smoke rising from their bodies as the fell over in a heap.

The next thing to stop before my face was blazing ball of fire, as I watched the sky alight with an orange hue, a mix of all types of fires, but not a single one moved, since my hand was placed before the first, whist the mages before me tried to force their attacks to move, only to met with failure, so I clicked my fingers, before all the orbs of fire flew back towards their casters.

"AND LIKE THAT, ANOTHER MATCH, ANOTHER BATCH OF SUCKERS!!!"

Once the smoke cleared, I watched as....Griffons, oh shit.

"You! You'll pay for what you've done to our kind!" Oh yeah, that was me

"What's wrong, feeling homesick?" I mused, the remaining flames gathering in my hands, then in a flash of ash and fire, two simple, flaming katanas now rested in my hands, but I could feel the blacklight scream in irritation at the contact, as an aura of black gas leaked away from my palms, and my face. I even conjured a blade in my jaw, my teeth now clenched down on the brimstone handle

"T-Three swords!?" One of the survivors muttered, but the one in front grunted, before releasing a battle cry as the crafters-dozen moved in unison around me

"Well, anyone infront of Chris, move seats now." Loki warned

Santoryu Senhachiju Pound Ho

Within a flash of steel between my fingers and maw, the eight remaining Griffons were now out cold on the sand beneath my feet, the crowd was speechless as I heard the sound of limbs dropping to the sand, along with blood-soaked weapons rang before me. But the worst sound yet, was the crashing of rock and steel, as a portion of the arena fell off the mountain-side, sending rock and debris flying into the valley below.

Once my work was done, the flames turned to ash before me, as the blacklight that tried to escape finally stopped, and I was left with a few dozen opponents who were either scared shitless or fell into the ring by accident and were trying desperately to claw back out.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING!?" Wait...was that, no. My body turned again, as the blacklight bone snapped to turn 180 degrees, only for two pink eyes to burrow into me like a rabbit on speed, not gunna like, if I had blood, it be cold as ice

"What, you said 'not' to kill anyone, and I didn't!" I countered, before I pointed to the griffons. "The flames sealed the wounds so no harm down!"

"Do it again and I make sure Ruin can't fucking fix you!" Swift countered, and for once, I didn't reply, that, and a spear was currently rupturing my wind pipe. But God damn she makes me proud, seriously, since when did she ever threaten me? 'Cause, last I checked. She. Was. A. Maid.

"Do you mind...?" I asked, the spear snapping between the blacklight in my neck, before I turned to face the man. "Trying to have a conversation."

But the masked man paid no heed, and swung a dagger from his cloak, but it was easily knocked away by a twisted, black tail, as the point of my xenomorph tail pointed directly at the man's throat, but he didn't move an inch, hell, he didn't even blink.

"Damn, you got balls for someone with no weapon..." I mused, before my tail moved away from his neck. Before my eyes narrowed like a hunter. "Now I'm gunna make you my bitch."

Another second more, maybe he would have survived, but my tail quickly twisted around his leg, before I easily flung his body into another challenger, pinning both to the wall to my left. My tail retracted, blocking a blow from a cryomancer, but I watched as my tail froze on contact, before I pulled it back, staring down at my now stiff tail. So, I did the only thing necessary, besides inserting an erection joke.

I grabbed the frozen limb, before I snapped it off my body, then, I lunged the frozen tail towards the cryomancer like a spear, the blade knocking the staff from the girl's hand, pinning the staff against the sand. Only for the mage to conjure up another one in its place.

"Ok, so what's your saying?" I asked with a bored look, before a few more cold motherfuckers appeared before me

"We only wish to cleanse this world of you and the shadow that roams this world." The leader most likely, spoke

"Ever tried using bleach?" I muttered, before their staffs began to glow with magic, but I was still in a more bored state now, so I sat still as they fried their blasts of elemental magic towards me. Once contact was made, my body quickly rearranged my cells, converting the magic and breaking down all weaker forms to the their purist forms, leaving the more dominant magical ether for me to absorb to my mouth

*IIZ SLEN NUS*

From sand to ice. By the time I stopped breathing a wave of arctic ice, I was left with half the arena looking like the north pole, the mages were completely encased in ice, the only sign of life was the fact that their limbs still moved. But before I could relish in my easy victory, a group of misfits seemed to rally behind me, as their obvious battle cries rang out among the crowd, so I decided to have a little fun.

