Hazama had just finally been about to make himself comfortable nestling into a corner when the train lurched violently, nearly tipping him flat on his side. Momentarily panicked, his hand clung to his hat while his other stretched out to steady himself. He could have sworn the locomotives back home weren't nearly as violent when they stopped, but then he supposed that most people would be sitting on a seat and not in a completely empty cargo carriage.

The guard, Remix Heart he reminded himself, seemed much more prepared for the stop and barely swayed as they pulled into the station. That, and she was working with four legs and wasn't sitting down. Stupid horses and their slight evolutionary advantage.

At the very least, she seemed to have dried up her waterworks and wasn't even sniffling quietly anymore.

He pushed off of the ground with one hand, rising back up into a sitting position with a muffled grunt of irritation, to which the mare winced and practically leaped forward to support him.

"S-Sorry! I should have been bracing you for that way before we stopped. It was just..." She trailed off, possibly realising that there was no need to explain herself to a mindless animal, before shaking her head and proceeding to help him off the ground.

The chains still irritated Hazama greatly, if only because he never liked walking with his hands behind his back. He much preferred them either on his hat or at his side, thank you very much, but for a multitude of reasons that was blatantly not an option.

Leaning his head to the side, he was able to get a brief look through the tiny slit-like window at the top of the compartment. From what little he had been able to see, the train station appeared to be mostly unguarded save for a pair of identical stallions at either end with no obvious weapons in sight. It was a mostly open-air station, but the structure prevented him from catching a glimpse of the city he had been taken to. Well, presumably it was a city at any rate, though that particular assumption sprung mostly from the fact that Hazama had previously lived in a world where 23 cities were all that remained of Humanity. Or... 22, given that Ikaruga was in a... less than ideal state of existence.

It was much too strange to think about. He never intended on returning home, and nor did he ever plan to discuss his previous life with anyone. Yet it still occurred to him that he would never be able to use any of the vast stores of information he had collected over the years. True, it might make for interesting reading for some scientifically-minded horses if he were to write down facts and figures about Earth, but all of the stock values and criminal connections pertaining to various businesses were now void.

'I suppose,' Hazama thought, absently noting the horse tugging at his chain as he refused to shift from his position, 'That in some ways I actually kind of miss my job. Or... Is it just that it would be preferable to my current situation?' he mused, looking down just as his current keeper moved to tug back with the chain in her mouth. Ever the helpful gentleman, Hazama decided to start moving forward right as she pulled, causing the armoured mare to topple onto the floor with a surprised yelp.

Were the little act of his not as important as it was, he would have been inclined to fix the mare with his most famous sickeningly polite smile. Alas, he had to settle with blinking dumbly at the horse's miffed expression as she shot him her own 'look'.

'It's the small things in life...'

Getting off of the train had been a relatively smooth affair all things considered, though it would likely have been much more crowded had there not been two rows of Royal Guards parading side to side with a Human jutting out in their midst.

That didn't mean there were no whispers, however, and Hazama heard more than a few of the suddenly clothed horses getting uppity for one reason or another.

"What in Equestria did they need to block the station for? A Human?"

"I have a very tight schedule to keep! This is simply outrageous."

If there was one thing that Hazama learned in that moment, it was that rich assholes were the same in any plane of existence. The very moment that someone presumably popular voiced an opinion, the rest of the crowd devolved into mutters of 'indeed' and other such agreements.

He looked over to see who had spoken, but he couldn't discern the original speaker through the sea of monocles, frilly clothing, and utterly inferior hats. Upon that note, he had to repress a particularly derisive snort as he was slowly led through the parting crowd.

Though lacking the know-how concerning how the station usually was, it appeared that he had chosen the wrong day to get 'caught' if the bustling horde was any indication. Horses milled around each other, despite the stifled cries of those who had their ridiculous dresses trampled upon. The scent of perfume and cologne was thick in the air, an almost visible mist surrounding each individual as the Guards tried their best to make their way through to the main street.

It didn't get much better upon making it out. In fact, the situation only seemed to worsen. A huge number of richer-looking folk lined the streets, their eyes seeming to immediately latch on to the new arrival. The raucous bunch seemed to grow a few decibels quieter, before the short moment was immediately shattered by an increase in the previous level of volume. All at once, the small entourage was surrounded on every side, the Guards doing their level best to balance not being overly forceful with them alongside giving him enough breathing room on the offchance he grew violent at the sudden pressure.

He was tired, annoyed, and had things he needed to do with his time other than wading through a waist-high ocean of Ponies. They were right to fear him

His wandering eye picked out the same mare from earlier, Remix Heart, struggling to hold the tide back from surging forward, which confused him momentarily as to why the crowd would be so desperate to get closer. Confused, that is, until he heard what the horses were saying.

