Shivered Timbers' Sexty Minute Ponies

In Thirds
by Shivered Timbers

(Prompt: A Cutie Mark Crusader, now grown, returns to Ponyville.)

"Spiffin', that's what I calls 'er."

"Good Celestia, she's gorgeous."

"Really filled out since last we saw 'er. Should we go say hi?"

"Us?" She gives me a pointed look. "A big star like her? There's no way she'd remember us."

Din's got a point. I remember the headline well: "Ponyville's Teenaged Operatic Sensation!" She's been touring Manehattan and Canterlot and probably points beyond by now. Who'd ever want to remember dull old Ponyville when you've got that going for you?

Yet, here she is, back home and looking slightly distraught.

"Y'know what, forget it. I've got nothin' to lose. Worst case, she blows me off."

Din snorts, and I trot over to the door of Carousel Boutique, where the lovely Miss Belle is currently fussing with her sunglasses, and trying not to look like she's about to cry.

"I say, it's Sweetie Belle, isn't it?" I put on my best tourist-placating grin. She startles at my voice, and turns swiftly.

"Oh my goodness!" Her voice is like her name, sweet bells tinkling in a spring breeze. "You startled me!"

"Well, that much is obvious. I couldn't help but notice you're back in Ponyville after a long absence, and just wanted to say welcome back!"

"Oh, th-thank you, that's very kind."

I notice by the tilt of her head that she's checking my cutie mark. No way she'd have seen it before she left.

"Who do I have to thank?"

"Pip's the name, of Pip's Passages!"

I see the gears turn in her head, even behind the dark lenses. Realization dawns quickly, a pleasant and lovely surprise.

"Pipsqueak? Pipsqueak the pirate?"

I show my teeth. "One and the same! Nopony uses the 'squeak' anymore though. It's just Pip."

She throws her hooves around me and squeezes tight.

"Oh, it's so good to see you! I just got back and it's like everypony suddenly up and disappeared, but you I remember!"

Well, well. I'm aware that two eyes are boring into the back of my skull, so I force a cough and turn out of her enthusiastic embrace.

"Dear, look who I found," I say, emphasizing the 'dear' and pretending like we hadn't been gawking at her for the five minutes prior to this encounter. "It's our old friend Sweetie Belle, back from Canterlot and parts unknown!"

"Oh my." Sweetie's obviously putting up the 'angry marefriend' defense. She has no idea.

"Welcome back," Din says kindly, lowering her head. Sweetie returns the gesture and their horns touch, an old unicorn greeting.

"Weren't, eh... Weren't you two in the same class, hmm? Mayhap you remember each other..."

Sweetie squints behind her glasses. "Grey unicorn, blond mane... I'm not placing the cutie mark..."

"Maybe you'd remember my mother," Din says with a light smile. "Ponyville's clumsiest mailmare?"

"Dinky Hooves!" Sweetie's face lights up and the only thing that stops her from embracing Din as enthusiastically as she had me is the cold glare from the aforementioned.

"Call him Pipsqueak all you like," she says icily, "but it's just Din."

Sweetie makes an embarrassed face. "Din. It's nice to see you again."

"Likewise!" Din's really laying it on thick, all fake smiles and friendly fervor.

"So, d'you 'ave any plans?" I ask, not wanting that conversational thread to continue further.

"Well, I had been hoping to visit friends and family," Sweetie says, lifting her shades up to sit around her horn. "But Rarity it seems is out of town. I mean, I was going to surprise her, so it's not a shock that she's not here, but I'd been hoping."

My heart pangs for the girl. She always did look up to her sister.

"As for my friends, Scootaloo's touring with the Wonderbolts right now -- that much I knew beforehand -- but I've got no idea where Apple Bloom is."

I look to Din, who shrugs.

"You tried the farm, right?"

"Well..." Sweetie pulls a face. "I'm not so accustomed to farm life anymore. The dirt and all that, you see. I was more hoping she'd be selling apples in the town square. But, well, she doesn't do that much anymore, what with the homebuilding business and all..."

"We're your friends, aren't we, Din?"

She gives me that look that says, 'You left the icebox door open and took nothing out, what is wrong with you?'

"Absolutely!" That grin gets a lot of mileage. "Fate brought us all together here, to see that you're not lonely while you're back home."

