It's the mortals' rejoice
Books, journal, scrolls. Most of them scattered around shelves and desktops. Meanwhile, notes of all kind and size were used as a soft carpet that covered the immensity of a realm which only served to fulfill the necessity of its ruler: gather all the information discovered across the different universes.
Besides the humongous amount of papers, there were living beings resting in the place too, an assortment of books following their every movement as they consumed themselves in their studies. They all looked the same: big creatures whose entire body consisted of a fur-like material of light brown color, Short arms that were hard to notice because of the abundance of fur. The last remarkable thing on their body were two black spots in the top, the only thing reminiscent of eyes. Their appearance could make it seem like they were from the same species, but only the ruler of the realm could now for sure what were the true nature of those beings.
“Another soul comes to my realm,” Announced a deep ethereal voice, the sound echoing through the whole realm as the inhabitants of the realm snapped out of their dazzled state, just to turn their gazes back to their books a second later.
After the voice announcement, two beings who were previously tantalized inside their books while moving through a straight hall turned their vision towards an odd formation of smoke and fire in front of them. From within the dark cloud, the green color of the fire started to turn pink as the abstract figure of a creature was being presented to them.
After a couple of seconds, the smoke dissipated, revealing a feminine equine with puffy mane and tail, her whole coat and mane color consisted on two shades of pink, her blue eyes shimmering with amazement just like her expression was.
“Best. Trip. Ever!” The mare exclaimed, apparently unaware of the two beings in front of her. “I need to tell Spike to use that spell on me more often; Piro-portation is way more fun and doesn’t’ leaves you with tummy aches!”
The two creatures looked at the weird new guest for a solid second before going back to their books.
The pink mare snapped out of her awestruck expression and looked at her surroundings, her brows narrowing at the books on the shelf beside her.
“Books at my right…” she turned to her left, “and books at my left…” she gazed forward, the two creatures from before turned backward and were making their way to the end of the hall. While looking at them, she noticed the odd carpet used to cover the ground, “the floor is covered with books too… I was starting to picture a happy Twilight here, but she would collapse after watching this madness…”
The mare stood in thought for a second, her eyes stuck on the ceiling of the place as the vision of a green aurora covered her whole vision,
“Wow~”
Stars fell through the sky a second later while tracing white stripes on their way down.
“Huh! Uh~! How Pretty!” She slightly winced afterward, the look of a colossal tentacle surrounding and then crushing the beautiful stars. “And scary…”
“An equine?” A voice called her from the back, making the earth pony squeak in fear. She turned back, a dark hole now in front of her. She furrowed her brows at the weird event as she noticed how the wind and papers were absorbed by the void.
“Ahm… is anyone there?”
“You don’t know me?” The voice replied, making her ears flick as she realized that the void in front of her was the one speaking.
“I never like to answer that kind of question to a total stranger,” she replied, “In this kind of cases I prefer to introduce me. The name is Pinkie Pie, a pleasure ahm Mr … ?”
A giant eye popped out of the void, its pupil was shaped like the infinity symbol and its glowing yellow iris seemed to move in the same way a black hole would. Pinkie jolted in fear at the sudden appearance and couldn’t help but step back.
“You petty mortal. How dare you to be oblivious to my name?” The entity replied in a severe tone. “I command you to tell me your home planet’s name!”
Pinkie shivered for a moment, her mouth quivering as she replied: “E-equus….”
…
The eye widened, its size doubling as it gives the illusion of being agape, “E… Equus? Well, that will explain it, but… How?” Following its words, two tentacles shaped members slithered out from the void behind the eye. The two new appendices approaching the shivering mare. They rustled her fur and mane between swift and careful motions.
Pinkie’s face straightened forcefully as she tried to remain quiet, which was becoming harder since each rub and pat just served to ticklish the defenseless mare.
“You don’t seem powerful enough to… no, it must have been someone else…” He commented, mostly to himself, “Who brought you to my dominions, pink mare?”
“Ahm…” she breathed, the arm of the entity playing around the joints of his forehooves, “cou- haha. Could you stop wi-“As if the arm had a mind of its own, it started to rub itself recklessly against the mare weak spot, “th-,hahahah! Stop the tickles!”
The arms of the being recoiled back and started to float around the eye, “Mhm… I seem to forget the way mortals react to such vain things…”
Pinkie took a moment to recover for the harassment, her face showing up a smile to the entity a moment later as she responded cheerfully, “This is the first time a scary creature makes me laughs by its own. My pinkie sense tells me that you and I will be great friends.”
The entity just glared sternly at her, his left arm motioning her to continue. “Oh, right, explanations. Well, you see, a friend of mine brought me here, he is a dragon with a special kind of fire that can teleport anything to wherever he pleases.”
The glare of the being eased, “A dragon you say?” he asked before his expression turned sternly, “Those rotten beasts always messing around with the realms of the gods.”
“Hey! That is my friend you are talking about! And he is not rotten in any way possible; he is cute, little, snuggable-”
“That is not a wo-“
“You haven’t had a good snuggle with that dragon. Once you do one, the word snuggable makes all the senses in the world!” she argued back. “Now, like I was saying: he also really cares about his hygiene, I mean, he polishes his scales every day, and if not by Twilight’s constant reprimands, he will still take eight hours long baths.”
Unknown to the rambling pony, a book was floating beside her, each word coming from her mouth turning into impressed letter inside the pages.
“And if by any means you tried to say that he is rotten on the inside then just let me tell you that you are twice as wrong. Spike is one of the most generous, pure, committed and altruist beings in all of Equestria.”
The book closed abruptly, making the pink mare squeak once again.
“I must confess that I’m intrigued by this particular dragon… but there is something more important for me at the moment.”He paused and placed the book on one of the shelves, “I will require of your attention, you lucky mortal, for I’m actually curious about how you got here… Truth is that getting inside my realm is no easy task, even more in the case of Equestrians because-” the entity paused, furrowed eyes appearing around him as they stared dagger at the pink mare who was now bouncing off to the deeps of the hall. The entity huffed, his eyes disappearing as he moved through the realm in its void like form.
“Boring~” Pinkie sang while happily bouncing forward, a sudden hold making her stop as she noticed she was now floating, “hey!”
“You can't comprehend how fortunate are you that I need your consent in order to search inside your mind. Otherwise, I would have just used you and dispose of your unworthy corpse afterward,” the void barked. “Now explain to me, how that dragon’s magic work?”
