Two G's in a Pod

Two G’s in a Pod

Chapter 10: Dr. Dre’s Pre-Approved Detox Plan (Patent Subject to Change)

By: Stillmatic and Lucius Seneca

Nightmare's Tongue was roughly four miles from Dodge Junction. It was a long sandy stretch of reddish sand that eventually sunk into a large gash in the earth. The ravine was several hundred meters wide and it's edges were jagged and sharp, the occasional birds nest seen abandoned in the many crevices and shallow caves that seemed chiseled into the sides of the ravine. Oddly, and rather disturbingly, enough there was a small, quaint cemetery near Nightmare's Tongue.

The wrought iron fencing was rusted and collapsed in most spots and weeds had overgrown the fertile ground. Will, who was walking hurriedly through the collection of cracked and dilapidated headstones, had a pretty good idea where the fertilizer had come from. He shuddered at the thought, but his thoughts soon turned to the small wagon and lantern that were placed near what appeared to be a recently excavated grave. Will slowed to a careful stepping and removed the pistol from his jacket pocket. The scraping sounds of a shovel could be heard and a grunting followed by a chittering laugh.

Will pulled his head back in fear and peered down into the grave. A pony, stinking and brown in color, was going through the simple wooden coffin below his hooves. Will let out a disgusted breath, "What the fuck, man."

The grave robber whirled and backed up against the dirt walls, "I know him!"

"Yeah, right." Will shook his head, but kept the pistol at the ready. "Even after that guy is dead and in the ground you need to loot him? C'mon."

"Listen, don't tell anyone. Wait... are you one of those hairless doggies?" The exhumer asked with squinted eyes.

Will caught scent of the rotting corpse and gagged, "What the fuck... I'm a human. This is some straight up shit."

The pony climbed out of the grave and scuttled to his wagon, peeking out with a stained face, "Humans? I used to know a human. Name was Seth. Nopony else saw him though!" A hoof was thrust into the air. "I know what I saw!"

"Uh huh. Well, I've gotta go. You have fun fondling the dead." Will said as he continued on, shrugging his backpack over his shoulders."

The grave robber called out after him, "You looking for that artifact aren't ya!"

Will stopped and turned, pistol still in hand, "You know where it is?"

"You betcha. Big old Dust Cyclops guards it in a cave down yonder. Other treasure too."

"You know the exact spot?"

"Yeah-uh."

Will waved his pistol at the dirty figure, "Take me there."

"What if I don't wanna?"

"Then I'm gonna come over there and you'll be staying next to Mr. Corpse until you're more withered than he is!" Will said with a touch of malice.

The grave robber looked out from beneath the wagon which was burdened with several other coffins, "You'd have to catch me first!" When Will made to move towards him, the pony backed down. "Alright! Relax, partner. Maybe we can help each other. Hmmm?"

Will motioned for the necrophiliac to elaborate, "Well, that Cyclops may have taken one of my favorite friends when we ran into each other. You get her back and I'll lead you to that there artifact you want so bad."

"Friend? You're friends with a fuckin' corpse?" Will asked with disbelief.

The grave robber gave a rotten smile with rows of blackened teeth, "Lil' bit more than that."

Will held back his disgust, "Fine. Let's go. Lead the way you sick bastard."

"You can call me Diggy Desertdust."

"And you don't have to call me anything. Because we're not friends." Will said flatly.

Diggy laughed with a cackle and hooked himself up to the wagon, "Hop on in! Just make sure not to disturb those sleeping beauties!"

Will spat, feeling ill, and climbed in over the coffins, sitting with his back to one as Diggy began pulling, heading towards the ever-widening ramp of sand and shale that led down into a hellish, shadowy place.

Cherry Jubilee lay there, resting peacefully with her eyes shut and breathing even. The worry she previously carried was nonexistent for now, having been buried deep within her mind while she slept. During that time, she was in a bed, currently by herself. Though she was awake, the want to remain asleep kept her from even opening her eyes, which she forcefully did once she realized there was no other source of pressure or heat beside her.

Don was sitting beside the end table, his head titled upwards, staring at where the opposite wall and ceiling met. His body was slumped, and pallid in color with dots of sweat adorning his forehead. She watched carefully, not shifting her vision away from his occasionally blinking eyes, those being the only indications he was still alive at this point. His hand moved to a glass of water and it was dumped within his mouth slowly along with two of those pills she vaguely recognized.

Cherry lifted her head and propped it on a hoof, staring in concern, "Why aren't you resting?"

"Uhh..." Don, in his current state, found it hard to recall why he was out of bed, "... Damn... Why was-- Oh yeah. Your grandma came in here and told me if she caught us sharing the same bed again, she'd tear off my arms or something." He sipped some water, lowering himself a little more, "It was an... interesting conversation, I think."

"Nana..." Cherry Jubilee muttered under her breath. "I should probably explain that to her later."

"Cherry, I got to ask something," he said, changing the subject.

"What is it, darlin'?"