"When you put it that way, Pip, it does seem like good fortune that I ran into you both!" Sweetie's smiling now. Time to get to work.

"Then I ask, neigh, insist, that you join us for a welcome-home drink! It'll help relieve some of the stress you're no doubt experiencing." She hesitates; I go for the kill. "Unless, of course, you'll only be here a short while."

"Oh, no, I have a whole week's vacation time."

"Splendid!" I grin at Din. She's not amused. "Come on, drinks are on me! We'll show you a good time until your friends show up!"

She's a real lightweight, turns out. The bar patrons are all excited to see her back in town, even if they don't know her personally, and after a glass of wine -- expensive tastes! -- she's on a table in the middle of the pub, singing for them. After three songs, she rejoins us amidst clamoring for an encore, and Din goes to powder her nose. Fillies.

"So. Are you two, uhh...?"

I smile at her. I am not half as drunk as she looks. "Dating. Have been for a few years now."

She pokes me in the chest. "You popped the question, Pip? Hah, Pip pop, that's funny!"

I clear my throat. "More wine, Sweetie?" She nods, and I pour, while snaking a hoof around to her bum. She squeaks when I make contact, and gives me a wild-eyed stare.

"I say, are you trying to take advantage of me, good sir?"

"Perhaps." I wag my eyebrows. "Only if you want me to, of course."

"But you just said..." She waves a hoof enigmatically at the loo.

"Din's very, shall we say, open to certain things."

"Oh. Ohhh!" She gives a haughty sniff. "Well, Mr. Squeak, if I may call you that, I will have you know that I am three sheets to wind at the moment, and you should learn to treat a lady better."

My heart sinks. This has always worked!

"That said, I think I wouldn't mind it even if I were sober." She leans, almost falls, forward, and kisses me roughly. This is what I wanted.

By the time Din gets back, Sweetie's slipped her tongue in my mouth. Din creeps up behind her, shoots me a tired look, and then wraps her hooves around Sweetie, whispering in her ear.

"Oy, get a room, you lot!" somepony calls from the room, and I disengage the kiss, looking into Sweetie's unfocused eyes.

"What a lovely idea."

We gave her a little time to sober up a bit; I wanted to make sure. But she wasn't kidding about what she said back at the pub. Back at our room, we barely had time to undress before she got down to business, and I am currently having both my tongue and my willy sucked by two gorgeous unicorns. Oh, what splendid bliss! This is the life, Pip old boy!

Sweetie's really good at this, too. Far be it from me to presume what she does in her spare time, but that posh Canterlot life hasn't stripped her of the finer details of rough country life. She's really going to town on me, too, and I'm pretty sure I'll be dropping my load down her throat in a second.

Din's doing that thing where she nibbles at my chin and tweaks the flesh over my chest with her magic, and it is driving me Luna-damned wild. With a purr, she bites the hollow of my neck and I spurt.

"Ah, Din!" Dammit, she got me to say her name again.

"Mm, I win," she coos. "Move over, Sweetie, I'd like a turn."

Sweetie obliges, wiping my spooge off her lips and grinning. As Din slides down my body, Sweetie sits up and meets her with a long kiss. I see a hoof moving down to rub between Din's legs.

"Uh, ladies? Stallion in need of sweet release here!"

Din hmphs and grins at me over her shoulder.

"Why don't you go get comfortable with him, Sweetie?" she says, and slaps our guest on the flank. Sweetie yelps and giggles, then comes over to spread her kisses to me. I can feel Din kissing the base of my cock, stroking it slowly, while Sweetie's licking and nibbling at my lips. She tastes like salt. Don't tell anyone, but I really love that aftertaste.

Din shifts and I feel her heat slide down over mine. Ohhh, fuckCelestiafuck, she feels so good inside! She starts to ride me and I'm torn at what to do next.

"Let me taste you," I whisper, and Sweetie nods. She turns around, settling her weight on my chest as Din's working her hips over mine, keeping me right where she needs me so I won't get off too soon.

My world is puffy purple and pink for a moment, and then I get an eyeful of white lips around a different shade of pink. I flex my tongue, lapping at her, and she coos. The taste is like daisies, soft but sharp. I dive in.

