I was woken out of my slumber somewhat abruptly. My brain took a moment to boot up from my dreamless sleep. I heard moaning. Not the happy kind either. I cracked my eyes open. Everything was fuzzy and indistinct, but I could make out the room somewhat. I blinked a couple times but it didn’t help. Sighing, I reached up a hand and rubbed my eyes. Blinking a couple more times, I could finally see properly.

I took a quick glance around the room. There were more flowers on the bedside table to my left, along with what looked like a note, but I’d read that later. Glancing outside showed that it was turning to evening, the blue sky darkening ever so slowly. The edge of the horizon was a melding of red and orange.

Feeling a weight on my legs I looked down to see Pinkie taking up most of the lower half of the bed. She was flopped over my legs with her.... butt? No, she’s a Pony.. Anthro-Pony.... Soooo... Flank? That works. Her flank was only barely in the chair she had pulled over. Her poofy mane (What I assumed to be normal for her.) was straight, covering half of her face. My heart clenched painfully when I saw her face. It was is a mask of sadness, tears rolled down her her muzzle and dripped down onto the bed. Her hands were clutching the sheets close to her.

My heart broke.

Then Pinkie moaned something in her sleep. “N-no... Y-you’re wr-wrong..... N-not -t-true....”

I reached out to her, then froze, remembering Tia’s words. Quickly looking around to wake the poor mare, I reached out and grabbed the flowers. Only for said flowers to wilt as they and my hand were engulfed in a vile green glow. The flowers disintegrated, leaving me feeling a little better, but also leaving me staring at an empty fist. “Shit...” I swore, dropping my hand back to the bed. Looking back to Pinkie, I saw that she was shaking, her eyes clenched shut almost as if she were in physical pain.

This wouldn’t be very nice, but desperate times... I reached behind me and managed to pull out one of the many pillows without ripping it on my back spikes. I held the pillow with the barest hint of a frown on my face. “I’m sorry.” I said. Then I threw the pillow at her.

*Paff.*

Nothing. She was still asleep, just with a pillow leaning against her side. Which she proceeded to grab and squeeze like her life depended on it.

Not deterred, I grabbed another one. This time I threw it at her head.

*Paff*

Same result. Pinkie shifted slightly and the pillow flopped onto the floor.

Now I was both worried for the mare and irritated that she was so hard to wake up.

I sighed and got yet another pillow. This one I held onto as I leaned forward (Which was only slightly painful.), raised my arm, and brought the pillow down on Pinkie’s head.

*PAFF!*

“GAH!” Pinkie snapped awake so fast she instantly sat up straight, which made her chair lean back, making her and the chair tumble to the floor with a crash! Pinkie flailed briefly before sitting up and looking around the room in a half-panic. “What?! What Happened?! Why am I on the floor?! Why am I holding a pillow?! Why am I crying?! I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!”

I did know whether to laugh or try to hobble out of the room in fear. Instead I took the calm approach. “Ahem.” I quietly cleared my throat, causing Pinkie to blink up at me owlishly. “I’m sorry that was my fault. I hit you with a pillow.”

Pinkie narrowed her eyes at me. “And why did you hit me with a pillow?”

“You were moaning in your sleep and apparently you’re a heavy sleeper. That was the third pillow I tried.” I gestured to the one now on the floor across from the bed and the one she still held.

She flushed ever so slightly. “What kind of moaning?”

“Not that kind.” I blinked at her, though internally I was feeling just as awkward. “The heartbreaking kind. You were sobbing and moaning stuff in your sleep. Not true. You’re wrong. Things like that. My educated guess? You were having a nightmare.”

“Oh...” Pinkie blinked, looking away from me for a moment. I noted that her hair was still down, so did she style it every day?

“Do you remember what you were dreaming about?” I ask, sad that I couldn’t sound concerned for her.

She hesitated. There was a brief tension in her muscles. The slightest glance away. The briefest look of hurt in her eyes. “No.” Then she smiled up at me. “Must’ve been nothing.”

Poor mare. I hope she tells me the truth in time. Though if she doesn’t that’s her choice. “Must’ve been.” I nodded.

Pinkie moved to get up. She reset up her chair, retrieved the pillows, and walked over to me. “Lean forward.” She said, still smiling at me. Said smiling was slowly turning from a mask to a real smile. I also noted that her hair was slowly beginning to curl into its normal poofiness. Hmmm, mood hair? I’ll have to ask her about it later. Pinkie fluffed the pillows and replaced them behind me, including taking the one I’d hit her with. While she did this I reached over and grabbed the note. Turns out, it was actually a note.

“What’s that?” Pinkie asked.