He ran a hand over the glass, speaking slowly, "What if I told you I came from a world where you can be whoever and whatever you want if you put the appropriate effort into it? That not even the sky was the limit to what you could do? If you were me, would you go back to it? Or stay in a place where you're pretty sure you don't belong and be the last of a nonexistent species? What would you do?"

The mare thought about that for a second. It was an odd notion that anypony could be whatever and do what they want with their lives to the point he seemed to make, especially so with the concept of Cutie Marks around. Still, Equestrians were the only species with such things, and the others she had met seemed perfectly content with their lack of marks. Though, she was just as much so with her live revolving around cherries and cherry products. Having that brought a sort of shield around her, giving her purpose and guidance in life. So she responded in the only way she knew.

"I can't say, hon'. That's all for you to decide."

She looked back at him now, after having not received a response. He was already asleep, his chest rising and falling in a quiet rhythm. Cherry couldn't help but smile as she got out from underneath the covers, lifted him onto her back, and rolled him onto the bed alongside her again. She pulled the thick blanket back over and sighed tiredly, heading back to sleep for the time being.

The duo was probably halfway through Nightmare's Tongue when Diggy stopped pulling the wagon and disengaged himself from the harness. Up ahead, several bats flickered like cast shadows before vanishing into the nooks and cracks of the ravine walls. Will shuddered. The shadows were deep and thick, shrouding everything in eerie darkness. Bloodstone walls surrounded the duo and seemed to close in around them. Diggy pointed a cracked, infected hoof forward."

"The bastard has a cave up there. Might be sleeping now."

Will nodded and climbed off of the coffins, "Alright. Let's go."

A large crack in ravine floor blocked the path ahead, but Diggy pointed at a small series wooden planks that led across the wide gap. Will climbed across, hands out for balance. He didn't have to look down to know that there was no surviving the fall. The whistling winds were evidence enough of that. He crossed over safely and soon Diggy was across, matted and greasy tail dragging in the dust. Will ignored the smell of the pony and they continued walking forward, both in a half crouch. Diggy was becoming increasingly jumpy, glancing around in fear, every shadow a new threat for him.

It wasn't long before the cave came into sight. It had probably been formed naturally throughout thousands of years. It was fairly big, a large, gaping entrance leading into a sandy patch which was surrounded by crystalline structures. Will pushed himself against the ravine wall and peeked inwards nervously. The Dust Cyclops, a large humanoid looking creature sat with its back to the human, mumbling and playing with something in its hands. It grunted piggishly and tossed the object aside. It rolled near the entrance, flickers of sickly green light dancing within the obsidian-like orb as it rolled to a stop.

The flickers of energy looked like small green leeches tracing paths through black water. Will felt the realization hit him. That was it. That was the artifact he needed. Diggy poked him with a hoof and Will sighed, looking for anything that would resemble a corpse. A coffin, half pried open, sat against a large cluster of crystals. Apparently Diggy had nailed the lid back on before it had been stolen away from him. Will pointed at the coffin and Diggy nodded, sweating what could have been sewer water.

Will dropped the backpack and placed both the revolver and flare gun in his belt. A few seconds of scrounging later and Will had two extra flares in his jacket pocket. He motioned for Diggy to stay put and crept forward, eyes locked on the calloused back of the Cyclops. A large burlap rag was wrapped around it's waist, serving as some, rudimentary form of modesty. Will swallowed visibly and took another step towards the orb. The soft sand underfoot served as good terrain to move silently in.

The human scooped up the orb artifact and rolled it back to Diggy who grabbed it with rotting teeth before vanishing out of sight. Will backed up. How was he supposed to reach the goddamn coffin, he thought? Before he had a chance to formulate a plan, his heel descended onto a piece of thin shale. The crack of the rock was probably pretty quiet, but in the cave, it echoed amazingly. Will felt the blood rush from his face and his limbs seized up. The Dust Cyclops looked up in surprise and then turned so it was facing the intruder. It's single eye widened with anger and it released a scream that would have made most people turn into a quivering pool of fear.

Will watched as the beast rose to its feet and seized the coffin like it weighed nothing. Seconds later Will was diving for cover as the coffin sailed through the air, exploding on the cave wall on a shower of splinters. The human looked over in amazement and stumbled to his feet, flare gun in his hand. He fired and an arc of light and chemical fueled heat struck the Cyclops in the shoulder. The lit flare became lodged in the large bumps of muscle and a loud bellow sounded out as it burned into the skin. Will's heart was hammering like a drummer on cocaine and he struggled to reload, hands shaking with adrenaline. He shoved another flare into the chamber, slammed it shut, raised the gun up from a kneeling position with both hands, and fired.

The dustclops fell backwards in agony as the flare hammered into its exposed eye. Will watched as it writhed on the ground, all thirteen feet of it kicking and screaming as it clutched the burnt eye. The human looked back in shock, but his eyes widened once again as he spotted the remains of the coffin. There was no body.

"Son of a bitch." Will muttered.

