In a backwater universe, far, far away from canon…

Twilight's eyes ached. Her eyelids scraped over the surface of her corneas with an imperceptible squeak, like tiny dry rubber squeegees on glass.

A familiar and comforting sensation, in a slightly masochistic way.

Sore eyes and an exhausted brain were an athletic ache. At least that's what she liked to think, especially when somepony pointed out her posterior was growing plumper. Neurons consumed vast amounts of energy and a good hard reading binge was just as strenuous as her friends pushing their bodies to the limit up in the sky or down on the farm!

They'd laugh their tails off at the comparison, which was exactly why she never bragged about her swole cerebrum.

With furrowed brows and flared nostrils she grunted, "Yeah!" quietly as she leaned over her book.

Grokking the Multiverse Without Going Insane was the bibliophile's equivalent of slapping on all the weights and bashing your skull against The Wall. Without a spotter. It was a thick, heavy, and unspeakably bizarre tome! Twilight wasn't at all certain that its author had managed the staying sane bit, and trying to make sense of the half scientific-inquiry, half mad-raving, and half drunken-foal's-doodles on the book's multidimensional pages was making her head throb.

The author was either a mad genius who'd seen too much or an imaginative moron who didn't get out enough.

That Twilight was on her third rep… Her third read through wasn't doing her brawny neurons much good. The hollowed and - to Twilight - hallowed oak tree was so quiet her ears would flick and twitch whenever a candle flame fluttered. Pages turned, echoing infrequent rustles from the Golden Oak's leafy crown overhead. A dozen or so pages later she sat back to rest her twitching eyes. She glanced over to the threadbare couch where her brother was leafing through a math-heavy article by Dr. Whooves' - a paper which hypothesised that Time and Space were actually the same thing. More fringe nonsense. But when the rulers of Equestria send you restricted material from the Canterlot archives with a note that reading them was 'of the utmost urgency' what else could a pony do but pound the pages?

Spike trotted in with mugs of coffee and cinnamon buns for the busy unicorn siblings.

He placed Twilight's on the table, peeked into the book, and made a slightly nauseated sound. "Geeze, Twilight! I don't know how you can read this stuff. Travelling through wormholes?" He stuck out his forked tongue. "Blegh! Space must be really mucous-y."

Twilight rubbed at her eyes with the soft frogs of her hooves and groaned. "I know, Spike. I know! It doesn't make much sense to me either. But it has to be really important if- Spike?" Her eyes snapped open as her little dragon assistant made wet horking noises and hunched over the book's eye twisting pages.

"BUUUURP!"

Fortunately it was a scroll that materialised out of his green fire, rather than gem-encrusted vomit.

Twilight caught the scroll in her magic, unrolled it, and skimmed its brief message with eyes that could barely focus.

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! I'm needed in Canterlot right away!"

Another draconic burp resounded from the other side of the room and moment later her brother yelped, "I've been summoned too and they're sending a chariot. Come on, Twily, let's go!"

Dusk Shine bolted out the Golden Oak Library's front door with Twilight hot on his hocks. She called over her shoulder, "Spike! Barb! Stay here, okay? Try not to get into too much trouble!"

After the heavy wooden door slammed shut Barb stumbled out from where she'd been napping beside the couch. She yawned and rubbed an eye while peering at Spike. "Sooo… Sleepover with the Crusaders?"

"I guess… But no more spin-the-bottle! I almost died last time when I had to kiss Loo." Spike licked his lips as he picked up Twilight's untouched coffee and cinnamon bun.

Barb shuddered at the memory of kissing Scootaroll. "Pre-teen post-preen pegasus puckers are pretty putrid. Blegh!"

Their chariot was blustery and cold as a pair of Royal Guard pegasi put everything they had into getting to Canterlot as swiftly as possible. Gusts whipped Twilight's mane into her face and she huddled up close to her twin's warmth.

"Look! Over there!" Dusk shouted and she peeped over the chariot's side in the direction his hoof pointed.

Squinting in the glare from puffy white clouds basking in the afternoon Sun, she spotted another chariot flying far below, skimming green fields and tree tops with a pair of yellow ponies huddled inside.

Something moved in the corner of her eye.

She tapped on her brother's shoulder and pointed at a third chariot rising into the sky from Sweet Apple Acres in the distance. "I think all of the Squires have been summoned."

They both shivered as if a nightmare was running its cold hooves up their back. Rushing all of them to Canterlot must mean this was something big. Very big. As in 'major threat to all of Equestria' big!

Bright explosions blossomed overhead followed a few seconds later by a crack and rumble as a spectacular pair of rainbooms spread across the pale blue sky.

The Rainbow twins were first to arrive, of course. Twilight and Dusk heard them yelling over the loud clatter of hooves and rumble of wheels as their chariot touched down in the cobbled courtyard.

"Mine was bigger!" shouted Rainbow Dash into her brother's face.

He snorted. "In your dreams, little sister. I was starboard in the flat scissors when we boomed and the right one was bigger! Mine was bigger!"

