Goldenpie

M ran her fingers along the arm holder of her office chair. She watched the skin of her old dented hands bend into long lines from root to top. Only yesterday it felt like those old hands had belonged to a young woman, now they belonged to a grumpy old witch with the very power of life and death at her disposal. She had her pointing finger write an invisible letter on the handle. The letter spelled B.

Her mind circulated around Bond. She still had confidence in him, still she could’t get her head around the events that occurred on his mission in Byelomorye several years ago. How accommodable it had been by Alec to finish the job all by himself. What a coincidence that Ourumov had showed up, giving the suspicions she already had on him. Could it be true that the Goldeneye truly exists? If so, what if Ourumov confirms her suspicions and betrays his country and steals it.

The analysts of MI6 were divided wether he actually fits the profile of a traitor, she herself wished that the theme of that conversation showed itself being what it suggests. Still she had a bad feeling about his calculating mind, the same calculating mind that now seemed to have helped him acquire a general title in the Russian army.

Yes, she had a bad feeling about him, mostly because he reminded her of her own calculating mind. How many women and male friends had she herself lost along the way to acquire this high position? How many numbers did she had on her cellphone that once called her out for dinners and parties but now stayed silent in the wake of her powers?

There were the sound of a door handle being pulled. M looked up and faced the door. A familiar figure walked in.

James Bond took one step into Ms office. He watched her old face glaring at him. As the case with all their encounters, her face appeared to be stuck in a infinite frowning position. He felt calm, but for some reason his mind still circulated around his failure at the Byelomorye Dam all those years ago. It wasn't that he was embarrassed by it in any way, as far as he knew he was fully capable of accepting this failure and move on. Still, he felt like he was reliving that same failed jump from the dam over and over again. How strange it may be, it almost felt like that one moment was some kind of turning point in space and time, like the things he were about to say here and now, in this very office, would have been completely different if he had been successful. He could feel himself dangling right now, bouncing up and down, even though he were standing in M’s office.

“Oh, there you are Bond.” M said. Her face met bonds confident smile. He opened his mouth. His perfectly formed white teeth showed pearly white as he exclaimed.

“OAAAAH!”

Ms looked at bond. Her constantly frowning face showed no sign of a reaction. She pointed her hand at the visitors chair.

“Have a seat.”

Bond stepped into the office. His calm face scanned the scenery. The room was brown in its whole, diplomas hanging on the wooden walls. M got up as Bond sat down in the visitors chair.

“Would you care for a drink?”

James Bond nodded.

“OAAAAH!”

James scream subdued inside the dense office

“I prefer bourbon.” M said calmly while opening the linker cabinet. After she had poured the drink she sat down and faced Bond. She pressed some buttons on the desk. Behind her a TV screen showed a picture of Ourumov.

“Recognize him?” M asked

James Bond looked at the screen, then at M.

“OAAAAH!”

M did not react.

“He sees himself as the next iron man of Russia, which is why our political analysts rule him out, he doesn’t fit the profile of a traitor.”

James Bond and M looked at each other silently for almost a half minute. James Bonds mouth bent sideways, forming a confident smile. His finger rested underneath his mouth in a confounding manner.

“OAAAAH!”

M, played by Dame Judie Dench, looked frowning at bond like he hadn’t said anything for half an hour. She raised her glass to take sip of the bourbon, but then changed her mind. The ice made chiming sounds against the glass inside the drink.

“You don’t like me Bond. You don't like my methods. You think I'm an accountant, a bean counter more interested in my numbers in your instincts.”

Bond took another sip of the drink. He lowered his glass. He opened his mouth wide.

“OAAAAH!”

“Good...” M said blankly. “...Because i think you’re a sexist misogynist dinosaur, a relic of the cold war who's boyish charms they wasted on me obviously appeal to all those young women i sent out to evaluate you.”

Bond nodded his head.

“OAAAAH!” He blasted.

“Not quite 007.” M seemed to answer an unspoken statement. “If you think for one moment i don't have the balls to send a man out to die your instincts are dead wrong, i have no compunction about sending you to your death, but i won't do it on a whim, even with your cavalier attitude towards life.

M leaned herself forward from her arm chair, bringing her authoritarian eyes closer to Bond as she gave him his mission.

