Under Construction

o/`I feel like everybody else

just needs to see through different eyes,

from the outside looking in,

we shout the anthem of our lives... o/`

Zebrahead - Anthem

Chapter 4

Get This Party Started

I woke up with the usual yawn and stretch, the sun shining through my open bedroom door on this beautiful Saturday morning. A quick check of my phone told me it was just after 9:15 on Saturday. Good, I didn't really feel like running into work late. This also gave me a couple days to figure out how to break the news of my new roommate to buddies. Almost everyone at the garage knew I would have to pay Cashmere a shit-ton of cash or move out by this weekend. However, none of them seemed to care enough to offer me a place to crash if I couldn't pull it off. I laid in bed for a while, watching Merlin roll back and forth at the foot of the bed. He seemed to take kindly to Autumn already. Maybe he felt something good about her. Maybe this little arrangement would work out OK. Yeah, fingers crossed, right?

I closed my door the rest of the way, making sure to keep out of sight in case she was walking by. I threw on a pair of jeans and some socks, grabbing a old red t-shirt from the closet. Quietly, I peeked out my door. Both the blanket and Autumn were gone. I leaned a little farther out my door and peeked toward her room. It was wide open, but Autumn wasn't on the bed. Alright, now I'm worrying. Where did that little orange firecracker go, now?

“Autumn? Hey, Autumn, you here?” I yelled, hopping out of my bedroom as I slipped my belt on. God, tell me she didn't go out by herself! Who knows what the rest of the building would think of her, let alone some of the characters that live around here. Just as I was about to run out into the street screaming her name, a bouncy blue mane poked up from behind the island in my kitchen.

“Morning, Jeremy! Have you been up long?” My eyes went wide, the smell of baked goods and various ingredients suddenly hitting my nose. On the counter behind her sat one of my plates, stacked at least 9 inches high with pancakes, two tall glasses of orange juice and my butter and syrup bottle sitting next to it.

“So...” I started, half curious, half dreading the answer.  “... feeling a little hungry, huh? What's with all this?” Was THIS the average pony appetite? I'd be broke again in a few days if it was! Autumn just gave a quiet giggle, shutting the cabinet to the island.

“Yeah, I guess I went a little overboard on the pancakes. I hope I made enough for you. I still don't know exactly how much humans eat in a sitting.” Jaw, meet Floor. Floor, Jaw. You two get along, now.

“Wait, you made these all for me? You actually... made homemade pancakes for me?” Autumn turned back to the pancakes, taking the edge of the plate between her teeth and placing it on the island. I walked over and sat down on one of my diner-style stools around the island, looking them over as she brought over the butter and syrup in the same manner. I quickly slipped on my shirt as I waited for her to join me.

“Well, I actually had to go down and talk to Mr. Cashmere to get most of the ingredients. He was really nice about it, too. I looked in a few cupboards, but just couldn't even find the basic stuff I needed. I was thinking we'd share, but you can take as many as you like. I could always make more.” she said with a smile, placing the glasses of OJ on the island, using her hooves this time.

“Sure! Of course, girl! Grab a couple of plates and let's dig in.” The pegasus nodded, flapping her wings to gain enough height to take two more plates from the top cupboard, this time with her hooves. She placed them on the island, then got us each a fork and knife from the utensil drawer. She hopped up on the stool opposite me, hoofing over my silverware. Eagerly, I took three pancakes for myself, then forked over three to her. Wow, these things were HUGE! They almost totally covered my plate! I looked over at the counter again, finding a pan and mixing bowl in the strainer beside the sink. She really DID make these. Dang... nobody's ever made me pancakes, before. Unless you count Aunt Jemima.

“So, what's all this for, anyway?” I asked, buttering up the top pancake. I watched, trying to contain my smile as Autumn squeezed out a huge glob of syrup from the bottle between her hooves. After minimal success, she placed it back on the counter and opting to take it in her mouth. To my surprise, she was much more dexterous manipulating it that way then with her hooves. Go figure. She placed is back down and pushed it over to me before taking the butter. This time, she used her hoofspace' to hold the knife.

