Balthazar Blackwell sat in his favorite computer chair, searching the web with no clear goal in mind. He had just finished another semester at college, his printed out grades sitting next to him. Unsurprisingly, he had aced his classes once again. He smirked as he recalled his classmates complaining about how hard they had found the finals to be. It was hard to keep himself from boasting that he had barely even studied during Finals Week and had taken no hits to his sleep schedule. He was brought out of his reminiscing by the sound of his mother’s voice.
“Balth! Can you come talk to me for a moment, please?”
“Sure thing!” He put his computer to sleep mode and stepped into the kitchen where his mother was waiting for him.
She looked good for a woman in her late forties with only the faintest hint of age setting into her face. She had long black hair that she had bound into a loose braid, skin that was a soft shade of brown (something he had inherited from her, and deep brown eyes.
“What's up, Mom?” He asked, placing his hands in his pockets. “Need me to help cook or something?” Under her tutelage, he had become quite the cook himself.
She chuckled, motioning to a pot that was on the stove. “I think I can make your favorite curry on my own, Balth.” She had a faint Indian accent, one that was faintly melodic. “No, your father and I were talking and considering your grades we thought you deserved a bit of a reward.”
Moving over to the table, she lifted a box from under it. Placing it on the table, she motioned for him to open it. “Go on now.”
He walked over to the box, opening the flaps and pulling out a golden, metal gauntlet. His eyes lit up as he instantly recognized it. “You got me a recreation of the Infinity Gauntlet?” He turned it over in his hands, inspecting every inch of it, noting that it had eight sockets instead of six. “This must’ve cost a pretty penny.” He looked her in the eye. “You guys didn’t have to do this.”
His mother smiled, shaking her head. “With your grades, you deserved something nice.” Glancing at the gauntlet, she motioned with a hand. “Why don't you try it on?”
Balthazar smiled, pulling her into a brief hug. “Thank you, Maan.” He stepped away, slipping the gauntlet onto his left hand. He flexed his fingers, striking a pose for her. “Fits like a glove,” he joked.
His mother’s smile grew, and she placed a hand on his shoulder. “You make me so proud, Balthazar.”
He was about to respond when he suddenly felt very dizzy. He stumbled backward, his vision blurring as he collapsed onto the floor.
His mother stood over him, eyes glowing yellow. “Your purpose is finally at hand, Balthazar. You must find the gems, all of them. Let nothing stop you.”
Her voice trailed off towards the end, Balthazar’s consciousness fading. Some time later, he shot upright, his body covered in a cold sweat. His eyes darted around, taking in foreign surroundings.
“Okay, Mom. Very funny. Now where'd you take me?” Getting to his feet, Balthazar brushed himself out. Finding himself out in the woods, the sounds of animals reaching his ears. “Maan!” he called out, scanning the woods for any sign of her. Again, there was no response aside from the cries of animals.
“Just great,” he grumbled, shaking his head. Picking a direction, Balthazar began to walk. “This isn't funny! Giving me a cool prop doesn't make up for this!”
He continued to shout and grumble, swatting at insects that buzzed around his head. He never aimed to kill them, the last thing he needed was his grandparents’ voices ringing in his mind to kill no living thing. Eventually, he saw that the trees were starting to thin out and the edge of the forest he was in was close.
“About damn time.” Putting a spring to his step, he jogged out of the tree line.
He came to a skidding stop, waving his arms to keep himself from falling down a sheer cliff face that he had suddenly found himself at. Once he found his balance, he looked up and spotted a structure in the distance. At first glance it looked like an extraordinary rock feature, with vines creeping over it. But the more he looked at it the more he noticed the places that seemed like they had once been windows making it look more like a derelict castle.
“Okay, what the hell? I'm pretty sure Seattle doesn't have castles.” Putting the oddness at the back of his mind, he made his way towards the structure.
He found a sloped path that led down towards the structure. Taking it slow, the last thing he wanted was to crack his skull open in the middle of nowhere. A sudden thought struck him, causing him to stop dead in his tracks. He pulled out his phone and pressed the lock button.
“And no service,” he grumbled, shoving the phone back into his pocket. “Should’ve expected as much.” Resuming his trek, he found himself at the foot of a rope bridge that led into the castle. He tested the strength of the wooden boards, carefully applying his weight to one with one of his feet. When it held he slowly made his way across.
“Okay, just hold on for me bridge...” He took it one step at a time, bracing himself on the ropes until he finally stepped onto dirt once more. “I'm gonna kick Mom’s ass...” Muttering to himself, he stepped up to the castle’s main doors. Pushing with all his might, the doors groaned and pushed inwards. What greeted him was a destroyed room, piles of rubble strewn about and a ruined length of red carpet along the floor.
The main attraction so to speak seemed to be a structure with a central plinth and five plates that extended out from it. They were all empty, indicating that this place had been ransacked in the past. He paused, something catching his attention. It was faint, but it sounded like there were voices further into the castle. He debated with himself for a moment whether or not he should go toward the sound. In the end, he figured it was his only chance to find civilization and ascended the stairs towards the source of the chatter.
“Hello?!” He called out, deciding to throw caution to the wind. At least until he knew where he was.
Balthazar’s wandering led him through a hall with tapestries lining the walls. He took note of an odd crest that depicted a sun and moon as well as two winged unicorns circling one another. What struck him as odd was that he couldn’t think of any noteable family that said crest belonged to. Shrugging it off, he chalked it up to a minor family that had somehow accomplished nothing worthy of the history books.
Eventually, he stepped into a library, frowning when he noticed that quite a few of them looked damaged beyond repair. Walking around, he picked a random book from the shelf and cracked it open. Strange lines and squiggles greeted his eyes.
“What the hell?” he asked, flipping through the pages only to see more of the alien squiggles. He picked up several more books, finding more and more examples of the gibberish.
“It's like trying to read Russian,” Balthazar commented, tossing the last book over his shoulder. “That, or I'm suddenly Dyslexic.”
His attention was grabbed by a bright light coming from the second level of the library as well as the sound of several screams. He rushed towards the source, only to be utterly baffled by what he saw. Several… creatures were being sucked into whatever it was that was creating the bright light, each of them hanging onto one another in a chain.
Balthazar just stared, his mind trying to process what he was looking at. The creatures were humanoid, that he could tell. The only thing wrong was the extra appendages he could make out like wings and horns. Not only that but they were covered in fur and in place of feet they had hooves.
“Uh... You guys need help?!” He called out hesitantly, eyeing the light source.
A chorus of “Yes!” sounded out as the first one in the chain started to disappear from view into the light source.
After a moment's hesitation, Balthazar rushed over, grabbing the last link by their waist. “The hell is even happening right now?!
“I have no idea!” a feminine voice chimed. “But it looks super fun!” He took a closer look and his eyes felt like they were assaulted by the sheer amount of pink on the creature. Dark pink curls rested on her head while her fur was bright pink.
Despite digging his heels in, the chain lost another link to the light. Then another. And another. Finally, Balthazar himself was pulled into the light, his entire world spinning as he felt a stretching sensation.
