Author's Note

Well this was certainly a long one. Wanted to split this chapter up in two parts but ultimately decided against it.

Hope you guys like it.

Chapter 6: Finally Some Cheese...and A New Sister Maybe?

Chapter 6: Finally some cheese… and a new sister, maybe?

Edit and Proofread by: dash446, pahnazd, and Fistfire

“Alright, we are ready to depart. Take us back to the estate.” Brass called out from his carriage window after we got seated.

There was no audible reply as the carriage just started to move afterwards. Here is a funny brain twister for you; apparently, ponies pull ponies in this world. Well, not really that strange to be honest, considering the fact that in certain places in Asia humans are pulling other humans as well, as a form of public transport. But still, the concept of these colorful horses pulling other horses through the streets is still a bit of a brow raiser given the fact that their species is used as beasts of burden back in my world.

I wonder… do they use work animals here, or do they have just themselves?

Either way, I was sitting on the left side of the carriage, directly opposite from Brass, and right next to Camellia who was sitting in the middle.

Thankfully, the carriage windows were low enough for me to peek over if I cranked my neck high enough from my torso, and even completely over them if I stand up and lean my head against it.

Why thankfully? Well, that’s because I have this “wanna sit next to the window” sentimentality ever since I was a kid… The first time.

“Well, this isn’t going to get confusing in the near future at all… which is brilliant… no, really.”

I also took my stuff with me. What, did you really think that I was going to leave both my mug and tab behind for a chance of lots and lots of round things? Well if you ever thought that then you were practically right… Maybe.

I mean, I could have maybe left my tablet with Mystic Tune if we all were in a serious hurry but my mug goes where I go. That derp face and slogan below it is just too rare to ever come across again… especially now. Plus it IS my personal coffee mug, and I had some really good and relaxing moments with that ceramic piece of art.

Cappuccino never tasted better in my entire life as the moment I first drank from it. It’s all about the memes. The moment I saw the image and slogan on it I knew it was perfect for me.

It was literally speaking to me. “Buy me, and the derp will always be with you. Always.” How could you say no to that?

Anyway, it’s now a road trip to my new, oversized home in which I will be certainly getting lost for a very long time.

I would normally take this time to stick my earbuds into my… well, ears, and listen to some tunes while the world in front of me passed by. Except I can’t because my new “mom” was so clever in placing them both in a compartment just above the rear seats where I can’t reach them.

I could have protested but before I knew it, it was already too late. Ehh… whatever, I guess I can just imagine the songs in my head and stare out the window. That’s what I would have done if miss flower name or some kind of harmony didn’t poke me in my furry side.

“Please, sit down, Alex. It's safer and I don’t want you to hurt yourself before you can even see your new home.” She pleaded.

I just rolled my eyes. “Why, am I going to fall off my seat and hit my head on the carriage floor? Please, I suffered way more physical abuse than this, like the time where my cousin and I went into that Vietnamese massage shop and….” A bump in the road halted my thoughts as I got launched from my seat and slammed head first onto carriage floor.

Who knew that you could test fate via your thoughts as well? Also, fuck the one responsible for road maintenance in this city. He obviously does a really shitty job and his neglect is a danger to all children, myself now included.

Also, that hurt. Like, a lot. I guess Camy had some leverage on her statement.

I could hear both of them gasp after I hit the floor. I didn’t even have time to moan in pain with added drama when I suddenly found myself losing my sense of gravity and ground contact. Most likely her using her glow stick on me to lift me back up.

“Oh dear heavens, are you okay? See? I told you to sit down so something like this wouldn’t happen.” She half panicked and half chided as she sat me on her lap and began to inspect my head.

At this point I was too busy trying to get my perception back under control after that sudden telekinesis she pulled on me. Not to mention the raging headache I have in the forefront of my head.

Fine, I will stay seated now.

Apparently, and thankfully, there wasn’t anything wrong with it, at least visually, as she eventually sat me back down next to her, but not without giving me more reasons to not do this again by lecturing me further.

“See, this is precisely why I want you to stay seated. The roads can be bumpy sometimes, even here in the capital. You’re lucky that you didn’t hit yourself too hard.” She continued.

“Yes, yes, I know. Sit down and don’t frown, I get it. Jeez, not even a whole first day and she already reminds me of my real mother. Brilliant.” I thought while rubbing the sore spot.

Thankfully, the rest of the trip was pretty uneventful. We passed by a lot of streets and ponies before eventually reaching an area of the city which I guess can be considered the place where most of the city's budget resides.