“I just wanted to mark my first official day living as a guest in your world with something special. I know last night... really wasn't the best of first impressions.” I took the butter container from her, noticing her eyes trying to look anywhere besides at me right now.

“Hey, it wasn't my proudest moment, as I'm sure it wasn't yours, either. Let's just forget all about it. We got plenty of time to make up for that, anyways.” My GOD, these pancakes are PHENOMANAL! How did she ever learn to cook like this? I found myself polishing off the three I had taken in record time before going back for two more.

“Great! Because I was thinking about that.” she said, taking a sip of her juice. “Like I mentioned last night, I want to contribute as much as I can while I live here. So, let's get started right away. I'd like for you to take me to a human market.” I almost did a spit take when I heard this. Go to a market?!

“Go to a market? Like, go TODAY?” She nodded and smiled, eyes bright with hope. This little pony girl, out and about in Boston. Like... around other HUMANS?! Oh, boy... I swallowed hard my bite of food, washing it down with my OJ as I tried to word this as careful as possible.

“Alright... I'll take you out to a market. Well, actually they're called grocery stores, here. But there's something you should know, before we go.” Her ears perked up, her face never losing that smile. “Autumn,” I started carefully. “humans are... well... weird.” She tilted her head, not really sure where I was going with this. “Well, humans... are kinda afraid of new things.”

“Well, what do you mean?” she asked innocently, her tail swishing back and forth behind her. Oh hell, this is so difficult.

“Well, remember that moment last night that I said I wasn't too proud of? Yeah, there's humans out there that would respond a LOT worse than I did to being around a pony from another world.” Her ears and wings drooped as I said this, her look changing from one of excitement to worry.

“So, there's humans that would not like me, just because I'm a pony?” Her voice had an obvious tinge of fear to it as she traced her fork on the plate in front of her. “But... I never did anything to any human. A-and I'm here with permission from the U.S. Government on a student visa, and-”

“And humans are naturally afraid or wary of things they don't know much about.” I interrupted. “I mean, we have trouble just getting along with OURSELVES, most of the time, let alone a talking pony from another world.” I could almost see her mood deflate in front of me. And the saddest thing was I was only telling the truth. I pushed my plate aside, leaning over the island and placing my hand over her hoof in an attempt to comfort her.(wait, did I really just DO that?) “Look, not every human will be like that. As you spend time on Earth Alpha, you're gonna meet TONS of sweet, funny, happy, kind humans who will want nothing more to be your friend. But I just had to give you that warning before we even set out, alright? I wouldn't want you to go out into my world unprepared and be taken by surprise.” Slowly, her ears rose up again, a weak smile slowly returning.

“Well... ponies have been like that too, in the past. Even showing animosity towards each other, merely because we belonged to different tribes. I guess it would kinda be expected, your race being the only sentient one on the planet, and all. You'd have natural inclinations against warming up to an alien species. After all, that would encroach on your specie's status as the dominant life form on the planet, in effect threatening the superiority status that you've enjoyed since the beginning of your civilization.” I almost had to ask Autumn to repeat that before remembering she was here to study psychology. In one sentence, she managed to analyze and explain perfectly exactly what I was trying so clumsily to express. With a sigh, she went back to finishing her breakfast, washing down the final bite with the last swig of juice. “I know not every human I meet here will be like that, though. So I'll just have to try extra hard to win those ones over, is all.” She hopped down off the stool, taking her plate and glass and putting them in the sink before trotting back to her room. Quickly, I wolfed down the last few bites, jumping up to follow her.

“So...” I finally asked. “when would you like to go? I'm off all day today, so anytime is good for me.” She walked over to her little double-purse thing hanging on the wall, taking it off it's hook and putting it on her back. She adjusted the two sides so the purse parts were over her mid-section on both sides, then trotted back out of her room.

