Irony's Tale

The last few weeks have been hell for me. We got back to Montana. Mindy has been spending most of her time talking with the ponies working for the Government. Cipher Splash has been forwarding everything she could think of for the ponies in Montana to search for Dust. We’ve been over the southern border a good half dozen times, each time we’ve come up empty. Though our knowledge of everything Spectrum has increased exponentially. They not only have their claws in their legitimate research, but they are also deep in the drug trade between the central and South American countries and the US.

A knock on my door brings me up from a light snooze. I look over as it slowly swings open, revealing the bright white mane of the party unicorn. It doesn’t have its usual bounce, but neither is it completely flat.

“Hi, Irony.” Mindy says.

I put a hoof to my lips, signaling quiet. Helen is pressed up against me, Moon Shadow is on the other side, both of them are sleeping, though Helen’s face, even in sleep, shows how troubled she is with the loss of Dust. Moon is likely roving the world of Dreams, trying to get some clue where our missing pegasus is.

Mindy takes a step into the room. “I’ve got a list of potential sites. But we don’t have anything really good to check them out.” She says, keeping her voice low in deference to the pony and human sleeping.

I nod. “Print out a map, cell service is probably spotty there. I’ll head down first thing in the morning.”

Mindy steps close to the bed, then brings her forehooves onto it, then hops her rear end up. With a little arranging, she’s between Moon and me, holding my barrel tightly. Between the loss of Soarin, and the taking of Lightning Dust, Mindy’s life has been turned upside down more than most. She usually sleeps close to Trixie, but quite often she’s snuggled up with me or with Helen. I don’t object, she needs the closeness.

“So, where are these sites?” I whisper.

“South America, you’ll have to cross the panama canal. Do you want a chariot?”

I frown. “No, I’ll drive down there, give me something to do rather than wait for a break.”

“Bring your armor, the last one we raided went up in flames right before we showed up. But there likely will be humans resisting. There’s a lot of drugs there. I wouldn’t be surprised if you encountered humans with a lot of guns. The whole area is cartel controlled, and likely on Spectrum’s payroll.”

I nod. “I’ll find her.”

****

The pegasus in Pennsylvania isn’t having the best of days. He’s sitting down on his office chair, looking at his bank information on his computer screen, then the rows of figures he’s been laboriously writing with the pencil in his mouth. No amount of figuring seems to prevent the final number from ending in the negative.

“How the hell am I going to get a job like this?” He murmurs softly. He closes his eyes to think. What did he do back in Equestria? Only a few moments has him opening his eyes and shaking his head. His memories are muddled, he doesn’t remember much more than being a member of the Royal Guard. He remembers some of the other ponies there. But his actual job within the guard? Not a clue. He sighs, lowering his head to the desk. “What can I do?” He moans. Food is easy, being a pony he can graze with other of his four legged brethren. But grass and hay is not the most appetizing of fair. Before all this, he had a nice little savings account, and the house and land was long since paid for. But paying for power, internet, water, propane, and he can’t forget the yearly tax bill for the property. He sighs, looking at the numbers. He’d emailed the ponies in Montana, and Mayor Mare had replied, they can offer financial help if he needs it. And also they offer training in weather control. Something in the recesses of his brain says that he can handle the weather, he’s tried pushing clouds around, and figured out how to make them rain on command. But in the end, would it be cheaper or easier to move out west? Join the other ponies? But what of ponies here in this part of the nation?

“Well, pegasi have lived as nomads, making their homes on ephemeral clouds and only really coming down for food.” He says softly to himself. But give up this home? Give up everything he’s got already? He snorts, no. Perhaps some of the farmers can use a weather pegasus?

A knock at the door causes his head to pop up. He hadn’t heard the sound of an engine, nor the crunch of wheels on the gravel road up to the house. Who in the hell is that? He hops from his chair and heads to the door. He looks at the door knob, gonna have to get some pony friendly ones, these round ones suck. He takes the knob in his teeth and turns his head to pull the door open.

He’s immediately glomped onto by a pony, the pegasus wraps her wings around him. “Oh Harts!”

“From DC, right?”

She nods. “You were right, some humans found us, one of the delivery drivers apparently saw one of us. Some guys, from someplace called Spectrum came and tried to round us all up. Most of us got away! We’ve been travelling at night, trying to keep away from the humans.” She stops and shudders. “We have to help them!”

“Hold up, hold up.” Harts Fire says quickly. “Help them?”

“Yeah! Two of us got captured. One earth pony, one unicorn. Coriander hasn’t even really figured out how to use his magic yet!”

Harts growls softly in his throat. “I’ll get them out, you know where they went?”

Another pegasus steps in the door, followed by two unicorns and five earth ponies. “I followed their van. No, they didn’t see me. I can take you to where they were brought.”

