Trixie spilled coffe on Major General Rainbow Dash. The general decideds to handle this with some "closed-door negotiations."

WARNING:Contains horn sex.

"ahhh, what a subtle name."-Unfortunatley Perverse

"Da faq is this?"-OneAmongOthers

"Great story I may read it again."-Greatest Boxer Puppy Ever

"Darling. No."-RarityEQM

"Dead memes can only fill my sorrow, and one of them explains your story perfectly."-ForeverLonely

"this is not even fanfiction’s final form."-Lil Penpusher

"Up until this moment, I thought this would be the most blatant title I ever saw on the site...lesson learned, I guess."-Estee

"I respect this title."-ThePoopBandit

"I'm laughing so hard right now!  I don't care what other's think you got a thumbs up from me.  Pony A.I.D.S. PPPFFFFHAHAHAHAA"-QuirkyGallade

"This is a fairly good story, actually. It's not Jane Austen but I feel like people are overdoing it with the dislikes."-Alsvid

"why."-Merula

"it's a good story bront."-Alsvid

"The thing I like about it is the comedy."-Flora Blossom

"10/10 comedy."-Rye Snoot

"Oh boy...

I'm a sadomasochistic, I admit it. I knew what the reviews said, what the comments said, and even what you, the author of... this... said. But even as a self aware clopfic it's still not funny... this is just... Jesus.

I'm laughing right now, but only as a result of the insanity slowly taking over. I highly recommend spending more time on the why instead of the how... more so, consider getting a freakin' editor to help you with this stuff. They say never turn in your first draft... this is why."-Shadow Rift

"Fuck Me Baby So Hard!
by Tilgoreth

1. Technical skill. Grammar, punctuation, etc.
Right out of the gate this has some problems. The second sentence appears to be missing a word and the third sentence switches tenses. The the fourth switches back again. And then the other way. And then back again. It has serious problems with past and present tense, is what I'm trying to say. Overall I think it's not the worst thing I've ever seen, it wasn't bad enough to completely ruin my reading experience, but it's pretty rough. It really could use a pass by a good editor or two, though I've no idea where you'd find somebody who wants to edit something like this.

2. The story as story. How the plot, characters, and overall storytelling hold together.
This is also more than a little rough. It dives into the sex with only the barest of "pizza delivery guy" style pretense. There's a reason for the fucking, but it's not much of one. There's no real plot here at all. Rainbow wants fucked, Trixie is not enthused but feels she has to do it. There's fucking, then there's silly parody fucking, then there's ridiculous fetish fucking, then an even more ridiculous troll ending.

3. The story as clop. Is it hot?
The first section (the initial hornfuck) comes close. There are moments that are almost there, but there's just not quite enough. It's short, skimming over moments that most clopfics would linger on. It doesn't take itself seriously at all, yet the fun it has is just random and weird and not at all sexy. It could be sexy with a little fleshing out, or with any sense that the characters are actually enjoying themselves. Though it might have to trim some of the more unrealistic bits (self fucking is possible, but self-horn-fucking is really pushing it. Also, acting like mare-cum is the same as a male's cum is a pet peeve of mine, there's no gush at climax for most people, it's just leaking wetness all along, but I could have let that pass if the rest had been sexy at all.) The ending also kills any trace of boner I might have had.

4. Use of prompt. Does it feature the characters and ship provided?
Absolutely. Full points here. What little plot there is revolves entirely around the prompt given, so there's nothing lacking there.

5. Bonus. Anything else good about it that doesn't fall into the above categories.
Honestly, the only points this gets are for being so silly that it kind of comes all the way around from being bad to being good. You could do a great MST3K style sendup of this, it's that kind of story.

Final score: Awful. Yep, it really was that bad, congrats!"-SPark

"This story is such shit."-Tilgoreth

Go read the worst story ever.

Edited by Shadowghostalex

This is my entry for The Monthly Contest Club's October contest-Crackship Clopfics!.

Cover art doesn't belong too me.