Irony's Tale

Mayor Mare looks at me quizzically. “Who would you ask that would have access to the significant funds we would need. You are aware we are talking building a town. From scratch. Can we even do that? I don’t know the laws relevant here. I mean I did law school, I was about to go for the bar when I got this cutie mark. But I don’t know everything relevant to Montana. I don’t know…”

Her rant is stopped by my fingers closing on her muzzle. Her eyes are round as she crosses her eyes to look at my hand, then she looks up at me. I smile and let her go. “Okay? Ready to stop focusing on the problems and start on the solutions?”

She nods and smiles tremulously. I nod decisively and relax back to all fours. I flip my tail as we head from the house. I briefly consider hopping in the car, but the ground is definitely not for a road car to traverse. I glance at the multitude of vehicles now parked in neat rows under a stand of oak trees. Were there less vehicles there the last I looked at them? I shake my head before I note a couple of SUV's and four by four trucks. But both Mayor Mare and I are Earth ponies. A run just might do us good. I take off, and in moments I hear the clatter of her hooves on the ground behind me. My exhaustion fades away as pleasant feelings of exertion spread throughout my body. The sun is getting low, but we’ve got enough time to look around. As we are galloping, I notice a small stream ahead and angle towards it. As I get to the bank, I gather myself and leap across, laughing wildly as I pick up the pace again. My ears pick up Mayor Mare catching up with me, her throaty laugh making my heart feel good. She’s enjoying this run as much as I am.

We race across the prairie as the sun gets low in the western sky. I remember it was past 2000 when I left the forge, it must be nearly an hour later now, and yet the sun is still in the sky. That’s amazing to me. Even living in Washington, I didn’t have this long of days. Too soon into the run I’m slowing to a canter, then I finally stop. Mayor Mare pulls up next to me.

She Huff’s and puffs a bit. “How are you…” she tops to take deep breaths. “Not winded after that?”

That gets a laugh from me. “Guess I’m in better shape than you.”

She rolls her eyes. “Or maybe you are fifty years younger than me.”

I cock my head to the side. “Could be that too.” And get a hoof to the side from her. I smile at her as we look around. Just as the map had said, the hill is off in the distance, but it starts right at the border of the land holdings. I can see the barbed wire fence separating the farm from the other sections of land. “Dust mentioned there were options for leasing another fifteen sections for grazing. We are ponies.”

She sticks out her tongue. “I remember eating hay and enjoying it in Equestria. But I much prefer my food to be cooked.” She stops, her eyes widening. “Wow, Irony. This is a really good spot. We can build a whole town here. I remember how Ponyville looked. I remember what it was like. The magic of our home.”

I nod. “The magic wasn’t the land, Mayor. The magic was and is us ponies. We can bring that magic here. We can make this place a haven for the ponies, a place to live. A place to thrive.”

“A place to wait until the portal opens up so we can go home.”

I stop and look at her. “If you want to go home, why didn’t you go when the portal was open?”

She looks down, her ears flicking back and forth. “I wanted to. Dear Celestia did I want to. But the ponies here, they needed help. They needed…” she trails off, looking unsure of herself.

I reach over and hug her. “You were doing what makes you the pony you are, Mayor. You were making sure those who need a way, find that way. You were a leader, and probably that was a big reason that Discord sent you here. He wanted to disrupt our harmony, to add chaos to Equestria.” I stop for a moment, my anger at him rising. I told Twilight, Celestia, and Luna that he couldn’t be trusted. I shake my head to allow the pain of our travails to dissipate. The pain lessens, a little. Finally, I smile at her. “We will make this place as beautiful as only ponies can. Now let’s head back into town.” I turn on a hoof and gallop back south, in moments she’s running next to me, a big smile on her face as she matches my longer strides.

***

The sun is fully down as I pull into the driveway of Dust’s house. As I relax onto all fours once again, I’m illuminated by the headlights of the little econobox that the former Mayor of Ponyville is driving. She opens the door and steps out.

“Isn’t it hard to drive as a pony?”

She giggles. “A couple of craftsponies at the farm had some idle time. And they did some modifications to allow Earth ponies to drive. Only needed a few vehicles for getting around. They went overboard and half the vehicles stored there are good for anypony to drive.”

I nod and lead her into the house. A welcome cacophony greets my ears, Dylan and Hannah are playing some game on the living room television and shouting a bit as they compete. I smile at them before heading to the kitchen. Helen is sitting on a bar stool, a cup of coffee next to her hand, her tablet is propped up before her. She brightens as she sees both of us.

“Well, a pleasure meeting you Mayor Mare.” She reaches out a hand and the grayish amber pony presses her hoof gently to the human's hand.

“It’s still odd to me to have so many people and ponies know more about me than I know about me.” She sighs. “I guess I’ll have to get used to it.

Helen smiles. “So, what brings you here?”

I glance around. “Where’s Dust?”

“She’s sleeping upstairs. But if it’s an emergency, I can…”

My emphatic head shaking stops Helen from getting to her feet. She looks at me quizzically.

