Appearing in a strange realm of stars and celestial dust, Star Swirl the Bearded asked himself one important question, “Did I really just now combust?”

Well, one thing was for certain, Star Swirl had to right a wrong before somepony raised the curtain on his situation. With a white glow of Star Swirl’s magnificent horn, a new magnificent bell hat was born!

Or rather, summoned from a pocket dimension, though such things barely warranted a mention.

Taking a moment to readjust, this hero did his best to seem nonplussed. But truth be told, he was at a loss to explain the realm he now behold…

Sigh…

“Harlot was right…” Star Swirl admitted to himself begrudgingly. “I do change tense when I do that…” Star Swirl squinted as he looked out into the infinite distance of the celestial mist. Something was coming… no… two somethings… two large somethings. One of the large somethings was white in color, practically glowing with otherworldly light. The other something was slightly shorter and appeared almost black in this shining realm.

Star Swirl blinked a few times as he tried to make out these blurry shapes as they approached. Normally, he’d perhaps cast a few spells and ask questions later, but today, specifically the last few dozen minutes, had been quite the eye-opener. Perhaps some cautious optimism was in order.

Still, he mentally prepared himself to let loose a spell or two on the fly if necessary.

“Congratulations, Star Swirl,” one of the creatures… the white one called out in an unpleasantly mareis-AHEM- melodic feminine voice. “We knew you could… Uh… We suspected you might…” The white one hesitated once more. “We honestly had no idea you had it in you, but we’re pleased nonetheless.”

Star Swirl squinted harder and craned his neck forward. “Uh, thank you… Massive white giantess? What is it out of my many accomplishments that pleased you?”

There was the briefest of pauses before the darker creature broke into a fit of uproarious laughter, also female. The white creature let out a scoff of great incredulity before adding “Massive?!”

As the two continued towards Star Swirl, he could better make out their features. They were both clearly ponies… More than that, they were alicorns. Rather familiar alicorns.

“Princesses?!” Star Swirl exclaimed in astonishment. “Is it really you?”

Celestia let out a sigh as Luna did her best to contain her laughter. “Yes, Star Swirl,” Celestia said as she tried to hide the irritation from her voice. “It is us.”

Star Swirl shook his head. “I simply cannot believe how enormous you’ve gotten.”

Celestia let out a growl much like a cat would that was having its patience tested as Luna’s fit of hysteria returned.

“Er… That is to say, I cannot believe how tall you’ve gotten!” Star Swirl corrected.

Sighing to herself, Celestia answered, “Well, it has been over a thousand years.”

Star Swirl nodded. “So, what exactly was it that I did that pleased you?”

Celestia mumbled to herself. “Well, it sure as heck wasn’t coming back, that’s for certain…”

“Uh, excuse me?”

Celestia forced a smile. “You did something today that’s… well, that’s honestly second nature to almost all other ponies.”

Star Swirl raised an eyebrow. “And… and this is cause for...” He looked about him and motioned to the great expanse of stars and aurora-like mist. “…this?”

Luna stifled her laughter somewhat and nodded. “Yes… You have proven that you’re ready, Star Swirl.”

“Ready?” Star Swirl asked. “Ready for what?”

Celestia and Luna walked up and then past the wizard, motioning him to follow. As they did, halfs of dozens of scenes appeared: Star Swirl apologizing to Twilight and others, as well as that one time he talked nicely to Stygian, showed up.

Before Star Swirl could properly enquire as to the purpose of these scenes, Celestia began to sing,

“You've come,
“Such a long, long way,
“And I've watched you,
“Pull your head from your flank.
“It took some beatings,
“And a whole lot of screaming.
“As you showed the ways you made me scared of you...”

“It's time now, for a new change to come,
“You're still an asshole,
“But at least you're less of one.”

Star Swirl’s furrowed his brow at Celestia as the images disappeared. Apparently feeling something was lacking, Celestia’s horn glowed a bright yellow before the images simply repeated.

“I'm bored.” Celestia declared. “Luna, Take over.”

“Oh, erm…” Luna thought for a moment then broke into the same ballad tone and rhythm Celestia had struck.

“You've come such a long way round
“And by that I mean you have crawled
“Out of a hole up to the ground
“You could perhaps be called not quite evil
“If only because worse than you regularly visits Ponyville...”