“I'm ready whenever you are, Jeremy. Just say the word.” I felt a sense of dread sneaking into my mind as I looked over the smiling pony before me. Woo, boy... I hope this ends well...

***

After a quick brush of the teeth and tie of the sneaks, I was ready to go. Grabbing my phone, keys and wallet from the coffee table, I headed to the elevator with my equine companion close behind. Oh, by the way; Autumn explained to me that little double purse she wore was called a 'saddle bag.' It was the usual accessory for the busy 'mare' about town, serving not only as a way to carry their money(interestingly enough called 'bits'), but also doubling as a shopping bag. Hey, whatever works. It's cute to see that even girls in other dimensions like to accessorize.

We exited the elevator and made our to the back entrance of the building, exiting the doors into the tenant parking lot. My truck sat where I left it, half hidden by the movers van that brought Autumn's stuff yesterday. My beat-up old 2012 Nissan Frontier, colored a beautiful mix of the original forest green, bondo and primer. It wasn't such a bad truck, being more than ten years old and all. It just served it's purpose. Autumn seemed particularly impressed by it, walking around it with a sense of awe.

“So... how do you get in?” she asked, innocently eying up one of the tires. I pulled out the key fob and clicked the door unlock button.

“What, you never road in a motor vehicle before?” She took a step back as the locks popped up, slowly shaking her head at my question. “Well, how in the hel... how the heck did you make all the way to Boston? How have you been getting around?”

“Um... pegasus?” she said, raising and waving her left wing at me. “I just followed the vehicle of whoever I was supposed to be with.” My hand stopped in mid aid as I reached for the door handle.

“What?! So... you flew here from whatever portal you came through-”

“The one in your New York City.” she added quickly.

“NEW YORK?! You FLEW all the way HERE from New York, never sitting in a car or truck?!” She nodded, ears folding back as her expression changed.

“That's right. Did I... was that wrong?” Your getting loud again, Corbin. Dial it back a shade. I ran my hand over my face in exasperation.

“No, no... It's just, well... kinda shocking. Sorry. So, this will be your first time in a truck, then? Perfect.” I walked over to the passenger side and opened the door for her, the little pony examining the interior with wonder before she got in. Admittedly, a human vehicle isn't very ergonomically designed for the equine form. But, with a little coaxing and cry of 'Oh, horseapples!', she finally managed to get in, sitting on her rump with her hind legs hanging over the front of the seat.

“Alright! I'm in.” she said, dangling her legs slightly. “It's a little... awkward, but I'll manage. Ready to go?” I didn't give her an answer. Instead, I just reached back and took my seat belt, waving it at her before I buckled it. She understood what I meant, reaching back and taking her own with her hoof and pulling it down across herself. However, try as she might, Autumn just couldn't seem to buckle the two ends together. Whether it was because the concept of a seat belt was just too new to her or that her hooves were a little too big to manage it, I couldn't say. After a few attempts, I decided it was time to help.

“Here, give me that thing.” I reached down, grabbing her gently by the hoof holding the latch. Slowly, I guided it down to her other hoof holding the buckle, connecting the two ends with a click. “There. Done. Now we're ready.” I looked up at her face, noticing a slight hint of redness in her cheeks. I looked down at my hands, blushing slightly as I noticed they were still lightly holding her two hooves.

“Um... shouldn't you be using those to... operate your truck-thingy?” she asked innocently. Quickly, I released her hooves and threw my hands back on the wheel. With a quick turn of the key, I started the truck. With a cautionary warning of 'Hold on.”, we were off.

***

Now I've been told on more than one occasion that my driving skills leave much to be desired in the area of comfort. Such as to say, I regularly drive like a maniac. So, having me be the human to give our fine feathered friend here her first ride in an automobile was probably not the best of ideas. It was only a few short streets an a couple of turns until we were on the highway. Cars merged and passed, entering and exiting all around us as Autumn's hooves slowly started turning white. The expression on her face was a mix of total fear and panicked confusion, her head barely moving as her eyes darted back and forth from one window to the next, hooves pressed tightly against my dashboard.

