Equus Bravo - Prance - Amore, The World Capital of Love - Pony Express 999

Dame Honest Penny wanted to see Amore, so the three decided to stay in the train. While the very human emotion spite was a motivator, the group all hoped she would leave and let them talk. The proverbial hoofcuffs, however, went both ways. Penny could have used her threat to get the changelings to comply, but she wasn’t going to abuse her power for her own benefit even if it meant she would be denied entry into the famous pony City of Love.

Their cabin door opened. Instead of being the attendant, it was a white unicorn with a blue mane. He appeared quite distinguished in his monocle and dress suit.

“Oh, I was not aware this cabin was taken,” the pony apologized. “Is this not cabin 42?”

“Sure as the meaning of life,” Autumn joked. “It is nice to meet you, Fancypants. Feel free to sit with us. I know it might be a bit cramped.”

Each cabin had two rows of seats, but the only window was closer to the seat by the knight. The idea was to allow passengers on the other side a dimmer seating so they can sleep.

“Oh, you know who I am, but I don’t know who you all are,” Fancypants commented with a charming laugh.

“I-I am Dame Honest Penny. You can sit by me.” She shoved Thomas out of the way.

“Oh, a Bitaltian knight. You know I went to Knight School in Prance. One of my best friends was a Bitalitian Knight. Do you know Lady Knight Merryweather?”

“Yes,” Penny lied. She might have met this knight but couldn’t place the name.

“I am Doctor Thomas Mackey,” the recently deposed man greeted politely, then sitting on the side without the window next to Bodo and directly across from Fancypants.

“A pleasure, and thanks for offering your seat to me, good chap.”

“Think nothing of it, Fancypants. It was only the polite thing to do.”

Penny glared daggers at Thomas.

“I am Professor Autumn Wright. I am not a doctor like these two, but don’t underestimate me. These two guys wouldn’t know a receivable from a payable without me.” She emphasized her self-importance by manipulating the shape of her staff, the gem of which glowed slightly brighter for a moment. This accounting knowledge wasn’t important to them at this moment as they hadn’t started their businesses up in Equestria yet. The two philosophers had easily conceded that accounting and financing those businesses would be up to her for the most part one the point came.

“Thinking of doing business in Equestria?” the white unicorn asked, getting an affirmation from the trio. “That isn’t easy for non-ponies. I hear the taxes are quite high. The Princess had always had a protectionist bent. Something about outside competition harming the natural harmony Cutie Marks bring to the kingdom.”

“You don’t seem like a fan of that policy,” Thomas stated.

“Let’s just say that I am a stallion of the world and know that it is best to have the right allies.” Fancypants gave them a disarming grin.

Bodo received a nudged from Thomas. “Oh, um, sup. I am Bodo.” Another nudge. “Or if you want to be polite, I am Doctor Bodo Stein, the one who wishes to carry the flame of philosophy into the next generation unlike my esteem colleague here who thinks it is dead.” Bodo gave said colleague a revenge nudge.

“Can we not talk about that? Jiminy Crickets, we are...not home anymore.”

Fancypants politely ignored their argument. “So why were you in my cabin?” he asked. “I was under the impression I would be alone.”

“Well, these so-called ‘heroes’ had everyone’s cabins changed after a bandit raid,” the knight explained. “Now I imagine a lot of ponies are finding their cabin already occupied and might have to take a different cabin.”

“Oh” was all Fancypants could say to that.

“Tell us something about yourself, Fancypants,” Penny requested.

“I like...upholstery.”

“Upholstery?”

“I just love how they made furnished the Pony Express. Their chairs are just the best.”

“Oh, you love upholstery too! We have so much in common,” Honest Penny stated emphatically.

Two changelings rolled their eyes at the love desperate mare.

“While it is a bit funny how the Minoans don’t wear shirts often, opting for pants, and ponies are the exact opposite, almost never wearing pants, I can’t get why a pony called Fancypants doesn’t wear them,” Bodo pointed out before a whistle signaled the train was leaving the station.

Equus Bravo - Two hours south of the Prance-Equestria Border - Pony Express 999

Bodo was using his illusion magic to create a widescreen television and surround sound system, so the group could watch one of his favorite movies The King of Hearts, a movie about everything. The train had come to a stop. The group could hear a loud roaring of some beast outside.

An attendant came to the cabin door.

“What is wrong? Why has the train stopped?” Penny asked her.

“A dragon is standing on the tracks, Lady Knight, ma’am.”

“Tell him to get off then.”

“We have tried, but he is in the middle of his mating ritual. He is also larger than a passenger car, so we aren’t about to interrupt him.”

“Well, if you aren’t going to do anything, I guess I will have to solve this problem,” the knight declared.