“It’s time now, for a new change to come,
“You’re attitude still seems quite cursed,”
“but at least you’re not the worst.”

Star Swirl’s brow had furrowed in irritation to the point where his eyebrows new resembled a long, black caterpillar, which was also irritated. “You know, just because you two are now bigger than me doesn't mean you’re too large to be taken in my lap and swatted with a bell hat.”

Luna let out a mirthful scoff. “I’d tell you to not tempt my sister, as she has not ‘gotten lucky’ in quite some time; but I’m reasonably certain thine gate swings another way, Star Swirl.”

“Wha-’quite some time’?!” Celestia protested indignantly. “Luna! First off, that’s quite rude, and also presumptuous… and by that I mean wrong.”

Luna was nonplussed, and tilted her head in confusion. “I apologize. I just thought you’d introduce me to the lucky stallion…”

Celestia let out a quick laugh. “Stallion? Singular, Luna?!”

Star Swirl looked back and forth between the two sisters, clearly following little, if any of the exchange.

Luna’s forehead crinkled as she stared off into the infinite expanse. “Wait… are we no longer expected to keep our scandalous behaviour to ourselves?!”

“...I’m sorry… Have you not spoken to Rainbow Dash for nearly any amount of time?”

Luna shook her head. “No, I’m afraid not. Since when has this behaviour been acceptable?”

Celestia raised a forehoof into the air. “For like… two centuries, Luna! Where’ve you been?!”

Luna shot her sister a death glare.

Celestia’s cheeks suddenly turned bright crimson. “Oh...erm… right… I am sorry, sister.”

“Apology accepted… this time,” Luna said sternly.

Grinning sheepishly Celestia added, “Let’s simply agree that, at the very least, neither of our gates open for Star Swirl.”

Luna nodded. “On that we have an accord.”

His forehead practically folding in on itself at this point, words erupted from Star Swirl’s mouth like an angry volcano, “Just what in Equestria do hinged barriers have to do with spankings?!”

Celestia sighed heavily. “Oh no… I’ve already had this uncomfortable conversation once with Luna upon her return!”

“Sister,” Luna began in an unusually high-pitched tone, “may I ask what a gate has to do with ponies?”

Gently lowering the teacup from her mouth with her magic, Celestia smiled at her little sister. ‘Little’ being somewhat literal in this case. Though she had already grown back to the size of a full grown pony, Luna was still much shorter than Celestia recalled before her banishment. Also, her coat was still a pale-blue, perhaps only recently starting to darken to its previous midnight blue coloring. “Luna, ponies have had small gates on their properties for well over 1,000 years!” Celestia answered, a hint of laughter in her voice. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten.”

Luna nodded. “Of course I remember that, sister. However, I am curious why the direction that one’s gate swings is pertinent to conversations.”

The Celestia smile quickly vacated her lips as well as her voice. “... Sister, who was this in reference to?”

“Your dear student Braco Banana Popsicle said that his gate only swings in your direction, sister.”

Star Swirl’s lips pursed in frustration. “Very well, then perhaps you can explain how your luck factors into getting a swat from my bell hat.”

“Aaaand, we’re done!” Celestia announced. “Let’s send him back!”

Star Swirl raised a brow slightly. “Alright, but what was all this abou—”

And then in brilliant flash of light, Star Swirl the Bearded exploded for the second time that day.

“I’m jussh saying, Twilight!” Sunset said. “If either Shtary or I coulda done that to Shit Shwirl, we woulda done it hours ago… Like… after jush meeting him!”

“Okay! I believe you!” Twilight said in an exasperated tone. “Please, stop explaining it to me!”

Sunset frowned slightly. “H’okay… it’sh jush… you don’t shound like you believe me!”

Twilight groaned. “I believe it! I totally believe it.”

Sunset studied Twilight’s face for a second. “… Okay…”

“… Okay?” Twilight replied in a hopeful tone.

Sunset nodded. “Yessh, okay.”

Twilight let out a sigh of relief. “Okay…”

“Right, sho… Maybe I sshould take it from the top?”

“GrrrrrraaAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGG!”

