Crab Cakes & Flashes

It was the following day. For Twilight? She had made up her mind. While for Crab Cakes?

BONK!

"OW!!!" Crab Cakes hollered as a carpentry student accidentally hit him on the head

"Nyahahahaha!!" The student panicked, "I'm sorry teach! I didn't know you were there!"

"Oh ho think nothing of it." Crab Cakes said as he took the hammer

"Oh, gee thanks."

"You're welcome." Crab Cakes said before slamming the hammer into the student's head with a BONK, "Aaaxe!"

"AHHHH, OH, AHH AHHH AHHHHH!!!" The student cried out as the nail puller part of the hammer went into the student's mouth and he found himself being pulled out of the classroom by Crab Cakes

He was having one of his off days. Well with the students at least. Why did he ever volunteer to look after the carpentry students for their Sunday projects? Either way, it was 3:00 and everyone went home for the day. Crab Cakes had to say behind though to check on his medical files to see if anything was messed with. Luckily for him, nothing was, but he left a note for the nurse for tomorrow to let her know what had happened. Why was is he doing this? The vents suddenly came to life scaring the shit out of him and made him drop all the files. By the time all that was done it was already 3:52 by the time he came home. When Cinch asked what happened to him to make him take so long, the only thing he replied with was "a spill" and nothing more.

By the time he changed back into his normal civilian clothes he was already receiving a call from Flash.

"What's up Flash?" Crab Cakes asked as he answered

"She's in." Flash replied

"Tell her to meet us at the Mayor's office." Crab Cakes Said

"Why?"

"I've arranged an appointment with Mayor Mare, fucking puns, to check on Sunset's files."

"Can you even legally do that?"

"Flash. I'm with Crystal Prep. Crystal Prep has connections to the Mayor. If we need it, they'll give it. No questions asked."

"Really? It's that simple?"

"Sort of, but that's just the shortened version."

"Dear lord, what's the long version?" Flash asked a bit startled

"You don't wanna know friend." Crab Cakes said before hanging up, "The story behind that's a complicated one that would've taken up 60% of the chapter. And nobody got time for that! SCENE TRANSITION TIME!"

Crab Cakes was waiting outside city hall for some time, until eventually he got fed up with waiting and decided to go in alone. Crab Cakes, before then, made a call to Flash.

"What's aching ya Crab?" Flash asked as he answered

"What's taking you two so long?" Crab Cakes asked

"We got lost in the Everfree Woods after she finished a date with Timber Spruce."

"WHAT?! How in the name of fuck did you get lost in the Everfree?!"

"How should I know?! I'm telling you dude this damn forest has got a mind of its own!"

"*sigh* I'm going into city hall alone then-"

"I would NOT recommend doing that!"

"What? Why?"

"Dude, everybody knows the rumor about Mayor Mare!"

"Dude. I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. Neither do the damn readers, speak English man!"

"What readers?"

"Nevermind."

"Anyways... you don't know the rumor?"

"Why would I ever listen to a rumor? That's all they ever are until I damn well see the proof right before my eyes. Do I-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know Crab Cakes. The readers know where you were going with that too."

"Then you damn well know why I don't listen to rumors. Even then, what the hell kind of rumor is going around for the Mayor?" Crab Cakes asked before saying in a sarcastic voice, "Oh! I know! Whoopsy me! How Could I not know?! Is it a sex scandal to ruin her reputation?! Oh, how original is that? AS IF THAT'S NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE!"

"Foul ball."

"False claims of shady practices?" Crab Cakes asked plainly

"Strike one."

"Racist shit?"

"Strike two."

"Ex-lover claiming shit that either most likely and usually never happened or overexaggerating their break up to no end to give her a bad name?"

"Ball."

"Then what the hell is the rumor then?! I listed off four of the five cliched rumors! What is she then secretly a molester?"

"Strike three, you're out."

"GRRRRR. What in the hell is it then?!"

"Those who go into city hall alone... almost never come back the same."

"That's it?! That's what all this pointless build up was for!?"

"I'm not finished yet jackass."

"There's more? How the hell could there be more? And where the hell's that music coming from?"

"Why do you think people only ever go into City Hall in twos or a group? Because going in solo marks you for never coming back the same you were going in."

"What? Now that just doesn't make any sense-"

"Those who come out are either too shaken up to talk about what happened, or just try to avoid the question altogether."

"Okaayyy I'm starting to get a little spooked. And seriously where the fuck's that damn Rainbow Factory Instrumental coming from?!"

"You should be. Ask my mother. She was either, depending on your point of view bold enough, or foolish enough, to go into city hall alone to make a complaint about the neighborhood sewage system. When she returned home? There was a blank stare in her eyes. I asked her what had happened, but she avoided the question altogether."

"Dude. That's not a rumor. That's a fact if you saw the effects with your own eyes. Why hasn't anybody caught her in the act?! She's the mayor surely one of the staff must've caught her!"

"Part of the rumor is that she's doing... whatever she does to them too to keep them quiet."

"I mean in terms of phone, videos, photos and all that!"

"Her office is usually only lit by the light in the room and a table lamp. No windows or anything so photos is pointless. She's even got it soundproof in there too so the voice is out, and when you take one step inside, your phone's turned into completely upside down. Nothing will work."

"WHAT?! HOW?!"

"Nobody knows Skull. So. Are you still going in there alone?"

"Yes."

"Dude did you not listen to a single thing I just said?!?!"

"I did, and you know what? I've already got a death sentence waiting for me by the hands of Sunset Shimmer. I've also pretty much-gotten everything off of my bucket list, I have nothing left to lose Flash." Crab Cakes said as he hung up, "Oh fucking finally the music stopped who the hell was playing that?!"

Uh.... my bad?

"Remind me to kill you later." Crab Cakes said as he went inside the building

But just as he did Flash and Twilight had arrived quickly going up the stairs to... find the doors locked.

"He's dead." Flash deadpanned before softly saying, "I tried to warn him."