“You don’t mean to say you are going to fight the beast?” Fancypants asked incredulous.

“It would be but a mild annoyance for the Most Accomplished Royal Knight of Bitaly.” The group could not tell if Penny was serious or displaying bravado.

“Let’s not fight if we don’t have to,” Thomas suggested.

“You have a better idea?”

“Bodo could transform into a dragoness and get the dragon off the tracks,” Autumn offered.

“Hey, why me?”

“One, Tommy doesn’t like transforming into females, assuming this dragon is heterosexual, or non-humans. You have no qualms with being either gender or transforming into anything or anybody.”

It was true. Bodo would transform into random people the whole time they were in Iona and Bitaly. The man explain that he was just curious and didn’t want to take his power for granted. ‘There was a lot to learn by being in other people’s hooves,’ he would say. He didn’t care that other people saw him transform. It was better that ponies got used to changelings if they were going to succeed in their plan to conquer Equestria.

“Why not you then?”

“You are smart enough to know why,” Autumn countered the short man. “My transformations take too long and are too costly. I doubt I could even get that big. Plus if he wants to do the deed, you can just let an illusion take your place.”

It was true that he could make himself much larger temporarily if enough appreciation was present. None in the group had experience with love yet, but Thomas had already used friendship, which he received from Kraghorn. Friendship had a lot more kick to it than compared to appreciation, and the group could imagine love was even more intense.

“Fine Mom, but you guys are going to owe me a favor. I am going to be able to do what I want to do one day, and I don’t want any judgement from you. Before you ask, it won’t be unethical, just me being me.”

Due to the size difference between the two, Autumn really did look like his mom. Fancypants assumed she was since he didn’t know that Bodo was in fact more than twice her age. It didn’t help that Bodo had no qualms acting immaturely and Autumn authoritatively.

Bodo transformed into a scaled up version of Ember, which was a disguise Autumn had taught him on their first day as changelings. Bodo-Ember leaned out of her seat and whispered to Penny. “He loves someone else. You should give up.”

The knight blushed and decided it was best looked out the window with her face away from the stallion next to her. “Just leave,” she urged.

The dragoness did just that.

“The deed?” Fancypants inquired.

“You know: sex,” Autumn deadpanned.

“Sex?”

After a very awkward conversation about the birds and bees with a grown stallion, the two remaining changelings in the room learned that ponies didn’t procreate through what would be called sex. Apparently, ‘when two ponies love each other very much, a child is made” was quite literal for ponies. Love magic between two ponies would cause a mare to conceive a child. No sex was needed, which explained their lack of any visible genitalia. As for non-ponies, it was generally the old-fashion way for the non-magical species. The reliance on sex for procreation diminished as a creature became more and more magical. Changelings, despite being mostly made of magic, were an odd case because of the way they used love to sustain themselves. Plus, very little was known about changelings. Most of this information came from the Bitalian Knight, who only knew, she said, because her country had so many non-magical residents like buffalo. A lot of criminal investigations delved into the love lives of people, so a knight would have to know these things about the different species of her country.

Bodo-Ember walked down the passenger car, passing several rooms as she did. First, she saw a group of three rich ponies and their servants. Their coats of the three wealthy ponies formed a gradient from light gray to black. The trio all were talking giddily while holding on what looked like a paperback novel. The lone stallion in the little group looked surprised to see the changeling, which was understandable. Not everyday does a pony see a dragoness with large wings on a pony train. Their servants carried their saddlebags.

Second, she saw two taller than average mares gossiping. One was a unicorn and the other an alicorn. If the pseudo-dragoness remembered correctly, the alicorn was Mi Amore Cadenza or Cadence. She would have to talk to this alicorn later after taking care of the dragon outside. It never hurt to have connections in high places.

Third, Bodo-Ember passed by a grouchy stallion who looked like he was trying to find something in his luggage. There was nothing else of note to the guy, so she just kind of forgot about him.

Equus Bravo - Prance - One hour south of the Prance-Equestria Border - Airspace above the Pony Express Railway

Drake, the dragon who had put his horny butt on the rail tracks, was a terrible date. (Dragons have a bad habit of being where they are a problem for smaller creatures.) The moment Bodo-Ember had gotten him into the air, the guy just wanted to talk about himself. He thought his bragging would impressed the pseudo-dragoness. Sure, he knew how to give her a lot of compliments, but philosophers like a good dialogue over a domineering litany of pretty little nothings.

The dragoness forgave Drake as he treated her as an instrument to satisfy his desires as much as she did him. His lust was useful to the changeling. It was stronger than appreciation, but weaker than her approximation of the magic of friendship. If Bodo-Ember had to place it, it would have been around the strength of faith, which was hilarious to the philosopher.

