Chapters Author's Note
This is my first story and its all OCs. If I made any grammar mistakes please point them out. I appreciate all criticism. The plots going to get pretty dark just so you know.
First Day of School
After entering my Chemistry classroom and greeting my teacher, I took my seat and waited for the bell to ring. I noticed him after being called up to solve a problem. Onyx Star caught my eye as soon as I saw him, a wink from his gray eyes, a wave of his hand, and he easily had my full attention. I simply smiled back and continue walking to the board. The teacher's problem was easy; science is my strong suit after all. After solving the problem, I walked back to my seat. But when I turned around, I saw that he was looking at me, there was a slight smile on his face.
It turns out that I have a total of three classes with him, Chemistry, English 12 and Homeroom. In English he sits directly behind me. I haven’t said much more than a few sentences to him yet, but he always seems to be looking at me. Should I say something to him, he's bothering me if all he does is stare.
During Ms. Cheerliee's class every student was told to describe themselves either at their desk or at the front of the class. A friend of mine was one of the first called; Ivory Feather described himself as an expert video gamer and a great guy to talk with. You could see visible dimples when he spoke and his fun loving personality seemed to interest students. Mine was much duller with most students focused on their phones. “I think i'm a pretty great artist, if you ever wanna hang out i'm cool for most things”. Ms. Cheerliee seemed like an easy going teacher; she allows students to talk and use their phones as long as their work is finished.
Onyx was the second from last student. "Hey, I'd say I'm a pretty casual guy who's down for pretty much anything. I love sports and doing tricks on my dirt bike."
After class Ivory and I head to the cafeteria, we’re pushed by the crowd of students in a rush to get their food. Because we hadn't rushed like the others it took several minutes to get our food; I chose two percent chocolate milk and a chicken sandwich. Ivory had skim milk with a Caesar salad, saying because he didn't work out he should at least eat healthy. We walked to our usual booth where three more students currently sat. Scarlet Hope and Thorny Rose sit close together with the later legs draped over the others. After eating another french fry Rose speaks “It's still early and I’ve already had to deal with two of the worst teachers in the school! What about you guys?”
Tomboy Sky Chaser is the first to reply “I have P.E. first period which rocks but after that I have level four French with snooty Ms. Silver Song.” Sky is always labeled as a troublemaker by teacher's because she roller skates to school everyday and has even been caught rollerskating in the halls; she's the most rowdy of our group but she is still a great student. While she likes to complain about her French class every year I think she's most annoyed at having to take lower level french even though she speaks it fluently.
Scarlet vividly describes his high level math class and what he has heard about the instructor's teaching methods. After ranting about his love of math and pushing his glasses up multiple times he let Rose talk. His glasses and personality grouped him as a nerd but he was somehow dating Rose. She was a slightly pompous theater and cello girl; she often did main roles for plays and played in competitions. She and Octavia would always challenge each other to music-offs. She had pretty blonde hair that was dyed red at the ends to match Scarlet's own fiery head of hair. Even after seeing how enamored they were with each other it was a shock to the school when miss popular had asked out one of the shyest guys in school.
After the lunch bell rang there was another swarm of students, however, this time their destination was their classrooms. The rest of my day went on uneventful with occasional run-ins with my friends in the halls and getting aggravated when I struggled opening my locker for the third time in a row. The final bell sounded and I went through the school in search of Ivory. I ran into him while he was talking with his own smaller group of friends. When he saw me he separated from the group and walked over to greet me. “Hey, we're still good to walk together right? Do you want me to carry your stuff; I know how lazy you can be.”
I scowled at him “I’m not that lazy.” He only had to give me a look till I surrendered “Fine, I am pretty lazy”
That was the end of my first day of senior year. I arrive home just after the sky has changed from an orange pink to a darkening indigo waving goodbye to Ivory as I unlocked my front door. As always I say, “I’m home,” but it’s only a formality. He never replies back. The only noises are the kitchen faucet dripping every few seconds and muffled scratching. I lay my jacket on one of the chairs and put my keys on the hook. When I reach my door, it reveals a small blue-eyed Scottish fold with a shrill mew.
Anna's soft fur brushes against my leg, then she turns after looking at me one more time and heads off towards the bed, continuously meowing at me. She sits on the lavender comforter staring and licking her paws while I fill her food and clean the litter pan. She eats loudly, getting food on her face and purring simultaneously. I’m tired, but I’m also hungry; I get some leftover pasta from the fridge, making sure the door is locked and walk past the other occupied room into mine.
I can just barely hear faint music coming from beside me. I roll onto my side and blindly feel around for my phone. When the cold metal makes contact with my fingers I swipe the screen effectively silencing the alarm. I quickly try to get comfortable in my bed but a soft paw followed by sharp claws my toes wake me up. “Ouch!” I stare around my room confused and groggy. I look down to see a shape underneath the covers chasing after my legs. “Thanks for waking me up Anna.” I raise my arms above my head bending them so that the touch my shoulder blades; after releasing the tension I sigh loudly. Light sneaks through the blinds illuminating the small room. I glanced at my phone “seven am huh” Anna hops off the bed and goes to lay in a large sunbeam. Her usual matte grey fur appears silvery in the light. Her pupils simply a straight line of black running vertically through the center of her striking blue eyes. I reach over to touch her, gently scratching under her chin as she purrs lightly.
