Johnny Bravo in Equestria - RGRE

"-So Rarity, I was just thinking that for today, maybe, you could hold yourself back, refrain from some of your more... Coltish tendencies."

You scoff at the end of her bumbling rant, that was also trying to spare your feelings. It didn't work.

"Hmph, Twilight after all this time as my friend, you're seriously telling me to not be true to myself? Finally admitting you don't think I'm a 'real mare' are you? Just because I like fashion and spas? Just because I like romance and courtliness? Just be-"

"Rarity I'm not talking about any of that, that's perfectly fine. But when it comes to stallions you expect them to treat you like... Well, a stallion!"

You titter softly. "Oh darling you're exaggerating, and besides, I'm merely being a forward thinking, progressive mare, trying to make things more equal between the sexes."

She gives you a flat look. "Rarity most mares who want to treat stallions as equals do so by thinking they're just as capable as them, that they don't need to be coddled. Not to try and get their special treatment."

"Well then, isn't it lucky that there are a few mares like me seeking to grant such splendid treatment to us as well, rather than just wanting colts to become a bunch of marely brutes."

"....Rarity, you insisted that a Prince should open a door for you."

You turn your head to the side.

"Never the less, I refuse to lower my standards of etiquette when it comes to how I wish to-"

In turning your head, you also catch sight of Johnny in the other room. The handsome stallion, like something straight from a romance novel.

Well, not one of the mainstream romance novels with shy petite colts and strong experienced mares. Rather ones from your collection. Of an Equestria with the opposite gender roles. Of hunky alien visitors. Of Amazonian islands where stallions are thrice the normal size. Of scarred stallion knights in shining armour...

"Oh... Very well then, I suppose I could reign it in, if it might help Johnny to fall for a pony... Especially if that pony were to be me..." You sigh, resigning yourself to the fate of not demanding to be treated like the fairer sex for a day.

"Thanks Rarity, but don't worry, it won't seem too bad once you're actually with him. Seriously your mane could be on fire and everything would feel just perfect. Especially cuddled up in his arms..." She shivers softly. "Uh, anyway, have a great day!"

She leaves your residence and store. You let out a deep breath, and then spray a little perfume on your tuft, curl your eyelashes up some more, run a tube of sparkly pink lip gloss over your lips, and run several brushes through your mane and tail, before dressing yourself in your latest peach and fuchsia ensemble, a matching large hat and walking about town dress, and a stylized satchel of essentials for any well prepared mare.

You trot out with a spring in your step. "Monsieur Bravo, a pleasure to meet you again, you look positively lovely as usual." You bow towards him and tip your hat, meaning every word.

"Mademoiselle Belle, the pleasures all mine." He rolls his arm several times in front of him, before bringing it to his midsection and bowing low towards you.

You can't help but chuckle at the display, and fan your suddenly flush face with a hoof.

"O-oh Johnny, I didn't know you spoke Prench, or that you were so impeccably mannered... Well, I know things will go marvellously today then, as I'm going to be teaching you all about manners, chivalry, how one is supposed to treat a-"

"Oh don't you worry Miss Rarity, I know all about that."

Of course he'd be used to 'the babes' bending over backwards for him. "Well let us be going then my dear Johnny."

You smile as you approach the front door, about to open it and step aside for him to pass. But with lightning speed he gets there first, opens it, and bows his head while gesturing to the open door with his other muscular arm.

"After you Miss Rarity."

You giggle and stamp your hooves in place as a big smile breaks out over your face. "Oh Johnny you tease, such a charmer..."

You elegantly trot passed him and out into the big wide world, with him soon following. You can't shake the smile on your face, nor would you want to.

You take a deep breath, ready to throw a disarming compliment his way, colts love when they come out from the blue. Now what to pick, his mane, muscles, clothes?

"That outfit looks great on you, you must have spent a long time making it."

There's a hitch in your step as you blush lightly. "Oh why thank you darling, yes it's uh, something I'd been thinking about for a while now. To be honest I was a little worried all the fuss with the hemline wouldn't be worth it."