After an hour of that, Drake asked her his first question. “Wow, this has been just awesome. I never seen a dragoness like you before. It is like you just get me. I would do anything, give up anything for you….” He got to his first question after a rather lengthy summary of how amazing the date was for him and how he devoted to her he was. “What do you think?”

“You want to know what I think?” Bodo-Ember asked caught off-guard. Drake nodded. “I think you need to work on your understanding of love. Love isn’t a bunch of nice words. Love isn’t abandoning who you are for someone else. Love isn’t absolute devotion or worship.”

Drake looked like she had just killed his puppy. In a way, the dragoness had by destroying his image of her and, by extension, his image of himself.

“Then what is love?” the shocked dragon questioned.

“Love is present in the world. Love is a...large hoard in a sturdy cave one can come to anytime. Love is a...selection of tasty gemstones gathered by a careful claw. Love provides protection just as it is protected whenever it is needed.

“Love is dangerous. Love gives part of itself without asking for anything in return and holds no grudges if nothing is returned. Even though no debt is recognized, love repays the gift in only the way those who actually love each other can by loving the piece of love that was given to them. You can easily hurt the one you love because they expose themselves to each other.”

“I can do all of that. My love can be all that and more, Ember!” Drake proclaimed, flying closer to the changeling in order to be ‘present’ for her.

“Can you?” the dragoness countered, flying further away from him. His lust may have allowed Bodo-Ember to reach a much larger size, but she was still smaller than him by a good deal. He could easily accidentally knock her out of the sky. It was an example of love being dangerous, but not in the way Bodo-Ember intended. “As I remember, you seemed completely preoccupied with yourself and a dream. Love can’t just be just a dream. You have to bring it down to… Equus. And to do that, you have to actually be with me. Not that dream version of me that just does whatever you say and listens to you all day. Sure I lover will listen to you, but there is a gulf of difference between lending a ear and being a tool.”

“So you are saying that if I act like that, you will love me….”

“One, no. Two, that isn’t what I said. If it were, then I would be doing the same thing as you. That is: telling you how to be without your input. Three, hell no. I am not going to date you.”

Drake gave her that sad puppy look again. Bodo-Ember felt really bad. Before this had just been a mutual using of each other, but it had gone passed that point when she decided to be real with him. The philosopher felt like she had just used the poor guy.

“Look you just have to try harder. Love is a lot about trying hard, not just for someone, but with them. Find yourself another dragon who is interested in you and wants to try at love with you.”

“Why can’t it be you? I love you.”

“It’s complicated.” It was a cliche line, but it was better than the truth in Bodo’s eyes.

For starters, Bodo-Ember didn’t want to tell him that she was actually a changeling and a man at that. She wasn’t sure how the dragon would react. Bodo had heard enough stories of people killing crossdressers and transgender people when they found out their partner’s sex. Autumn had told the changeling that dragons could be very aggressive, and Bodo-Ember didn’t want to get crushed like the bug she really was. Sure, Drake seemed like a nice dragon then, but the changeling wasn’t going to take any chances while alone in the air far from her comrades.

Secondly, explaining to Drake that she had just used him this whole time, not only for food but to let the train keep moving. Again, Bodo-Ember didn’t want to get crushed.

“I see….” Drake stared off into the distance as if contemplating something.

“I will just be going then.”

Drake didn’t respond, so the dragoness took that as an invitation to leave. She flew down to the train, scaled herself down, and entered the passenger car that was close to where she had originally exited from. She was glad there was nothing odd about dragons suddenly changing sizes. She merely had to explain that her hoard was in her mind and Drake believed her. The changeling only dropped the disguise after she had fully closed the door behind her.

The normal Bodo walked back down the passageway towards where he remembered their cabin being. On the way, he heard something strange like a beeping sound. Then there was two loud thump sound. The next moment almost froze in his eyes as he a shock wave passed through the cabin to his left and and then through himself, starting in his left arm. It forced the changeling back into his base form. He couldn’t feel his left forehoof anymore. He could see green flames erupting from his holes. The changeling could still hear and another, softer thump came from a passenger cabin a few doors away from him.

A black rich-looking unicorn stallion, whom Bodo vaguely remembered from before — the one who had a book and was with two other mares — rushed up to the severely injured changeling. Bodo fell unconscious reconsidering his stance on the existence of karma.

Equus Bravo - Prance - Forty-five minutes south of the Prance-Equestria Border - Pony Express 999

Everyone in the changelings’ cabin heard the two thump sounds and thought nothing of them until they heard a mare scream. They filed out quickly and let the royal knight take point.

First they came to a unicorn stallion holding the body of a changeling. The shapeshifters all looked the same to the former humans, but they assumed it was Bodo.

