Irony's Tale

Going back through the portal is stomach wrenching, though, something about it feels odd. As before, everything including time is stretched out as the power takes us and pulls. My hand is frozen on Ray’s withers as the energy spirals around and the event horizon spits us out on the Earth side of the portal. I’m once again in the little shed on the former school grounds. I shake my head and stand up.

“That was weird.” I murmur softly before I’m impacted by a feathery missile. Dust holds onto me tightly, and then I notice something. “I’m still a pony.”

She looks up at me, “Yeah, you are. And as beautiful as ever.” Her face practically glows as she uses her wings for height to nuzzle my cheeks.

“Hey, guys. I think something went wrong.” I turn and look, but instead of a human, Dr. Ray is standing there, a frown on his furred face.

That gets a glomp from Dust onto him, I have to smile as Dust inspects his cutie mark. Moon moves up to me, and I gather her up. “You have no idea, love.” I say softly into her ear. “Sweetie Belle figured out how to fix our memories.”

Her eyes widen. “So, you remember?”

I nod. “It’s all there now, but it’s going to be a while processing all of that.” I hug her close. “But I’m still a pony, and that’s a good thing.”

I look back at Dust and Ray. “I think it was my magic, Ray. What allows me to change form. It messed up with the portal, did it feel different to you?”

He looks thoughtful. “Yeah, I thought the first time was crazy enough. The second time was wild.”

“You can go back through, then hop back, come back and be human again.”

He frowns, looking back at his form. “Nah, I like this.” He looks up at his horn. “But I think I’ll need some more training with this.”

Moon squirms out of my grasp and moves over to him. I look around. It’s even busier than when we left. The military command center setup is populated with both ponies and humans. Part of me itches to get over to them, find out what’s going on. But Dust’s exuberance stays my hooves. I relax onto all four, and in moments I’ve got a feathered rider, Dust is now reclining on my back, leaning her head on me.

“You do know, I’m not a mount.” I grumble as I trod towards my car.

She giggles. “Coulda fooled me.” I roll my eyes before another loud *wum* emanates from the shack. In moments another human steps out the door, not really noticing his nudity. Though he’s quite impressive, in an Arnold kind of way. Dust trots over to him, and pretty soon, Big Mac joins us all in heading to my car.

The trip back to Montana is fairly uneventful, even with the stop back at the farm in Iowa. Though at both Dust and my insistence, we stop for fuel rather than taking sips at a time from passing vehicles. Trixie and Moon keep busy making sure we aren’t noticed. Though I do keep closer to the speed limit from Dubuque, Iowa back into the state of Montana. My beautiful girl purrs as we take the desolate route south of Wibaux down towards Dust's home town. The tears have mostly abated from everypony involved. I’ve let both Moon and Trixie drive from time to time, allowing me to curl up with Dust and silently allow my own tears to fall. A slow drive past her house on Baker Lake sends is towards the farm to the west and north of the little town.

As we get on the final road to the farm, my first surprise is the jarring washboard of a road has been smoothed out. Dust explained the orange rock covering a lot of county roads in this part of Montana and North Dakota is called scoria. And it looks like someone had taken heavy equipment to smooth out the underlayment and new scoria had been spread out. At a mere twenty miles per hour, we are kicking up some dust, but the road is butter smooth. I’m actually quite impressed. Then my jaw drops. What was barbed wire in moderate disrepair is now a solid ten foot tall fence made of wrought iron, and to make it seem less imposing, trees and bushes have been planted all along the length of the fence. Ponies at work is all I can think about as we get to the entrance gate. A guard house has been erected with a human sitting in it. The human notices that we are ponies and waves us through, pushing a button to lift the gate.

The grounds have gone through a significant transformation as well. The house has received a coat of paint and other repairs, a quick glance would make the casual observer think the place is brand new. If they are this industrious when it comes to homes here on Earth, how much rebuilding is going on in Equestria? I pull into a space next to Helen’s SUV and finally switch off my car. As we get out, I pat the fender, she’s been acting really good the last few hectic days. Dust is busy greeting her family as I get around to the trunk. Moon Shadow is standing there, a grave look on her face as her horn lights. I put the key into the slot and turn, the trunk pops up and I stand back as the shrouded body is removed. I momentarily envy the turquoise pegasus as she has a moment of joy with her family. Moon suppresses the tears wanting to form in her eyes as I relax onto four legs. The pressure that has been building behind my eyes starts to abate as we move the shrouded body around the side of the farm house. Our calls ahead have been productive, an area has been cleared for the fire to go on tonight. Tradition is for the family to build the pyre, and I get busy, I may not be related by blood to Soarin or Dust. But we are family, I know that for certain.