… There was no answer. The being sighed, “Simple mortals and their fear to death…” he muttered, a new giant eye slowly forming in the center of its form, “look, pity pony, will you tell me what I want if I promise-?” he stopped abruptly, his now fully open eye glaring left and right after noticing that the mare wasn’t encased in his magic hold anymore, to be more precise, she wasn’t even in the same hall.
“What in… Did she fool me? No that can’t be true, I inspected her; she is incapable to cast teleportation magic.” The entity recalled, his void-like form consuming itself before pooping out of existence
Pinkie Pie was now in another section of the realm, a huge book resting on her hooves as she happily read it, the words assembled in the books were a combination of bold archaic signs, but her eyes paid no mind to them, she only cared about the art shown on the book.
“Maybe this is the one?” she asked herself, the image of a purple pie covered in goo and gems reflecting on her baby blue eyes, “I can trust in that weird googlish look.”
Pinkie closed the book and left it on its previous shelf before moving once again, her happy strode being interrupted by a thunderous voice.
“How did you made it this far?!” The voice asked in a commanding tone, “It’s impossible for you to travel this far without being erudite on the art of teleportation magic.”
Pinkie looked at her surroundings, her brows furrowed in anger, “It’s rude to speak with someone without looking at them!” She pouted. “And to answer your question: I just galloped all the way here.”
The ruler of the realm appeared in its familiar form in front of her, “You? Did you gallop all the way here? What do you think I am? Someone to make fun of? Do you have any idea of how astronomically large is my realm?”
“Well it’s not big enough to put this notes on their respective shelves, that’s for sure,” she argued back, “I mean, this place really needs to be cleaned up.”
Multiple tentacles surrounded the filly, each one with glaring eyes instead of protuberances, “Don’t change the subject, you uncultured mortal! How did you manage to move three ul in less than an hour?”
Pinkie stood dumbfounded for a second, her brow arching as she asked, “ul? What is a ul?”
The god rolled all his multiple eyes almost at the same time, “Universe length. That can be from eight to one hundred billion light years depending on the universe scale used on your home planet. It doesn’t really matter because this place is…” The god paused, looking curiously at the equine as she was recklessly searching for something on the shelves, “What are you doing?”
The mare raised a hoof to the ruler of the realm, signaling him to hold still while she sunk her head inside a dusty old shelf.
“Here is it!” She screamed.
A click sound made echo on the hall, the sound was followed by a stream of wind from the ceiling. Before the god could turn his vision upwards, a tornado has already formed itself over of the two creatures.
“What in the name my boundless power is that?!” The god asked between anger and disbelief.
“That is the flushing system, you dummy, every place has one,” Pinkie explained.
The tornado grew in shape and form, swallowing all the junk resting on the ground as it grew and left in its place a clean pristine marble floor which reflected the lights in the sky. “Much better now… What were you saying?”
…
The god stood bewildered, its eyes wide as vinyl discs, thoughts running through its mind as he wondered about the little mare who was currently playing with her own reflection on the ground. Those shelves were created by me, is impossible for them to have that feature. The shelves only purpose was to be used by the souls lingering in this place… He thought, his eyes now fixated in the pink mare, she is hiding something from me.
“What are you? You… you equine looking creature,” he asked, his voice calmer than before but still deep.
“I’m a pony, an earth-pony,” She responded bluntly while bouncing in circles, her eyes fixated on the crystal clear floor.
“Nonsense!” the god took the pony by her legs and hold it in the air, “a simple pony, even one from Equestria, can’t just make my realm change out of the blue,” He approached his giant yellow eye to the pony. “That’s without menti-”
Pinkie pie glared at the god angrily, and with a flick of her mane, a faux fish coursed from within it and slammed the god’s eye.
It could have been a good move, maybe a funny event to laugh at from an outsider’s perspective… if not because the ruler of the realm was powerful enough to forget the feeling of pain.
“What was that for?” He asked unamused before a thought coursed through his mind. “No, no, hold on for a moment: there wasn’t a fish in that mane, in fact, there was nothing inside that mane.” He explained while releasing the fore-hooves of the mare.
Pinkie set her hooves in the air as if it was solid ground, “First of all, you should ask permission before sticking your weird tentacles on a mare fur. And second, you should seek for medical attention, those arms of yours can’t sense anything at all” She stated, and to prove her point, she started to shake her head recklessly, an assortment of objects falling to the ground as she moved.
… The god could only stand still as he witnessed how the mountain of objects was sent to the ground; Scissors, Bowls of all sizes, twelve pounds worth of candies and pastries, a pipe filled with tobacco , two sandwiches half eaten, a plushy shaped like a baby alligator, three books about quantum mechanics and finally a Pink canon.
Snapping at the last objects he finally asked, “What are the books for?”
“They are good to make my mane look bigger and puffier” she answered while caressing her still puffy mane.
His multiple eyes stared at the canon as his main eye stood fixated at the mare, as if he tried to not lose the sight of her. “But… it looks the same,” he pointed out with a tentacle.
Pinkie looked at her mane, noticing then that the weird looking entity was right and that her mane hasn’t changed at all. She shrugged and gave a chuckle before saying, “Guess you are right.”
The giant eye remained in silence for a moment, its companions still tantalized over the canon, what was the meaning behind that canon? That mare could hide a lot of things, but he was sure that the mare in her hold couldn’t hide a whole canon inside her mane, not because of the sheer size of the object but because of its weight.
While trying to concentrate on his next question, he drifted his main point of view off from the mare.
“That canon over there.” he turned his gaze back to the pony as he continued “Would you explain…”
…
She wasn’t there.
Two times… she managed to get away from my hold two times… from a god’s hands in his own realm…
The entity transformed again into its simple form before raising towards the ever-flowing green aurora, he kept forward and enjoyed the view as his realm became more and more big and detailed below him.
Look at this… my creation, the work of my immortal existence, a library that functions as a home for all the books which were ever conceived or will ever be. Each new book and each new follower gives me more power and makes my realm grow. There is no universe in which the length of my realm has been named, even as a joke or hypothesis.
The ruler fastened its pace, it’s now current velocity fast enough to make him invisible to the regular eye. His vision from below became more and more complex: a library with no end that resembled the appearance of a maze from which multiple halls moved by their own. The now vacuumed floor was offering the entity a peaceful view, as the reflection of the aurora combined with the ever moving halls drowned with shelves and books make the place look like an ocean.