Before Twilight could continue her frustrated scream for a moment longer or Sunset could repeat her reasoning, there was yet another blinding flash of light that elected a number of surprised responses from the ponies and dragon present.

“OW!” Sunset exclaimed. “Someone turn down the sthun!” Realization dawned on Sunset’s face. “Oh, wait… I can just…”

“DON’T YOU DARE!” Twilight exclaimed. “Also, it’s nighttime.”

“Oooooooh, good,” Starlight said dryly. “Star Swirl is back… and… pffft… hehehehe…”

“What?!” Star Swirl looked about him at the ponies staring at him. “Uh, yes… hello… I am back… it seems—”

Star Swirl was cut off as all the ponies, and solitary dragon, present broke into fits of hysterical laughter, many unable to remain on their hooves.

“Erm… hmmm…” Star Swirl regarded the tomfoolery before him with stern disapproval and quickly set about deducing its cause. It was quickly apparent that the laughter was directed in his general direction… Or perhaps he was simply standing in front of a charm that forced those present to erupt into uncontrollable laughter?! Taking a moment to cast his best mental defense spells, which were simply the best, Star Swirl turned.

And let out a massive sigh.

A set of wings were attached to Star Swirl’s back. However, these were not wings of feather, no. Instead he had wings that seemed to be made of a sort of heavy, rigid parchment of which somepony had taken the time to write “An Effort Wuz Made” across the right wing in a glittery ink of some sort. And behind Star Swirl himself were Celestia and Luna, both clearly unable to contain their joy at the scene in front of them.

“I trust you two scamps are responsible for this?” Star Swirl stated as much as he asked.

“PFfft… no… no…” Celestia said, completely unable to conceal a disingenuous smile. “You… you totally-hahaha-you’re totally a Princess now! Totally!”

Star Swirl’s eyes narrowed. “Oh? And what am I the Princess of?”

“Uh-hehehe-erm… Luna?”

Luna grinned widely. “All hail the Princess of Not-Being-a-Total-Shit-Stain!”

Flash Magnus and Rockhoof managed to choke out a couple “All hail!” before the broke back into the gaggle of laughter that had consumed the group.

Doing her best to contain herself, Sunset managed to trot forward. “HeheheHAHAHA… Is… Is THISh why you two didn’t…didn’t help ush with the Pony of-hehehe-Sshadowsh? ‘Caushe like… We might have died… but… totally worth it!”

Responding to her daughter with a somewhat nervous smile. “Erm… Well, it was related… Also, I had complete confidence that you, Twilight, and uh… miscellaneous associates would fix the situation.”

Sunset shot her mom a smug, knowing smile. “You sshpent most the day hiding under your bed, didn’t you?”

“Hah…HAAAAAaaaaaah…” Celestia exclaimed as she broke eye contact with Sunset. “Noooo… of course not… Uh… Luna, tell Sunset how we spent our day, please…”

Luna gave her a sister a lopsided smirk. “Well, we needed to craft new regalia for Equestria’s latest princess!” Celestia said as Luna’s horn flashed a midnight blue as a collection of four regal boots and a fetching neck piece appeared, or at least as regal and fetching as papier-mâché covered in a smattering of blues both light and dark, purples, and pinks could be.

“I am not wearing those!” Star Swirl declared. “It’s simply not dignified!”

“You lost your dignity to Sunset!” Mistmane reasoned. “Put on the damn regalia!”

Sighing as his shoulder shrunk, Star Swirl took his ‘royal outfit’ in a white glow and donned each piece, much to the delight of the ponies around him. “There!” Star Swirl exclaimed. “Is this something a pony of fair manners would endure for the sake of his friends?”

Sunset grinned widely at Star Swirl. “Well, of courshe not, ya big nerd!”

Star Swirl could only stare upwards in irritation as another round of laughter cascaded through the other’s present.

“We must coronate our new princess!” Flash Magnus declared.

“Please, no…” Star Swirl uttered in tone of equal parts annoyance and defeat.

“YESH!” Somnambula agreed. “Coordinate… Cornergate… uh….”

“Coronate,” Stygian informed simply.

“We need to corrugate Star Swirl!” she cried.

“… Close enough,” Stygian replied with a smirk as Mage Meadowbrook chuckled alongside him.