I feel Din's weight shift a bit, and then the sounds of heated tongue wrestling. Good. The thought of these two beauties making out over me almost drives me over the edge, but I shift my attention back to what's more immediate. Sweetie may be experienced, but she's never been shown the path I walk. Tongue, nose, lips: I know everything about pleasing mares, and I give her a full lesson on experiencing ecstasy. She can thank Din later.

Well, she's thanking her now, I suppose.

Din's gotten to the short pumps now, bouncing the bed. Their moans commingle, Sweetie's more melodic and thus the standout. I can use that sound to adjust what I'm doing so precisely... Ah yes, a high note! How splendid! I play Sweetie like a sweet piccolo while Din takes us to where we're going.

"Oh, yes, Pip! Ah, dammit!"

That'll teach her. I reach down and slap at her thigh and she giggles, riding me down to the very end of orgasmic bliss. It's the work of but a moment to get Sweetie dripping all over my face. I can feel her starting to give out. Already? But we've only just started. I won the last round, after all.

Sweetie leans forward, pressing the air from my abdomen, not that I mind. Din shifts off of me and helps her off as well, and I stand.

"You there," I point Din to the edge of the bed. "Sweetie, get behind her, eh? There's a love." I'm not sure she knows what I've got in mind, but she'll figure it out soon enough.

I take my place behind Sweetie, sails at full, and spread her cheeks gently before plunging my mizzenmast to the hilt.

I've really got to knock off the pirate puns during sex. Din complains about it, too.

Slow thrusting is what this situation calls for, as I aim to work Sweetie until she can't take any more. I watch Din maneuver her sweet flower back to Sweetie's horn, but it's a bit of tentative licking and head-shaking from Din before Sweetie gets the hint.

In goes the horn, and Din gasps. Ah yes, ladies, this is where the fun happens.

The trick to this maneuver is to power not forward but upward. Too much force will rend your lady on the end, and that ruins a party. So I lift with each stroke, keeping my hooves on Sweetie's hips, and all she has to do is stand there with her head down, gasping in pleasure. Din rocks with my rhythm.

Fucking two mares at once never gets old.

It looks like I'm not long for this round, however. Din's holding back Sweetie's name, I can hear it, and I'm feeling like the dam's ready to burst. She's so tight! She must work out; maybe it's those breathing exercises that--

Mind wandering again, Pip.

With another lift, I feel my control shift loose in sync with Din.

"Oh, Sweetie!" she cries, and the last syllable lilts up to a crescendo.

"Sweetie Belle..." escapes my lips, and I feel a right git. Mares and gentlecolts, the winner and still champeen.

Sweetie slumps to the floor and Din collapses next to her once her horn's out. They cling to each other, just breathing, the very picture of beautiful post-release. I'm struggling for my footing, and decide to just lean against the bed. Well, maybe the bed's overrated.

I join them on the rug, giving each a long kiss. Din presses me down and lies beside me, and Sweetie joins on the other side, curling against me.

This is the sweet plunder that Pip the Pirate lives for.

The next morning, Apple Bloom is located -- she'd thought her friend was coming in tomorrow -- and Sweetie bids us farewell. Our nighttime tryst is a secret, not a regret.

I kiss Din, but she pulls away from me and levitates a slip of paper out of the nightstand drawer. On it are three pictures: the apple with the crossed hammer and wrench, and the heart with wings both have large red X's through them. All that remains is the double eighth note with the hearts instead of whatever you call those little dot thingies at the ends.

"Well?" Her smirk conceals no mirth.

Making a show of rolling my eyes, I take the offered red pencil and draw a slash through the third picture.

"You happy?"

I nod.

She sticks her tongue out. "You have a ring?"

I grasp her face in both my hooves and draw her close, giving her a kiss that she pretends not to enjoy.

"First thing after breakfast, dear. But I really need a shower, dunno 'bout you."

She glares and does that adorable pouty face that shows up whenever I'm right about something.

"Fine. But we're eating breakfast out. I'm not waiting longer than I have to."

"Fair enough." I flash her that grin that could deflect magic missiles. "You're payin' though."

She gasps, giving me enough time to rush into the loo and lock the door behind me. I slump down against the door and laugh and laugh.