“Something the matter, Autumn?” I asked with a smile. The young mare managed to form words enough to try to explain her currently developing heart attack.

“Um... y-yeah. Are you-” Autumn started to ask me something, only to be quickly cut off by someone riding a crotch rocket, passing us on the right. She quickly leaned over, almost on top of me as she drew in a sharp breath. “Holy horseapples! Is driving in a vehicle like this ALWAYS so dangerous? I feel like we could be crush any moment!”

“Whoa there, lil' pony. There's nothing wrong with my driving.” Wait. I probably shouldn't tell her that. She might be afraid to get in the car with any other human ever is she thinks THIS is normal driving. Scanning up ahead, I noticed an exit quickly approaching. It was 2 whole exits earlier than where I was headed, but under the circumstances, I though it wise to take it. “Look, how about I get us off the highway? I think this was a mistake to bring you here for your first taste of human transportation, anyway.” Without waiting for an answer, I flipped on the blinker and took the turn, bringing us to a quiet, suburban street, almost void of early morning traffic. As we slowed to a stop at the first intersection, I could almost sense the tension lifting off Autumn's shoulders, the mare visibly relaxing in the calmer driving environment.

“Whew... thanks, Jeremy.” She said, breathing out a sigh of relief. “All those other vehicles around us had me on edge. I needed to get off that big road with all that noise and high speeds.” The orange pony finally relaxed in her seat, allowing her hooves to fall to her side, the imprint of the two still lasting in my vinyl dashboard.

“What do you mean 'had you on edge?' Don't you fly thousands of feet in the air with those wings of yours?” I asked.

“Well, yeah. But I'm in control of everything when I'm flying. I can trust that in myself that I won't let me fall or get blown out of the sky.” I gave her a sideways look, Autumn quickly acting to correct the iffy statement. “Not that I don't trust you! It's just that... wall, think of it this way; I'm strapped into this big, metal box, rolling along the ground at high speeds, surrounded by hundreds of other little metal boxes that could slam into us at any time and I could do nothing about it.”

“Well,” I said, tilting my head slightly. “you DO have a point, when you put it that way. But believe you me, girl; humans do NOT want to knock their cars and trucks off each other if they can help it. Not only will it hurt if they drive careless and crash into someone else, but cars cost A LOT of money to fix. Anyways, sorry for taking that way, anyhow. I'll stick to the suburban streets until your more used to vehicular travel.” My words were met only with silence, Autumn seeming to not pay any attention to me. I glanced over, noticing her put a hoof to the window as she looked out at the street. People were walking around, going in and out of stores. Cars were entering and exiting the street, pulling in and out of parking lots. Occasionally, some happy motorist would look over at us, then do a double take before the car behind them would honk. Autumn seemed fascinated by the scene outside, almost pressing her muzzle to the glass as she tried to take it all in at once. Without asking her, I hit the button on my door and lowered her window, allowing her a more unobstructed view of an average human neighborhood. She seemed so amazed by our world, already. Still, I knew almost next to nothing about hers. I figured now was as good a time as any to start finding out more.

“So... do you mind if I ask you something, Autumn?” I started. Turning my head, I noticed her waving a hoof at 2 little girls playing with their scooters on the sidewalk, the girls waving back with huge smiles as we pulled away.

“Oh. Yeah, sure thing. What is it?”

“I noticed something during breakfast. You... kinda used your... mouth to hold the one plate and the syrup bottle. But you used your hoofspace to hold the fork and knife. Are there something you can't hold in hoofspace, or what?” She gave me a puzzled look, then giggled softly.

“No, ponies could hold anything they want in their hoofspace. We just find it easier sometimes to hold things in our mouths, that's all.” Ya know, despite the good breakfast, my mind is still too tired to fully comprehend this chick. My expression must have conveyed that, Autumn rolling her eyes as she continued. “Ponies walk on all four hooves at all times. Sometimes, they may be too dirty to handle some items. Sometimes, we may need to hold something while we're walking around. And sometimes, we just might not want to put the extra effort into concentrating that hard. In fact, every little colt and filly is taught to mouth-write before anything else.”

