Chapter 17: My Condolences On Your Wedding

(Thoughts/Telepathy)
"Attack Names"

Sign this, sign that. Rinse, repeat, stop for a second to stretch my cramping hand and then continue once more. It's been the same drab thing for the past four weeks and this should be the final few sheets. Once it's done, I'll be the 9th guild master of the Fairy Tail guild that just finished construction. It won't be the same as Makarov's memories make it out to be but I'll be trying my damnedest to make it close.

I yawn as I feel my eyes start to close, I quickly reach over to my cup of coffee and I take a long pull as I chug the last of it down. I look at the clock on the far wall, 12:34 am. I lean back in my chair and I look over at the candle that's been giving me a low light for the past few hours. Its flame has been guiding my hand like a river guiding a boat.

I turn my gaze to the person sleeping on my bed, she only got here earlier today but she's done far more than I. Cussing out her brother with words only I've used, noticing that "Cadence" is a fraud like I have, helping with the planning and the food. She's worked herself ragged even though she doesn't think Cadence is the real deal. "That's my girl," I whisper with a smile. I can't wait for this whole thing to be over so the two of us can finally have some alone time. I could probably help her on her journey but I know she has to be captured in order to save the Cadence in the old Crystal mines. I know for a fact that I'll be right there by her side when the fighting breaks out to make sure she doesn't get hurt.

I slowly stand up from my chair and I walk over to the bookshelf by the table and I start rifling through the books trying to find a certain one. "Madame Heart's Marriage Mystery's," I whisper aloud as I pull it off of the shelf. I start flipping through the pages until I come to page 100 where the book is now a hollow shell holding a very special item I had made as soon as I entered Canterlot. A small royal purple velvet box that may hold my entire future in it rests in the hollowed out shell. I take the box out of the book and I place the book back on the shelf.

I open the box and look at the small golden band with a prismatic diamond on it and I grin. This small band cost me quite a pretty penny but I know that it was worth it. I would give my entire fortune away just to stay with her. I'd even have every one of my powers taken from me if it meant that she would be safe. I close the box and I walk back over to the table, taking my place on the chair once more. I set the box to the side, hiding it as I take the quill within my hand once more, continuing my work on this hellish thing called paperwork.

I see why Celestia is an uptight shrew seeing as how she has had to do this every day for the past thousand years by herself.

I sigh as I rub my eyes and I start reading through the fine print of each sheet, signing off on the ones that pertain to the guild while putting the ones that have nothing to do with it aside for the moment.

Arthur Mayhew, next sheet. Arthur Mayhew. This goes on for a few more hours until I finally move a sheet and find the bare table beneath it. I then turn my attention to the piles of paper that I'll do tomorrow... Wait, it is tomorrow. I sigh once more as I start signing off on the other papers while reading through them once more. I soon fall asleep while writing off on some paper for my citizenship in Equestria.

As I walk down the hall reading the final page of my paperwork, I hear someone call out, "Arthur!"

I turn around and see Prince Blueblood walking toward me. Before I met him, I thought he was nothing more than an overconfident royal with his head up his ass but over the month that I've known him, he's actually quite a chill dude. He's actually quite an intelligent person, I actually think he may be on par with Twilight, to be honest. I asked him about the whole Rarity thing and he straight up said that he does that with every gold-digging woman he meets to either piss them off or push them away. It almost makes me regret pranking him as much as I do. Almost.

"Sup, Blue-balls," I say as he reaches me.

He lifts his hand to silence me. He takes the paper from my hands as he says, "Follow me. I think I found out who made the threat upon Canterlot," as he starts walking away. I stand there for a moment, watching him before I shrug, quickly following him. "As you know, I help oversee the Equestrian Military with the soon to be Prince but during my investigation into the threat, I found something interesting. Princess Cadence has been using a spell on Captain Shining Armor saying that it was to help with his "Headaches" but I found no such spell that would cause the after effects that hers causes."

We turn down a nearby hallway and up some stairs. "Her spell causes his eyes to flash a bright green while stunning him and numbing his senses. I searched through all of the spell records, compendiums, and other manuals in search of any spell that would cause those effects but I found no such thing... Well, not exactly "No such thing", I found one spell. The spell was a dark magic spell made by a race called "Changelings." A few thousand years ago, Princess Celestia and Luna encountered those beings after they tried to invade the pre-Nightmare Moon Canterlot that was found in the Everfree."

He turns to me as we reach one of the tower rooms. More specifically, Cadence's room. "Your lover, Twilight Sparkle, was correct in her assumption to not trust Princess Cadenza. I found a spell that would cancel out any Changeling's camouflage spell. I was hoping that you would stand by me in case our assumption was correct." He says as he snaps.

