Every Day Life with Pony Girls

“Okay. So now that you’re breathing and back in good condition-”

“I don’t know about good condition, I think her magic may have broken some things,” Spike said, cutting off Agent Sunset, whom had brought the air back to his lungs just a few minutes ago. It seems not even death can save Spike from her.

“Good. Condition,” she repeated tersely, slightly irritated at being rudely interrupted by the man whose life she just saved. “I must remind you not to do anything inappropriate while you and the princess are on your date.”

“It’s not a date, it’s a research mission,” he corrected.

“Is that what she’s calling it, too?” Sunset asked with a raised brow.

“…….Just get on with it.”

“Sure. So, first of all, remember that the law says no harm can be brought to any of the inter-dimensional foreigners by a human. Second of all, that rule goes both ways. So while you can’t harm them, they can’t bring any harm to people like you either…”

“Uh-huh,” Spike muttered skeptically, glancing briefly down at his formerly suffocating chest.

“Anyways, there is to be no using the foreigners for lewd purposes. So no taking her to any of the city’s more...stimulating areas, or I WILL find out,” Sunset said.

“Yeah, I got it,” Spike nodded in confirmation.

“And lastly, she isn’t allowed anywhere on her own, so make sure she’s by your side at all times,” the agent finished.

“Alright, alright, I got it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I think Twilight’s ready by now.”

“Very good. Have fun on your date!” Agent Sunset said, leaving the room.

“Bae! I’m ready! Let’s get going!” Twilight cried, stepping out from behind one of the doors to reveal her preparations for the dat-research mission! The research mission. Because that is what this is, a mission for Twilight to learn about human cultures and pastimes.

“Alright, Twi. Where would you like to go?” Spike asked, walking her to the front door.

“Oh, you know, wherever you want to take me,” she said, cuddling up into his arm. It was then that Spike began to notice her clothing and figure (again). She was wearing a lavender sundress that hugged her curves rather nicely. Of course, there were holes in the back of the dress for her wings and her tail, the latter hanging low to the ground. She also wore some black ballet shoes, the same ones she wore when she first arrived on his doorstep. What’s more, Spike realized that she wore her hair down, exposing the height difference between them—with Spike being a head taller than her. Overall, Spike thought her ensemble looked good on her because of how well it matched her hair and eye colors.

Spike himself was wearing a purple T-shirt, a brown leather jacket, blue jeans, and purple sneakers. He may have lacked Twilight’s color coordination, but he thought he looked good. Real good.

“Well, how about we start at the local library? You could learn about human history, science, biology and even internet,” Spike said. ’Besides, it wouldn’t seem like we’re on a date in a place as boring as the library. She may be a bookworm, but I doubt even she’d find that remotely arousing,’ he thought.

“Bae...that sounds fantastic! I’d love to learn more about what makes a human tick. And maybe while we’re at it, you can find out what we Equestrians are into~” Twilight replied, batting her eyelashes at him.

“Huh?”

“Never mind what I just said, let’s go on our date!” she said, thrusting a hand energetically in the air.

“It’s not a da-ahhhhhh!” Spike yelled as he was lifted in the air by a magical aura and carried upwards, following Twilight as she flew in the air.

“Alright Bae, give me the directions to the library and we should be there in no time,” Twilight said, levitating Spike right next to her. Unfortunately, he was upside down, and to make things worse, he was beginning to feel sick to his stomach. However, for Twilight’s sake, he chose to ignore it.

“Twi, let’s just take it slow, okay? The library is that way,” Spike said, pointing towards the Sanctuary City Public Library.

“Aright, I think I see it,” Twilight replied as she flew towards the direction Spike was pointing, levitating Spike right behind her as she flew. It was a bumpy ride for Spike as he was spun around in the air like a spinning top—sideways while upside down—until he and Twilight came to a sudden stop just a few feet off the ground in front of the library. Just then, a group of young, teenaged boys and girls leaving a local school and also taking a trip to the library looked up just in time to see Twilight and Spike arrive. They looked on in amazement at the sight of a flying woman, until they saw what she was wearing underneath the sundress.

“Oh look, there’s a field trip going on! Hi, kiddies!” Twilight waved cheerfully. However, she soon became less cheerful and more curious when she saw all the boys had severe blushes on their faces while the teachers struggled to make them look away. “Hey Spike, why are they all blushing like that?”