“PARTY AT TWILIGHT'S!” Sunset cried.

There were several jovial cries at this declaration, one sigh laid heavy with the past hour or so, and one exclamation of, “Wait! I didn’t agree to that!”

As the herd of ponies jovially wandered away from the crater created by their own magic and magic rainbow explosions, one orange pony lingered for a moment.

Sitting on her haunches, Applejack watched the group trot on for a moment and then looked at the hole she and her friends had flew, floated, and crawled out of. “What a day…” she said to herself, shaking her head.

“Verily,” a deep voice replied as Rockhoof elected to sit down next to Applejack.

Applejack looked up at the mountain of a pony sitting next to her, then her eyes drifted downward as she visually took in all the pony she was staring at. “… Wanna buck?” she asked nonchalantly.

Rockhoof replied with a hearty laugh and a second “Verily! I thought you’d never ask.”

Applejack stood up and stretched her back, then took a moment to give both her hind legs a good stretch. “Jus’ wanted the world to maybe not be in peril before askin’…”

“Aye,” Rockhoof said as he too got to his hooves and the pair began walking back to the group. “Though I must warn ye… The shovel and I come as a pair…”

Applejack shot Rockhoof a sideways glance. “Well, obviously… But to be clear, that goes the same for my hat.”

“Okay, okay! FINE!” Sunset said irritably, as the Sun wobbled lower and lower behind her. “We can take a hint Twilight! If you don’t want ush here, we you could have said sho!” Sunset shook her head. “No need for this elaborate rosh…. Rooms… r-word, to get us outshide!”

“You wanted to go outside,” Twilight said an annoyed tone as she stared at Sunset with bloodshot eyes heavy with the weight of not getting rest for quite some time. “You said you wanted to see yourself!”

“You don’t KNOW me!” Sunset replied. “Alsho… That doesn’t make any shense!”

Standing next to Sunset, Spike chuckled. “That’s because it took us five minutes of bringing you to mirrors before we finally figured out you meant the ‘Sunset outside!’”

“Oooooohhhh… That make shenshe!” Sunset declared as she made an exaggerated motion to the setting sun then fell to the ground, seemingly causing the sun to wobble more. “Ehhh….heeee… I am drunk…”

Celestia looked down at her quite inebriated adopted daughter in amusement. “Perhaps it’s time I take Sunset back to Canterlot and let her sleep off the last day of revels in her own bed.”

Sunset clambered to her feat. “You don’t KNOW me!” she shouted. “I can make it back to my apartment jusssh fine!

“Erm, darling?” Rarity interjected. “I’m not Celestia…”

Sunset frowned heavily and searched her surroundings for another white blur. Picking out the largest one she sheepishly admitted. “Alright… I can shtay a little longer… ashlong as somepony letsh my friendsh back home know I’m okay…”

“Done and done!” Pinkie Pie said happily. “And I mean done!”

“Splendid,” Celestia said with a big grin on her face.

“Can I please take off this ridiculous outfit?!” Star Swirl asked, his cape, hat, and paper-based attire now much soggier. “It’s soaked in alcohol!” He shuttered slightly. “And probably other fluids.”

Starlight grinned widely at the old wizard. “Well, no one forced you to put on that hat and cape.”

Star Swirl let out a heavy sigh and began removing his soggy wings and regalia as everyone around him once again broke into laughter. He gave Sunset a serious look. “On a more pressing note, I’d like to formally request a reprieve of the Pillars for myself and my compatriots.”

“Shay the new name!” Sunset demanded.

“Madam, I will not-“

“Shaaaaaay it!~” demanded as well as any pony could in a slurred, sing-song tone.

Star Swirl groaned. “The other members of Sunset Shimmer’s Kick-ass Team of Ass Kickers—”

Fluttershy frowned. “Still maybe a little offensive to donkeys…”

“—would like time to visit our homelands.”

A series of nods came forth from Sunset’s new subordinates.

“Yeah, fine,” Sunset said. “You’re all totesh allowed a reprieve, ash much fun ash I’m shure Prinshipal Celestia would love enrolling sheven fully grown adultsh in school.”

The members of Sunset Shimmer’s Kick-ass Team of Ass Kickers let out a series of chuckles.