“What happened?” Penny asked, using her knightly voice.

“I don’t know, ma’am, but this creature got caught in whatever it was. I manage to stop the magical hemorrhaging, but it is going to take awhile before it wakes up.”

The knight inspected Bodo’s unconscious body. She knew that the changelings really looked like, but she found it hard to believe that it was in fact Bodo. In fact, she was starting to get why the shapeshifter thought of himself as a human more than a changeling. The first thing Penny noticed the changelings missing left foreleg. It was just a stump with a wet piece of torn clothing. She had inferred that the scrapped cloth had come from the stallion’s overcoat due to it’s expensive nature.

“Did you do this?” the knight inquired.

“Yes, I had experience as a field medic during the conflict with Griffonia.”

“And you knew how to treat changelings.”

“I don’t know how to treat changelings per se, but I have treated enough people from different species to have a good idea.”

Though the Griffonia was decades ago and the stallion with the dark coat seemed young, his answer satisfied the knight. Penny let Thomas take his friend back to their cabin to rest. She motioned everyone to stand back as she scanned the cabin next to where Bodo had fallen with her magic. Nothing dangerous appeared in her scan. Opening the door, the reddish brown mare found a stallion slumped over his luggage. Penny got close to him and checked his vitals.

“He just unconscious,” she announced.

The others sighed in relief.

At this point, Penny remembered they had heard a mare scream and knew that they hadn’t seen the end of the crime scene. They went down a few cabins to find three servants in the hallway.

“Coming through, coming through,” Penny told them as she pushed her way into the cabin. Inside she found a light gray mare weeping over the body of another mare with a dark gray coat. The former field medic and Fancypants rushed into the room and passed the knight.

“Who is this?”

“Pretty Skirt, my friend,” the former field medic answered.

“And my wife,” the lover of upholstery added.

“And she is de-de-dead,” the weeping mare finished.

Penny inspected the body more closely and found that this was indeed the case.

“How did she die?” Fancypants asked. His voice was equal parts somber and shocked.

“It was magical destabilization.” The knight trailed her hoof from the mare, following a magical signature in the air. She quickly found its source: a small can with a popped lid on the floor next to a few murder mystery paperback novels. “This was the magical explosive, remotely detonated by either magic or a magical remote detonator. It doesn’t do any physical damage, but to magical creatures like ponies it can cause them to shut down. In the case of Bodo, the damage was more severe due to being made of more magic than flesh.”

Penny frowned for a moment.

“What is wrong, Lady Knight?” the stallion friend of the deceased inquired in an excited voice.

“The explosive was too small to kill a pony, even a unicorn, unless it was right next to her.”

“Are you suggesting it was in her lap when it exploded?”

“It is possible someone close to her planted it on her person, knowing it would go off.”

Autumn and Penny left the other ponies with the dead victim to mourn. The weeping mare had also been one of Pretty Shirt’s friends along with the black stallion.

“So we have a murderer on the loose then,” Autumn stated. “They would have to be on the train.”

“Yes we do,” Penny thought. “How do I know it isn’t one of you?”

“Why would we kill a pony with you watching us like a hawk? Especially a pony we don’t even know.”

“You seemed to know her husband quite well.”

“That is different.”

“How so?”

“Um...Fancypants is better known where I came from.” Autumn faltered as the knight backed her into a corner. “Anyways, how do I know it isn’t you?”

“I?”

“You wanted to bring us to jail since the moment we met you. You were the one going to the mare’s room for twenty minutes to supposedly ‘powder your nose’. You could have planted the explosives thinking they wouldn’t kill anypony and blame us for it afterwards.”

If the situation wasn’t so serious, Penny would have laughed at the tree-like giant in front of her. “First, I don’t need an excuse to put you in jail. I already have one, if not two. Second, I recommend you politely turn your suspicions elsewhere if you know what is good for you and your friends. Third, I went into the bathroom for so long because-” She leaned into the dryad and motioned her to lean in too. It was a bit difficult as Autumn was five feet taller than the unicorn. “-this armor chaffs like Tartarus when I sit for a prolong period of time, and I was starting to get a rash. I needed to put ointment on it.”

Two tall mares had come up to them during their conversation. Autumn identified them immediately.

“Princess Mi Amore Cadenza (aka Cadence), Mrs. Fleur de Lis, this is Dame Honest Penny.” The dryad’s awareness of their names was strange but understandable. Cadence was a princess, and Fleur de Lis a Prench Ambassador. Both of them had their pictures in the newspapers and tabloids many times.

“What happened?” the unicorn Fleur de Lis asked.

“We heard a scream,” the alicorn Princess Cadence added.