“Uh...Twilight? You’re flying right above them.”

“So?”

“You’re wearing a sundress,” Spike pointed out.

It only took a few seconds for Twilight to realize the implications of Spike’s words. It took even less than that for her to respond. She let loose a high-pitched scream before suddenly teleporting herself to the ground. Unfortunately, in her haste, she forgot to take Spike with her.

“Oh craahhhh-OW!” Spike yelled as he belly flopped on the ground. Thankfully, he landed on grass, not cement, so his landing was slightly softened upon impact.

“Oh my Celestia! I’m sorry Bea, I didn’t mean to drop you like that!” Twilight said, running over to where Spike had fallen to help him up.

“It’s alright. I know you didn’t mean it, so let’s just go inside,” Spike said, getting up and dusting himself off. As they entered the library some of the school boys couldn’t help but jump in what they felt was victory.

“Dude! Did you see that?” one asked the other excitedly.

“Yeah man! Total panty shot! We are men now!” the other replied, throwing his fist into the air.

Back inside the library, Twilight was gawking at the shelves of books like a wild predator staring at pieces of meat.

“Alright Twi, where do you want to start?” Spike asked.

When he didn’t hear a response, Spike looked over towards Twilight and found her frozen with a star-struck look on her face. Realizing his words had gone in one ear and out the other, he briefly shook Twilight’s shoulder. Spike’s nudge broke Twilight out of her trance, letting her re-compose herself as she scoped the scene for a place to start.

“Hmmm…..ooooohhhh~! Is that the human world history section? Let’s go there!” Twilight said, racing off.

“Twilight, wait! I have to stay by your side, remember?!” Spike said, running after her.

A few minutes later, Twilight had gone on a study binge, surrounding herself with stacks of books focused on human history as far back as the times of the Roman Empire. She was absolutely captivated by stories of human history and how many similarities it had with the history Equestria and her world in general.

“I see. So humans did have royal monarchs like Equestria does,” Twilight observed with interest.

“Yeah, back then the strongest ones were in Europe, but most countries over there are democratic now. Any remaining royal families are merely figureheads and don’t really have much to do with leading anymore,” Spike explained, sitting next to Twilight next to one of the library’s computers.

“Huh. So why did they all these countries change to democracy?” Twilight inquired.

“Well a lot of people got tired of the old ways and wanted the right to choose their own leaders, so they got rid of the monarchies and installed republics and democracies,” Spike replied.

“Got rid of? What do you mean by that?” Twilight asked.

“Well, most of the time, the monarchs didn’t want to give up their power and wouldn’t leave willingly. So the people got together and...well, got rid of them, like during the French Revolution,” Spike said while dragging his finger across his neck.

“Yeeesh. They must have really gotten those people mad. Oh Pegasus feathers, we have to go soon. But I still have so many questions,” Twilight said, disappointed that they would have to move on soon.

“Well, if you still have some questions, you can use the internet,” Spike suggested.

“Ah yes, I’ve heard of this internet before. It’s used for entertainment and research worldwide, correct?”

“That’s right. Now, get acquainted with whatever history you can. I’ve got to go register the books we’re gonna borrow,” Spike said before walking off.

Twilight sat there, both curious and excited as she looked at the computer screen. She couldn’t believe that a world that claimed to have no real magic could still produce a device like this that gives you anything you wanted.

“Okay, so where to start?” Twilight muttered, looking around the screen until she looked up to the top left corner and saw something called “Browser History.”

“Hmmm….what could browser mean? Well, that’s why I have the internet to help me find out. Now, let’s see if I can remember how Spike explained how to use it,” she said. Twilight took what she believed Spike called the mouse and dragged it to the button that said “Browser History.” She clicked it and blinked when a small window opened up with a list of previously visited websites, one of which particularly caught her attention. It was called, “Double D’s and the Nerds Who Love Them.”

“I wonder what that could be?” Twilight wondered as she clicked on it. When the image finally loaded, her face turned as red as an apple. The screen was filled with images of nude human females, all bearing conspicuously large breasts. She completely froze in place as her eyes darted all over the screen, the lewd imagery soaking into her subconscious. Just then, Spike was returning with the books he selected to check out.

“Hey Twi, I got the books. Let’s-” Spike froze as he noticed what was on the screen, his face turning a similar shade as the pony princess’. “Twilight, what are you doing on a website like that?! Get off it!” Spike yelled before pushing Twilight out of the chair and swiftly took the seat himself.