A grunt emitted from his throat as he landed on a hard surface. “That hurt...” Sitting up, he brought a hand to his face, only to flinch as cold metal touched his skin. He looked down, noting that the gauntlet his mother had given him was still on his hand. “Huh, almost forgot I was wearing this thing.”
He took in his new surroundings, seeing a bustling cityscape sprawled out around him. He frowned, moments ago it had been the middle of the day, yet he now found that it was the dead of the night, and in the middle of a city. He then turned around and his breath hitched in his throat. The creatures that had been sucked into the light all seemed to be female if the curves being hugged by their new spandex outfits were anything to go by.
Disregarding a few thoughts from his head, Balthazar got to his feet. “So... I'mma go out on a limb and hope this is all some weird dream or trip.“ His eyes narrowed, a thought striking him.
“Unless, the gods have decided to send me on some quest. Am I an incarnation of Vishnu or something?” A pleased look grew on his face. “Well, turns out Hinduism is true and I am the avatar of a god.”
“Whoa what are you supposed to be?!” the pink creature from before asked, rushing over to Balthazar and invading his personal space.
“Woah, calm down will ya?” Balthazar stepped back, putting a hand out to push her back. “I'm Balthazar Blackwell, pleased to meet you strange horse woman.”
The pink horse giggled, snorting every once in awhile. “I’m not a horse, silly billy, I’m a pony! My name’s Pinkie Pie and I’m happy to meet you too!”
Realizing that his hand was resting on her chest, he quickly withdrew it. “Right, talking pony women. This certainly sounds like a myth.”
Another of the horse women stepped forward, this one having wings and a horn like the artwork in the castle. “I don’t mean to interrupt, but I think we need to figure out what’s going on.”
“You and me both, pegacorn,” Balthazar agreed, walking to the edge of the roof. “I'd say we were in New York, but uh, The Big Apple doesn't have pony women. Well, at least not real ones.”
“Actually, the term for what I am is alicorn,” the purple pony corrected. “And I think we’re in the world of Spike’s comic.”
“Who?” Balthazar turned, stepping away from the edge. “Are you seriously telling me someone named their kid 'Spike’?”
The purple pony’s feathers ruffled and she shot him a small glare.
“Hey! I’m not a kid, I’m a dragon!” a young voice barked.
Balthazar leaned to the side, noting a small, scale covered boy, wearing a rather plain costume. “Right...” Frowning, he glanced down at his gauntlet. “I get sucked into a comic; and I don't get to mess around with this thing? What a rip off.”
“Look, we’re getting distracted,” the scale covered boy said, turning to the ponies. “You guys are the Power Ponies now, the greatest heroes of Maretropolis.”
“Wow, that's a lame name,” Balthazar commented, snickering. “Sounds like you guys need a name's guy.”
“It’s not lame,” the dragon argued, a pout on his face. “The Power Ponies were the first superhero team ever.”
“That doesn't mean they don't have a lame team name,” Balthazar countered. “You wanna know good names? The Fantastic Four, The X-Men, The Justice League.”
The white pony coughed into her hand, getting Balthazar and the dragon’s attention. “Excuse me gentlecolts, but I think we have more pressing matters to attend to. Matters such as getting out of this comic book.”
“Don't ask me.” Balthazar shrugged, running his eyes over her body. “I don't even know if any of this is real.”
The dragon rubbed his chin, looking between the ponies. “Well, the note I read in the last page said something about reaching the end, so maybe we have to act out the events of the comic?”
“Who the hay am Ah supposed ta be anyway?” An orange pony asked, taking in her new look. “An why is this darn costume so tight?”
“The costume’s tight so it can’t get caught on anything during a fight,” the dragon answered. “As for who you are, you’re Mistress Marevelous!”
“And to make bank off horny teenagers,” Balthazar added, crossing his arms. “Seems to work across species.”
The dragon blushed, turning his head away. “Wh-what, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I just like the gripping plots and creative storytelling.”
“Right kid.” Balthazar gave him a knowing smirk. “And the good looking women in latex has nothing to do with it, right?”
A yellow pony adjusted her wings, looking uncomfortable with the topic. “Um, so how exactly would we get to the end of the comic?” she asked softly.
“Probably beat some guys up, foil a convoluted plan.” Placing a hand on his chin, Balthazar tsked. “Honestly, it probably depends on what Age this comic was made in. God help us if we’re in a dark age comic.”
“Dark age?” the dragon questioned. “I’ve never heard that term at any of the meetups I’ve gone to. What would a dark age comic be like?”
“Super edgy, people with tons of straps and pouches, really dumb stories that ended up going nowhere, like the Clone Saga.”
The dragon’s snout scrunched up and he stuck his tongue out. “Oh yeah, I’ve seen a couple titles that match that description in shops lately. One was seriously called, Blood Gun.”
“The comics crash will follow in a few years,” Balthazar proclaimed sagely. “Okay kid, what are we working with here? Who's who and what can they do?”
Spike nodded, proceeding to explain the new identities of the ponies as well as their new abilities. He even went into detail about some of the more impressive feats each hero had performed.
“Okay so, we got knock offs of Green Lantern, Thor, the Flash and The Hulk. The love child of Wonder Woman and Captain America, and the pony version of the worst mutant, Cyclops.” Balthazar hummed, looking out onto the city. “Not too bad.”
“Um, can I sit the fights out?” the yellow pony asked, holding her hand out. “I’m usually a pacifist so I wouldn’t be very useful.”
“To use a cliche, 'With great power, comes great responsibility,’” Balthazar quoted, looking back at her. “So, no. You can’t, not unless you're okay with living in a magic comic.”
The yellow mare deflated slightly. “Okay, I’ll try.”
“Who do you think you are, telling us what to do?!” A rainbow haired pony asked, wearing a black outfit with a lightning bolt pendant around her neck.
“I’m Balthazar Blackwell and I’m someone that has about two decades worth of experience with superhero media.” Balthazar regarded her with a smirk. “You just worry about making sure no one rips that outfit. I only hope you got underwear on under it.”
The rainbow pony gritted her teeth, folding her arms under her chest. “I was wearing underwear before this insanity, but I haven’t exactly had time to check what’s going on under the tights.”
“Well, if you need a helping hand.” Balthazar’s grin widened and he wriggled the fingers on his gauntleted hand.
Instead of bristling and shouting like he expected, the rainbow maned pony gave him a lidded look. She then strutted towards him, exaggerating the sway to her hips. “Now there’s an idea~” she purred. “It has been a while since I’ve gotten with a stallion.” She stopped about a foot away from him, thrusting her chest out to him. “Go ahead, big guy, lend all the help you want~”
Balthazar froze, staring at her. This had not been the reaction he was going for. A slap in the face or some ribbing back, that he knew how to handle. Someone actually going with it threw him for a damned loop. He gulped a bit, glancing down at the offered chest. It wasn’t the biggest pair he had ever seen, but he was in no position to complain.
Deciding to up the ante, he put on a straight face and reached his hand up, giving one of her breasts a good squeeze.
The rainbow pony smirked, not even flinching from the groping. She then let out a moan, leaning into his hand.