"I had thought as much. It would explain her attitude," I say with a grin. Looks like Prince Blueblood really is as smart as Twilight. I guess he'd have to be in order to live up to his name as Prince.

"I've already received permission to test this from Aunt Luna. I just hope that our assumptions are incorrect, otherwise, the implications are..." He falls quiet before he shakes his head. "Are all of you ready?" I nod and he does the same as he opens Cadence's door.

We enter the room to find "Cadence" doing her makeup. "What?! Can't you see I'm busy?!" Cadence shouts as she slams her hand on her table.

Blueblood says nothing as he quickly pulls his wand out. It lights up in a bright cyan and a second later, a bright green flame overtakes Cadence. The flames travel up from her feet all the way to her head as she screams. Her voice shifts to a dual-toned voice that starts to laugh.

The flames turn to embers as Chrysalis stands there, clapping. "It seems my ruse was finally detected!" She says in a mirthful tone, her dual voices seeming to chuckle despite her stable tone. "It only took you a few weeks!" She taunts.

Her dark green hair flows to her shoulder, framing her dusky bronze face. Her bright green eyes are cat-like with their slitted pupils but they are bright and filled with life, seeming to glow with power. A black horn pierces from her forehead, seemingly broken and misshapen as it curves upward. Her black dress is segmented, leaving the sleeves unattached to the shoulderless dress.

She smiles brightly as she crosses her arms. "Hey, Cadence! They finally figured it out!" I hear her shout toward the bathroom.

I faintly hear someone reply, "Really? Was it Twilight and Arthur?!" Blueblood and I stand there in confusion as we faintly hear splashing. A few moments later, Princess Cadence walks out wearing nothing but a towel with Shining Armor standing behind her, looking over her shoulder. She turns to us with a smile. "Hey, Arthur."

"What is going on here?!" Blueblood demands.

"Well, my friend Chrysalis and her colony are a little starved at the moment so Shining and I are letting them feed off of our emotions for a little while to let them replenish their food supplies," Cadence says as she walks back into the bathroom.

Shining Armor walks into the room with a towel around his waist as he sits down on the bed. "Arthur, how's Twilight?" He asks as he rubs the back of his neck. "She's kind of avoiding me at the moment."

I just stand there in confusion before I just shake my head. Apparently, Cadence and Shining Armor are friends with the Queen of the Changelings. Not only that, Cadence isn't in trouble. Fuck it, they'll explain it in a moment anyway. "She's running herself ragged trying to get everyone to believe her that Cadence is that woman over there," I say as I point at Chrysalis.

"I have a name you know," She says as she sits back down in the chair. "I've heard of you, Arthur. Some of my Changelings in Tauros saw you fight that army a while back." She leans against the desk in front of her, finishing her makeup. "I also heard from Shining Armor that you've been training him for a while before you made a new form of magic."

I turn back to Shining. "So, what the fuck is going on?" I ask.

"Well... Cadence grew up in a town near the Changeling Hive and apparently, she knew Chrysalis growing up. Once she became an Alicorn, she pretty much has been helping them survive. I was freaked out at first but once she told me what was going on, I pretty much had to agree with her plan. Do you know what Changelings are?" He asks.

"I know about them, yeah. They eat love, right?" I ask

"Kind of, they eat emotions. Seeing as how Cadence is the Princess of Love, she pretty much said it was her job to help. Apparently, Chrysalis's colony has been going through some hard times so she's letting her harvest some of the emotions that show up during our wedding. She's also been letting her feed off of our love for each other. Sometimes, she feeds off of me and sometimes she feeds from Cadence," He says. Cadence then walks out of the bathroom in some clothing while brushing her hair. He looks over at Cadence and gestures to her. "She told Princess Celestia about it and the Princess said that if the Changelings came to Canterlot then they'd try to destroy the town so Princess Celestia said it was a threat upon Canterlot."

Wait, so this whole situation only happened because Celestia was being racist? Or was it well-founded? Are they under her Mind-Control or are they honestly trying to help her? I'd cast some Dispel Magic on them just in case but I don't want to dispel the barrier over Canterlot in case I'm right... "How do I know you aren't under her control?" I ask. "As far as I know, you could be lying." I cross my arms. "Tell me why I should believe you."

Blueblood nods as he says, "He's right. Why should we trust you?"

Cadence stares at us for a moment before she suddenly screeches. A bright green flame overtakes her body before she turns into a human-like black carapace covered human with a horn and bug wings. She charges toward Blueblood but he quickly draws his wand, blasting her in the chest with a spell that tears through her chest. Before he can turn to Chrysalis, her horn lights up and a bright green glow overtakes him.

He suddenly disappears before I can intervene and she quickly turns to me. My body glows a bright green before I cast a Dispel on my body, destroying the spell. I use "Soru" to appear next to her. Almost instantaneously, she fires a blast into my torso, tossing me across the room and slamming me through an armoire.

