“Jared.” Tia tried to coax my gaze away from the table.

Nope.

I refused to look at her.

“Jared, it’s not that bad.” She continued.

In response I looked at Pinkamena. Who, oddly enough, looked as uncomfortable as I was. She was giving me a look that said, ‘this was a poor decision,’ as she prodded at her mostly uneaten salad with a fork.

“Perhaps we went a little too far?” Blueblood suggested, sounding a little ashamed.

“Maybe a bit?” Cadence sounded more concerned.

“Nonsense! They just need to actually look at us.” I could feel Luna’s grin directed at us.

I noticed a small detail about Pinkamena while I was looking at her, specifically how she held her fork. “Pinkamena, are you left handed?”

“Yep. I am actually.” A small smile grew on her face as the mare continued to poke at her salad.

“Huh. Interesting.” I nodded. Huh, learn something new every day.

“And you’re right handed, like most people are.” Pinkamena stuck out her tongue at me. Then she glanced at my untouched salad. “You’re not eating.”

“Not hungry.” I shrugged. “Just doesn’t feel like eating.”

“Maybe your magic makes it so you don’t need to?” Pinkamena furrowed her brow. “Have you tried?”

“No.” I stated. “Though I’m a little hesitant to try.”

“They’re ignoring us.” Tia sighed.

“Let them take their time. They can socialize when they choose to.” Blueblood said with a light chuckle.

“I’d say you should, but I don’t want you getting sick if you only subsist on life essence.” Pinkamena’s small smile returned.

“Wouldn’t hurt to try.” I shrugged once again. Taking my rather fancy looking fork. I speared a few pieces of lettuce. I’ve never really enjoyed salad that much anyway, but I thought that I should try it anyway. The moment the “food” touched my tongue I instantly regretted trying to eat. The lettuce tasted like ash. What I ended up spitting out was much the same. “Bleh! Pbth!”

“It looks like your mouth acts the same as your hands. Which means that you could drain someone by biting them.” Tia said, sounding thoughtful.

“And now I’m a vampire.” I sighed, letting my head fall into my hand.

“Hey. It’s not so bad.” I felt Pinkamena put her arm over my shoulders. “You’re a better vampire than the ones in those terrible Dusk books. Also you’re going to save a ton of bits on food costs.”

I chuckled and leaned over to give her a little nudge. “You know just what to say.”

“Awwwwww....” Cadence cooed.

I used the edge of my fork to scrape the dusty remains from my tongue. “Bleh. Would anyone else like the rest of my salad?” I set the fork back down on the table with a dull clinking sound.

“I’ll take it.” Blueblood spoke up before the others could. The plate was engulfed in a bright blue aura and the plate disappeared from my vision.

“Tha-” I made the mistake of looking at Blueblood when I responded.

I expected the stallion the be somewhat thin, him being a caster, or at least being from a primarily caster race. I was wrong. Blueblood was ripped. The kind of ripped that made me think he stepped out of a ponified version of Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure. He honestly looked like he was carved out of marble. He was a alabaster Pillar Man. How many abs did he have? Twelve? You could carve meat on that....

“I think I broke him.” Blueblood said with a light blush.

“He’s mine!” Pinkamena snapped. “Also, he doesn’t swing that way... I think...”

I couldn’t brain.

“God damn....” I breathed, suddenly feeling very inadequate. “Were.... Were you born looking like that?”

“Yes I came out of my mother’s womb the shining god you see here.” Blueblood said raising his arms to either side and making his voice sound almost haughty. Before a grin split his face, his arms dropped, and he chuckled. “No.” He shook his head. “It took years to get like this. Actually most of this came from the adventures of my youth. I used to be an explorer before settling down to help my aunts during their courts and townhalls. Exploring is actually how I got my Cutie Mark.”

“Ummmm... Side tangent.” Pinkamena spoke up. “Now I don’t want to sound too crass, and I know they’re your aunts, but how are you not hard as a rock right now? You are in a room with four beautiful mares.”

“And me.” I quipped.

To my surprise, Blueblood actually laughed. “Partially self control. Also... I’m not interested in mares. Actually, were you not taken Jared, I’d be interested in courting you.”

“Really?” I blinked stupidly. “Look at me.” I gestured to all of me.

“There’s more than appearance in attraction Jared.” Said with a small smirk. “Auntie Tia told me quite a bit about you. I find you intriguing.”

I felt slightly uncomfortable under his gaze.

I felt Pinkamena’s arms draped over my shoulders, and I felt her chest press into my back as she rested her chin on my shoulder. “Well he’s mine.” Pinkamena said with a hint of a growl. I felt chills run through my body, and shivered a little.

Oh damn....

“Alright, calm down you two.” Tia said with a chuckle, drawing my attention. That was another mistake. Because I got a full view of both celestia and luna in nothing but bras and panties. Tia was wearing a lacy black bra that looked like i came right out of Victoria’s Secret. Luna was wearing much the same, only her bra was white. I quickly snapped my head away, returning my gaze to Blueblood. Bad decision. I tried to make a noise of protest, but my throat had decided to close up. My face was burning something fierce. So my gaze fell on the only person I hadn’t looked at yet. Cadence. Cadence had gone along with their plan, however she had one key difference. She had gone topless.

Cadence swiftly noticed my gaze, yelped “Sorry!” Then covered herself with her arms. She was a tad late however. I had already gotten quite a view. I snapped my eyes shut and decided just to drape myself over the table. Luna and Blueblood were giggling at me.

“It’s not that funny.” Tia sighed, sounding much like the disappointed mother.

Various images were burned into my retinas.

Fuck my life.

Then I heard the door open.

I raised my head to see who came in.

It was Twilight.

“Princess I brou-” She froze both mid-step and mid sentence. Her eyes quickly snapping between all of us before landing on Tia. Her face went from violent to crimson as her eyes widened. Then the poor mare’s eyes rolled up into her head and she collapsed like a sack of potatoes.

“Twily!” Cadence cried, immediately getting up. Which showed off the fact that she happened to also go commando.

I’m done.

My head hit the table with a groan.

“Yeah, I think that’s enough.” I heard Pinkamena say flatly. “Hey, you wanna get up and return to our room?”

Our room.

There was something about that I liked.

“Yes please.” I responded.

I slowly stood, Pinkamena getting up to support me. “Thank you for the meal.” I said weakly, as Pinkamena helped me back to our room.

Author's Note

Because I forgot in the last chapter. Here’s a reference for Blueblood. It’s not perfect, but it get’s the point across.

Art by singingseashelle

This chapter felt kinda like an writing an anime or manga. I happened to enjoy it.