Jacked Up

-{Chapter 5: "... Just Started Today."}-

~~~~~

Monday, April 21st, 1002 ANM

Canterlot, Equestria

Garden District, Fancypants' Mansion.

Denise had been wrong about Fancypants- he wasn't a rich, noble snob.

He was a rich, noble dreamboat.

Admittedly, it was a dreamboat that had already set sail, with Fleur de Lis at the helm, but still.  The man- er... stallion, was was charming in every sense of the word.  He seemed to know just what to say and when, and was quite possibly the most polite person- well, pony- that Denise had ever had the pleasure of meeting.  And, in the absolute strangest way, Denise actually found him attractive.  She assumed it was some sort of equine instinct that had been imparted on her by her transformation, but something about him was... well, to put it bluntly, sexy, in a gentlemanly (gentlecoltly?) way.

He even gave the duo the benefit of the doubt, something Denise was very appreciative of.  At first she had assumed he'd simply throw them to the proverbial wolves of law enforcement without a second thought, but Fancypants had possessed the decency to hear them out.  After explaining their situation- leaving out anything prior to the sewer, of course- he gave his word that he would not make mention of them to the authorities when they arrived.

With that, the group headed downstairs, returning to the second hostage.

"Fleur!"

"Orion!"

In a flash, slender unicorn ran to her husband and embraced him in her forehooves.

"Oh, thank Celestia you're okay!  I was so worried!"

"Not as worried as I was, darling," Fancypants reassured his tearful wife, "Those ruffians didn't hurt you, did they?"

"No, I'm fine- thanks to these two."

Con blushed, and Denise averted her gaze.

"It was nothing, really," she muttered.

"Nonsense!" Fancypants proclaimed, "Why, if you two hadn't come along... I don't want to think about what would have happened to us.  I owe you my life, both of you."

"Er, thank you, sir," Denise said, the slightest smile on her face.

"Please," beamed the stallion, "call me Orion."

... Yeah, she'd stick to 'Fancypants'.

"Now," he remarked, clearing his throat as he levitated a golden monocle from his coat pocket, "I'll be calling the city guard in a moment to sort out the, er... mess.  You two would do well to make yourselves... more presentable, if you catch my meaning.  As appreciative as I may be, I doubt the law will feel the same way."

'Ah, shit.'

"Oh, um, right.  If you'll just... excuse us," Denise stammered, stepping out of the room and nudging Conrad along with her.

Shutting the door behind her, Denise let out a sigh.

"Shit," she groaned, "This could be a problem."

"What?  Disguising?"

Denise rolled her eyes, turning around to face her companion.

"Yes, disgui-"

She stopped mid-sentence, shocked.  Where Con had been moments earlier, there now stood a tan unicorn stallion, with a short-cropped navy-blue mane and tail, crimson irises, and a- what were they called... cutie-mark in the shape of a microphone on its flank.

"Wh- how- Con?!"

"Who... else would it be?" he replied slowly, confused.  His voice no longer had the insect-like quality it had possessed in his changeling form, now sounding identical to his voice as a human.

"Bu- but how-"

"Wait," he interrupted, "you're telling me you didn't even figure this out?  How long were you unconscious?"

~~~~~

"AAH!"

"AAAAH!"

"AAAAAAH!"

~~~~~

"Um..."

"Oh, forget it- look, it's easy.  I'll walk you through it..."

Con took Denise to the side, and began to explain how to change her appearance.

~~~~~

Time passed...

"Alright, is this good?"

"See for yourself."

Con lead Denise to a mirror.  Stepping in front of it, Denise looked at herself for the first time since she had arrived in equestria- and not as a changeling.  Instead, she was greeted by the image of a velvet purple unicorn, with bright red irises and a straight, black mane tied neatly in a ponytail- heh, 'pony'tail-, a red flag for a cutie-mark.

Experimentally, she shifted back to her natural form, a quick burst of red-orange flame encompassing her, just for a moment, dispersing to reveal a typical-looking changeling female.  Her horn seemed straighter than that of Conrad's, and a small crest was present on the back of her head.  Otherwise, they were fairly identical- naturally, Con was slightly taller and had a more angular, masculine appearance, but they seemed to be normal changelings.

'Except for our eyes, apparently,' Denise thought with a frown.

She shook the thought from her head.  That was a mystery for later.

"I look... good," she stated, shifting back to her chosen disguise.

"I see you're sticking to the usual color scheme," Con replied with a smirk, noting her still-prevalent preference for red, black, and purple.

