Sugar Rush: A Half-Hour Story

Pinkie Pie while on the island had continued to consume massive amounts of sugar from the sugar cane they grew there, and she continued to consume it while they sailed back towards the Equestrian Sea Board. While they sailed, Pinkie taught her armada how to use the thousands of party cannons she had personally forged out of metals they had acquired from their vast trading empire. By the time they arrived in Equestrian waters five days later, her ponies were a fierce well-trained fighting machine. She issued an ultimatum: Equestria surrender unconditionally, or she would make it rain, and she wasn't talking about bills and strippers. Celestia of course laughed it off, and her friend begged her to reconsider, but Pinkie would not listen. She ordered her ship-of-the-line (where the term "battleship" comes from, from the longer phrase "ship of the battle line") to line up outside Manehattan and lifted up the flags that spelled out the famous message: "Gummy Expects that every pony do their duty". Then she ordered them to fire, and a fierce broadside rang out from thousands of guns on hundreds of ships. Fire seemed to rain from the sky, as the Equestrian navy and Manehattan skyscrapers fell in crumbling shattered infernos. It looked like a scene from Hades as the once proud metropolis was pounded into submission. It was really bad, and a lot of ponies died. The Wonderbolts and other pegasi tried to attack from the skies, but while on the Island Pinkie had also invented radar and proximity fuses and auto-targeting anti-aircraft guns, and the ponies and zeppelins were chewed up like a tiger chews up a pony. Ugh, nasty. A third of the ships then sailed down the chesafreak bay into the HUBson (get it it's a pun on the old Hasbro television channel, RIP) river and started raining terror further inland, while the rest of the fleet set off south down the coast to cripple Equestria's merchant marine and ability to trade and a lot of other stuff. It's like what Hitler had wished had happened eventually in the battle of Britain, but fortunately that never came to pass because fuck Nazis.

Then once Pinkie and her navy had demolished the coast, they disembarked and...