Hours pass as we finally place the body on the wood. Dust has been more than helpful, so has nearly everypony else. Mindy has emerged, a package had been delivered, with the EUP flag. We all stand there as the sun slowly dips towards the horizon. Dust notices before I do, but the Princess of the Night appears. I take a step back as I watch ponies from all over the farm move closer, sensing the magic, the strength of what makes Equestria the land that she is.

After Sweetie Belle did her work on me, I can tell my memories are back, but I find it hard to call them up, it’s just too much. How do you process a lifetime of memories in a couple of days? I blink, Princess Luna has finished talking, so has Dust, and Mindy has just lit the pyre. I stand there as the flames leap up. One by one, the ponies start to sing, tears are wrenched from my eyes as the magic flows, the pain of our loss, the healing, the beauty of Equestria flows through me as the magic compels me to add my voice.

As the song ends, everything is consumed, leaving nothing but char and ash on the bare ground. I shake my head, it’s not just the world, it’s the ponies that make this magic happen. As the ponies move off, Dust and her family are left standing, Moon Shadow and Trixie are with her, along with Lightning Flash. I toss my brother a smile as we both join Dust in heading into the house. After all this time of frenetic activity, it’s over. The battle is done, we’ve won, and are starting to fully realize the price of that win. I shuffle to the couch, it looks pretty comfortable, an old sectional with just the right amount of sag in the springs.

“Irony.”

I look up at Moon's voice.

She moves up to me, nuzzling my cheek. “What are you doing?”

“I’m crawling onto the couch to get some sleep.”

She glances at the stairs quickly. “Come upstairs, join Dust and Helen.”

My ears flick back and forth. “They need time.”

I’m suddenly picked up in magic, I look levelly at Moon as she turns tail, me secure in her magical field. “Don’t be silly or stubborn, Irony, love. Dust needs us as much as she needs Helen. She’s been through as much hell as we have. And she needs everypony…every one that loves her to be close.”

“What about Mindy?”

That gets a soft laugh from the gray unicorn. “Trixie and Flash are taking care of her. She won’t be sleeping alone tonight either. She rebuffed Dusts attempt, but Trixie worked it out. That mare can be very understanding and loving when she needs to be. They’ll be but a door away if they need us.”

Her field let’s me go once we are in the large master bedroom. Helen is already stretched out on the bed. An already passed out Dust in her arms. Her head lifts and she smiles at us. Any doubts are smashed when she pats the bed on the other side. I hop up and snuggle into her shoulder. Hesitantly I kiss her cheek, getting her hand to cup my own cheek. Her arm slithers around me, bringing me closer as the covers draw back from underneath me and settle on top with Moon Shadow snuggling into my back as the big spoon. Then I get a surprise. “You’re naked.” I whisper into Helen’s ear.

She nods. “I hate wearing clothes to sleep, are you uncomfortable?”

I shake my head and squeeze her close to me. “I always hated clothes too. Especially socks.”

She leans her head against my forehead. “Same here, and underwear too. But if I’m going to sleep, I’d rather be comfortable.”

I nuzzle her neck for a moment, sleep is rolling over me. “Love you Helen, you are a wonderful person.”

“Mike...well…Dust used to say that all the time. Maybe someday I’ll believe it.”

I try to respond, but my entire body is too heavy to move. I finally surrender to the exhaustion.

***

My eyes pop open to the rising sun. It’s been a couple of weeks since Soarin's funeral, a couple of weeks having nothing really major to do. Though I have prevailed upon Dust to get ready for more hell to come our way. Getting volunteers was easy, finding the right ones has been difficult. But we are going through the process to build teams of ponies to help ponies all over to get to safety. We were very busy before the portal opened, but we are getting slow reports of more humans turning pony. Some finagling has set up a hotline for those in the transition to call to get pony help. Mindy has informed us of her pregnancy, which had necessitated a big party for her, and since she’s our resident party pony, she had insisted on planning it herself. The craziest part is she had insisted on it being a surprise party. Dust had informed me to roll with the idea, and we did. And apparently, Mindy was quite surprised that such a big party had been set up for her. The hangover from that night for me was absolutely epic in both scope and duration. One thing they don’t show in the show, ponies and alcohol are a very pleasant combination.

