Into Ashes: Act I

Day 4

Yesterday, Day 3 was very… Uneventful. In the early afternoon, I made a quick jaunt over to the old schoolhouse for more firewood with an empty pack. I headed straight back home after gathering a full load. Nothing else was done outside, I didn’t want to spend too much time afield just in case my new “friend” decided to wake up. I also made a few small renovations to my home throughout the day. I used one of my sheets and a few pieces of wood to make a door flap for the entrance. Along with that, I cleaned up all the ash and debris inside and cleared out most of my floor space. There’s quite a bit more room inside now, plenty of room for I and my rescued survivor to have a comforting amount of space. I still wake up every morning covered in ash. Perhaps on another day I will run back to the sew shop for more fabric and plug up most of the ceiling to finally put an end to that.

The only event of the day to excite me was, upon returning from the schoolhouse I had notice the Equine had changed positions. I made a bit of noise and splashed a little water on her to see if she would wake up but still, she remains deeply engulfed in a comatose. But it was still very stimulating to have found that she moved in her sleep. She could be awake any day now. I’m still terrified to try and predict how she’ll react. These circumstances are certainly… Unique. I never imagined I’d be in this kind of situation. Stranded, alone on a dead world, cut off from all I know, taking care of some alien I found in a pile of refuse who’s technically the enemy… Definitely a very unique scenario I was in no way prepared for. And yet here I am, still somehow managing to handle things well.

• - - -

The start of day four was slow at first just as the previous day. I haven’t made any preparations for the day for I sense the waking of the Equine is imminent. I’ll only go out today if an extreme need arises but that is unlikely. Today can just be a rest day that is well deserved. I’ve been working hard, burning a lot of calories that are not easy to gain back. Everyday I can feel myself getting a little bit weaker as the malnutrition sets in. But that’s okay, because for now I have everything I could possibly need. Eventually I’ll have to go out in search of a reliable source of food and water. But until I need to, that can wait. I’ve only made it through one and a half packs of water from my original eight, and still haven't even finished an entire Z-Ration. These things will someday become an issue but like I said, for now I have everything I need.

11:43 am

I’ve been sleeping in all morning. I lazily roll over, dust myself of the morning ash and check the time. Almost noon. But I don’t care, I have nothing planned for today anyway.

As noon rolls around the urge to eat something hits hard. I decide to check what’s left in my Z-Ration but debate on weather or not to eat it now or save it. The moment I reach into my bag and pull it out I hear a faint noise that petrifies me. It was soft and quiet, almost completely inaudible but there’s no doubt in my mind about what made the noise. I slowly turn to the Equine. It was her, she made the noise. Twas the sound of a stifled whine. She has curled herself up into a ball, facing the wall opposite the room from me. The moment I’ve been waiting for, the moment of her awakening has finally arrived. Now.. What the hell do I do next?

I listen to her as she lets out a series of pathetic whimpers and sniffles. I am careful not to make even the slightest of sounds. But she is less cautious of her own noise discipline, and soon the petty snivels turn into what sounds like someone quietly crying to them self. What do I even do? Do I say something and announce my presence? Does she already know I’m here? Is she crying because she scared, or maybe just in pain? What would I even say to her?

“Hello?” I say in a calm voice.

Her quiet sob quickly disappears and she coils up tightly. But no response other than that. I know she’s definitely awake and alert now.

“Are you.. Okay? Do you want something to eat?” I know she can understand me.

Still nothing, not even a peep. She just lays there silently, frozen in place. She must be startled to the point of being inanimate. I would be too if I suddenly found myself in the captivity of the aliens who inexplicably destroyed my entire world.

After some time passes, still not a single murmur of acknowledgment exchanged between us, I decide to stand up. Her ear perks up and twitches over to face my direction. She can hear me coming. I quietly take a few steps over. She curls up tighter and tighter every time my heavy boots imprint into the ash. But I continue closer, doing my best to remain as silent as I can manage. One step too close, and she raises her head and snaps over to look at me. Her eyes meet mine and she freezes. My eyes meet hers and I freeze midstep. On my face, an awkward expression of being caught off guard. On hers, a grimace of complete fear and terror. Eyes wide, mouth agape in shock. She is the first to move. She turns away from me and tries to stagger to her feet. But in her weakened state, legs provoking too much pain, she can barely manage to hold herself up. She’s in too much pain to stand, but that doesn’t stop her from trying to escape. She lets out a series of half screams, but her voice breaks and cracks as she desperately tries to pull herself across the floor away from me. She’s even too weak to vocalize properly. All the while I remain in place, still so bewildered as to how to handle the situation.