“I want you to find out if goldeneye exists, if so i want you to find out if Ourumov plans to steal it. If that turns out to be the case i want you to find out what he plans to do with it and stop it.”

M leaned back into her chair again.

“Our intel indicates that the place to start looking might be an old satellite station, located in Severnaya in Siberia. Your college Alec will be waiting for you there.”

James Bond took another sip of the drink. He lowered his glass. His handsome eyes looked at M confidently. He opened his mouth wide.

“OAAAAH!”

Back in Equestria the entire scene was witnessed via a TV screen. The faces there were not as frowning as Dame Judie Dench. Twilight Sparkle wanted to be serious and find out why this scene she remembered so well from the movie had changed so much. But her mouth still formed into a laughter. Her alicorn body bumped by her held in chuckles. Behind her Apple Jack had tears in her eyes from laughing. Rainbow Dash along with Peter Dinklage and Ash Ketchum were on the ground holding their stomachs. They were laughing so hard they couldn't breathe. Outside the window Littlefoot did the same on the grass. Rainbow Dashs raspy voice came in hoarse intervals between her chuckles.

“Why...h...Why...Haha...Why? James Bond?”

“Poor man. What has gotten into him?” Rarity said sympathetically.

“Stop laughing you guys, it isn’t funny!” Fluttershy scolded.

"Woa...ha...h...Why...Fluttershy? Why are you such a dry head?" Rainbow Dash asked while still laughing.

"Why? Because this could be serious Rainbow Dash. You heard what Twilight said, if the story is altered then our friends wont be able to get home." Fluttershy said with her usual edge.

"Wah...ha...h...You know, Fluttershy. You realy need to cheer up." Rainbow Dash urged.

“H...h...What...What just happened...” Peter Dinklage tried to talk.

Pikachu looked confounding at the scene in front of him outside, not inside, the movie. He had no idea what just happened.

“Pikaaaaa...” He wailed while scraping his head. Littlefoot poked his head through the window again, still laughing.

“WaH...Wah...Was this a action movie or a comedy? Remind me again.”

Twilight paused the tape.

“Something must have caused the dialogue in this scene to change.” Twilights mouth bent in bewilderment. “But why is M still saying the same things that she said in the original script? It doesn’t make any sense.”

“But she didn’t Twilight.” Rarity reminded. Rarity, the white unicorn and renowned dressmaker in Ponyville, had a better sense of detail that any other individual in the group. Twilight turned to Rarity

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“I remember it from the first time we watched this scene the last evening. First of all, it takes place in the wrong order. This scene is supposed to take place after that helicopter theft and after Ourumov kills everyone inside that satellite station. Second of all the theme discussed is all wrong, James Bond and M is supposed to talk about the Janus group and their supposed involvement in both these acts.”

“Wow. What a memory you have.” Ash complimented Rarity.

“It comes with the art of dressmaking.” Rarity said hoity toity.

“The Janus group.” Twilight said. “Wasn’t that the terrorist group that Alec became the leader of?

“Yes it was, which brings me to the third, and probably the most important difference of all.” Rarity paused for a dramatic effect.

“In this scene M says that Alec is waiting for Bond outside that satellite station, but in the original version he is believed to be dead.”

Twilight felt her breath get caught. Her eyes widened in realization.

“Well of course! Alec blew up that facility in the beginning, not Bond. In the original movie Alec is shot by that Ouroromofof our whatever his name was, or fakes his death supposedly, and left to be scarred by the explosion.”

There was a short silence. Rarity looked at Twilight with big eyes as if to say ‘You got this darling’. Twilight continued.

“...And later in the movie, years after the facility blows up, inside that cemetery filled with human statues i remember, James Bond discovers that Alec is the leader of the Janus group. It is then that Alec tells Bond that his father killed his mother after being betrayed by the Bonds government...”

“Yes, yes darling, that is a good motive. Your family being betrayed, governmental plot lines and intrigues, lifelong plans for revenge.” Rarity spoke the last part dramatically. She continued in a soft tone.

“But James Bond were Alecs best friend, probably the only friend that he had. In the original plot James Bond set the timer of the facility bomb at 3 minutes instead of 6. Now remind me darling, what was it that Alec said to Bond at the end of that eerie cemetery scene?”

