Of Bones and Balloons

Pinkamena cried herself out within minutes but we decided to lay there. Simply holding each other and basking in each others warmth. The last rays of sunlight were fading beyond the horizon, leaving us illuminated only by the overhead lights.

Pinkamena stirred, letting out a quiet giggle. “I think it might be time to get out of the shower. We’ve been in here awhile.”

Like she just tempted Fate, there was a knock on the bathroom door. “Jared? Pinkie Pie?” Came Celestia’s voice from beyond the door.

“Now that you’ve been calling me Pinkamena, hearing Pinkie Pie just sounds weird now.” Pinkamena looked confused, yet thoughtful.

I shrugged. “I get that.”

“We’re alive.” Pinkamena called out. “We’ll be out in a minute.”

“Oh! Okay!” Tia replied sounding a little surprised. “Umm, take your time.”

Pinkamena quietly giggled as she got up, stood up fully, and helped me up. She helped me out of the shower and when she did, I got an idea. Pinkamena was furry and wet. What happens when you towel off something furry and wet?

“Can I get a towel?” I asked innocently enough when she helped me out of the shower.

“Sure.” She smiled happily unaware of my devious plan. She wandered over to the drawers below the sinks and pull out a towel. I hobbled after her. The moment she handed it to me, I gently shook it loose. Pinkamena stood up straight, holding her own towel and smiling warmly at me. Oh, if she only knew what was to come.

I struck.

“Gah!” Pinkamena yelped as I half-staggered forward and wrapped her up in the towel.

I began to towel her off as fast as my frail hands could move. Which wasn’t all that fast, but Pinkamena didn’t seem to care. She laughed at my attentions. “Wh-ha-hat a-are yo-hoo-ou d-doing?!”

“You’re going to be so fluffy. Heh heh heh.” I chuckled. “I demand a fluffy pony.”

After a manic minute of toweling her off, I let the poor mare go and backed up a step.

Pinkamena was now nice and dry. Nothing seemed to have changed. Then with a *pomf* her coat puffed out and her mane and tail got all poofy. She blinked in surprise as I smiled, really wishing I could grin right now. Her face changed from one of surprise to the bland look I saw earlier. She crossed her arms over her chest and raised a brow. “Really? You just wanted to make me fluffy?”

“You’re cute when you’re fluffy.” I shrugged.

“Bitch, I’m always fluffy. And for surprising me.” Her mane deflated, becoming flat once more. “You no get fluffy.”

“Awwwww...” My smile faded. “Wait... how did you do that?”

“Hon, I’m Pinkamena, I ain’t gotta explain shit.” She smirked at me.

“I have no come back to that.” I blinked, trying my best not to lose it over how she did that.

“Ah ha!” She pointed at me. “Point: me!” Her smile faded to a slightly embarrassed, awkward look. “Though, I really don’t know how I do it either to be honest. I just do things.” She shrugged. “Supposedly it’s a weird trait I get from my mom’s side of the family.”

“Oh?” I asked, cocking my head to the side as Pinkamena walked over to me and began to towel me off with the towel she’d pulled out. “Do tell.”

“Well.” she began while rubbing down my spikes and spine, “supposedly waaaay back in the family tree on my mom’s side, I had an ancestor that wasn’t a pony.”

“Huh, could this be the source of the curse that your dad mentioned?” I asked as she moved on to toweling off my legs.

“Yeah.” Pinkamena nodded.

“Well, do you know what whatever-it-was, was?” Try saying that five times fast.

“Nope, too far back. Wasn’t recorded.” She shook her head. “But whatever it was made certain females in our family different. My Granny Pie could supposedly do some magic even though she wasn’t a unicorn. Though all she could do was levitate rocks.”

“And you can?...” I let the question hang in the air.

“From what I’ve actually noticed. I can manipulate certain things that deal with my body, like making my hair poofy or flat like you saw. Also I get these weird sixth sense, psychic awareness kinda thing.”

“Like you feel what’s going to happen before it happens?”

“Exactly.” Pinkamena nodded. “Also, I’m pretty sure I’ve teleported at least once. Because no way can somepony with my build move that fast around a kitchen.”

“Maybe this is another thing we get to discover. Heh.” I chuckled. “I figure out how to use my evil ungodly powers, and you get to learn how you do world breaking stuff as an earth pony.”

“Woo! Cue, Training Montage!” Pinkamena giggled as she moved on to drying off my head.