After having my fingers licked raw, I finally leave the warmth of my bedroom. I stop at a hall closet to get a fluffy purple towel, then I head into the bathroom. It's tiny and decorated with cream subway tile, I turn on the shower and listen to the sound of water hitting the fiberglass tub and wait until the water reaches my preferred temperature. Every few seconds I hold my hand against the water once it's thoroughly hot I step into the shower and began washing my body. I take several pumps of shampoo for my wavy purple hair. Only a few minutes into to my shower the bathroom mirror is already covered covered in condensation.
After showering, I walk back to my room wrapped in the -now damp- towel leaving wet footprints behind me. I gently comb through my towel dried hair and open my dresser. My hand reach for a pair of dark blue jeans and a light sweater. After I was satisfied with my choice I picked up a large silver locket with the initial -L- on international into fancy text. Inside intense a photo of me when I was eleven and my family. Before closing the box I look at a matching locket with -S- on it. I give Anna a final goodbye before grabbing my coat, the trash, and an gold apple from the grey laminate counter top. I open the door and am greeted by a light crisp wind. Before I leave I say, “I’ll be back” to the -not so empty- apartment.
“Do you mind if we sit with you guys?” We all look up to see Onyx and some other boy standing at the end of our booth.
Rose looks him over then looks to see the others expression. “Go ahead, it should be fine” he thanks her and sits.
Ivory was the first to make conversation “So how’s it going? You interested in the new first person shooter that came out?”
Strangely enough Onyx’s friend was immediately interested despite his appearance. He was a textbook definition of a jock with a muscular frame, a spiky crew cut and a sports jersey with matching Adidas sneakers. “Yea man I’ve already pre-ordered it we should totally do some co-op together.” So we ended up eating together; Onyx was talkative and asked a couple of questions about me and the rest of my group.
Ivory cancels on his normal walk with me to talk more with Night Arrow, Onyx’s friend; he knows he owes me though. After school ends, I wander, dragging my feet behind me, hoping to prolong the time till I have to go back to my apartment. It's not a bad apartment; it's a small, -sparsely decorated-, two bedroom apartment. It’s easy to keep clean because of its size, but even with the small amount of room, it feels cold and empty, it doesn’t feel lived in. I still sleep there regardless.
The sun rises on yet another day other students start appearing as I get closer to the school. I make it to class early, Onyx isn’t here yet. I set down my backpack and reach in to grab my English notebook. Then, I see him walk in, wearing a simple red shirt with dark jeans and a colorful belt. He walks right up to me and asks if I could help him study for the upcoming grammar test. I would have invited some friends but only Scarlet and Rose we're free and while I loved them I didn't want them focusing on each other rather than helping us study.
We chose to go to the school library and study quietly there until it closed. Our school library was relatively small and always had at least one couple and a group of girls that’d make noise no matter how many warning they got from the librarian. This librarian was a middle aged woman with blonde hair that was always in a tight bun on top of her head. She wore fashionable red glasses and a blouse with a long pencil skirt; when it was especially cold she'd also wear a thick cable-knit stockings. She was a fairly nice woman who memorized all the regulars names and could easily tell you where any book was. I always made sure to greet her when I came in; briefly asking her about her young daughter and husband before heading off to choose a table.
The table we sat at had a slight wobble and was covered in graffiti on top and had gum stuck to the bottom; but it was made of a nice dark wood that was similar to what the bookshelves were made of. Onyx sat next to me rummaging through his black camouflage backpack for his English textbook. It was cute watching his brows furrow and his movements gradually become more and more frantic as he dug through his unorganized backpack. The bag was filled with crumpled paper that had been haphazardly stuffed into any and all available space. In the end, he wasn't able to find it in the mess; we decided to share mine between the both of us.
After a few hours of half studying half goofing off, we went our separate ways. The walk home was quiet and normal, my path was brightly lit by numerous streetlights. However, if you paid attention, you could hear heavy breathing coming from the shadowy alleys and see drunk men dressed in business suits with flushed faces lying against the building walls. Occasionally I would pass a group of men smoking and joking around with friends or I'd see a small late night food joint with men clinking beer glasses together. A group of five or so women passed by me wearing skimpy clothing and stumbling over their own feet; they'd probably just came from a club or bar nearby. Some of them still wore their stiletto heels while other walked with stocking or bare feet.
As I turned a corner, only a few minutes from my house, a hand shot out! A putrid, moist smell immediately told me he was drunk, very drunk judging by how strong the smell was. I turned to see a man in his late thirties, his plump cheeks were flushed and we're raise because of a sloppy yellow grin slathered across his face. He wore a dirty dress shirt that was now only half tucked into his pants, a tie was carelessly shoved into his pants pocket, most of it hung out of it, and I spied a gold ring on his left hand. He fumbled towards me looking confused and perverted. He leaned towards me, grabbing my hand with sweaty palms, asking if I was free for the night and how much I cost; he talked about how his wife wasn't expecting him home till three. I glared at him pulling my hand away and proceeded to slap him in the face. “Go home to your wife you drunk!” I quickly turned, my legs carrying me even faster down the street, leaving him standing with a pulsing red handprint on his face. He looked angry but equally confused staggering on the sidewalk, fighting a losing battle to stay on his feet and not pass out, forgetting the most basic of motor skills.
