A week after William's return, Luke and James were allowed to stay in Will's home until they find proper houses. Luke and James were currently unemployed, and trying to meet new ponies. Luke was even trying to lighten up his mood, and being more tolerant towards others, which was a huge improvement.

Screaming. I heard screaming that night. James and I were talking outside of Sugarcube corner when a feminine scream flooded the streets. James and I were armed with submachine guns, and decided to see where it was coming from. Before we could start investigating, we saw a human shape coming for us. FAST. He ran to us, panting. He looked horrified! However, that wasn't the weirdest part. The weird part was the fact that his pants were gone, except for his underpants.

"Help...me..." Luke said in-between pants.

I started laughing, "Luke...I'm just gonna ask you one question. Where are your pants?"

"That...crazy...Lyra...chick..."

"What?"

"I'm getting my gun," Luke said, stomping for my place.

"NO!" James tackled Luke, "That's not necessary! What just happened?"

Luke grabbed James by his shirt collar, "Listen to me, James. I've been through some crazy shit before. I've wrestled an Alligator, fought burglars, and even traveled to a world of ponies...but you've never experienced true horror until you get kidnapped by a crazy unicorn!"

As bad as I'm going to feel for saying this, I had to stop my laughter. He must've met Lyra Heartstrings. She's all crazy about humans, and has a creepy interest in them. To be honest, I think the only thing that stopped her from trying to date me was the fact that I worked a lot with AJ.

"Tell us what exactly happened." I said.

With that, Luke began telling the story from the beginning.

Earlier, in Luke's point of view...

Let me say this: This Equestria place is a whole lot better than Earth. I thought that I could get along with these ponies better than people.

That was a dumb decision.

I was sitting on a bench, reading the paper when this mint colored unicorn sat next to me. I didn't pay attention. It's bench, people sit on it. However, the chick then started talking to me.

"Hi," she said.

"Yo." I responded, not taking my eyes off the newspaper.

"My name's Lyra. You're a human, no?"

"Yeah. I'm human, or...at least I think I am. Maybe I'm just a really smart, hairless monkey."

Lyra giggled, "You're so funny."

Erm, okay..?

I sighed, "The name's Luke. I'm just a guy trying to get by. Maybe make some friends."

Lyra scooted closer, "Well...I could be your friend..."

Normally, I would say no. I'm usually not a social person. However, ever since I came to this whole new world...I made it my own personal goal to change my outlook on people, and be more tolerant to others.

"Okay. Sure," I said.

Lyra smiled, "So...what do you like to do?"

"What do I like to do? Hm...never really thought about it. I like to crack jokes, fight, shoot, and...I do have a secret love for literature."

"Wow! I like to read too."

"Huh. Cool."

Awkward silence followed.

"So...whatcha reading?" Lyra asked.

"Eh," I said, "Just catching up on the news. Prince Shining Armor and Princess Cadence had their baby recently, you know. Decided to read about it, it's pretty interesting."

"Cool. Hey, could you do me a favor?"

"What?"

Lyra held out a flower, "Could you sniff this for me?"

Now, I was trained at the bunker about possible traps. Her whole display said it all. Her unmoving face, the kindness in her voice, and the fact that she asked me to sniff something for her. Nice try, but I'm not falling for the chloroform trick.

I smirked, "Why don't YOU sniff it first, hm?"

Lyra's face said it all. She knew that I saw through her little scheme. She looked around, and noticed that there ironically wasn't any other ponies nearby. Her expression suddenly changed from sweet, to frustrated. She suddenly levitated a rag over my mouth. I tried to hold my breath, but as incredible as my skills are...I'm still human. I NEEDED AIR. I took one big inhale, and instantly fell unconscious.

I must've been asleep for a long time. When I woke up, I found myself hanging upside down from the fucking CEILING by my ankles.

"Oh great," I said, "Isn't this magical? I just knew that the one time I try to be sociable with others, would be kidnapped. Stay calm, Luke. It could be worse. At least you're not inside a bathtub of ice with your kidneys gone."

I felt the texture of rope on my ankles. Perfect. If I just grab my pistol, I could shoot the rope and free myself. I thought. I reached my holster, and found myself grabbing at my boxers. I looked at myself, and saw that almost all my clothes were gone!

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" I sighed, "This is just fucking great. I can't escape this place without any tools! Even MacGyver would be shitting his pants right now."

I calmed myself, and decided to take in my surroundings. While i was upside-down, I saw that I was in a basement. I saw some cabinets, tools, boxes, a table with my clothes piled on it, and some old furniture. Suddenly, I heard hoofsteps. Shit. I thought.

The door opened, and I saw an earth pony. I've seen this one walking around town, but never really cared. She walked in carrying a basket in her teeth. She took one look at me, and gasped.

"What the- what happened?" she asked.

"Oh, just hanging around. Quite literally." I joked.

"Who did this to you?"

"I'd imagine it was that Lyra chick."

"I'm so sorry. She's my marefriend, I didn't think that she'd...do this to anyone."

"Right, right. Now...as much as I enjoy the feeling of all my blood rushing into my head, I would love to get down now. Could you help?"

"Of course, but be quiet."

The pony handed me a small knife, and I curled my spine up so I could cut the rope. Once I did, I fell onto the carpet below me. I got up and went to the table to retrieve my things. While I put my shirt on and simply stuck my holstered pistol in my pocket, I was interrupted by the sound of Lyra's voice.

"How the hay did you get loose?!" She asked.

I nearly jumped out of my skin. I ran past her, not even taking the rest of my clothes with me, and escaped the house. It was dark, so I just ran aimlessly around. I luckily found you guys, and that brings us here.

Will's POV

James and I looked at Luke in shock.

"Wait, why were you screaming?" James asked.

"Oh, because I heard her following me." Luke responded.

"Where did she go?"

"Right here," Lyra said from behind us.

Luke screamed and hid behind me. I was the only thing that separated Luke from his kidnapper. Lyra looked up at me with crazy eyes. I really didn't know what to say here. James suddenly stepped in and spoke for me.

"Lyra," James said, "What you did was very wrong. Like, REALLY wrong. If you managed to make Luke here scared, then you know for a FACT you did something wrong. Listen, Lyra. I like you and all, but you'd better go home right now. You're lucky that I'm not going to tell anyone about this. However, if you kidnap any of my friends ever again...I will not be as nice. Now...go home to your marefriend. I'm sure you've got a lot of explaining to do."

I was impressed with that little speech James said. It worked, too...because Lyra looked like she saw a ghost. She suddenly turned around and ran in the other direction. I heard Luke breathe a sigh of relief and collapse.

"James?" Luke asked.

"Yeah?" James asked.

"I'm grateful for what you did, but I think you'd better stop saving me. Keep this up, and people are gonna start shipping us."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"You'll never understand."

Author's Note

Okay...this chapter may not be all that great, but it's just the beginning. Things will get better soon, I promise. Until then, I hope you all have a nice day.