An ocean of knowledge to dive in, an ever-flowing sea that can’t be filled. Its immensity gives me power just as its inability to stop growing makes me crave for more ‘water’. A limitless and everlasting search, for I know there is always something new to learn, things that only mortals can discover but will never be worthy to possess. Just like the things that pink mare knows...
“You really like to talk, huh?” a chirpy voice interrupted the god’s monologue.
The god’s giant eye snapped out to the surface, black swelled veins imprinting its cornea. “What in…” he paused for a second, making sure that what he was looking at was possible. The pink mare, the one self-named Pinkie Pie, was floating in the aurora that covered the sky as if it was a pool to swim in.
His eye shuddered, a sole black like oil tear of sweat trailing down his from. It can’t be… no mortal has ever… he shook from side to side, composing himself of his bewildered state, I need to make sure.
“How did you manage to get up here, little pony?” he asked, his echoing tone now soft but still with a trail of its natural godlike behavior.
“I just noticed that I could bounce higher than usual, and then thought: what if this place makes me lighter than usual?” She started while swimming like a dog around the God’s eye. “Then I bounced again, each time higher and higher, and then noticed that I could bounce in midair and thought,” She paused, her hooves now on top of her head, “What if this place has no gravity at all?!” She made a mind-blowing gesture with her hooves, “And that is it. Last thing I knew I was swimming here and then you arrived and started with rambling about your great power and blablabla…”
The immortal being stood in silence, his eye fixated on the mare. Not even the smartest erudite have discovered a method to use the lack of scientific laws on my realms for their own benefit. He thought, no, she looks too stupid to come to that conclusion, this was just mere luck, accompanied by the weird behavior of this individual. Yeah, that’s it. I’m sure once she knows the truth, she will explode like all the others did after trying to understand the implication behind my realms laws.
While the god was adrift inside his own thoughts, the little mare was enjoying herself, playing with a ball made out of magical residuals.
Should I tell her though? There are a lot of things unknown to me about her, He paused, no scratch that, almost the entire equestrian universe is a mystery to me… curse you Starswirl the bearded, he thought bitterly while his eye glared sternly to something beyond the infinite space of his realm.
Pinkie looked at the ground with care, her hoof scratching her chin as she pursed her lips in deep thought, “if I were a book about gems made confections, where should I be?”
That question made the entity perk its senses towards the little pony, “a book you say? Are you searching for a book about food?” He asked with a tone that hinted anxiety. “M- Maybe I could be of some assistance!” he paused his eyes glaring upwards as his desperate tone echoed inside his mind, he recomposed himself before the situation could get more shameful and continued, “I’m the monarch of this place after all, and I know where every piece of paper is. Even the ones you flushed from the floor”
She hummed, her eyes locked on the god’s one, “I ‘m not sure…” she chimed, “you seemed friendly at first, but all that: ‘I would have killed you already’ from early got me intrigued.”
“That? Or, don’t you worry is just a bad habit we gods have, is the usual thing,” That’s it, fool her, “now, what if we make a deal? I help you find the book, and you share your knowledge with me,” the being stretched a tentacle to her, “What do you say, deal?”
Pinkie looked at the extension of the god for a moment, and then at his eyes, and then at the tentacle again. She did that again, and again, and again.
Stupid mortal, just accept already so I can kill you and make of this just another weird occurrences to forget. The god thought as the rage inside him started to boil, he stretched his eye, making its pupil look like a smile so he could seem friendlier.
“Mhm, I think…” Pinkie said, her hoof moving towards the tentacle, “we have a d-” She stopped abruptly, her tail deflating a second afterward, “Ahm… nah, I think I’ll pass this time.”
“What?!” the god asked with tangible wrath in his tone, his eye widened at the realization of his own outburst. He then coughed harshly as if trying to dismiss his previous action. “Uhm, sorry I got something in my eye… ahm, can you tell me why you don’t want to make a deal?”
“Sorry,” She answered, her ears flopping down, “it’s a secret that only my friends now, and I have made me pinkie promise to not tell anyone that doesn’t seem friendly enough,” she explained before standing in mid-air with her back legs, “now if you excuse me, I have a book to find,” and with that said, she left herself fell to the immensurable maze of shelves.
Oh no you are not getting away this time, I will keep an eye on you until I found out how you managed to teleport earlier.
“Wait for me, I’ll prove to be worthy of your friendship,” he shouted, his tone echoing through the ocean of literature by mistake.
Pinkie didn’t answer, but smiled nevertheless, for she knew that anyone deserved a chance to get more friends, even a grumpy odd looking god.
And so the god followed her, moving at a neck breaking speed as the two creatures traversed through the library.
How…
how did we get here?
The god looked at his guest, the pink mare, while she happily hummed a tune and searched through one of the many shelves of the library.
This is at least seventy thousand and fourteen six uls from our starting point… but we didn’t move that fast… and I didn’t even blend the time-space like I usually do… nor that I remember…
He paused his thoughts for a moment and looked curiously at the mare.
Or maybe she did?
Pinkie took two books, one had an assortment of letters in flames on the cover while the other just had a toasted sandwich and the title.
No one has ever done that… except for me since I can control this universe as I please…
What…
What in the name of the endless abyss is this mare?
Pinkie laughed as she read the book, in her hooves.
“Look at this Voidy, I am a crispy protos roasted sandwich!” She laughed some more, “I don’t know what it is but boy do I look delicious in that photo.”
“Weren’t you looking for a … no, stop right there, that book is written in the old language used by Atrach, how did you manage to read it?”
“Well, at first I thought about learning the whole language, but then I found that there was a switch for subtitles in the back of the book.” She explained, her mane raising afterward in realization, “Oh that is right! Spike’s book.” She exclaimed before galloping away, “Thanks for reminding me, Voidy!”
And so the mare was on the move again. The god stood there, his eye half-lidded reflecting its inner thoughts.
I have the feeling that this conundrum is going to take me some time… he paused, feeling… it has been some time since I last used that word …
He started moving in search of the new location of the pony, who not to his surprise disappeared after turning in a corner.
Are all the mares in that universe like this? No… there were unicorn and Pegasus too, He recalled, Starswirl told me little about it but I know for sure that he made it clear that only unicorns could teleport…
He turned to his right, the movement of one of his books waking his senses.