I reached home to be hit with more sickening scents. The smell of sweat, men and cheap perfume. My brother's bedroom door opens, revealing a young full-bodied woman dressed in a tight black dress that barely covered her thighs and holding lacy blue panties. When she turned to face me, I saw a medium sized bruise on her cheek. She smiled at me asking how I was and if I was thinking about my future. Hers hadn’t gone so well, but at least -money wise-, she was good enough. However, her tired eyes and sagging smile told me that money came with a lot of strings attached. Her smile deflated as my silence continued. She wasn't specifically a hooker she was actually an escort; sometimes customer got handsy and couldn't figure out what no or stop meant. Sapphire Love, broke the silence “I'm sorry about coming over unannounced, I hope your brother gets better. Remember to call me if you need anything at all.” Then, she grabbed her things gave me a quick hug and left.
I felt bad for her; she still cared about my brother even now. Back during their high school and young adult life, they'd dated. My brother had even proposed to her, but then everything had been ruined in an instant. Our lives were torn and warped until they were unrecognizable. There was the crash then what happened to Beth; a devastating one-two punch. First Terence had to fight to keep me with him he had to prove to the court he was capable of taking care of thirteen old me; even though he was only nineteen himself. For years, he managed to care for the both of us and raise me mostly by himself. He'd started being careful with money and quickly got a job that a friend of his had hooked him up with.
Five years ago felt like forever. Waking up in a hospital, being unable to see anything, being unable to move anything aside from my pupils; I had no strength. The next time I woke up, I could lift my eyelids, I could make out three blurry figures. The figures seemed to be arguing, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. A few days later, I could finally make out what they were saying, it was much easier because one of the them was shouting in this constantly silent room. “So what if I'm only nineteen, I'm going to take care of my little sister. No matter what!” At that time, he was a brother I felt nothing but pride and love for.
Healing from the accident was exhausting, once I could feel everything all I could feel was pain. Terence had to tie rubber gloves on me so I wouldn't constantly scratch my skin. I had a large scar right against my hairline on the left side of my face. My tongue and lips we're so swollen that I couldn't be understood for weeks. He was with me through all of it, helping me eat and staying with me whenever it had night terrors. I looked up to him, I knew he would always take care of me.
However, three years later, he was sentenced to two years in jail after assaulting an officer. The officer had used his position to try and force Beth into a sexual relationship at the age of seventeen. I still remember when Sapphire had called him at first he'd been happy asking how she was till he heard her sobbing. When he heard those sniffles his face instantly paled and his expression was laced with concern. He stood motionless, with tears falling on his own face, as she described her rape and begged for his forgiveness. "Saph, I will never not love you" With that we both got in the car and rushed to see her.
In her bedroom her sheets had been thrown into a pile and... an offending white substance had been placed in a baggy for evidence. Silver Spark hugged her, placing his chin on her cobalt blue hair, she cried into his shirt while his tear rolled down his chin and into her hair.
After spending hours comforting her he left me with her at our house and went to the police station with the evidence. Where he had a run in with the police officer who Sapphire had described, and immediately punched him in the face. He broke the cop's nose before he was pulled off him.
While the officer was discharged once the allegations were confirmed Terence still went to jail. When he was released he was different than I remembered him. He often drank and got into skirmishes with others. I felt disappointed in him; it felt like he had abandoned me, as if he didn't care about me or Sapphire anymore. The worst part was watching him destroying himself, I wouldn't believe this was my brother.
It’s Saturday morning and I have no interest in staying home so I call up Ivory. “You wanna hang? Sure we could go to this new ice cream place downtown, can pick you up in thirty minutes?” After solidifying our plans I thank him and start gathering any trash around me. I walk into Silver’s room, I can hear his calm rhythmic breathing as he sleeps on his stomach with his black hair unruly and messy. I gently run my hands through his hair, it feels a bit greasy. I empty his trash and leave a sticky note on his door saying -take a shower, wash your sheets and feed Anna at six-; then I left after hearing a car honk.
“Feel like having ice cream and walking through town with me?” Ivory sits with his window down waving at me.
“I'm thinking orange sherbet” I reply before getting in his car and driving off.
Downtown is always busy on the weekend; finding a parking spot was near impossible. So twenty minutes after parking we're finally at the ice cream joint; as expected it's even colder inside. The interior is decorated in bright blues and neon yellow. We perused our options, Ivory chose double chocolate brownie and I chose orange sherbet. When I reached in my pocket Ivory quickly cut in front of me and paid. “You just love making me owe you don’t you.?” His response was a cheeky grin. Afterwards we walked through town; joking and laughing together and Max and I competing in who could tell the cheesiest jokes.
At midday we stopped in a small restaurant we both ordered appetizers but Max also ordered ribs claiming a guy like him needed to eat a lot of meat to bulk up; he also mentioned that Kim ate a lot of meat. “I think it's a lot more about body type and exercise than how much meat you eat. But you better let me eat some.”
The Saturday ended with both of us having slightly sticky fingers and full stomachs. “I’ll see you at school.” He said before driving off.
When I came inside I noticed a fresh can of cat food out and there was leftover food in the fridge that also had a note -Thanks Sis-; “Love you too” I said to no one in particular.