I quickly close my fist, covering my hand in ice. "Tobu Shigan: Aokiji!" I shout as I fire a frozen pellet of ice at her. It slams into her leg, freezing it solid and stopping her in her tracks as she tries to charge me.

She falls to the ground while reaching out toward Shining Armor. Her hand lights up in a green glow before the same glow appears on his forehead. Immediately, he screams in pain before he roars angrily. He quickly stands up and charges me. I push myself to my feet and rear my fist back before I drive it into his head, slamming him into the ground within a second.

Chrysalis shouts out in anger as tries to push herself to her feet. I just walk up to her and lift my foot into the air, driving it into the back of her head and stomp her head into the ground, knocking her out. I stand there for a moment, looking around the room at the two unconscious people before I sigh. I really need to stop this war before it starts.

I cover Chrysalis in a cocoon of ice and freeze her to the wall. I then freeze Shining Armor to the floor and I open a nearby window, climbing out of it.

Activating my Observation Haki, I try to find the entrance to the Crystal Caverns. It takes a few minutes but I eventually find the entrance. I disappear using "Kamisori" a second later as I make my way to the opening.

Finding Cadence with my Haki is the easy part. Opening the Crystal walls without harming her or the cave is the hard part. I guess I could just kick some holes in the wall and then pull away the remaining bits to save her. Or I could just cut through it with Rankyaku.

I rub the back of my head lightly as I try to find a way to safely get her out of there. I then shrug and walk up to the 10' thick wall before I make a sword out of ice. I cover the blade in Armament Haki before I slice through the wall multiple times. It only takes a swift kick to knock the wall down, leaving a human-sized doorway in the wall as I walk through.

"W-What?! W-Who's there?! Don't hurt me, please!" I hear Cadence shout. I look over at her and see that she has her eyes closed as she cowers.

Jesus, she's been through a lot... Her dress is in tatters and visible bruises and wounds can be seen. Multiple of the cuts seem to be infected and the bruises seem to have turned into welts and blisters. Her hair is dirty and covered in her own blood while her face is red and stained with tears.

"Cadence," I lightly say with a soft tone. As I walk over to her, I casually dodge a blast from Blueblood as he tries to ambush me.

She slowly opens her eyes as she stops cowering. "A-Arthur? Is that really you?" She asks as she looks at me. I nod and she gives me a look of apprehension before she turns to the hole in the wall. "I-I guess it would have to be you in order to cut through that wall, huh?" She shakily asks, trying to keep her emotions from flooding over. "Is it over?" She croaks.

"Well, there's still an army to worry about and I didn't kill Chrysalis yet but I'm planning to. Come on, let's get you out of here." I pick her up and walk over to a stunned Blueblood. "Let's get going, we need to warn the Princesses," I say as I walk through the hole in the wall.

He quickly follows me, asking, "How did you find us so quickly? It can't have been more than a few minutes since I disappeared!" He then shakes his head. "Nevermind. First things first, we need to get Cadence to a hospital before she dies of exhaustion. If you can carry her to the castle, I can teleport back to the castle to warn the Princesses."

I freeze in my tracks before I angrily turn to him. "Why the fuck didn't you do that earlier?" I ask.

He seems to freeze with me as he slaps his own head, crossing his arms afterward. "It... It never crossed my mind," He sighs. "I'll see you soon." He whips his wand as it glows and he disappears in a bright flash.

I stare at the spot he was in for a second before I angrily sigh. I swear, everyone who is that smart is fucking stupid in their own right. Twilight forgets she can teleport, Luna forgets she can teleport, and even Prince Blueballs forgets! I swear, if I ever find out how to teleport, I'll never walk again just to spite them.

I start walking to the cave entrance as I carefully watch Cadence. Every move I make seems to pain her, she must have some broken bones. I'll have to be very careful when getting her out of here.

"Arthur?" She quietly says as she looks up at me.

"Save your strength, okay?" I say as we reach the entrance.

"You do know I can walk, right?" She says as she slowly tries to pull herself from my grasp.

I quickly readjust my grip to force her to stop. "Like I said, save your strength. You'll need it. Besides, you'll need it to kick Chrysalis's ass," I say with a grin as I hop out of the hole. I use "Geppo" carefully as I make my way back to the city slowly.

She chuckles as she watches us fly. "If you weren't already with Twilight, I'd have tried to pick you up," She laughs before she starts coughing. "Strong, Brave, Smart, and not only that, handsome..." She falls quiet for a moment before she looks up at me. "You better treat her right or I'll cut your balls off," She plainly says as she glares at me.