“A note.” I responded.

“I can see that, but what does the note say.” I could feel her glare.

“You’re snarky when you wake up.” I glanced at her.

Pinkie sighed and shrugged. “Can’t be happy all the time.”

“You have a valid point there.” I nodded, then watched as she sat back down in her chair, analyzing her.

She cocked her head to the side. “What?”

“Nothing.” I shook my head. “You okay in that chair? Doesn’t look that comfortable.”

“It’s not.” She looks at the bed and me. “The bed seems big enough.”

“It is.” I nodded.

“Wanna scoot over some?” She asked, looking a little hopeful.

“You’d wanna share a bed with an Old Orc like me?” I quirked an eyebrow. I chose not to think about the fact I just referred to myself as an Old Orc.

“You’re not old, and yes I do.” Pinkie says, standing up with small smile on her face and a mischievous glint in her eye.

“Aren’t you afraid I’ll touch you?” I cocked my head to the side. I don’t know what was happening in this conversation but I loved it.

“You can touch me all you want, just be careful where you put your hands.” Pinkie said keeping the same face as I slowly scooted to the left.

What’s happening?

“You really expect me to be handsy?” I asked as Pinkie half-sat, half-laid down next to me (Causing the bed to squeak slightly.) and got comfortable.

“I don’t know.” Pinkie smirked a little and raised a brow at me. “There’s a lot of me to be handsy with.”

Oh Lord.

“That there is.” I nodded.

Fuck it. I’ll just ride the rapids of this conversation and see where I end up. I ran out of fucks to give yesterday and I couldn’t go home to get more. “That’s not a bad thing though. Far from it.”

“Damn right, it’s not.” Pinkie’s smirk turned into a grin. “You couldn’t handle all of this.”

“Not at the moment, no,” I raised a hand, “but I might be able to if I drain a few pounds.”

“Yeah... No. Save the kinky stuff for the fifth date.” Pinkie tried to give me a flat look but couldn’t hide her smile.

“Why the fifth?” I blinked, somewhat confused.

“First date’s making out, second date’s foreplay, third date’s normal sex, fourth date’s butt stuff, and fifth date’s weird stuff.” Pinkie listed, somehow maintaining a semi-straight face.

“You haven’t been on any dates have you.” That wasn’t a question.

“No I have not.” Pinkie said, grinning proudly with her hands on her ample hips. “Because I’m weird and ponies can’t handle me.”

“Neither have I.” My face cracked a small smile. “Because I’m weird and people thought I was just doing a bit. A very long bit.”

“Well fuck them!” Pinkie thrust out her chest at her exclamation and I was glad I couldn’t show how I was feeling because..... Damn.

“Ugh.. No. I wouldn’t fuck them if they paid me.” I snorted in disgust.

“You’ve got a point there.” Pinkie relaxed, flopping backwards. “Why is that a- Ah!”

Pinkie forgot my spikes were there and proceeded to flop into me, which happened to take me down with her. The pillows decided to beat a hasty retreat and popped out from underneath us, bursting out from either side of the bed like the result of stomping on a tube of toothpaste. I ended up as flat-backed as I could get with the spikes on my back making my spine twinge in a slightly uncomfortable manner. This also resulted in Pinkie losing her seated balance and rolling into me.

We were now, very, close. However, the plus side, she was warm and I wasn’t wearing much of anything.

Wait....

Am I naked?

No wait. I had briefs on...

But those really didn’t cover anything. So I was still basically naked.

Huh..... Well that’s a thing, I guess.

Pinkie’s face was inches away from mine. “Hi.” She said a little sheepishly.

“Hi there.” I stated.

“Sorry about that.” She giggled.

“Meh.” I shrugged.

“I’m awkward.” She said with the barest hint of a blush.

“Hi Awkward, I’m Anti-Social. Nice to meet you.” I nodded at her.

“Nice to meet you too.” She said, her playful smirk returning.

“Comfortable?” I asked.

“I could be more comfortable.” She almost purred with bedroom eyes.

“Oh, how so?” I raised an inquisitive brow.

“Well I just remembered that you’re only wearing underwear and that’s it’d be rude if I didn’t do the same.” Her pur continued.

“Do what you want. I’m easy.” I shrugged once more. Internally however, my heart was racing like a jackhammer and I was filled with all of the emotions.

Is this an anime? Because this feels like it’s turning into an M-Rated anime right now.

Her giggle returned. “You’re just letting me talk. Most try to stop me at this point.”

“Why would I?” I asked. “This is helping me avoid thinking about my life now. Thank you for this.”

“Oh, you’re welcome.” She grinned.