A few day later I ran into Sapphire at a nearby convenience store..She was dressed more conservatively in a tight green sweater with jeans. Her black plastic basket held toiletries and some snacks but what really drew my attention was the pregnancy test hidden underneath a bag of chips. She quickly explained that she just wanted to make sure, since she hadn’t been feeling well, however, I could see it in her face that she was worried. She fumbled for an explanation, but in there is no other reason to buy a pregnancy test other than if you think you might be pregnant. “Don't mention it to anyone, I've been running late this month. I don't want anyone to know until i'm completely certain.” After we went our separate ways all I could think was would she keep it? Did she know who the father is... is it Terence’s?
On Monday, we had our grammar test, it was as difficult as I expected even more so with my thought being preoccupied by Sapphire. Onyx came up to me after class and thanked me for helping him study and invited me to see a movie. I was a bit worried that he may be hitting on me, he's not ugly but I don't know him that well. It got colder with flurries coming down often, though none of it stuck. After the week ended, Onyx and I went to see a movie. I wore a knee-length black skirt with thick tights and a cream sweater. My hair was put up into a high bun. Onyx was wearing a horizontally striped shirt with light blue jeans, his hair was smoothed on one side and he had an endearing half smile when he greeted me I smiled back. In my mind I was praying he wouldn't try to make a move on me; I had Rose on call in case I needed to leave fast. I really enjoyed the movie; there were several scenes where I had to stifle my laughter.
However, Onyx had been gradually moving closer to me and took all opportunities to touch me. When we were leaving the theater, he pulled me over to a small burger joint. We got burgers with french fries; the night was enjoyable but just as we left the shop he reached for my hand and pulled me towards him and then he kissed me. I stared blankly at him and wiped my lips with my sleeves. “I don't like you in that way, I don't dislike you so i'll forget this happened. We should head back now.” The car ride back was super awkward with his radio being the only noise.
When we got to my apartment he anxiously rubbed the back of his neck searching for the right words “Sorry about tonight, I'm glad we're still cool… Night”.
I didn't see him again until Monday, during fourth period. I was very surprised when I saw he had a bruise near his eye. During lunch I never saw Ivory, my first idea was to ask reigning gossip queen Rose. Her face immediately turned guilty, Scarlet rolled his eyes at her “She told Ivory that Onyx forcibly kissed you.” He said matter of fact.
“What! How could you; I told you to keep it to yourself. Did Ivory… punch him?”
Once again Scarlet replied first “Yea but it was a pretty small fight, only a couple people saw it. Ivory just went up to him, punched him then walked away.”
I felt the corners of my mouth rise imagining gentle nerdy Ivory fighting someone “He really did that? For me?”
I finally ran into Max a few days later when I caught him walking to his car. “Are you avoiding me? Cause if you are I'm going to need you to stop.” He glanced away and sighed loudly
“I guess I have been avoiding you, huh? I just… when if heard from Rose that Onyx kissed you I felt so angry; I surprised myself honestly.” I stared at his face seeing the confusion and underlying anger in them.
“I think you got so angry because you like me.”
His jaw dropped he started fumbling with his words trying to form a coherent response. His face flushed as he bit his lips and replied “I might but… do you like me?” Now it was my turn to flush; he smiled “I think my feeling are reciprocated.” While he quickly got over his embarrassment I can't say the same for myself. When I saw him I couldn't help but blush a bit; dang it now I'm the one avoiding him.
“So now you're conscious of Ivory as a guy? I think you'd be cute together you've always been good friends why not try dating him?” Said Sky; who was currently dipping a French fry in ketchup with a raised eyebrow.
“You don't understand cause you've never had a boyfriend; dating could ruin our friendship if we break up. But if I reject him I know that would ruin it too.”
She grinned widely “Then you might as well date him.” Her blue eyes winked at me.
Two days later I told Max to meet me after school; during which I wondered why I hadn't wanted for him inside the school. “Ah It's freezing” I said as I blew into my hands rubbing them together quickly.
When he saw me he shook his head and shrugged off his coat, he walked up to me and put into the on my shoulders “You've never been able to stand the cold into the have thought you would be the first to wear a coat.” I pouted at him
“It's your fault, I was distracted all day and I forgot to wear my coat. But anyway I agree with you.” I said angrily
“Agree on what?” I grabbed his hands and looked up at his face
“That you're feelings are reciprocated.”
While we were now officially dating It was still awkward. It felt strange to randomly touch him and Rose was always asking about how our new upgraded relationship felt; it felt weird. But there was no way I was going to let this end because of my shyness. First order of business is to normalize touching. Whenever we are together I'd go out of my way to touch his arm, put my hand on his shoulder; overall invading his personal space. His response was to do the same, he'd hold my hands in the hallway if we were standing together his hand would be on my waist. My face was burning during the entire week, I'd underestimated him. “Are you used to girls or something?” I asked Ivory during lunch
“Nope, I'm just used to you” He smiled kissing me on the cheek.
“Ivory, I promise you I will embarrass you.”
Suddenly a colorful slip of paper was in front of my face; “And I promise you that you'll have a good time, especially since i'll be with you.”
So a few weeks before it closed, he took me to an amusement park. The line was ridiculous with around twenty people in every line to get in. We we're inside quickly though, the first thing I did was grab a map “Haven’t we gone to this park for more than three years?”