Sunset gave them all a confused glance. “What’sh so funny?” she asked, punctuating the statement with a small belch that caused the sun to rattle in the sky.

Luna spoke up, “Sister, I agree we should get Sunset lying down as soon as possible. Her affinity for controlling the sun in this state is somewhat worrisome.”

“Oh Luna, she’s doing a fine job!” Celestia insisted.

Luna raised an eyebrow. “Is your only metric for ‘fine job’ simply that she has yet to cause irreversible ecological damage to the planet?”

“HEY! Lay off, Auntie!” Sunset snapped. “Mom ish like… the shun whishperer, or shomething…” Sunset frowned. “That shounded far lessh shtupid in my head jush now…”

“Dude,” Rainbow Dash interjected. “I’m nowhere near the right shade of blue to be Princess Luna and like, half her size!”

“Ya see, Sunset?” Applejack said. “Even Rainbow Dash thinks you’re too drunk!”

“What? Don’t put words into my mouth, AJ!” Rainbow Dash snapped back. “I’m wondering how much I need to drink to be that drunk… Looks fun,” Rainbow Dash added wistfully.

Applejack groaned. “Everypony, I’d like to formally announce Ah’m takin’ a week-long vow of silence jus’ because Ah’m THAT done talkin’ to y’all.”

Sunset snickered. “Oh man, if I had a nickel… Alright, somepony make sure I’m facing most everypony else…”

With a canary yellow glow of her horn, Celestia gently lifted Sunset and repositioned her.

“Goodbye, Shtarry. Goodbye, Shpike. Goodbye, Assh kickersh. Goodbye, Twilight. Goodbye, pony-vershions of my and Twilight’sh friendsh.”

Pinkie thought for a moment. “They/we are kinda more like the human versions of your pony friends, but bye-byeeeEE!”

The other ponies and dragon present likewise said their farewells.

“Oh, and Go fuck yershelf, Shtar Shwirl…”

Star Swirl groans. “Somepony remind me to leave explicit instructions to leave me stuck in limbo the next time I have to seal something away…”

Mage Meadowbrook leaned forward. “Okay, but what if ya need to seal away Sunset and yerself?”

Star Swirl’s brow furrowed immediately. “Life is endlessly vexing…” he mused.

“Okay!” Sunset exclaimed. “Now shomepony point me in whatever direction I’m shoppoused to be going—”

“Sunset, wait a second.”

“Uh, shure—” Sunset squinted at the pony? In front of her “—Twilight.”

Twilight sparkle smiled at Sunset. “I just wanted to give a proper goodbye.”

Grinning, Sunset leaned in and hugged Twilight, a hug that was returned as Sunset whispered a soft. “Nailed it!”

“What was that?” Twilight asked.

“Oh… nothing…” Sunset said innocently. “Oh, Shtarry… Shpike… Get in here!” Sunset said as she opened her wings. Starlight and Spike dashed up and joined in the hug briefly before the four parted.

Still smiling at Sunset, Twilight spoke, “Thanks for helping me, erm… in your rather particular Sunset Shimmer way!”

“Anytime, Twilight! Anytime!”

Twilight nodded. “Yes, that does seem to be about how these things go down,” she murmured.

“Uh… what?” Sunset said.

“Oh… nothing…” Twilight replied innocently.

“Farewell, my little ponies!” Celestia said. She winked. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

Luna smirked. “That’s a rather short list, sister.”

Celestia continued, “But DO do several things Luna wouldn’t do.”

“Hey!” Luna protested.

Celestia continued, “There’s a little gray area in there… that’s where you should all be.”

Luna just sighed, smiled, and shook her head. “Fare thee well, ponies.” With that, the two royal sisters gently guided Sunset with their wings until they were trotting in the direction of Canterlot castle.

“I think it is best we take our leave as well,” Star Swirl said. “Thank you ponies. I owe all of you a great deal of gratitude,” he added as many of the ponies, particularly Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie listened with keen interest. Star Swirl turned and picked out one of the ponies in particular. “Especially you, Sunburst.”

There was a series of groans from a few of the ponies. All except Fluttershy who smiled to herself as she collected a hoofful of bits from her friends.

“Oh, why thank you!” Sunburst said happily. “It was an honor to work with you.”