Harts nods as one of the unicorns, he remembered her from watching the show, she steps closer. “Please, they have my father!” She moans.

“Don’t worry Saffron, we will get your father back.” The impending financial doom temporarily forgotten, he brings the ponies into his house, time to do some planning.

***

The young woman bites her lower lip softly as she makes one last turn on the micro-torque wrench before checking the numbers. The surgeons had done a marvelous job of implanting the permanent mount and the bracket joint moves feely. Just a few weeks to heal and there is no more need for straps, no more chaffing. “There, now. That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Her patient doesn’t say a word, though she does get a kiss on the cheek, which says it all. A job worthy of a smile.

“Nuan, are you almost done?” Comes a voice from the other side of the door.

“Just finished.” She chirp, giving the dog a ruffle on the head.

The German shepherd part of the British 1st Military Working Dog Regiment had been attached to the Corps of Royal Engineers out of Al Asad Airbase. His job was to help with the detection and clearing of IED’s used by groups such as the DAESH.

She takes a moment to undo the straps holding the dog to the table so he didn’t struggle during the final fitting. He scrambles to his feet, looking back at the rod of aluminum sticking out from his hind leg, nosing it, trying to figure out what is now attached to where his leg was before.

She reaches out and pushes on his hip, causing him to put the new prosthesis to the table. The dog still seems rather confused. So she wraps her arms around him, lifting the six stone animal off the table and gently depositing him on the floor.

“Okay, try it out.” She murmurs softly. The dog puts weight on it, though it looks dubious as to the ability of the new leg to work. Only a few moments of walking has the dog smiling and wagging his tail. “See, it isn’t that bad at all, is it?”

Sometimes she is certain that the animals are talking back to her. She squats down, “With that, you can do anything you could before that nasty day that took your leg.” She reaches out and hugs the dog, getting the dog to hug her back, and shortly her face is covered in doggy kisses. She sputters a bit as she reaches out to grab the table to help heave herself back upright.

Grabbing the leash from the table she turns around. The dog notices the leash, getting a case of the zoomies, he jumps and starts running around the room, his tail wagging a mile a minute. His new leg giving him the speed and movement he had been without for the last several months. Not yet used to it, the dog slides around, slamming into desks and benches as he barks happily. As she fits the leash on the dog’s collar, she’s interrupted by a clearing of a throat. She looks up at her boss.

She smiles at her. “You are so good with our smaller patients.”

Chasing after the dog she grabs his collar and attaches the leash with a laugh. “It’s fine, just a little Kerfuffle, with a big,” She makes a raspberry F sound, “in the middle, he got excited at his…” Looking up, she sees the director had entered the room and is standing beside her supervisor. “And, I’ll stop talking now.” She takes a step back, drawing the leashed dog behind her, looking down.

“It’s okay, I’ve heard some good things about you,” The director says with a smile, “You work so well with the animal patients. I’ve got to head to the US in the morning, I want to you join me, we have a few special clients to see in California, Wyoming and Montana.”

Nuon smiles. “Oh, thank you for the opportunity!”

He nods, looking over at Nuan’s supervisor, Ileana. “Gotta show recognition to our young up and comers.”

She scratches her hip, something seemed to have bitten her on her thigh. She shakes her head. “I’m just trying to help, after all you did for me.”

Looking down at her leg, he takes a knee, “That’s one of ours. I never did hear what happened.” Ileana, smiles, “It happened when she was four, living back in Cambodia.”

“I was just a normal child, helping on my grandparents farm, I was playing out at the wooded edge of the property when I stepped on an old land mine. I lost my right leg just above the knee.” Rubbing her thigh, she looks down at her leg, “I was taken to the hospital.”

“Britton’s Department for International Development, and UK aid had been ramping up help for people there,” Ileana said and stroked Nuon’s head gently. “This was back when Bristol Robotics was just starting out.”

“UK Aid was doing what they could, and Bristol donated some early sized for kids.” Noun said, “They were clunky with really basic and simple systems in them, well those that had systems. It did get me interested in how they worked and looked.”

Standing up she looks down at the dog, “So, over the years, I went through a couple different ones as I grew, prosthetics don’t grow so we get lopsided at times, this led to the introduction of the adjustable length screws,”

Smiling she takes a seat and pats the dogs head, “UK Aid thought I had a talent, so they got me a grant to go to school in Hong Kong, I even did my internship there.”

“That was about the time our company broke off from Bristol? When we became Open Bionics?” The director asked.

“Yep, she got her engineering degree from Hong Kong University of Science and Technology on her twenty-second birthday, she was brought on full time.” Ileana said, “Well worth the investment.”

“I had worked in Hong Kong for two years as an unpaid intern during my final years at university, but after being hired I got my visa. I’ve spent the last nearly three years here in Bristol.”