She gnaws at the bandages around her hoof at one moment, the next moment she continues to try and drag herself across the floor. She switches between the actions, clearly in such a panicked state that she doesn't know what to do either. With all the strength she can muster, I see her start crawling for the exit.

“No no no no no!” I say. “I’m here to help you see? Don’t be afraid, I’m not going to hurt you!”

I say whatever I can think of to try and calm her down. But still she continues to try and pull herself to the exit, a trail of tears drop to the floor in her sluggish path. But eventually, not even halfway across the room yet she gives up and breaks down into a heavy, hopeless sob. Even she knows it’s no use, and that she’s too weak for her own good. The situation to her is forlorn, her attempts to escape are in vain, and realizing the pointlessness of it all she quits. Now she just lays in place, crying loudly on the floor. A small puddle of tears forms on the ground beneath her eyes.

I.. I don't even know what to do. I continue to stand in place.

12:30 pm

By now she appears mostly to have calmed herself. Her heavy sob has dwindled back down to a pitiful whimper. What does a guy even do in this kind of situation? I know that she desperately needs something to eat, and even more so something to drink, but I’m afraid if I try to approach her again I might be met with the same reaction as before. And I can’t just leave her unattended like this, who knows what she’ll try. I guess my only option is to go back to waiting. That’s what I’ll do, I’ll start up another fire and hope that I can gain her trust and comfort via proximity.

1:15 pm

She still hasn’t moved, not even an inch since her last little episode. But she has stopped crying. I can’t tell if she’s just being quiet or has slipped back into an exhausted slumber or if she’s just listening and waiting. Or dead. I hope she hasn’t died on me, that would be most tragic.

1:20

“You know… It’s probably been a while since you last had some water. I have some if you want it. In fact you probably need it. So I’m just going to get some out, and then I’m gunna walk over very slowly, not trying to hurt you in any way, just trying to get you some water.”

I stand up, a packet full of fresh water in hand and slowly tiptoe over. She still hasn’t moved, I can’t tell if she heard me or not. She’s so hard to read.. But I am getting closer to her, much closer than she allowed me to last time.

Once I am but a few steps away, she tightens back up into a ball.

Well, at least I know she’s still awake. And she isn't trying to escape yet so that's… good. Perhaps she knows she’s too weak and has given up completely. I am very certain however that she has zero trust in me. Everything I’ve said to her could have easily just gone in one ear and out the other for all I know. But I am close, practically in arms reach of her.

“I have some water for you.” I say, pulling the rubber short-hose out for her to drink from. “Okay, I’m just going to squat down beside you, we’re gunna get reeeaaal close, and I’m just going to put this hose in your mouth for you. Okay? Okay. Here we go.”

Her eyes open half way as I kneel down but she doesn’t look at me. She just keeps her eyes fixed on a point ahead of her. They seem dead, her whole physique seems worn but I know she still has some fight left in her.

As I bring the straw close to her snout she turns her head away, avoiding the straw. Puzzled, I try to speak to her. “It’s just water. You need to drink this, it’s good for you, yeah?”

I make another attempt at putting the straw to her mouth, but likewise I’m met with the same reaction. She turns her head to avoid the straw. This slightly frustrates me but I understand. I hide my annoyance, I’m still determined to do what I must to gain her trust.

“Okay, you don't want me to give it to you, that’s fine. I’ll just set it here beside you instead. If you’re thirsty enough you’ll drink it eventually.”

I set the water down by her head where she can see it and return to my side of the basement. It’s not long after I sit down that I see her begin to reach with her lips for the straw. Yes, she’s actually going to drink it. A warm sense of accomplishment begins to grow within me. It builds further as she successfully reaches the hose and begins drinking.

“Make sure you drink it slowly, just sip at it for now.” I say, still happy to see what she’s doing. She must have heard me. At first she was trying to swallow up all she could but now that I’ve said that she’s slowed down. I don’t know if hydration works the same for her as it does for me. Drinking water slowly when dehydrated is just something they tell us in training.

I’m elated to see her continue to drink. I almost want to get up and sit back down right beside her and have a nice chat but I know she’s not ready for that yet. I don’t even think I’m ready for that yet either. I do feel like she’s starting to trust me though if she's willing to accept my offering.

“You must be hungry.” I say aloud. “I’ll heat you up something to eat, hold on.”

But what does an Equine even eat? Boy, that’s a question I never thought I’d have to find an answer to. I only have a very basic understanding of their culture and lifestyle. I’ve never been so up close and personal with one before. At least not since… Nevermind, that’s a memory I’d like to forget.

I remember back to our Old Earth History classes. Sometimes those classes would cover things like wildlife. I seem to remember about a thing called a horse which looks just like these Equine only much larger. I recall that they liked grassy and grainy foods as their primary diet. But those were Old Earth horses, not Gliese 581g Equines.