“'Mouth-write?'” I asked. “Like, writing... with your mouth? Like holding a pen in your mouth, 'mouth-writing?'” Casually, Autumn reached down to an old, discarded envelop from a check stub on the floor of the truck. She reached a hoof down to a pen I had in a cup holder and held it up, taking it between her teeth. Placing the envelope on the dash, she leaned forward, the pen poking back and forth out of her mouth as it traced across the paper. When she was done, she hoofed it over to me, the words in black ink reading, 'Yep. I mean writing with your mouth.'

“Isn't that a little unsanitary? I mean, don't you ponies have germs where you come from?” Seriously, I have no idea if they did or not. That was a legitimate question.

“Well, yeah. But our world is mostly free of germs that cause illness. Your scientists tested our immune systems and found out our white blood cells are much, much smaller than yours. They actually act in much the same way that viruses on your world do, entering germs and eliminating them from the inside out. As a result, we hardly ever get sick. Sure, there's some species or tribe specific sicknesses, like feather flu or horn rot, but nothing very communicable. Our immune system just won't allow us to get sick.” I looked her way, noticing a semi pull beside us as we stopped at a light. I could see the massive trucker in the cab looking down on us, his cigarette falling from his lips onto his lap as he stared in disbelief at my passenger. The light turned green just as he started trying to put his lap out.

“Tribe specific? What do you mean tribe?” I asked, turning a corner as I watched the trucker jump out of his Pererbilt and rapidly slap at his crotch.

“Yep. Tribes refers to the 3 different classes of ponies: Unicorn, earth ponies and pegasi. You might say on this world that we're all different species, but we traditionally refer to the three as tribes.” Autumn paused for a moment, looking almost troubled as she started getting lost in thought. “Jeremy? You mentioned that humans can be... not so nice when meeting those different than themselves. What... would they do, i-if they felt resentment strong enough towards me?” Oh, no. I think I really scared her with that warning. Nice, punk rock.

“Oh. Um... usually, just make say nasty things, call names. But nowadays, most humans know better than to act that ignorant. At least in public.” I could see that my attempt to calm her wasn't really working. Put a lid on this, Jer, you're not helping.  “Ya know what? You shouldn't have anything to worry about. Just stick with me, and you'll be fine.” A reassured smiled played across her lips as we turned the corner, our destination finally coming into view. The South Side shopping center.

The massive, multilayer mall complex consisted of several large chain grocery, department and  clothing stores, interconnecting through a series of wide hallways, escalators and elevators. The halls were peppered with every type of store you could imagine, their specialties ranging from hunting to video games to coffee shops to dozens more. Though there were several entrances to the huge complex, I chose to enter and park in front of 'Nature's Bounty,' a large chain grocery store off of one of the mall's tentacle hallways. There was even an open entryway to the mall out the back of the store. Hindsight being 20/20, I guess total immersion into human society might NOT have been the best way to get Autumn used to our world. I parked the truck outside the store, halfway down the lot. As Autumn and I started making our way to the store, I could already feel other people stopping and staring as we passed. Autumn, for her part, didn't seem to notice, the mare almost skipping as we reached the front of the store and walked in.

Taking a cart, I reminded my furry little friend that humans were omnivores, and that this was a grocery store... with meat in it. Autumn took a moment to center herself, then trotted up next to me as we headed for the produce/deli department. Despite putting me and the cart between her and the meat counter, I could still notice a few nervous looks Autumn cast sideways towards the deli case. After a few quick glances, followed quickly by a sharp turning away, she decided to focus more on the fruits and veggies we walked past. By the time we reached the end of that section of store, my cart was almost half-full with fresh produce.