I start laughing loudly as we crest the cliffs ridge into the castle garden. I land on the ground before I walk into the castle. The guards seem to be mobilizing as a platoon charges past us into the castle foyer. I follow them into the room and see Princess Celestia, Luna, Blueblood, and the Elements with Chrysalis and Shining next to them. Chrysalis seems to be restrained while Shining Armor has a bandage and a pair of handcuffs on his wrists.

I walk through the crowd to the Princesses just as they're about to say something, my appearance cutting them off. "Arthur!" Celestia says as she runs down to us. She immediately takes Cadence from me as she starts checking her wounds. "Blueblood told us about what happened. We arrested the two of them and suppressed their magic," Celestia says as her hands glow a bright yellow. The same glow then covers Cadence as some of her wound started to close up and disappear.

"Shining had nothing to do with it, he's under her spell," I say as I walk up to him. "He's as much of a victim as Cadence. We'll need him in order to fight off the coming invasion. Where are the soldiers I trained? And Spike too?" I ask as I turn to Luna.

"Spike is in your room looking for your weaponry whilst your soldiers are already on the outskirts of the town preparing to meet the army that approaches," Luna says as she dons her own armor and weapons. "It is about time something interesting happened to us," She says with a grin. "A shame that it happened on such a joyous day. Art thou ready for the coming battle?"

I open my mouth to say something before I'm cut off by Spike appearing in front of me with my swords. "Got your swords for you," He says as he hands them to me. "We need to get going. I could see the Changelings coming from your window"

I nod as I strap them to my waist. "As ready as ever. Twilight, you and the elements stay here with Cadence and the princesses while my soldiers and I fight off the army. If we die then it's your job to keep Equestria safe from them," I say as I walk up to her.

"What?! You expect us to stay here while you go and fight another war?!" Twilight shouts as she storms up to meet me. "Hell no! I'm going with you with or without your permission, I've been training for this!" She says as she turns to Spike. "For the past month, Spike has been teaching me how to fight." She turns back to me and gives me a glare before it turns soft. "Ever since you ended up in the hospital, I've been telling myself over and over again that you'd come back but time and time again, you either end up in the hospital again or in another situation that pulls you away from me. Well, no more! I'm helping you whether or not you like it!"

I stare at her for a moment longer before I smile. I lean down and kiss her on the lips for a second before I turn around. "Let's get going then, the army won't stop and wait for us," I say as I start walking to the castle doors.

Before I reach them, the doors slam open and a familiar face charges in. "Sir, the army has been apprehended," One of the soldiers from my squad says as he salutes.

I freeze in my tracks before I lightly shake my head. "Wait, what?" I ask.

"It is as I said, sir. The army has been defeated," he says as he gestures to the doorway. I walk past him and into the streets to find a few hundred scattered changeling bodies while my soldiers clean up the last few stragglers.

I stand there in shock, watching the 18 remaining soldiers from my squad as they expertly destroy the last of the resistance. As they beat them, the ones who finished fighting sheathe their weapons and walk back to the castle gates before they take a defensive position.

The Princesses, Blueblood, and the Elements follow me out while some of the soldiers come out of formation to see the fight. They all watch in shock as the last few soldiers are easily defeated before they all take formation in front of "Sir!" They all shout as they salute.

I just look at my soldiers in shock before I break out in a smile. "I trained you guys way to fucking well," I say as my smile widens. I then think of something. "Hey, Blueblood, use that spell on my "soldiers"," I say as I pull a sword out of its sheath. He looks at me before he nods. One by one, he casts the spell on all of the soldiers and they all pass the test.

After that, all of us just stand there looking at them with differing gazes. The Princesses are surprised and shocked, I'm slightly disappointed and proud at the same time. On one hand, my soldiers just decimated an army with several hundred soldiers and on another, I didn't get to fight.

"At ease," I say. They lower their stances and stand at attention. "First thing I have to say is, "Holy Shit, that's insane." And the next thing I have to say is that I'm going to be buying you guys a lot of booze tonight," I say with a smile. I turn to the Princesses and ask, "How 'bout that?"

Princess Luna looks disappointed that she didn't get to fight but Princess Celestia just pinches the bridge of her nose while sighing. "I should have known something like this would have happened," Celestia says with a groan as she shakes her head. She looks up at me and says, "I'm going to need a lot of alcohol in order to understand what just happened. Is the invitation open?"

I just start laughing loudly while some of my soldiers join in. At least my madness has spread into a collective. Otherwise, I'd have gone insane a while ago.

Author's Note

To be honest, I had no idea what to do about the whole wedding thing. I was going from idea to idea until I finally just said fuck it and chose this. Sorry if it's disappointing, I just want to move on from the Canterlot Wedding. I probably won't be able to start on another chapter for a while thanks to work and other obligations so another round of Sorry's once more.