“Everything will be explained shortly. Meet us in the dining cabin,” Penny told them before leaving.

“Where are we going?” Autumn wondered.

“We are getting everypony together. After we explain everything, I will be conducting interviews.”

“May I help with the investigation, Lady Knight?” The one who had inquired was Fancypants. He had left his wife in the hooves of her close friends.

“Hey, how do we know you are guilty?” the dryad pointedly pressed.

“Because he was with you the whole time and I assumed you didn’t see him do any magic or use any devices while I was gone,” Penny interjected.

Autumn affirmed she had seen the stallion perform no schenagains.

“Thank you, Fancypants. Your help will be appreciated,” Penny said. She had given up on courting the stallion now the knight knew he had been married. She wasn’t about to hit on a widower. Plus, she was a professional in a serious situation.

“Wo, wo wo, I am not done,” the accountant countered. “Why weren’t you with your wife on the train? A bit convenient that you were in a cabin that didn’t get bombed.”

Fancypants made a face of pure offense but soon calmed himself. “I have you know that I had no idea my wife was even on this train or in Prance.”

This made even Penny curious. “Why wouldn’t you know where your wife is?”

“I travel a lot for my work, and I don’t usually bring my wife with me on these trips. I assume she went to Amore with her friends. I am more surprised she didn’t tell me she was also in the city or I would have made arrangements.”

The answer satisfied the knight, who had discreetly used her lie detection spell, so she didn’t press the widower for more information about his love life. Penny assured Autumn that having somepony invested in finding the truth on the case would be an asset. While Autumn wanted to like the stallion — he was a pretty cool guy in the show, she remembered, but the dryad didn’t know how she felt having a victim’s husband involved in the investigation. He might be guilty or fly off the handle when they found the guilty one, she thought.

Equus Bravo - Prance - Thirty minutes south of the Prance-Equestria Border - Pony Express 999

Penny had explained to all the passengers what had happened. As a royal knight, she would conduct the investigation. The mare inspected all the rooms and found no signs of explosives. Everything seemed innocent. For instance, the two friends of Pretty Skirt both had the new Agate Crystal novel.

The knight then split all the ponies in groups based on their relation to the victims and was going to interview each group based on how close they were to Pretty Skirt. Every interview would be done under a lie detection spell. She had Autumn and Fancypants supporting her and managing the other passengers. Everypony was expected to stay in their cabins except for Autumn, Fancypants, or the former field medic, who would tend to Bodo if he wasn’t found guilty in his interview.

The first interview group were Pretty Skirt’s two supposed friends.

“Please state your names.”

“I am Black Hoof,” the stallion stated.

“Merryweather,” the mare added nervously. She looked like she was about to cry at any moment, but the stallion next to her comforted her.

“What was your relationship with Pretty Skirt?”

“We were her friends,” the stallion answered and the mare merely nodded.

“Why were you in Amore?”

“W-we were there because of a new book from our favorite author Agate Crystal came out. Pretty was re-really excited to come,” the mare stuttered before breaking into a sobs.

“Did you have anything to do with the magical explosion that killed Pretty Skirt?”

Both denied it emphatically and the die detection spell gave no response.

“Were you responsible for the explosion that hurt Gardener Grumps and the changeling Bodo?”

“I was not responsible, and Merryweather was with me,” Black Hoof answered. Merryweather had her face buried in the stallions barrel as he held her and she cried.

“Do you have any leads as to who the culprit might be?”

“One,” Merryweather spoke up after getting control over her emotions. “Her butler. He killed his former employer. He might have done caused her to die when he handled her luggage.”

“Okay, you are dismissed. Your aid in this investigation is much appreciated Black Hoof, Merryweather.”

“We are always happy to help a member of the Prench Guard,” the stallion said before leaving with the crying mare. Penny didn’t bother correcting him about not being a Prench Guard. Equestrians were not very well verse in the differences in the armors of law enforcement of their various southern nations. To the uninformed, all the armors looked the same even though Penny had a very large white magic crystal in her silver armor, reflective of her high rank in the Bitalian Royal Knights.

The next group were the three servants of the friends. The butlers for the two friends were quickly dismissed after only a few questions, but Penny kept Pretty Skirt’s butler behind for further questioning. The butler’s name was Flaxton.

“I have been told that you killed your former mistress?”

“I was acquitted for the death of my former master.”

“Did you kill him?”

“I don’t have to answer that question under Prench law.”

He was referring to a law preventing a pony from being accused of the same crime again after they were found not guilty even if future evidence was found.

“...Very well. Then let us get to the hay of the matter. Were you responsible for the explosion that killed Pretty Shirt, your employer?”

“No, I wasn’t.” The lie detection spell checked out.