With that obstacle behind us, Autumn and I were free to pursue what we had originally came for; observe and learn about normal human activities throughout an average day. We scanned up and down the aisles, every now and then stopping as I explained a food product to my companion. She seemed really interested in the ingredient aisle, looking carefully over bags of flour and sugar before tossing her choice in the cart. We made our way through the entire store that way, the regular customers actually paying less mind to us than I thought. Apparently, ponies have been on the news so much by this time, that the appearance of one in the local grocery store didn't seem to bother many people. Still, I had to keep from laughing as one particular old woman walked her shopping cart into a display of parmesan cheese containers. I was going to ignore it, until I noticed Autumn stop and trot over to her. Surprisingly, the little mare started helping the old woman pick up the several dozen little plastic containers. Even more surprising was that the old woman seemed actually really grateful for the help! I turned back and offered my support in the form of unfolding the collapsed display and setting it upright again.

With our cart full and our shopping finally finished, we headed to the back of store. The few registers on the mall entrance of Nature's Bounty were almost always open and free of lines. As per usual, they did not disappoint, only one other customer in each of the three open registers before us. Taking a place in the line that seemed like it would clear soonest, we waited to get checked out. Or should I say, 'I' waited to get checked out. Autumn, on the other hoof(God, don't tell me I'm gonna start replacing foot and hand with hoof, now) trotted slowly towards the open entrance to the mall, seemingly mesmerized by the world within. Be it the multiple store windows with their flashing lights  or the mid-tempo smooth jazz playing softly over the intercom, I couldn't tell, but something definitely had her amazed.

“Autumn,” I called from my place in line. The little pony quickly turned back to me, her ears perking up at the sound of my voice. “don't even think about it. We're done for the day. Let's check out and get going.”

“What?” she said, almost sounding disappointed. “But... just LOOK at that out there! You could almost fit all of  Canterlot palace in there! Can't we go and check it out next?” Now, I hate to be a fun-scrooge, but at this stage in Autumn's 'tutoring,' taking her into the mall would be a BAD idea. First of all, it's crowded. The moving herds of people are usually shoulder to shoulder, and it would be too easy for her to get lost in the shuffle. Secondly, too many teenagers. Not that there's anything WRONG with teens. Hell, I'm barely out of that category myself. But kids in this mall usually tend to go a little... nuts. Parkour up and down the escalators, teasing random shoppers, impromptu food court food fights... Ah, memories. Fun as they were for me, that is NOT what Autumn needs to experience her first time in a human store. I motioned with my finger for her to rejoin me in line, the disappointed mare slowly trotting back.

“Jeremy?” A familiar voice spoke my name from an aisle behind me, prompting me to turn away from Autumn for a moment. There, stocking shelves in the snack food aisle, was a tall, straight-haired, big tittied blond bimbo I quickly recognized. Erica's old BFF, Tammy. Damnit! I forgot she worked at this store! Oh, God, please give me an aneurism right now! As usual, God chose to ignore my request, sending me help in the form of a customer. As soon as Tammy tossed her hand up in an annoying wave, a burly, bearded motorcycle papa holding a weekly circular tapped her on the shoulder. Good, just the distraction I needed!

“Autumn, do you think you're ready for your first monetary transaction in another dimension?” I asked quickly, causing her to tilt her head and give me a strange look.

“Um... sure. How do I do that?” I pulled my wallet out by the chain, catching it in one hand as I pushed the cart forward. The man in line in front of us was finished and already walking away, giving me the perfect excuse to distract Autumn from what I had to do.

“Here, you can use this.” I reached into my wallet and pulled out my bank card. Reaching down, I picked her hoof up, placing the little piece of plastic in the flat of her hoof. With all the money Autumn saved me by paying my rent, I now had more than enough to get three time this order, easily. “Put the food and stuff on the counter. The conveyer will carry it down to the cashier, and she'll scan it to get the total amount for our order. When she's done and she gives you the total cost, just give her the card. She'll give it back to you with a little piece of paper and boom, all done. Think you can handle that?” Autumn's face suddenly dropped, the pony looking visibly unsure of herself to complete this task. “Trust me, you'll do fine. Be right back!” With those words of encouragement, I left the orange mare standing at the register with a clueless look.

