Author's Note

Don't see you around here very often, Officers Mess!

every liquid was replaced by ranch sauce

The oceans churned with ranch, winds carrying a zesty scent across barren land.

Not a single being existed to tell the tale of RanchWorld, because every liquid--and I mean every liquid, was replaced by ranch.

There existed no water without ranch. Not even water within individual cells was spared, and upon its replacement with ranch, the salt content of the sauce shriveled every living cell into an unliving husk.

Yes, this was a world truly devoid of life. There is nothing--wait, what is that?

Discord with a curly straw singlehandedly drinking the entire Ranchific Ocean?