Twilight looked at Rarity. Raritys beautiful eyes laid themselves like sheets over Twilight. Twilights entire carrier as a friendship mender helped her remember.

“It was not God that gave me this face...” Twilight recalled Alecs words to Bond.

“...It was you.” Twilight and Rarity both said at the same time.

“In the original movie Alec betrays MI6, but in this version Alec decides to not follow through with his betrayal plans because he is still friends with James Bond.” Twilight said.

“Which means...?” Rarity asked. Twilight looked dead into the air before answering in a half whisper.

“...That the Janus group doesn’t exist.”

There was a moment of silence. Twilight looked at Rarity again.

“But how are we gonna set the movie back on track then? How are we gonna get our friends home if...?” Twilight paused as she came into realization. Raritys eyebrows lowered into sadness while looking at Twilight.

“We need to break James Bond and Alec Trevelyan's friendship.” Twilight concluded with a hoarse voice.

“It is regrettable, but it is probably the only way. The change is to major to be left as it is if we ever want to see our friends again.” Rarity pointed out.

Twilight lowered her head and closed her eyes. Her horn gave a glow.

“Starlight?” She transmitted.

Back inside the movie Starlight opened her eyes. She felt a biting sensation as the cold winter wind blew against her pupils. She looked around. She could barely see anything due to the raging snow storm. There were the sound of dogs whimpering. Starlight turned her head. The dogs seemed to be tied onto some kind of sleigh. It was now that Starlight heard Twilights calling.

“Starlight?” Twilight called.

“Twilight?” Starlight answered.

“Starlight. Is Alec still with you?” Twilight asked.

“Alec? Who is Alec?”

“The character played by Sean Bean, is he still with you?”

Starlight looked around. She saw Pinkie Pies curly mane raise itself ahead. She couldn't see Trixie.

“I don’t know, and Trixie seemed to be gone to. It looks like we’ll have to find her.” Starlight said.

There was a short moment of silence, the raging wind of the storm being the only one talking. Twilight sighed

“Thats brilliant news.” Twilight said sarcastically. “Well, We’ll se if we can’t find her on the TV screen. If we do i’ll be sure to let you know.”

“Thanks Twilight.” Starlight said.

“And by the way...” Twilight paused. “If you were to come across James Bond and Alec Trevelyan...” Twilight hesitated.

“Yes Twilight?” Starlight asked

“...If you were to come across them you'll need to find a way...” Twilight hesitated again. She sighed before saying it in a low voice.”...You need to brake up their friendship.” Twilights voice almost cracked.

“What?!” Starlight exclaimed bewildered. She couldn't believe the words coming from the princess of friendship.

Twilight explained to Starlight how the breakup was the only way to get them home again. Starlight Glimmer still felt gratitude for Alec for saving their lives. She wanted to scream at Twilight for wanting him to turn into a bad guy. But she heard that Twilight was as sad as she was, and after thinking about it herself she could also see why it was necessary. Starlight sighed.

“I see. Alright Twilight, i’ll se what i can do.” Starlight answered.

The transmission ended abruptly.

Back in Equestria Twilight raised her head. She snorted. Her eyes sparkled with tears as she opened them. Rarity walked up and laid her hoof around Twilights back.

“If it helps in any way, it is just a movie.” Rarity said. Twilight snorted again.

“If it is...” Twilight said and turned to Rarity. “...then why do the characters inside feel so alive.”

Trixie felt cold clinker stone underneath her belly as she laid down. She opened her eyes. They watered as they got used to the light coming from the roof inside what looked like a kitchen. Trixie moaned and raised her head. On the right wall there were an opening to a large area. She could hear talking outside and the pressing of small buttons. It sounded like humans using electronic devices.

Trixie felt her heart beat. She had no idea where she was, but she had a feeling that she probably shouldn't not be there. She got up on her four hoofs and took one step forward. Her flank touched a dinner plate laying on the desk beside her. The plate fell down onto the hard floor. There was a loud crash. Trixie panicked. She accidentally kicked the dinner plate forward, causing it to slide forward. The dentals on the clinker floor could be heard in intervals as the dinner plate didn't stop until it laid between Trixie and the doorway.

Data programmer Natalya Simonova was on her way to get some coffee when she heard a loud crashing inside the kitchen. Curious she went to see what it was.