No wonder those bumps exist in the first place.

The street we are travelling up to is, according to the sign I read earlier, named Greenwood Boulevard, quite fitting given that this street is filled with over-decorated mansions and gardens the size of most of the homes and businesses we passed earlier.

So much for a waste of space. I mean, I am all in for a nice spacious garden, but why would you need that much greenery around your home if you just spend most of your day jerking off at the size of your own wallet or drowning yourself in all kinds of exotic food more expensive than your average house?

The only one who would even bother in the first place is the gardener. The owners would either be too lazy to leave their oversized homes or be outside of said oversized homes to make everyone not able to afford an oversized home feel bad about themselves.

Basically 98% of the population. Which is difficult because how is anyone from those 98% going to scout out enough money for such a specific item when those measly 2% are hoarding in all of the available money in this sugar invested country?

Capitalism at its finest, even here.

I know so because I have seen and experienced it myself. How can someone with that much moolah be so stingy? Even towards a fucking child?

I take it back, I take everything I ever threw at dear old Mc Scrooge. At least that duck has a heart… and balls, like, really big balls. Better borrow some of his balls for the foreseeable future if my predictions on how life as a renaissance-type noble are accurate.

Money does tend to speak louder than words… and basic morals too. If I have learned anything from all those action movies and horror wannabes, it’s that you should always expect the absolute worst in any situation. That way you won’t be surprised or disappointed when it does happen.

Anyway, it really didn’t take too long after crossing into lazy town from simple town to finally reach the very estate that I am going to be calling my home for the foreseeable future, and I have to say my new parents seem to be just as guilty in hoarding most of the national treasury as everyone else that lives on this street. Only difference was that the front didn’t feature any British style garden, Romanesque greenery or something Hellenic, but I am sure that there is at least one around the large bungalow if am given the freedom to explore it later.

Either way, the gate itself was nothing special. Just your typical iron gate you easily associated with every other mansion or estate you see in many different depictions. The only thing that was… kind of different was that the gate is actually a part of the main building itself. A perfect reason why my new home doesn’t feature a front yard like all the others. I bet the whole thing circles around some kind of courtyard, which was quickly proven when the carriage stopped right in front the main gate. I could only barely peek through the bars from my position, much to my new mom’s dismay of not staying seated.

Woman, let me explore, okay? I AM a kid again after all, and kids are naturally very curious… even if I have never lost that aspect.

I meant the kid part by the way.

“Open the gates! Sir Brass of the Silver Watch and Lady Camellia Harmonica have returned.” I heard someone shout from outside, most likely one of the pones doing the pulley.

I could barely see another pony trotting up from behind the closed bars before stopping just in front of it. He seemed rather well dressed, to be honest. Is he maybe the butler?

“Sir Brass, what exactly brings you to this fine establishment? Do you and your mistress possess an invitation?” The stallion asked in a much defined UK accent.

“Yup, certainly the butler… I think.”

My new dad poked his head out from the carriage window with a smile. “You know exactly why we are here, old friend. Don’t tell me that you have already forgotten that we live here?” Brass responded in amusement, which I guess was reflected by the stallion if his own expression was to be believed.

“Of course I haven’t, sir, just wanted to make sure that no nasty doppelganger would come by and impersonate you and Miss Camellia. Like in those novels you seem to like reading recently.” He called back with a gentle smile on his brown muzzle.

Brass just chuckled at that. “Well, just tell the guards to open the gate now. Both me and Camellia had a long day behind us and we wish to just relax for the rest of it.” He called out with a small sigh at the end.

The butler nodded before talking to an off-screen individual past the gate. There was a silent clank and rustle to be heard before the gate finally opened. The carriage immediately began to move again, giving us access into the interior of the property as the gates behind us could be heard closing.

“Well, here we are, home sweet home I guess.” And what a home. Just image the entire thing had a kind of a rectangular layout with the middle being dominated by a rather large courtyard, with nicely trimmed bushes and other greenery on its side and a large water fountain in the center.

The fountain itself was rather interesting though as it depicted a pony version of lady luck pouring water down into a basin, which then splits it into five different streams running down the rocks before finally landing on the large pool surrounding it. A pool large enough to bathe in during hot summers.

I mean, I am sure that such actions aren’t allowed in such a piece of art made from marble, but that won’t stop me from actually trying… many times. Because indoor pools suck. Not sure if this place even has one but at the same time I don’t care for a very good reason.