“Are the two of you done being inappropriate?” The alicorn spoke up. She stood in front of the dragon, covering his eyes and ear fins. “I'd rather not have Spike seeing this.”
“That depends, does glove boy here wanna up the ante again?” the rainbow pony asked with a smirk, chuckling. “Because if he does then we’d probably need to find a place to be alone.”
“I make a point to know my partners first, Pride Parade,” Balthazar shot back, removing his hand. “And, it's a gauntlet, not a glove.”
The rainbow pony rolled her eyes. “Oh wow, a gay joke, never heard one of those before. The name’s Rainbow Dash.”
“Well Dash, I'll take a raincheck on that offer.” Clearing his throat, Balthazar chose to ignore how hot his face felt. “At least until I know where I am.”
Dash shrugged before putting her hands behind her head. “Can’t argue with that. I don’t think I wanna turn this into an adult comic either. I’d feel guilty for poisoning so many young minds.”
“Are you guys done being weird?” Spike asked, freeing himself from the alicorns grip. “We have to get the plot started!”
“Slow your roll there, Dragon Tales,” Balthazar said, holding his hand up. “These six need to practice with their new abilities first. The last thing we need is for them to trip all over themselves and muck things up.” Turning to Rainbow Dash, he pointed to the sky. “Alright, Skittles. Show us what you got.”
Rainbow cracked her knuckles and grabbed the pendant. “Sure thing, hairless ape.” She thrusted the necklace upward, a bolt of lightning firing from it.
Each of the mares gave a demonstration of their powers, except for the yellow one. Fluttershy couldn't find it in herself to hulk out and smash things. That was probably for the best though, if Saddle Ranger was anything like the real thing, then the other girls would’ve exhausted themselves trying to get Fluttershy under control.
“Okay!” Balthazar clapped, wincing as metal hit skin. “Gotta remember I'm wearing the damned thing,” he muttered to himself, shaking his hand. “I think we’re good. Let's get the plot going and get out of here.”
Everyone chimed in agreement, each of them finding their own way down from the skyscraper roof. Spike and Balthazar were given a ride in a construct that Rarity made with her powers.
Balthazar glanced at his gauntlet again, feeling a pang of envy. “It's just not fair man. Not fair in the slightes at.”
“Hmm, did you say something, darling?” Rarity asked, glancing at him over her shoulder.
“Nothing of importance,” Balthazar replied, tearing his eyes away from the gauntlet. They lingered on Rarity for a moment before he glanced down at the street. “At least I get some eye candy...”
The group reconvened on the street, Pinkie having a bag of popcorn in her hands that she was happily munching on. “What took ya so long?”
“Pinkie, where’d you get that popcorn?” Dash asked, hovering above the street.
“From a store!”
“And where do ya even keep yer bits in that outfit?” Applejack asked, swinging down from a streetlamp and returning her lasso to her hip.
“My hair!”
Balthazar chuckled at the exchange. “Hey Pinkie, mind doing me a favor? Could you zip on over to this world’s equivalent of a 7-11 and grab me a slurpee and some corn chips, please? Something tells me snacks are gonna make watching this fight better.”
“Sure!” Pinkie zipped off in a blur, reappearing a moment later. “Here ya go!” She smiled, holding out a bag.
“Thank you, Pinkie.” He took the offered snacks and sipped from the slurpee. “I owe you one.”
“So who’s the baddy that we have to fight, Spike?” Dash asked, glancing down at the drake. She got her answer when an explosion obliterated a storefront down the street.
There was a loud cackle that cut through the billowing smoke and green tendrils wrapped around various objects. A moment later, and a mare pulled herself from the storefront, revealing that the tendrils were in fact part of her mane.
“Well that's new,” Balthazar commented, blinking a few times. “You don’t see hair superpowers too often.” He took a closer look at the cackling mare. “Huh, it’s like someone put Medusa and the Joker in a blender.”
“It's the Mane-iac!” Spike shouted, pointing at the strange mare dramatically.
Balthazar nodded his head, judging the name for a few moments. “Not bad, certainly gets right to the point. Mane powers and is insane. I’ll give it a seven out of ten.” Clearing his throat, he motioned to the collective group of mares. “Well, go get her.”
Twilight stepped up, her horn glowing with a blue aura. “Hey Mane-iac, freeze!” She fired a blue bolt, striking one of the tendrils of the Mane-iacs mane and encasing it in ice to a street lamp.
“Oh my! The puny ponies have come to ruin my fun!” Mane-iac pouted, looking at her frozen tendril. “Can't a girl just do a bit of shopping?”
“Oh my, somepony is most certainly having a bad hair day,” Rarity said, creating a large pair of shears with her abilities. “I do believe you need a trim, darling.” She sent the construct towards the Mane-iac, aiming to lop it off towards the roots.
Mane-iac hissed, tossing a piece of burning debris at the shears. “Nopony touches my hair!”
“I’m touching it!” Pinkie called, poking one of the free tendrils. When it tried to grab her, she zipped away and poked at another one. “I’m still touching it!”
“Stay still, I can't destroy you if you don't stay still!” Mane-iac flailed her mane around, lashing out in all directions.
“But I am standing still!” Pinkie replied, weaving her way through the thrashing mane. “I stop moving for like… a nanosecond every so often!”
“How is she a threat?” Balthazar asked, glancing down at Spike.
“She usually is really good at making plans and laying traps,” Spike explained, rubbing the back of his head. “Plus she’s really good at organizing her minions.”
“Doesn't look like it.”
“Maybe this is a bad issue?” Spike offered. “They happen every so often.”
Balthazar nodded. “I get ya, every great series has stinkers. Do not get me started on One More Day, we’d be here for like a week over how much I could rant about that.”
Seeing movement in the corner of his eye, Balthazar turned his head, seeing some stallions aiming a giant can of hairspray at the girls. “Uh, Spike?”
“Girls!” Spike cried, pointing his claws at the stallions. “Mane-iac’s lackeys are sneaking up on you with a giant can of maximum hold hairspray!”
“A can of what?” Applejack asked, tying up a portion of Mane-iac’s tendrils.
Spike didn’t have a chance to clarify as the henchponies pressed the button down on the can and released a mist on the girls. They locked up, tumbling to the ground like statues.
“Okay, I take back my criticism,” Balthazar said, wincing at the sight. “But now it looks like we need a backup plan. You got any powers?”
“No, Humdrum is basically just a mascot,” Spike replied. “But maybe I can still breathe fire like normal?”
“By all means kid, be my guest.” Balthazar held his hand out. “That's more than I can do. If that doesn't work, I'll come up with something...”
Spike nodded, gulping as he clenched his fists at his sides. He then took a deep breath, puffing out his chest as he charged at the henchponies. As soon as he was close to them, he released his breath and closed his eyes.
“And what do we have here?” Mane-iac grabbed Spike up in her tendrils, lifting him into the air. “Oh, it's just that nopony Humdrum.”
Spike let out a yelp, struggling against his captor’s grip. “You’re not going to win, Mane-iac. You always lose.”
“Oh please.” She tossed him away like he was trash. “You don't even have superpowers. Go back to playing with the other foals.”