The biker-looking customer was just walking way as I made my way over to Tammy, the same ditzy look on her face as always. Tammy was an old friend of Erica's from high school. Thus, making her a friend of mine, by proxy. Through our break up, Tammy played both sides of the fence, passing messages between Erica and I and delivering us items we left at each others houses. I'm sure whatever bitching I did to her, she went right back and told Erica. Hell, she did that whenever Erica bitched to her about ME. But, when she told me she didn't want to talk to Erica anymore and sympathized more with me throughout the whole ordeal, I actually believed her. Tammy was many things, but a liar was not one of them. Too bad one of those things she was was a huge gossiper. If she saw me with Autumn before I had a chance to explain, it's be all over SpaceBook in 10 seconds flat.

“Hey, Jeremy! How ya doing?” Great, small talk. I can fake that.

“Not too bad, Tammy. Just making the weekly food run. Nothing too crazy.” I stood there awkwardly for a moment, unsure where to go with this conversation. Unfortunately, she turned it right where I didn't want it to go.

“I don't talk to Erica anymore, just so ya know.” Tammy looked away slightly, apparently not sure how I'd take the mentioning of my ex's name. “After what she did to you, she just got meaner and meaner. After a while, her phone calls and times we hung out got fewer and far between. Eventually, I just stopped contacting her, and she never tried to contact me. Guess we're not friends anymore.” Yeah, sounds like typical Erick bitch-isms. Still, it seemed to bother her bringing it up.

“Sorry to hear that. I know you two were close. Still, like me, you're probably better off without her in your life.” With that, Tams mood changed quickly back to her usual perky, bubbly self, smiling again in her trademark manner. Yeah, don't see her in almost a year and she's still the same old Tammy.

“So, who's your little pony friend ya got there?” Annnnnd there's the boom. Exactly the words I didn't wanna hear come out of her mouth. Why must life be one big, continuous kick in the balls? I chuckled off the question as I tried to formulate a quick excuse.

“Hehehe... hiya, Tams. My friend? That's, um... that's Autumn. She's an exchange student from Omega Earth. She's staying at my apartment with me while she's here.” WHY DID I SAY THAT?!?!?!?!?!?!WHY?!?!?!?! Damn you, diarrhea of the mouth! Tammy gave me that 'Oh, really?' face, raising an eyebrow as she nodded. Apparently she didn't pick up on my personal mental torment, looking at me blankly as she tried to formulate her next question.

“Oh, wow. That's pretty cool. You're pretty lucky, Jeremy.” Alrighty. Scanning statement for sarcasm... scanning... scanning... it's clean? Wow... “I heard only a handful of creatures from Omega came to the U.S. to study in our world. I'm totally jealous, right now.” I can't believe this little dizzy blond actually sounds accurately informed. “So, what's it like, living with one of those ponies?” I scratched the back of my head, laughing a bit.

“Heh. Can't honestly tell ya yet. This is only her second day in our world. She doesn't really know much about our world, so I brought her here to expose her to some human culture.” I mused, trying to sound like the goofy teenager I was that kept her and the rest of Erica's friends laughing in high school.

“So, are you like, a brony now?” Tammy asked, leaning forward as she spoke in a softer tone.

“What? What the hell's a 'brony?'” I asked. Tams gave me roll of her eyes, stepping closer as she checked if anyone was nearby.

“It's apparently a play on the words 'bro' and 'pony,' but it's kinda all-encompassing. Basically, it refers to a human guy that has the hots for a creature from Omega Earth.”

“Wha....I....tha.... WHAT?!” I almost screamed when I heard that, quickly stopping my shout before it was heard throughout the entire store. I rushed up to Tammy and ushered her into the aisle further, hopefully out of Autumn's earshot. I still don't know exactly how much those pointy ears of hers can pick up. When we were out of view of the registers, I started my protest. “How could you even THINK that?! She's a pony, for God's sake! I mean... how would that even WORK?”