“The hospitals here are a bit more advanced, so she decided to go through a similar surgery to what has been done with her current patient. A permanent mount grafted directly to the bone. It’s worked fantastically, her leg is made of titanium, with a strong knee joint and a sturdy treaded foot. She can walk on almost any surface, and she’s as fast as almost anyone with two fully functioning leg.” Ileana went on, “Hence her being a poster child for the office.”

“I’m not just a designer I’m a client too!” She chirps.

“Well, on Ileana’s suggestion, and because you’ve had the most experience with animals here.” He smiles nodding to Ileana, “We’ve had a request from across the pond.” The director says and holds up some papers. “I’ve gotten you a visa for work in America, we have been requested to help with some special clients in California, Wyoming, and Montana.”

“A trip to America?” She smiles then blinks, with all the crazy things that have been happening over the last few months. A US aircraft carrier attacked and damaged. Rumors of intelligent ponies abounding, like that video from DC a few months before, showing those ponies, some of them with wings?

“Is it… Safe?” She asks with a gulp.

Chuckling, the Director nods, “It’s not as bad as it seems on the news, besides you aren’t going to any of the places you see on the tele, the most important thing to remember though, is they drive on the wrong side of the road.” She nods and thinks of the videos of them attacking this crazy looking creature. The videos are gone now, and in their place, a lot of different videos proclaiming that they were some kind of disinformation campaign, 4chan or hackers trying to scare people. As usual, the conspiracy theory websites are abuzz with the new mess of the moment coming out of the US.

“I need to pack, I need to get ready, I need…”

“You need to breath,” Ileana says smiling, “You’ll be flying first class, its only for a few days, you only need to bring about three days of stuff. The flight leaves tonight, but we got you first class.” Standing up she nods and grabs the travel packet and runs for the door.

“Nuon?” Ileana calls out.

Stopping she turns back. “What?”

Pointing at the leash, “Are you planning on taking him to?”

Looking at the leash in her hand she quickly hands it to the director, “Oops, here sir.”

The director looks at the leash then at Ileana, as Nuon makes a break for it.

Smiling, she breaks out her phone as she heads down the halls, it’s only a few taps on her phone to order a BBlue taxi. The app lets her know the taxi would be there shortly, and she finds herself almost bouncing at the door waiting.

As the blue car pulls up she slides in and smiles, rambling off her home address as she opens the travel packet looking at her papers. America, she had heard stories about it, seen it on the tele, but never been there. Sitting she looks at the papers smiling.

“Ma’am?”

She feels herself getting shaken lightly, “Ma’am are you ok?”

Blinking she looks up and around quickly, “Oh man, sorry, so excited about the trip I completely lost track.”

Putting her packet away she paid the cab driver and ran up into her flat. It wasn’t a huge flat, a typical one bedroom with balcony, but it was affordable. She walks to her closet and grabs her suitcase, tossing it on the bed and then opens her dresser drawers. Really it only takes a few minutes to grab the clothes she will need in the US.

“Yoga pants and t-shirts for California, oh and a pair of shorts, it’s always supposed to be hot there.” She says, then looks at her closet again, “A few pairs of heavier jeans and a few long-sleeved shirts for Montana, I can probably pick up a parka there easy enough. Oh can’t forget my HKU hoodie.” Smiling she stops then picks up her Pho Real panda hoodie and tosses that in as well. Socks, nickers, sleepwear and… Looking around she makes a quick run through the bathroom to brush her hair and wash her face. Looking at herself in the mirror for a moment she sticks her tongue out pulling down lightly on her right eye, then dumps her toiletries in a small bag and tosses it into the bag.

Tapping her phone, she checks the time then eeps. “Can’t miss the Paddington Express.”

Grabbing her case, she quickly locks the door and jogs to the station. It’s almost a two-hour ride to Paddington station, before she can transfer to the Heathrow shuttle, but it gives her a bit more time to look at her travel folder. Her boarding pass for her flight, along with her full itinerary. American Airlines Flight AA135 London Heathrow to LAX leaving in… She glances at her watch, 1715, so she’s got a bit over three hours to get there. Leaning back in her seat and thumbs through her text messages with a little sigh. Tilting her head, she smiles at cyber birthday cards from several of her coworkers and a few friends. ‘Happy Birthday!’ ‘Happy 25th, you’re an old hag now.’ ‘You’re 25, when am I getting grand children?’ “Mom…” She grumbles lightly before laughing. She shakes her head as she slides the phone into her pocket, it still occasionally dinging with new messages.

The ride is uneventful, so is getting to her gate. One of the Mobility Movers had picked her up and brought her to the security check in. It went faster than she thought it would, but all her documents were so clearly laid out, security didn’t even ask her questions. Even the leg was in the documents for the screening. Arriving at the gate she sees her boss waiting, sitting in a chair with an open airline pamphlet.