Everybody can smell it when you’re letting something loose while being in the pool.

It’s all about secrecy after all. Plus, most people are too lazy to climb out of the water just so they can answers nature's call before going back in anyway.

That’s what chlorine was invented for.

Actually, I think it helps with the smell as well… haven’t been in any public bath for a very long time. Specifically for that reason.

“Well, here we are. Finally. I desperately need some tea.” Mister Brass sighed as the unsuspended carriage finally halted in front of the main entrance.
Why unsuspended? Because this ride was the rattiest ride I ever rode in. Either blame the roads or the wooden box on skinny wheels itself. If I get old enough… again, or finally get a hang in voicing out my un-understandable philosophies to my inmates then I shall introduce the concept of wheel suspension towards these wooden washing machines.

Because I am a spoiled man, who got spoiled by the wonders of modern automobiles. Perhaps even inventing the concept of… FOUR horse power carriages instead of just two. It will be like… this world equivalent of a Porsche. My own ‘oversized home to make people feel bad about not having it as well’, here I come… maybe, if I am not too lazy or just forget about it.

Brass was, of course, the first to disembark, followed by Camellia and then me, with me being levitated onto her back.

I tapped her on the head and let her silently know that my stuff, the only two items I have from my old world, were still in that stupid unreachable compartment inside the carriage.

She just smiled before telling that a maid can get them and bring them over to my new room after it has been prepared.

I do have to say, from all the ponies I have met so far, both Brass and Camellia have been the most morally focused and levelheaded individuals so far. AND they are freaking nobles. The bane of many nations and the cause of many assassinations and revolutions. Not to mention being complete asses to everyone else who isn’t like them.

Wealth does turn you depraved, especially when you had it all since birth, which I believe most of them did. Geboren mit dem goldenen Löffel und so weiter. Something that can NEVER happen to me… because I am already depraved enough as is. My cousins don’t call me a couch potato for nothing.

No, that doesn’t mean that I was fat and all. I was actually pretty normal physically. No major fatness besides a tiny belly. No health problems or eating disorders either.

Some might say that I am BS-ing them, but really, medical wonders and oddity do exist so… yay for me. I can be lazy and not reek from the negativity of it… besides getting too comfortable with it.

But hey, that didn’t stop me from freeloading off of my cousins and drinking all of their coffee.

I am mentally rambling again, aren’t I? Ah yes, familiar territory, how much I love you. My mind is sometimes just so much more interesting to explore than the outside world.

I think things are finally returning to normal for me. Speaking of normal…

“Actually… where are we?” I clearly lost track of what happened. While I was having my internal monologues to some imaginary audience, Brass, Camellia and me on her back must have moved past the double door entrance and into the greeting hall, which, by the way, was just as disgustingly expensive smelling as everything else. Why wouldn’t it be?

“Well, this is it, Alex. Your new home. Quite an upgrade from your previous life, don’t you think?” Camellia announced, which just made me look around a bit with mild interest.

Why mild? Well, what the hell am I going to be doing with all of this anyway? It’s not mine, plus some of these might be worth more than my very life.

“Upgrade? More like opening up a console window and typing in all of the instant level ups, skill level ups and spawn all best items you can think of in an instant.” I thought to myself, a certain ponified “The Scream” taking my immediate attention.

Looks good, but seriously did I land in some alternative mirror universe instead of a brand new one? The cheesiness levels are so high they are seriously making me hungry ever since it started. Where is my Gouda? The cheese the orphanage had SUCKED. I need real French, Swiss or Nederland goodness, not that cheap copycat American garbage.

At this point the whole amazement of this place’s baroque style interior (only in white) was really going over my radar in favor of finally getting myself something to eat. Because apparently I left the orphanage before I even had the chance to get some dinner, so that obviously sucks. This might also be my chance to finally get some good cheese in this new land, which I am sure or at least hopeful they have in stock here.

I mean, if they have the terrible American crap here then they most likely have something similar to the aforementioned European specialties as well.

Hmmmm… Gouda, Emmental *doing the Homer Simpson impression*.

“Uh… are you… are you okay, Alex?” Camy suddenly asked which snapped me out of my daydreaming trance.

Everybody was apparently staring at me, including the maid carrying my stuff on a plate on her back.

Was I publicly drooling again?

I shook my head before my stomach suddenly decided to do the talking for me.