Spike hastily tried to exit out of website himself, however, as he tried to close the page, disaster struck. The kind of disaster that easily counts as one of the worst possible fears that lie within the hearts of teenage boys worldwide, the computer screen froze. Realizing that the cursor wasn’t moving, Spike began to freak out, frantically moving and clicking the mouse to avail. Then, things took a turn for the worst as Mrs. Brown, a 65-year-old librarian, came to check on him and Twilight.

“Excuse me, I was wondering if the young lady would like a library membershi-OH MY WORD!” the old lady screamed, alerting everyone in the library, before she collapsed onto the floor. Seconds later, a small group of college girls came over to investigate and caught sight of the unconscious woman.

“Oh my goodness! Mrs. Brown, what happened?!” one of the girls cried, running over to help her up. The girls noticed Spike standing nearby—his face pale and dewed with sweat—and decided to ask him what happened.

“Sir, do you know what happened...to the.....librarian?”

She placed her hands over her mouth in shock, catching a glimpse of the screen before Spike could cover it completely. Suddenly, she turned to her friends with an angry look on her face and whispered to them what she had seen. Within seconds, Spike had a crowd of angry girls closing in on him. Meanwhile, Twilight watched from behind a nearby bookshelf, trembling in fear. Her face was still very red from what she had seen.

“Um….please don’t hurt me….”

Five minutes later...

“I’m really sorry I got you kicked out of the library, Spike,” Twilight said, looking down as the two walked to their next destination.

“It’s no problem, Twi. I never really went there much anyways,” Spike said, gently putting an arm around her shoulder. He used his free hand to rub his stinging cheek, still branded with the glowing red handprints of the girls who slapped him.

“I assume that a website like that is used for clopping?” Twilight asked with a blush.

“Clopping? What’s that?”

“Its when…..well, when you….pleasure yourself,” Twilight said, looking away in embarrassment.

“Oh. Uh, we humans call that masturbation,” Spike said, looking away in the opposite direction.

“Oh...okay.....Spike? I’m still curious about one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“There was a button on the page that said “Share to Social Media.” Isn’t that what you use to communicate with friends and family?”

“Yeah.”

“Who in their right mind watches something like...like that and thinks, ‘You know who would like this, my friends and family’?” Twilight asked, looking at the young man.

“That’s actually a pretty good question, but I have no idea who. Or for that matter, why.”

“Weird.”

“Yeah. Anyways, where do you want to go next?” Spike asked, hoping to steer the conversation elsewhere.

“Well, I’m kind of hungry. Is there somewhere we can get something to eat?” Twilight asked, looking back up at him.

“Sure. There are bunches of restaurants in the city, but I assume you want a vegan place since you’re basically an herbivore.”

“Yeah, although we can eat meat, we pony people don’t really like to. Dragonbloods and Griffons do, though,” Twilight explained.

“Cool,” Spike said outwardly while inwardly thinking, ’If you only eat vegetables, then how the heck are most pony girls so curvy? They should be skinny as wooden planks.’ “Alright, I know just the place,” he said as he took her to a nearby place with a salad bar. When they got there, they received quite a few stares from some of the other customers—mostly those whom had never seen an Equestrian before—but they chose to ignore it and sat at a table next to a window.

“Wow, I’ve never heard of some of these salads,” Twilight said while perusing the restaurant’s menu. “Hey, there’s no hay on the menu,” Twilight pointed out disappointingly.

“Well of course not. Humans don’t eat hay, remember?” Spike chuckled.

“Oh, r-right,” Twilight said quietly, her cheeks growing warm and rosy as she hid her face behind her menu.

“Go ahead and order, Twi. It’s on me.”

“Well, if you say so. I’ll have…..”

A few minutes later, the couple’s table was overcrowded with vegetarian dishes. Twilight had ordered whatever she thought looked good, which turned out to be nearly the entire menu. Spike watched in astonishment, his mouth agape at the sheer amount of food that had been brought to the table. However, if he was slack-jawed before, his jaw really hit the floor when he saw how ferociously Twilight began tearing into her food. It reminded him of a documentary he saw on the animal network about lions.

“Wow, Twi……your appetite is kind of scary,” Spike said as he watched a veggie burger disappear instantly before his very eyes.