"500 Bits for the Human." Said one particularly bored looking stallion, one of his hooves held in the air as a file ran along its edges.

"600!" Shouted another, heard only dimly through the low roar, only for the previous 'gentleman' to frown even deeper than before.

"601."

"650!"

"651."

Hazama fought against the urge to grit his teeth and snarl at the crowd. All of them were calling out numbers of 'Bits' they would offer in exchange for...Him, presumably, though for what he had no idea. He had a vague idea that bits were the currency of the area from casual remarks made by Fluttershy, but he had figured that richer types might use a different system.

Around the very edges of the crowd stood a row of horses with other Humans, which were garbed in various makeshift clothes made out of loose fibers. Stranger still, they all seemed to be comfortable with the crowd, and stood mostly silent. He would have called them more of those Watch-humans like the ones in town if not for the signs around their necks. Numbers appeared to be written on them.

Like that, everything slot into place in Hazama's mind. Nobles and rich fuckers being who they were, there were very few things that would cause them to bundle into a tight crowd the way they were currently doing. One reason that they would ever put up with the 'disrespect' caused by the situation: a chance to show off their money.

This was an auction. A Human auction. That explained the prices being screamed at him from all angles, and the reason that the Guards had all shot each other a worrying look before fixing their facade and stepping off the train with him in tow.

Admittedly he hadn't studied much into the Humans of this planet, but Hazama knew more than enough to figure out that he was a very good specimen by the horses' standards, even if he was lankier than most of the people back on Earth. Add that to the obviously expensive clothes, seemingly immaculate 'hair dye', and put a crowd of aggravatingly rich folk into the mix. You end up with the situation at hand.

The worst part of it all was that he really didn't have any way to solve the problem. If he acted aggressively to scare the horses off then there would be no telling how the Guards would try and restrain him next. Same outcome if he tried to escape. The only option available to him was grinning and bearing it, but without the grinning.

Finally managing to pass off of the main street and into a different road was a relief for the entire party; the group all pausing to compose themselves at the orders of Shining Armour, who seemed to have aged a decade from the experience. It was quite a sight: a squad of Guards all collapsing against a wall and massaging their temples.

Hazama decided to remain standing, fighting back the urge to wander off in a random direction just to annoy them. Not only would it have made them more angry with him than they already were, but he needed to appear as subservient as possible for his plan to work.

"How are you holding up, Boulder? I saw you almost fall over back there."

He slid his gaze to the corner of his vision, where the Captain himself was looking down at the same stallion from before with a wry smirk on his face. The dark green horse raised a hoof in response, showing off something to his superior.

"Got this nasty lil' hit. Probably gonna bruise. My bad, though. Thought Remix had that angle covered."

It was weird to hear the creature talk respectfully after the incident on the train, and the feeling was apparently mutual with the brown mare herself, who had noticeably flinched at his words, eyes locked onto the back of the stallion's head with obvious distaste. She had the decency to look abashed, however, once Captain Armour turned to face her.

"Is this true, Remix Heart?" He asked the mare coldly, officially. His voice lacked any of the camaraderie he had just been directing at the other male, which drew the wary eyes of the rest of the squad that hadn't already been looking their way.

The mare in question didn't know what to say, because the accusation was most definitely true. She had easily spotted the pushy noble trying to shove past the group on his way to his next chance of acquiring a Human, only an idiot would have missed it, and Remix Heart wasn't an idiot. Most of the time. When she had spotted who he would have to go through, however, she decided to veer off to the left, encroaching slightly on another squad-member's area under the pretense of helping them out while Boulder Dash got forcefully bumped into. She hadn't known it would leave a bruise, or that Boulder would have noticed her actions.

"I..." She mumbled, weighing her options. If she said that she was protecting another Guard, that would call into question the aforementioned Guard's abilities to handle his or herself. While the inkling of doubt sown by something like that would not have any openly negative effects, there was always the chance that their supposed lapse in attention would get them denied a promotion over somepony else, for example.

"It's true." Remix Heart conceded, bowing her head to the ground, "I wasn't where I needed to be, and there isn't an excuse for my actions"

"Ok, sure... Just... make sure it doesn't happen again, and all that." Shining Armour rubbed an eye with the back of his hoof, seeming far too fatigued with the day's events to properly reprimand her.

The brown mare blinked, feeling strangely underwhelmed with the lack of punishment. But then, she supposed none of the squad was in very good condition after today. As if dealing with the green haired Human wasn't enough of a problem, the bi-monthly Human auction had been in full swing. It said a lot about Canterlot that despite everypony's individual flaws, they could all come together and... buy pets.

Remix shook her head, deciding to stop attempting to justify the idiocy of the Nobles.