“Well… that is one way to announce it. Another beautiful example that this world seems to function with cartoon physics from time to time. Which I honestly love and will exploit to the ALMOST best of my abilities, if I remember to do so that is.” I thought to myself while Camellia just giggled.

“Well, it is almost past dinner time anyway. Good thing your tummy reminded us of it otherwise it would have been us receiving the embarassing situation later on.” She teased while playfully poking my belly.

I just shoved her hoof away. I honestly have no idea why she was talking about being embarrassed. My body did a perfect job in announcing my needs without even having to bother with words. Which I still can’t understand, mind you.

“Olivia, could you please go and tell the cook to start preparing dinner after bringing Alex’s items to his room?” Camellia asked, turning to said maid.

The now known Olivia nodded. “Yes, of course, Miss Camellia, no problem.” She responded before trotting off to do just that.

“Olivia, quite fitting for her olive green coat.”

I was obviously still a bit antsy about letting her off alone with my stuff, but I guess I can trust her with them for now given that she is employed under my new equine parents.

RICH equine parents. Let’s not forget about that.

“Well, if you excuse me Camellia, I will also head to the kitchen myself if you need me for something. Gotta get myself some well needed tea after this rather exhausting day.” Brass announced next to her.

Camellia just nodded. “Of course, honey. Could you go tell Octavia afterwards that dinner will be ready soon? She is most likely in her room at this hour.” She requested which in turn made Brass nod before trotting off in the same direction where the maid went; the left wing, to be precise.

With nothing else to do, Camellia and I left the greeting hall to the opposite direction. Why? I have absolutely no idea, but I am sure that she is going to inform me. Right about...

“I think a little bath would be a nice way to fully make you a part of our family here, Alex. Plus you do have a bit of a smell sticking on your coat and I would love for you to look clean and serene when eventually meeting with your new sister… or just a friend depending on how you view her, but I am sure the you two will get along well. She even is the same age as you.” She answered, which was certainly more than I wanted to know.

Then again, knowledge is power, after all.

That still left one question unanswered though.

“What the heck was the point in adopting me when these two already have humped a daughter into existence? If they wanted another then just go get drunk in a local pub.” I thought while staring at the back of the mare’s head.

I would love to ask but I obviously can’t, plus I don’t want to risk my new rich child perk so quickly for something that could easily be just a move of laziness on their part. I mean, making babies is a lot of work after all, especially for the lady.

Plus I am absolutely positive that the answer will fall onto my lap regardless. Just make sure to keep raiding their kitchens and check my bed and closets for boogeymen.

Don’t ask me how, but I do smell something shitty here, like literally. I think we just passing an occupied toilet right next to another door we stopped at.

“I told Hector to not have those expired beans for breakfast this morning.” Camellia sighed before opening the door revealing… more expensive shit in overflow. The bathtub alone was already as big as your average home bathroom.

“Now let’s just get you clean up a bit, shall we? I promise that this is going to be fun. Octavia herself just loves playing during baths.” She explained as she gently sat me down on the pony equivalent of a toilet. Which, by the way, is similar to a human toilet, only much lower to the floor.

I just sat on of the toilet lid patiently and watched her fumble around with the bathtub faucets with her glow stick. Soon both hot and cold water began to pour, filling the tub slowly with warm water and even creating a bit of steam in the process.

I do have to say, despite the large dimension if this golden goose shittery, it had still a distinctly cozy feeling to it, even more so now that the entire space was being covered in a soft layer of warm vapor.

The other reason why might be because of the subtle lightning and the overabundance of fluffy rugs covering most of the flooring.

And this is just perhaps the guest bathroom.

“Alright, done.” Camellia announced which stopped my thoughts.

I perked up and saw that the jacuzzi-sized bath was full. Well, full for my size.

“Alright, it's bath time.” She announced again with a smile.

To be honest, I have nothing against the idea of someone giving me a bath. At least it's way better than having someone try and cut your hair with a pair of magically suspended scissors.

I jumped off the lid and made my way over to the jacuzzi-sized tub and jumped right in. It’s rather practical that the bath was neatly low towards the floor, otherwise literally jumping in would have been impossible for my size.

There was an audible splash and a bit of a yelp. I do have to say that this felt really, really nice. I mean, the orphanage had baths too but never with that much space or bubbles.

No idea when she added those into the water, but then again I was momentarily distracted.

I heard Camellia sigh as I saw a towel being levitated towards her. A sign of success for my handy work.