As Natalya entered the kitchen her eyes festered upon a sight that would stay with her for the rest of her life. Right in front of her there was a pony, but not like any pony. This pony seemed to have an unnatural colorful appearance. She was dark blue and had a white mane with a magician hat and robe. She looked at Natalya with diminished pupils, her hooves shaking.

Natalya felt the scream laying at the tip of her tongue, but as she looked into the horrified eyes of the dark blue pony she realized that it posed no danger. She wondered were it came from. Should she call the guards? Unbeknownst to Natalya, while she was pondering about all this, a scene of nightmares was about to take place.

Ourumov were standing right in front of the entrance to the station. At his side he had his accomplice, a woman named Xenia Onatopp, an assassin that he had hired to help with the crime that he was about to commit. It was always better to leave the dirty work to either ground people or, in this case, a woman Ourumov thought.

In front of him all the programmers were facing him, believing him to be a loyal general. He had just ordered a test fire of the goldeneye. Ourumov’s plan was to eliminate everyone inside the station once he had been given the Goldeneye, an object shaped like a large disc with a orange core that indeed looked like a golden eye. He would then travel to a secret place where, unbeknownst to his government, another Goldeneye satellite would be within contact reach. But not before launching this Goldeneye satellite, targeting this station. The satellite would upon fire send out and electro magnetic pulse that would then fry everything running on electricity, wiping out any evidence of him being there.

The major approached Ourumov now and reached out his arms. He held the two golden keys used to initiate the countdown in his right hand and the Goldeneye in his left hand. Ourumov reached out and grabbed all three objects.

“Good.” Ourumov said and looked at his watch. “Thank you major.”

There then were the sound of a spring being pulled on a automatic weapon. Xenia stepped forward and pulled the trigger.

Trixie gasped when she heard the all to familiar sound of a automatic weapon being fired. Horrified Natalya turned around, accidentally putting her right foot on top of the dinner plate that Trixie had kicked. The dinner plate went sliding out of the kitchen, Natalya riding it with one foot. Her left leg stretched up into the air like an ice dancer about to preform a trick as she skated out to certain death. Trixie heard Natalya scream, the crashing of the dinner plate hitting the floor and the moaning of Xenia Onatopp, enjoying her kills like a lover enjoying the touch of her loved one.

Back in Equestria the ponies saw everything except Natalya’s fate on the TV screen. One by one the scientists and programmers was gunned down by the psychotic mad woman.

“Such violence.” Littlefoot remarked disdainfully.

“Pika pika.” Pikachu agreed.

Peter Dinklage wailed around and looked at Littlefoot, his right eye squinted.

“Ever seen Game Of Thrones?” He asked.

‘Such awesomeness!’ Rainbow Dash almost exclaimed but held her mouth. The horrible moments that would soon follow she would come to show herself being lucky for not saying anything.

After the shooting had stopped the ponies saw Xenia standing over all the people that she had killed, pools of blood forming underneath their bodies. Xenia smiled and moaned in pleasure.

“What a despicable lady!” Rarity stated in disdain.

“But you have already seen her once Rarity.” Rainbow Dash reminded, referring to the last evening the ponies saw Goldeneye.

“Yea, But in her case, every time feels like the first time!” Rarity said.

The scene now changed to the kitchen. Twilight gasped.

“Look! There’s Trixie!” Twilight exclaimed. Just as Twilight said this they saw Trixie bump a coffee cup. It fell down and shattered against the hard clinker floor. The movie then showed Xenia and Ourumov react to the sound.

“Go and check it out.” Ourumov ordered Xenia.

Panic spread amongst the movie viewers, way to horrified to wonder were Natalya had gone.

“Oh no, we have to do something!” Fluttershy wailed

“Don’t let that horrible woman find her!” Rarity shouted.

Twilights found herself paralyzed. She was about to signal Starlight glimmer. Instead she felt the powerlessness fall over her like day fever.

Trixie panicked. She tried to gallop and hide in one of the furnitures but slipped on a coffee stain and fell down to her back. She got up again. She was in the middle of her first hoof step when she froze. Xenia looked at her. Her pleasuring smile of death tore right into Trixie. She aimed her weapon at her. Trixie closed her eyes, ready for the eternal darkness. The silence festered itself inside the kitchen. Xenia looked in bewilderment at the strange pony.