Then it must be the other option… she found out how to use my realm for her own good… Mhm, I could stop her by making my realm follow a specific assortment of rules… but then some of my followers would get killed in the process.
In the blink of an eye, he popped out of existence, just to appear right behind the pink mare in another section of the endless library.
Better play safe, stick with the plan: make myself a ‘friend’ of this mare, get what I need and then…maybe kill her?
Pinkie Pie turned to her back and smiled at the void, “There you are Voidy, and you found me quickly this time.”
Found me? He thought intrigued for a second before dismissing it, “Uh… you are holding one of my books” he pointed to the book who was currently being swallowed by the mare’s mane, “I can pinpoint your localization as long as you keep it.”
The mare smiled sheepishly, “ha, ha funny… Spike can do that too if you grab one of the books of the castle… I discovered that skill of him the hard way though…” she commented, her cheeks suddenly turning red.
The void hummed, “A dragon that hoards books? Interesting…” he looked at the cover of the book inside the mare’s mane, a soup of gems in the cover, “you told me earlier that you were looking for a book, can you tell me more about it?”
“Will you help me find it?” she turned her head to the side as she furrowed her brows.
“If you are wondering if I still want to make a deal with you, the answer is yes. Whatsoever the answer to your actual question is ‘sort of’. I mean, if you happen to by some miracle find the book then I’ll confirm it for you.”
Pinkie looked at the ground for a moment, her head rising up with a smile, “It’s a book that holds the secret to make any kind of gem or precious rocks edible for anyone without using magic in the process.”
The god eye rolled slowly upwards while he thought about the information given, that book… yes, it does exist, but is not from her universe, from the little amount of books that I managed to get from Equestria there are none about cocking.
“How did you know about that book?” he asked intrigued.
“Well to put it short: Spike’s next birthday is in two weeks and I asked him what he wanted most for this year, he told me that he really would like to see his friends enjoying the food he eats. After hearing his wish, I went to the zebra lands because that is the place with more knowledge about dragons living among creatures, but I found nothing. Then, I went to the crystal empire but they only had recipes for their crystal food, it didn’t work with regular gems. Then…” she kept narrating, word after word echoing throughout the hall as the minutes passed.
This is the short version of the history?
“Then, I recalled that the yaks had a celebration after the war between the two races who ended centuries ago, so I thought: ‘Hey, they had to eat alongside dragons, right? Maybe they found a way to cook the gems’ sadly, it turns out they just eat the whole gems, and that’s why most of the old yaks don’t have teeth now. I was about to surrender but then Spike found me again, apparently, Discord told him about my adventures… He explained to me that if the book really exists then he could teleport me to the one holding it. It took us three days getting everything ready for his piro-portation spell to work.”
…
The God stood silent for a moment, his mind was in the middle of a fight as he wondered if all the information given was of any use. “Well, more or less,” he finally responded, his mind still bathing in the blood of doubts, “the book is here that’s for sure,” he reassured, “but I think you two didn’t think about how to get you back…”
Pinkie puckered her lips, her left hoof scratching her right leg, “yeah… now that you mention it… I need to get out of here before Spike’s party starts.”
“Ah don’t worry about it, time as a whole has no meaning in this realm for you, just like all the other laws of physics...”
…
The entity stopped bluntly, his eye wide open as he looked at the mare, don’t think about it. Don’t think about it, I still have much to know about Equestria. He pleaded.
Pinkie arched a brow at the ruler of the realm, “There are no laws in here, you say?” she smiled, “That will make things easier!” She cheered, her body disappearing at a slow pace a second later.
“No, wait, stop!” The god shouted irritated, “Don’t ponder about those stupid laws, they mean nothing just forget what I say earlier!” He exclaimed, his tone turning more desperate, “I still need your knowledge! Please keep talking with me and forget what I said!” it was useless, Pinkie’s body kept fading. “No, no, no, no. I will keep you alive, just tell me how everything works in Equestria before is too late. I can make this realm work like Equestria does!”
Pinkie didn’t answer and just let herself banish.
The realm crumbled for a moment, books falling from their shelves left and right
It’s useless, she is gone…
The shelves started to levitate off the ground
My only hope now is that the dragon she mentioned before tries to send another of his friends here… yes, that’s it… The world stopped quivering, and the shelves were once again settled in their respective place, I only have to wait for him.
“I GOT IT!” a cheerful voice echoed, its tone ethereal and godlike just like the owner of the realm.
The god’s tentacles tensed at the sudden booming sound. What… what was that? He asked himself in a vain attempt to calm his nerves.
“Voidy, I got it!” the voice repeated, “and it has this subtitle thingy too! Girl, I need to tell twilight about this switch thing when I get home, I could finally get to read her weird sci-fi novels about that drunk stallion and his grandson.”
Where… where is she? Wait, he stopped in realization, she has a book in her possession, I can find her… He concluded and started to concentrate.
He stopped again, this time in utter shock, eyes popping out left and right from his void like form.
She was right in front of him.
And behind him.
And all around him.
She is everywhere.
“Hey Voidy, I think I found where you came from… Is really dark in here” She said, “And there are other weird grumpy looking buddies in there. Hello!”
The abyss! I can’t let her get near it, she is too dangerous! He snapped, “Pinkie Pie! Come here in this instance!”
“Only if you ask nicely~” she responded in a sing-song tone.
The god hesitated for a second, his wide eye shaking afterward as he thought: Forget about her, she needs to get out of this place. Equestrian knowledge can wait.
“Pinkie, you have the book you wanted right? Manifest yourself, I want to make a deal with you,” he proposed.
“What kind of deal? Mr. I touch mares without permission?” she asked, mockingly.
“I’ll help you get back to your home if you promise to stop fooling around with my realm’s behavior,” he shouted at his surroundings.
… A humming sound resonated through the realm.
“Nah, I have another idea,” She responded, her figure forming in front of the god. “You promise to be my friend and I will destroy the self-destruction button.”
“Self-destruction button? You think I am a fool? That doesn’t exist,” He stated.
“Are you sure about that?” Pinkie asked with a knowing grin, her body now complete once again.
The entity backed off, sweat trailing down its tentacles. Should he believe her? The flushing system was unknown to him until that point. Given the weird occurrences happening around that mare, the self-destruction system was a possibility.
The immortal being was about to answer the proposal before the mare broke in laughs, making him jolt in surprise.