I stretch on the bed, enjoying the feel of my body. My memories feel better, more integrated, I can think about the past without the struggle and pain from before. I stop and just lie there. In my time as Henry, my time in Equestria, or as my time as a slave, I’ve never been this comfortable, this content. It almost disturbs me, I’ve always been about keeping busy, working, thinking hard. But living with Dust and her family, it’s been almost too easy. I don’t need a job right now, I’ve been spending money out of my savings account, and it is quite healthy right now. My adoptive parents have always pounded into my head save money from every paycheck, make it so you don’t have to struggle if you aren’t working. So, I have squirreled away a couple of years worth of income. And now, when we go to get groceries, Dust is pushing ahead to pay for it. The bills for the house are taken care of. I don’t have to spend all that much money for daily care. And whenever I’ve expressed an interest in buying something, Dust would make it simply appear, usually saying she found a good deal for it online or something. I swear that mare is going out of her way to pamper me.

I glance over at the only other occupant of the bed. My precious Moon Shadow, who is sleeping peacefully, has actually taken well to the pampering from the turquoise pegasus and the rest. She was busy late into the night with her dreaming. And since walking the dream is not as restful as true sleep, she likes to sleep in in the mornings, for me, 0530 is the perfect wake-up time. A glance at the clock on the end table shows four minutes before that time. I glance at the sunrise. What time does the sun come up around this part of the nation? I shake my head and carefully extricate myself from my unicorn's grasp and end up on the floor. A quick shake of my body and I’m out the door. The house is quiet, though school should be almost done for the year for Dusts human kids, Helen must be off at work, and of course Dust is gone working as well. Trixie, Flash and Mindy have essentially moved out to the farm while Moon and I are spending most of our time in town.

A quick bit of concentration has me on two hooves. I grab my keys from the hangar by the front door and step down the front steps. I stop and look at my baby, she’s glistening in the morning dew, as always, she takes my breath away, what a beautiful car. Only moments have the engine firing to life and I back out of my space and head down the street. It’s not very long before I’m hitting highway speed to get to the turnoff north of town. There are not all that many trees around here, but as I get closer to the farm, I can see more of them. Looks like the ponies are planting trees at a furious pace. And their magic has the slender saplings growing at a prodigious rate. I nod to the human as I get through the gate and head to the forge a little bit away from the main house. It’s not even six in the morning.

I push the drivers door closed and I find my ears perking. The forge is not idle. My nose twitches, the smell of hot steel is wafting from the doors. And more ear twitches bring the unique sounds of metal being worked. I nose my way through the door, and the hints of smells I was detecting hit me full force.

“Oh, Irony!” a unicorn scampers over. “You’ll never believe it!”

My brow furrows. “Believe what?”

“Folded Steel and I have remembered something from Equestria! We can make the air carts again. I’ve remembered the spell that goes on them.”

My eyes widen at the frame taking shape in the middle of the forge. Though some things are different than my memories from Equestria, like the standard automotive wheels and tires the frame is resting on, as well as the steel coil and shock absorber system. I look up at the unicorn and grin. “Dazzle, that’s just perfect.” I stop and look around. “Okay, the structure needs a lot more.” My memories are suffusing back to the surface, I’ve helped on making these in the past, back in Equestria. The basic shape of the frame, what is made of steel, of any ferrous metal actually, is what’s important. The outer skin can be gold, or anything, really. It just has to have the right frame. I had shifted on to two hooves without realizing it fully. I reach a hand down and pick up the edge of the frame to look underneath. Twin gasps get me looking up at them, a questioning look on their faces. “What?”

“I know how much that weighs.” Folded Steel says softly, “you picked it up like it’s nothing.”

My face on fire, I let the budding chariot down on it’s wheels. “I do work out.”

“With what, train locomotives?” Dazzle grumbles.

I flinch. Only to get the unicorn mare to take a step forward. “Oh, I didn’t mean anything by that, Irony. Your strength just surprised me. I’ve got to remember, Earth ponies, especially ones your size, are strong.”

