Irony's Tale

Sparkler is one happy pony. While she hasn’t heard about any problems the other two teams have been having, her team has simply walked into the lab, let the staff know in no uncertain terms that the ponies here were no longer under their control, and walked out with them. Every pony, of all three tribes, has been happy to leave the confines of the lab. Though some of the horror stories the ponies told her of what happened to them will likely keep her up at nights. Thirty-two ponies are now walking with her to the chariot. Storm Track has two foals perched on her back, and Blaze has another earth pony filly on his. Though the cruelty of Discord to turn such young ponies turns her stomach. And then the savagery of the humans towards the ponies is just as upsetting to her. This has been quite easy. One of the unicorns, a Canterlot native with burgundy colored mane is prancing next to her.

She excuses herself from the conversation as the smart watch on her hoof vibrates in an alarm. She promised them five minutes to evacuate from when she left the building. That time is now up. As she pulls to a stop, so does her team. The ponies that they’ve rescued all slow and finally stop in response, looking at her curiously.

Sparkler clears her throat. “We are going back to the United States soon. There is safety there, the ponies have a haven for our kind. You all will be welcomed. But right now, I will fulfill a promise.” She walks towards the curve in the road, it overlooks the entire facility. The modern construction actually looks quite pleasant in the small valley it occupies. But the horrors that happened here will never be happening again. Sparkler lights her horn as she sits down. She groans softly as she pulls more aether into her horn. As she’d walked through the building heading towards the lab proper, she’d set up a few spells. She triggers the weaves now, slicing through the concrete and steel of the supports for the building. In a matter of moments, the roof in the middle of the building slowly buckles, which starts a chain reaction, collapsing the entire structure. It’s only moments before the entire building is nothing more than rubble and a massive dust cloud.

Sparkler smiles before turning tail and heading to the chariot. They have far more ponies here than could be safely carried by the chariot. And the pegasi with her are not really good for long distance flying. She whips out her phone and dials.

“This is Mindy.”

Sparkler grins. “Mindy, our mission was a tremendous success. I need a couple of strong teleporters to help with getting the ponies home.”

That gets a low whistle. “Okay, keep your phone line open.”

Sparkler waits patiently before a zap announces a pony appearing. Mindy shakes her mane out, looking back at Sparkler with a happy grin. She looks curiously at the rising cloud of dust before taking in the group of ponies around the strike team. “Success is the right word here.” Mindy says with a giggle. Then she raises her voice. “Anypony ever travel by phone?”

Mindy giggles at the confused looks on the pony’s faces. She holds out Sparkler’s phone. “Just think of the Matrix.” She brings the phone to the first pony, a pegasus, who’s wings spread in alarm. As the device touches the pony’s ear, it looks like she’s sucked into the phone held in the orange glow of the magical party pony. “Who’s next?”

More than one takes a step back. Mindy giggles. “Remember, I got here using this. It’s perfectly safe.” She taps the screen, turning on the video call function. She calls into the phone a couple of times, and shortly the pegasus who had been transported first picks up the phone, looking back.

“I’m okay. That was wild.” She says.

Mindy taps a unicorn with the phone, and that pony seems to be sucked into the phone, showing up on the screen next to the first pegasus. The pony squees loudly before Mindy moves to the next pony. One by one, each pony is sucked into the phone before appearing on the screen. Finally, only Sparkler’s team is left. Mindy turns to Sparkler, panting. “Want a quick trip?”

Sparkler shakes her head. “Nah, you look tired enough after that. Want to ride with us?” She gestures to the two pegasi as they strap themselves into their chariots.

Mindy looks at the team as they load up, stripping off their armor and clambering inside, then back at Sparkler. “Ya know, I think a bit of a rest is a good thing.”

Sparkler puts a hoof over the withers of the party pony. “We are going to find Dust. I know we will.”

Mindy heaves a sigh, then she sniffs, holding back the tears that are so willing to fall recently. She succeeds, this time. She nods. “I know, but I am afraid of what they are doing to her.”

They hop into the chariot, and the pegasi take off. Sparkler works on the nav systems of the chariot, and soon they are on a great circle course back to Montana. As she moves back to sit down with her team. “I wonder how Irony is doing.”

***

The tail end of the magic of Cloud Kicker’s singing is still flowing, but it’s not time for singing. It’s time to fight. I grin as a few of the humans level guns at us, only to find their aim is being pushed away as they try to focus on us. One or two fire rounds, which embed themselves in the cinder block bricks of the hallway. I heft my mace, I’ve dealt with big guys like this before. Apparently he has picked me as his opponent as well, he darts ahead of the other humans and heads towards me. He has good discipline, he’s not wildly attacking, he’s keeping his head around him. As he gets close, he raises his baton, I smirk at him as I bring my shield into play.