I turned towards him “I like to know what order to go into and that’s easier with a map” I said proudly. We chose to go on the less busy rides first which included: teacups, pirate ship, and a two hundred foot drop tower. Then we moved onto the more popular roller coasters. I love the initial drop while Ivory prefers the 360° loops. Several rides later we sat down to eat overpriced food, I ordered a hot dog while he got a burger with large fries so we could share. I was a bit tired so after eating we simply sat down and watched a small parade happening in the park. The park’s mascots we're cute white rabbit one dressed in a tux the other in a frilly turquoise dress with a flower of her ear. It wasn't that relaxing considering how many rowdy kids were around us.
“Wanna go on a few more rides? Or are you too lazy?” He asked challenging me
“You know I’m never too lazy to go on a roller coaster.” However after ten more roller coasters we were both tired. Before we left we bought funnel cake with powdered sugar and ice cream. Our hands quickly got covered in the dusty powder; with Ivory's messy eating habits some also ended up on his nose. I grabbed a napkin and rubbed it off “How are you so cute?”
We spent more time together after getting used to the idea of being together together . We often went on dates in town, went to see movies, played video games at his place or simply walked to the school together while holding hands. I had never looked at myself as Ivory's girlfriend but I didn't think I'd like being his girlfriend as much as I do. We haven't gone all the way yet but there has been some occasional heated sessions. We we're both new to sex and while we understood how it worked the idea of how badly we could mess up was terrifying. We decided to meet at my place; the night began with an awkward and quickly spiraled into a make out session. We stood in the entryway entirely focused on each other; my fingers ran marathons in his curly hair. He held my cheek as he kissed me deeply and pressed his body against mine. We made our way to the bedroom. I sat in his lap with my legs wrapped around his waist. I left a trail of kiss marks on his neck as I feverishly devoured him. Suddenly he held me back, he was sweaty and nervous. “I think we're going too fast. I don't think either of us are ready; I need to be able to control myself so that I don't accidentally hurt you.” I stared at him surprised at myself, we had both lost ourselves in the feeling. “You're right, Ivory, we don't have any reason to rush. But, can we sleep near each other?”
A Child and a Christmas Date
When I woke up, he was still sleeping and snoring slightly. I gently tousled his soft brown hair slowly climbed out of his embrace. I rummaged through my dresser grabbing an over sized t-shirt and a pair of panties before heading to the bathroom. Afterwards I wiped at the foggy mirror to begin the process of combing through my bedhead. When I entered my room I was happy to see Ivory awake; he looked adorable as he got up all bleary-eyed. After he took his own shower he joined me in the kitchen. “Good morning, do you want cereal, oatmeal or toast?” I ask with a smile. He immediately ask for cereal, I reach into the cabinet and retrieve two bowls “You're such a copycat”. We sit on top of my bed while watching TV and eating overly sugary cereal. We watch silly kid cartoons and watch Anna attack and hot pink feather toy; because of the weekend we could spend hours goofing off with each other..
A few hours later Ivory’s parents called asking him to come watch his little sister. After Ivory had left, Sapphire showed up again dressed in a large fluffy coat looking even more worried than last time. “Where is Silver? I need to tell him something.” I didn’t really know where he was,
“Have you tried calling him?” Then, she told me what she needed to tell him; she was pregnant with a child. What’s worse is that she was already a few weeks along and was thinking of keeping the baby. She asked me if I thought Silver would help her raise it even if it wasn't his. My brother might be capable of taking care of a baby, after all he had helped a lot in raising me. If she told him he might even completely return to the brother I loved to help her. But there was one huge problem how would she make money with a baby? Being unable to make money would make caring for a newborn impossible! Her hours would become super unpredictable and her steady income would disintegrate; should she abort it? I would help her as much as possible if she decided to keep it.
During the majority of lunch I stared at my hands trying to picture how Sapphire's uncertain future might play out. “Hello, anyone home?” Scarlet waved his hand with a questioning expression.
“Oh I'm sorry what were you asking me?” He sighed in asking exaggerated way.
“We were discussing our life goals because Rose brought up wanting to a professional musician. Sky already said she'd be a historian like her father, even though I don't think it suits her. What about you?” I stare at the ceiling.
“I don't have a plan I just want to be happy. Did you already say your dreams?” They all sighed at my answer.
Sky replied “What is happiness for you; we're already seniors making a plan is probably a good idea.”
A few days before break, Ivory asked if I was free on Christmas eve. I would definitely have a nice Christmas with him, obviously I accepted his invitation. So I sat in my room, clothes thrown about contemplating which outfit was best. In the end, I chose a cute turquoise sweater dress with thick stockings and a pair of long brown lace up boots. I styled my hair so it curled and cupped my face; I also put dark purple lipstick on. “Well, time to go, See you later, Anna.”