I take a deep breath. “This is not something I want to bother her about.” I glance at the other Earth pony and steel myself. Then I launch into my thoughts, Mayor Mare interjects a few times, adding in her own ideas, and before too long, Helen is smiling and nodding.

Finally, we wind down. Helen looks from one of us to the other. “So, you essentially want to find seed money to start building a town on the farm land, but building the entire infrastructure and the ponies already at the farm will leap at the opportunity to get to work on something like that?”

We both nod in unison. Helen grins in response. “In case you didn’t know. I’m on the documents for Dust’s company, technically as the CFO, since I’m also the accountant for Lightning electric. So, I can get you the funds you need.”

“Loans.” Mayor Mare says firmly. “And we will pay interest. This is to establish a town, but we are going to have an income base.”

Helen nods. “You do know, you are going to have to approach the state capital about getting those legal hurdles handled. And can’t forget the Fallon county commissioner in Baker.” She smiles. “She is on my regular poker night. I’ll make sure she listens to you.”

The other pony's eyes widen. “We are really doing this, aren’t we?”

Helen and I both nod.

***

Less than a week later I’m standing in front of the farm house, watching a semi stop along the fence. The big Lightning Electric logo is prominent on the door of the big truck. On the trailer are large pieces of highway equipment. A half dozen ponies come out as the human sets the parking brake. I trot up to him as he steps down from the cab. Two new diesel engines add their noise to the din as the ponies call out as they are unchaining equipment. The human driver stands next to me. “Wow, they aren’t taking their time on this, are they?”

I look at him. “Nope.” I step a bit away as the trailer rocks as the first grader pulls off. And the small dozer follows in moments. Adding to the various pieces of equipment that came with the farm, we have quite a bit of equipment to start off this little project. We watch as the ponies stow the chains and tie downs for all the equipment and the human mounts the truck and quickly he’s a plume of dust heading down the road. I move off as the equipment is turned into the farm. Then I have to dance aside as a large side dump truck starts to accelerate, turning down inside the fence heading for an opening the ponies had made for large equipment to get through. Hundreds of feet of new road have been laid in just this morning. I can see the grader going down the built road to join a second grader as the dozer trundles slowly down the already paved section. The road goes along the edge of the farm plot that I was told a matter of less than a month ago that I sucked at farming. Those plants are already growing at a prodigious rate. And the ponies running the equipment are careful to keep clear of the growing food. I pick up the pace, racing a skid steer as it heads towards the plot of land that is going to be the first permanent pony home on this Earth. A big smile blossoms on my face as I cross the last little ridge and get a view of the town. Several truck loads of lumber have already been delivered, thanks to Mayor Mare and Helen working so closely together. An excavator and a backhoe are already hard at work digging where our power station is going to go. It’s already been decided to produce power the way the ponies did back in Equestria. Dozens of pegasi are in the air, gathering clouds, figuring how to make the weather the way we want it. Several humans, most of them related to the ponies, are joining in the massive amount of work to just lay everything out. Stakes in the ground show where streets are going to be laid. I glance around, and randomly decide to approach two humans along with four unicorns and an Earth pony. They are gluing together PVC conduit.

“Need any help?”

The unicorn nods and I join the humans. By the stickers on his hard hat, he’s a journeyman electrician. He looks at the unicorn. “We are almost done with the first run, you sure we don’t need a trencher for this? Code says minimum of twenty-four inches of cover.”

The unicorn grins. She tosses her mane a bit, settling the modified hard hat on her head. “I told you, electrical and plumbing doesn’t need to disturb the ground. You’ve got the risers at a total of seven feet, right?”

The human nods, “Yeah, but how…”

The unicorn holds up a hoof. “With ponies, you get magic. Watch and learn.” She trots over to a stake driven into the ground and lines herself up, facing another stake. I shift onto two hooves, getting the humans to gape for several moments before the unicorn clears her throat. I reach out and grab the riser, dragging that end towards the stake by the unicorn.

“Holy shit, you’re strong.” The electrician says. Getting a grin from me. I haul the heavy nearly three hundred foot long run of fairly big PVC to the stake. The humans drag the other end towards the other. One human holds the one end while I hold the other, and the other two straighten out the run of conduit. Soon, it’s straight in line and the unicorn nods happily. Her horn lights and the ground glows brightly. She grunts as the conduit run sinks into the earth. In only moments, the risers on each side have only two feet or so above the ground. Astonished looks abound on both the human and every pony's face but the one unicorn. She gestures and they bring out levels, adjusting the risers gently till both sides are satisfied. Then one human does a thumbs up. The unicorn holding the spell relaxes visibly and a small mound of dirt pushes up along the entire line. One of the humans looks at the unicorn. “That’s it? You make the pipe sink into the ground?”

She nods. “Well, it’s a bit more complex than that, but yeah, essentially.”

The human nods appreciatively, then he turns back to the others. “Alright, we’ve got five more runs to do here.” He calls out. And the rest of them scramble to the pile of PVC and the fittings. I join them, switching between four legs and two with ease as we work together to get the conduits ready. A few hours pass rapidly as I get lost in the work with the humans and the ponies.