“Oh God no, please.” I shook my head causing the towel to actually squeak on my bald head. We both froze. My eyes met hers and Pinkamena held back her giggles as I blushed. “Anyway,” I coughed. “I’m still tired from our shower fun. I don’t have the energy for a montage.”

“Well fine, but you owe me a montage later.” She faux-pouted at me as she stepped back, finished with her work.

“Deal.” I nodded and gave her a thumbs up as she tossed the used towels down a laundry chute. Pinkamena then went and retrieved out discarded underwear. She walked over and handed me mine, supporting me while I pulled mine on. I backed up and leaned against the counter as Pinkamena proceeded to don her own clothing.

“Like what you see?” She asked, giving me a sultry smirk.

“Love what I see.” I smiled back at her. I glanced over at the door. “Tia have you been lurking there the whole time?”

There was a moment of silence. “No...” Came the response from the other side of the door.

“Right....” I stated. “Well back up, we’re coming out.”

“Are you decent?” Tia asked, sounding a little nervous.

“Define decent?” Pinkamena asked as she clipped her bra back together.

“Ummm... Are you wearing clothes?”

Pinkamena shot me a glance and smirked at me. I held up a hand to silence her before she could respond. “Define clothes.”

“Dear Faust, Nurse Petal wasn’t kidding.” I could almost feel Tia’s dumb look.

Pinkamena was covering her mouth to stop herself from laughing as she walked over to me and supported me so we could walk to the door together. She opened the door and I noticed that Tia was at the far end of the room, now in a more regal white dress, golden armbands, and a rather impressive gold crown.. When I went to walk out of the bathroom there was a clack of bone on stone and a spike of pain lanced up and down my spine.

“Hnnnnt! Mother-” I grunted in pain as I backed up. I swiveled my head to the side and glared at my spikes, which I had somehow forgotten momentarily.

“You alright?” Pinkamena immediately asked. “That sounded like it hurt.”

“Stupid spikes attached to my stupid spine.” I muttered in response as we turned as one so I could sidestep out of the doorway. Once back in the room proper, I noticed that there were new sheets on the bed and a new vase full of flowers on the bed-side table. Pinkamena pulled back the sheets and helped me into bed. Once I was situated, Pinkamena herself slide in next to me. Tia simply watched us getting situated silently, with a slightly confused look on her face.

“When I heard about you and Pinkie here, I honestly didn’t expect this.” Tia said sounding slightly confused.

“Love works in mysterious ways. And I’m not talking about Cadence either.” I shrugged.

“Yeah, like she was any help earlier.” Pinkamena snorted in irritation.

“Hey, be nice.” I scolded gently.

“But she just was off in her own little world while you were having a full-on mental breakdown!” She glared at me.

“Pinkamena, I know you’re mad at her, but right now that’s the furthest thing from my mind. She can come apologise later.” I calmly booped Pinkamena’s nose.

Her eyes crossed and she she sniffled, before sighing heavily. “Fine. But I’m still mad at her.”

“You’re allowed to be mad at her. That’s fine.” I nodded then returned my attention to Tia. I folded my hands in my lap and smiled at her. “So Tia, how was Court today?”

Tia blinked momentarily then shook herself. “Fine! It was fine. Normal day in Court. You know, Nobles wanting this and that, farmers disagreeing over old land rights. The usual.” She chuckled softly and waved a hand through the air.

“Well that sounds absolutely hellish.” I stated. “You look nice in your royal regalia.”

“Yeah, she does.” Pinkamena nodded, then rested her head on my shoulder like she had a few times before. If this was going to be a normal thing, I did not mind one bit.

“Well thank you.” Tia nodded in appreciation. “And how are you doing, you appear to be doing a little better.” Her face fell. “I heard about your breakdown, I’m sorry...”

I held up a hand to silence her. “It was the first of many I assume. But what’s important is I’m alive, and I have Pinkamena here with me.” I glanced over at the flowers for a moment and I got another idea. I looked over at the mare next to me. “Hey Pinkamena, wanna see something weird?”

She looked up to meet my eyes, still looking a little grumpy. “You know, I know you’re just trying to make me feel better because of the Cadence thing, but yes. Yes I do.”