The only songs playing on the radio were Christmas songs; we sang jingle bells several times during the thirty minutes drive towards downtown. We went to see the large Christmas tree in the park;we walked around sipping hot chocolate and watching the Christmas lights. The tree was covered from the tip down in tinsel and colorful ornaments with the top adorned with a large silver star. The whole area was lightly dusted in snowflakes but because of all the people it was now dirty and mushy. On every corner there was a man dressed in red, ringing a bell. After the sun fell below the horizon it became much colder. Every few minutes the cold would cause me to have a massive whole body shiver; Ivory re-wrapped my scarf so that it covered my chin and ears; he grabbed my hand and put it in his pocket and suggested we go to his house so it to didn't catch a cold. However, first we stopped by a bakery that was open late for last second Christmas goers and purchased a small Christmas roll cake created to look like a log. We turned around and began walking back to his car; the interior was freezing I sat shivering with my hands tucked beneath my thighs waiting for the seats to warm up.
He parked in front of a large brick front house with electric candles in every window; the house was large with three bedrooms: his, his sister’s and his parents’. Thankfully, no one was home when we entered so I didn't have to worry about greeting them as his girlfriend for the first time. After placing the cake in the fridge and removing our snow covered coats, we sat in the living room watching cute family movies and snuggling in a large plush blanket, our legs entwined and his chin resting on my head. I love him so much I think as I nuzzle into his shoulder.
Some time later I woke up in Ivory’s bed; he must have carried me after I fell asleep . I glanced over at his alarm clock; it was already mid morning. I wrapped myself in the comforter, it smells like him ; the room was covered with posters and pictures on the walls displaying bands and video games. There was a messy desk on the other side of the room covered in papers with an open laptop quietly playing music. Once I finished looking around his room he walked in holding a glass filled with orange juice. I walked down the stairs with him and I was greeted with the smell of eggs, cinnamon and brioche bread. His mother was of average height with -jaw length- curly hair and brown eyes that crinkled. She smiled brightly at me “You're finally awake, you hungry for french toast?”
His father was slightly taller than his wife, he had stubble and friendly grey eyes. “Morning! I'm still surprised you two finally got together after so long” he chuckled loudly. Then his younger sister, Little Dawn, came shouting down the staircase, “Is she up? She has time to play with me right?” She froze when she saw me. She stood in front of me and looked me up and down before smiling, showing several missing teeth. “Thank God big brother finally confessed, now she'll come over all the time”
I said goodbye to his parents and Dawn. Afterwards I returned to my home. My brother was waiting for me at the entrance; I was surprised when I saw him. He looked like he use to, his black hair was pushed to the side and his face was freshly shaved. He was tall and handsome; it was obvious why ladies flocked to him. “I’m sorry for the trouble I’ve caused you. Saph told me she was pregnant and whether it's mine or not I plan to help her take care of the child!” he spoke sincerely. It’s been so long since I was proud of him, maybe the baby would affect our lives in a way even better than I imagined. “If you're willing to help me sis, I'd forever be in your debt.” I smirked at him “Silver, now you owe me for life.”
After a month it seemed this new, reliable Silver was here to stay. A lot changed over the winter. My brother got a job as a cook, he worked more than sixty hours a week. If he racked up enough experience he may be able to get a job as a chef. As months passed by and the season change from a snow laden winter to a spring filled with new beginning and finally to a bright, blinding summer.
As Sapphire's stomach was now noticeably l protruding it was time to go maternity shopping. We had to drive to a mall farther away to get a good selection of maternity clothing. The store was organized by how many months pregnant you we're; we want searching in the six to nine month section. They had racks upon racks of sweatpants with elastic waist bands and loose dresses and her wardrobe now consisted of only maternity pants and Silver’s large shirts.
She could only see the tips of her toes and spent a lot of time seated on her floor with a fitness ball or in the bathroom peeing. She and Silver had decided that neither of their individual places were large enough to raise are child in comfortably. So they got a new place; It's was in a safer part of town. It was a three bedroom one story; the outsides was white with a tint of blue. Anna was skittish for a bit while getting use to her new home. Sapphire and Silver slept together every night wrapped in their sheets. Silver’s arm covering her protectively.
Because of Silver’s job Sapphire was able to stop working once her baby bump became noticeable. Over her five or so months of free time she took classes to become a gym instructor. Ivory and Scarlet often came over and helped during her pregnancy; She looked happy.
A few month into Sapphire's pregnancy Silver proposed. They did a private wedding; only a few people were there. Some of Sapphire and Silver’s closest friends, me and most of my friends. It was in a nearby church that they got married in. Sapphire couldn't stop crying during the exchange. You could say the same of me; Sapphire was dressed in a floor length white dress with lace that delicately flowed off her hips and pooled on the floor. She didn't have a veil but I had helped braid babies breath flowers into her hair and curled the ends. I was glad she had forgone mascara otherwise it would have gotten all over her face by now; she did have beautiful pink lipstick on. Silver also looked nice in his rented tuxedo, he had babies breath in his breast pocket to match. At the altar they said their vows and exchanged delicate silver bands with no one but you engraved on the inside before kissing her he reached into his pocket and took out his locket. “I always thought lockets were more of a feminine thing, it looks beautiful on you.” Inside was a picture of ten year old Silver and a picture of him and Sapphire smiling. “I love it and I love you” Then Sapphire grabbed him and they kissed.
For weeks after the wedding I would catch Silver staring at his hand with a gentle smile. On June 9th I graduated from Canterlot High School. There was a ceremony held in the school gym; it was packed with people. In the center of the basketball court were two hundred black and silver chairs. Sapphire couldn't come, she felt the bleachers were a death trap for a pregnant woman with terrible balance. However one of Silver’s friends had promised to videotape the entire ceremony for her. The ceremony lasted around two hours; it was clogged with long speeches and clapping or shouting after every name.