Folded Steel snorts softly. “How do you do that? I wouldn’t mind having my hands back, I do just fine with what I’ve got, but I do miss them.”

I feel like I’m drawing into myself. “I don’t know, it’s something unique to me.”

To my surprise, the stallion grins. “Well, that’s really cool. If it helps with your iron working, I’m all for it.”

I shrug. “I’m better with armor, with weapons.”

He sighs. “Well, with the humans, I have a feeling those skills will come into play before too long. But do you have ideas for the chariot?”

I nod. I am in my element here. I take a few minutes to explain my memories, which get both of the other ponies nodding in agreement. Finally, we all move away, and I get to the already lit forge and place a piece of steel stock in. They are pretty close to having it done, just a few more pieces to fabricate.

***

It’s pretty late, though the sun is still fairly high when I’m able to extract myself from the forge. Swinging a heavy hammer, working with hot and heavy steel has my body pleasantly worn out. I relax onto four hooves, maybe I can trouble Mindy and Flash for some food before I head back to the house.

“Irony!”

That voice gets me to sigh. Everypony wanting my attention today? I’m not a leader, why do the ponies look to me for help? Although the mare that walks up to me is familiar to me from both my memories, and from the show. “What can I do for you Mayor Mare?”

The familiar mare seems to not have found mane dye as of yet, she’s sporting a shockingly pink do. “When will Lightning Dust show up? While we are greatly appreciative of all she’s done when it comes to housing for the ponies.” She stops, looking concerned. “But, it’s simply not enough. It’s great to have a bed, and we have enough food, and all the basic necessities to live. But many ponies don’t have anything to do!”

I find my eyes narrowing. I know that feeling all too well. Dust is busy with her work, I doubt she has the time to think of the individual work of the ponies to keep them productive and happy. She seems to misconstrue the look on my face as she continues. “We did quite a bit for the farm, the facelift and maintaining the grounds were a cinch for the earth ponies around here. With assistance from the pegasi and unicorns…” She stumbles to a stop due to my upraised hoof.

“You are a hundred percent correct Mayor.” I stop, thinking furiously. “Lets go into the house, I have an idea.”

She follows me, a curious frown on her face. I remember seeing a stack of papers when Dust bought this place. Land titles, deeds, surveying maps, all that stuff. I trot up the stairs and in minutes my steps downstairs are nearly prancing. I set the big expanding folder on the table with a big smile. I root around and finally spread out the map.

“Okay, Dust was thinking expansion when she bought this place. This whole place is ten sections. You know what a section is?”

She snorts. “I grew up as a human in a small apartment in Carson City. I have no idea.”

I shift, ignoring her eyes widening as I run my finger along the map. “A section is a square mile, so we have ten square miles to work with, or sixty four hundred acres. And we are in luck, it’s all concentrated in one big block, the house and barn are on this section here.” I point, and she rears her forehooves onto the table so she can see. “This whole area here.” I gesture all around to the north of the homestead. “Is empty, most seemed to have been used for planting. But maybe we can do something with that.” I point along the elevation lines. “Look here, this large hill, it’s almost a mountain, but it’s right at the edge of the land Dust bought. Look to the west of it, with that, you have a good lee from the primary eastbound winds here. The river can be played with, ensuring we have fresh water.”. Memories surface, how much the ponies can do when it comes to adjusting the world to suit us. “We can build here.”

“How much money did she spend for this?”

I look at her. “Dust refused to tell me. She said it’s just money, and it means delaying the purchase of another company for a while.” I smile at her. “But her wife did tell me.” I lean closer. “The farm was a steal, she said. Five point eight million dollars, and she spent another half a million on those barracks most of the ponies are sleeping in.”

That gets a low whistle from the pink maned mare. “But what about money for building supplies? I mean after she spent so much on the land and the housing, I can’t conscience asking for any more. We can scavenge only so much, though, and many ponies that came here with money are fairly tapped put financially, remember, we were all 25 year old humans before this.”

That gets a grin from me. “I know just who to ask. We will set it up as a loan. Dust already has pegasi learning the weather. We will be selling weather services around the area, so the farm will have an income fairly quickly. But first, let’s head out there, take a look at what we have to work with.”