Spike grunted as he became stuck in an actual trashcan. He gripped at it, trying to pull himself free.
“Oi! Don't go throwing little kids around, you hentai looking horse woman!” Balthazar shouted, scowling. He knew this was stupid, but treating a child like that where garbage was something he wasn't going to let slide.
Mane-iac turned to face Balthazar, an unamused look in her eyes. She slid a tendril, wrapping it around Balthazar’s legs and suspending him in the air upside down. “Would you rather I throw you around, whatever it is that you’re supposed to be?”
“I am Manos, the Hand of Fate,” Balthazar spoke, holding a straight face. “Bearer of the Infinity Gauntlet, the key to unlimited power.”
“Oh really?” The Mane-iac grinned, chuckling at him and shaking him in her tendril. “Then go ahead and show me some of this unlimited power, Manos. Breaking out of my grip should be a breeze for you.”
“But of course.” Doing what amounted to a sit up, he reached out his hand, proceeding to oddly and repeatedly paw at her tendril.
“Uh, why are you petting the boss’s mane?” One of the minions asked, a confused look on his face.
“I am calling upon the power of Time!!” Balthazar declared with utter confidence. “Do you not see the year's melting away, time running in reverse?”
A chorus of “No!” sounded out from everyone present.
Balthazar continued the same action, though if one were to look close enough, they would see the sweat forming on his brow. “I am Manos, the Hand of Fate! As I decree, so it shall be!!”
Despite any and all logic or natural law that should’ve made it impossible, a spark formed around Balthazar’s hand and the air shimmered faintly. The spark jumped between his hand and her tendril. After a few moments, the tendril started to slowly shrink into the Mane-iac’s head.
It didn't take long for it to drop Balthazar on his ass, or for the effect to spread to the rest of Mane-iac. She started to shrink, and her cocky tone vanished. “Make it stop!” She shrieked, her costume starting to loosen.
“Those that defy Manos feel his wrath!” Balthazar proclaimed, letting out a cocky laugh. “And you have brought his wrath down hard!”
The Mane-iac continued to shrink and she had to scramble to keep her costume from falling right off her. Clutching it close to her chest, the now preteen villain shock with rage. “Get him!”
“Any who attempt to strike me will meet the same fate!” Balthazar warned, striking a pose. “Unless you wish to join your leader in Junior High!” He thrust his hand out and let a devious smirk cross his face. “Or perhaps I should age you until you’re literal dust in the wind?”
“He's bluffing!” Mane-iac hissed glaring at her henchmen. “Get him now!”
“Am I bluffing?” Balthazar asked, chuckling darkly as he balled his gauntleted hand into a fist. “Do you see flashy tights on me? I would think it’s obvious that I’m no hero. Cross me, and I will not hesitate to destroy you.”
“Come on, boss,” one of the henchponies began, tossing Rarity over his shoulder. “Let's get out of here before he gets mad!”
“Hey!” Balthazar boomed, pointing at the henchpony that was manhandling Rarity. “Leave the heroes behind or else.”
With a grunt of effort, Mane-iac ripped a lampost out of the ground, tossing it at Balthazar. “Grab the pwned ponies! We’re leaving!” She rose up on her tendrils, grabbing Rainbow and moving down the street.
“Shit,” Balthazar hissed, watching as each of the henchponies grabbed one of the girls. He made a quick dash, grabbing the shirt of the one with Fluttershy. He repeated the motion he had used on Mane-iac, hoping to get lucky twice.
The minion grunted, socking Balthazar in the face. Adjusting Fluttershy, he took off with the rest of his gang. Balthazar groaned, suddenly finding the back of his head acquainted with the road. His vision blurred and he knew he could feel blood dripping into the back of his throat.
“Son of a bitch!” Touching his face, a surge of pain ran through his skin. “I couldn’t get lucky twice?!”
He grumbled, shakily getting to his feet and tilting his head down. He slowly turned and made his way to Spike. “Do you have any idea where she went to?”
“Yeah, her hideout.” Spike climbed out of the trashcan, eyes locked on Balthazar. “How’d you do that?! You turned her into a filly!!”
Balthazar held up his gauntlet, showing off the slots. “This thing is meant to house gems, one of which has absolute control of time.”
“Uh, dude, those slots are empty.”
Balthazar gave him a flat look. “Thank you, Spike, I was completely unaware of that.” Spitting some blood out of his mouth, he poked Spike’s chest. “Now, where is that hideout?”
Spike looked around, his eyes lighting up when he spotted a street sign. “This way!” He beamed, starting to jog toward the sign.
Balthazar followed after him, ignoring the looks the citizens gave him. He let out a small sigh of relief once his nose stopped bleeding and took stock of where Spike was leading him. The little dragon seemed to be making a beeline for a group of warehouses.
“This it?” Balthazar asked, making Spike stop a good distance away. At Spike's nod, he sighed. “We need to come up with a plan.”
“We won’t be able to do anything in a straight up fight,” Spike said. “Our best shot is to sneak in from the roof and find a way to free the girls.”
“Right.” Balthazar knelt down. “Get on, I’ll carry you up, ya?”
“Think you can carry me and still be able to climb?” Spike asked, wrapping his arms around Balthazar’s shoulders. He held on as Balthazar stood up, and snuck over to the side of the warehouse.
Balthazar found a gutter, remembering all the action movies he had ever seen and wrapped his hands around it. He tested it, checking to see if it would support his weight. Once he was as confident as he was going to get, he braced his foot on the wall of the warehouse and attempted to climb.
Despite a few close calls, Balthazar pulled himself onto the roof. Placing Spike on his feet, he slunk over to the skylight. Lifting it open, he peered inside. Two things stuck out to Balthazar: one being the giant hair dryer that dominated the warehouse, and the other was the cage housing the six spandex-clad frozen mares.
Mane-iac was busy shouting orders at her underlings. It didn't seem like he reduction in size made her any less intimidating. Somehow, she had gotten her costume resized.
“I've finally got you, Poser Ponies!” Mane-iac cackled, climbing up the side of the can. “And when tonight ends, you’ll be frozen forever!”
“You don’t have all of us,” Twilight pointed out, doing her best to glare at the pint-sized villain.
“What? You mean Humdrum?” Mane-iac snorted derisively. “What's he gonna do? Cheer me to death?” Her mood fouled, and her eyes narrowed. “Or were you hoping that furless weirdos going to come save you?”
“That weirdo sure did a number on you,” Dash pointed out with a smirk. “Isn't it past your bedtime?”
Mane-iac’s grin fell away and she grit her teeth. “Despite some small setbacks I am still poised to take over this city! And I will not fall for that weirdos tricks again!”
“Ah bet her first act is gonna be ta make slumber parties mandatory,” Aj taunted, snorting at the image.
“Hit them with the hairspray until they can’t talk,” Mane-iac deadpanned, her mane thrashing around wildly. Feeling her grin return, she moved on top of the can, sitting on the nozzle. “I think I'll put you all in city hall! Just so no one gets any ideas about opposing me.”