“Well, besides getting me wet while still stressed, let’s just focus on getting you clean quickly before dinner. Both Brass and Octy aren’t the most patient individuals when it comes to food, let me tell you.” She explained before levitating over a sponge and big bar of soap. The only two normal items so far. Good job you two.

“Alright, just hold still and relax. I will be doing most of the work for you. This won’t take long.” She said before the scrubbing commenced.

I only have one rule with this.

“You can clean everything else but my crotch. I shall do that myself, thank you very much.”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“Cheese, cheese, CHEESE! OH GLORIOUS HEAVEN ABOVE LOOK AT ALL THIS CHEESE!” My mind screamed as my eyes sparkled at the second most beautiful sight I have ever seen.

Why only second? Well, the first one involves high school and a little accident where I misjudged the male changing room for the female one. Who knew that jugs can get that big at the age of 15? Some real Japanese hentai shit that was.

Anyway, enough thinking because it’s time for eating.

“Ah, ah, ah, Alex! I know you’re hungry, but in this household you got to learn that dinner only officially starts when every member of family and staff are present. So please, be a little bit more patent while both Olivia and Octavia make their way here.” Camellia lightly chided, right before I was about to literally jump onto the table and dive into the golden horde in front of me.

Well, I guess it was also a good thing that she used her voodoo to keep me seated because her chiding would certainly have been much worse. But still, damn you, woman, stop being such a cock block and let me get some damn cheese! Finally getting a chance of choking myself into delusions with some good ass gold and here you are preventing me from doing that. Right here. Right in front all of this CHEESE. Right here in front of me.

“I want some darn cheese, dammit.” I thought while crossing my forelegs and pouting.

The reason why we haven’t, or more precisely, why I can’t jump in and get some of that golden tease is because of both their daughter and maid were still missing in action.

Everybody else is already here. Brass, Camellia, some random cook and Hector which turned out to be the butler’s name which, by the way, is the most badass name so far.

Freaking Hector, all that is missing is for another stud to be named Achilles and this world would have automatically redeemed itself for me. Don’t care if this place still reminds me a lot of Care Bears or not.

Let’s turn everything into the Iliad, shall we? Just hope that they won’t change Troy into something stupid like Trot. Then I would be mad.

Mad as in mental, not emotional. Or maybe both. Which is worse. For everyone.

Either way, I am just trying to preoccupy myself with other thoughts while waiting for the final two stars of this concert to finally step up from behind the curtains. Not to mention that I could smell the hard stench of cheese from here which was just making this whole ordeal that much worse.

“What the fuck is them taking so long? Are they masturbating or something?” I wondered, feeling more and more annoyed about this by the second.

The smell was literally taunting me at this point. My fantasies even conjuring an image of a hazy middle finger and an impish laugh.

Yes, I know that this particular line of thinking is seriously uncalled for given that one of them is just like me in terms of physical age and size. But this is MY mind and as long as I don’t say it out loud it should be good, plus I just want to get some freaking cheese in me damn it. At some point even Camellia’s abilities of the force won’t stop me from devouring my enemies. I can already feel my pain and passion fueling the dark side inside of me in the form. Where is my lightsaber?

It was at that point where two figures suddenly poked out from around the corner of my vision. Camellia next to me smiled as a small filly with the most depressing color scheme entered the dining room.

Thoughm personally, that was not the main focus.

“Fucking finally. Can I have my cheese now?” Was my only mental response as she sat down silently right next to her father and completely opposite from me. Not that I could see her well of course, thanks to the giant eye sore in between us.

The lonely mountain of Erebor, only without the mountain.

“Well hello there, sweetie. How was your day?” Camellia asked with a smile, which went over the filly’s mind, much to Camellia’s dismay.

Emo much? And still just 5. Just imagine how she would be when she is hitting her puberty.

This forced her father to poke her side in order to get the little filly’s attention, which thankfully did the trick.

She raised her head. “Oh… uhm, it was fun, I guess… I just spend most of my time with mister Hubsie playing in my room with all of his other friends.” She answered in her innocent but still very British sounding voice.

That alone makes me like her in an instant, despite her making me wait so gosh darn long. Plus it makes her look that much more adorable as well, despite her missing horn.

“Wait… she has no horn?”

Camellia smiled. “Well, it is at least nice to know that you were having fun, sweetie. But for now, let’s just eat.” She finally announced the exact sentence I was waiting for this entire time.