‘What a beautiful creature.’ The thought raced through her mind.

‘To beautiful to simply get shot.’

Xenia lowered her weapon. Trixie opened her eyes. She calmed down once she saw that the human woman had lowered her gun. The calmness would turn out to be short lived.

Xenia looked lustfully at Trixie as she came walking toward her. Xenia pulled out a whip from her belt. She threw her arm around. Trixie felt a burning pain over the side of her flank. She screamed and fell down to the floor. What followed was a minute of misery for Trixie. Xenia moaned for every whipping she threw. All that Trixie could do was to lay on the floor and protect her face. She screamed in pain every time, sometimes before the whip even hit her.

There was a flash. Xenia looked behind Trixie, her face twisted in disbelief. Starlight Glimmers angry face had it’s white teeth growling. There was a laser sound. Xenia gasped and was thrown back several feet and hit the clinker wall. As she laid on the floor she reached for her weapon. Starlights horn gave another glow. Xenia roared before the kitchen was filled with loud gun blasts. The counter behind Starlight and Trixie obliterated by the bullets, but Starlight and Trixie had disappeared out of thin air. Xenia’s face dropped in disappointment.

Trixie felt relief once the cold winter air wrapped itself around her body, still burning from Xenia's whipping.

“Trixie. Are you alright.” Starlight asked.

Trixie looked at Starlight, her eyes filled with tears.

“Starlight.” She cried.

Trixie and Starlight hugged each other in the raging snow storm.

The whiteness of the storm was overwhelming. It covered both the ground, the air and in most cases the sky above. Everything else was either dark patches or gray, being forms of trees and other objects behind its thick inferno. Yes, in most cases this would be described as a white world with one occasional dark and gray patch. Seldom would anyone say that this was a world belonging to the shade of pink.

An yet that was exactly how anyone would describe it once they saw the jumping pink shape of Pinkie Pie. Her happy smile contrasted the storms melancholic nature. For some reason the thick snow below did not hinder her from jumping up and down into the air like she was on a trampoline. How happy the darkest parts of the world would be if only one would only dare to smile, and what better pony to lead that smile revolution than Pinkie Pie?

Pinkie Pie stopped jumping. She stared dead into the rage of the winter. A large smile formed on her pink face.

“Hi there, my name is Pinkie Pie! Nice to finally meet you again.”

There were only snow in front of Pinkie Pie. She appeared to be talking into thin air. Pinkie Pie kept on smiling.

“Sure, if you want to play hide and seek thats fine! Im up for anything really.”

Alec had no idea how the pink pony that said her name was Pinkie Pie could se him while in his MI6 approved winter camouflage. But then it suddenly dawned for him. It was the same pink pony that he had encountered in Byelomorye all those years ago.

The snow rose itself in front of Pinkie Pie. The human squinted his eyes against the storm as he looked at her.

“How did you know i was here?” Alec asked.

Pinkie Pie started jumping up and down again.

“Sometimes, when i play hide and seek, i'm having trouble finding ponies underneath the water, underneath the sand have also been a challenge for me but underneath the snow have always been extra challenging for me. Unless you’re hiding inside a small drawer, which i did once, then i’ll be finding you in no time. Shall we play again!?” Pinkie Pies ear piercing voice cut through the snow storm.

Alec turned his head to the side. He made an ‘all clear’ motion with his hand. There were another snow mountain rising, revealing a human figure.

“My name is Alec Trevelyan, and this is my college.” Alec said and pointed toward the mountain.

Pinkie Pie turned around. The handsome human looked at Pinkie Pie. He opened his mouth wide.

“OAAAAH!”

Pinkie Pie smiled.

“Well hello Oaaaah. Nice to meet you!”

Trixie and Starlight thought they saw shapes in front of them. One of the shapes was jumping up and down. It was formed as a pony and was pink.

“Pinkie Pie!” Starlight exclaimed in the roar of the storm.

“Well. There you are to.” Alec said as he saw Trixie and Starlight.

“Hi Sean. I cannot thank you enough for saving our lives back there.”

“Who is Sean?” Alec asked while laughing.

Starlight now remembered that in the movie the characters only knew them as themselves. Starlight laughed nervously.

“Oh. hehe. Sorry, wrong name. Still I'm very thankful mr...?” Starlight pretended to not know his characters name.