Looking over her shoulder then at the time she shook her head, “But, how… I thought I was fast.”

“I teleported,” He says closing the pamphlet.

“Huh?” She blinks looking confused, “how, what?”

“I was already packed, and the company car was waiting for me. I then caught the earlier shuttle train, I had some business here, and wanted to make sure security didn’t have a problem with your prosthetics.”

“I.. oh… Thanks.” Blushing, she looks down and smiles.

“Besides, I figured this trip would be a good birthday present, since you couldn’t get home to see your parents this year.”

“Boarding Flight…”

Looking up he smiles, “That’s us.” Standing up he moves into the Mobility unit and sits down as it begins heading down the jetway to the 777 widebody. Both of them head into the first-class cabin. Her laptop bag makes it into the overhead bin, and she sits down in the seat, buckling herself in. She looks around at the comfortable seating at the front of the huge airliner. She settles down to watch the rest of the people file slowly in and find their own seats.

Not too much later, the heavy plane leaves the ground behind and climbs towards thirty-five thousand feet for its eleven and a half hour flight not only across the Atlantic Ocean, but across nearly the entirety of the US mainland.

The moment the seatbelt light is extinguished, she jerks to her feet. “Gotta pee, gotta pee, gotta pee.” She murmurs as she quickly heads down the aisle looking for an unoccupied lav. She opens the door to the lav and squeezes in, her small size makes it much easier than some of the other people aboard the flight. In fact, once inside, she finds herself having a fair amount of space to move around, with large mirrors on the door and over the sink. For users to adjust their clothing and touch up makeup on this long haul flight.

She quickly peels down her pants, she wastes no time, sitting down she sighs and looks at her hair in the mirror. Her business there concludes rather quickly, and she reaches to grab some tissue, turning slightly to reach the roll. Something catches her eye, however. A bruise on her upper thigh. Turning slightly more to show her hip in the mirror, she stops.

The purple she thought was a bruise is actually some kind of tattoo or imprint that looks like three balls of yard, boldly emblazoned on her leg. The one in the center is purple, with two needles sticking through it. A yellow and a pink one flank the bigger one in the middle. A quick look at the other thigh shows an identical mark there. She shakes her head, taking a moment to try to understand what she’s seeing. She finishes and deposits the tissue into the toilet before standing up and looking at her thigh in the mirror. She shakes her head, taking a moment to try to understand what she’s seeing. She scratches the mark, and no, it doesn’t come off.

“I haven’t been drunk, have I?” She searches back in her memory; she hadn’t been drunk in the last several months. Why is this on her thigh? She inhales deeply.

The scream from the lavatory alerts everyone on the plane, two of the attendants dash towards the lav, taking a moment to override the interior lock and forcing the door open. They find Nuon crumpled on the floor, her pants around her ankles. “Kerfuffle, what’s wrong?” The younger flight attendant asks, reaching out to shake the poor woman.

***

I slam the trunk on my beloved car. I’ve got a long drive ahead of me. Mindy has provided several maps of my route, along with a listing of places I can fuel up without causing too much of a stir. I don’t want to take anypony with me, not without confirmation of Dust’s presence.

I turn around and something is floating in front of my face, held in the orange umbra of Mindy’s magic. “It’s a satphone.” She chirps. “It doesn’t have a very good data connection, you’ll have to depend on cell towers for that. But with this, you’ll be able to call me anytime, and I’ll have my phone on me at all times. You let us know where Dust is, and we’ll get a chariot down there lickety split.”

I pocket the phone, offering a quick smile to the unicorn. By Celestia is good to actually be doing something for a change. A quick glance on the navigation on my phone shows it’s a twenty-six hour drive just to the US-Mexican border. Thanks to some strings being pulled, I’ve got a new passport with my pony identification, so crossing over the border shouldn’t be too much of an issue. Ponies aren’t really in the public eye, but the current administration has been fast tracking everything to get legal status so the ponies can have the same rights and freedoms that the humans have. Though there are no guarantees after I cross over that border. We’ve been assured that the border patrol knows we exist. Though some of the Podunk sheriffs all over the nation are still clueless. I’m going to have to keep to the speed limit, and drive conservatively to make sure that I don’t attract any undue attention. Moon Shadow steps closer. “I found a cheap crystal at the rock shop in town.” She says, pointing to the crystal now hanging from the rear view mirror. “I’ll charge it, should give you a few days of people being unable to really notice what’s going on inside the car.” Her horn lights and she closes her eyes. A muted flash from the crystal has her smiling brightly at me. “Please, Irony. Find her.”

I reach down and pick up Moon, hugging her tightly. “I’ll find her, Moon. I promise.”