He turned and ran, but Diggy was already gone, backpack missing. He could be seen climbing over the gap in the ravine floor up ahead. Will ran towards him, sprinting as fast as he could. He wasn't going to let some freak keep him from saving his best friend's life. Diggy had anticipated the chase and had done away with the wood plank bridge before Will was even halfway there, but the human didn't slow as the exhumer had thought he wood. Will ducked his head against the wind and hurled himself across the gap and straight into the form of Diggy. There was an explosion of air from the grave robber's lungs and soon the two were rolling about, biting, kicking, punching.

Diggy bit hard into Will's next and he screamed in pain as the skin broke. The human slammed a fist into his attacker's temple and he rolled away, nursing a possible concussion. The backpack was laying feet away, the orb rolling towards the gap in the confusion. Will threw himself towards it, but Diggy was already moving. He lunged and snatched the artifact, clutching it in his hooves as he stood on his two back legs, a look of insanity cast over his face. That was the last thing he would ever do.

Will pulled the pistol from his belt, cocked the hammer, and fired from a prone stance. There was a loud crack and Diggy fell backwards instantly, blood gushing from a hole in his forehead, He vanished over the edge and the orb flew forward as he fell backwards. Will caught it as he rose to his feet and watched as the body tumbled over the side and into the darkness below. After the pistol shot, there was near silence apart from a distant groaning and whistling wind. Will turned his head and vomited into the sand. Something wet was on his face. He wiped the warm substance off. Knowing full well what it was. He felt sick, weak, shaky, what he had just done beginning to seep in.

The human scrabbled to his backpack and shoved the orb away. Get rid of evidence was the first thing to do. Will grabbed the back of the wagon and pushed it forward slowly. It creaked and groaned before spiraling downwards, bouncing off the walls of the gap and turning into a rain of broken wood and coffins. Soon Will was shrugging his backpack on and, with hands more shaky than ever, he tossed the single spent shell casing into the darkness below.

He turned and ran.

Will leaned against a large boulder and let his head droop unceremoniously. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand again and felt the urge to retch, but held it back. His hand traced a path upwards, towards his hair, and he felt at the clumps of it which were stuck together with Diggy's blood. Will turned his head and vomited what little he had left in his stomach. He felt weak and dazed from the events. The canteen and the cold water within garnered him some strength, as little as it was, and he continued forward.

Evening would be casting amber shadows over the sand blasted landscape soon enough and Will knew he had to return to Dodge Junction soon. Don's life was at stake and there was little time to waste. Will ducked his head against the crimson light of the fading sun and took up a weak attempt at a job which he maintained for several minutes before returning to a brisk walk which taxed him dearly, robbing him of endurance that had seemingly faded from the combination of murder, a deathly hangover, and no breakfast.

The faint figure of Dodge Junction could be seen on the horizon. Black squares and rectangles no bigger than Will's thumbnail grouped together in the distance and the lone teenager picked up speed, asthma and exhaustion catching up with him. He spat a glob of gunk from his mouth and coughed.

"Cigarettes..." He muttered with a touch of resentment.

Soon he was skirting through the outlying plains of Dodge Junction and waltzed his way past the few failed business which had been left to the desert's embrace before emerging onto a main street and beginning a full out run despite his weak legs, empty stomach, and burning lungs. It wasn't far now, Will thought as he turned a right, vaulted over a patio railing, and cut through an alleyway. The Cherry residence was now visible and Will jumped over a low lying picket fence, landing on the yellowish grass of the front lawn.

He climbed the front stairs, pushed past a random laborer who cursed at him, and entered the house. He could hear yelling emanating from the upper level and soon he was taking the stairs two at a time, bursting into a room which seemed to have been transformed into a makeshift medical ward. Don was slumped on the floor, a leg and arm visible behind the several bodies which seemed to be working on him. The doctor could be seen along with Cherry Jubilee, but Will felt his breath catch in his throat and he tossed his pack away before sliding next to his fallen friend who no longer seemed to be breathing.

The doctor had a mask of concentration locked over his usual mild visage as he handled a strange machine in his hooves. It whirred loudly and seemed to thrum as the doctor manipulated a lever on the side, depressing it over and over again, making the whirring a constant hum. Will watched as a strange glow ran from the device, down two tubes which hooked via clamps onto Don's chest, and looked on in amazement as the glow presumably entered his body.

Don kicked out like he was being electrified and the doctor looked over at Will with a strained face, "The artifact!"

The partly healthy human lunged towards his backpack and ripped through it like a feral dog, tossing cigarettes, alcohol, and the pistol outwards as he tore the orb through and rolled it towards the medical expert who dropped the whirring device and seized the black artifact from the floor. He slammed it hard into Don and his thrashing chest as if he was set on crushing his sternum.

There was a screaming wind, a loud crashing, and Will felt his matted hair blow backwards as if a small tornado had emerged in the room. The bed was flung sideways and Don kicked one last time before falling still. The wind stopped and the room fell quiet.

Don stood slowly, blinking and shaking his head several times to clear it, "Damn... Did I smoke something mad strong? Because I can't remember shit right now and I'm seriously hungry. Like,  starving."