I held up my left hand, causing both mares to stare at it. I looked over at the flowers and wrapped my hand around the stems. Instantly my hand and the flowers were surrounded by the sickly green glow I’d seen twice before. Only this time there was an eerie low thrumming noise that accompanied said glow. However, like before, The flowers swiftly withered, turned black, and finally turned to dust. I faintly felt something flow from the flowers into me, leaving me feeling the smallest bit better than before. The glow and thrumming died as I shook the dust from my hand and returned it to the bed. I glanced between the two mares. Tia had a look that was somewhere between disturbed and hurt. Pinkamena on the other hand was staring at me with her mouth hanging open. She actually looked awed.

“That was cool....” She said slowly. Then she shook herself. “Well, horrifying in context with what you could potentially do to a person, but cool nonetheless.”

I nodded. “I don’t get much of anything from them. I think it’s because they’ve been clipped and don’t have much life in them to begin with. I think larger things would take much more time to drain, and ponies-slash-people more time than that. I don’t think that I could drain someone anywhere near as fast as that, at least to start with I assume I’d have to actively try to drain someone to make it go faster.” I said, absentmindedly scratching my beard. “This is all theoretical of course.” I said glancing at Tia, who looked hurt more than anything else.

“I’m sorry.” She said quietly. I saw a single tear roll down her cheek. “This is my fault. I did this.”

“Celestia.” Saying her full name got her attention. “This wasn’t you. This wasn’t Discord. Though I do have some choice words for that Chaos God when he decides to come out from his corner. What caused this was beyond both of your controls. Yes I’m still mad at you and Discord for essentially kidnapping me and changing me, and I’ll be able to forgive you eventually, but the cause of this radical of a change wasn’t your fault. Now since I can’t exactly give you a hug without risking hurting you,” I glanced over at Pinkamena, “Pinkamena will you go and hug Tia?”

“Sure.” Pinkamena smiled a little sadly as she slid out of bed and walked over to pull the taller mare into a hug. Which Tia gratefully accepted. Pinkamena then broke the hug and returned to her spot next to me. She spoke up when she got herself settled once again. “New topic. Something not as sad. I think that’d help all of us. It’s already been an emotionally draining day.”

“Preach! Heh heh.” I chuckled, putting an arm around Pinkamena as she snuggling into my side.

“Jared?” Tia’s voice got my attention and I looked over at the ruler. She looked curious now.

“Hmmm?” I responded.

“How do you suppose you can touch Pinkamena without draining her?” She asked, looking a little hopeful.

“You’re asking the wrong people.” Pinkamena responded for me.

“So... no theories?” Tia now looking less hopeful.

“Again, wrong people to ask.” I said. Pinkamena giggled and raised a hand. I high-fived her.

“I suppose it is a bit early for such questions.” Tia’s face flushed in embarrassment.

“No, no, please continue to ask us questions that we can’t answer. It’ll pass the time until we get tired enough to sleep.” Pinkamena said in a deadpan voice while raising a brow at the diarch. “Though since we slept most of the day away anyway, that might be awhile.”

“I love you.” I said with a smile as I leaned over and kissed her forehead.

“Moon Petal was right. You two are cute together.” Tia commented, sounding almost surprised.

“You’re Faust damn right we are!” Pinkamena grinned at the Princess.

“Heh heh. So any reason you showed up besides to check on me?” I asked, returning my gaze to Tia.

Tia blinked at me momentarily, as if processing my question. “Oh! Yes actually!” She stated happily with a grin. “I wanted to give these to you earlier but with everything being hectic and you falling asleep, I didn’t get the chance to.” Tia bent over and grabbed something at the foot of the bed. She brought up a blue gift bag and walked around the bed to hold it out to me.

Odd. That bag looked familiar.

“Awww. Did you get him a gift?” Pinkamena asked as I stared at the bag.

“No. This is from someone else. I honestly can’t believe it survived the journey.” Tia responded, shaking her head as I upended the bag onto my lap.

The figures of Blackhand, Gul’dan, and Doomhammer landed in my lap.

As did my cell phone and earbuds.

I froze. Slowly, I reached out reaching out and took hold of my phone. The phone now felt tiny and somewhat fragile. Hitting the button, the screen lit up and the password lock appeared. I tried to enter my password but my fingers were too big to do it right. After a few attempts Pinkie’s slender hands took the phone from me.

“What’s your password?” She asked, her voice was calming.

“1285.” I responded dully.

Pinkamena easily entered the code. The first thing to appear was Kingdom Hearts 2 Dearly Beloved paused on my music screen. My eyes begin to sting as tears welled up in my eyes. Pinkamena hit play and the room filled with music. Instantly I got chills as I felt myself relax.