As the unicorn sets the last of the new duct bank. I wipe the sweat from my brow and look around. The equipment moving around, the ponies working, it all set so chaotic. But then I take a step back. It’s not chaotic, it’s complex, it’s a dance. Hundreds of bodies in perfect symmetry, working together or a common goal. Utterly amazing.

“Irony! Hey!”

The familiar voice has me standing tall, peering in the direction the voice came from, before I spot Mayor Mare. She gestures for me to follow her. A job office trailer is off away from the active construction, as well as a few others for spare materials. Ponies and humans are streaming all around. Lots of measuring is being done, laying out streets and working on basic infrastructure, at least two more crews are using that unique method to get pipes into the ground. Though watching a unicorn hold the ground in place for a truck mounted crane to slowly lower a four foot diameter sewer pipe into seemingly flattened ground is a bit disconcerting. As evidenced by the look on the crane operators face as two unicorns stand on each side of the pipe with their horns lit. A pony in a skid steer pushes the dirt away from where previously laid sections are now buried. I shake my head as I mount the steps into the office.

“Oh, Irony! Isn’t it amazing?” the exuberance in Mayor Mare's voice gets a smile from me.

“Eeyup.” She starts at my utterance, then she grins.

“Don’t go all Big Mac on me, missy.” She scolds, getting a laugh from me.

“Nope.”

She just sighs and shakes her head. “You scamp.” She says with a throaty laugh. She gestures for me to come over. “Dust’s design-build team has been busy, all at Helen's direction. Dust has been busy with a big project near Williston, Kinder Morgan wants a couple of three hundred thousand barrel tanks up near Sidney Montana up and going as of yesterday, so she’s pouring in her time there, flying back and forth, then working all day has her pretty tired. And I know you’ve been busy with training up the teams for security. After that unpleasantness with the guy from that Spectrum place, I understand your concern. So we are taking security here seriously. Some of our unicorns are proficient at building wards. And we’ve talked to the FAA about setting up a no-fly zone here for any travel and to prevent pegasi from interfering with flight operations. Ponies are arriving here daily, now. More are changing than I had ever thought possible.” She stops for a moment, a look of infinite sadness on her face. But she shakes her head and resumes. “The pump station is planned out, and a water tower is in the process of being fabricated. All the things that make a city, data lines, sewage, power, all of that are being put in the ground. Have you seen how the unicorns can just make the ground open up?”

I nod. “Dust has told me that underground construction was super expensive.”

She nods. “Well, not with these ponies. We will have the medium voltage equipment ready by the time the power plant is online. I’d say, within a month, we’ll be in the process of the first stores, and the first actual houses. I’ve been talking to building engineers and the local building inspectors. We are going to have a town built here, and quickly.”

I smile. “That’s excellent.”

She gestures to the plans before her. “We do need to go over a few things.” The mayor says softly as I lean in. “This is so exciting!”

I grin as we get down to the details of all of this work going on.

***

Among the preparation that Dust and I have been working on. We built new teams of ponies to help those in need, and they are already busy. Spread all over the world, finding ponies and either releasing them to their families, or bringing them back to the farm. Mayor Mare and I have discussed potential names for the nascent town being built. But nothing has really come up. The option for the extra fifteen sections includes the large almost mountain to the north west of the site. A few dozen pegasi have started something interesting there. They have set up a cloud bank, attached to the very top of the hill, spreading around quite a distance. They are shaping buildings made of cloud! Moon Shadow was able to cast a cloud walking spell on me, allowing me to join her and a couple of the pegasi to tour the cloud construction going on. How they get working fountains and basins made of cloud is beyond me. I was told it’s a function of pegasus cloud shaping magic. Some of the city is being built where a cloud walking spell won’t be needed, the clouds will be that substantial. Just blows my mind that it’s even possible. I come back to the house completely blown away. Only to have a magenta unicorn with a snow-white mane bouncing before me.

“Hi Mindy.”

She giggles, almost exactly the same as Pinkie Pie's giggle snort. “Oh, Irony, this isn’t gonna be fun. But we found some more ponies.”

I cock my head to the side. “Well, have you given them instructions on how to make it here? Offered to send them money to assist them to get here?”

She stops bouncing. “No, I couldn’t. I haven’t been able to talk to any of them. But Soarin left quite a bit of computer search systems up when he left.” Her ears flicker and her mane starts to flatten a bit before slowly gaining back its usual bounce. “I’ve told Dustie, I think there are ponies being held against their will, based on the searches. But I haven’t gotten names at all. Though some cutie mark searches really do tell me something. If there are ponies there, they are being carefully kept off the net, so I can’t confirm anything. We’ve got two chariots ready to take us. I know Dustie wants you with us, so…ya wanna come?”

I look down at Moon, then back at the party pony. “If a pony is in need, I’m always available, right Moon?”

Moon Shadow nods decisively. “Always.”

“Good.”

As Mindy bounces away, I get a thought. “Where are we going?”

She looks back at me, mid-bounce. “Tacoma.”