You know, I know that Luke is a troubled guy and all...but I got tired of keeping him in my home for so damn long. At this point, it was a month after my return...and I promised him that I would let him stay at my place until he got back up on his feet, but he was such an AWFUL roommate!

William was the only one awake at that moment. Sipping his coffee, he flipped through the pages of his newspaper. Suddenly, he heard the sounds of boxes falling.

"OW!" he heard a voice yelp.

"Huh? You okay?" Will asked.

Scootaloo walked into the room, "I tripped on one of those wood crates again," she said, mildly irritated.

"Dangit, when is Luke going to get his weapons out of here?"

"When he wants to," Luke said, waking up from his spot on the couch.

William looked at Luke, who returned his gaze.

"Luke, you could at least put your weapons in a safe spot. By safe, I mean out of the way of people who are trying to walk." William said.

"Hey," Luke said, shrugging, "I don't tell you how to live your life."

"But I DO tell you how to live in my home."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Listen, Luke. I like you, and I will never be able to thank you enough for what you have done for me...but you have been extremely irritable, unorganized, and cheap. You don't even help pay the bills."

"Listen, if I wanna be nagged....I'll buy a clockwork wife."

William balled up his fists. It was only a little over a week, and Luke was driving him crazy!

"Luke...I want you out of my house." Will said, dryly.

"Say what?" Luke asked.

"Listen, Luke. Take what you can carry, and get your ass out of here. You can come and go for your guns, but besides that...I want you to find some other place to sleep and live. There's only so much a man can take..."

"Crap..."

Luke's POV...

Well, just like that...he kicked me out. I was only there for a little over a week! Maybe what people say is true: I'm an arsehole.

I packed the essentials, or what I call my essentials: My gun bag, and my bit pouch. Besides that, nothing but the clothes on my back. I went to the first place I thought of: The tavern. It was the place I visited the most, because A: I love me a good drink every once in a while. And B: The bartender there is my best friend, but I don't tell James that.

I opened the door, and happened to bump into one of my few enemies here in Ponyville: Flash Sentry. Here in Ponyville, Princess Twilight's castle was originally unguarded. However, due to possibilities that rogue members of Bunker 34 could still be in Equestria...they had to have at least four royal guards live in Ponyville at all times. One of them happened to be him. Why do I hate this guy? To start, his overall demeanor is what my mother would call "ass-kissery." He's ALWAYS got something nice to say to Princess Twilight. I can't STAND people like that. He also tries his best to stand out from the crowd, like he's the best. Again, can't stand that. I was once a protector, myself...but I never kissed the feet of those who hired me. If anything...I gave my commander, and my fellow guards a hard time. Remember why Finn and I were enemies? Finn hated it when I commented on things. I kind of have a problem with pointing out things I find stupid or annoying. If I think someone is annoying, or dumb...I'll tell it to their face. And that's exactly why Flash and I are enemies. He hated me, and I hated him.

I literally bumped right into Flash and his three fellow guards. We didn't say a word to each other, and I walked past him while he and his friend left the tavern. I went up to the main table, and sat right in front of the bartender, Berry Punch. She noticed me and greeted me with a smile.

"Hey, Luke! The usual?" Berry asked.

"The usual, but make it a little taller. I just bumped into Flash again." I said.

"What's with you and him, anyways?" Berry asked as she poured my drink and sat it on the table.

"Something that you might never understand."

I started downing my cider. Yeah, I know. Before you comment, let me just say that I deal with a lot of crap. Dealing with idiots at least once a day, combined with getting kicked out of Will's house made me a little thirstier than usual. I finished it in just fifteen seconds, and slammed the wooden mug down onto the table.

"Something bothering you, sweetie?" Berry asked. Yes, she calls me "sweetie" sometimes. Not really gonna complain.

"Eh, William kicked me out of his house today. Now I'm just stuck with the clothes on my back, my bits, and an assload of guns!" I responded.

"What do you plan to do now?" she asks as she starts cleaning a glass.

"To be honest, I really don't know. I might spend the night at the Inn, but other than that...I'm not sure where to live, or how to make a living."

"Don't you sell labor services like Will and James?"

"First, I don't do manual labor. I protect. Second: There are not many requests for a mercenary to protect them."

"Well, have you ever considered a steady job?"

"Who would hire me?"

"What about AJ's farm?"

"Will works there. He gets all lovey-dovey with her, and to be honest...I do NOT want to put up with having to see that crap."

"What about Carousel Boutique?"

"Nein. I spent YEARS perfecting my military skills, I don't think someone like me would fit in an environment like that. Listen, I know she gets a lot of well-known customers. And YOU know that I say what's on my mind," I lean towards her, "Do you even know what I called Photo Finish yesterday?"

"No?" Berry asked.

"Just wait until the paper comes out tomorrow, because the paparazzi was there."

"Okay, well...what about Pinkie Pie?"

"What about her?"

"You could try getting a job at Sugarcube Corner."

"Well...I do like baking."

"You baked at the bunker you were in?"

"I wasn't supposed to, but nobody ever stopped me...because I could bake a cake that would bring Gordon Ramsay to his knees."

