Author's Note

3k-word chapter deployed, The Spy of the Tiger. The usual whiplash will now resume.

Celestia was full of p̶i̶l̶k̶ raw plutonium?

"Mmmmmmm, yummy yummy pilk," Celestia poured another bottle of Pepsi into her glass of milk. "Absolutely delicious."

The Royal Canterlot Chefs bristled at her... hobby.

Twilight teleported the door into Celestia's glass, inadvertently crushing it down into a new form of hyperdense amalgamation of wood and metal. That was beside the point, however.

"Celestia!" Twilight ran into the room after her usual door-obliterating shenanigans. "What are you doing?!"

Celestia raised her glass of pilk and compressed Royal Canterlot Door. "Enjoying the refreshments, my unfaithfully expelled-for-medical-reasons-former-student-turned-successor. Care for some pilk?"

Twilight slapped the glass out of Celestia's magic with a magical hand of her own. "Princess, don't you know what the P in 🅱epis stands for? Or why when you flip the name upside-down, it reads as 'isded'?"

Celestia reached for her spilled drink.

"No, bad!" Twilight slapped Celestia's hoof. "It stands for plutonium! Raw, unrefined, plutonium! They saw what their competitor was doing with the coc--" Twilight stopped herself at the notice of Celestia's full, alicornly gaze fixating on her. "Nevermind. But still! You are full of plutonium, Princess!"

Celestia shrugged even as she began to take on a rather luminescent hue. "Not my problem, Twiggles."

"Oh, this is very much your problem," Twilight stamped her hoof. "Don't you know a single thing about radiation poisoning?"

Celestia looked between Twilight and the chunk of slowly sublimating iodine she was currently holding. She leaned in for a bite.

~~lmaowhat~~