I sighed loudly. “Fucking finally. I would have gone MAD if this took any longer. Finally… give me all the Gouda and Emmental this place has in store so that I can…”

“Oh, and sweetie, say hello to somepony new.” Camellia announced before poking me in the side and interrupting my mojo.

“AWW COME ON.”

“You as well, Alex, how about saying hello to your new sister?” She said with a smile, which in turn just made me frown. Inwardly, of course, don’t want to risk the risk of risking my chance of finally getting something that isn’t grass and flower related.

Seriously, I forgot to mention the fact that I was living off a lot of hay and daisies ever since I got here. I mean… they weren’t bad and all, but still kind of thought provoking when you consider that previously, eating shit like this would have easily made me sick and gave me a one way ticket to the toilet…

“Oh shit, I just remembered I forgot to turn the faucet off back at home. Geez, that incoming water bill. I guess a good reason why I am here and not over there. Sucks to be my cousins at this point. One of them even got recently fired as far as I can remember before coming here.”

I shook my head before looking up at the gray and black haired filly opposite of me. Not really surprising at all that she was staring back at me. Curiosity clear on her features. Though what I found kind of insulting in the end was that she soon looked away and started grabbing for some food that I couldn’t see because of the large wheel of cheese in front of me.

I pouted. “Lady, I know that most ladies just bothered to give me a passing glance in my previous life but at this situation it is just downright rude.”

I just huffed before just doing the same thing as she and reached for the cheese… only to realize that it is uncut and that I don’t have a knife or hands to grab it.

My eyes went wide in horror. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! FROM ANNOYING TO RUDE, TO DOWNRIGHT NIGHTMARISH!”

SO NAH UND DOCH NOCH SO WEIT ENTFERNT.

“Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” I shouted out in utter frustration, which caused everybody to almost to fall of their seats.

I was not a happy camper at this point. Fuck all of their money and just give me some cheese. It’s the only gold I ever wanted.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“Well, this is it. Your room, Alex. Quite exciting, don’t you think?” Camellia happily presented, which went over my head as some small traces of my previous euphoria were still running through my system.

The euphoria of having finally eaten some damn good cheese after all this time, and I have to say… THAT WAS SOME OF THE BEST CHEESE I HAVE EVER EATEN IN MY LIFE. Who knew that rich people can afford more than just overpriced wine and golden cocaine? You know what, forget everything I said earlier about nobles, if they can get their hands on such good dairy products then I guess it’s money well spent in the end.

Plus, you would be supporting those cheese makers to make even more of their really good gold. Absolutely brilliant I would say, not to mention the jaw drops I produced when I almost managed to finish off an entire wheel all by myself.

Well… I would have loved to devour the entire thing but mister Brass gas had to ruin my plans of a world record by yanking the almost finished wheel away from me, saying things like “eating that much in one go for a foal is NOT healthy” kind of bullshit.

The outcry in both protest and despair were real at that moment. I could have sworn that someone was laughing at my pathetic display of a tantrum, but honestly, I had completely different problems back then to really give a care about that. That, and my sudden urge to go somewhere quickly as the cheese apparently was really rushing through my foal like system.

At least I kept my good feels from that trip to the rainbows, so in the end all was still well in my books… almost.

A tap on my big head forced me back to the outside world. “Uh, Alex, are you paying attention, or are you still in need to head back to the bathroom? Told you already halfway that you should stop eating so much, but you kept going regardless.” She half asked and half chided, which again went over my head a bit as I looked into the room in front of me. MY room.

I was both impressed, intrigued and somewhat scared at the same time.

“THIS is my room?” I thought while darting my eyes around. “This bloody room is twice the size of my living room. Granted, my living room wasn’t that spacious compared to others, but still. THIS BIG SPACE is my ROOM?” I finished my thought as I took my first steps into this new waste of space for a foal.

Like, really, isn’t this a little bit too big for a kid my age and belt size? I mean, think about the boogeymen and all that wonderful space of shadows he can hide in. Not to mention under my new bed too, which again was certainly a tad bigger than I wanted it to be.

Just image all the ebony and ivory you can hide under there.

Huh… that’s what she sa-not really the time for that joke. I have an oversized room problem to deal with. That, and potentially having to go grab a knife from the kitchen in order to defend myself for that pedophile son of a bitch. Not that I have met him at any point of my previous life but that still doesn’t mean I shall let my guard down just because of it.