“What? I'm not accusing you of anything.” she said defensively. “It just seems to be happening a lot with humans that have close contact with these creatures. Wanna know what human women are called when they fall for an Omega creature?” I kept my shocked look on my face, not answering. “Pegasisters! Isn't that wild?”

“Yeah. Real wild.” I said, deadpan. “Look, she's nice and all, but I'm not looking for anyone right now, let alone someone outside my species.”

“Fine, fine. I was just asking. So...” Tammy leaned in close again, a big grin forming on her face. “... can I meet her?” Ya know, my face is gonna get tired from using my 'shocked' expression so much lately. “C'mon, Jeremy. Please? I wanted to meet an Omega Earth being since I first saw them on the news. Please..?” Oh, damnit. What is it about pretty girls that makes me fold like a lawn chair?

“Fine. You can meet her. BUT...” I said, raising up an index finger. “... do NOT mention Erica, in any way, shape or form, understand? I don't wanna have to explain my failed relationship to an alien, alright?” Tammy put on a mock-serious face, saluting me as she stood up straight. Damn, I hope this ends well. Together, we walked to the end of the aisle back to the registers and Autumn. As we reached the end, I bumped almost face first into a young cashier, a startled look on her face as she looked up at me.

“Oh! Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I was just looking for you. Here.” She reached into her shirt pocket and pulled out my bank card, handing it to me in a hurry before trying to sprint away. If it wasn't for Tammy reaching out and grabbing her arm, the agitated younger girl would have made a clean getaway.

“Whoa, Beth! Where you going? Didn't you just get back from break? Did you close your register?” The girl's eyes darted back and forth, looking for any excuse to escape.

“Well, I, um... have... to... go to the little girl's room, again. Cramps, time of the month, gotta go, see ya.” 'Beth' made an attempt to get out of Tammy's hold again, my friend refusing to let go until she found out the reason for her co-worker's erratic actions. It was at this time that I finally recognized the girl. Not 3 minutes ago, I left Autumn standing in her line. She just handed me my bank card. Why didn't Autumn bring it back. Ohhhhh..... fuck. I turned and ran back to the register, looking for my shopping companion. The plastic light above the register was out, a metal chain with a sign reading 'Closed' hanging across the entrance to the line. There, sitting unattended, was my shopping cart, with Autumn nowhere to be found. I ran back over to Tammy and the cashier like a freight train, stopping just before I could flatten the girl.

“Alright, you little brat! Where's the pony?!” I grabbed her by the shoulder, shaking her a little with every fury-laced word. Beth just stood there in shock, seemingly not able to form coherent thought. “Where is she? Why did you have my bank card? I swear to GOD, if you don't tell me, they're gonna have to carry us BOTH outta here!” Tammy just stood there in stunned silence as I interrogated her subordinate, knowing better than to get in my way when I got angry. Slowly, Beth composed herself enough to stutter out an answer.

“I j-just looked up from my drawer and saw her standing there with her hands... paws, whatever on the conveyer. I never saw one of t-those aliens before. I-I panicked. I told her I was g-going on break and closing the register down. She asked me to hold on to your card and if it was OK if she left the cart there.”

“Why? Where did she go?!” The cashier turned her eyes behind me, causing me to look as well. Oh, no. Are you serious? A sort of silent panic attack coming over me. I knew this wouldn't end well.

“S-she told me she was going to... check out the mall.”

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This would have been uploaded more than a week ago, except I didn't like where it would have headed. So, I re-wrote about 7 pages of text in a way that helped move the story along in a more workable manner. I already got the next chapter in my head, it's just a matter of typing it out. Stay tuned, kiddies, there's more madness to come. T.T.F.N. - Ta-Ta for now. LIke, favorite, watch and comment as always. see ya soon!