“You should look at you! Ha-ha, you truly believed me!” She exclaimed in the midst of her laughs.
This mortal…
Pinkie kept laughing.
“Enough. This. Is. Enough,”He shouted, his thunderous tone storming through the shelves like a giant cannonball as wrath coursed through his whole existence before launching a piercing tentacle towards the mare’s mouth.
The mare stopped laughing, her mouth full with that alien extremity.
“Dude, you don’t know how to take a joke, huh?” She said bluntly with a stern tone, her eyes turning down as she added, “there could be kids watching at this right now, so pull that thing out of my mouth before they start asking weird questions.”
“What?!” he shouted, his arms attacking recklessly at the little mare, “Why don’t you die?”
Pinkie glared at him unamused, “Really? You just told me that there are no rules here, A.K.A. I can’t die.”
The entity paid no attention to her words and kept sending killing blows left and right.
“That means that your molecules have nothing keeping them together.” He explained while his tentacles fastened their attack. “It means that there is no oxygen for you to breathe. It means that there are no laws making it possible for electricity to travel through your mind so you should not be able to think or even use your brain, to begin with.”
The god kept rambling his thoughts out loud. The pink mare whatsoever, just waited for him to stop, her eyes focused on something beyond him and his realm as he continued his merciful attack.
“I hope no one has a fetish involving this…” she said to no one in particular.
The entity didn’t mind her words and kept zapping and lunging his arms back and forth, proving to the mare’s patience that the wrathful being had unlimited stamina.
“Guess I’ll talk to you when you stop being a whinny meanie,” she said to deaf ears before disappearing again.
It has been quite some time since the pink’s mare arrival to my realm. Five thousand and one hundred forty-three hours exactly.
Pinkie was resting on the floor alongside two creatures of the realm, their appearance was now unique and had no trail of their previous form. Both of them were anthropomorphic cats whose size doubled the one of the pony, their sharper muzzles unusual for the pink mare just like the red third eye in the center of their foreheads.
After taking some time to analyze the situation, I decided to investigate her from the distance. Always having in mind that if she dares to approach the abyss again I will readjust my realm and kill her in the process if needed.
“So you are the ones who made that subtitle switch?” Pinkie asked one of the feral creatures.
“We created the spell and then handed it to the others. Any bookworm that gets here starts to develop an affinity for new languages after the first million hours or so… So it didn’t take us long for all of us to start translating the books,” the creature responded, its voice feminine and regal.
“I think we are close to getting one percent of the books in the realm translated,” the other creature added, its tone childish, “one of the guys say we could achieve that in about three to four thousand more million hours… if the only thing we do through that time is translate like we don’t care about learning on the process.”
“You got it wrong, that was the time needed to complete a fraction of that one percent,” she corrected.
The god watched the situation from above. This mare just keeps impressing me. Just look at her, messing around with my realm, making herself invincible, and now this… she has managed to get two creatures of my realm back to their senses, they both have stopped learning and now just read for “fun”. For my own’s sake, this is unbelievable!
“Wow, you two really got stuck in these dusty old books for…” Pinkie commented while scratching the back of her head, “Now to think of it, I don’t even know how much time I have been here… ”
“It doesn’t really matter, time’s meaning differs inside this place,” The female said, “We had tried to understand the science behind the abyss ways of doing things, unfortunately, most creatures died while making new theories.”
“Well, I’m sure Spike will send the others here after they notice I took too long,” she chirped.
“That may not happen…” The male commented, “The Abyss isn’t a place for mortals to live. Having a mortal out of his own realm could break the static laws of time and space, creating multiple timelines and by proxy, another abyss. So… in order to keep everything under control, something must happen during the process of a mortal arriving here,”
He paused for a moment to clean his paw with his tongue, “there are some hypotheses about what really happens behind the curtains, but none of them has been proved.”
Pinkie hummed intrigued at the new piece of information, “interesting…” she commented, before pulling a pipe, a hat from the Victorian age, a quill, and a pocket notebook, from her mane.
“Do tell me more,” she asked politely.
The duo exchanged a quick glance that showed more surprise than intrigue, the girl moving slightly forward as she explained:
“Some say that this void stops your timeline and then brings you here, once your visit is over, your universe will resume ‘moving’. Others say that since this is the endless abyss, this is supposed to be the end of all things, so in order for you to get here you must have traveled forward in time and space first…”
Pinkie nodded, her stern expression a reflection of the word ‘concentration’ while her soft and long hums denoted a hideous inner battle against herself to keep her from sleeping.
I don’t remember that hat being between her stuff… the god pointed out. Well it wouldn’t be the first time she pulls something out of thin air, his last words resonated inside his head, pull something out of thin air… that sounds familiar… wait, I remember now! He exclaimed, the theory of hammerspace!
While the god was thinking, Pinkie had just finished her notes and was giving it a second read while her new friend spoke.
“That’s everything we have for the moment. The only thing we know for sure is that once you make yourself a part of this god’s realm, in most cases using a black book or a deal with him, your whole… well… ‘You’ disconnects from the realms of livings and then you become a part of the void, making the timeline of your universe resume,” he concluded before closing its eyes.
Pinkie nodded and hummed in affirmation before throwing the notebook away, “Well, that was interesting but I don’t think it will help me. I’ll just keep doing what I’m best at and see how it goes.”
“Which is?” the female asked.
“Make friends, of course!” She exclaimed in glee and bounced away from the duo.
The duo waved goodbyes at her with an earnest smile on their faces. Meanwhile, the god was making his way up to the ceiling of the realm.
If she can use it, then it means that the theory can be proved. I just need to investigate by myself in a concealed area, he thought before popping out of his realm and into the abyss.
He looked at the boundless space of oblivion. His own figure was set in front of him: a colossal amalgamate whose entire body consisted of eyes and tentacles covered in oil.
I will need to use my real form for this.
Another failure…
The god was in front of an empty toolbox. An empty toolbox that should have any kind of object that he could think of.
This is the Quadringentillion time… at this rate, I will need to use the Protos’s numeric alphabet…
The god made the toolbox implode with a flick of his tentacles, the void of the abyss swallowing the scattered parts and the explosion itself.
I don’t understand… she makes it look so easy… maybe her body is-? No, no I already scanned her, she is a normal equine, is true that she has a little bit of magic inside her core but nothing strong enough to even use telekinesis.