*clang*

I ignore how strong that impact was as I swing my mace, like before, it’ll split the riot helmets as well as the skull underneath. Then I overbalance as he darts to the side faster than I’d ever have believed possible. Where the fuck did he go? He must be hiding in the shadow of my shield. Guess he doesn’t realize the shield is a weapon unto itself. I thrust towards where I think he is. And overbalance again as I connect with nothing. Then I shout as an impact to the small of my back drives me forward. I flip around so I land on my back, though my shield goes flying as I clatter to the ground. He’s driving his attack towards me, and I desperately get my mace in the way of the human’s killing stroke. Without my shield, my left hand his free, I jab into his face, my gauntlet connecting with his riot helmet. That gets him to take a step back and flick his baton into his other hand while I scramble to my hooves. A quick glance shows that the entire team is engaged, Moon is busy holding the unconscious ponies while she fends off two humans trying to connect with their own weapons. Blossomforth is darting from human to human, she’s doing damage, but only one human is down so far. And poor Cloud Kicker, she’s got a single human squared off with her. And they are tangling like two master fighters, the look on Kicker’s face, grim determination, tells me this is the fight of her life.

I take a step back, avoiding a massive swing of the human’s baton. The divot his weapon deals into the wall gets me to pause. This damn human is easily as strong as I am. Add in that he’s fast as a viper. I’m in trouble. “Moon!” I call out.

“Busy.” She calls back, a third human is pressing his attack on her. She’s throwing her magic wildly, pushing humans off balance, keeping them from getting too close, but she’s having to fall back slowly with every attack. I grimace, it’s just me and him right now. I hope that Blossomforth can keep the others busy. I growl, I don’t like being on the defensive. I deflect another attack with my mace by the massive human before relaxing quickly onto all fours. I plant my forehooves and kick out in a massive buck, both hooves connecting on his chest, getting a massive groan from him as I shift back to two hooves and pick up my mace to slam into his shoulder.

The strike never connects, he gets his baton up and deflects my mace up and away. But instead of taking a moment to bring his baton around to strike me again, he takes a step forward, slamming into my chest plate, shoulder first. The move knocks me off balance, and as I’m heading to land on my back for a second time, I can see the tip of his baton blur as he swings right at my head. I’m able to raise an arm, only to have it knocked down. He slams his baton into me again, over and over, while my armor is protecting me from the direct impact, I’m still stunned by the multiple impacts. I snarl at him, relaxing into my pony form and bucking him from my back, staggering him back a step.

Quick as a thought I’m back on two hooves, swinging my mace at his head, he quickly deflects my strike and his hand darts forward, I shake my head, where did my helmet go? My thoughts are blurred as I take a few steps back. My chest plate takes three impacts in a heartbeat, I snarl and grab my helmet, throwing it at the human who leveled a gun at me. The heavy helm knocks him back as I rush the massive human, my shoulder takes another massive impact as I tackle him to the ground. I grin as his baton skitters away. My first hit knocks his own helmet off. Only a second has my knees on his shoulders. I slam both of my fists into his unprotected face. He flexes his legs, trying to buck me off, but another massive punch has him jerking before his body stills. I look down, I don’t think he’ll be getting up from that.

I lever myself to my hooves and look around. Cloud Kicker is trading blows with the same human from before, they are moving too damned fast though. If I try to insert myself, I’d probably get in the way. A commotion off to the side reveals Blossomforth dealing with some other humans. I stop for a second, why am I so dizzy? He couldn’t have gotten me that bad. I reach down and grab my mace, taking a moment to shake the blood from my hands. For a moment, everything doubles, and now my head is hurting. I growl and take off after the humans trying to mob the colorful pegasus.

I grab the first one I come to, he screams as I pick him up by the scruff of the neck. I toss him, hard into the wall. The sickening thud announces he’s permanently out of the fight. A second one notices the sounds and whirls towards me. A tazer baton in his hands. He jabs it at me, but it’s too late, my mace drive through his shoulder, crumpling him to the ground. I slam a booted hoof on the now dropped tazer, crushing it. I step over a body, this one had been dispatched by Blossomforth, judging by the deep gashes from her wingblades on the body. The relative narrowness of the corridor is preventing too many humans from getting to her at once and allows me to pick a couple off as they are trying to get to the pegasus. But I can hear her panting over the din. She’s wearing out, I need to help her. I shake my head, damn, it hurts a lot now.

A loud scream gets me to look behind me, Cloud Kicker is dancing away from the human, her blades wet. The human collapses to his knees, blood streaming down his chest, before Cloud whips back to him and drives both blades deep into his chest. She kicks the lifeless body away before flipping towards us.

“Irony!” Moon’s voice is strained. I nod at Cloud Kicker, who leaps towards the humans mobbing Blossomforth while I rush towards the humans trying to get to Moon. With a war scream, I barrel into the humans, the first one takes an underhand swing which breaks his leg and hip, he hits the ground, howling. I bring the mace in an arc to slam into the back of the head of the second human. Brain and blood gush from the wound as I jerk my mace away. The last of the three on Moon stops for a moment to look at me. Apparently I’m a sight, he drops his gun and runs.

