Hold On

• The next day -

~Em~

I wake up to the sound of my mom slamming the door. Guess she's off to work. I'm still on the floor covered in my own blood, half dry half still fresh.

I try to get myself up and to my delight I succeeded. I hobbled over to the couch holding my arm over my bruised stomach and lay down.

I look at my phone,

[10:00am]

Instagram: 1 follow notification

"Shit I'm late for school!" I say out loud even though nobody's home.

I wince and sharply inhale as I get up, try to get dressed and look as if I didn't just get beaten to death by a UFC fighter.

On my walk to school I decide to check that notification. I open it and see that it's from that Rainbow kid in my English class.

Why does she want to follow me?

I accept the follow and shove my phone back into my pocket as I enter the hell of a high school. God, I'm so glad I only have 1 more year of this.

I enter my English class and all eyes are on me. I toss the excuse note on the teacher’s desk and quickly sit down.

Rainbow took notice of the dark blue and black bruises on my face. How do I know this? I heard her gasp. She's been trying to talk to me since I came to this school but I have no interest. Who would want to talk to me? And why her of all people? She's probably reeling me in and then when I give her my trust, BAM! That's when she'll become a back stabbing bully just like everyone else.

"Em, Jesus are you okay?!" She whisper yelled.

"Leave me alone Rainbow." I firmly say.

"Em please tell me, I'm trying to be your friend."

"I. said. leave. me. alone." I said as I clenched my teeth.

*Ring!!*

I grab my things and bolt to the girl’s bathroom. All the while avoiding Rainbow even though I hear her calling my name to come back.

I push open a stall and lock it, sitting on the toilet seat and hugging my knees close to my chest.

Useless
Faggot
Pathetic
Worthless
Crazy
Psycho
Mental
Bitch
Unwanted
Kill yourself
Whore

I cry. I weep. I whimper.

I feel disgusted with myself so I get off the toilet and sit right up against it and force 2 fingers in the back of my throat to trigger my gag reflex.

I vomit.

I do the same thing again.

I vomit more.

I was about to do it again but I heard someone come in the room.

"Em?"

Great. Just what I need.Rainbow.

I wipe my fingers on my jeans and rest against the cold stall wall breathing heavily.

She comes to my stall door and knocks frantically on it.

"Em, please I beg you, open up."

I sigh and reach for the lock and unlock it then go back to the position I was in. She pushes the door open and gasps.

"Oh my god Em what happened?!"

Things start going through my head. I start hyperventilating and the whole room is spinning. I clutch my shirt by my chest since I can't breathe.

Panic attack.

I didn't even see it happen but Rainbow is now sitting by my side trying to calm me down. Why is she helping me? I don't deserve to be helped.

"Em, shhh you're okay, you're okay, I'm here. Just take deep breaths and think about something that makes you happy, shhh it's okay you're safe, I'm here" said Rainbow in a soothing voice.

Once I calmed down she asked me questions.

"Em, please, if you think I'm going to hurt you I'm not" she speaks softly while rubbing circles on my back.

I sigh, with a halfhearted chuckle I mumble, "That’s what they all say"

She gets in front of me not breaking eye contact,

"I would never hurt you on purpose, ever. Please I'm begging you, tell me what's wrong so I can help you, you're not alone in this Em, and nobody should be"

"Why do you care?! You barely know me! I'm nothing. I'm useless, I'm worthless, I should just die! I-" I break down and cry while Rainbow hugs me tight while rubbing her hand up and down on my back.

"C'mon, you aren't staying here like this. You're coming to my house so I can fix you up" Rainbow said as she helped me up and outside to her car.

Guess I have no choice but to accept her kindness.