Twinkling Through The Dark

Sunrise in the Crystal Empire was always something to behold for any pony not born in the empire to appreciate its beauty. The sight of all of the various coloured crystals sparkling and reflecting in the sunlight can take your breath away, it also was a major attraction for visitors. Even to the residents living there on a constant basis, it was not enough to diminish its beauty. Most ponies at this time were not too busy and tended to relax.

But for a unicorn living in an obscure home in a backstreet on the city’s edge, today wasn’t like that. Sunburst was almost always something or a recluse, mostly coming out of his house for his official duties and daily routines. Reuniting with his foal-hood friend, Starlight Glimmer made him get out more, but not by much as his years of near isolation made him very socially awkward.

However, he felt different being around Starlight, he could not describe it as if he felt he had to be around her for when he was alone, his overall spirit and feeling of self-confidence and worth seemed to dissipate. So every time she’d come to visit him, he felt more, well alive to put it simply. As he was preparing for his trip to Ponyville, he heard a knock on his door.

“Good Morning. What can I do for you?” Sunburst answering the door on to find it was Shining Armour at his front door. Sunburst instinctively bowed to the prince, with Shining rolling his eyes and picking Sunburst off the floor.

“How many times have I told you about bowing to me or Cadance?” Shining said. Like his sister, Shining had grown to not like the formalities that came with his title, especially the bowing and saluting. Years of being in the royal guard have made him numb to it to the point where if there wasn’t a need for it, he’d try to avoid it.

“I can’t help it, force of habit. What brings you here at this time of the morning? If it’s about Flurry Heart, I can be over at the castle in a moment.” Sunburst asked as he was always willing to see and watch over the baby alicorn for he loved to spend time seeing her playing in the castle, although not when she uses her magic to pull at his mane, cloak or run off with his glasses.

“No it’s not about Flurry, she’s fine although she is upset that Twily won’t be coming over for Hearth’s Warming this year.” Shining said expressing that his daughter loved her aunt and was looking forward to seeing her again. “Oh, did you want to come in? I’ve got the kettle going so did you want some Tea?” Sunburst asked for standing in a doorway in the cold is not exactly a good place for a conversation.

“Sure, why not.” Shining said coming inside, although he was a bit worried about the state of Sunburst’s home with books, potions and scrolls scattered all over the place. As the two stallions sat down at a small round table Sunburst asked about the state of Twilight. “I’ve heard something happened with Princess Twilight? Is she going to be alright?” Sunburst asked, knowing that the news of what had happened would hit Shining more, being his sister and all.

“Twily is going to be fine, although when we first heard the news, I was deeply worried. Which you can understand being her older brother I can be protective of her, sometimes a bit too overprotective. Oh which reminds me, Twilight has summoned you to immediately meet up with her on a royal assignment.” Shining explained his concern for his sister before handing Sunburst the letter.

Internally, Sunburst’s heart sank like a stone, for he knew that after Hearth’s Warming, he would not be able to see Starlight for at least 6 months. He could still write to her during this time but it wasn’t the same as having her with him in person. Shining picked up on the growing look of despair in Sunburst’s face and knew what he was going through and then told Sunburst what he’d love to hear right now.

“Don’t worry Sunburst, Starlight is going to join you too.” Shining said as he saw Sunburst’s face light up with joy. It was then Shining knew what his wife was telling him about. “Sunburst, delivering you this letter wasn’t the only reason we had come here.”

“Really? I thought it was a bit weird for a prince to be delivering mail, wait, ‘we’?” Sunburst said as the door was knocked on again and Sunburst went over to answer the door. Why do I all of a sudden have all of these visitors? Sunburst thought to himself as he opened the door and saw Princess Cadance and Flurry Heart alongside her mother, all snuggled in warm jackets.

“Cadance? What brings you hear this early? Come on in, I don’t want you to get cold. Oh you brought Flurry along, she just looks so adorable in that Cadance.” Sunburst said as he admitted the Princess and her daughter, who was sleeping on her mother’s back.

“Actually, we had come to help you out Sunburst.” Princess Cadance said explaining her and her husband’s presence.
“Me? I don’t understand what I need help with. And sorry if I’m being rude or anything but I need to get ready to head off to, um, where is Princess Twilight anyway?” Sunburst said, trying not to offend the royal couple as he tried to organise all of the packs and bags he was taking.

“You are getting flown to her location for she has requested that you aren’t told where you are heading off to. We have arranged a chariot to pick you up, it should be here in about an hour.” Shining stated.

“In the meantime, we need to ask a few questions.” Sunburst nodded, then Cadance continued. “How do you feel when you are around Starlight? Cadance asked for she’d knew that there was something about those two that she could not ignore.

“What do you mean? I mean is great to have her around, we love to spend time together studding magic, watching the great views of the empire and in general enjoying each other’s company for we had been separated for so long you understand?” Sunburst answered, trying to keep his composure but he was thinking he was getting an idea of why they had come to see him.

“And when she leaves, how do you feel then?” Cadance went on. “Well, I do miss her, for we love to see each other and…” Sunburst answered realising that his face was starting to burn up and growing smirks on Shining Armor and Cadance’s faces. Sunburst realised that he was being trapped in a mental corner, getting asked awkward questions about a subject that was not only personal, but deeply traumatic and depressive to him. Then Sunburst started to get defensive.

“Stop it! I and Starlight are just friends ok! Why are you two asking such invasive questions!?” Sunburst shouted at them.
“Sunburst, we are not here to judge you or your feelings for Starlight, we are here to help you express those emotions so that they don’t bottle up inside you.” Cadance said with a growing look of worry in her face.