The god glared at his dominion, a trail of shimmering green magic was connected between him and his “ocean of knowledge”.
I should see how is everything going inside there… he proposed, his giant eye going wide at the prospect of an unimaginable occurrence, my books… they aren’t being used… he stammered, no one is reading.
A tiny black hole figure disassembled itself from his real form. White ethereal energy flushed into the black hole as the god’s consciousness was transferred to its limited form.
Once again conscious he moved towards his dominion, which from afar looked like a green bubble with millions of little brown dots floating inside it.
I shouldn’t have left for so long… he reprimanded himself just before doubling his pace.
Is that an… an entire galaxy?
The god looked at his realm, confusion present on his expression as he detailed the new appearance of the realm which he ruled. Thousand of billions of dots covered his view, the sight reminescent of a planet coverred by nothing but ants. A sole giant star was used to provide warm light to the planets.
No, is more like a solar system, a homoungous one to be precise. he concluded before giving the place a second look.
All my followers, they are back to normal, and they… they created every planet to match their own… The god explained to himself, the meaning of his own words uncompressible for him; but there he was, looking how a portion of his domain was now being used as the home for all its inhabitants. They were no longer craving for knowledge, no more they were stuck inside books. They were just there, living, playing, eating, chatting…
Having fun…
He stood in place for a brief moment, his eye darting left and right. The words from before echoed inside his head, but those didn’t come from him, it was something instinctive, almost like a natural reaction but at the same time something foreign for him. The thought felt like the ultimate truth, and yet he doubted.
As he deliberated about the possible answer for his current situation, something distracted it. It was a tune, a happy tune that boomed from the distance.
“My name is pinkie pie,”
The god felt a shiver crawl around the spikes of its void-like from.
“And I’m here to say, I’m gonna make you smile, and I will brighten up your day~”
The entity couldn’t help but move towards the sound, and before he could even notice, he was near the main city of one of the new planets. A big crowd was at the center of the city, all singing in accord to the pink mare floating above them.
“'Cause cheering up my friends is just what Pinkie's here to do.
‘Cause I love to make you smile smile smile!”
The crowd sang, a smile present on every face as they happily danced.
This feeling… The god’s eye winced, he could feel something powerful crawling through his body, I have existed since the beginning, I have seen the truth inside almost every conceivable universe, and each time I did, there was a rewarding feeling afterward, but… this, I can’t even compare it…
Without any trail of doubt or hesitation, he teleported to another planet. The same scene but with a different crowd.
“But if you're kind of worried
And your face has made a frown
I'll work real hard and do my best to turn that sad frown upside down.”
The god grunted, I need to find her. He stated before teleporting again. The scene was almost the same in each place. Different creatures, different environment, and different languages, yet there was the same song, the same shared feeling, the same smile.
“It's true some days are dark and lonely
And maybe you feel sad
But Pinkie will be there to show you that it isn't that bad.”
He was about to teleport again, but the last part of the song made him drift off at the last second. He paused and took his time to concentrate on the feeling provided by those words. It was something new for him, something he had known because of books. Something that as a god would never feel in his immortal existence.
Hope… he stammered, his thoughts filled with enough power and magic to make them literally tangible. As the now literal assortment of letters bounced on the ground, he paused once again and teleported to the skirt of the artificially made galaxy. He needed some space to fully think as the meaning behind his current situation was now clear as day.
This are not my own, but the feelings of all my followers who are connected with me… he concluded, their happiness, their dreams, their… Hope. Hope to live again for themselves and not for the sake of knowledge.
Hope to enjoy life once again…
“Hello, Voidy!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, “Long time no see, little bud, what were you up to?”
The entity glanced in amazement to the equine beside him, she was the one, the real one.
“Pinkie Pie…” he gasped, tears welling in the pit of his black hole like form, “I had been wrong about you Pinkie…”
Pinkie turned her head to the side, her brow arched as she asked with concern, “What do you mean? And why are you crying?”
“These tears are not my own, but the ones from my subjects. But that is not the important part,” he reassured, his tentacle now pointing at the pink mare. “You are the important part… you are not just a simple mortal, there is something in you, in your illogical behavior, in your mind, in your whole self,” he stated, his tentacle hinting at her in an attempt to make his point more serious. “Something I had never seen or felt before. Something uncompressible to me. And as the owner of all the knowledge in the multiverse, I need to know, Pinkie. I need to understand it. I need to comprehend what you really are,” He pleaded.
The mare’s hoof traveled all the way to her chin, “Hmm… well,” she thought for a second, “beside what I already told you: I am a mare skilled in the art of baking confections of all sorts, a party thrower with certification,” she showed a signed scroll that affirmed her declarations, “And the bearer, slash, embodiment of the element of laughter.”
Embodiment, after leaving the god’s mind, the words turned to life and flew down across the waves of the green aurora that covered the sky.
“Embodiment of laughter you say?” he asked, his perfect sense of hearing now doubtful for him.
“Yes,” she assured, her lips and brows arching a second later, “well, Twilight once told me that my element is also named ‘joy’ but I prefer to keep it as ‘laughter’ ”
The embodiment of joy… now…
“Now everything has sense…” The god said in a soft tone. “Pinkie Pie… I… I can’t let you stay in here anymore,”
Pinkie pouted sadly upon hearing his words, “What? But I’ve already made a lot of friends!”
“You befriended all the creatures living in my realm to be more precise…” he stated, “And for that I’m… am really grateful. But you shouldn’t be here Pinkie,” He created a dark passage alongside him, “follow me. If you are going to leave this place, I can’t let you have that book you are carrying.”
Pinkie pulled the mentioned book out of her mane, “this one?”she asked even though she knew the answer.
“Yes, that one. You will need a copy that doesn’t resemble the original. Otherwise, the abyss will try to connect your universe with the one of the books in a vain attempt to bring logic behind ‘you having it’ in the first place. That will not end well, believe me,” He explained calmly.
Pinkie nodded, not entirely sure about everything that was happening, but with a smile brightening her face anyway. She placed the book on the ground and glanced at the dark passage in front of her, “What’s with the spooky door?”
“It leads to a place in which I had recreated a resumed version of every book ever conceived or will ever be… Well, in theory. Anyway, the place is known as ‘The Library of Babel’.”
Pinkie looked intrigued, her face darting left and right between the two dark figures, “so… your true name is Babel?”