"Oh trust me, it was definitely worth it, you look like a million bits."

You giggle once again and try to shake the red from your cheeks and regain some poise. "Wh-why thank you Johnny I... Thank you ever so much."

Unless you're talking to someone explicitly about fashion, or one of your mare friends, it's rare that you ever get complimented. It's just not the done thing for a stallion to do. What you wouldn't give for the timberwolf whistles from builders the colts get so angry over.

"So Johnny, I was thinking of a spot of brunch, would you care to join me?"

"I'd be delighted." He answers with no hesitation.

You smile before feeling a light drop of moisture hit your muzzle. You scrunch up slightly before feeling another. Ah, a light shower, no matter. It merely gives you another chance to act like a proper gentlemare. As you begin to unfasten your satchel for your jewel encrusted brightly decorated umbrella, Johnny moves closer to you, your fur being lightly brushed with each step, as he holds out a huge black umbrella over the two of you. Where was he even hiding that?

"Oh my, thank you again Johnny, you're just full of surprises aren't you?" You titter as you feel so elated.

Did Twilight set this up without your knowing? Did he find one of your more choice romance novels in the boutique? Is he just naturally treating you so chivalrously when you're the one supposed to be treating him?

He shields the two of you from the pitter patter of the light rain as you head into a lovely little place you frequent. Once more he teases you by opening the door first and allowing you to enter. You head to a table after removing your hat, and wait for him to move opposite you, so you can move his seat out for him with your magic. But instead he strides up behind you, taking hold of a chair, and pulling it out FOR YOU.

"Th-thank you Johnny."

You take a seat, hoping he doesn't think poorly of your big marshmallow flank bulging out from your sides as you do so, and he tucks you in towards the table. While you're a little dazed from such chivalry, you're aware enough to still do the same for him as you had planned.

When the waiter; trying to make his ball bra jiggle to earn more bits, comes over after you've both had a moment to look at what's on offer, you wait for Johnny to order first.

"So what would you like Rarity?"

You half smile, giddy over the way things are going, but now starting to become a little wary as you're in public, over what others might think of you. Might they think you're taking advantage of him? Or that you're a stallion beater and he's behaving exactly as you want him to out of fear.