Star Swirl returned Sunburst’s smile. “Indeed. I’m certain that it was.” He turned to his compatriots. “Come, Pil—”

“Not our name anymore!” Somnambula reminded.

Star Swirl groaned. “Come, Sunset Shimmer’s Kick-ass Team of Ass Kickers. Let’s go visit our homes.”

With a few more parting words and gestures, some more affectionate than others, from the ponies present, the ancient heroes of Equestria left to once again wander the land.

Rainbow Dash sighed. “Well, they may be gone, but who says the party can’t go on?”

“Me,” Twilight answered irritably as she dropped the eyelids of her weary eyes.

“Erm… At my place…” Rainbow Dash added hastily.

Applejack opened her mouth as if to speak, then seemingly remembered something, instead electing to shake her head.

“Sounds fun to me!” Pinkie Pie said.

“Uh, Pinkie?” Spike said. “Only pegasi can really hang out at Rainbow’s.”

Applejack pointed in the direction of Spike and nodded.

“Not if you have just the riiiiight number of balloons!” Pinkie replied jovially.

Fluttershy chuckled. “Erm, count me in. I can use a celebration that’s a bit quieter…”

“Quieter! HA!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. “We’re going to go even harder on the drinks in terms of both amounts and how hard they are.”

Fluttershy nodded. “Yes, I thought as much. I also wanted to make sure when you’ve had too much to drink you end up in your bed, and not passed out with your body stuck in a cloud wall.”

“Dude it was ONE… erm… two… three… IT WAS ONLY A FEW TIMES!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

Pinkie began bounding in the direction of Rainbow Dash’s house. “Last one there is a pickled pony!”

“Hah!” Rainbow Dash called out as she and Fluttershy caught up to Pinkie. “Not yet, I bet!”

Rolling her eyes, Applejack turned and began walking towards Sweet Apple Acres.

Spike sighed as the trio of ponies wandered off towards Rainbow Dash’s. “Guess I’ll just call it a night…”

Rarity let out a yawn. “I think I too, will retire for the evening.” She turned and looked at Spike. “Or perhaps I’ll have my own ‘private’ party.”

Spike let out a gasp of delight and then turned to Twilight with a pleading look on his face.

Twilight just sighed. “Spike, I’ve had QUITE the two days and really don’t have the mental energy to unpack the ramifications of letting this continue or even the fact that I let it go on before… but I doubt I can put that genie back in the bottle—”

Spike grinned wryly and held up two claws. “TWO genies”.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “—THAT hemi-genie back in the bottle. Anyhow, you seem to mentally be something of a consenting adult by pony standards, or close enough for horseshoes anyway,”

—Starlight let out a laugh. “I can’t believe you just said that.”—

“So, go… Have fun. Just don’t accidently burn down Rarity’s place.”

Spike saluted. “Caaaaaaan doooo!” he exclaimed with all the excitement he could muster before her scampered off towards Rarity and the pair made their way to her boutique.

Grinning to himself, Sunburst waved after the parting ponies emphatically. “Well, that was quite the adventure.” His grin widened even further. “Can you believe that Star Swirl thanked me personally?”

“Ugh, shut up, Sunburst,” Starlight said with an eyeroll.

Sunburst’s eyes opened wide in surprise as he turned to his childhood friend. “Wha-wha? What’d I do?”

Starlight shook her head and began to trot back towards Twilight’s castle. “Nothing. You did absolutely nothing.”

“I, er, uh, but…”

Sunburst was interrupted from his confusion by Twilight. “Uh, Sunburst?”

“Er, yes? Princess Twilight?”

Twilight leaned in for a hug, not the vice like grips of before, or the empty embrace of having her ego shattered, but a hug full of warmth and affection. “Thanks for being there for me.”

“Uh, of course…” Sunburst said as he returned the hug. “It was nothing… apparently…”

Twilight broke the hug and gave Sunburst a quick kiss on the cheek. “It was enough,” she said sweetly. “See you soon!” she added as she cantered up to join Starlight.

Sunburst’s glasses nearly fell right off his face. “Uh, erm. Yes, Princess!” he shouted after Twilight as he quickly adjusted his glasses. “See you, uh, soon!”