“This doesn’t look good,” Balthazar whispered, spotting a catwalk they could drop onto. Lowering himself down, he made his way down to the catwalk. “Hey kid, don't you know its too early for Halloween?”
Mane-iac giggled, her mane stopping its movement. “Oh, I was hoping to see you again.” She lashed out with her mane, several tendrils shooting towards him. “We’re going to have so much fun~”
Balthazar let out a yelp, running along the catwalk to dodge the mane tendrils. “I dunno, I've never been one for dolls. Unless action figures are your jam.”
“I am going to cram my mane down your throat until it comes out the other end!” The Mane-iac boomed, cackling wildly.
“No thanks, I'm not into loli.” Diving behind a crate, Balthazar gave himself a minute to rest. “Come to think of it, that costume is kinda squicky too. There's a reason 10 year olds don't wear latex.”
There was a sound of cracking wood as one of the tendrils broke through the crate and wriggled next to his head. “Killing you is going to be so satisfying,” the Mane-iac growled, her voice laced with venom.
Eyeing her tendril, Balthazar came up with another 'fuck it’ plan. “We’ll see about that.” Grabbing the bit of hair with his armored hand, he started to pull on it like one would pull on a rope. At first, it seemed like nothing was happening and sweat formed on his brow as he exerted himself.
“What the hay are you doing?” Mane-iac grunted, finding herself moving closer to him. Turning her head, she tugged back on the tendril.
Balthazar had to choke back a cry of pain as he felt his arm nearly jerk out of its socket. “Come on,” he muttered, “just a little bit of power gem would do.” Putting his all in, Balthazar pulled again, grinding his teeth in effort. Just when he thought he was going to lose his grip, the tendril seemed to stop pulling against him.
“That's better.” Allowing himself a smirk, he proceeded to reel Mane-iac in, kicking and screaming. He then got an idea, rotating his body and spinning Mane-iac into her henchponies. “I spin you right round~” he belted out, laughing as the henchponies started to scramble.
Mane-iac screamed as Balthazar released her, sending her right into one of her larger henchponies. Rushing over to the cage while he still felt lucky, Balthazar pulled on the door with his gauntleted hand. It groaned, the metal warping with a screech.
His moment was ruined, as a tendril wrapped around his neck. “I don't care if I have to grow up again.” Mane-iac rose up, staring down at him. “I'm going to break your damn neck!”
Balthazar gagged, his eyes snapping between the tendril and the door to the cage. He made a snap decision, trying to pull the door off again while he fought to stay conscious. As the world darkened, his grip loosened, allowing Mane-iac to lift him into the air.
Mane-iac giggled madly, flailing the unconscious Balthazar around like a rag doll with an expression of unbridled joy on her face. “Nopony can stop me now!!”
Spike gulped, lowering himself down to the catwalk. “Guess it’s all up to me now,” he said to himself. He took a deep breath, trying to hype himself up. “Come on, you’ve been through worse than this. You helped save the Crystal Empire.”
Spotting a tarp hanging above the henchmen manning the spray can. “Let's do this.” Summoning his courage, Spike slashed at the ropes holding the tarp up, dropping it on the goons. Throwing himself over the side, Spike landed on the nozzle hard enough to depress it. The mist hit the henchponies under the tarp, freezing them in an instant.
“That actually worked!” Spike exclaimed, grinning like an idiot. “I did something right!”
“That’s great Spike, but could you get us out of this cage so we can help Balthazar before Mane-iac kills him?!” Dash called out.
“R-right!” Spike sucked in a fair amount of air, breathing out a massive gout of flames at the lock.
The girls rushed out of the cage, making a beeline for the Mane-iac. “Time t’put ya in time out!” Applejack shouted, tossing her lasso at the giggling villain.
Mane-iac let out a shout of surprise as the lasso wrapped up her tendrils. Applejack pulled back, causing, the Mane-iac to collapse to the floor. Balthazar tumbled away, laying in a heap. Applejack deftly moved her hands, tying the villain up.
“Good job, Aj!” Dash said, giving her friend a thumbs up. Zipping over to Balthazar, she placed her head on his chest. Her ear twitched and she relaxed. “He's still breathing!”
Everyone let out a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness,” Twilight said. “Now we just need to get him out of this comic.”
“And how are we supposed to do that, Twilight dear?” Rarity asked as she caged some henchponies in a purple light cage.
“We’ve reached the end of the story, so the spell should undo itself,” Twilight said, looking up. “Unless we’re missing something?”
“We still have to turn off her hair machine.” Pinkie zipped over to a glowing orb. “If we don't, everypony will get all hairy!” With a small grunt of effort, she pulled the glowing orb out of the machine. “And the day is saved, thanks to the Power Ponies!” she cheered, tossing confetti into the air.
At that moment, a swirling portal opened in the room, sucking the girls, Spike and Balthazar through it. The group landed back in the castle, their clothes having returned to normal.
“Yes!” Dash cheered, taking in her appearance. “We’re outta that thing!”
Ah know,” Aj agreed, getting to her hooves. “That outfit was way too much for me.” Adjusting her hat, she cast a glance at Balthazar. “What do we do him?”
“Good question,” Twilight said, looking at him. “Let’s take him to Fluttershy’s for now, he’s been through a lot.”
“Hey! Don't ignore me!”
The group collectively glanced behind them, seeing the shrunken Mane-iac still tied up on the floor.
“Keep your mitts off me, you perfume sniffing peon!” Mane-iac snapped at Rarity, lashing her tendrils at the unicorn. The group had brought her and Balthazar to Fluttershy’s cabin, and the unlucky unicorn had tried to dress her in normal clothes.
Rarity grumbled, using her magic to hold the tendrils at bay as best she could. “Would you calm down you little ruffian? I am trying to make you look presentable!”
“I am presentable, you old hag!” Mane-iac growled, tossing a lamp at her.
“Old hag!” Rarity boomed, her right eye twitching as her face contorted into a mask of pure rage. “I am twenty-two you little ingrate! And you are the farthest thing from presentable! You look like you’re wearing a Nightmare Night costume!”
“I am the Mane-iac! Ponies should know who I am, and tremble in fear!” Mane-iac shouted back, sneering up at her.
“You are a pre-teen filly now,” Rarity reminded her, unzipping the Mane-iac’s costume. “And by all that is decent, you will not go around in skin tight latex! Now stay still!”
“No!” Mane-iac cried, thrashing around in her bonds. “I need my costume. I need it to take over the world!” She grunted in effort, twisting and contorting her body in any way she could.
Rarity gritted her teeth, freeing the struggling filly from her latex clothing. “Now,” Rarity began, tossing it into the corner, “Let’s get you more appropriately dressed.”
“Try it and I will bite you, spinstress,” Mane-iac growled, bearing her teeth.
“Must you be so dramatic?” Rarity rolled her eyes, feeling the onset of a headache. “You should be grateful, my sister was willing to give up some of her clothes for you.”
“I don’t want the clothes of a common pony,” Mane-iac hissed, her pupils contracting. “I am meant to stand above all ponies and rule with an iron fist.”
Rarity ignored her, getting the screaming filly into some plain underwear. “Now, would you rather have a dress, or pants?”