“Oh, this is nothing. You should see me when I eat hayburgers back in Equestria. *Belch*” Twilight released the cutest little belch Spike had ever heard, prompting a light chuckle from the green-haired youth. “Oops, excuse me,” she said.

“Mommy, mommy, that lady has a tail!” a small boy cried. Twilight and Spike turned around and found the boy sitting on the other side of the restaurant. He was pointing directly at Twilight while his mother pulled him away.

“It’s impolite to stare, Billy,” the mother chided.

“But it’s so weird! Look at her ears, too!”

Twilight’s ears drooped in sadness at the boy’s comment. Her face took on an increasingly scared expression as the child’s comments had drawn the attention of the other customers towards her. Spike noticed this and opted to take her somewhere else. Just then, a camera flash came from the side. Spike looked and saw a teenage girl had taken a picture with her smartphone.

“Come on, Twi. Let’s get out of here,” Spike said, taking her by the hand and escorting her toward the exit. When they got outside, the two discovered a small group of people with their phones and cameras directed at Twilight. The two realized that the group had most likely been watching her through the window for a while. Spike noticed that Twilight was starting to get a bit uncomfortable with all the recent attention.

“Dammit, I got to find us a way out of here,” Spike said to himself.

He grabbed Twilight by her hand and led her zigzagging through the streets until they were out of sight. By the time they finished running, they found themselves heading in a random direction through some alley they didn’t recognize. As they approached the end, the alley opened up to an area with a lot of foliage.

“Um…Bae, is that the ocean I hear?” Twilight asked.

“Huh?….Oh, yeah, you’re right. We must be close to the docks or something,” Spike replied.

The soothing sounds of the nearby waves and salty, sea breeze flooded their senses. The couple continued their trek past the docks, heading up along a hill with lots of trees, bushes, and other foliage. They soon realized that they had walked up a cliff, one that felt very familiar to Spike.

“Where are we?” Twilight asked in awe.

Looking around, the pony princess had to admit that they had come across a very wondrous scene. Before them lay a beautiful sunset, its red and orange rays reflecting off the sparkling waves of the ocean. Behind them lay several well kept trees and bushes, some of which possessed blooming flowers. This place must have been attended regularly by gardeners.

“You know, I feel like I’ve been here before. It looks nice, the area is well kept, we’re near the high schools, and-*gasp*” Spike suddenly gasped, realizing their current location.

The second he remembered the high schools, he realized that he and Twilight hadn’t stumbled upon any ordinary cliff. This place was more commonly known by local teenagers as “Cuddle’s Cliff.” This was considered to be one of the most romantic spots in Sanctuary City. A place where teenagers could bring their boyfriends or girlfriends so that they could…...

“Bae?” Twilight called out.

“Huh?” Spike said, snapping out of his trance.

He looked over and saw Twilight had moved from his side and was sitting on nearby bench. It was neither too close nor too far from the edge of the cliff. Spike soon joined her, sitting right next to her on the bench. For a while, the two didn’t say anything. They just sat in silence, watching as the sun sunk slowly beyond the horizon.

“Spike?” Twilight said, finally breaking the silence.

“Yeah?”

“Are you only nice to me because of what the law says?” she asked, shocking the young man.

“What? Of course not, Twi. What could possibly makes you say something like that?”

“Well, that’s why most humans seem to tolerate us,” she replied as she lay her head down in his lap. “Look at me, Bae. I’m not dangerous or weird,” she said, caressing the side of Spike’s face with one of her wings, “and I would never even hurt a fly. But humans, some humans, treat us like circus animals or monsters. But we’re harmless. I’m harmless. Don’t you think…..?” she asked, staring longingly into his eyes.

“Twi….”

“Yes, Bae?”

“D-do you hear that?”

With a slightly confused look, Twilight’s ears perked up, listening for any strange sounds. After a moment, Twilight sat back up, her face showing even more confusion. She did hear something. Whatever it was, it was loud and approaching fast.

Then, seemingly appearing from under the cliff, a black helicopter rose into the sky just above them, blowing small gusts of wind their way. As it hovered above them, the side doors to the helicopter slid open and a couple of thick ropes were thrown out from within, uncoiling down to the ground. A small squadron of seven men came out of the helicopter and slid down the ropes. Upon closer inspection, these men were dressed in black, S.W.A.T. team armor, complete with facemask. They soon took up position surrounding Spike and Twilight, making no further movement until a female officer came out from behind them and stood at their front.