“Oh... That’s beautiful.” Pinkamena said while sighing.

“It’s my high blood pressure destroyer music.” I said slowly as I turned my attention to the figures in my lap. “It’s funny. The only things I have left to remind me of my life on Earth are a cell phone and three figures, heh.” I chuckled dryly as I closed my eyes and let my head fall into my hand.

“I’m so-” Tia tried to say.

You know what? No.

I brought my head up and stared at the alabaster alicorn. “Tia if you say I’m sorry one more time I’m going to have Pinkamena hit you. I know you’re sorry. Beating yourself up over this isn’t helping anyone, especially you. Apologies can’t fix this. I don’t want your apologies right now. I need your support right now, and I want you to be better.” I sighed, now kicking myself for how harsh those words were. “Sorry...”

“N-no.” Tia said, looking a little shaken. “You’re right. Beating myself up isn’t helping anyone.”

“As harsh as that was, you weren’t wrong.” I felt Pinkamena’s hand entwine with mine. She gave it a light squeeze. “I think she might’ve needed to hear that.”

“Thanks.” I glanced over to see that Pinkamena had pulled away a bit and was smiling weakly at me. “Still was a little uncalled for.”

“Jared, your feelings are as valid as hers are.” Pinkamena gestured the hand holding the phone at Tia. “It’s perfectly understandable for you to feel hurt and angry and anything else. You don’t have to feel bad for feeling that way. You have been victimized. Your feelings are valid.”

I blinked at her a couple times.

Whoa. She’s really good at this.

“I don’t need a therapist. I have you.” I responded with a smile while giving her hand a light squeeze.

“Honestly both of you need to calm down and just take some time. Let you mind work through what it needs to work through.” Pinkamena returned her head to my shoulder.

“Jared, you are not wrong.” Tia sounded a little stunned. “Pinkamena, have you considered going to school for counseling services?”

“Nah. I’m good. I just had a great teacher for Psyche in college.” Pinkamena shrugged with a giggle.

“Now I kinda wish I’d taken Psychology in school. Heh heh.” I chuckled.

“Oh, Jared, before I forget. Twilight is going to bring you some books to read.” Tia spoke up, completely changing the topic.

Books?! I love books!

I looked back over at her. “Oh really? What books?”

“Someone’s excited. You’re shivering.” Pinkamena giggled.

“I love to read, so sue me.” I briefly glanced at the cheekily grinning mare.

“Well, I would but you’re broke.” The pink mare responded.

“Hmmph. So, does that mean you’ll pay for all our dates?” I asked, turning my head fully to look at her as Tia started giggling.

“On my salary? Oh fuck no. We’ll have to come up with special ways to do our dates.” Pinkamena smirked lustfully at me.

“Are your dating rules still in effect, or did they go out the window?” I asked with my small smile.

“Those were thrown out when we came together in the shower.” Pinkamena gave me bedroom eyes.

Dammit! Down boy! You finished like five-ten-something minutes ago!

“Ahem... I-I’m still right here.” Tia’s voice made both of us look at her. She was blushing hard and trying not to look in our general direction.

“And/You’re point?” Pinkamena and I said simultaneously.

There was a knock that drew all of our attention. “Tia? Sister you weren’t at dinner. I-”

The door opened and a mare stepped in and froze that moment she got through the door and closed it. The mare wasn’t quite as tall as Tia, but was a little more muscled. She was jet black, with a long flowing mane that looked like a patch of the night sky. A long black spiral horn protruded from her forehead and clawed “fingers” her massive batlike wings dragged on the ground. Her slitted, almost draconic, blue eyes swept the room and she gasped when she saw me. Her opened mouth showing a sizable pair of fangs. Instead of a dress like Tia’s, show wore an armored battle dress of light blue metal. With armored hoof-shoes, gauntlets, breastplate, and a metal skirt that went down just past her knees. A crown of black metal, whole thing ringed in sapphires, sat atop her head.

The dark alicorn’s eyes swiftly glanced from Tia, to Pinkamena, to me, to the boner I’d unfortunately grown thank’s to Pinkamena, then back to my face.

There was an almost tense moment of silence. Then the mare spoke.

“That’s a rather impressive boner you have there.”

“I know right?!” Pinkamena cried happily.

“My sister, a Princess, just complimented your boner.” Tia facepalmed.

“She complimented my dick, yes.” I nodded with a smile then turned to address the Princess of the Night.

“Hello Luna, it’s nice to finally meet you.”