“You don’t need to suppress them either, you may not realise it, but it’s hurting you more than you like to show and deep down, you know it true.” Shining said also worried by what was tearing Sunburst apart on the inside.

“I’m not hiding anything! Like I said, Starlight is just a friend of mine! Look I understand you are worried about me but there is nothing going on between me and Starlight.” Sunburst continued denying all claims of affectionate feelings towards Starlight, but Cadance could see right through his denials.

“Sunburst, I’m the Princess of Love. I can sense the feelings of other ponies love and affection for one another, and just to let you know even if you don’t admit it yourself; your love for Starlight is so strong I can sense it even if you are on the other side of Equestria.” Cadance stated and it was then that Sunburst realised that he could not deny it any longer for now anymore attempts to do so were now futile.

“FINE! I do love her, OK! I love her more that the whole of Equestria, she is sweet, kind, understanding, passionate and so beautiful that it hurts me deeply knowing that I’m not worthy of her affection. I mean, why should she love me? She’s one of the most powerful unicorns in Equestria, a protégé of the Princess of Friendship, a saviour of all Equestria, a pony capable of traversing the bonds of space and time. While I’m a pathetic excuse for a unicorn, I’m barely able to get beyond basic telekinesis! You tell me, why she should even care about me! Or if any pony should love this absolute failure of a pony that I am!” Sunburst exploded in an emotional rant and at the end, burying his head in his hooves and crying his heart out.

“Sunburst, do you really think that Starlight wouldn’t love you for not being able to perform advanced magic?” Cadance said while rubbing Sunburst's back trying to reassure him. “To tell you the truth, Starlight has the same feelings towards you as you do towards her. But what I don’t understand is why you two haven’t expressed these feelings?” Cadance asked trying to get understand why Sunburst and Starlight won’t express their true feelings for one another.

“Well, is that I’m afraid. I’m afraid that if I lose her again, I just… I just don’t know what to do. When we were separated, initially I was excited but it took me longer to realise than I should of that I was truly lost without her. By the time I did realised how much I missed her, I tried to get into contact again, unfortunately by that time, she had disappeared without a trace. At that point I had become so grief struck that I could not move on with my life and isolated myself for years until Princess Twilight found me here and reunited me with Starlight.”

“Look, I know Starlight had it a lot worse than what I went through, but I don’t what it to happen all over again. Starlight doesn’t deserve me for what did to her and if it were to happen again, I just could not live with myself knowing the pain I would inflict upon her.” Sunburst went on explaining his deepest fears and thinking that he was responsible for the complete destruction of Starlight’s life and that he thought that after all that had happened, he should never even try to get into a relationship with Starlight.

After that Cadance and Shining Armour understood what he was going through and were hugging the emotional wreck Sunburst was becoming. Even little Flurry Heart, awoken to the yelling, came up upon the table and joined in, although she was way too young to understand what was going on, she could react to a pony being upset and would always try to hug as well. Cadance noticed this and was also tearing up.

“Sunburst, I can fully understand what you are going through now for I once also held the same fears and anxieties.” Shining said, seeing in Sunburst, what he once was years ago. “You…., you did?” Sunburst said as he wiped the tears flowing from his eyes and putting his glasses back on.

“Of course, I once thought that I wasn’t worthy of the attention and love of Cadance. How could a guard ever earn the respect and love of a princess? But I loved her so much that I would do anything for her and in the end, that’s what convinced her that I was worthwhile and needless to say, the rest is history. However at the end of the day, all you have to do is to show Starlight that you love her for who she is, and to show what lengths you would go to support her, whatever the situation. And most importantly, don’t act like the pony who you think you should be, but just be yourself.” Shining went on explaining that it’s not your abilities that makes some pony love you, but it’s who you are that is more important.

“But what if that is not enough? How could I be sure that she’d even consider me worthwhile after everything that’s happened?” Sunburst said, worried that that might not be enough.

“You have to try, and if you don’t, you might regret it for the rest of your life. Now ask yourself Sunburst, could you live with yourself if you could have tried to express your feelings and allow Starlight to do the same and chose not to out of fear? I’d think that would be the worst outcome for the both of you, but in the end it is up to you and Starlight and you two alone to sort this out.” Cadance went on worried that if they don’t do this, it might be worse than what had already happened before.

“Ok…. Ok I’ll do it, for her. I just can't stand to see Starlight upset and all alone.” Sunburst said with a determined tone to his voice. “Now that’s the spirit Sunburst! Now I think that’s the chariot, do you have everything you need?” Shining asked. “I think so, wait, I’d almost forgot.” Sunburst grabbing a pink gift box with a lavender bow from behind a book and he then quickly put it into his saddle bag. He tried to hide it from sight but Cadance got a glimpse of the gift but refrained from saying anything for she felt like she had done enough to expose Sunburst’s emotional pain and suffering for one day.

“I hope it all goes well for you Sunburst, for I think that Starlight is one lucky mare to have some pony as devoted and caring as you.” Cadance went on trying to encourage Sunburst although it was not helping his nervousness. “Cadance, stop it! You are making me blush even more!” Sunburst said with ever reddening cheeks.

“What? I’m being completely honest here. Also I’m practicing for when Flurry Heart is older so I can embarrass her like any self-respecting parent should.” Cadance said while giving Sunburst a wink and with the biggest smirk on her face. “Tell Twily we said we all love her very much!” Shining asked Sunburst when he sees Twilight.

“Of course, hopefully this turns all right, for all of us.” Sunburst remarked just before he got on the chariot as Cadance and Shining Armour loaded his belongings and bided him farewell. As Sunburst was admiring the scenery below him, he would have no idea how this task was going to affect his whole life, and of those closest to him.