She asked about the other explosive, and he passed there too. He didn’t have any suspicions about who it might have been, so Penny dismissed him.

“Fancypants, bring in the next group.”

“Right away, but may I step out for this one. I have something to get from my luggage.”

Penny allowed this. She didn’t really think the next group would be guilty anyways.

Princess Cadence and Ambassador Fleur de Lis entered as Fancypants left.

They stated their names and passed all the questions involving the incident. Before Penny dismissed them, Autumn made an off-hand comment.

“You know, I was fully expecting Fleur de Lis to be Fancypants’s wife. You two looked pretty close.”

The dryad covered her mouth immediately after realizing she said what she had been thinking that out loud. She might not be as adept with sensing the invisible love connections between people as Bodo, but she thought she could feel a spark between the two as they passed each other in the door to the cabin Penny was using for interviews. Plus, the two ponies looked to be together in the show though that was in the future if her guess of their timeline placement was correct (that is before the rise of Nightmare Moon).

Fleur de Lis blushed while the two other mares in the room went slack jawed. Cadence was the first to recover.

“Those tabloids were telling the truth?” the Princess asked with a mixture of incredulity and outrage.

“It is better than the tabloids that said we were together,” the Ambassador countered. “I still remember Shiny’s face when he saw them.”

“He is a married stallion,” the alicorn of love retorted, not being distracted by the reference to her fiance.

“You more than anypony should know the heart follows no rules and will not be denied.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“And have you react like this?”

“I could have helped!”

“You would have messed with my emotions, so I wouldn’t love him anymore!”

“It would have been better than pining over a married stallion. Marriage is until death do we part, Fleur.”

‘Huh, so ponies don’t allow divorce,’ Autumn inferred. ‘I guess the show does paint a pretty idealistic vision of love, but it obviously doesn’t work for everypony.’

Penny promptly dismissed the two mares, so they could continue their argument in their cabin.

The only conscious person left was Mackey.

He entered the room and gave Penny a cold glare.

‘What is his problem?’ the knight thought.

“Did you have anything to do with the murder of Pretty Skirt and the two magical explosions?”

Thomas said ‘No’ twice. The first time the lie detector didn’t react, and the second time it did.

“Wha….?!” Penny spluttered, making Autumn laugh.

“The sky is purple. Two plus two is five. I am seventy-two years old.”

None of this caused a reaction.

“The sky is blue. Two plus two is four. I am seventy-two years old.”

Each sentence caused a spark to come from the knight’s horn, indicating lies.

“Wha…?!” she spluttered again before recomposing herself. Not everyday does someone demonstrate that your special talent and the magic spell you based your career on is so deeply flawed. When Bodo had done it, the loopholes he found were understandable. You just had to be more specific with your questions. This was on another level. “How did you do that?!”

“Simple,” Thomas stated. “The speaker decides what they mean by their words before they speak. All I have to do is regard what I am saying as either nonsense or qualify them with something that makes them true. After all, a good portion of what we mean by what we say is unspoken.”

“The sky is purple?”

“If by purple I mean blue and blue is purple, then yes.”

“Two plus two equals five?”

“If we add a rule that says pairs of the same number means we add one more point. It was a rule in a game that I used to play as a child.”

“You are seventy-two years old?”

“Depends on whether I mean exactly seventy-two years or not.”

“You are really seventy-two years old?”

“I think you are missing the point,” Thomas replied with an upraised hand. “The point is that your whole lie detection spell is worthless if someone knows how to get around it.”

“Only you changelings have figured out a way around it.”

“That doesn’t mean others haven’t also figured it out,” Autumn countered.

Penny wracked her brain for several palpable moments. Then she ran out of the interview cabin. The two changelings followed, but she told them to stand back. The knight bursted into the cabin with Princess Cadence and Ambassador Fleur de Lis in it. The two mares screamed.

“What is the meaning of this?!” the alicorn demanded.

The knight ignored her, instead casting a magical spell through the room. Her spell picked something up in the Ambassador’s saddlebags. Opening them, she found another can similar to the one found in Pretty Skirt and Grumpy’s respective cabins. (The latter was found shortly before gathering everypony in the dining cart earlier.) The two national figures screamed again as the armored mare threw the device out the window where it exploded when it contacted with the ground.

“Lady Knight, what is the meaning of this?” Fleur questioned after calming down.

“If you want to know, meet us all back in the dining cart. It is time to reveal who really killed Pretty Skirt.”

Equus Bravo - Prance - Two minutes minutes south of the Prance-Equestria Border - Pony Express 999

The ponies were once again gathered in the dining cart. Thomas was the only one not present as he was being trusted with the care of the two living victims.

“Well, who done did it?” Autumn asked, earning her a roll of the eyes from the knight.