"Screw you, I look good in it," she shot back with a smirk, admiring herself in the mirror.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.  It opened a crack, and Fleur peeked her head into the room.

"The guards are here.  They'll want to speak to you."

~~~~~

"Ready?" Fancypants asked in a hushed tone.

"Probably," Denise replied, unsure.

"Just follow my lead," he assured the pair, giving a wink.

The three stepped into the main foyer, where several armored unicorns were levitating changeling bodies into the back of a cart, while several other guards took took notes on the crime scene.

"Mr. Fancypants?" called one of the guards, a larger one with fancier armor, who carried himself with an air of importance- or pompousness.

"Sergeant," Fancypants replied with a nod, "Will there be any more questions?"

"I'd just like to confirm these two's identities- who did you say they were again?"

"Ah, yes.  These fine ponies are my new bodyguards- dangerous times, you see, what with these changelings.  As for their names..."

He glanced to them, unsure.

"... well, I suppose I'll let them introduce themselves."

Denise mentally cursed- she hadn't had time to think of that, and Con certainly hadn't either-

"Carbon Copy, pleasure to meet you."

... Well, never mind then.

"And you, ma'am?"

Denise's mind rushed- she needed to think up a name that fit, and fast.  She had chosen a flag for her cutie-mark, for no particular reason- she had to work with that.  What would flags stand for?  Unity?

"... Rally Cry."

Yeah, that would work.

"Right, then," the Sergeant replied, "You two been working for Mr. Fancypants long?"

The duo glanced to eachother, then Fancypants, and smirked.

"... Just started today."

The guards didn't stay long- with so little left for them to do, they were eager to get back to their regular duties.  They cleaned up the bodies, collected their evidence (mostly the weapons the robbers had used), and left the former humans alone with their new 'employers'.

Strangely, both Fancypants and Fleur had 'neglected' to mention the sewer entrance in the wine cellar- not wanting to leave their newfound friends without the way they had come in, nor for the guards to worry about the potential risk it posed.

"Well," Fancypants proclaimed, "now that all that's settled, how about we head off to the lounge and get acquainted.  As much as I appreciate the rescue, I'm afraid Fleur and I still know very little about you."

Denise sighed.  This was it.

"Con?  I think you should take this."

She knew Con was more into the show than she was- if anyone could explain their situation, it was him.

Con practically lit up with excitement at this, practically bouncing up the stairs towards the lounge...

~~~~~

The explanation had gone...  Rather smoothly, actually.

It had lasted long into the night, with both Fancypants and Fleur listening intently.  Questions arose, naturally, but the nobles seemed to take the news in stride- Fancypants moreso than his wife- and Con had done a surprisingly good job at weaving the explanation, including only the right details, and coming up with some very clever explanations for some of the more complex parts of their world.  Overall, the ponies seemed to accept their explanation- they were shocked, naturally, but seemed to believe the duo's story.

"... then we found our way to the wine cellar, and- well, you know what happened from there."

"That's- well, it's unbelievable, but I suppose it makes sense," Fleur replied, shocked, "It would explain why those changelings attacked you.  Perhaps they could tell you were- what did you call yourselves?  Humans?"

"I must say, it's quite the the story," Fancypants replied, sipping from a glass of expensive wine, "Though I must admit, something about your story seems familiar to me...  I seem to recall encountering something similar to what you described yourselves as, 'humans', in my studies of ancient mythology- I'll have to do some research, but I may be able to help answer some of your questions."

"Wait, really?" Denise gasped, hoping she may finally be able to find some answers.

"Maybe," Fancypants clarified, "I somehow doubt I'll find anything pertaining to you two specifically, but there may be some clues hidden in your kind's history."

"Thank you," she sighed, "You have no idea what this means to us- this whole day has been so... jacked up.  I just want something to make sense for once."

"Well, don't worry," Fleur assured the pair, "We have plenty of room in the mansion- you can stay as long as you like.  It's the least we can do."

Denise glanced to Con, who was positively beaming at the whole situation.  She smiled- at least he was having a good time.  Now that things had calmed down, she had time to think about their situation- and consequently, realized that she knew nothing about their situation.  They were lost, tired, and had been robbed of their very humanity by the single creepiest being in the universe.  Denise was lucky she was still breathing.

As Fleur lead them to the guest bedrooms, Denise silently counted her blessings- she had shelter, friends, and most importantly- she was still sane.  The events of today would have broken just about anyone else, she was sure- but she and Con had made it out on top.

She smiled.  For the first time since Denise had left prison, things were looking up...