“Alec, Alec Trevelyan, and this is my colleague.” Alec said politely and motioned the man Starlight remembered were called James. James Bond looked at Starlight.

“OAAAAH!” He blasted.

Starlights pupils diminished.

“Eh, hehehe... mm. Well, nice to finally meet you James.”

Alec Trevelyan faced Starlight

“I would also like to thank you Starlight for helping me complete that mission all those years ago...”

“Years ago?!” Starlight exclaimed.

“Yes. Don’t you remember?”

There was a voice inside Starlights head.

“Starlight. There has been a time jump in the movie. The attack in Severnaya takes place nine years after the dam mission.” Twilight informed Starlight.

“Oh, hehe, right. Well you already know me Alec. James, my name is Starlight Glimmer, and these are my friends Trixie and Pinkie Pie.” Starlight motioned the ponies.

James Bond looked over at the ponies. He smiled handsomely.

“OAAAAH!”

Trixie was taken a back. She frowned

“Well, hi there cave man.” Se said.

Back in Equestria the questions flowed like a raging river.

“Why are Starlight, Pinkie and Trixie the only ones that react to James Bond shouting like that?” Apple Jack asked.

“I don’t know.” Twilight said in a whisper.

Unbeknownst to Twilight and Apple Jack a certain longneck had been pondering the same question ever since M and James Bond had their meeting inside M’s office. Littlefoots mouth bent sideways as he was thinking.

‘Could it possibly be because...?’ Littlefoots theory wasn’t quite finished for presentation yet.

Back in the movie Alec picked up his radio.

“Well, lets call in. Obviously there is nothing here to report.”

“Yes there is!” Trixie exclaimed. Alec looked at her. Trixie described everything that she saw inside the station.

“Well. Looks like M’s suspicions about him were right after all.” Alec said, referring to Ourumov. “And looks like the Goldeneye exists also.”

Alec looked at Trixie. He thought he saw bruises around her mane.

“You know, You’r a very brave one Trixie. A lot of more people would probably have died if it weren't for you telling us this.” Alec praised.

Trixie smiled. Her blushed smile slowly transformed into prideful one.

“Well, thats because i am the one and only, The Great Powerful Trixie!” Trixie stood up on her back hooves and pointed her front hooves into the air. There were scenery fireworks in the background. Alec laughed.

Alec picked up his radio and pushed the transmitting button. He was just about to radio in his report when there was a pulsating blast. Alec threw his head around in bewilderment. Once he looked at his radio again it had blacked out. He tried to hit it with his hand several times but it was dead. There was another pulsating sound. It rumbled the ground. The radio that Alec had in his hand caught fire.

“Oaaaah!” He exclaimed and threw it into the snow.

“OAAAAH!” James Bond blasted.

There were a loud explosion behind them. The entire group of humans and ponies wailed around and gasped. The Severnaya station with antenna and everything exploded into an inferno of electric currents. There were the sound of a jet plane above.

“What is happening!” Trixie exclaimed frightened.

“What... is... HAPPENING!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed exited with a large smile on her face.

“EMP! Get down!” Alec shouted.

Starlight threw herself down into the snow. The roaring sound of the Jet plane came from above. Starlight held her ears and looked toward the station. The ground rumbled underneath her hooves as the fighter plane, paralyzed by the Goldeneye pulse, crashed into the snow. It then bounced forward. Its journey ended forever once it rammed the antenna. The white world of snow lit up like a sunny day as both the jet plane and the antenna was engulfed in a huge inferno of fire and flying debris.

After the explosion had died down into a simple fire Alec got up on his feet.

“Well. Looks like we'll have to get out of here the old fashion way.” He said and looked to the right. Starlight looked in the same direction. She saw the dogs tied to a sleigh that she had spotted earlier.

Xenia Onatopp turned the wheel on her binoculars. The clearing image showed two humans and the cute colorful ponies take of in a dog sleigh. She recognized James Bond. She hoped that he wouldn’t become a problem. Ourumov had already left in the pulse proof helicopter that they had stolen earlier, the Goldeneye safely in his possession. When she had told Ourumov about the two ponies that escaped the station he had ordered her to stay behind and deal with the loose ends. But there were no need for worry. Before their knowledge became a problem she would have already filled them both with love, and bullets.