The god rolled his eye, all these otherworldly revelations have made him forget the limited knowledge of the little pony, “Just follow me. As you may know, I really like to explain things, and I’m really enthusiastic to illuminate that otherworldly head of yours,” He stared with a shimmering eye at the confectionary mare, “I want to explain to you what you really are Pinkie Pie.”
Pinkie Pie’s grin grew by instinct, her body quivering with excitement, her mane flicking recklessly. She suddenly jumped in mid-air, rolled in all direction and then stooped in half jump.
…
The god narrowed his eye, “Uhm… what was that for?”
“Pinkie Sense! It told me that I’m about to know, or experience, something unique.” She explained in a cheerful tone before swimming towards the dark portal.
The god stood dumbfounded at the pink mare’s statement. She was about to find something unique? She was the synonym of singularity for crying out loud! He exclaimed just before releasing a laugh worthy of a demon lord’s approval.
…
“I haven’t laughed like that in… well, there is no record that could make a reference to that point in time… to begin with, I think the very definition of ‘universe’ didn’t exist at that moment.”
“Hey, it’s getting lonely in here!” Pinkie said, her head prompting to existence on the front side of the portal.
“Oh, my most sincere apologies, I just got taken back for what you just said early,” he said before recomposing himself, “Let’s get over with this, I have a new announcement to make in a few minutes.”
And with that said, the god entered the portal.
A seemingly endless hall was set on the other side of the portal. The green walls were crafted to serve as shelves, and their height was long enough to make the empire state shiver, not even the distance between the sun and the earth could be compared with the height of those craved walls.
Twenty five books rested on each row, and from each row, there was a floating eye alongside it, its shape and color the vivid image of the god who reigned the place.
Each column of the shelves had a number imprinted with gold letters in the red carpet that furnished the floor and at the same time served as a catalog.
“Well this place looks more organized, that’s a plus for you, and for Twi’ if she ever comes to this place,” Pinkie said while looking at her surroundings.
“I doubt I could find someone as worthy as you to let her or him be here…” The god mumbled. Before faking a cough to bring up the attention of the pony, “do you want to know about this place?”
The mare’s ears flickered for a second, “Explaining this place will make you happy?” Pinkie asked without turning to him.
… The god’s eye widened for a second before serenely coming back to its usual shape.
“Yes, Pinkie, explaining things to others really makes me happy,” He said, his tone ever so calm.
“Then, go on, we have all the time in the world… well, we don’t have time at all, but that is the same thing,” she said while narrowing her eyes to one of the eyes who was reading books.
“The library of Babel is a vast and limited complex in which all the knowledge in the multiverse should exist, Unfortunately that is not true, because every book has a limit, thus the knowledge inside them, and the library as a whole, is also limited,” He paused for a second to take a coverless book. “The spell is really simple, create a limited space, and fill it with every possible combination of books that could have 410 pages, each page has 40 rows, each row has 80 characters and there are a total of 25 characters. That assortment of rules will not end well, obviously,” he explained before presenting the book in his hold to the mare.
“Ha, ha, a book that has the word quesadilla in all its pages,” Pinkie laughed before her smile turned grimly, “I think I have the perfect heartwarming eve present for Twilight.”
The god acknowledged the meaning of his guest’s words before continuing, “While this book could be a mere joke in your world, there is a civilization which entire vocabulary consists in the word quesadilla.”
“So it means that this could be an important book for them?”
“Actually, is just a book about how to be a standup comedian,” He pointed out, “but don’t worry, I noticed earlier while you were making your first two friends what were the symbols present in your language.”
He gestured the whole library for her to admire, “This is a library of Babel made for you and the universes that use your same dialect,” He exclaimed with vigor as his tone redoubled and resonated throughout the hall, As if his bargain was a call for action, an eye moved swiftly to them with a book at hold, which gave to Pinkie after arriving, “And this is the book you were looking for, in your own language and everything.”
“Awesome! Thanks, Voidy, this one looks like someone really cared for it,” Pinkie greeted with an earnest smile.
“I’m glad you are satisfied,” he smiled, or at least, the way in which his eye curved up showed that kind of expression, “I can create infinite copies of that books so don’t you worry about anything.”
Pinkie did a double take at that last statement and glanced again at the other book on her hold, “So… Can I take this one too? If that is not trouble for you, of course,” She asked.
“Go ahead and take it, you have given me more than enough to compensate,” he responded before recomposing himself, “Now Pinkie, aside from the fact that I have an extensive amount of libraries just like this, there were a lot of reasons behind their creation.” He counted, “first I wanted to have the entire knowledge all for myself before anyone else could have it or discover it… but with each new language, there was another library to analyze… which only aggravated the first problem of this kind of library: most of the knowledge inside here is rather garbage or lies, more than once I have encountered libraries with less than one percent of veridical knowledge.”
While giving his explanation, Pinkie discovered that her previous powers over the laws of physics were no more. And so she decided to get back to her usual behavior and sit in her comfy tail. Meanwhile, the god kept his explanation in detail.
He glared to the vast hall at his side, “Then I tried to use it as a way to ensure a deal with mortals, and most of the times it worked well… but there was only something, something missing inside me, I always felt that craving, a void that was reminiscent of my own appearance. I needed something else.”
The eye turned towards the mare, “You, Pinkie pie, made me realize what was the thing missing, and now I know what I really want. Can you guess what it is, little pony?”
“Make everyone love books like you do? Nono, wait, more knowledge? Nonono, this one is better: free everyone to the tyranny behind the libraries’ tax system?!”
The god released a harsh and deep laugh that boomed and for a brief second corrupted the whole composition of the library, “The answer is more complicated, my dear…” he finally said, “the real purpose behind all of this… and the one thing I really desire,” he glanced at her, his eyes shimmering like a poet witnessing something more beautiful than the poems of his idols.
“I want to be like you, Pinkie.”
The mentioned mare tilted her head in confusion.
“I want to be the embodiment of knowledge, just like you are the embodiment of joy. I want to be something beyond any rule, something that exists in every universe; something that can fulfill itself by the mere fact that it exists, something that is truly omnipresent and omnipotent.”
“Something like you, a true god.”
Pinkie’s face was the vivid image of disorientation, a mountain of doubts clouding her mind, most of which beyond her own comprehension, like how works the God's sight after he summons more eyes? Or, how he can read that immensurable amount of book at the same time? Or, what kind of dessert will be healthier to give to someone that just eat an entire jar of pickles? But the most important doubt at the moment for her was:
“How can I help?” She asked, her smile turning warm and bright.