I glance over at where Blossomforth and Cloud Kicker were, the emergency stairwell. A short scream has me leaping forward. Cloud Kicker’s rage fueled scream in response is combined with her lashing about her like a demon. I grab the first human I come to, hitting his lower back with a hard hoof. He collapses to the ground with a scream, which is truncated by my mace splitting his helmet and skull. I make my way into the stairwell. Blossomforth is down on her side, being tazed again by one of the humans. Without thought, I leap over the handrail, landing mace first on the human that has Blossomforth down. I look up and swipe at a second human down on the lowest level with her, hitting him in the shoulder and his arm is dead. I follow up with a headbutt, it hurts a bit since my helmet has been lost in the fight. But he collapses back, blood streaming from his nose and eyes. Cloud Kicker lands next to me, holding one wing tightly to her side.

Suddenly, it’s over. The clatter of booted feet of the retreating humans is the only thing I hear. I frown at Cloud, who noses Blossomforth. The light gray pegasus’ eyes are closed, though she seems to be breathing. I cradle her body and put her over my shoulder. “Let’s go.” I growl as I take the steps two at a time.

“Irony.” Cloud Kicker says as she follows me up the stairs.

“Not right now.” I growl.

We emerge into the second underground level, Moon Shadow now is carrying nearly forty ponies, with a half dozen on their hooves around her. I look over and see a human in a lab coat cowering behind an exam table. I take a step in her direction and she darts for the stairs. That gets a smile from me before I nod my head towards Moon, who lowers the shield she had erected around herself and the ponies. She nudges a few of the ambulatory ponies, and they level fearful glances at me before scampering towards freedom. I smile at Moon, getting first a smile from her, which grows into a worried frown. I shrug and follow the ponies.

“Irony.” Moon says softly.

“Later.” I say as we clamber up the stairs. The freed ponies have congregated in the stairwell, though they shrink back from me a bit as I stride through the door into the lobby. My mace ready and my head swiveling. I gesture for everypony to follow me, and the ponies stream out the building, Moon and Cloud Kicker in my wake, with Blossomforth on my shoulder. We walk through the campus, among the trees, enjoying the late evening light. How long were we inside there?

As we get through the gate, I stop in surprise. Two larger chariots are there, waiting. Ponies from the farm fussing over the new arrivals, greeting them and getting them loaded up. Dr. Ray is among them. He smiles at me as I step up, then he does an double take.

“Irony, put her down.”

I frown. “She was hurt, I’m going to put her where she’ll be comfortable.”

“I’ll deal with her in a bit, but first, you.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, you aren’t.” Moon Shadow says as she starts putting the incapacitated ponies into one of the chariots.

I shake my head, why does it hurt so damned much?

Dr. Ray growls and his horn lights. Before I know it, I’m on the ground, my armor is being peeled from my body. I try to resist, but the unicorn is determined. The bodysuit I wear under my armor rips and pulls away. Dr. Ray tsks. “What did you fight? A Siberian tiger?”

I frown. “Just a human, though he was big.”

“Enormous is the word, Irony.” Moon Shadow comes into my vision. Her horn is lit, and I’m lifted gently from the ground.

“What is going on?!” I shout, getting both unicorns to stop for a moment. Then Moon Shadow runs a hoof along my face.

“He got you good, I’m surprised your skull isn’t cracked.”

“What?”

Dr. Ray concentrates, and the tone of his magic changes. The world becomes ethereal, I can hear them talking, and something about my head is being talked about. But I float in absolute bliss, not a bit of pain. I lose count of all time, all thinking escapes me, I simply exist.

Pain slams into me as I am lowered gently to the ground, I relax onto all fours and flip over. Though I feel weak, probably not a good idea to try to stand up at the moment. I look at the two unicorns. Moon is supporting Dr. Ray, leading him back to the chariot. The other ponies are loaded up, and as I watch, the pegasi pullers are hooking themselves up. Only minutes has them in the air, heading back to home. Moon walks over to me. “It’s just you and me on the return, love. Cloud Kicker is staying with Blossomforth.”

“How is she?”

“You saved her life, she was stunned, knocked out. They probably would have killed her had you not stopped them.” She reaches out, running her forehoof over my face gently, though I find myself flinching in pain.

“How bad did he get me?”

She giggles. “There is a reason the ponies were wary of you, you had blood streaming down your face, he got you good. One of your ears, and much of your pelt on the side of your head, was bunched back. You were bleeding badly. Ray was able to stitch everything together with magic, I doubt you’ll scar much, if at all. But you went through the wringer.”

I gape at her before shifting and reaching up a hand. The pain level tells me when I get to those tender spots. She nods as I look at her. “Wow.”

She nods before turning tail. I relax onto all fours before following. Quickly we are sitting a good distance away, looking at the building where in excess of fifty ponies were tortured, and quite a few died. She lights her horn, letting herself accumulate aether as she reaches her magic out. A snap here, a creak there, then the building roof shifts. She groans as she keeps working. It’s fascinating to watch the building try valiantly to resist, but she’s relentless. In a matter of minutes, the building has collapsed into its own basement, a large dust cloud rising to the sky.

She pants as she looks over at me. “Ready to go home, love?”

I nod. “We haven’t found Dust.”

She nods. “But we will. And a certain human will pay the price.”