Grain… hmm.. I could give her the rest of my spaghetti ration. That has grain in it, artificial grain at least. A half portion would definitely be a sizable meal for a creature her size.

I come to the realization that I do indeed now have a second mouth to feed, and that cuts my rations in half. I need to start thinking of a way to reverse that.

I take the spaghetti meal and set it in front of the fire to warm it up a little. The Equine continues to sip on the water, a little over half way done with the entire packet. She must have been exceedingly thirsty, I don’t recall seeing her ever stop to take a break.

I let the spaghetti heat up for only a short time before picking it back up and bringing it to her. As I approach I’m careful to let her know of my intentions. “Now this, this is human food, okay? I can’t promise you’ll like it but it’s all I’ve got.”

I place the package by her head, the open side facing her mouth. This time, instead of moving her head away, she shoots an unsure look at me. I can see an almost calm look in her wide blue-green eyes, only a slight visage of fear in them. I motion her to eat. She looks at it curiously, cautiously. She begins to tongue at it. A quick taste is all she needs to realize what it is. Her expression instantly changes, and she shoves her snout into the package, trying to eat like she hasn’t eaten in days. It probably has been days since she last had a decent meal.

She struggles, the further in she reaches with her snout the further away she pushes the package. She’s going to need a little bit of help. I grab the back of the package and hold it to her mouth. She doesn’t react to my hand being so close. She does however continue to ravenously consume the spaghetti, slurping it up and using her tongue to scoop as much of it as she can into her mouth. Her snout is covered in the red sauce, looking like a child enjoying a messy meal for the first time. She’s almost thankful for my assistance. It surprises me that she’s able to finish the entire portion so quickly. She must have been without a meal for quite some time.

“See? I knew you were hungry.” She continues to eat as if I don’t exist. Though the package is almost completely empty she continues to tongue and sniff around for the last scraps she can find. I pull it away, her snout dripping with sauce. She raises a hoof slowly to wipe her face but stops as she notices the bandages. I see a look in her eyes as she examines them. I can tell she wants to take them off, she looks for a place to start unraveling them. “No, keep those on. I put them there, they're to help you get better.”

She looks to me and stares into my eyes as I speak, an unsure look across her face. The side of her mouth, still covered in sauce quivers slightly. It quivers for a short time, I can already tell that some part of her wants to smile. She perks into a very faint half smile before stopping herself. We hold our gaze for some time. Seeing her try to smile raises me into a half smile myself. I decide to ask her a question. “So.. Do you speak?” She drops her smile to a frown at my question and looks away. Forgetting how weak she is, she tries to stand on her own and walk away. But just as before, the moment she puts weight on her fractured leg she staggers and falls back to the ground.

“No no no, don’t try to stand.” I say. “Here, I’ll just give you some space instead.”

I walk back to my half of the room and sit down. She’s still looking away from me, her head down in a mournful bow. I speak to her again. “So now that I’m over here, aaaall the way over here, let’s try again. Can you speak at all?” She offers no response. “You’re pretty shy aren’t you?” This time her ear perks up to face me when I mention the word Shy. I guess it’s a way to show she agrees somehow. “That’s alright, I understand. We have plenty of time to get to know each other though yeah?”

I spend the next few minutes trying to coax her into saying something but she seems adamant to not use her voice. Eventually I give up an decide I’ll try again later.

2:51 pm

The fire is beginning to burn low. Regrettably I’ve already used up my entire stock of wood. It is now time for me to make another run to the schoolhouse. “Alright stay here, whatever your name is. I’ll be out for a little bit but I’ll be back with more wood.” As I come to the door flap I look back to her. She sits on her hind legs staring at me. There’s no expression on her face. “Okay, just wait here. I’ll be back.” I leave in hopes she’ll still be there when I get back.

I really should come up with a name for her at some point. I’m thinking I should wait a little longer before picking one, until I uncover a little more about her personality for something that fits. The only trait I’ve noticed so far is her glaring shyness. And quiet, she’s very quiet. I can’t wait to find out more about her. Maybe when she can walk well again I’ll bring her out on expeditions with me and we can have some nice bonding time. I know that there’s a voice inside her somewhere, I guess it’ll just take a considerable amount of time to unlock it.

3:44

I return home with my backpack filled to the brim with as much wood as I could manage to cram in. There’s still so much extra wood back there. Running out of fuel for my fire won’t be something I'll have to worry about for a long time. Food however is becoming an issue. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll go out and try to hunt down some sort of trace or clue that might lead me to some. I have no idea what that clue might look like but nevertheless, I have eaten less than one days’ worth of food in the last five days I’ve been out here. I had a scheduled ration plan but all that has changed since I picked up this survivor. I don’t even know where I would ever find food in a place like this though.