“Both make me want to puke,” Mane-iac deadpanned.
“Let’s go with pants.” Rarity grabbed a pair off Fluttershy’s bed. “Now, will you please behave? This will be much easier if you aren’t fighting me.”
Mane-iac grit her teeth, about to retort only for a breeze to roll in from the nearby open window to cause her to shiver. “Fine,” she huffed, straightening her legs out. Grumbling curses under her breathe, she allowed Rarity to slip the pants up her legs. She glanced down, feeling bile rise up in her throat when a plain pair of blue jeans with a musical note sequined onto the back pocket greeted her.
“See? Is that so bad?” Rarity asked, shooting her a smile. Grabbing a shirt, she held it over Mane-iac’s head. “Arms up please.”
“It’s slightly better than walking around naked,” Mane-iac grumbled, holding her arms up and avoiding eye contact with the unicorn. Moving her tendrils through the neckhole, she allowed Rarity to pull it down. It was a sickeningly girly, pink shirt, with a frilly collar and sleeves.
“There, you look so much better in that than that nasty costume,” Rarity assured, sighing in relief as she took a step back from the villain.
“I want to throw up,” Mane-iac responded as Rarity released her magic. “I’m so... ordinary!”
“If you’re so set on not looking ordinary, I could make you some fabulous clothing,” Rarity offered, putting her hands on her hips, a stern look etched on her face. “But no spandex, understand?”
Mane-iac huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “Beggars can’t be choosers, I suppose. Fine, I will let you design new clothes for me. Do a good job and I might even spare you when I take over Equestria.”
“Sorry to disappoint to you, but my friends and I won’t allow that.” Rarity ushered Mane-iac of of the room, grabbing the discarded costume in her magic. “I might as well get this cleaned for you. You can wear it for Nightmare Night.”
“Joy,” Mane-iac replied, sarcasm dripping from her voice as Rarity led her into the living room. She stopped several feet away from the rest of the girls, noticing that they were watching Balthazar with hopeful expressions. “Stupid ape.” Mane-iac growled, lashing a tendril at his face.
Before it could hit him, a pink aura enveloped it. Twilight turned back to the Mane-iac, a stern look on her face. “I think you’ve done enough harm to him.”
“Release me, you pegacorn freak!” Mane-iac snapped, the rest of her tendrils waving around in agitation.
“I’m an alicorn actually,” Twilight replied, ignoring the villain’s outburst. “And while there are only four of us, we’re not freaks.”
“How is she here anyway?” Rainbow Dash asked, sending Mane-iac a glare. “She’s not even a real pony! Shouldn’t she have like disappeared when we pulled her out or whatever?”
“I can only speculate,” Twilight started, releasing the tendril once Mane-iac stopped thrashing, “but Balthazar’s temporal tampering altered her from the state that the story recognized her. So, that left two options, ejection or deletion. Obviously, the comic decided ejection.”
“So, does the Mane-iac just not exist in comics anymore?” Dash asked, looking between Twilight and Mane-iac. “Cause, I think that would like, piss a lot of ponies off.”
“I couldn’t tell you that right now,” Twilight said, shrugging. “At the very least, she no longer exists in that particular issue.” Turning to Mane-iac, Twilight crossed her arms. “You’re not an adult anymore. If you want to throw tantrums, we’ll treat you like a foal.”
“I am not a foal!” Mane-iac growled, her tendrils standing on end. “I am still an adult where it counts!”
“And yet, you’re acting like a child,” Twilight countered, gesturing to the tendrils. “Prove you’re an adult and act like one.”
“Ah reckon a good whoopin’ will straighten er’ out,” Applejack commented, giving Mane-iac an unhappy look. “Someponies gotta put some discipline back in that crazy head of ers’.”
Their conversation was suddenly cut off by a groan coming from the couch. They all turned to see Balthazar sitting up slowly, rubbing his neck. “Ugh, is this Nirvana? For some reason I didn’t think I’d feel pain there.” His eyes locked onto the girls. “Oh right. Horse woman world.”
“We’re glad to see that you’re alright,” Fluttershy said, standing up from the side of the couch. “You were choked for a while, I was worried there might’ve been brain damage.” Stepping over to him, she touched at his throat. “Does it hurt?”
“A little bit,” Balthazar admitted, wincing from her touch. “But I don’t think I’ll need any painkillers for it. I’m a bit disappointed, you girls were rocking those outfits.” Wearing a cheeky grin, he winked at Rainbow Dash. “Especially you, Skittles.”
Rainbow chuckled, putting a hand on her hip and cocking it. “You’re just saying that because you got to cop a quick feel. I saw the way you were checking Rares out.” Elbowing Rarity, a lecherous grin grew across her face. “Maybe you could model your adult line for him?”
Rarity rolled her eyes, though a wry smirk grew across her face. “I don’t know, you seemed to enjoy teasing him. Perhaps you’d like to take a crack at modeling a set or two?” Leaning close, she muttered. “I’ll even lend you that corset you like~”
“Deal,” Dash whispered back, subtly rubbing her hands together. “But only if one of the outfits is a faux leather number.” Hearing Twilight’s annoyed grunt, Rainbow pulled away. “Anyway, guy, you made Mane-iac a real filly.”
Balthazar turned his head, finding the villain in question giving him a death glare while her tendrils twitched in agitation. “Huh, so I did. Lucky you, you get to be a real girl.Nice clothes, had no idea you were a girly girl.”
“These clothes are borrowed,” Mane-iac hissed, intensifying her glare. “I would never wear anything like this under normal circumstances.”
“I thinkest thou doth protest too much,” Balthazar replied, rising to his feet. Swaying a little, he braced himself against Fluttershy. “Okay, before we start talking, I need food. I haven’t eaten all day, and getting choked out didn’t help.”
“I can help you there,” Fluttershy assured with a smile, helping him stay upright. “I always keep plenty of food in stock for all my little critters. What can I make for you?” Taking him into the kitchen, Fluttershy eased him into a chair.
“You know how to make curry?” Balthazar asked, putting his feet up on another chair. “I could go for some of that.”
“Of course I do,” Fluttershy answered, turning her back to him so she could gather everything she’d need. “Molly the mongoose can’t seem to get enough of the curry I make for her. Do you like it any specific kind of way?”
“Not really,” Balthazar answered, closing his eyes. “I’d just appreciate a nice blend of flavor and spiciness.” His moment of relaxation was ruined by the sounds of hooves and chairs moving around. Cracking an eye open, he was greeted by the expectant looks of the girls. “Really? I can’t eat first?” When their looks didn’t waver, he sighed and motioned with his hand. “Alright, I guess you can ask whatever you want to help pass the time while I wait for Fluttershy to finish cooking.” Pointing at Applejack, he grunted. “You start.”
“Ah’ll forgive the rudeness considerin’ ya saved mah hide,” Applejack said, tilting her hat back on her head. “Anyway, what are ya exactly? It’s pretty clear that ya ain’t any kind o’ being from around here.”