Dusk Shine rolled his eyes at the cliché of a stallion boasting about his size. He jumped down from the back of the sky chariot, waved a hoof at the Rainbows and dully observed, "They're at it again."

"When aren't they?" Twilight hopped down beside him and sighed. "They're the epitome of sibling rivalry."

The guards trotted off, taking the chariot with them. Dusk and Twilight moved to join the Rainbow twins as the next one began its landing approach.

Rainbow Dash tapped a hoof against her brother's chest. "Maybe your ass is bigger!"

"My ass? You're the one with foal-bearing hips!"

"Eww! Gross!" Dash shoved Blitz' smug face away with a hoof and stalked over to Twilight and Dusk, "Tell this gigantic ass who's rainboom was bigger! Mine! Right?"

"Blitz'." "Dash's."

Twilight and Dusk glanced at each other, then back at the Rainbow twins.

"Dash's." "Blitz'."

Rainbow Dash groaned and smacked her forehead with a hoof.

There was a loud clattering of hooves as the second sky chariot landed and rolled to a stop on the cobbles. Everypony watched and waited for the next Squires to disembark.

And waited.

Aaand waited.

One of the guards rapped against the chariot with a rear hoof and loudly announced, "Canterlot Castle! Everypony out!"

A yellow hoof reached out from the chariot and tentatively tapped the cobblestones. Butterscotch stepped half way out, smiled and waved to the other Squires, before fully disembarking. He turned and spoke gently to his sister, still hiding in the chariot. "We're here. Come on. I checked and we're safe on the nice, solid ground again."

"Are… Are you sure?" Fluttershy asked in a trembling voice.

Butterscotch's ears folded back and he shot a wide-eyed glance down at his hooves. He cautiously tapped one on the solid cobblestones and gasped in relief. "Yes. Whew. Yes, I'm sure. Come on. It's like stairs only with one teeny step. You got this!"

"I g-got this."

Fluttershy had one hoof on the ground and the other being held by her oh-so-kind and brave brother, when the guards decided they had better get the heck out of the way of the next inbound chariot. They quick marched away, and with a squeak and effeminate yelp Fluttershy and Butterscotch tumbled to the cobbles in a tangle of yellow legs and wings. Both Rainbow twins laughed their colourfully striped asses off while Twilight face-hooved at the silly spectacle. Dusk reached out with his magic to scoop the flailing pegasi up and move them from the path of the final sky chariot as it touched down.

"Howdy, y'all!" Applejack hopped down from the back of the chariot and trotted over to hoof-bump with Rainbow Dash. "That was some raight spec-tack-yuler flyin' there, shugar cube."

"I know, right?!"

Twilight waved shyly to Applejack as he lumbered down from the back of the chariot. "Good evening, Applejack. Did you enjoy your flight?"

The big shaggy stallion shook his head and drawled, "Eeenope."

Dusk Shine rolled his eyes while Twi went all giggly over the lump of farm-pony muscle she had a not-very-secret crush on. He turned to ask Rainbow Blitz, "Where's everypony else? I don't see any more sky chariots inbound."

Blitz shrugged. "You're askin' the wrong pony, Dusky-colt." he said and then gestured at the open portcullis leading into the castle, "Maybe they're already here? Didn't Rarity and Elusive open some fancy-rags shop in Canterlot?"

Dusk snorted a laugh and said, "Don't let them hear you call it that."

Blitz rolled his eyes and grinned. "Duuuh…"

"Squires of Harmony!" a clipped feminine voice called from the entrance. "If I could have your attention please?" Raven Inkwell trotted up, adjusted her glasses, and checked her clipboard while she waited for the Squires to gather around. "I need to do roll call before I escort you to the Sovereigns. Ahem. Applejack?"

"Present!" Applejack waved a hoof.

Raven checked her list and asked, "Umm… Applejack?"

Applejack shook her head and sighed. "Ah jus' said that ah'm here, didn' ah?"

Raven looked pointedly at Applejack's brother and tried again. "A… Applejack?"

"Consarn it!" Applejack pushed her hat up and grouched, "T'aint that hard! Ah'm Applejack and mah brother's Applejack."

Raven cleared her throat and asked, "Apple… JACK?!"

"Eeeyup."

A sextet of Squires followed Raven through the gorgeous halls of Canterlot. Aside from echoes of their hoofsteps, it was strangely quiet despite an extra helping of Royal Guards standing posts.

Most days there were dozens of ponies trotting about, performing tasks menial and critical to keep Equestria's government running smoothly. Today, no line of nobles and commoners waited for an audience. No tour groups were led around by guides to enjoy the spectacular sights and learn trivia about the carpets, stained glass windows, and Canterlot's royals. Even the traditional gaggles of giggling maids in frilly frocks were absent.

The palace was hushed. Hunkered down. Waiting.

Dusk Shine, ever the curious colt, trotted beside Raven and peppered her with questions.

"Are the Squires of Generosity and Laughter here already?"