"Well, there you go. Just to ask Mr. and Mrs. Cake for a job."

"That's a good idea. I should probably go ask now."

"Alright. See you soon, sweetie."

He paid for his drink and exited the tavern. His gun bag with him, he walked all the way to Sugarcube Corner. He opened the door, and was INSTANTLY face-to-face with Pinkie Pie. This was weird, because she wasn't as tall as Luke. She somehow stretched her neck to meet him at eye level.

"Hi, Lukie!" she said before bringing her neck back to normal.

"Uh...hey, Pinkie..." Luke responded.

"What's up?"

"I was wondering if I could get a job here. Will kicked me out of his house, so I need to make money to get a place to live."

"Oh, uh..."

Luke had a bad reputation in town for coming off as rude and obnoxious. As much as he hated to admit it, it was true. He said what was on his mind, no matter how hurtful it was. While he was trying to get better with his attitude, ponies were still a little paranoid around him. Pinkie knew this all too well, but she didn't want to hurt Luke's feelings. She wanted to help him out, because she was some of the few ponies in town he considered a friend.

"Why don't you order something while I talk to Mr. and Mrs. Cake about it?" Pinkie asked.

"Sure. Can I get a muffin?" Luke asked.

"Sure! Oh look, it's the last one! Lucky you!"

Luke paid for the muffin and sat at a table. He wasn't too hungry at the moment, so he just sat there thinking. At the same time, Pinkie was talking to the Cakes about hiring Luke in the kitchen.

"Come on, why not? He's my friend." Pinkie said.

"I know, Pinkie...but you know about the reputation that Luke has," Mrs. Cake said.

"He might scare away the customers, Pinkie." Mr. Cake added.

"Oh come on! He can be really nice if you get to know him..." Pinkie said.

"Pinkie..."

"Hello?" A voice said at the front desk.

Pinkie exited the kitchen, and saw Derpy Hooves standing in front of the desk.

"Oh. Hi, Derpy! The usual?" Pinkie asked.

"Yes, please! One muffin, please!" Derpy responded, cheerily.

"Okie dokie! Let me just get the oven ready."

Pinkie re-entered the kitchen, and attempted to activate the oven. When she did, though, it made a weird grunting noise. Suddenly, the dial on it popped off. Luckily, this had nothing to do with the gas. Just the controls.

"Uhh...Mr. Cake? I think the oven's broken..." Pinkie said.

"Huh?" Mr. Cake came over to her, "Oh no...this will take an entire day to fix."

"Should we just close up for today?"

"I don't think we have much of a choice. We'll just have to sell what's left for today before closing up."

Pinkie exited the kitchen and got back behind the front desk.

"Sorry, Derpy...we're out of muffins, and the oven's broken..." Pinkie said.

"Aww...ok..." Derpy said, her crossed eyes looking sad.

Luke was watching that little display from where he was sitting. He also saw Derpy. He had seen her around Ponyville every once in a while, and would feel sorry for her due to her clumsiness. She would trip, fall, deliver mail to the wrong places and get yelled at, and not understand why.

"Excuse me, Miss Derpy?" Luke asked, motioning her to come over to him.

"Huh?" She asked, coming over to him.

"I'm not really hungry, and I haven't taken a bite from my muffin. You have it instead."

"Really?"

"Yeah, sure."

Luke places the muffin in Derpy's waiting hooves. She smiles wide, sets the muffin on the table, and wraps Luke in a big hug.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! You're not as bad as everyone says you are, Mr. Luke." Derpy said before releasing her hug and flying out of the bakery with the muffin in her hooves.

Luke chuckled a little. Weird. He thought. Why do I feel so...warm? is that what being nice feels like?

Pinkie was still behind the front desk, and she saw the whole thing. The Cakes were also watching it as well, and were shocked to see such a gentle and kind deed done by someone who had a reputation for being uncouth.

"See?" Pinkie said, "Luke's not as bas as you think he is. Come on, give him a job. Please?"

"Well...okay. But the oven's not working. We can't hire him yet, he's got nothing to do." Mr. Cake said.

"Well, what about that date you wanted to take Mrs. Cake on? Luke can babysit the twins tonight!"

"I don't know...what do you think, hon?"

"Pinkie always tells us Luke is a soldier, I think that's good enough." Mrs. Cake responded.

"Well...okay then."

Pinkie's face lit up, and she smiled.

"Luke!" She said, jumping over the front desk and getting in Luke's face.

"...yeah..?" Luke asked, awkwardly.

"You've got a job!"

"Oh, sweet! When do I start?"

"Tonight!"

"Cool, what do I do?"

"Well, the oven is broken...so you're going to be babysitting the twins while the Cakes are on a date!"

"Wait, what?"

"Don't worry! You'll only have to do it one time, and when the oven is fixed...you can start baking tomorrow!"

"Why do I get the feeling that it's not going to be as easy as you're saying it is?"

"That's because it's not."

"At least you're being honest with me."

Author's Note

Stay tuned for the next chapter: "Luke The Babysitter"

PS: I know, Luke has been taking the spotlight lately. Don't worry, Will and James will get their turns as well. Until then, thanks for reading. And as always, have a nice day.