“I’m a human,” Balthazar answered, putting his hands behind his head. “Specifically, I’m half Indian, half Nevadan. Got me a nice complexion, courtesy of my dear sweet mother.” He grinned and motioned a hand around his face in demonstration. “If you want a scientific name for my species then that’d be Homo Sapien and our closest living relative is the bonobo.” Gesturing to Rainbow, he grunted. “Next.”
“How did you get here?” Dash asked. “I’ve never heard of a human before so you’ve gotta be from pretty far away.”
“Uh well, I dunno.” Balthazar shrugged, looking up at the ceiling. “Last thing I remember is Maan giving me this gauntlet and the next thing I know, I’m in some creepy forest. I thought she was playing a prank on me but, there aren’t a lot of forests in Nevada.”
Twilight frowned. “Sounds like you went through some form of teleportation. After your meal, we should go to my lab so I can run a few tests. If we’re lucky, I might be able to detect the transportation method and reverse it.”
“You can’t!” Balthazar slammed his hands on the table, a strange look in his eyes. “I have to find them all. I can’t go back until I find all the gems.” Blinking, he made a face, leaning back in his seat. “Yeah, I have to find the gems first. I can worry about getting home later.”
Spike quirked a brow. “Uh, are you okay, dude? You didn’t look like yourself for a second there.”
“Yeah.” Balthazar nodded his head. “I’m fine, Scales. Don’t worry about me.”
“Well, then I’ll go next,” Twilight said. “You mentioned gems just now; what kind of gems are you referring to exactly?”
“The Infinity Gems,” Balthazar spoke, leaving his strange outburst behind him. A grin tugged at his face as he thought of how to describe them. “A set of six that when collected grant the user, Unlimited Power!” he belted out in his best Palpatine impression.
Pinkie pointed at each of the sockets, her muzzle scrunching up in concentration. “You said there were six, but you have eight spots on your glove,” she pointed out, zipping over and holding the gauntlet up to his face. “See?”
“Yeah, I noticed that.” Balthazar grabbed the gauntlet, sliding it back on. “The gauntlet is only supposed to have six slots. I have no idea what the other two are for.”
“These sound like my kinds of gems,” Rarity said with a smile, primping her mane. “As functional as they are fabulous.”
“I’ve heard of these gems before!” Twilight beamed. “They’re not common knowledge, per se, but there’s plenty of information on them in academic writings. It’s widely believed that a primordial being split itself into eight different parts to create them!”
“Right.” Something in the back of his head told him that was wrong, but he didn’t know why. “Eight huh? What were the other two?”
“There’s some debate on that subject,” Twilight said, motioning with her hand, “but the currently held consensus is that they were Death and Rhythm.”
“Death was a fake gem in the comics,” Balthazar said, rubbing his chin. “It was made as a trap for a villain named Thanos. Rhythm was something from a video game.”
At that moment, Fluttershy turned from the stove and sat a steaming plate in front of Balthazar. It was piled high with curry, the sauce being slightly red. “There you go, I made it extra special for you,” she chimed, giving him a warm smile. “I didn’t know if you ate meat or not so I put in pieces of fried tofu.”
“Thanks.” Balthazar didn’t wait, digging right in. “Damn, you make some damn good curry. Tofu’s okay though. I’m pretty meh on it.” His piece spoken, he went back to devouring the curry.
Fluttershy giggled, walking over to the sink to wash her hands. She looked over her shoulder at him, still smiling. “With how many fussy animals I’ve taken care of, I get plenty of practice cooking. And just tell me something you’d rather have over tofu if you come visit again.”
“Meat,” came Balthazar’s muffled reply.
She turned back to him, wiping her hands off with a paper towel and throwing it away. “Okay, what kind of meat would you like? I have plenty of fish thanks to the bears and cats I’ve taken care of.”
“Fish is good.” He gave her a thumbs up.
Fluttershy nodded, looking over to her fridge and rubbing her chin in thought. “Hmm, I’ve never put fish in the curry I’ve made before. I’ll have to make several versions and have Harry taste test them for me.” She let out a tittering laugh. “I think he’d be eager to help.”
Rarity watched Balthazar eat, a look of disgust crossing her face. “You know, Twilight darling, he eats almost as badly as you do.”
Twilight shot Rarity a look, her feathers ruffling on her back. “And what’s wrong with the way I eat?”
“Rest assured darling.” Rarity threw her mane back, wearing a confident smile. “A few lessons with me, and the two of you should be eating properly!” A piece of tofu landed on her muzzle, causing her smile to fade. “Lessons that can’t come soon enough.”
“Pass,” Balthazar said, scooping up a giant spoonful and popping it into his mouth. “I don’t plan on sharing a meal with the queen or something, so those lessons just sound like a waste of time.” Locking eyes with Rarity, he made his chewing as obnoxiously loud as possible.
Rarity cringed, watching as Balthazar made sure to open his mouth wide and give her a good view of his chewed food. She turned her head away, making a face of disgust. “Does never spending an evening with a mare sound better? Because with table manners like those, that’s the path you’re happily marching down.”
He waved his hand dismissively, a cocky grin on his face. “I can wow a lady just fine, thank you. No extra manners needed.” He went back to eating, humming happily and closing his eyes. “Thanks for the offer though.”
“Perhaps I should look for these gems myself?”” Mane-iac commented, rubbing her hands together. “With power like that, nothing will stop me from making the world as I wish!” she threw her head back, letting out a long, insane cackle.
Balth shot her a look, the fork hanging out of his mouth. “Try even touching one and I’ll shave that head of yours. Then let’s see you fight the Philistines.”
This caused Mane-iac to quiet down, her hair twitching in agitation. After a few moments, she shot Balth a glare and muttered to herself. “You will be the first victim of my god-like power.”
“Whatever you say, Bad Hair Day.” Balth set his fork down, lifting his bowl up and drinking down the last of the curry. “That hit the spot alright~” Setting it down, he stretched his arms over his head. “Not as good as Mom’s but, really, what food is?”
Fluttershy giggled, holding a hand in front of her mouth. “I won’t take that personally, nothing compares to home cooking from my own parents.”
“So.” Balth clapped his hands together, growling in pain as his hand slapped against his armored hand. “What’s on the docket for the rest of the day? We gonna sit around and play twenty questions; or what?”
“I think we might have a few more questions,” Twilight admitted, getting up from her own seat. “After that I’d like to do a few tests so we can understand you a bit better. And of course there’s the matter of finding you a place to stay. Does that all sound okay to you?”
“Fine.” Balth waved his hand, gesturing for them to ask their questions.
“I have an important question for you.” Pinkie got up and leaned in close to Balth, dominating his vision. “How do you feel about parties?”
“Eh.” He shrugged noncommittally. “They’re okay.”
Pinkie narrowed her eyes at him, letting out a snort. “Oh, is that so.” She then slunk into the back of the group, her legs seeming to remain still. “I’ll make you a believer in parties,” she muttered.
“Right...” Balth looked to the other girls. “So... any less inane questions?”
“Do you have any skills I should know about?” Twilight asked. “I could probably help you get a job somewhere if you did.”