Raven quickly consulted her clipboard and nodded, making her black mane bob. "Yes, Rarity and Elusive were at their Canterlot Carousel and arrived quickly when summoned. Bubble Berry and Pinkie Pie showed up out of the pink an hour ago, claiming they had to set up for 'the party'."

"Party?"

"Mhmm."

Dusk snorted and asked, "Is that why the Sovereigns summoned all of us? A party?"

Raven waved to the brace of guards standing by the entrance to the Throne Room. They snapped to attention and a pair quickly pushed the doors wide open. Turning back to Dusk Shine, she shook her head and said, "No. Something is wrong! I've never seen all the Sovereigns this upset before."

Rainbow Dash butted in and yelped, "All of them?! As in aaaall of the Sovereigns of Harmony are in Canterlot and they're freaking out?"

"Yes, all present and accounted for."

Twilight groaned.

"And while I wish I could say that they're not 'freaking out'…" Raven glanced around to make sure nopony would overheard and stage whispered, "They're freaking out."

Dusk Shine slowed a little until he was walking next to Twilight. He bumped shoulders with his obviously depressed sister and murmured, "Cheer up, sis. If all of the Sovereigns are in town then you can bet that Shiny and Gleam are here too. You can hang out with them while I deal with the Sovereigns of Magic, if you're not up to it."

Twilight grouched, "I'm never 'up to it' where Trixie is concerned."

"Why do you let her get under your fur?"

"She's just so… so… pompous! And the magic she's so proud of is just slight-of-hoof, and glitz and glam." Twilight's ears wiggled in irritation. "I don't know where we'd be if Princess Celestia hadn't taken pity and enrolled us in her school instead of letting the Sovereigns of 'Maaagic' drag us all over the world with that circus they call a Royal Court."

Dusk chuckled and bumped his sister's shoulder again. "That's true, but you have to admit that Princess Trixie is kind of hot."

"Eww! Dusky! No! Just… Ew!"

He couldn't help but laugh at his sister's tongue-hanging expression of extreme disgust. He was pulling her leg… mostly. Trixie was far from his favourite, but there was something undeniably alluring about any alicorn's flanks.

"I hear somepony laughing!"

Dusk's chortles cut off with an awkward hiccough.

They were halfway across the Throne Room, heading towards the four unoccupied golden thrones of Canterlot's reigning sovereigns, when Pinkie Pie's battle cry rang out overhead.

"Wheeeeeee hee hee hee heeee!"

She swung down to the marble floor on a long paper streamer that was far too thin to actually support such a pleasantly plump party pony. Somehow, she made it work. Skidding to a halt in front of a very surprised Raven, she scooped up the secretary in her forelegs and pranced in a circle while singing.

♫ It's party-time in Canterlot,
After we save the woooorld!
We'll zap and smash,
And have a laugh,
Then dance and sing and twiiirl!
Wooohooo! ♫

At the end of her song she spun Raven away on one of her hind hooves while confetti and streamers burst out from behind a nearby pillar. Raven whirled around, flailing her limbs for a moment before collapsing onto her belly and skidding to a stop on the polished marble floor.

Predictably, the Rainbow twins were cackling and slapping one another's shoulders while Twilight fumed and stalked over to Pinkie Pie.

"Pinkie! We don't have time for silliness right now! Something awful has happened and-"

"But Twiiiliiight! That's the most bestest time for sillinesses!" Pinkie Pie grinned and squeezed a bicycle horn between her hooves, making a 'honk honk' sound.

Twilight gently pushed the horn away from her face and grimaced. "No, Pinkie. It really isn't." She glanced around apprehensively and asked, "Where's Bubble?"

"Oh, he's busy putting a smile on Sable Inkpot's sourpuss muzzle", Pinkie said while shaking her head. "We've never seen so many grumpy pony pants in the palace before! You'd think the universe was imploding or something."

Butterscotch helped poor, dizzy Raven get back onto her hooves while his twin sister dusted confetti off of her with a wing. Raven groaned and asked, "D-did you say Bubble is assaulting my brother again?"

Pinkie nodded happily and chirped, "Uh-huh! The full Personal Party Package with Happy Ending™! If Inkpot isn't smiling after that, ain't nothing going to cheer him up."

Raven's pupils shrank to pinpoints and she breathed, "Oh dear", before galloping out of the Throne Room to rescue her sibling.

Twilight face-hooved so hard she would have fallen over if Dusk Shine hadn't propped her up. In a voice thick with emotional and physical pain she whined, "Pinkiiie! Raven was taking us to the Sovereigns!"

"Oh! I know where they are, silly."

Dusk cleared his throat and asked in his best reasoning-with-the-insane tone, "Can you take us to them? Please?"

Pinkie saluted and chirped, "Okie-dokie-lokie!" She bounded up onto her hooves and bounced through a tall door to the left of four ominously unoccupied thrones.

Author's Note

Here we go!

I hope you'll enjoy reading as much as I have writing. Please PM me if you spot a typo.