I slip through the door flap with my bag so full the wood sticking out of the top gets caught on the fabric and almost tears the whole thing down. Once inside I notice my belongings scattered, the wing’ed Equine poking her nose through them. She notices me before I’m able to do anything about it and panics before guiltily walking back to her side. She’s finally on her feet! That intrigues me more than why she was rummaging through my gear. Though all of it is now scattered across my side of the room, I decide to not let it get the better of me. “Curious little one aren’t you?” She ignores me and continues with her bashful stifle.

Without acknowledging her I clean up the mess and unload my haul. The fire has reduced to just a few dying embers but it doesn’t take long to bring it back to a roar with plenty of fuel to eat.

I must admit, this day is getting more and more interesting by the hour.

• - - -

Both of us sit in silence on opposing sides of the fire. My gaze is focused on the dancing flames. The Equine, sitting upright on her hind legs, hangs her head low. We both seem to be in a state of deep reflection. While she thinks of.. Whatever she could be thinking of I think about what the hell I’m going to do next. I start making up plans and ideas for traps in case I run into a drone. That soon transpires into thoughts of how I’m going to further take care of this survivor, and maybe what to name her. All these thoughts are only to pass the time. As of yet, her and I have nothing to do to pass the time but sit quietly, thinking and watching the fire. At this time of day it’s too late in the evening to do anything productive outside but also too early to fall asleep. The stale doldrum has me trying to figure out anything I can do to make the time pass quicker so that the next day may come.

I look to my Equine friend. Head down, eyes closed, deep in her own private thoughts. Her long pink main drapes over half her face, almost touching the ground. I wonder what she could be thinking about. There’s only one way to solve that mystery. I could ask, but I already know her only response will be reserved silence. I’ll leave her to her thoughts for now. Between us is a somber calmness, the silence only disturbed by the crackling fire. By the look on her face I can tell she’s having unpleasant thoughts. Probably still coping with the recent traumas inflicted on her. Those thoughts are most likely a sensitive subject and it would be best not to bring them up.

8:00 pm

Hours have passed and still neither word nor wandering eye has been shared. Not until, as I stare into the heart of the fire, I notice her make a brief glance my way. I look back, but she simply looks away. The silence between us is now starting to get a little awkward. The tension is almost palpable, as I know I want to say something but my mind and mouth refuse to agree on a uniform phrase. We trade off a few more awkward glances. Every time I look at her she looks away, and not long after I also avert my gaze she returns with hers. The next time she looks I try to catch her and make contact, but she simply shuts her eyes, but also subtly clears her throat.

“D-d-do you h-have and more f-food?” She finally breaks the uncomfortable silence. Astonished at the softness yet clarity in her smooth voice, I stare at her. The question catches me off guard, as if a ghost had nuzzled its way up to my ear and tickled it with strands of silk. I give her a surprised look.

“You finally spoke.” I reply. She lowers her head further in embarrassment. Then, yes, I realize what she asked.

“Oh, y-yes of course I have more food. Hold on let me go get some.”

All that is left from the Z-Ration I’ve been slowly working on is a half melted stick of butter that was supposed to be for the snack bread and a pair of plain tortillas. It’s not much to work with but it’s all that’s left for this ration. Looks like I’ll have to make due.

I lather both tortillas with the butter, heat them up by the fire and carefully hand her one. She eases into taking it from my hand, not sure what she’s looking at. She grabs it with both hooves and takes a bite. Though I know she’s still hungry she doesn’t seem at all enthusiastic about this as she was with the spaghetti. But she doesn’t shy away from eating it, clumsily holding it between her bandaged hooves and taking small bites.

“It’s okay to say something.” I say reassuringly. “It would help a lot if you did, communication between us is going to be important.” She makes no gesture of response.

“Do you have a name?” Again, nothing. She doesn’t even bother to look up from her food. “Okay, well if you don’t tell me your name I’ll just have to make one up for you.”

There’s a certain special name that’s been lingering in my mind for many years. It’s the first thing that pops into my head. A long time ago, I once had a wife who was due to bare a child that never came to be. The name for my late daughter still holds its place in my memory. I hold it close, like the name of a lifelong friend whom I could never forget. It’s perfect for the moment.

“Okay. you won’t tell me your name yet so… Allie. I’ll call you Allie.”

And so from here forth until she finally gains the bravery to speak again, and maybe confides in me enough trust to let me know her personal identity, this shall be her placeholder.

The rest of the evening is uneventful.