Hazama watched keenly as the Guards all started to move and gather together again, placing their helmets back on their heads. Information was key after all, and even the most minute knowledge of the Royal Guard's operations would likely prove useful for his plans.

He mentally stopped short. Plans? What plans? He didn't have any of those; he'd not yet had to make any. Outside of today's misadventures and the day he'd first arrived on the planet, his life in Equestria had been relatively dull. Or, as dull as entering a new world of talking horses and dumb Humans could be. There was nothing to plan for. As much as he enjoyed inflicting pain upon others, there wasn't any reason for him to do so.

The thought had crossed his mind several times over the course of his stay, but it was extraordinarily liberating to not have any grand, world-threatening schemes on his mind. Nothing that required his constant attention, nobody looking to kill him, and other than needing to act dumb most of the time, he could live peacefully. And that became somewhat dull after a while. It was part of the reason he had decided to fight the Guards in the first place, among...Less than pleasant alternative reasons.

As the herd of Guards started to form their rectangle around him once more, Hazama continued to think; this time about the next move. Obviously he wouldn't be taken to the palace itself, that would present far too much of a risk in the event that he tried to attack the rulers. No, it was much more likely that he was to be taken to a prison cell where the Princesses would judge him 'safely' through bars, or a magic shield, or whatever else they decided to do. In that event, he could potentially still break out and attack whoever he wanted, but there was no reason for them to know that.

'Or,' thought Hazama a short while later, 'They could take me straight to the castle. That is also certainly an option.'

The squad had corralled him down relatively empty roads for several minutes, suddenly glad that the locals were too distracted by the nearby auction to pay any particular attention to one of many impressive looking Humans being walked away from the main street.

Sure enough, they had soon ended up facing the entrance to the palace. Up close, Hazama decided that it was an even more impressive structure than the big crystal tree in Ponyville, though it still paled in comparison to the architecture put into the Hierarchical Cities. He had to admit, however, that where the cities of his home-world were a feat of grand scale and practical design, the two palaces he had seen thus far on this new planet were much more aesthetically pleasing to look at.

Captain Armour took that moment to advance ahead of the group, conversing quickly and quietly with one of two identical stallions parked outside the ornate looking door.

"Alright, we have permission to enter. The Princesses are both waiting inside, so before we go inside... Are we one-hundred percent sure that the Human will not be any threat to them?" Shining Armour asked once the rest of the squad had approached.

Boulder Dash and several other horses that Hazama didn't know the name of stepped closer to him, tugging at the chains around his wrists every which way to make sure he had no reasonable means of escape. The Guards had attempted to place some form of binding magic on him before they had boarded the train, but once more the spells just seemed to fade away as though they were streams of water hitting a steel wall. And that particular phenomenon was not helpful in getting the Guards to trust him, no doubt.

Though he also held the minor suspicion that kicking the shit out of their friend might not have endeared him to them in any way, shape, or form.

"It's as good as we're going to get, Captain." One of the Guards behind him spoke as the impromptu security check came to an end.

Shining Armour seemed to tense up, his hoof pressed against one side of the double doors with his eyes locked on the Human behind him. And then he turned to one of the two stoic stallions to the side.

"You said the Princesses. As in...Plural."

Not even blinking in response to the question, or deigning to look the way of the Captain, the helmeted horse nodded.

"Correct. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are both in attendance."

"That's what I was afraid you'd said..." Shining Armour mumbled, though everybody nearby clearly picked up on it, and mirrored the sentiments if the wave of shudders running through the Guards were any indication.

Hazama inconspicuously raised an eyebrow, as much as he could be as such with a platoon of Guards watching him. Was it the Celestia one they were afraid of, or the Luna one? Because he suspected that the one he was banking on to recognise him happened to be the latter. This whole thing might go to shit if he picked the scary one to rely on.

From what he remembered of her brief stay in his mind, she could be compared to the shitty Vampire Princess from his former home-world in her dialect and attitude. All 'worthless peasant' this and 'please stab me repeatedly because i'm so annoying' that. So very, uncannily similar.

'I think I may have made a big mistake...'

Celestia waited.

It was an activity she'd become practiced at. It was an activity she'd cultivated. It was an activity she'd mastered. It had been tested against Discord. Tested against Twilight's infinite curiosity. But she could never have anticipated the test presented to her on this very day.

The guards in the room shifted in place, waiting for the moment where the silence would be broken by the noise they all anticipated. They had been gathered hurriedly from their patrols around the castle, none of them quite believing the stories regaled to them about this new threat. A Human, supposedly strong enough to brutally take out the entire Pegasus section of a VHRS (Violent Human Retrieval Squad). It was a horrifying thought. What if this new Human wasn't the only one of its kind? What if, lying in wait in the homes of every Human owner in Equestria, was a vicious beast that could kill them if they desired? Thousands of innocent Ponies in danger.