“Given my circumstances, and my vast expertise, I already made acquaintance with more than a billion different ways to make myself an embodiment of knowledge, and I can recite you each one in your own terminology,” he rolled his eyes across the room, “the only problem is, that I don’t know which path is the rightful one.”
Pinkie climbed up from her seat and pulled a tie, and a portable chalkboard from her mane. “Well, my little multi-eyed friend, if you need my advice, what I can tell you is this: help everyone with the one thing you are better at, in this case: explaining and teaching to others what you know,” she assured him while writing the words ‘knowledge + share = good’.
“Help everyone? Even the mortals? Why would I have to?” he asked confused, his tone hinting spitefulness. “There are creatures that had their own domains inside the abyss, entities that are stronger as me or even more. They should be the only ones worthy enough to receive my services.”
“Do I know them?” Pinkie asked.
“I can bet you don’t, but…”
“Do you followers know each one of them? I don’t think so, or maybe they do, but I know for sure that they are not interested in them, they are only interested in you.”
“And why should I care for them? They’re nothing but mere mortals; occurrences that happened randomly inside the abyss and were released as new souls or universes.”
Pinkie stood still for a second, her hyperactive mind struggling with a perfect answer to the being in front of her, and like a light bulb that explodes after an overcharge, she discovered something powerful enough to explode the bubble of knowledge and ego in which the god was concealed.
She pointed a hoof to the God and with determination burning in her eyes she spoke:
“Let me answer you that question with another one: what will you be if mortals didn’t exist?” She then moved a step forward and stretched her hoof once again at him, “How could you be the life of a party that has no guests but only the staff members?”
The entity didn’t have an answer to that question, but Pinkie knew how to solve his dilemma.
“I think I had you there, didn’t I? Tell me what you are thinking, Voidy, that will help you out.”
If not because the lack of mouth, the god would look agape at that right instance, he stood there for a moment, his eye shaking as his mind processed all the realizations coursing through it.
“What would it be of my libraries? Most of my books will be filled with nonsense if not because there are universes that makes their content truthful. My whole knowledge, the results of my everlasting work… It will mean nothing if not…”He breathed down and took strength to say his next words.
”May the abyss’s unlimited hunger consume my faults…”
He paused for a moment, his eyes darting down as he realized something, “How could I have been so blind? The whole reason for me to have a name is because they gave me one to begin with.”
“Yeah, I heard that a lot while making friends back there. Mundus, The eye that all sees, Yog-Sothoth, Hermaeus… ” Pinkie pie added, “but I still prefer Voidy’.”
“If I couldn’t even have a name… being an embodiment, a god, will be impossible for me…”
Pinkie smiled from ear to ear, “Looks like someone figured it all out,” she said before pulling her trademark canon from the deeps of her puffy mane, “this deserves a party!” She exclaimed before pulling the rope at the back of the canon, a mountain of confetti was expelled upwards before dispersing itself into a vast colorful and glimmering rain.
“A party… huh?” The god said still adrift between the revelations from before, “Party… Party!” He jolted, making the pink mare jump exalted, “Pinkie, you have a party to attend right?”
“Well, yeah that is true but it does not matter, time-”
“No, Pinkie, this library is different, the laws of physics do exist in this section of my domains, I need them to make the books inside here a reality beyond the abyss jurisdiction.” He explained briefly.
“Could you speak my language again? You were doing pretty great previously.”
He grunted in exasperation, “Ugh, just… just, put your canon back in its place and grab the books, can you? I will send you back home in a minute.”
“Uh? But I thought you said you didn’t know how to get to my universe. Or at least that’s what I thought since you were throwing at me all those weird questions upon my arrival.”
“You are partially correct. I still don’t know how that dragon managed to get you in here. Getting you out whatsoever is as simple as this,” he clapped two sections of one of his tentacles. Shortly after the image of Pinkie started to fade.
“I destroyed the realm that host all the mortals’ souls, and at the same time, I freed you, Pinkie, and all my followers too.”
“That is awesome! I’m sure they will be happy to get back to their world,” She said with joy, her eyes snapping wide a second later, “Wait, what about that dark place I saw before? Am I going there?”
The entity snickered slightly and gestured her to relax, “Your souls are still connected with your universe, so the abyss will not harm you in any way.”
“That is good to know,” she chirped before looking down at her body, her lower section had disappeared and her chest was the next one on line, “It seems like I still have time, do you want to tell me anything else?”
“I do know now what to do Pinkie Pie, I just needed the right push, or in this case, the right book to read. Give me some time and you will see that I too will be an embodiment.”
“That could take forever inside this place…” she said, her tone worried just as her blue expression remarked, “oh, I know!” She whipped her tail upwards, a brown portrait now traveling in the air, “catch!”
The god didn’t hesitate, and in less than the blink of an eye, he took the portrait and looked the picture in it: it was a photo of Pinkie and him, the point of view was closer to the mare while he was in the back glaring at her, the most remarkable thing was her dummy expression and her tongue lolling out in a childish manner.
“I don’t remember you taking a picture of us…” He muttered before glancing at her, the pink mare only had her head remaining on the realm. “Which reminds me… Pinkie you seem to be capable of using the theory of hammer space… but that is something only seen in fiction. How were you capable to use it in reality?”
Pinkie laughed warmly at the question, “You silly Voidy, you have lived all your life inside a library and you haven’t figured it out yet?”
“What do you mean?” He asked more intrigued than ever before in his whole existence.
“This is a book too!”
Pinkie’s statement caught the god off-guard, he couldn’t help but only watch how her mouth was the only thing remaining of her body.
“See you later, Voidy!”
…
The god snorted.
Then snickered a little.
Then laughed.
And then released a full blown laughter.
Taking a moment to recompose himself, he looked beyond the vast library around him, and once again he used his booming and ethereal tone to speak.
“See you later, Pinkie Pie.”
Author's Note
Pinkie pie is a great character for me, my second favorite in the whole series for more reasons that the ones projected in this story. So i wanted to make something for her.
but...
Holly molly. This was a long ride for me, i expected at first to make this fic 4k words long but well... i couldnt stop myself... the fact that i was thinking about this whole story for a month didn't help either.
Anyway, thanks for reading my fic 