Especially now, in a world that might even stair him, voodoo hoodoo, mythological creatures and that shit. Either way, having to sleep in a much more open space than I normally would feel comfortable with would certainly be something I need to get used to. That, or just pull over the bed curtains that I just noticed.

That way I can make my space a lot smaller during the night and become less paranoid.

I heard Camellia sigh from behind me as I stepped further into the room to explore all of its new wonders.

“This might be something we have to fix at a later date; you not paying attention.” I heard her mutter while moving towards the first cupboard my eyes lay on.

“Where the heck did that maid dump my stuff at.”

“Oh and by the way, if you are listening, Olivia, as she was told, placed both your cup and… the white flat thing on top of your bed. Just saying.” She informed, something I did finally pay attention to because of one little detail she just missed.

“It’s a MUG, not a cup, miss flowers. Also, thanks for the info.” I thought, my next target being the bed for obvious reasons, only to find out that the bed was a little bit too high for me to comfortably climb up on.

I thought that this room was prepared for ME and not Chewbacca.

Camellia seemed to notice my confusion. She lightly chuckled, which by the way felt a bit insulting on my part. Fine, I let her have that one, for ignoring her causing such a tantrum earlier.

“You, know it would be easier for you to get up on bed via the steps on the other side.” She informed and trotted up to the bed as well, opposite from where I was standing.

I just followed her, and truth be told they were indeed steps leading up to the bed just as she said. Neat, but also why? Why not give me a bed for MY size?

Whatever, I am sure there is a logical reason for it, like maybe they don’t have any other beds in stock for my size, simply because they weren’t expecting to adopt a child or whatever. With that thought out of the way, I immediately got up onto my bed and testing how bouncy it really is for me to bounce on when nobody's looking.

I have a perfect excuse to be childish now after all.

“So, what do you think? A better bed than you had back in the orphanage?” Camy asked as I started to feel the fabric and texture of it, and I have to admit, not a bad bed in terms in softness but sadly no real bounciness on it, most likely because of its mattress being a full cotton one instead of those old school ones with springs in them. Which is fine I guess, simply because of my bed back on earth being almost similar to this one in comparison.

Also, my stuff was indeed on my bed, right under the pillow in fact, which I would love to point out is even fucking larger than me somehow.

That’s what she said.

“Uhm… Miss Camellia? My I… have a moment?” The voice of Olivia suddenly perked up as I was busy expecting Mount Pillow of the Pillowlayans.

I wish I had a flag now to claim it.

Camellia turned her head. “Of course, what seems to be the issue?” She responded and turned towards her.

I was listening, but still had most of my focus fixed on taming this mount of a pillow and plowing my imaginary flag on it for the glory of my new Snitch Empire. The Republic of Java will envy us on this day.

Olivia rubbed the back of her head.” Well… I could tell you. But you have to see it to believe it, in my opinion. So if you could allow me some of your time, that would be very appreciated, Miss Camellia.” She awkwardly stated.

Camy obviously seemed confused at first but eventually nodded to the maid’s request before turning back to me, witnessing my glorious achievement.

“I won’t be gone for long, Alex. Just go ahead and explore your new room some more. I will be right back.” She told me before her and the olive mare went together wherever it was that they were going together.

Which was good, because this gave me the chance to finally relax and be alone to reflect on everything that happened so far and my new position.

I slid down onto my bed, laid my head on my newly-claimed territory and sighed, my head almost getting devoured by the oversized nature and fluffiness of the pillow.

For once, not much was happening inside my head at this point. Just using this moment to stare up at the blue ceiling above, as I was slowly and surely getting tired.

My eyes closed, or rather, that’s what I would have done if a set of hoofsteps coming from my unclosed door didn’t rouse me from my relaxation.

I pushed the lump of pillow away, no longer obstructing my view to the left where the door was, only to be somewhat surprised to see a certain individual peeking her head from around the door.

It’s the filly with the depressing color scheme from earlier. Well, almost depressing, her eyes at least where a rich purple which is quite the contrast to all of that gray and black she sports all around her.

My eyes met hers. We just stared at one another across the room, me in intrigue and her more in a sense of childish curiosity and even a small level of… suspicion and… envy?

Really, envy? Only a day old and we might already have a rivalry going on.

“So, are you really my new… brother just like mommy and daddy told me?” She suddenly ask and also breaking the ice.

I would have broken it myself but… well… duh.

I sat upright, giving her question a bit of thought before just mentally shrugging and nodding. Octavia in response tilted her head as she continued to just stand there.