During Ivory’s and my walk to the stage I could hear Silver and his friend as well as Ivory’s parents and sister. When my name was called I rose from my seat and walked past several rows of chairs to receive my diploma. When I received it I didn't feel particularly proud I just felt glad I didn't have to spend another year there. Yay, now I get to either find a job or do even more school. Ivory had already been accepted by his choice college. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go at all. I was glad everything was going well, but it seemed like so much good luck had to be paid back with bad luck. I was right, but I was also very wrong.
A month later Sapphire went into labor. She had been at home watching some yoga instructor on the television when she'd started feeling light contractions. She and Silver walked for and not few minutes to see if they'd pass or not. They continued, eventually getting stronger. Once her contractions were six minutes apart I drove them to the hospital. Silver held Sapphire’s hand the entire time, he kept repeating in a calm voice “ Just breathe”. Once we were there Silver was given a few pages to sign and read. Sapphire was given and paper dress that left her butt exposed. She was laid on a hospital bed dressed in only and paper dress and a bracelet covered in her information.
After four hours of labor Sapphire gave birth, on July 23rd, to a sleepy and plump boy. He was named Moon Dust, an angel of miracles. He had Sapphire’s blue hair and Silver’s nose and jaw, a beautiful combination. Because she had him in the summer, Ivory was able to be there for her as well; everyone loved him.
A month or so after Moon’s birth Sapphire got a job as as gym instructor. She mostly taught yoga and pilates but also did occasional stretching classes for other pregnant woman. She chose to go to a larger, more popular gym that was farther because she made more money. She also had a much larger pool of clients. Silver still worked as a cook but he had gotten a raise.
My brother often went to a nearby bar, Midnight's Bar. It's was actually a fairly nice place. Silver knew the bartender there and if he ever got too drunk he would call me or let him sleep it off at his place. Rocking Spice is his name; He's quite tall with bronze skin and short, coarse hair. I've never seen him without his trademark red headphones. He always wears black cargo pants with an army green sleeveless shirt. Depending on the season he also wore a green bomber jacket.
One night, a drunkard told my brother in very explicit terms how Sapphire had been with him as well as other men, how she would open her legs and shake her hips for the right price. Silver immediately punched him, “You should stop talking about my wife like that. Next time I’ll break more than your nose.” Spice had quickly broken up the fight, knowing exactly how to pacify the wildly drunk. After which he proceeded to chew out Silver. “Those guys may be dumb as a sack of hammers but they're also cowards that won't go after you; they'll go after those you care for.”
Nothing bad happened for a while, but when Moon turned one, Silver got into a large squabble with some other men that had badmouthed Sapphire. They were discussing her body and how skilled she was in bed. “A woman like that settling down with one man? Impossible, it’s no surprise she already has a kid. Does he even know if the brats really his?” They wanted to hurt him where it would do the most damage. “What was the brat's’ name? It something like Mope or Milk wasn’t it?” Once again, Silver got in a fight.
A few nights later, Sapphire was with Moon at a new fitness friend’s house. Earlier, I had asked Ivory to come so we could spend time together. He said he wouldn’t be able to come till six, then he'd be free to spend the night. They had thought she would have been at Silver’s so they went there first. The happiness had made me dumb and vulnerable, when they rang, I didn't even think it could be anyone but Ivory, so I just opened the door. “Ivory?” I had originally had a smile on my face, but it twisted into a frown, I screamed. I was an idiot.
What could I do? They came in, and when they couldn’t find Sapphire or Moon, they only got angrier. I was the only one there. I was alone, weak, and terrified. I sank into the corner, shaking violently, my face already bruised. After the two argued over what to do, they grabbed me. Bringing their faces so close I could smell their rancid breath, “You sure are unlucky. Don’t worry we’ll make sure to tell Silver about this, in great detail.”
I just laid there beaten, sore, and naked. I licked my busted lip, grimacing at the metallic taste. My fingernails were dirty with dried blood. I looked up and cried, my vision quickly became a watery blur of color. My body shook violently and my lips trembling. I wish this had never happened but I'm glad Sapphire and Moon are safe. My body was bruised and aching but what was left between my legs was an even bigger cause for concern. Once the tears stopped falling and all that was left on my face was snot and salty streaks, I called Silver, “Please come quickly I need you I was… attacked.” He arrived slightly after Ivory. I was in bad shape, with bruises covering my body. Those pigs hadn’t been gentlemen, I hoped I wasn't pregnant. They helped me in the shower and brought me clothes, and after what had happened, I hid my face in Ivory’s chest and cried.
Life wasn’t that much harder after what happened, but Ivory always looked troubled; he'd barely touched me since then. It was horrible. Did he think less of me? What if he thought I was filthy? Did he not want me anymore now that I had been stained by someone else? Does he think I’m dirty? Whenever I was alone and my mind wandered, I'd relive that night. The disgusting sweat, the pain, and the sounds. I'd absentmindedly scratch at my arms leaving painful welts. When someone saw me, they'd ask why I was crying. Moon was growing well, and Anna was a full grown cat now. Max was going to college as well, so I saw him even less. As time went on, I couldn’t stop the thoughts.