You quell those thoughts, and instead focus on having a lovely time with Johnny.

~~~~~~~~~~~

As you go to take out your purse, Johnny places a single stack of bits on the table. You knew that as he was in Celestias favour; to put it mildly, she had been sending him a stipend, but you never thought he would try paying for the meal.

"Oh Johnny, no no no you put that back, I'll pay for this." You try levitating the coins back to him, but he takes them from the air, and plants them back on the table.

"Sorry little lady but I insist, and when Johnny insists, ha, ho!" He flexes a few times as he steps quickly around the table.

"Nothing can stop him! He, ha!" In two movements, where you're pretty sure he must have teleported you it was so fast, his hands gently held around your body, and then you're stood in front of the door. With him holding it open once again, and your hat repositioned on your head.

"W-well, if you're absolutely sure Johnny, then thank you, that's very generous of you."

You hold your head up high as you trot outside to find the shower is over, but puddles remain, one directly in front of you down the steps. You'll show Johnny just how much you appreciate what he's been doing. Not just by being courtly, but by committing a great sacrifice...

You take a deep breath, closing your eyes as you unbutton the beautiful about town dress you had spent weeks on to get just right. Elegant and stylish, but still quite at home in a rural town.

As you steel yourself to take your dress off, and billow it out to float on top of the offending puddle below, opening your eyes you instead see Johnnys enormous black t-shirt on the ground. This would obviously be a strange sight in itself, and a first for Equestria...

Except what's more, Johnny's still wearing it, laying on his side, posing with his fist against his cheek. He's laying on the dirty ground, hiding the puddle that's soaking through his clothing, and yet he looks more model like and regal than anything you've seen in a fashion shoot with the greatest of settings.

You bite your lip as you look side to side, ponies along the street whispering to each other and giving you disapproving looks.

Oh... Oh to Tartarus with them! You hop up onto him, your tail brushing against his face before you hop back off. You're going to be the talk of the town for months. An evil stallion abusing mare. But the fantasies he's fuelled will last for decades.

Worth it.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The two of you relaxed in the park for a long while. Your elegance and refinery seemingly abandoned as you find yourself becoming a stuttering tittering little filly. He even picked for you the best flower he could find, and slid the stem into your mane.

Perhaps your last thoughts on what you felt like were wrong. Not just feeling like a little filly... You feel... Colty.

You blush and wriggle in your seat. He'd taken to gently holding your hoof as he spoke with you, until you decided to go somewhere else. Perhaps you weren't sure how you could wrap this up. Perhaps you wanted to try making it feel more like a date. Perhaps you wanted to admit your feelings to him in a way where you could deny them if he didn't reciprocate. But in the end, you decided on a karaoke place. You were going to sing for him 'When a mare loves a stallion', but just like the other times, he got there first.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lye2LuaNJXA (Oh let me be, your hot monkey)

And after the fire that broke out from the stampede of mares, you didn't get a chance to. Still, you had a splendid time bouncing in his arms, your lips perhaps not so subtly leaving a few pink marks upon his clothed chest, as he ran from the ruckus.

~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~

Oh dear, oh dear oh dear.

"What do you think you're doing huh?!"

You were making your way towards Twilights castle, before...

"W-well, um, you see there were these ducklings, a-and-"

"What?! I can't even hear you! Are you brain damaged or something?! What is wrong with you?!"

You keep backing up from the very large, very angry female Minotaur. She snorts, keeping pace with you, storming towards you as her hands clench and unfurl, then clench into fists again.

"I-I was j-just trying, trying to-"

"Do you think it's funny messing with me, huh?! Do you think it's funny now?!"

"Oh no, oh my no, I, I didn't mean to-"

You back up into a tree, letting out a squeak. And then a louder squeak as she grips you by the tuft. Oh heck that smarts... She lifts you up along the tree until you're eye level with her, lumpy bark digging into you and flecks breaking off in your mane and tail, as you quiver in fear.

"I-I'm sorry."

Your eyes are watering now, a few tears rolling down your face as you desperately hope that'll be the end of it.

"You're sorry? You're sorry?! Oh no, you're not sorry yet!"

She raises up her fist, and pulls it back as she scowls at you. You want your Daddy....

"Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

You're dropped to the floor, letting out an 'oof' sound.

"What's it to you?!"

Oh no... Johnny, please, get out of here... Maybe if it was a male Minotaur threatening you, you might feel relieved... But this is a fully grown, enraged female Minotaur. And judging from how she hasn't instantly gone into flirting mode at the sight of such a giant bull, a 100% lesbian too, so his coltish charms won't work!

"That's my friend, and I aint gonna let some weird cow imitation of a babe hurt her!" He strides towards her.

"Oh yeah? You'd better get out of here cum pump, before I hit you so hard your mom will feel it!"

Oh no, that's gonna be really hard! He stamps right up to her, a whole head taller than the huge Minotaur.

"Oh yeah? Well I'll hit you so hard all your male ancestors will feel it, and by the time my fist gets to your momma, all it'll do is write down where she can find me so I can take her out for a nice lobster dinner, and then I'll NEVER call her again."

She backs off, stumbling a little as a look of fear marks her features. "Whoa bull I, I don't want any trouble alright, it's cool, I'm sorry."

"Why're you apologising to me?!" He roars out, and she looks to you, letting out a quick and loud,

"I'm sorry!" before turning to run away, and slamming face first into a tree, knocking herself out.

Johnny visibly calms himself before walking over to you, sat on your rump. He crouches down low.

"Hey Flutters, you okay?"

"I... I am now..."

You barely whisper out, but from the small smile coming to his face, you guess he heard it.

"Twilight sent me over seeing as you seemed to be running late.."

He takes a look at the various little cuts you have, and the tears still in your eyes, before deciding to scoop you up delicately in his arms. You let out a small *eep* as you're made to lay on your back, with your hooves lightly kicking in the air. Oh no... Like this there's no hiding it... Your freakishly enormous teats, even larger than Celestias on your much smaller body, wobbling as he holds you. He must think you're an abomination. Pagasi aren't supposed to have such ridiculously enormous... You can barely even fly because of them.

"I'll take you over to the castle, get you patched up okay? And don't you worry about any more cow ladies, anyone gives you trouble Johnny'll give 'em one of these, hoo!"

He dashes forwards in a split second, about twenty metres, while thrusting his free arm forwards in a straight punch, wind whipping around as his fist cuts through the air. He gives you a reassuring smile as he starts to walk normally.

You lay there blushing. If you could be milked you're sure your teats would be making a sloshing sound right now they're so big and jiggling so much. You should be trying to pretend you're a strong mare like Dash keeps telling you. That it doesn't matter if you were a model, that colts won't like you if you're such a pushover. And she was right..

But this one seems to be okay with that... Maybe it's okay to let a colt protect you. To nurture and look after you, like you've been looking after animals. Maybe.