I quickly turned again, then I placed my hand before me, my eyes shutting as I allowed the Light in my body to hum, before the energy gathered between my fingers with more ferocity than the Thu'um. When my eyes opened, my hand held a Nightstalker's bow, with a Sunbreaker Hammer between the string and bow, whist the might of a Stormcaller surged through the hammer. Then, I released the string.

The first to suffer for their mistake was another insignificant character, when he tried to swing at the hammer, the mere instant the blade made contact with the hammer, the whole arena erupted into an aurora of light, whist a blackhole held the group back, as the weaker links fell to their knees, the arc lightning coursed across their body, combined with the air burning with such intensity.

"AND LIKE THAT, ONLY THIRTY CHALLENGERS REMAIN, AND I WON'T LIE, THE CHANCES OF ANY ONE OF YOU UNLUCKY SODS BEATING MY CREATION IS....WELL YOU WON'T WIN"

"He's got a point, and besides, you have all been very entertaining, but I'm only going to say this once." I stated calmly, before I pointed to the sand and ice. "Kneel."

"What the hell? Are you crazy!?" One yelled, as the rest all seemed to be foolish enough to agree. Well then, guess Ive gotta use the little number I did for the Caribou

"Oh...so you think you still have a shot at me? Now, while I can admire someone who has guts, they aren't really impressive if said guts were spilled across the floor and strung on the wall." I began, before I pointed down at the sand again. "And besides, even if it was the Monarchs themselves. I couldn't care less about what happens next."

"By now, some of you more perceptive individuals have noticed that I haven't moved my foot from this spot, for every inch of the fight, I have firmly planted my foot upon this sandy dune, and only now have I reached the point of completion." When I said that, I blew a bit of the sand away from around me, and from that, the whole crowd gasped

Dotting the sand were countless blacklight spines, all poking to just beneath the ground where I stood.

"Now, I'll ask again. Get down on your knees and forfeit, otherwise, I'll turn ever last one of you into an iron maiden." I asked as calmly as possible. To be honest, alot of them didn't even move, nor did any weapons drop to the sand beneath my feet, it was strange, I couldn't even sense any sign of defiance, hell, they 'feared' me, and yet not a single fucker dropped to their knees

"Obviously they won't, since they have the same stupidity as someone else I know." My body quickly turned to see...are you fucking kidding!? Why was Swift down here

"You have a serious anger problem too." And of course Loki, but he hardly seemed phased. "You do realize you ran out of time, right?"

"What?" When-I mean-how?

"Yeah, you were so caught up that I forgot to mention it to you like....10 seconds ago, but yeah, you won." Loki shrugged, I didn't realize it until now, but the crowd was cheering...for me....yeah, cheer for the guy who put half your best fighters into the sand, knocked on to the moon-donut, and erased a segment of the arena

"Now, I hate to tell you this, well actually I don't care, but the guys who are standing over there?" Loki pointed towards the remaining challengers, who were still standing as stiff as boards. "Yeah they passed out on their feet. Like, as in they can't hear us or anything and yet they're still standing with their weapons and stuff."

"You sure that isn't another power you have?" Oh ha ha.

"Not my fault their fucking pussies." I shrugged with as little tolerance as possible

"Then maybe we'll prove to be more...entertaining." Now this was what I was waiting three chapters for. Before us was the two prime fuckers of the world. Luna was coated in a black, midnight-blue armour, silver lining the edges of the jagged and crooked metal. In her hands were two scimitars. Both were silver with a strange, blue metal built into the blade and handle

"And believe us when we say, we won't hold anything back." And last was Sunbutt. Obviously she was wearing a set of golden armour, curved plating and build, with orange thrown into the mix for colour, what she held instead a Halberd in one hand. It was silver too, but gold was fixed into the metal between the axe and spear, whist a jagged tip stuck the sand

Now I was amused, the pressure building around even just one of them was crazy, almost like a blackhole was threatening, and with the blacklight still planted in the ground, it would take time to pull it back into my body, so I was actually weaker now. But who could blame me, the more deadly the opponent, the more fun it is to crush them beneath your feet.

"Are you sure there's no backing out now?" Swift asked no one in particular, as Loki grabbed her and vanished back to the stands, and away from the fucking slaughter that was about to begin

"WELL IF YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW, THEN LETS GET THIS SHITSTORM STARTED! BEGIN!"

"Hey, Princesses?" They then focused their gazes back to me, as I gave them a pleasant smile.

"You're gunna die."

Author's Note

3 Weeks and you get a chapter, have fun with that until next time.

I am a pleased individual