First Penny walked to Flaxton. "At first, I thought this case would be solved quickly. The butler is always the first suspect in a murder. I am not surprised he was accused for killing his former master, and it makes sense the Pretty Skirt hired you. At least this time, the butler is not the murderer."

Second Penny walked to Fancypants. "The adulterous husband, who was trapped in an unhappy marriage before the murder of his wife, quickly tried to make me an ally in the investigation. I was happy to have him with me even if it broke protocol because then I could keep an eye on him. I considered the bombs, which didn't do any physical damage. I thought how perfect it must be for the lover of upholstery to have bombs that didn't do any damage to the cabin furnishings. However, despite all this evidence pointing at him, this stallion was not the murderer."

The ponies in the cabin gasped (or looked scandalized).

"I am far too great an investigator to be fooled by all this evidence meant to frame mostly innocent ponies. The real killer of Pretty Skirt was herself."

"You are telling me my wife killed herself?"

"Precisely!" Dame Honest Penny proclaimed. "Allow me to weave you the tale of a mare desperate for the excitement. You see Pretty Skirt missed the times when her husband still loved her. Murder mysteries became her fix, particularly ones written by Agate Crystal. She became so obsessed with them that she hired Flaxton just because of the rumors he had killed his former master; however, that wasn't enough. She wanted to participate in her own real murder mystery. Pretty Skirt was a mere amateur, though. She triggered her own magic explosive in her lap, killing herself."

"Why did Pretty Skirt target Grumpy?" Fancypants wondered.

"That is because the bomb wasn't intended for Grumpy. They were for Princess Cadence and Ambassador Fleur. The cabins rearranged by some changeling vigilantes in Bitaly, so ponies had to decide whether they would sit in their assign cabins with strangers or take a different unoccupied cabin."

"But that doesn't explain how an explosive appeared in my bag," the unicorn ambassador countered. "You already checked all of our rooms and luggage. Plus, the explosive would need to be remotely detonated."

"That is because Pretty Skirt wasn't alone. She had accomplices from her overzealous book club out to foalnap an Equestrian princess and a Prench ambassador. Did you want to replace them and cause a war between Prance and Equestria? Or were you just a bunch of anti-monarchists?"

"Preposterous!" Merryweather shouted.

"You have no evidence!" Black Hoof retorted. "It is far more likely the butler or her husband helped her."

"I would have thought that too until I remembered something. Black Hoof, how old would you say you are?"

"I am thirty-two. I fail to see how this is important."

"You know that three years old is a pretty young age for a field medic in the Griffonian conflict, or should I say a changeling in the Griffonian Conflict? No wonder you knew how to treat Bodo and talk yourself around my lie detection spell. Merryweather place the second bomb, didn't see? That is why you answered on her behalf there."

The room was completely silent. The train attendant entered the dining car with food.

“I am happy to tell you that we have officially entered Equestria,” the clueless pony announced before attempting and failing to take the ponies’ orders.

“You are too late now, Prench Guard,” Black Hoof declared. “We are outside your jurisdiction now we are on Equestrian soil.”

“Why do you assume I am a Prench Guard? Through the Roaming Accord, I hereby arrest Black Hoof and Merryweather for attacking the changeling Bodo, who was and currently is under the protection of Bitalian Royal Knights.”

"Leader, run!" Merryweather told Black Hoof.

"Gladius and Autumn, help Merryweather!" the stallion shouted while shooting a green lightning bolt that sizzled the dining tables as it passed by. Penny's armor reacted with a shield, which withstood the bolt for a few seconds before being punctured. The knight collapsed in a fit of spasms as her armor tried to neutralize the electrical magic.

The pseudo-dryad's eyes flashed for a moment as the fancily dressed light gray pegasus mare named Merryweather charged at the temporarily incapacitated Bitalian Guard. Autumn stepped in front of Penny to protect the downed knight, not being phased by Black Hoof's order. The fast pegasus had enough training to react, Autumn didn't. Swerving up, Merryweather bucked the tall dryad in the chin with her forehooves. Autumn fell backwards onto Fancypants like a cut down tree.

Fleur de Lis took over fighting the pegasus, using a magic fencing style involving casting multiple element spells and fancy hoofwork. It looked as if she were a matador dancing around a flying bull, but in this case they were two mares.

The stallion’s servant, previously an unassuming earth pony mare, dropped her disguise to reveal a large changeling. Her dark turquise armor resembled the one worn by Phallanx, so the dazed Autumn surmised that she was a Praetorian Guard. Where there was a Praetorian Guard, there was a Praetor being guarded. The implication fell to the back of the pseudo-dryad’s mind as she engaged Gladius.