A small amber gemstone lay on a short table at the base of the two thrones, the recording crystal that had witnessed the events they would be judging. The evidence contained within would likely shock everypony in the room.

Princess Luna yawned in a very unprincesslike manner, making every inhabitant of the throne room flinch.

"I do not need to be awake for this, sister."

Celestia's already-straight lips curled downwards imperceptibly as she glanced towards her grumpy sister. Luna was splayed unceremoniously over her throne and her hind legs dangled limply. The tips of her hooves almost touched the floor.

The Princess of the sun was somewhat inclined to agree with her sister, though she'd never give her the satisfaction of knowing so. 'Requesting' her presence was a heat-of-the moment decision that Celestia was coming to regret. At least she had calmed down. The first time she had let out a bellowing sigh, she had unceremoniously catapulted one of her cushions at a night-guard that looked nearly asleep. The exact words were, if Celestia recalled, 'If we cannot rest when we need to, then thou most certainly shan't!'

The elder Princess opened her mouth to console Luna for the umpteenth time that hour, only to be interrupted by one of the Guards by the door sending her a small twitch of the head that could, through some microscope or another, be construed as an affirmative nod. She returned the gesture. Closing her mouth and straightening her posture, Celestia was sure to clear her throat in her sister's direction, causing the tired mare to jolt upright into a sitting position.

It was as though the air in the room grew colder; every one of the guards lining the walls seemed to tense up, gripping their spears tightly even though they were more for ceremony than anything else. They hadn't been given any information on what they were dealing with, other than the fact that it was a Human, and it was powerful enough to face a full VHRS. As the heavy double-doors swung open with a groan that pierced the suddenly oppressive silence, a collective breath was taken.

Luna had been watching intently until the door had opened, flooding the room with light enough to make her sleep-deprived eyes clench shut. She could have sworn she also heard her sister chuckle under her breath when she recoiled away with a hiss. Blinking away the spots in her vision, she tried her best to make out the shapes coming through the door.

At the head of the group was clearly Prince Shining Armour judging by the shape of the helmet. That was good. If he was fine enough to walk and lead, then Cadance would have no reason to come complaining to them. And in the name of her sister, that mare could complain when it suited her.

Her vision was growing slightly better, and the group was edging closer with the slow, dull pace seemingly required when anything was done in front of her and her sister. Other Ponies, noticeably less than there should have been. All thanks to the creature in the middle.

Luna tried to make out the figure in the center of the party, but could only see that the supposed Human had an oddly shaped head, wider at the top like someone stuck a circle around it.

The doors at the end of the room swung shut.

Her vision cleared.

It was definitely a Human in front of her. The odd shape turned out to be...A hat. Stranger still was the Human attached to it. Memories of a few weeks ago. A strange dream. A talking Human. A talking Human that had kicked her out of her own domain.

She really couldn't help the indignant growl that tore itself from her throat, nor could she control its volume.

Every eye in the room was suddenly upon her. Some were wide with shock, some were wide with fear. Others with confusion, namely her sister. Luna didn't care. Her gaze was focused solely on the being at the foot of her throne.

Hazama, for his part, wished he could move his arms and grab hold his hat as the angry horse stared down at him in anger.

'A big mistake indeed...'

Author's Note

OH YEAH THIS IS A THING I'M MEANT TO BE DOING.

So it's been a while, no doubt about that. This chapter was just...Ugh, it'll probably go down as one of the hardest for me to write. You might ask why that is, and to that i'll say this chapter was rewritten twice before events played out like they did in the version you're seeing now.

The first draft focused almost entirely on the train and getting out of it, which is ridiculously bad pacing when the last TWO chapters have been mostly about the train.

The second draft, I decided to see if it was easier to write about the characters in Ponyville while all this went on. It wasn't. Outside of coming up with excuses for the mane six to talk to each other, I realised that all their conversations focused on Hazama. And let me just say, I do not want to be the kind of story where every other character's conversation or day needs to revolve around the protagonist.

With that contrived mess getting deleted, I lost the urge to write this chapter again. If any of you have ever played or watched the game 'Getting Over It' with Bennett Foddy, i'll tell you now that he's absolutely right. Starting over is much harder than doing something for the first time.

Funnily enough, I started writing again once I realised I was looking at other fanfictions I follow and silently begging for the author to update. I kid you not, one of my thoughts was "your story only has 6k word chapters and it's been a month!"

Needless to say, the moment I realised I was doing the same thing with even less of a word count average spurred me into action again.

Even then i think this chapter could have been more interesting, but whatever. It's done, thank God.

It's the miscellanious/music/useless corner once again. I'm bored with this chapter and just want it out at this point. Have Azrael's theme. Enjoy. Or don't, that's your pregorative.