“Stop right there!” the officer cried. “We know you have brought the young lady here for lewd purposes, despite the law clearly forbidding such actions with a-”

“EVERYBODY MAKE A BREAK FOR IT!!!” an alarmed voice shouted.

Spike, Twilight, and the surrounding officers all froze, each of them coming to the same conclusion. They weren’t alone. Suddenly—emerging from behind the various bushes, rocks, and trees—young teenage couples bolted from their various hiding spots. Some of them were barely wearing any clothing as they ran down the hill, away from the police that they believed were here for them. After a minute of panicked scrambling, only Spike, Twilight, and the eight officers remained on the cliff.

“Well...that was odd,” Twilight said, watching the teenagers run like bats out of hell.

“Wait, Princess Twilight? And…uh, Bae?” the female officer said, removing her S.W.A.T. mask to reveal her identity. It was none other than Agent Sunset.

“Agent Sunset!” Spike and Twilight cried.

“The one and only.”

“H-how did you know we were here?” Spike asked.

“Oh, we have cameras planted all over the city. So when one of them spotted an Equestrian with a human in a place like this, we had to act quickly,” Sunset replied.

“I see….wait. You have cameras planted in a place where teenagers come to lose their virginity?” Spike asked in shock.

“Hmmhmmhmm….Oh yes, we most certainly do. Though, personally, I mostly use it for a good laugh. You wouldn’t believe how many of those high school boys are ‘one pump chumps,’ and I’m not talking about the virgins,” she giggled hysterically.

A few minutes into the conversation, the trio decided to make their way down the cliff. Everything was going smoothly, until they got to the bottom and encountered a pair of drunken men from the local bar. From their grungy clothes and unkempt facial hair, the threesome could tell right away that they were the scummy type. Their loud and obnoxious voices were a pretty big giveaway, too.

“W-wow. Are you seeing *burp* that, man?” one of the drunkards asked his companion, his voice loud enough to grab the trio’s attention.

“Yeah, it *cough* *cough* it looks like one of those inter-dimensional freaks, and its coming down Cuddler’s Cliff, ha!” the other declared.

“Hey, why don’t you go back to where you came from you lousy, no good, horse girl! This world is already weird enough as it is! We don’t need any horn-having, winged, devil monsters around!” he yelled at Twilight, whom was slowly losing her patience with how some of the people were treating her.

“Hey, you two! Stop that this instance!” Agent Sunset yelled to no avail.

It was at that moment that Sunset noticed Twilight’s horn charging up with magic. Judging by the angry look on the princess’ face, she was preparing to hit the two hecklers with a magical blast. Just as Sunset feared that she may have to subdue Twilight, she and Twilight were both shocked to find Spike silently approaching the drunkards. Without speaking a word, he suckered punch the one on the right in the stomach with enough force to send him flying backward. The green-haired youth then followed up with jamming his knee into the stomach of the other, forcing him to kneel on the ground in pain while clutching his stomach. Completely blindsided, the two loudmouths quickly fell unconscious, succumbing to the pain of their injuries.

“Hmm...I wonder if I went a little overboard?” Spike asked himself as he observed the two men bent over in pain. After Twilight and Agent Sunset picked their jaws up off the ground, they made the long journey back to the Spike’s house where they settled in after the long day.

“So Agent Sunset, what did you do about those two guys earlier?” Spike asked rubbing his right hand.

“Oh, I made sure to handle them properly without starting anything big,” Sunset smirked, crossing her legs.

“Well, that’s good. I wouldn’t want anything to happen to Twilight.”

“Speaking of whom, I think she wants to talk to you,” the agent said pointing to nearby door where Twilight was standing. “I’ll give you two some privacy,” Sunset said, taking her leave.

“Bae?”

“Yeah, Twi?”

“Why did you hit those guys?”

“Why do you think? If I had let you blast them, you’d end up getting deported.”

“...Is that all?”

“*Sigh* No, Twi. They were insulting you, and I couldn’t let them do that. You’re my best friend, Twi, and I couldn’t let anyone mistreat you. I hope you know how much I care for you,” Spike said, giving her a hug which she happily returned. “Now, I think I’m gonna hit the hay early tonight. How about you?”

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. Good night, Spike. I had fun on our date,” Twilight said sweetly as she teleported to her room.

“Yeah, me too…..It wasn’t a date!”