The frequent nausea and inability to hold down anything I ate frightened me. So I went to the store,and I prayed and prayed not to be pregnant. I hadn’t done anything with Ivory in a while and we always used a condom, so if I was pregnant it wasn’t his, it was one of theirs. The thought was vile and nauseating that it made me feel like vomiting. After throwing up, the feeling wouldn't end, and I'd spend the day dry heaving. It felt as if maggots had wormed their way into my body, poisoning me, living inside of me. Constantly shifting inside me, laughing at my pain. How could my own body have betrayed me? I wouldn’t allow a fetus caused by rapists to grow in my body.
My hand trembled while I brought the pregnancy test to my face all air left my lungs. I stared at the object; finally my lungs inflated, my chest expanded, and I screamed. I went crazy when I saw the two bars. I threw the stick trying to deal with the pain of my discovery. My hand ripped through my hair, pulling out strands. The screams ripped out of my throat, each fighting to be first. The noise surrounded me, driving me insane. A deafening mind numbing noise, I physically couldn't stop screaming. I scratched and scratched my stomach leaving red welts along my abdomen. Blood and skin stuck under my fingernails.
I continued yelling, throwing trinkets and makeup from the sink onto the floor, some broke on the floor leaving shards and powder. I fell to my knees, my breath labored. My heart was tired and I had finally stopped screaming, my throat burned. I looked at myself in the mirror, my hair looked limp, my cheeks hollow and my eyes sad and haunted. I punched that mirror, shattering it, leaving a warped image of myself. I cried out when the shards pierced my skin leaving blood smeared on the broken mirror; blood dripped from my shaking hand. My eyes turned wild and fearful. I rushed from the bathroom into the kitchen, my vision blurred with tears. I ripped through the drawers, silverware clattering as it hit the floor. I lifted my shirt and grabbed the knife, the grip slipped, my blood slick on the handle, but I drew it above my head and aimed for the baby forming inside my body. I didn’t want it!
“Stop!!” Ivory grabbed the knife and threw it across the room. He grabbed my face, “I’m here I shouldn’t have left you alone. This is all my fault, I’m so sorry.” He enveloped me, his warmth, his kindness was so comforting. His face was twisted with concern, and I felt his tears drop onto my face, then all at once, my body relaxed. I cried big fat tears. They run down my face and I feel my nose dripping. It felt as if my lungs were burning. I was so glad he came for me, I needed him. Silver and Sapphire arrived minutes after Ivory called them. They all care so much for me. How could I have been so blind? Every person in this room cared for me so much. How would I ever repay them?
Sapphire was the first to leave the -four person- embrace. She took out her cell phone, swiping at her cheeks, and called 911. Within twenty minutes, they arrived. Several men came, helping me to a gurney and asking multiple health questions. Once I reached the hospital, nurses rushed me in, they did several tests to check the severity of my injuries and the baby’s health.
Ivory had hurt his hand grabbing the knife, so his right hand had been stitched up and wrapped with a thick bandage. When I arrived, they drew blood and carefully removed the glass from my hands and legs. Afterwards, they performed an ultrasound on me, smearing cold gel on my stomach. While the gel felt strange, the temperature helped to reduce the pain. My stomach was red, irritated and sensitive from what I had done earlier. After hours of tests, the baby was determined to be unharmed and I, thankfully, hadn't tried to kill it by downing random pills. My hands and legs were fully concealed with dressings. They'd applied cream to speed up the healing process and relieve pain. Then I had to spend another hour sitting with a therapist.
“Are you awake? I would knock but you know; can I come in?” A few tears fell as I saw his bandaged hands. He sighed loudly and gingerly grabbed a chair. He stared at the floor for a bit, leaving his hands on the edge of the bed. I entwined our fingers together, and more tears came.
“I’m sorry, I-It felt as if the world was closing in on me. I thought the only way to stop the pain and the fears was to end everything.” I sniffled loudly. “It was as if the world was silent and deafening all at once, as if my whole body was caving in on itself.” For a moment, the room was silent. He covered his face as he sat up and cried. For several minutes, every noise in the room consisted of either medical beeps or crying.
Finally, his sobs lessened to occasional gasps. “I love you.” When he stated, he exposed his puffy face and red eyes. “Don't leave me, I need you in my life. If you ever need anything, please, just come to me. I will always do my best to make you happy, to protect you… Please?” He grabbed me, gently pressing his face against my stomach. “I’m so glad I was able to make it in time. Please don’t scare me again. I was able to save you and the baby this time, but don’t do this again. You’ll end up worrying me to death.” He laughed softly looking up at me. He reached and wiped a stray tear from my flushed cheeks. “You are the center of my world; what would I do if you left me.”
I was kept in the hospital for a few days to make sure there were no problems with my body and that I wouldn't try to injure myself again. Ivory still wanted to love the baby, but when I pictured that baby, I also saw my rapists. I could feel bile in the back of my throat if I thought about them. I could handle giving birth to it, but I know I could never fully love it. Pregnancy was going to be long and difficult, but now I had remembered that I had people that I could rely on. Thinking about it now, I would have been sad if I never saw Moon again. I hadn’t told Ivory yet, but when I bring the baby into the world, I don't think I could keep it.