~~~~~~~~~~

He takes you to the castle, and into the kitchen, where he sets you on your flank on a kitchen counter. Your wings instantly shoot out to the sides as your teats also sit on the very cold surface.

"Now where are they..." He fumbles around in the cupboards. "Ah-ha!"

He comes back to you, with a box of plasters and a cloth. He gently cleans your little scrapes and cuts, washing them and drying them softly, before placing the plasters, made for colts as they have flowers on them, over your superficial wounds. Once complete, you're about ready to thank him, even while the adrenaline from the Minotaur encounter is still making your body tremble slightly. You have to pretend you're a strong mare.

Or you would have, but he leans down and forwards, and gently kisses above a plaster on your front leg. You blush hard as he continues, giving each of your booboos a light little kiss, finally stopping to smile at you.

"Don't worry Flutters, Johnny's got the power of the ultimate healing of booboos on his side. But I'm feeling a little tired from being so, hoo ha!" He poses a few times. "Stunningly handsome all the time. I don't think I could handle another day showing the world my macho brilliance. Maybe we could just spend the day here with our friend Twilight, have some tea, huh?"

You gaze into his sunglasses, and you just know. He's doing this for you, trying to make you happy and make you feel safe, while giving you a convenient excuse to not show how fearful you are of going out right now.

"W-well, if that's what you really want, I-I suppose I can't argue with that."

You beam up to him, and then lean forwards to gently hug around his thick neck.

"Thank you Johnny..."

He lifts you up, taking you into the living room, to find Twilight reading and Spike flicking gems into his mouth. As he sets you down next to Twilight, and tells you all he'll be right back, Twilight whispers to you.

"What's going on, don't you want to spend the day trying to teach him something?"

You look to the big handsome... Man, walking out towards the kitchen, and smile, turning to your friend.

"Sorry Twilight, but even as the element of kindness, there's nothing I can teach him."

~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~

"Thanks for coming Pinkie."

You bounce in place with a spring in your everything, mane and tail bobbing up and down, feeling so excited at getting to hang out with Johnny.

"No problem Twilight, it's about time I got to teach him. Poor Johnny probably doesn't even know how to kiss and snuggle and pet and squeeze and hug and kiss some more and-" You keep going despite Twilight rolling her eyes and not really paying attention.

"-Of course you'd know all about cuddling and petting, especially while having a book read to you, right Twi?"

You smile at the stumble in her body language and the blush breaking out over her face.

"I-I have no idea what you're talking about..."

"I bet he smells really good when you're trying to bury your face between his pecs huh?"

You giggle as her face becomes more red than purple.

"A-anyway I'm glad that your turn to teach him fell on today... He... He seems to be feeling pretty down about something."

At once you stop hopping in place.