“Why do you just keep nodding or gesturing? Can’t you talk?” She asked further which again I answered with a nod and a self-pointing hoof at my throat.

She just seemed more confused after my response. I sighed before just deciding for the more complicated route of just drawing it out for her.

It’s a good thing my tablet registers hoof touch as well, otherwise trying to draw and basically do anything with a stylus would just be impossible with this second pair of feet; I can’t even get the stylus out of its housing to begin with.

So, the hoof it is, pressing down the power button on the top left corner and pressing at the icon to start the app I used for drawing. This though, unsurprisingly, took the little filly’s immediate attention as I saw her move just a little bit closer to have a better look.

After a view moments of trying to get a decent visual representation done of my current problem I flipped the tab towards her, showing her the somewhat crude drawing about me being sick, with thermostat, ice bag and obviously a green expression.

Not truly accurate on what my actual problem is, but still, somewhat relatable giving the sore feeling I get whenever trying to actively speak or say something that isn’t just noise.

That though seemed to go completely over the little filly’s head as she seemed to be more fixated on the tablet in my hoof.

Not surprising, to be honest. Mystic Tune head the same reaction when I tried to communicate with him via images as well.

“Ooh what is that thing you are holding? It glows, is it something magical?” She questioned, before moving up even closer. Whatever suspicions and/or envy she expressed earlier was completely gone now and replaced with the childish wonder and curiosity most kids have at her age.

Which is good, I guess. Honestly, I am in no interest in being in some kind of attention contest with the REAL child of my new caretakers.

I say REAL because I can’t get the critical detail out of my head that she doesn’t seem to have a horn, despite being the child of two horny ones.

Is it maybe some kind of a biology that I am missing here? Because logic would dictate that two of the same species should give birth to a species similar to theirs. Again, either I spent too much time doodling during biology classes, or her parents lied about her being their actual child and maybe her origin is just like mine.

You know what, it’s not important to be honest, plus being overly logical isn’t really my thing either. I love the insane, stupid and the ridiculous. Which is why I love movies like the “Scary movies” “Epic movie” or the “Superhero movie”. Stupid and overly ridiculous. It’s brilliant.

I am getting distracted again.

I just scratched my head as best as a hoof could before deciding to just jump down and give her the whole thing. She can find out herself what it is. Thankfully I have no… questionable things stored inside of it which obviously makes it safe for child use.

I had all of them stored in my laptop anyway. Too bad that it couldn’t come with me as well, but I guess weight limit rules via TransAfterlife Airlines are much bitchier compared to the more traditional airline companies.

She obviously looked at it curiously at first after I laid it on the ground in front of her. I decided to make her exploration a little bit easier by exiting the Paint App and going back to the home screen.

Her eyes immediately lit up at all the colorful icons and wallpaper of a deer and a gazelle that I drew myself in one of my spare times. Which I always had.

She didn’t waste any time in mimicking my gesture from earlier and randomly clicked on an icon she liked the most. Funny enough, it was Plants vs Zombies, a game I had stored in it forever and completed since then. Just never bothered to uninstall it, just like most of other apps I have in it.

She immediately flinched back a bit when the zombies popped up.

“Ewww… what is that? It… it looks kind of icky.” She questioned, which just made me smile.

I just pulled up an endless game, the one on the backyard, and started to casually play the game in front of her. She, of course, was fascinated immediately, watching as I planted cartoony looking plants which then fought and fired on an equally cartoony looking wave after wave of zombies.

I even let her take the wheel at some point, testing to see if she was smart enough to mimic the exact controls I used in front of her, and to my enjoyment she did as she started collecting suns and placing down plants in places that I pointed out for her.

Overall, she was having fun and honestly so was I just watching her have it while giving out funny comments about what is happening on screen… until all of those giant zombies with the little midges started to spawn and the game from that on just turned in a full on war of attrition which we quickly lost.

She seemed sad that we lost, but honestly, it didn’t happen a moment too soon as I began to hear hoofsteps coming towards our direction. I quickly slid the tablet under the bed right before the image of Camellia came around. A look of both confusion, wonder and slight annoyance dotting her features.

“Alex, how… how did you manage to clog the toilet so badly? Furthermore, how can a small foal even DO that?” She asked, not really paying much attention of the fact that her daughter was right next to me.

I just smiled victoriously at those news. Feeling quite accomplished at the fact that I can just amaze and confuse people here the same way as I could over in my world.

Alexander Becker, you done it again. Normality is just overrated in my book.