Her face fell ever so slightly to a look of thoughtfulness. “We’re going to end up together, aren’t we?”

All of my raging emotions immediately quelled like a raging storm being quelled into a peaceful sea.

That question should have horrified me. But for some reason I couldn’t really explain, that thought just didn’t bother me. It made me feel warm and fuzzy actually. Almost... hopeful...

Like somebody tells you the ending to a movie, but you're not mad because you want to see how you get to that ending. Only part of the enjoyment is the ending, the rest is the journey there. I had a feeling I’d enjoy the entire spectacle.

...

Whoa....

Where’d that come from?

Pinkie actually looked worried. “S-sorry, that kinda just slipped out.”

“It’s fine. “ I gave her my small smile. “And to answer your question, probably.”

Pinkie blinked, looking a little shocked. “N-normally guys run for the hills when I say that.”

“Do you really expect me to be running anywhere in my condition?” I said flatly.

Pinkie’s face split into a grin and she giggled. “No, you’d probably fall over.”

“Heh heh, true.” I nodded.

Pinkie gave a small gasp. “Oh my gosh! You laughed!”

“As close as I can get to laughing.” I shrugged for the umpteenth time.

“I’m happy you can laugh.” Pinkie’s grin softened to a warm smile. “You need it.”

“Yes, I suppose I do. Heh.” I let out a soft chuckle.

“Friends?” Pinkie suddenly asked.

“I thought that was obvious. Especially if we’re going to end up together by some kind of magical-fate-destiny stuff.” I smiled at her.

“Yeah!” Pinkie grinned and held out a hand.

I high-fived her on instinct.

We simultaneously froze. Pinkie’s eyes widened as she paled. I felt myself pale as well. Slowly both of us looked at our hands. Out palms were touching, fingers matching. Mine were much larger and much thinner than hers, almost skeletal in comparison.

Neither of us dared to breathe. We just stared for a solid minute.

“Aren’t you supposed to be sucking my life out through my hand right now?” Pinkie whispered.

“I thought so, yeah.” I nodded, also whispering.

“Why aren’t you?” She hissed.

“I have no idea. I don’t know how I work.” Internally I was doing my best not to panic.

“Well are you thinking about suppressing whatever it is you do?” She asked.

“No, I’m thinking about you only in your underwear, thanks for that by the way.” I responded, wishing I could sound annoyed.

Pinkie winced a little. “Well I’m both sorry and not sorry.”

“I bet you are.” I narrowed my eyes a bit.

“Are you sure it actually does what they say?” She kept glancing between me and our hands.

“I drained the flowers in the vase before you woke up.” I said. For some reason we were both still whispering.

Pinkie briefly popped her head up to look at the vase, then looked back to me. “There were flowers in there?”

“Yeah, you were having a nightmare and I didn’t know what I could do to wake you so I grabbed the flowers without thinking. My fist and the flowers glowed green, then the flowers disintegrated.” I explained.

Pinkie immediately burst into giggles. “Is that why you had to use pillows?”

“Heh heh. Yes, yes it was.” I chuckled.

Suddenly, like flipping a switch, her mischievous smirk returned. “You know what this means?” She purred once again.

“What?” Just.... God Damn woman! I know it’s better to start as friends and go from there, but you are tempting me something fierce!

“You can put your hands all over me now.” She breathed.

My entire body shivered at once. Pinkie only grinned when I did.

“Pinkie?” I began.

“Hmmmm?” She hummed playfully.

“Am I your outlet for all your pent up sexual tension?” I asked.

Pinkie blinked. “Yeah....”

“Is it because you’re always happy, boisterous. and random around your friends, and virtually everyone else for that matter, resulting in them thinking you’re innocent and childish? When on the inside you’re a full grown mare who’s just weird and wants to have fun. This results in nobody ever seeing you for you, always seeing the persona of Pinkie Pie the adorable goofball and not Pinkamena Diane Pie the mare who has wants, and needs, and fears like everyone else. Thus you have no one to vent to about things that bother you, and you have no outlet for all of your pent up sexual needs and/or tension. Which results in your sporadic sprinkling of things from innuendo to downright blatant advances during this conversation. All because I’m probably one of the few people to accept you as you are, instead of treating you as the person they perceive you to be. I’m getting the unfiltered Pinkie that nobody else gets to see, and I must say, I like it.” When I finished Pinkie was slack-jawed.

“H-how did you know that?” She said with a bit of a stutter.

“Jared Sense.” I stated.

Pinkie blinked, face still held in shock.

“So that’s what that feels like.”

Author's Note

This chapter was actually inspired by the Deadpool movie of all things.
Also, the banter flowed like water during writing.