"Wait, Johnny's feeling sad? Twilight why didn't you say something earlier? We should all be in a big snuggle pile and kissing him and going down on him and taking him out on shopping sprees!"

"Pinkie, first of all, he doesn't think of us in that way... Yet. And secondly, I only noticed last night. I think he's been putting on a brave face."

Now it's your turn to roll your eyes. "Fine, but tomorrow, we should all work at cheering Johnny up and making him feel special."

Before you can continue; you thought as Johnny said he'd just be a minute you had plenty of time; perhaps an hour, Johnny is coming down the stairs, each step making his jeans pull up against him to further show off the huge bulge beneath them. As he reaches the last step, he slides towards you, and you pretend you weren't just checking out the D.

"Hey Pinks, ready to hit the town?"

"You know it, come on! Bye Twilight!" You wave goodbye to her as you bounce out the door. "So I hope you haven't eaten anything yet like I told Twilight."

"Nope, you got breakfast planned for us?"

You nod your head enthusiastically.

"Uh-huh! Treating someone to a meal is a great way to start, or keep, a relationship. However, the ultra amazing best meals aren't at anywhere fancy, but super duper casual places, like Sugar Cube Corner!"

You smile as you trot closer to him, rubbing against his leg. Who cares if ponies think you're trying to mark him with your scent? Firstly, duh, you are. And secondly, who cares what they think as long as the two of you are having fun?

"So the way it usually works with stallions is after I order something, you'll either order something really small, or nothing at all, so then while I'm trying to eat my food you'll bug me to take mine or just reach over without asking and take some, even though I asked multiple times if you wanted to get more before ordering."

You explain it happily, no sarcasm in your voice. Colts can't help having their own special brand of irritating. And as you're the friendliest loveliest fluffiest pony ever, it's your job to accommodate that. What's the point in getting angry and blowing your chances? Better to just roll with it even though it always, always, ALWAYS annoys you.

You happily trot into the second best place in the world. First being inside Johnnys pants.

"Hey Mrs Cake!"

"Oh hello Pinkie, and HelLO STUD! Oh, begging your pardon sir, we just don't get a lot of enormous gorgeous stallions with a flank you could bounce a bit off of."

Oh Cup Cake, always making the colts blush, you're surprised the stallionist movement hasn't stormed this place. You swear you can hear Carrot being triggered in the kitchens.

"So what would you like Pinkie?"

"I'll have a half dozen mini chocolate chip muffins, and a half dozen mini blueberry muffins."

They're not exactly suited for breakfast, but they will be easiest to share with Johnny when he inevitably takes half your stash of muffiny goodness due to ordering so little or nothing at all.

"And what about you hot stuff? I'll make it extra sweet, just for you."

Triggering intensifies.

"I'll have forty pancakes drenched in syrup."

Your head slowly turns, then tilts so you can look far up to him. Your lower lip trembles as your eyes start to sparkle.

🎵 "What is this feeling that swells in my heart?"

"Pinkie?"

"I should have known all alooong, right from the staaaaaaaaaaaart!"

As you hold the last word you rush out of the bakery doors, and quick as a whip you race up onto a house.

"I'll shout it from the rooftops!"

You whiz away until your head bursts through the leaves of a tree.

"I'll shout it from the trees!"

You look to the birds fluttering about on the branches and in their nests.

"Oh won't you help me spread the word, pretty pretty please!"

You're back on ground level, running through the streets.

"His smile makes me feel so warm like a hot cinnamon bun!"

You briefly swing BonBon around as you pass her, before your eyes set back onto the bakery, and you start sprinting towards it.

"Oohhh yes I'm positive that I- have- found- the- ooooooooooone!" 🎵

On 'found' you burst through the doors and land on the knees of your hind legs, throwing your front legs out to showcase the one before you, sliding to a stop as you complete your short impromptu song. You casually climb back to all four hooves.

"Uh, Pinkie, you okay?"

You smile up to him.

"Perfect Johnny. Just perfect."