Autumn got up and held her staff like a minigun. Dozens of thorns shot out of it, hitting the opposing changeling, who felt nothing.

‘I don’t know why I thought that thorns would work against armor and chitin,’ Autumn thought as the Praetorian Guard rammed her against the wall. The dryad pushed herself back up and used her staff to latch onto Gladius; however, the changeling just flew as away from Autumn, towing her around like she was nothing. ‘Why is she so much stronger than me? If the guards are like this, I don’t want to face a Praetor.’

By this point, all the civilian ponies were hiding under their tables and Black Hoof was making his exit. Before he did, Cadence tried to stop him with a shield over the door.

“What magic did you use to get those mares to try to foal nap me?” she demanded to know.

“None at all.” He bucked the alicorn right in the chest with enough force to break some ribs and knock her out.

The shield dropped, and Black Hoof took advantage of the subsequent panic to escape.

Dame Honest Penny had finally recovered from her daze. After casting a restraining spell on Merryweather's wings, the knight turned her attention to the Praetorian Guard. Penny saw the changeling Autumn was trying and failing to deal with. Her eyes went white with pure magic as she summoned an ethereal scythe. It was time to do some reaping of evildoers.

“Let it go, Autumn!”

The dryad didn’t need any convincing. She released the changeling who immediately blasted the accountant out of the dining car into the next passenger car. Autumn was hurt but not unconscious.

Penny engaged the creature, making wide sweeps to keep the changeling cornered. The knight managed to lop off a hoof from the changeling which caused it to gush green flames. Gladius didn’t seem to mind as she took an opportunity to bite into the scythe, which caused a part of it to disappear and her hoof to regenerate.

“Impossi-”

Before the knight could finish speaking, Gladius gave her the same 'love tap' as she had given Autumn earlier. Penny landed with her plot in the air right next to the dryad, who picked her up.

“Trust me. I saw this in the show,” Autumn told Penny as she reached to the pony’s tail. The knight had no idea what the dryad was talking about or doing. Autumn started cranking knight’s tail like a gatling gun, which surprisingly caused her to horn to shoot out kinetic blasts. This time the shots didn’t bounce off the chitin. Unable to eat the high speed projectiles, Gladius took damage without recovering. A few of Penny’s blasts blew out the train car wall. The changeling took this as her opportunity to escape.

The dryad grinned that she had successfully got her gatling idea to work, even if it wasn't with her own powers.

When Gladius was out of sight, the Penny swiped at dryad’s hand on her tail. “Never do that again!”

“It worked didn’t it?”

“I have no idea that was possible, but does a hole in the train and two free criminals look like a job well done to you?”

“Well, when you put it that way, yeah it looks pretty bad. But at least we caught Merryweather.”

Autumn gave Penny a smile.

“What is it now?” the irritated mare asked.

“Oh nothing. Just you said you are going to protect us. You do care!”

“I told you I was here to protect you from the beginning I joined you on this crazy train. Anyways, I still very willing to throw you into prison. Now I have assault of a Royal Knight added to the list of your group’s crimes.”

Autumn ignored the pony’s words as she just gave Penny a hug. The knight rolled her eyes but didn’t complain. It was later discovered that the dryad had suffered a multiple concussions from her fight.

Equus Bravo - Minos Peninsula - Changeling Hive - Nursery

Queen Chrysalis gave a circumspect glance over the thousands of pods before her. She had just received a report of Praetor Black Hoof’s failure to capture the Princess of Love. The matriarch had hoped to take the pony’s place in order to eventually infiltrate Equestria. Black Hoof had mentioned three changeling drones who were also on mission to Equestria and must have had orders directly from her in order to disobey him. Her mind cycled through all her active drones until she remembered. ‘It looks like my three little snacks are turning out to be more interesting than I expected. I will look forward to their quarterly report at the end of October.’

Changeling calendars were a month later than Equestrian ones, starting in February instead of January, which is why the third quarter ended in October.

Putting away those thoughts, the Queen’s mind returned to her new children. All the aggressive harvesting had paid off. She would soon have an army will conquer and grow exponentially. Chrysalis walked through the pods that grew life in them and stopped before the three largest ones. They didn’t belong to new changelings but rather three drones the Queen was remaking from the hoof up into the Praetor/Mater class. They had possessed an uncanny amount of knowledge of theoretical physics but needed discipline. The reconstruction process would give them the kind of undying loyalty and independence simple mind control can’t.

‘Equus and all the other Equus’s won’t know what hit them when I am through.’ Chrysalis started laughing maniacally beside herself before returning to managing the love flow in her hive.

Author's Note

The title and Agate Crystal is an homage to Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie.

Black Hoof is a reference to the Black Hand, which was partially responsible for the start of WWI.