“What was THAT about?” Starlight asked grumpily as Twilight caught up with her.

“Just saying goodbye,” Twilight said with a smirk.

Starlight sighed heavily. “You know you two only checked out the antique stores of Ponyville… Who knows long many days or WEEKS it’d take you to go through Canterlot or the Crystal Empire.”

Twilight stopped dead in her tracks for a moment as her chest began to heave up and down with heavy breathing and foam appeared at her mouth.

“Oh, horse apples…” Starlight quickly pivoted and looked her friend in the eyes. “Twilight?! Are you alright?!”

“F-fine!” Twilight stuttered out as she regained a modicum of control over her respiratory system. “J-just… had a moment of pure mental bliss!”

Starlight couldn’t help but laugh to herself. “Right, right…”

The two continued walking towards Twilight’s castle, both of them with contemplative looks on their face as marched on.

“It’s funny,” Twilight said, breaking the silence between the two. “I thought meeting my idol would give me all the answers I ever wanted… but it turns out he was a bit of a prick.”

Starlight laughed. “‘A bit?!’”

Twilight grinned wryly. “Alright, he was ‘a lot’ of a prick, happy?”

“More so, sure…” Starlight gave Twilight a hopeful look. “Are you sure that’s everything you learned?”

Twilight thought for a moment. “Erm… Also, I guess the real answer was inside me the whole time?”

Starlight puffed out her lips slightly in a small pout. “And… that’s it?”

Twilight thought for a moment then nodded. “Yes. Most definitely, yes…”

“Oh…” Starlight said in a dejected tone.

The two mares continued to walk in silence for a bit.

“Oh, and Starlight?”

“Yes, Twilight?”

Twilight paused long enough to give Starlight a side hug with a foreleg and wing. “Thanks for helping remind me of that… and for not using magic to make your problems go away today…”

Starlight let out a short, mirthful laugh and returned the hug. “You’re welcome… One day at a time, right?”

Twilight just smiled back and nodded. “One day at a time.”

Again, the two mares continued on their way as the sun lowered in the sky, then rose up slightly, then went back down, then drifted to the right slightly, then shook slightly to the sound of a mare sneezing.

“Tia!” Luna called out in a chastising tone. “Again, perhaps now is not the best time to give you're drunk daughter the ‘reins to the chariot’, as it were.

“Oh, Luna, don’t be silly! She’s doing fine!”

“She’s BAKING the Bug Bear Wastes!”

“So? That’s a desert!” Celestia countered. “No big loss!”

“Yes, Tia. It’s TECHNICALLY a desert. It’s ALSO a tundra!”

“Oh, don’t be shucha bag-of-dicksh, Auntie! I got thish~”

Celestia gasped. “Sunset! I know your drunk but that’s no—”

Luna interrupted, “Oh, so that is how it is going to be, you little cunt rag?”

Celestia gasped louder this time. “Luna!”

Sunset erupted in mirth and merriment. “That’s right, you douchemonger! Bring it!”

“Intoxicated courtesan!”

“Anal Crust!”

“Uh… Sunset!” Celestia exclaimed in tone making it clear she wasn’t sure who, if anypony, to hold back at this point.

“Meat Wallet!”

“SISTER!” Celestia said in a tone equally chastising and jovial.

“Shit, good one… uh… vaginal discharge!”

“Cock-juggling thundercunt.”

“Oh mom, damnit!” Sunset exclaimed as Celestia exploded into uproarious laughter. “Where are you getting all these?! So jelly…armpit pube”

One could hear the smirk in Luna’s voice, “Perhaps I can give you some pointers, ballsack pupe”.

“DAMNIT! Uh… uh… I love you, auntie cuntmuscle.”

“And I you, niece cockpuppet!”

Sunset just sighed as the sun finally fell below the horizon. “I shurrender...”

The End.

Author's Note

Thanks again to my editors:

Tired Old Man,
Nova Quill/Firimil, and
Steel Resolve

Kodus to everyone who guessed "princess" but double kodus to Steel Resolve for even guessing the wings would be cardboard. Thanks again to him and Nova for basically writing Luna and Celestia's "you could be worst" ballad, and another nod to Nova for helping a great deal with the post-song bits of the other dimension scene, especially the flashback.