“I have a working knowledge of astrophysics, with an emphasis on the motion of celestial bodies, and for a short while in high school I managed a Wendy’s.” Balthazar rubbed his chin. “I know a lot about comics, not sure how that would help here though...”
“Oh!” Spike shot up, holding the comic that they had all been trapped in a few hours ago. “The Ponyville Comic Shop closed a while ago, that’s why I had to go to Canterlot for this! Maybe we could get him a loan to buy it!”
Twilight nodded, rubbing her chin. “That might be doable; I’ll write a letter to Princess Celestia and see if she can divert some of the stipend I receive from her to that end. Though, we still need to worry about housing...”
“I remember overhearing that the comic shop had housing on its second floor,” Spike offered, his tail wishing and a smile etched onto his face. He turned his attention to Fluttershy. “Is there room for Balth here until he gets his loan approved?”
Fluttershy nodded, giving Balth a kind look. “He can stay as long as he likes; if he doesn’t mind helping me around the cottage.”
Balthazar gave her a large smile, putting hand to his chest and offering Fluttershy a bow. “I assure you, my maan raised me right. There’s no way I could be a layabout in the home of a lady that saved my life.” Straightening up, he winked at her. “Side’s . not much else for me to do.”
“There’d be plenty of room at my place,” Dash started, putting her hands behind her head, “if you wouldn’t mind plummeting through a cloud floor.”
Balthazar chuckled weakly, doing his best not to picture falling to his doom. After a moment, he realized the strangeness of her sentence. “Hold on a second, how do you have cloud floors?”
“It’s pretty common for pegasi to make our homes out of clouds,” Rainbow answered, a prideful smile on her face. “Hay, we even have an entire city made out of them. Cloudsdale is the pride of pegasi all over Equestria.”
“Heh, Cloud City,” Balth chuckled, a smirk on his face. “Here’s hoping I don’t get frozen in carbonite if I ever visit there. So... we gonna do anything else besides play 20 questions? Not that I don’t mind chit chat, but uh, I’d rather not today be boring.”
“I could always show you the comic shop so you can get a feel for what could be your new home,” Twilight offered, arching her brow slightly as she ignored his rude behavior. “That is, if you’re up to walking through town.”
Balthazar stood up from the table, making a show of moving his legs around. “I think I’ll be ok to walk. Not like I’d be able to say no to exploring a fantasy world anyway.” He flashed her a thumbs up and a cocky grin. “Lead the way, Matterhorn.”
“Please don’t call me that,” Twilight replied, getting out of her own seat and leading him to the door. “Twilight is just fine, thank you very much.” Opening the door, she turned to the others. “I think I have it from here girls.”
“Fine by me,” Dash said, stretching her arms over her head. “Cleaning that castle and fighting a supervillain wiped me out. I’m gonna go home, check on Tank and relax.” The other girls shared similar sentiments and went on their way. Save Fluttershy who was already home. Spike grabbed Mane-iac and followed Fluttershy out the door.
“Let go of me you useless mascot!” Mane-iac growled, yanking her arm away. “Keep your claws to yourself, Humdunce.”
“My name is Spike,” the drake replied, ignoring her warnings and continuing to lead her towards town. “And last time I checked, I was the one that shut your machine down. So, take that.” Puffing his chest out, Spike stuck his nose up at her posturing.
A wicked grin spread across Mane-iac’s face and she stuck one of her hair tendrils out in front of Spike, causing him to trip. “You really should watch where you walk, Spike. You never know when you might come across something that can trip you up.” Putting on a fake smile, she helped him back to his feet.
Spike snorted a puff of smoke, glaring at her. She kept her smile up, ignoring his obvious annoyance with her. “I’m watching you, Hair Ball.” For the rest of the walk, Spike kept an eye on Mane-iac, a sour look on his face.
Balthazar looked back at the pair, noting that Mane-iac’s fake smile seemed to slowly become genuine as she continued to pester Spike during the trip through town. He chuckled, returning his attention to the road ahead of him while Twilight tried to tell him about various locations.
“-here we are!” Twilight almost struck a pose, gesturing to the building in front of her. “This building used to be the Ponyville branch of Crackle Comics. The owner retired not to long ago, leaving the place vacant.”
“Crackle Comics?” Balthazar repeated, taking in the building. The outside looked to be in fine condition with the only blemish being a discoloration on the front where a sign once was. Though that didn’t mean anything about the inside. He probably had his work cut out for him in the cleaning department. “That’s an interesting name.”
“The owner of the franchise is Kirby Crackle,” Spike elaborated, standing next to Balthazar. “My brother used to take me to Kirby’s Canterlot store all the time. I stop by whenever we’re in town.”
Upon hearing that name, Balth couldn’t help but burst out laughing. “Okay, that name is perfect. If he has a friend named Stan I think I’ll die laughing.” Cutting his laugh short, he cleared his throat. “So... do we talk to the realty office or what?”
“That’s right,” Twilight said, turning to him with a smile. “Though since you’re not a citizen and I doubt you have any of our currency, I’ll put the deed in my name. You can get it once you’ve started earning money and get those papers in order.”
“Right. I can run a comic shop.” Turning away, he poked Spike’s chest. “You can be my cleric, Scales. You know more about the comics here than I do.”
Spike grinned, looking to Twilight. “Can I work at the shop?” he practically begged, his tail swishing behind him. “It sounds like a lot of fun!”
Twilight held fast for a moment before caving to his look. “Alright, alright. You can work, but!” She held a finger up. “Part time only, got it?”
Cheering, Spike wrapped his arms around her waist in a tight hug. “Thanks, Twi! You’re the best big sister ever!” Pulling away, he gave Balthazar a thumbs up. “You’ve got yourself an assistant!” A devious smile crossed his face. “And you can have Hairy over there be the janitor.”
“I would sooner shave my fur and mane than be a lowly janitor!” Mane-iac growled, her mane thrashing about. “They should make you the mascot. You can stand on the street corner and die of heat exhaustion.”
“Easy there, Mane-iac,” Balthazar said, putting a hand on the pre-teen supervillain’s shoulder. “I’m not gonna make you be a janitor. And Scales isn’t going to stand around in a killer costume. You’ll be a part timer just like him! Can you imagine how many people will flock to the store when they see you?”
“Absolutely, unequivocally no,” Mane-iac said flatly, glaring at the young man.
Leaning down to her level, Balthazar pouted. “Are you sure? Can you imagine the adoration you’ll get from the unwashed masses? People will come from far and wide, just to see you. Think about it! You’ll be one of the most famous ponies on the planet!”
Mane-iac crossed her arms over her chest, tapping her hoof on the ground. Looking down, she scrunched her muzzle up in thought. “Hmm, fame doesn’t sound bad. Fine, I will try being the draw to your pitiful shop, but if I hate it, expect to find my mane at your throat.”
“Of course, of course.” Winking at Twilight, Balthazar stood back up. Not even a day in horse woman land and he was going to open a store. Sure, it wasn’t what he was expecting, or even what he was studying, he’d make it work. Holding his gauntlet up, he inspected the empty sockets. Eight gems. Eight gems stood between him and going home. “I’ll find them, maan, I promise.”
